Destiny‘s second expansion, House of Wolves, is slated to release on May 19, 2015, Activision announced on Monday. The new content will bring players up to the Reef to deal with the Fallen threat from the House of Wolves.
House of Wolves will explore the story around the Awoken and their Queen, while introducing 3 new Crucible maps and a brand new raid centered around the Fallen.
The prologue trailer will go live at 1 PM EST.
The Ant-Man trailer is finally here giving us our first real look at the super-powered suit as well as the first story beats.
The official story synopsis:
The next evolution of the Marvel Cinematic Universe brings a founding member of The Avengers to the big screen for the first time with Marvel Studios’ “Ant-Man.” Armed with the astonishing ability to shrink in scale but increase in strength, master thief Scott Lang must embrace his inner-hero and help his mentor, Dr. Hank Pym, protect the secret behind his spectacular Ant-Man suit from a new generation of towering threats. Against seemingly insurmountable obstacles, Pym and Lang must plan and pull off a heist that will save the world.
Marvel’s “Ant-Man” stars Paul Rudd as Scott Lang aka Ant-Man, Evangeline Lilly as Hope Van Dyne, Corey Stoll as Darren Cross aka Yellowjacket, Bobby Cannavale as Paxton, Michael Peña as Luis, Judy Greer as Maggie, Tip “Ti” Harris as Dave, David Dastmalchian as Kurt, Wood Harris as Gale, Jordi Mollà as Castillo and Michael Douglas as Hank Pym. Directed by Peyton Reed and produced by Kevin Feige, Marvel’s “Ant-Man” delivers a high-stakes, tension-filled adventure on July 17, 2015.
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. That’s right, kiddies, Game of Thrones has returned and along with it all the gore, politics, and boobs you can handle. I’ll spare you the recap of where our Throne-y friends left off last season because there’s about a bajillion recap posts out there and me writing another would be about as useful as nipples on a breastplate. (…Eh? EH?!)
Much like the previous seasons, the first episode of season 5, “The Wars to Come,” is a slow affair. It spends most of the hour setting up all of the plots we’ll follow throughout the season and because of that, there isn’t much in the way of action. That doesn’t make it terrible because I’m all ’bout that character development, but aside from the final ten minutes, nothing jumps out as exciting.
The episode begins with a (never before seen!) flashback to a young Cersei Lannister and I’m immediately struck by how well Nell Williams has managed to capture that “Cersei” look.
Along with her friend, Melara, the wee Cersei is on a mission to find Maggy the Frog, so that she can learn about her future. I admire the bravado in the young Lannister, but true to Cersei, she’s only interested in her status, and the answers are not the ones she wants. Note: it looks like Game of Thrones is retconning that scene from season 1 when Cersei told Catelyn about the black-haired baby she lost before Joffrey was born.
Back in the present, adult Cersei attends the memorial for her father, Tywin, and Jaime is in the sept when she gets there with that “We’ve got to stop meeting like this” look. I clutched my pearls for a moment, afraid that there might be a repeat of the rape from last season after Joffrey’s death. (I don’t care what the actors/showrunners say, that was a rape.) At the very least the twins should find a new location for date nights; there aren’t many show-important Lannisters left.
Jaime continues down this path where he is less likable than his book counterpart. Rather than Cersei being the one who is paranoid about losing power, it’s Jaime, and once again, Cersei is the more sympathetic of the pair. She *almost* respects Tyrion for what he did because at least he intended his actions, whereas Jaime hides behind his ignorance, taking no blame. As the scene ends, you can see the respect she once had for her brother/lover draining out of her.
Tywin, however, is looking fabulous.
Oh, heyyyyyy. There’s Lancel at the memorial, asking Cersei to spare a moment to talk about the Seven. Aaaaand look! Another Lannister funeral for Jaime and Cersei to attend is on the horizon, because Cersei is going to murder that dude if he doesn’t keep his Sparrow mouth shut.
Meanwhile, we see Loras for the first time in forever and I don’t think he’s left the bed the entire time. Nor has he put on clothes. Ten points from House HBO for the character assassination of Loras Tyrell. Margaery does not approve either.
The sickly lord of the Eyrie, Robin Arryn, is learning to use a sword and spoiler alert: he’s terrible. Not much else occurs with Sansa and Littlefinger other than another Stark girl slipping right on by Brienne and Podrick. I wonder why this scene was included except to remind us that yes, they are all still alive and Sweet Robin is totes strong and not at all about to die from some crazy illness. Littlefinger is innocent, I swear.
On the other side of the hill, Brienne is fed up with Pod’s shit.
Tyrion gets drunk and vomits. No, really. That’s basically all he does this episode. Oh, he and Varys have great verbal sparring matches, to be sure–they’re really the best duo on the show–but it’s only good for the laughs.
And then Varys continues to make grand speeches about the fate of Westeros, good rulers, blah blah. He uses the iconic line from the trailers, “Who said anything about him?” And somehow it isn’t as powerful. However, the point is made. Tyrion then decides to drink himself into a coma while Varys continues to pick up his poop all the way to Meereen.
HBO, you gave me a start because for a moment there, I thought you had replaced Grey Wurm and I was going to be very upset.
Meereen begins with a depressing scene as we learn that the Unsullied go to brothels to be held. We also learn that the Meereen brothels are home to the worst cuddle partners ever. Oh, and hey, look. A naked woman.
Daenerys is, of course, not pleased by the news that her Unsullied are being killed, so she sends more Unsullied to patrol the streets. One guess as to how that goes down. Later, Dany seeks the bedroom advice of Daario, the guy who cut off the head of his last boss. So, you know, a wise dude. He tells her that she isn’t the Mother of Unsullied but the Mother of Dragons. Dany, being the rational type, then decides to see the “children” she put in time out months ago. Unfortunately for Dany, dragons don’t know what it means to “be cool” and instead they stomp around screaming that they have way more fun over at dad’s house.
Jon Snow spars with the kid who killed Ygritte and proves that he at least knows how to show restraint and not murder the little git.
Just kidding. I’m sure he’s a sweet kid.
Sam and Gilly have an awkward conversation and Gilly puts him between a gravestone and a hard place. “Sam, don’t let them kick me out.” “I–I can’t. I’ll just go with you.” “They’ll kill you, idiot. Don’t let them kick me out.” “I…” -_-
Melisandre then takes Jon to see the Stannis the Buttheart, rightful King of Westeros. On the way, she reminisces about her time spent with another dark-haired young man and we get to see Jon Snow be super awkward about it.
Atop the wall, Stannis convinces Jon to convince Mance Rayder to convince his people to follow Stannis so he can “convince” the Boltons to leave Winterfell. Ya dig? Unfortunately for Jon, Mance Rayder decides to pull a Ned Stark and get all noble, telling the pretty boy that he has principles and won’t be seen as weak in front of his BFF Tormund. Besides, Jon’s track record about knowing things isn’t exactly squeaky clean, so the King Beyond the Wall decides to take his chances with the Red Woman.
It does not end well.
Bran “Wah I can’t walk” Stark
Hodor “Hodor” Hodor
ANYONE from Dorne >:|
Jaime’s right hand
Jorah 🙁
Joffrey 🙂
The Boltons 😀
Arya “I’m going to kill everyone” Stark (what gives?)
Gendry “I’m still rowing” Baratheon
Benjen Stark
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9pm EST on HBO.
“I am the ill intent who set upon the traveler on a road that he should not have been on.” – Wilson Fisk
We’ve gone 12 hours without seeing the Daredevil costume. I will admit, when I first saw the reveal on Thursday, it was the first time I was ‘meh’ about anything from the show. So, I took with a grain of salt as we raced toward the finale.
Urich’s death came as a complete shock to me. I really expected Matt to burst in at the end and save his life. His funeral was punctuated by the absence of Foggy, who in the meantime has been pumping Marcy (figuratively and literally) for information on Fisk’s dealings, setting the stage for what could be the comeuppance of Fisk legally, and Matt getting ready to enforce justice in case that fails.
Owlsley meets the coward’s death that he deserves. Did anyone really think Fisk was going to let him get away with poisoning Vanessa? In fact, I thought Owlsley was going to go by the Oberyn Martell way, dying by elevator shaft seemed a bit too clean. Of course, this means that the Kingpin has to tie up loose ends, the one being Hoffman, a witness who could blow the whole thing. Luckily, Matt gets to Hoffman in time and proceeds to blow the cover off of the whole thing.
Playing ‘Nessun Dorma’ while Fisk’s criminal empire crumbles around him is genius. Seeing so many of the series villains, both big and small, go down was fantastic. Obviously, this wasn’t the last that we’d be seeing of Fisk, but at this point, the flawlessly executed escape during prisoner transfer has been overdone (a la Dark Knight and Skyfall). However, this set up the final confrontation between Matt Murdock and Wilson Fisk.
And finally, enter Daredevil. Seeing the first shot of the costume made whatever doubts I had disappear. Watching the suit in action was brilliant. Daredevil moved like he does in the comics, his suit didn’t constrain him at all, and the ricochet of the billy club made my inner fanboy squeal. This fight painted the two combatants perfectly. Daredevil, a perfectly honed and trained fighter reliant on speed, and Fisk, a brutal force of nature with no mind. However, those Murdocks have a bit of the devil in ‘em, so Matt ends up on top.
The series comes to close with scenes that wrap up the storylines, like Nelson & Murdock getting back on its feet. The two most haunting scenes though, have nothing to do with our heroes. Wilson Fisk, now clad in his iconic white, staring at the wall sent shivers up and down my spine. And finally Vanessa, slipping on the engagement ring, and staring out into the abyss. If Marvel and Netflix deliver a second season, seeing Vanessa reign as the Kingpin would be something we’d all want.
Have thoughts on the series? Share them below in the comments section!
Given the state of Hells Kitchen’s Police department, Karen made the wise decision to chuck Wesley’s gun into the river. For someone that may or may not have shot someone before, she’s clearly haunted by the act and terrified of the repercussions. Afraid to be alone, she reaches out to Foggy and Matt for support, but they’re still embroiled in their own quarrel to realize her turmoil. She presses Ben to get their story out, warning that she thinks they know they visited her mother. Many of us were probably yelling at the screen, wanting Karen to tell Ben definitively what happened. As morning breaks, Vanessa wakes and promptly calms a worried Fisk, who’s ready to whisk her out of the country for safety’s sake. He’s pulled away from her bedside to discover Wesley’s body, construing it as a continuation of Venessa’s poisoning. While gathering the details of Wesley’s actions, he reminds us that underneath his stylish Kevlar suits is an animal, as he pummels Francis with punches so laden with bass that they can almost be felt by the viewer.
Matt’s finally well enough – ok, not really well enough, but able – to venture out into the city and continue unraveling Fisk’s operation. With Ben’s assistance he goes after Gao’s heroin, hoping to hurt Fisk’s bank account and clean up his streets to boot. Next to Stone’s appearance, Madam Gao’s is perhaps the next biggest morsel in this series is Gao in this episode. After sending Daredevil sliding across a warehouse floor with a single punch, she informs Leland that she’s returning home which is “considerably further” than China. Presumably she’s another element in the impending war Stick mentioned to Matt. It’s another example of how Marvel tempers their audience. It’s a tactic they borrow from their comics, as the epilogues will typically foreshadow impending conflicts. A magical element is coming to the Marvel Universe, and the powers that be are getting us ready.
This episode’s opening foreshadows its tragic end. Fisk’s quiet patience to wait for Ben highlights his cunning tactics. He’s just about to expose the Kingpin (have we ever heard them utter this phrase?) but the timing was too perfect. We knew a major death was coming, in a show like this when good things are happening to good people, you just know tragedy is about to strike. The tragedy is a beautifully crafted example of a marriage, love expressed through a deep friendship, where the Urich’s truly know one another. All this sentiment solidified that Ben was clearly on the chopping block. However, we’ve seen our protagonists nearly die multiple times. Even though it’s stupid to think, there were moments where I thought the titular character (that’s Daredevil) might not make it. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case. As his boots ceased to wiggle with life, Ben’s murder did another thing. It alienated the viewers from liking Wilson. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still fascinated by him but I’m not nearly as sympathetic to him as I was after he killed Anatoly.
All in all, I’m just ready for this effing suit!
The romance angle between Matt and Claire has been the weakest part of this entire series. Thankfully, we see it draw to a close here as she leaves with parting words, some advice for body armor, and a promise to be there when Matt really needs her. Seeing as Claire Temple is originally a Luke Cage character, I’m sure she’ll pop up sooner rather than later.
My favorite supporting character so far is Father Lantom, the priest to whom Matt confesses to and returns to for guidance. You see how the symbol of Daredevil becomes formed in Matt’s mind, and how he struggles with who he has to become and how to live with his thoughts and actions. Father Lantom hypothesizes that maybe the devil was god’s plan to scare us into “treading the path of the righteous”.
This episode really feels like a breather, both emotionally and plot-wise, which I think we all needed. The only real bit of action is the scene between Matt and Fisk’s tailor, Melvin Potter (who is Gladiator in the comics). The miracle tailor who works with Kevlar puts quite the beating on poor old Matt, but once he’s beaten, he breaks down to reveal he was coerced to work for Fisk all this time. Taking pity on the simple-minded man, Matt promises to protect Betsy, the woman Melvin cares about, and in return, if Melvin can make him something (THE SUIT!!!!!). God, I really hope that Matt can keep his promise.
Fisk spends his time at Vanessa’s bedside, seeing to her recovery. You can see the rage only barely kept in line by concern for his beloved. Wesley, as Fisk’s only true friend, sees this, and tries to find ways to give Fisk time to grieve. At this point, I think we all suspect that Owlsley is the snitch, and I hope he gets what’s coming to him.
Wesley, stupidly, goes to try to tie up the loose end that is Fisk’s mother BY HIMSELF. I cannot believe such an amazing character meets such a whimpering death. Death by accident, death by carelessness, worst of all, death by Karen, UGH. At least Wesley stayed true to his character, trying a bluff till the very end. He will be missed.
Wesley’s death is a huge game changer for the series. I felt that he held Wilson in check from his worst impulses, and genuinely tried to help his employer. With Wesley and Vanessa out of commission for the foreseeable future, we’re going to see the animal cut loose. A man with nothing to lose and nothing to hold him back is someone who should be feared. More and more, it seems like Fisk is the one with nothing to lose, and Matt is poised to lose everything.
People have been bagging on Foggy, and between the other writers and I, we’ve been having a lot of disagreements on whether he’s necessary as a character, or what his place is on the show. This episode explains all of that, and makes it integral to the series. From the very start, you get the sense that Foggy Nelson is a bit of doofus, but more importantly, he is a good man, and the better half of Nelson & Murdock.
This episode explores the relationship between Foggy and Matt. It’s not that they’re just friends, but they share the same deeply held convictions, convictions that set them apart from everyone else. You also see the two develop their friendship and trust on such a deep level starting from college (with a mention of a certain Greek girl). Foggy doesn’t treat Matt like a cripple, and Matt doesn’t dismiss Foggy because of his optimism, and that’s why Matt’s betrayal cuts so deeply. By the end of this episode, Nelson & Murdock no longer exists as we know it, and more importantly, the ties that bind them together have been damaged beyond what seems reparable. Matt not only has been destroyed physically, but emotionally as well.
Meanwhile, Karen dupes Ben into finding Wilson Fisk’s mother, and they extract the happenings of the fantastic episode eight from her, setting up a potential pitfall for the rising Kingpin. Wilson on the other hand, is being cautioned from Madame Gao about his priorities, and the fate that he chooses if he should keep Vanessa by his side. These circumstances are exacerbated as Vanessa sips from a glass of poisoned champagne. The safest place would be by the Fisk’s side, ugh. Please please please, keep Vanessa alive, she is amazing, and Wilson and she are an amazing power couple. Though, I am morbidly curious to see how Wilson would react if she died.
One of the things people always mention when describing Daredevil as a character is the conflicting ideals within him; lawyer/vigilante, Catholic/fighter, right/wrong. The ninth episode of Daredevil has Matt dealing especially with the repercussions of his most recent actions. He knows that he must face Fisk, and should he do so, he will kill him. As he visits the Catholic Church, Matt looks for guidance about what to do and ultimately the need for revenge wins out, putting him in the position of judge, jury, and executioner.
We know right from the beginning that Matt falls into a trap set by Fisk. We know that by the end he will have faced Nobu, the most challenging fight we’ve seen yet. And we know that things will end very, very badly. As soon as Matt, Foggy, and Karen let Mrs. Cardenas leave, I knew she was a goner. In my heart I didn’t want it to happen because dammit, I liked her, but something drastic had to occur to bait the man in the black mask and boy if Fisk didn’t bait that hook with a juicy worm.
However, by far the most tense scene of the episode is when Wilson Fisk and Matt Murdock finally meet. Matt is now aware of who Fisk is, but Fisk is none the wiser, and much like Karen, I find myself watching Fisk and thinking how likable he is, especially with Vanessa. He has the socially awkward persona down pat, and that in a way, makes him seem less dangerous. At least to those who are unaware of his record with car doors and Russians.
Angered at Fisk’s response to the death of Mrs. Cardenas, Matt charges in head first to the trap we’ve seen cut into scenes from the beginning of the episode. The man in the black mask wins, but by a thread, and then Fisk showed up to wreck up the joint. I wonder why in this moment Fisk didn’t rip off the mask, reveal the coward he’s publicly denounced and ruin his life right there? Ah, but he didn’t, and Daredevil got away, again, only to be found bleeding out by a horrified Foggy.
Foggy deserves better.
I’m just going to go ahead and say that this was my favorite episode of the series. There’s nothing I love more than a well-developed villain and Fisk, my friends? He is that villain. After spending seven episodes focusing on Matt Murdock’s history, we learn more about Wilson Fisk. Fisk is a man of quiet routine, but as we saw in the fourth episode, bubbling just under his skin is an animal just begging to be released. In “Shadows in the Glass” we start to learn why.
Fisk is haunted by his younger self. Chubby and bullied, Fisk is told by father to take what he wants in this world. When facing a bully, Fisk’s father, Bill, beats the other kid to the ground and then tells Fisk to “keep kicking.” A message Fisk eerily repeats after bashing in his father’s skull with a hammer in order to protect his mother from Bill’s constant abuse.
The eighth episode is a much quieter one, which sounds odd considering a boy murders his father and then his mother cuts him up and dumps him in the river. But it is. It’s focus is more on the silent moments, the looks shared by Fisk and Vanessa as he tells her about his past. And we start to understand why he bought the Rabbit in a Snowstorm painting–because it looked exactly like the plastered wall he was forced to stare at while his father beat his mother. That image is a haunting reminder of the horrors he’s faced and the rage he needs to maintain as a leader.
But Vanessa sees past all that, taking his hand and helping through subtle changes like the suit jacket and cuff links. I shouldn’t root for their relationship. My mind tells me that it’s insane to want good things for an insane man like Fisk, but then I see the way he looks at Vanessa with such vulnerability and she takes his hand, I melt. There, I said it. I’m shipping it.
The seventh episode of Daredevil answers the question, “How did Matt Murdock learn to fight?” And that answer is Stick, an old blind man with a bad attitude, who then comes back into Matt’s life without warning. Through flashbacks we learn that Stick approached Matt while he was in the orphanage, still struggling with the improvement in his senses. Stick has a no bullshit persona and even though Matt is a blind orphan, the old man shows him exactly zero sympathy. (I’m told he’s actually nicer in the show than in the comics.)
Stick shows up because he begrudgingly needs Matt’s help with stopping a weapon called Black Sky. Only, it’s not a weapon. It’s a child, and a line Matt refuses to cross. He delays Stick from killing the child, but ultimately fails. Back in Matt’s apartment, the pair fights, and ends with Stick saying, “I wanted a soldier and you wanted a father. Guess we were both left disappointed.”
It was nice seeing the dichotomy between Matt’s father Jack and Stick, and the influence both had over him. Being a boxer, you would expect Jack to teach Matt to fight, but instead it’s the blind man. However, compared to the two episodes that bookend this one, “Stick” just can’t compare.
Who was the mystery man that Stick was talking to at the end of the episode? Find out here.
Apparently, when Matt has to beat the absolute crap out of cops, they all conveniently happen to be corrupt as all hell. Needing information and unwilling to kill, Matt carries the only surviving head (pun intended) of the Russian mob to a condemned (double meaning!) building. Here, the brutal exchanges between Matt and Vladimir begin.
As the situation deteriorates around them, Matt and Vladimir spar about who they are, and what they are there for. Matt in particular is forced to come face to face with his reticence to kill. Vladimir goes after him viciously for his inability even to let him die, and how that is a weakness that Fisk will use over and over again. In a moment of vulnerability, Vladimir takes advantage and nearly gets them both killed sending them plummeting a few stories into the basement.
In the meantime, Fisk shows how ruthless he can be, ordering the deaths of several policemen, including the rookie in an incredibly painful and gruesome way. Vladimir, slowly realizing that the man in the mask didn’t actually kill his brother, tells him that he will need to be able to kill if he wants to bring down Fisk, that once he entered this arena, he was no longer a man, but an animal, and they will do anything to survive.
I think that this was the most contained episode so far. In terms of location and time-span, it almost seemed like it was a play on stage. Because of this, in terms of the plot, there wasn’t a huge amount of advancement, but the episode is so key because it gets us into the mind of both Murdock and Fisk, using Vladimir as a catalyst to let us see what makes them both tick.
The pacing of this series is just excellent, as we finally see Fisk and Murdock exchange words, and while they don’t realize it, they expose us to the fact that they’re really just two sides of the same coin. What will be exciting is to see how alike the two of them actually become and how close Matt will come to crossing that line.
WARNING: Spoilers through Outlander’s tenth episode.
Is it hot in here? Phew. I’m hot. I’ll just turn up the AC while we talk about the first few minutes of Outlander’s tenth episode, “By the Pricking of My Own Thumbs.” Right off the bat we’re treated to to the reason why 90% of viewers tune in: the “romance.” After last week’s rough episode, it is nice to see the tender moments between Claire and Jamie, especially since we so rarely get to see a woman pleasured on screen. But that’s a discussion for another time.
Despite the introduction, this isn’t an episode which focuses on the pair’s relationship. Instead, it sees them spending most of the hour apart, each showing strength in their own ways. It’s another solid episode for Outlander now that the plot has moved along from the first few episodes of last season. It also helps that the writing has been significantly streamlined from the book and we aren’t treated to a history lesson every ten pages.
After watching the episode, I only had one concern: where is Frank Randall? I understand that Jamie and Claire are the focus now, but surely after hearing his voice at Craigh na Dun she’s thought of him. Besides, Show Frank is SO much more interesting and likable than Book Frank.
On to the smut. After a steamy (and sweet) moment between Jamie and Claire, Murtagh interrupts with news about the Duke of Sandringham’s arrival. (Seriously man, did you not hear her? Give the two a moment.) The Duke of Sandringham is a name we’ve heard throughout the series, and we know he holds power, especially for Jamie. The joy in his voice when he tells Claire that he might finally be pardoned and she could be his Lady of Lallybroch reminds me that Jamie is so much younger than Claire. He isn’t naive to the ways of the world, and he’s strong, but he holds his elders in such high regard that it never crosses his mind they might not be honorable. Claire, on the other hand, doesn’t have such notions about these men, nor does she have issue with standing up to them–which is why she ends up forcing his hand into accepting Jamie’s offer.
Last week I wondered how things with 16-year-old Laoghaire might turn out since Jamie didn’t exactly turn her away. I mean, he just kind of stood there while she made him grope her breasts. Okay, he basically gave her the go ahead to get crazy and start claiming him as her own. “I love Claire. Sorry.” WAS THAT SO HARD, JAMIE? I actually feel bad for the young girl but that sympathy only goes so far because as we’ll see by the end of the episode, Jamie’s stupidity where women are concerned has disastrous consequences.
Claire spends much of the episode curb-stomping people into submission and I cannot help but fist bump her strength. Let’s sum up her victories during the episode: making the Duke cry, peeing on Jamie to exhibit her ownership to Laoghaire, telling BFF Geillis that killing husbands ain’t kosher, drugging Dougal, and telling Jamie that people be crazy for believing in changelings. I know I say this every time I talk about the show but I cannot express enough how much I love Catriona Balfe’s portayal of Claire.
Thanks to my girl Claire, the Duke of Sandringham agrees to hear about the injustice against Jamie. However, in order to assure the Duke’s approval of Jamie’s grievances against Black Jack Randall, Jamie must stand as his second in a duel. The gun fight goes off without consequence but the subsequent slew of insults between MacKenzie and MacDonald clans leads to a sword fight where Jamie is stabbed and the Duke hilariously begs him not to tell Claire he was not responsible. I only assume it’s because he doesn’t want his title stripped.
Elsewhere, Geillis Duncan performs a naked ritual and has grand delusions about her love toward Dougal MacKenzie. Despite Claire’s protests to not do anything hasty, Geillis chuckles and says, “Girl, I do what I want.” As I’ve already spoiled because I have no concept of an outline, both Dougal’s wife and Geillis’ husband journey to that big kilt in the sky and no one has any idea how such a thing could have occurred.
Because of Dougal’s drunken outburst and tryst with Geillis Duncan, and Jamie’s fight with the rival clan, Colum orders the two away from Castle Leoch. They whine, “But Daaaad…” and he won’t have any of it. As Jamie is making out with Claire leaving, he warns Claire to stay away from Geillis Duncan, knowing her part in all of this Real Housewives of Castle Leoch drama. Claire continues making out agrees and this moment is vaguely like the one when Jamie tells her to stay put and while I want to be all girl power, in this situation, I kind of just want to yell at Claire to listen to her husband. Naturally, the FIRST thing Claire does is respond to a note from Geillis, telling her to come quick, and the 12-year-old in me giggles. After arriving at Geillis’ home, Claire soon realizes both she and Geillis have been set up, but Geillis being intelligent is like, “Pssshhhh” and lets the guards inside. They arrest Geillis, claiming her to be a witch, and then arrest Claire just because she’s there. No word on the Duncan’s servant girl. I assume she bribed the guards.
Now a criminal, Claire mentally curses Jamie because really, by now, he should know not to leave her alone. However, upon seeing the person responsible for her imprisonment, Claire reconsiders it might be good for Jamie to not be around when she tears off the young girl’s face.
Outlander airs Saturdays on Starz at 9pm EST.
This post contains spoilers for the first season of Marvel’s Daredevil
One of the best episodes in the Netflix series Daredevil was Episode 7, “Stick”, named after the blind mentor that trained young Matt Murdock how to fight and best use his senses. Of course, with one of the best episodes comes one of the biggest questions. At the tail end of the episode, Stick is seen reporting to a hulking figure asking if Matt will be ready “when the doors open.” Exactly who was Stick talking to at the end of the episode? Let’s see if we can find out.
The Answer (or what I think is the answer):
Update 1: Upon viewing the credits (which Netflix happens to minimize for you) it was revealed the character is actually Stone played by Jason Finney. You can read more about Stone below in the original post. – Editor-in-Chief, Bilal Mian
Update 2: I’ll be the first to admit that I was wrong. Stupid credits, lol. HOWEVER, I still assert that Madame Gao is from K’un L’un. – Terence
Stone is another leader of the Chaste usually depicted in the comics as the second-in-command to Stick. Stone has extensive training in the martial arts. His core power and his namesake is his ability to become impervious to nearly any attack, as long as he is aware of the incoming threat. This makes his mastery of his senses even more important.
Original Post as follows:
Lei-Kung the Thunderer. Not Stone, who most people are saying.
The Evidence:
One of the biggest misconceptions is about Nobu. If you’ll notice, the Yakuza are mentioned multiple times as the employer for Nobu. However, all of those times that the Yakuza are mentioned, it’s NEVER by anyone in the know. Matt, Karen, and even Ben constantly refer to the Japanese presence as Yakuza, but Fisk, Owlsley and Madame Gao not once speak of Nobu as Yakuza, they simply refer to Nobu and his people as “the Japanese”. Add some mentions of “Nobu and his clan” we can only come up with one answer.
Nobu is part of The Hand.
The Hand is a shadow ninja clan who will become one of the Daredevil’s greatest adversaries. Add in the mention of “the Greek girl” who was in Matt’s Spanish class in college (Elektra Natchios, one of the most iconic characters in Daredevil) and it’s all but confirmed that Nobu and his red ninja outfit are the Hand.
Which of course, according to comic lore, makes Stick part of “The Chaste”, an organization of warriors (a term Stick uses when talking to Matt) dedicated to stopping the Hand and their attempts to take over the world. Most people will answer that Stone is the mysterious figure that Stick is talking to, as Stone is Stick’s ally in the Chaste. However, in the comics, Stick is the leader of the Chaste, it makes no sense that he would be reporting to Stone, unless Marvel is taking some liberties in the cinematic universe which they often do, but a better answer lies ahead.
Madame Gao is the mysterious figure who operates the Chinese arm of Fisk’s criminal empire. Everyone, good and bad, assumes that she’s part of the Triad. However, she alludes to the fact multiple times that she is in fact even older than she looks. When she speaks to Matt about why her workers blinded themselves, she speaks of them having faith in a greater power. Lastly, when she speaks to Owlsley about returning home, he asks if she’s going to China, and she replies that she’s going even further. China is pretty much the furthest you can be away from New York, which leads me to one conclusion.
Madame Gao is an immortal citizen of K’un L’un.
K’un L’un is the mystical city where Danny Rand is taken in after he is orphaned. He is trained in the martial arts under Lei-Kung the Thunderer, the leader of the army in the city. You may know Danny Rand by another name, the Immortal Iron Fist. Look at the marking on Gao’s packets of heroin. Does it remind you of anything else? Oh yeah, the chi marking of the Dragon Shou-Lao the Undying, Guardian of K’un L’un, and the mark of the IRON FIST.
The gates between K’un L’un and our world open once every decade. This makes the perfect opportunity for Madame Gao to make her journey back home, and when the mysterious figure with the scars on his back asks if Murdock will be “ready when the doors open” what do you think that can possibly mean?
Does this mean that the mystical realm of K’un L’un will stand in for The Chaste in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? This writer definitely thinks so, and if it does, I believe that it will serve as an amazing way to tie together the mythology of the street level heroes and the mysticism of Iron Fist. It would make perfect sense that Stick is reporting to Lei-Kung if he is the head of the forces of K’un L’un, readying our realm and standing by to throw back the forces of the Hand instead of The Chaste.
What do you guys think?
12 Monkeys
Season 1, Episode 13 – “Arms of Mine”
Air Date: April 9, 2015
Grade: A-
We’ve made it to the season finale of “12 Monkeys” and it’s been one crazy ride full of unexpected twists and turns. It all culminates to a Cole and Ramse showdown, potentially changing the course of both their fates.
While throughout the series Cassie has been set up as our heroine who makes the moral choices, in this episode we finally see her dark side. Early in “Arms of Mine,” Cole is beating the crap out of Aaron for information on the Army of the 12 Monkeys when the virologist enters the room and condones the torture. They find out though that Aaron doesn’t know much, only that they (Cassie and him sans Cole) can weather out the plague because there was no way to stop it. He didn’t know who Ramse was, only that the woman (Olivia) was his contact and that they were preparing for the coming of the twelve. He tells them of the facility in Colorado and that the woman was one of Markridge’s key investors.
Just as Cassie and Cole are discussing their next move, Aaron breaks free and makes a run for it. The two men grapple and fight in a room filled with various industrial solvents. Aaron uses makeshift torch and Cole’s jacket catches on fire. The two continue their tussle but Aaron gets trapped underneath a shelf as the whole room is engulfed in flames. Cassie runs in and tries to help her ex-boyfriend but Cole stops her, saying that they had to get out of there. The two leave a screaming Aaron, but I’m sure this won’t be the last we’ll see of him.
Cassie pushes her grief down and gets to their next task, figuring out a way to get into Markridge to find out about Olivia. It’s easier for her this way of course because Aaron wasn’t all bad, he just made poor choices after realizing that he was loosing his lady love to Cole and the mission to save humanity. After some Internet searching, Cassie pulls up an article showing Jennifer as Markridge’s new CEO. The two head to a private Markridge stockholders event hoping to see Ms. Goines privately.
They manage to get Jennifer alone in a room and the former mental patient is none too happy to see Cassie, her infatuation with Cole still going strong. In a completely uncharacteristic move, Dr. Railly slaps the new Markridge chief and tells the other woman that she doesn’t have time for her crap. Jennifer sobers up and tells them about Ethan Seki, a genius venture capitalist and none other than Ramse. She goes on to say that he’s been obsessed with a government project in the Raritan Valley National Laboratory. This of course is the future location of Project Splinter. Once the duo leave, Jennifer is on the phone with presumably Olivia, letting her know that it’s done.
We shift gears and find out what Ramse’s other goal had been all these years. He funded research at Raritan so that he could one day use the machine himself and go back to the future and be with his son. A goon accompanies Ramse to the lab and there he meets the project’s director and Katarina’s ex-husband, Dr. Elliot Jones. Turns out that he was the one sending vines to the future as a means of testing out the time machine! Well that is one mystery solved. Ramse has arranged to be get some private time with the device in order to send himself back to his original time.
Cassie and Cole get into Raritan through the exhaust tunnels and separate. Cassie ends up going into a room filled with the red vines and she begins to hear Olivia’s hypnotic voice again, telling her that she’s walking through a red forest. This is definitely strange though because the vines that Elliot was sending to the future was green, so where did these red ones come from?
Cole manages to get to the machine room as Ramse is making final calibrations. The other man is completely surprised to see his ex-best friend alive. Ramse explains that he’s here to return to the future and Cole is still aghast that he would kill billions of people to save just one person. Ramse begs to differ, saying that Cole was coming back to the past was to save Cassie. Touche. This has been a recurring theme throughout the entire season and it’s been great television to see how each character has acted when faced with this decision.
Dr. Railly appears then and we have a Mexican standoff with the goon pointing his gun at Cassie, Cole’s hovering between Ramse and the goon, and Cassie’s dead set on Ramse. This has to be my favorite scene in the episode because Cassie confronts Ramse about killing billions of people while Cole is actually defending his ex-bff, not wanting her to shoot him. He’s caught in a weird situation where he understands the other man’s motivation but obviously still cares for him. In an unexpected move, Cassie’s expression changes as she says, “He’s made his choice,” and then pulls the trigger. She then gets shot by the goon and whom Cole shoots after. What a mess!
Ramse tells Cole to send Cassie to Jones, knowing full well that if he still went the physicist wouldn’t help him anyways. Oh Ramse, my heart goes out to you for sacrificing seeing your kid to help a former friend out. We see a glimmer of how things used to be between the two men and not gonna lie it’s kind of awesome. Cole injects Cassie with the serum and soon she disappears into the future.
We change scenes to Olivia who’s at the 12 Monkey’s secret lair. Here we finally meet “the 12” and they turn out to be 12 healthy babies. Olivia wears the expression of a joyful mother as she gazes on them, which in this situation only lends to her creepiness. Of course she has more cryptic things to say like, “At last the new cycle has begun.” The other man with her comments that in 28 years they’ll be ready, which makes us believe that they could be the hooded brotherhood in 2043. Then she goes on to explains that The Witness had forseen this. Uhhhhhh WHAT?!?!?! Great, that means Ramse is not The Witness after all. Not cool guys, not cool. While Olivia is waxing on about how history will find Ethan Seki dead at the accelerator he helped financed and that his cycle has ended, bless Cole for having other plans. We see him coming back in and taking Ramse with him.
Jumping to 2043, the vines keep appearing on the accelerator chair and it continues to baffle Jones. She doesn’t believe that it’s an anomaly and there has to be some reason why it keeps appearing. Whitley is back as well asks her why they are still there if the mission is truly over. Jones though finds it difficult to just abandon her life’s work. Outside the facility, Deacon is with the new group plotting their assault. They get help form one of the former Spearhead scientists who wants Jones to pay for what she did. The invaders use dozens of bats attracted to the vibration of Project Splinter’s core and the animals end up being smashed into the cooling vents, overheating the machine. It shuts down all the power and Deacon and the others enter via the same exhaust tunnels that Cassie and Cole went through in 2015.
Inside Raritan, Jones takes out a set of explosives and attaches it to the machine. When Deacon and the hooded brotherhood enter the accelerator room, the German doctor tells them that she’s ready to blow the machine up unless they let the others go peacefully. Their leader agrees and as Whitley leaves, Jones hands over the bomb trigger. As Deacon is escorting her to a cell, Cassie materializes and shocks the bejeebus out of everyone.
But what would a season finale be without a tantalizing cliffhanger? And for that we get the last scene showing Jennifer inside a private plane while cargo is being loaded and Olivia’s voice over saying that the release of the virus is out of their hands, exactly as it should be. Ms. Goines is traveling around the world for the next six months to finish some “work.” Has Olivia convinced her that releasing the virus is meant to undo all the damage that her father (and other men) have done to the world? In the end is she truly responsible for starting the plague? Ahh!! We’ll have to wait until next season to find out.
It has been an absolute treat to be shocked week after week by the characters and storyline of “12 Monkeys.” Just when you think you know what’s going on, another element is introduced and you’re left brooding on new questions and wondering where exactly is everything headed next? It’s the uncertainty that keeps fans hooked and a great accomplishment for the whole team behind “12 Monkeys” to have achieved that because addictive TV shows happen so rarely. The show has certainly surpassed my expectations and has delivered a sci-fi mystery that explores various tropes in a fresh way.
So thanks Syfy for renewing the series for a season two, you made the right choice. Till then we’ll be coming up with our own conspiracy theories on whether or not Aaron, Ramse, or Cassie survive, what exactly the 12 newborns are going to do, who the real Witness is, whether Jennifer is really going to release the virus, why Ramse, Pallid Man, and Olivia don’t age, and most importantly if Cole and Ramse make up. Phew.
Best-unexpected moments:
Best lines of the episode:
Aaron: You destroyed everything in my life. You’re no savior Cole, you’re just a savage.
Cole: You wanna know what makes a savage? Seeing shit that no kid should ever see and then doing the same thing to survive. I was just a boy watching the world die alone. Now I know who I have to thank for that.
*****
Cole: They love her.
Cassie: Looks like she finally got the dosage right on those meds.
*****
Elliot: We’ve achieved temporal displacement and found a way to make it incredibly boring.
*****
Ramse: Without me coming here it would never have happened. Jones didn’t even want me there in 2043 and it was mine. Easy. It took time travel to create time travel. That’s how it works. There are no straight lines.
“12 Monkeys” airs Fridays 9/8 central on Syfy.
Follow Nicole on Twitter: @niixc.
Images courtesy of Syfy.
Warning: This interview contains spoilers for the April 9 episode of “Dig.”
If USA’s event series “Dig” seems like the perfect blend of political intrigue, character-driven mystery and high-octane adventure, it should. The ambitious 10-episode project comes from “Homeland” producer Gideon Raff and “Heroes” creator Tim Kring, setting forth a complex, multigenre narrative that spans continents and cultures to explore the deep-rooted rituals of Middle East religion and present-day stateside cults.
Actress Alison Sudol portrays young, idealistic archaeologist Emma Wilson, whose apparent murder in the pilot kicks off an investigation into international conspiracy and ancient prophecy that could potentially alter the course of human history. Thursday night’s game-changing twist revealed Emma is actually alive, however, making her role in the series and its complicated framework all the more crucial.
The Workprint spoke with Sudol about her character’s evolution on and off-screen, and how this epiphany will send the remaining four episodes into excavation overdrive.
WP: Early reviews made direct reference to your character being the anchor and, in a lot of ways, the most compelling aspect of the show. You’re the missing link of sorts to connect the three main storylines — between what’s happening in Jerusalem, what’s happening with the compound in New Mexico and what’s happening with the red calf. Now, along with the symbol that was discovered in Emma’s journal in episode five, everything is really starting to come together after a slow burn. I know I was disappointed to see her get killed off, at least deceptively, at the end of the pilot. Although things have been progressing without you, you’ve still been a presence on the show.
All that being said, it’s a major surprise to see Emma resurface for the second half of the series. How is she going to continue serving the same purpose with this revelation happening? From what we saw at the end of episode six, she’s clearly terrified and has been through a lot. She’s lost that effervescent whimsy that she had in the pilot. Are you changing your approach to the character as she moves forward?
Sudol: As a person, you can’t endure something that’s as shocking as what she’s gone through – which we’ll find out more about in coming episodes – and not have it affect you. I think that there’s a pretty serious depth to it that affects her. What would be the way to describe it? Her effervescence, as you said?
WP: Sure. For lack of a better term, she’s kind of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl in the pilot, and she’s not really able to embody that after the trauma we don’t know about yet. Clearly, though, things have shifted for her.
Sudol: Yeah. But at the same time, at her core she’s a fighter. Even from this terrible situation that she’s been in, she’s managed to get herself out. She has a pretty powerful life force. So, a little bit of her whimsy maybe has shifted into something more focused. I guess it’s a bit darker. But there’s still something to her. There’s still that sense of mystery. It’s just evolved. I think that’s a large part of what makes her interesting as a character, and what she brings out in Peter [co-star Jason Isaac] as well.
WP: For the most part, from episodes two through five, Emma’s been a symbol. But now she’s back in the flesh and you said she has a bit more focus. So now that she’s able to be a living person and contribute to the narrative in a more direct way, she’s going to have an even stronger presence on the show in that sense. Were you able to look at her from a different perspective? As an actor, you typically construct your own character history before you enter production, but in this case Emma’s backstory was constructed for you while she was presumed dead.
Sudol: There’s definitely a lot under the surface that I had to delve into in order to give her a realistic and living, breathing portrayal. I mean, it can’t just be flat. But, it’s definitely abstract because I was aware since the beginning that there are things about her that were even obscured from me. I had to leave room for that. What it gave me was a mystery about her for myself that I think gives an interesting feeling to the character. She’s a mystery to me. [laughs]. As people, we don’t always know what happened that makes us act in certain ways. Things happen in childhood that can completely shape the way we think and feel that maybe we don’t even recall anymore. But they are a part of us and they come alive in certain situations, and I think that’s how I approached [Emma] – like there’s a deep, subconscious well underneath her actions that I knew I would be able to see into at some point, and that’s what drove me, to get to that place and to uncover the answers.
WP: What parallels do you see between Emma and Lauren Ambrose’s character [Debbie, the escaped cult member in New Mexico]? They kind of seem to be each other’s antithesis. Emma is this ambitious free spirit. She’s very inquisitive, and she is the digger of the show, literally and figuratively, whereas [Debbie] willfully entered this very oppressive cult and suddenly realizes there’s a life to be lived and she’d been confined to a way of life and a way of thinking she really doesn’t even want to be a part of. These two female characters are really the strongest ones on the show, and their trajectories could really align well with each other despite the different paths they’re on.
Sudol: I think there are parallels between quite a lot of the characters and elements in the show, and that’s something we get a stronger sense of the more we go along. I mean, there are also parallels between colors – red is a very strong color in the show, and there’s certain red elements that correlate with each other. There’s just a lot at this point. We’re pretty much in the middle of the show, and the last episodes are so jam-packed with crazy amounts of information unfolding. I think you’ll see a lot more parallels and also a lot of paths kind of leading to the same point. It’ll make a lot more sense.
WP: It seems like a foundation has been laid, so to speak, in these first few episodes. We’ve been digging, as viewers, into the story and we’ve reached this point where we’ve really discovered something and there’s been an excavation going on. So I’m gathering that the pace might really kick into high gear after this, with the discovery that Emma’s alive?
Sudol: It does. It really does. It’s kind of like going into warp drive. [laughs]
WP: “Dig” is quite the ambitious project. As has been said, it’s a conspiracy 2,000 years in the making, and it’s being touted as a truly multi-layered experience. Was it intimidating to face such a high-concept show, and how did you respond to the material?
Sudol: I think the fact that there is so much depth to the material and that it is as ambitious as it is what was exciting to me. It’s bold, and it’s meant to give you far more questions than it gives you answers – at least for a while. That’s something I find compelling even though, as human beings, we always want to know immediately.
WP: Yes. We’re in an instant gratification kind of culture right now, for sure.
Sudol: Absolutely! We want an answer on Google within seconds, and if we’re not in good service and it takes, like, 45 seconds to get an answer we’re all, “This is ridiculous!” [laughs] We want internet on our airplanes. So, I think the fact that you have to be patient and you have to put things together and you might have to watch episodes more than once to actually get the clues that you need, those are all things that I’ve found to be kind of the opposite – it’s not that they’re not intimidating, but they made me more interested in actually creating this character and being part of the show. Easy things don’t usually set me alight. What could I learn from that?
WP: You actually touched upon something I was going to ask about next. Jason Isaacs has teased about this shocking revelation that’s coming up, and said viewers might want to revisit previous episodes after learning Emma’s fate. Do you think the show would play differently in retrospect after finding out Emma’s alive?
Sudol: Definitely. Because I know and I’ve known for such a long time, it’s interesting. I’ve had a different perspective on it, but I’ve tried to watch the episodes…[pause]
WP: As objectively as you can, anyway.
Sudol: Yeah, while not carrying that information with me as much as possible. I can see how you could miss things if you’re not really aware enough of how much you should be paying attention to the details. I can see how certain things would just fly by. You see a symbol somewhere, but it’s only a flash and you need to pay attention to where that flash was, or, something in Emma’s journal. These are things that her being alive definitely affects what they mean.
WP: Right. So, touching on that, “Dig” comes from the creators of “Heroes” and “Homeland,” and, like “Heroes” especially, begs the same type of viewing experience where, as a viewer, you really want to try and analyze every possible foreshadowing element or potential symbol. Do you think viewers could respond to it in that way where they’re almost, like a show like “Lost” did, creating their own culture, their own tangential, alternate universe of sorts?
Sudol: Certainly. I do think that is that strength in this second half of the season because after Emma comes back, a lot of things start coming together, and that’s when really big questions start coming to the forefront. That’s definitely been happening throughout the whole first half, but now the real discussions and debates will come because the backstory will start connecting with the present story in a clearer way, but there will still be pretty significant chunks there to argue with your friends about. [laughs] That’s kind of the intent of the show, to get people talking. An exciting part of any project is having people want to find out answers on their own. There’s a whole online thing on Dig Decoded that provides all kinds of backstory there and that’s meant for that exact purpose, for people to play detective on their own. This story needs all the help it can get, because it’s complex. The more that the viewer finds out for us, the better the show will unfold.
What will “Dig” uncover next? Find out Thursday nights at 10/9c on USA.
Follow Erin on Twitter: @ErinBiglow
The thing I like most about Daredevil is that it doesn’t hold back. Five episodes in and we’re just as gritty, sexual, dark and fun as we were in episode one – possibly even moreso.
Although this wasn’t the sole focus of the episode, I couldn’t help but fixate on the growing relationship between Matt and Claire and what a damn relationship it is. Truly, chemistry between Charlie Cox and Rosario Dawson continues to astound me. It defines the show, in a way, and has the Marvel touch of two people who just work together, whose relationship doesn’t feel forced. We tend to take that for granted in today’s television shows, but specifically in the Marvel world. When the two have it out over how Claire can’t fall in love with Charlie because of the nature of his work and the person he’s becoming by focusing so much on his quest, it hits you where it hurts. I love that we get these emotions.
There’s a decent amount of action and exposition in this episode, which is a nice balance after episode four’s overly action filled hour. We get the small moments of Karen and Foggy (who are building up chemistry of their own in a great way), the bonding with Claire, and of course, the conflict with Kingpin. While Claire tells Matt she heard a name – Vladimir — Kingpin holds a meeting of his own. The intensity between these characters is what cements this show more than anything else, with a less competent cast, Daredevil wouldn’t be nearly as interesting. And Vincent D’Onofrio is absolutely nailing it with this role, bringing his manipulative, quiet attitude to a character that really is so much rooted in his emotions. But the fight scenes continue to be brutal and real, the violence continues to be gritty and dark, and it really adds to the whole atmosphere of the show as a whole. Blow up a whole apartment? Almost kill people? It happens, and it happens in a way that makes you realize you’re not watching a PG show.
Charlie takes a meeting at the office with a client who is overly upset about her building being turned into condominiums. Foggy attempts to reason with her and you can almost see good guy Charlie trying to control himself. He’s a vigilante at its finest, a superhero that you want to be – the person that will fight for good and wants to help everyone, but genuinely cares about the well-being of the people in his life and doesn’t do it for selfish reasons. But I also love what the show is doing in terms of focusing on Charlie’s as it relate to how heightened they are. When he’s listening to the interrogation at jail, we’re drawn in by Matt’s emotions, even though there’s not a lot of focus on Charlie’s face. But we see his reaction when the gunshot happens, when the attack comes, and in that moment, we get so much from his character.
And Foggy. Can we get a moment of applause for Foggy? When he’s standing up for himself, we really see his character start to shine. Even Karen is impressed. He’s been a real standout in the past few episodes and he’s starting to stand on his own two feet, and I guarantee by the end he’ll be more fully fleshed out than some people are in 22 episodes of television.
In the first half of its run, Daredevil has cemented itself as one of Marvel’s biggest hits – visually, storytelling wise, and character wise. And we’re only getting started.
When I first started reading comics, there were occasions where I’d mix up proper reading order. This led to flipping through issues that didn’t make a lick of sense to me, and only upon backtracking did my questions get answered – Jeopardy style. Well, that happened again. Through some unknown error that I can only blame on my own stupidity (Ed. Note: I blame Bilal), my pilot to this amazing series was, in fact, episode four. Needless to say, my view of the show is, shall we say, warped. Due to this chapter being so action packed I fear that I’m spoiled as a result. Since learning of my mistake, I’ve gone back and re-watched the first four episodes in their proper order, trying to condition my brain to see the series as it was intended. However I’m too far gone; this episode has such impactful moments that I don’t think my first impression can be unlearned.
This error means my opening didn’t start with the pivotal chemical spill, but with Vladimir and Anatoly fashioning shivs from ribs. An odd opening, but not a bad first impression; it certainly conveyed the series’ tone. The rest of the story unfolded like an episode of The Wire, as characters interacted with each other like I should already know what they were talking about; I loved it. I figured we were picking up the series in extreme medias res, and that the subsequent episodes “Cut Man” and “Rabbit in a Snow Storm” (yes, I oddly got back on track) were flashbacks meant to enlighten us to how Wilson Fisk started a gang war.
Hey, it made sense at the time. Open with a bang, and this episode did exactly that. Full of everything fans waiting for this series could ask for: the aforementioned rib usage, a slight Avengers reference, an appropriate amount of Foggy, and of course Matt and the Kingpin being ruthless in their own special ways.
For you readers who watched the episodes in their correct order (which I’m assuming is all of you) and patiently waited to see Mr. Fis- err, “Wesley’s employer”, I can only imagine the impact Vincent D’Onofrio’s chilling portrayal of the Kingpin had on you. His quavering whisper-speak as he courts Vanessa is chilling. When she evades his request for a second date, I wondered if he was about to kill her right then and there. Thankfully (for her) he does not; focusing his anger on poor, level-headed Anatoly, who after tarnishing Wilson’s image, doesn’t fare nearly as well. Though Fisk’s reaction is extreme, it stems from an emotion we can identify with: embarrassment. As he recounts his childhood to Vanessa, we see a sympathetic vulnerability. These emotions make him the most real villain in the Marvel universe; they humanize him . Sure, most – if not all – of the other Marvel villains are everything but human, but you get my drift. We see the cracks and identify with him; heck, I even like him.
On the lighter side of the moral gray spectrum these character inhabit is Matthew rescuing Claire from a brutal interrogation. We don’t actually see her getting hit, but the baseball bat combined with her bloodied body and Rosario Dawson’s stellar acting, are all we need. It’s an example of how this show is graphic without being overtly so. As Matt proceeds to dismantle the thugs with stealth and terror, it isn’t hard to see why we compare him to Batman. The origins, mortality, and flexible – yet rigid – morality, all lend themselves to an easy comparison of the two. The fight scene in the dispatch garage isn’t going to make avoiding that comparison any easier. It’s exactly like the shipyard scene in Batman Begins! People can say that in a positive or negative tone, but as a Batman fan as well, I choose the former. Compared to the violent fights in the bowling alley or shipping yard, we don’t actually see that much violence but the effect is felt. It’s another example of how this series toes the line of being violent without being gratuitous. (If they “turned it up to 11” a hopeful Punisher series would have nowhere to go.)
Realism has been one of the main endorsements to this series. Aesthetically, the sets, combat, and muted color palette, were my first impressions of this. Perhaps the truest aspect of this authenticity is its multicultural cast and the sustained use of subtitles. These choices validate the metropolitan quality of Daredevil’s world. Casting Black, Hispanic, and Asian actors just makes sense when recreating Hell’s Kitchen. By having theses characters speak Spanish, Russian, and Chinese (even if they aren’t subtitled) viewers are cognizant of the multicultural tapestry that makes up the neighborhood. Now, Hell’s Kitchen is on the rise as more high-end apartments pepper the neighborhood, but Daredevil corrupts this real-life gentrification by placing Wilson Fisk as the profiteer behind these shady white collar deals.
This episode exemplifies why the Kingpin and Daredevil are fan favorites; where Matt has a darkness to his good will, Wilson has an endearment to his brutality.
Don’t let your kids watch this series. This is not Captain America; this is not Starlord; this is not The Avengers. There is no good guy here. In those movies, there is good and evil. Good is exceptional, and the evil is fantastical. They talk about saving worlds, millions of lives, and even the universe. Loki is the big baddie in so many of Marvel’s movies, but he’s charming, witty, and theirs is a bit of incredulity to his evil.
The evil in Daredevil is not so unbelievable. Evil is rape, murder, child prostitution. This evil is made more real because we hear about horrors such as these day in and day out. The third episode of Marvel’s Daredevil opens on a brutal murder of a Russian crime boss in a bowling alley. There is an amusing bit on the reliance of new guns intercut between the gory and grisly execution of Prohaska, who is killed by a professional criminal named Mr. Healy to give his underworld empire to the Russian brothers under the guise of Veles taxi. The horrified shoe rental girl who returns to see the carnage at the alley calls the cops, only to have the murderer willingly give himself up to the police, setting up the entire episode.
We return to see Matt Murdock exhausted and somewhat defeated resting on a bench outside the church where he gave his confession in the first episode. The priest recognizes him as Jack Murdock’s son, and tries to get him to open up, saying that what is said in confession stays between them. Murdock questions the fairness behind this, and the morality of that silence. The line between justice and the rules is a theme that runs continuously through this episode, which is part of the strength of this hour.
Ben Urich is an interesting character. He’s at the fringe of the main plot but he always seems to be tugging at the right strings. He meets up with an old mob contact of his, and they discuss the old days, and what it meant decades ago to run crime in New York City. The old mob boss laments about the passing of decorum and codes. Urich knows something’s up, and his contact tells him to run, to give it up, because there is nothing but blood in the ledger. That feeling of dread, the presence of ‘him’ looms over the entire series. ‘He’ is everywhere without even having been in a single shot of the series so far.
The scenes in Nelson & Murdock are among my favorites in the series. The chemistry between Foggy, Matt, and Karen is palpable and it feels like there is a real camaraderie between them. However, I sincerely hope that they don’t make this a love triangle as Foggy is integral to Matt. Foggy is Matt’s conscience in many ways, and I hope they use that as a foundation for the series. Also, I dislike Karen Page in the comics, so making her likable on screen is no small feat.
The deceptively charming Wesley then stops by for a visit, representing Confederated Global Investments, and Foggy subsequently bumbles and blusters his way through their meeting, distracted by the dollar signs on the offered check. Matt, nonplussed, seeks to get to the bottom of who this man is and more importantly, who he is representing. Anyone can see that Wesley is not on the level, but the way that he does it, it feels like he’s a serpent wearing human skin, with a smile plastered on his face. Later, at the precinct, Foggy is visibly disturbed and shaken by Healy, who is blatantly using the technicalities of the judicial system to get away with premeditated murder. As Foggy is about to walk out, Matt swoops in and commits the firm to take the case, wanting to use Healy to gain insight on what’s to come to Hell’s Kitchen, despite Foggy’s pleas otherwise.
In another part of Hell’s Kitchen, Ben Urich is being told to stop his investigative reporting on the mob and focus on fluff pieces to drive up circulation. He laments this, but ultimately accepts, because his wife is in need of heavy hospital care and his job is the only way to pay for it. Later on in the episode, Karen is given, what is essentially, a legal bribe to keep quiet on the Union Allied affairs. Unable to soothe her conscience, she seeks out Daniel Fisher’s widow for closure, but finds none. Ultimately, she finds herself heading to Ben Urich for help.
The rest of the episode plays out like Law & Order: Hell’s Kitchen. When it comes to Daredevil, oftentimes the fact that Matt Murdock is a lawyer–and a damn good one–is overlooked. Seeing him in the courtroom and making an argument, albeit one that repulses him, shows off his acuity and legal knowledge. What he says about justice against the law is mirrored by the duality of his existence. Matt Murdock is ultimately an enforcer of justice, and he knows at times he is restricted by the law, therefore he willingly breaks it in order to right wrongs he cannot in the courtroom. As the lawyer, Matt learns the jury is being tampered with; as a masked vigilante, he beats enforcers into letting the blackmailed jurors go.
As the trial draws to a close, Matt predicts step by step what will happen and tells Foggy. There will be a hung jury, and the judge, somehow influenced, will not have the suspect tried again. Both Matt and Foggy know that perhaps the law was upheld, but justice was not served, something that Matt will remedy. As the court adjourns, Wesley assures Leland that everything will be fine, and that the reputation of Nelson & Murdock will be their shield.
Later that night, Matt tracks down Healy and the ensuing brawl is brutal. There is nothing super about Matt Murdock when he fights. He fights for his life, and every time, you wonder if he’s going to make it out whole. So far in the series, Healy is the most skilled fighter that he has ever dealt with, and the unrestrained, desperate nature of the fight shows that in spades. Matt, finally having the upper hand, gets two words out of Healy.
Wilson.
Fisk.
Upon uttering the words, Healy is broken, knowing that he not just only killed himself, but anyone that he’s ever cared about. Calling Murdock a coward for not killing him, he impales his head through the eye on a spiked fence. Maybe Matt Murdock was the lucky one for being blind because that image is forever burned in my memory.
And then finally, we see ‘him’. He who shall not be named. Vincent D’onfrio owns this role. When he is in a scene, he is suddenly the only thing that matters, and everything else is nothing. We find him in an art gallery, staring at a painting, when the curator tells him what art should do to a man. We see his face for a total of seven seconds, but his hulking presence, clad all in black, splashed against the stark white that will be his trademark, defines this episode. In a few minutes, we realize that as much as this series is about Daredevil, this series is also about Wilson Fisk, a villain who commands, who controls, and who is more cruelly intelligent than any comic book villain we’ve ever seen on screen.
Any man who must say “I am the king” is no true king.
Wilson Fisk, needs to say no such thing.
Enter the Kingpin.
This episode focuses on two things – well, actually, make that one thing: pain in its physical and emotional forms.
Like Matt’s confession in “Into the Ring”, “Cut Man” uses his injuries as a means to transition from the present to past. The confession, in which he reminisced about his father, provided clarity to the scene that preceded it, as it was the last time Matt saw his father. Similarly, this episode uses his injuries to bookend scenes which showcase key moments to understanding what molded Matt into the man we see becoming Daredevil.
In these flashbacks, his father is the constant. Skylar Gaertner and John Patrick Hayden do fantastic jobs creating a lovable bond between young Matt Murdock and his father, Jack. Their relationship isn’t overly saccharine, as tender bonding moments are balanced with routine surgeries. Additionally, without spending an inordinate amount of time on the issue, we’re made aware of Matt’s elevated hearing. A lost fight, mixed with a stack of cash and Jack’s disgust at the money, gives us more than enough information to realize he took a dive. At Fogwell’s gym, Jack’s conversation with Sully is relatively cordial, belying the threats laced within. Those who are familiar with Daredevil’s story, knew what these flashbacks were leading up to. Despite knowing the outcome, I was impressed by the death scene’s ability to elicit an emotion – something I don’t remember feeling in regards to the Waynes’ murder (to borrow from a similar alley death scene). As a whole, I find the flashback scenes help me understand Matt’s motivation in the present. The hate and anger he harbors about injustice is connected to his childhood. As a kid, he heard two mobsters telling his dad to throw a fight, his dad defies their wishes, and winds up dead.
As the flashbacks establish his character, the crux of the episode occurs in Claire’s apartment as she patches up Matt’s injuries–sustained from an unseen ambush the Russian’s staged in-between “Into the Ring” and the start of this episode. These scenes in her apartment further our understanding of his enhanced abilities while highlighting his mortality and tolerance to endure injury–an issue we rarely see in comic book fare. The consequences of what happens when Matt doesn’t perform at his very best immediately raises the stakes for the rest of the series. When they’re on Claire’s roof we see to what extent Matt will get his hands dirty. He possesses a moral line Frank Castle would cross, but he’ll also push you off a building without the courtesy of having Sam Wilson bring you back up.
For a change of pace between the flashbacks and events taking place at Claire’s apartment, we see Foggy comforting and flirting with Karen. These moments are necessary, to catch our collective breath, but I’m still on the fence about Elden Henson’s portrayal of Foggy. No doubt he brings a level of sincerity to the character’s heart, but at times his comedic delivery is grating. The best thing I can say is that my sentiment toward Elden is gentler than the feeling I have towards his illustrated counterpart.
True to form, this episode ends with a bang. Initially, I thought it was going to cut to the credits when Matt kicked in the first door, but boy, was I wrong. The kidnapped boy’s “Daddy” cry parallels the preceding scene where Matt discovers his own father. This memory sends him in a blind (sorry, I had to) rage, giving way to a fight scene that is executed with both authenticity and technical prowess, that leaves me slightly baffled. (Is it a steadicam? But, there’s that broken door. Is it a crane rig? But, I can see the ceiling. Most likely a blending of the two with some hidden cuts.) Either way, the scene is great, and lazy critics will compare it to Park Chan-wook’s “Oldboy”….and I will too! They both occur in (seemingly) one take and in keeping with the series’ grounded tone, as Matt hits his opponents, they don’t immediately go down. It also further typifies Claire’s comment about the amount of pain Matt can endure; something I’m sure we’ll see a lot more of.
There will be spoilers. For a more spoiler-free discussion, check out Bilal’s review of the first five episodes. Or if you’re interested in the comics, Terence has an excellent write-up on what you should read.
If you haven’t watched Marvel’s Daredevil, I’m here to tell you why you should at least put on the first episode (because then it’ll be the second and third and so on). If you have already binge-watched the series, high-five! Let’s have a chat.
Daredevil is the first of five planned Marvel shows on Netflix. It’ll be followed by A.K.A. Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and Iron Fist, all of which will then culminate into The Defenders. Because Daredevil is the first, there’s a lot of pressure on it to set the tone for each subsequent series. If Daredevil fails, the sentiment will likely trickle down to the subsequent series, leaving us all sad. Someone will then write an article about how Daredevil killed comic book shows and movies. Thankfully, Marvel’s Daredevil is fantastic, something apparent right from the beginning, and if someone decides to write that article anyway, we gather our pitchforks.
The first episode, “Into the Fire” begins with a glimpse into Matt Murdock’s (the titular Daredevil himself) life, or namely, the moment he became blind as a child. It’s a sad scene, sure, but the important part is that there isn’t a 30-minute history lesson. Small kid gets into an accident, goes blind, screams, end scene. Boom. Perfect. So many shows and movies feel the need to narrate the back story before actually getting to the heart of it all and that’s boring. Daredevil, on the other hand, seamlessly weaves in these flashbacks and is very careful not to linger too long in the past, because the exciting parts are in present Hell’s Kitchen.
And five minutes into the show, that’s exactly what we get to. I was worried when Marvel TV Chief Jeph Loeb announced that Daredevil would be more a crime drama than a superhero show. And while Loeb is correct in his assessment, there also isn’t a dearth of action. Right off the bat, Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox), clad in the black mask known from “A Man Without Fear,” puts a stop to human trafficking down at the docks with his bare hands. (An aside, terrible things always happen dockside. Why is there not better lighting or security to prevent such trouble?)
An established fighter Matt may be, but he is not quite there in terms of his career as a lawyer. In fact, much of the first episode follows this beginning arc and the inception of his firm, Nelson and Murdock. Matt and his best friend, Foggy Nelson (sweetly played by Elden Henson), fresh from law school are out to obtain an office, clients, and hopefully some money along the way. It’s a day and night (literally) shift from the horrors of the previous night, as Foggy and Matt cheerfully look over real estate and argue about clients. Even the discussion about what led Hell’s Kitchen into more misery, the Chitauri Invasion from The Avengers, is brief but not exactly morose.
But the mood shifts again at the introduction of Karen Page (Deborah Ann Woll), the bloody knife in her hand, and the dead man before her. All of which she has no recollection. Naturally, she is brought in as the main suspect, so Foggy and Matt agree to take on her case for free, but only after Matt puts her through his own version of a lie detector test. This is one of the parts I enjoy about the show. Usually when a character uses such a power, like Matt’s enhanced hearing, the show borders on cheesy or unrealistic. Sometimes it even halts the experience all together. Instead, Daredevil continues the story, only gently increasing Karen’s heartbeat and we listen along with Matt. Karen doesn’t stop talking, there isn’t a strange overlay to drive home the “power” point. It’s just sound as Matt hears it.
Matt and Foggy soon realize that Karen isn’t just being framed for murder and she is embroiled in a money scheme that traverses deep into the seediest parts of Hell’s Kitchen. This is the part executive Jeph Loeb was talking about earlier. You see much of the legal process, the search for evidence, the slow climb to revealing the guilty party. However, there isn’t a case shift each episode. One ties into another and then again and again. It’s a string of crime dramas that–I assume–culminate in the final episode. Karen’s case is only the groundwork, an introduction to Fisk’s underlings and his ever creepy right hand man, Wesley.
I don’t have much in the way of complaints for this first episode. The fight scenes are engrossing, each of the actors solid in their way, the colors and sound are so good that I’m a bit sad I’ve never noticed such things in other shows. Matt Murdock as a character is so much more intriguing than any of the other superheroes Marvel has introduced. There are so many conflicts in his nature that I cannot begin to list them here. But one I will discuss is his mortality. Even in the first episode, Daredevil as a hero is fallible. He tires and doesn’t knock out the enemies with one hit or kick. He bleeds, a lot, and his injuries have an effect and aren’t just magically healed in a few hours. In fact, the only thing that really differentiates him from the baddies he fights is that Murdock ability to take a hit and get back up.
By the end of the episode, Karen is relatively safe, resolved in a similar way to any other television procedural, but you know that behind that sweet image of the trio eating lasagna lurks an evil we have yet see. An evil whose name we aren’t allowed to speak.
How daring is it? Not as daring as some of the later episodes. Actually, this first episode may be the most tame I’ve seen in the series and that’s saying a lot. But don’t think that means it’s a quiet 50-minutes by any stretch.
How devilish is it? The final two minutes of the show are my favorite in the series thus far. You never really notice the music in the show but when you do, it’s powerful. A simple, repetitive melody sets the tone for the dichotomy between Matt Murdock training with a punching bag and the evils he’s unaware he will eventually face. It’s haunting and exhilarating all at once.
Marvel’s Daredevil airs on April 10th and you can watch the entire 13-episode season at once on Netflix.
Louie
Season 5, Episode 1, “Potluck”
Air date: April 9, 2015
Grade: B+
Louie kicks off its fifth season with some good old-fashioned social anxiety. Last season was perhaps the boldest and most personal one yet, with long multi-episode story arcs that touched on his past, his daughters, and his relationships with Amia and Pamela. “Potluck” doesn’t contain nearly the same scope or gravitas, but Louie doesn’t always start each season with a flashy premiere. Instead, we’re treated to a nightmare scenario for the antisocial (or anyone, really) as Louie attends a parents’ potluck in an attempt to get out more. It’s a hilariously uncomfortable and painfully relatable premiere to one of the best comedies on television.
While Louie has employed surrealism in the past, I think its greatest strength is its depiction of the absurdity already present in everyday life. While often contrived in its comic extremes, Louie’s suffering is eminently relatable due to the mundanity of it all. Louie’s therapist falls asleep as he tries to articulate the existential rut in which he currently finds himself, and his only reaction is reflexive disgust: “Oh my god… I’m a boring asshole now!” This isn’t a new revelation (his doctor/neighbor last season told him the same thing), but it’s a universal fear that we all resist, deny, or try to forget. Without any help from the therapist, Louie takes it upon himself to escape his ennui, and invites himself to the parents’ potluck he normally avoids.
If “Potluck” has any overall theme, it’s probably this: genuine human connection is nearly impossible to find, and Louie’s continually punished for trying. Indeed, Louie stumbles his way through one awkward situation after another–first attending another potluck at the wrong apartment held by a new age spiritual group, and later drifting through a series of uncomfortable encounters with the other parents when he finally arrives at the correct party. The one person with whom he forges a somewhat meaningful connection is a surrogate mother who ends up going into labor when they attempt to have sex.
“Potluck” touches upon all the ways we’re connected and disconnected (mostly the latter) from one another. Louie finds himself excluded or otherwise turned off by every attempt to bond, whether it’s over spirituality, parenting, or with another awkward loner who shares his appreciation for fried chicken. The two parties he attends are shot in the same way, and he finds himself equally alienated in both. The most striking example of this fundamental disconnect between people is Julianne (Celia Keenan-Bolger), the surrogate mother for Marina (Judy Gold), the overbearing and obnoxious host of the potluck. She’s introduced to the conversation but barely gets a word in edgewise, and it’s clear that she’s treated as more of a vessel for surrogacy than a human being. The juxtaposition of the quintessentially human act of giving life and her complete dehumanization and lack of emotional support is the episode’s strongest and most cynical answer to Louie’s attempts to be more social.
It wouldn’t be an episode of Louie if all these quotidian tragedies didn’t escalate to a horrifically uncomfortable comic extreme, and “Potluck” does not disappoint. After sharing an Uber ride home, Louie offers the emotionally distraught Julianne some much-needed compassion and support, and the brief bond they forge turns into some hasty sex in the hallway. Unfortunately, her water breaks almost immediately, and the episode ends at the hospital as she goes into labor. There’s a small, karmic silver lining here: the unexpected delivery completely ruins the elaborate birthing plan Marina had laid out. She delivers the episode’s best line as she berates Louie for ruining everything: “Do you know how hard we tried to have this baby in our way, and then you went and jizzed all over his face!?” Welcome back, Louie.
It’s still not real to me, this whole thing. It’s weird to think that I actually went to Axxess, attended the Hall of Fame ceremony, went to WrestleMania and got to see a RAW show live the next day.
This experience has left us exhausted but incredibly happy. I never thought I’d ever get to see a wrestling show, let alone WrestleMania.
In any case, I’m late with the show recap, so this will be a report/recap with photos.
Waking up WrestleMania Sunday doesn’t carry the same post-Saturday feeling one would usually have. As all wrestling fans know, WWE pay-per-views always fall on a Sunday, which sucks because you know that, tomorrow, you have to go back to your 9 to 5, so that’s always in the back of your mind, no matter what you do. For WrestleMania, it’s a bit different. It’s like a holiday. It’s like the Super Bowl. It’s like Opening Day for baseball. It’s you, sitting with your favorite food and drink and watching something you really like so that you have a bit of a nice feeling going into Monday.
That’s about the best way I can describe it.
We had done Axxess and The Hall of Fame, two things that I looked forward to and enjoyed. You’d think that I couldn’t be more excited for an event…but when I woke up the morning of WrestleMania, my brain was practically already getting our stadium bags ready before my body was doing it.
The first thing we did was park. Since I’m an employee of a certain networking company near Levi’s, we were able to park in the lot where I work each day…so, that was nice. The main issue is that it was about 85 degrees outside (the initial weather reports said it would be cool and cloudy) and even the closest work lot is about a mile from Levi’s, so we had a hike ahead of us.
When we got there, it was an absolute party. People outside, listening to music, eating food, buying merch, discussing the matches…really great.
At this point, we were about 2 hours from the pre-show and about 4 hours from the actual show. Our ticket package included a nice pre-game tailgate, so we had to go there first for some food…the problem was that we both mis-read the ticket and thought the party was in a lot next to the stadium.
As it turns out, our party was in “Green Lot 4”, which is located across the street and about another mile north of the stadium. It took talking with six different Levi’s Stadium attendants to find this out. You’d think these guys would know their own stadium. Ugh…so we walked with bags in our hands and found our way to Green Lot, which is located at Mission College near the Mercado entertainment plaza.
It was worth it.
Our party was hosted by former WWE wrestler, Matt Striker and catered by The Bad Boyz of BBQ.
They also had a DJ pumping music while we ate and drank, which was a plus. The whole affair was laid back. Striker was incredibly nice, made the rounds to make sure we were okay, and we had some laughs. I nearly won a signed photo of Hulk Hogan but lost on a technicality because I didn’t say “Pontiac” before “Silverdome” when I answered a WrestleMania III venue question. I was kinda bummed about that.
When I went back to our table to eat, Striker came over and laughed and shook my hand and said, “Man, you almost had it.” Prior to that, I couldn’t name all 9 inductees at the WWE Hall of Fame this year. I got 7 of them but forgot Alundra Blayze and Connor Michalek. I told Striker that I thought I had it twice and that it was like “wrestling the Undertaker because he just keeps kicking out.” Striker laughed and said, “Yes, wrestling The Undertaker might actually be easier.”
In any case, we had a lot of fun.
It was about 3 PM by the time we left. As we were trying to get to the stadium on-time, we elected to take a nearby “Pedi-Cab” which got us there in about a fraction of the time it would normally take by foot and that was a good thing because we heard Cesaro’s music booming from inside the stadium. We hurried to the front gates.
Let me tell you something: that new “NFL Clear Bag Rule” is an absolute joke. The whole point of this new rule was to make lines more efficient because gate attendants can see right through them and determine if a bag check is necessary.
It only makes the entire process slower. I’m not kidding. When Danielle got there before me, they looked at the bag, told her to remove her little WrestleMania rally towel, her water bottle, her sunscreen, her jacket, her camera, her batteries and nearly everything else. It took them 2 minutes to get through her, then another 2 because she kept setting off the metal detector despite the fact that she had no metal on her.
The same thing happened to me.
Oh, then our tickets wouldn’t scan. The Levi’s attendant looked at us like we were up to no good and handed us off to their manager. The manager said, “Usually, counterfeit tickets are the main issue and give us these kind of scanner errors…” We were horrified and couldn’t tell if the attendant said we were faking the tickets or if somebody else did. In any case, it so happened that the Levi’s scanners were the issue. They hadn’t been coded to accept “certain tickets”, as it was later explained to us.
Because of the bag check thing and the ticket issue, we missed both of the pre-show matches and got into the stadium as Aloe Blacc sang America, the Beautiful.
I might add that Levi’s comped us new seats…right next to the entrance ramp and only a few rows from the ring!
Oh…I forgot the recap portion…let’s get going on that!
Aloe Blacc sang a nice rendition of “America, the Beautiful”, followed by fireworks.
We get a WrestleMania lead-in, narrated by LL Cool J which, for a change, isn’t awful or pretentious and talks about how we all watch WrestleMania together since we’re all connected via the Internet.
We are LIVE(!!!) from Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California for WrestleMania 31!!!
JBL, Michael Cole, and Jerry “The King” Lawler are your hosts…
(By the way…here were our seats…Danielle and I are circled and dotted:
We are off and running as ladders surround the ring…
MATCH #1: Daniel Bryan (challenger) vs. Bad News Barrett (champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler (challenger) vs. Stardust (challenger) vs. Luke Harper (challenger) vs. R-Truth (challenger) vs. Dean Ambrose (challenger) in a Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Cole states that Truth has a “fear of heights”, alienating any fans Truth may have had left. Immediate brawling to begin and Harper and Bryan end up outside. Ambrose hits the Flying Psycho on Harper. Ziggler gets tossed out as well. Barrett, too. Truth flies at everyone outside. Stardust hits the Falling Star. Ziggler tries to dive at Harper, in ring, but Harper tosses him at everyone. Harper dives at everyone as well. Ambrose escapes the pile of bodies, climbs a ladder outside and dives at everyone, too. So, now that’s done, Truth is the only one free and in the ring. He sets up a ladder and climbs. Bryan gets in with Barrett and clocks him with a ladder. Then he tosses a ladder at him in the corner and adds Stardust to that pile. He dropkicks the hell out of everything he piled up. Harper gets in, nails Bryan, then sets up a ladder. Bryan pulls him down and hits YES Kicks. He climbs but Ziggler pulls him off.
Ziggler and Ambrose fight over the climb. Barrett interferes but he gets dumped. Truth and Stardust enter and Stardust knocks everyone off the ladder. The fans chant for “Cody” and this pisses Star off. He goes under the mat and pulls out his own ladder which is all friggin’ bedazzled. Barrett stops him and clocks him with a piece of broken ladder or something. Ambrose attacks Barrett and gets back in the ring. Ziggler and Harper stop him and Harper uses a ladder to beat up Ziggler. He sets a ladder up on the turnbuckle. Ambrose comes into the ring only to get tossed into it. Harper puts the ladder around his own neck and uses it to nail every single guy that comes into the ring. Truth finally stops him and hits his Truth finisher.
Barrett comes into the ring and attacks him. Star enters as well and sets up a ladder, climbing it. Barrett climbs the ladder and suplexes him from the top of the ladder. Ziggler and Bryan enter the ring and climb. They fight at the top. In comes Ambrose. He fights with both Bryan and Ziggler. Ziggler kicks him off and Ambrose does an incredibly lame “rebound” spot where he ends up pushing them off the ladder when the ropes kick him back. He climbs the ladder but Harper grabs him and POWERBOMBS HIM INTO A LADDER OUTSIDE THE ROPES…holy shit. Ziggler puts a Sleeper on Harper — but Harper climbs the ladder with Ziggler on him. Harper drops down and Ziggler is thrown off. Ziggler climbs but Barrett nails Ziggler with a Bullhammer. Stardust comes in and gets the same. Truth climbs the ladder but Barrett hits the Bullhammer as well. He climbs the ladder and gets to the belt — but here comes Bryan, climbing like a squirrel on speed and stops Barrett, knocking him off. Bryan nears the belt but Ziggler pulls him off. Barrett pushes the ladder away — but Bryan hits a Flying Knee out of nowhere. He sets up the ladder and climbs! Ziggler gets in and he climbs! The two trade shots back and forth on top of the ladder! They resort to headbutts and trade those over and over. Finally, Bryan knocks Ziggler off the ladder and pulls the belt off to win it!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Daniel Bryan at 13:49
RATING: ***. Not a bad start. COULD have been a bit longer with more danger spots, but what the hell, I’ll take it.
Post-match, Bryan celebrates.
PICTURES
The stadium popped BIG-TIME for Bryan here. Both before and after the match. Ziggler and Ambrose got similar pops. Great stuff.
We get an ad for TAPOUT gear, starring WWE superstars.
MATCH #2: Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) vs. Randy Orton
There’s some quick initial running back and forth and Orton dropkicks the hell out of Rollins, who leaves the ring. Orton chases him back in and Rollins kicks and stomps at him. Orton comes back by tossing Rollins to the mat and chopping at him in the corner. He punches at Rollins’ head but Rollins counters with a Buckle Bomb. Orton counters that by running out of the corner and hitting a clothesline. He goes for an RKO but J&J involve themselves. Orton knocks them down, then walks outside and hits the Elevated DDT on both guys. Rollins flies at Orton from inside the ring, knocking him into the announce table. He pushes Orton back in and gets a two count. Rollins hits a quick suplex and gets two, then puts on a headlock. Orton escapes, but gets put in a corner. Rollins hits a running forearm, then tries again but Orton tosses him over the top rope. Rollins lands on his feet, then tries to Springboard at Orton. He misses. Orton hits clotheslines and tries a powerslam, hitting it on the second try. He tries the Elevated DDT, but Rollins counters and hits and Enzuguri. Orton falls out of the ring. Rollins hits a Springboard Moonsault on Orton, then tosses him back into the ring. Rollins goes top rope but Orton knocks him off and goes for a Superplex. Rollins blocks it, so Orton hits a big backdrop. Orton hits a Flying Crossbody but Rollins reverses the pinfall, getting two. Rollins runs at Orton but Orton grabs him and hits the Elevated DDT. He goes for an RKO but Rollins counters. A series of counters later and Orton hits an RKOOUTOFNOWHERE, but only gets two. Orton sets up for The Punt but Noble runs in to save Rollins — then eats an RKO. Mercury gets one, too, after he leaps off the ropes. Rollins kicks Orton and hits a Curb Stomp and NEARLY gets a fall. Rollins goes to rope and tries a Flipping Splash. Orton moves. Rollins lands on his feet, then kicks Orton in the stomach to set up for another Curb Stomp. He does it, but Orton’s head won’t hit the pavement…instead, Rollins flies high into the air AND ORTON CATCHES HIM WITH AN RKO ON THE WAY DOWN! Orton wins!
WINNER: Randy Orton via RKO at 13:15
RATING: ****. Fantastic match between two of WWE’s most reliable performers and a great ending. This match had Levi’s on the edge of their seats. It was, at this point, where Danielle said to me, “See? Now he’s gonna cash in later. They had him lose here so he’ll win during the main event.”
PICTURES
UFC’s Ronda Rousey is at ringside tonight. She was diagonally to our right.
We get the build-up for Sting and Triple H.
Sting gets a weird Japanese Kabuki Samurai drum entrance whereas Triple H gets Arnold Schwarzenegger narrating his entrance and, oh look: Triple H is a Terminator who kills other Terminators. And the crowd pops for Triple H. Oh boy. (At this point, I didn’t have a good feeling about this. Especially since Bryan and Orton had already won their matches…)
MATCH #3: Sting vs. Triple H
Cole: “And WrestleMania is brought to you by Terminator: Genesys!” NO SHIT, COLE. Oh, and the match is “No-DQ” all of the sudden. Triple H and Sting circle each other to start. Triple H gets shoulder tackled by Sting, then he pounds his chest and yells “WOO!” at the crowd. HHH comes back with a snap mare and side headlock, then hits a shouldertackle and does the Crotch Chop. Sting immediately hits high dropkicks and Triple H takes a seat in the corner, then bails from the ring. Another lock-up and Triple H hits punches. He tries an Irish Whip but Sting reverses and tosses Triple H out of the ring. Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock but Triple H kicks out and goes outside. Sting chases and tries a Stinger Splash but Triple H moves out of the way. Back in the ring, Triple H hits a delayed vertical suplex, followed by a knee drop for two. Triple H tosses Sting into the corner hard and Sting goes down. Triple H does another Crotch Taunt and drops another knee for two. Triple H puts on a head lock. Sting breaks but flies into a Spinebuster for two. Sting comes back with some corner punches and tosses Triple H into the corner. He goes for a splash but Triple H kicks him. Triple H tries to go for a kick off the ropes but Sting catches his legs and puts on the Scorpion Deathlock…
…and here comes Degeneration X in the form of Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X-Pac. Sting fights them all off, then turns to Triple H. Sting dumps Triple H on top of all of them, then goes off the top rope and splashes all four guys. Crowd chants, “THIS IS AWESOME”. Sting gets back up and into the ring. Gunn attacks him and Sting knocks him off. Triple H hits the Pedigree and NEARLY gets a pin. Frustrated, Triple H goes under the ring to get the sledge…and the nWo shows up in the form of Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall and they take, like, eight days to get there. D-X runs at them to attack but the nWo knocks them all down. Sting grabs Triple H and hits the pin for…TWO?! Are you fucking kidding me? Wow. (DANIELLE: This match should be over.) Sting hits the Scorpion Deathlock but can’t even sit down on it. Triple H crawls and reaches for the sledge…but Hogan grabs it and pulls it away. X-Pac attacks Hogan. Nash attacks X-Pac. Gunn takes out Nash. Hall goes for the Outsider Edge on Road Dogg but Dogg counters it and tosses Hall to the ground. Meanwhile, Triple H gets to the ropes as the crowd chants “TAP” over and over. Sting goes for the Deathlock again. Shawn Michaels appears out of nowhere and hits Sweet Chin Music on Sting. Ugh. Triple H covers…and gets two. Michaels is pissed. D-X hands Triple H the sledge. He backs Sting into a corner…but Hall gets Sting’s baseball bat and hands it to Sting. The two men brandish their weapons and circle each other. Triple H attacks but Sting hits him in the stomach, then uses the bat to chop the sledge handle in half…just…wow. Sting drops the bat and punches Triple H in the corner, then hits the Stinger Splash. He tries again — but, Triple H picks up part of the sledge and nails Sting with it — and then pins Sting to win it. Jesus fucking christ…
WINNER: Triple H at 18:34
RATING: ***1/2…if you’re going for spectacle, but the booking was absolute bullshit. Sting should have gone over. I give it *3/4. I’m sorry. D-X and nWo? I’m not impressed. I’ve seen the nWo AND D-X (the Outlaws) on RAW. And wasn’t X-Pac part of the nWo back in January? Wasn’t Hogan predominantly red and yellow for the better part of the last few years? And wasn’t the nWo (black and white, not Wolfpac) enemies with Sting? This whole thing was just a giant Triple H stroke-fest. And, if it’s no-DQ, why can’t the nWo run in to save their “best buddy”, Sting, from getting pinned? Just complete hot bullshit.
Post-match, D-X pulls Triple H off of Triple H and the nWo helps Sting up. Triple H approaches Sting…and offers his hand. They shake? Oh, PUH-LEEZE. Wow. None of this makes any sense.
PICTURES
Maria Menounos is backstage with the new IC Champ, Daniel Bryan. He says it’s incredible to be champ. Pat Patterson shows up and congratulates him. Then Rowdy Roddy Piper. He looks menacing, then kisses Bryan on the head and congratulates him. Steamboat shows up and actually says, “That match ranks right up with the one Randy Savage and I had!” No, Steamboat…it wasn’t. Steamboat says, if Savage were here, “he’d say…WHOA YEAH!” No…no, Steamboat…he wouldn’t say “‘Whoa’, yeah.” Then, Ric Flair shows up because, apparently, Daniel Bryan needs help from a bunch of ancient superstars to get over. Flair shows up and does the “WOOOO” thing. He chops Steamboat lightly, then yells “WOO” at Maria. Oh, look. Bret Hart’s here, too, because WWE has to overbook everything right now. Everyone starts yelling “YES”…and, of course, we get a WrestleMania “DAMN” from Ron Simmons. Everyone continues yelling “YES” and, mercifully, we walk away from whatever the hell that was.
Skylar Grey, Travis Barker and Kid Ink perform that one song we’ve been hearing for two months during every single WrestleMania commercial. (And half our crowd section hit the bathrooms/concession stands.)
MATCH #4: Paige & AJ Lee vs. The Bella Twins (WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella & Brie Bella)
Nikki and Paige start off with Paige immediately tackling Nikki and punching her. Nikki reverses it and punches. Nikki headbutts AJ, then hits an Alabama Slam on Paige, getting two. She slams Paige’s head against the mat, then puts Paige in the corner, tagging Brie who hits a beautiful missile dropkick for two. Brie pounds on the back of Paige’s head, then puts her into a Chinlock/Surfboard combo. Brie goes for the running knee. AJ gets up on the mat — so, naturally, Brie knocks her off the ring mat again. She hits the knee on Paige and tags Nikki. They hit a double suplex. Nikki tosses Paige into the ropes but Paige reverses — and knocks AJ off the damn mat for the third time. Nikki hits the Rack Attack, but only gets two. Nikki puts Nikki in the corner again — and Paige elbows Brie off the mat on the way there. Paige elbows Nikki and Nikki runs at Paige. Paige dumps Nikki out of the ring and then dives at both women. Paige gets back into the ring and, FINALLY, AJ is up on the mat. Paige makes the hot tag. AJ hits a press on Nikki and punches at her, then hits a clothesline. Nikki puts AJ in the corner and lunges but AJ kicks her and goes for a Tornado DDT. Nikki counters it. AJ gets back on the top buckle and hits a Crossbody. Nikki catches her. Paige dropkicks AJ on top of Nikki. Brie saves the pin and both Paige and Brie roll out of the ring. AJ locks in the Black Widow but Brie kicks AJ. Paige hits a nice high kick on Brie. AJ goes for a roundhouse but Brie grabs AJ’s leg and Nikki just hits a vicious forearm. AJ kicks out of the pin as Brie and Paige fight outside. Paige tosses Brie into the steel steps and AJ hits the Black Widow on Nikki to get the win.
WINNERS: Paige and AJ at 6:36.
RATING: **3/4. Not terrible but fairly pedestrian — and what was with AJ taking a nap for over half the match?
PICTURES
We get an ad for WWE “heroes”.
We get a “Tale of the Tape” for Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns. Cole pretends Google and the Internet don’t exist and tells us that they got this information when they “put stats into a computer” and says “the computer gave us this”.
Cole gives us a look back on this year’s Hall of Famers.
Then we get introduced to them.
PICTURES
We get the build-up between Rusev and Cena…
Rusev enters with a full Russian colorguard and rides on top of a tank. Your argument is invalid. Cena’s answer is a video package with a bunch of shit America’s done. Each time a President pops up, they got either a huge pop (Reagan, for some reason) or big time heat (Obama, for some reason). Bush got nothing (for some reason).
MATCH #5: Rusev (champion) (w/ Lana) vs. John Cena (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship
They cheer “U.S.A.”, but they boo Rusev. They boo the whole Russian gimmick, but cheer for Rusev. I just don’t know anymore. Cena knocks Rusev down with a clothesline. Rusev comes back with a high spinning kick and gets two. Rusev hits a headbutt and an Arm Hook Suplex for two. Cena tries a back drop but Rusev kicks him, then tosses him into a corner and splashes him. He hits a nice Rolling Kick and gets two. Rusev picks up the Russian flag and celebrates for absolutely no reason whatsoever as Cena just lays there. Rusev does the “U CAN’T SEE ME” taunt to Cena so Cena kicks him and hits Moves 1 through 3. He goes for the 5KS and hits that. He goes for the AA but Rusev falls off Cena and lands on his feet, then counters with a side suplex. Rusev goes for a high kick but Cena ducks and goes for the STF. Rusev kicks out. Cena flies at Rusev who catches him and hits a Spinebuster. Two count. He puts Cena on the turnbuckle and goes for a Superplex. Cena blocks it and headbutts Rusev, knocking him to the mat. Cena hits a Flying Legdrop and gets a close fall.
Cena goes for another AA but Rusev kicks out and hits the Flying Superkick. Rusev misses the Accolade set-up, but manages to hit a low kick to Cena’s head, getting two. He tosses Cena into the corner and misses a kick. Cena hits a Tornado DDT. Cena gets to his feet and so does Rusev. The two exchange blows with the crowd clearly behind Rusev. Rusev yells “YOU CAN’T BEAT ME, JOHN CENA!” into Cena’s face, then hits an Alabama Slam following a Tiger Knee to Cena’s head. Two count. He sets up for the Accolade but Cena counters and locks in the STF. Lana takes off one of her heels and throws it at Cena (The crowd laughed at this) so the ref warns Lana to knock it off. Rusev breaks and hits a Fallaway Slam. Rusev goes to the top rope and hits a Flying Headbutt!
Two count and Rusev cannot believe that. Rusev sets up the Accolade…but Cena struggles and counters it, kicking out. Cena runs to the ropes and hits a Springboard Stunner! Holy shit. Two count. Cena gets up and goes for an AA. Rusev breaks it and catches Cena. He tries a Spinebuster but Cena counters and rolls Rusev up for two. Rusev gets up and slams Cena to the mat and finally locks in the Accolade and Cole says, “Nobody’s ever broke The Accolade!” You know, except for Cena and Swagger who both broke it. Cena gets to his feet and backs Rusev into the corner, then locks in the STF. Rusev gets to the ropes but Cena gets up and drags Rusev to the center of the ring. Lana gets up on the mat so Cena walks over to her. Rusev runs at Cena but Lana takes the bump and eats an AA. Cena win the U.S. Title as Rusev fails America and her fans.
WINNER: John Cena via AA at 14:31
RATING: ***. Nice match but, honestly, I don’t know why Cena had to win here.
PICTURES
WrestleMania 32 is coming to AT&T Stadium in Dallas, Texas next year!
Renee Young, Booker T, Corey Graves and Byron Saxton are at the talking desk. We recap the Fatal Four-Way Tag Match where Cesaro and Tyson retained the titles. They also recap that Big Show won the Battle Royal.
Steph and Triple H are in the ring. She tells us that Levi’s has 76,000-plus people. She tells us that, back in the day, WrestleMania was on closed-circuit TV and she got to watch Andre slam Big John Studd. (DANIELLE: And she used Cole’s IBM tape computer to spit out stats.) She says that the success of WrestleMania is all because of HER. Triple H says the truth hurts. He brags about beating Sting (which draws massive heat) and says that he pretty much beat everyone against him, including the 76,000 people in Levi’s and the millions on WWE Network. Then he says he owns Sting as well as all the talent backstage. So much for that handshake, huh? He says The Authority always wins…
The Rock’s music hits. This got the biggest pop of the night. He takes forever to talk because the fans are not going quiet. Steph: “Okay! We get it! You’re happy to see him! Can you be quiet now?” The Rock says that The Authority doesn’t own the fans…or The Rock. He says The Authority likes to run their mouths. But what they don’t get is that The Rock is an East Bay Area Boy. So, The Rock says Triple H has two choices: 1) Triple H goes backstage and dresses up as The Terminator again…or 2) They can have a “WrestleMania Moment” right here, right now. The Rock and Triple H go nose to nose.
Triple H says that him and The Rock have a great rivalry that goes back years — and Triple H kicked his ass for most of it. He says he has nothing more to prove. The Rock says, just like he left his heart in San Francisco, that Triple H left his balls in Stamford, Connecticut. Triple H isn’t happy and takes off his coat. Steph steps between them and says The Rock just likes to rile him and the fans up. He says that there would be no Rock without the fans. She says that even his relatives wouldn’t be anything without the McMahons. The Rock says that Steph likes to talk about the Johnsons and McMahons…but that she wouldn’t be here without Vince’s “johnson”. She slaps his face all the way into next week and asks what he’s gonna do about that. She says that these are her fans, her ring, and her stadium and orders him to leave.
Rock leaves with Steph riding his ass on the mic as he does. The Rock stops just outside the ring…then walks to his left…and visits with Ronda Rousey. He invites her to jump the barrier and get into the ring with him. She obliges. The Rock tells Steph that he’d never hit a woman…but he has a good friend who’d be happy to. Steph shrugs it off and says that her and Steph are friends. She begs Ronda to tell Rock that they’re friends. Ronda doesn’t respond. Steph says that Ronda’s probably the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. She says that Ronda doesn’t realize that this is her ring and that she needs to enjoy WrestleMania like a good little fan. Ronda says that Steph doesn’t get it: any ring she steps into is hers. She says if Steph wants her to leave, Steph should make her leave. Steph growls for her to get out of the ring. Rock looks at Rousey and tells Steph that the look on Rousey’s face means that she’s about to reach down Steph’s throat, pull out her uterus and play jump rope with her fallopian tubes.
Triple H says he’s tired of all this shit and wants Rock to stop talking. Rock agrees to do so and says this is the last thing they’ll hear from him. He attacks Triple H and beats on him in the corner. Triple H lunges at Rousey but Rousey hits a hip toss and out of the ring goes Triple H. Steph attacks her but Rousey locks Steph’s arm. Finally, she lets Steph go and this comes to an end. Rock tells the McMahons that they’re “owned”.
PICTURES
We go to Undertaker and Bray Wyatt…Undertaker has his usual entrance, but Bray’s entrance is a mix of theatrical and goofy. He has a “valley” of scarecrows on the entrance ramp that he “brings to life” and they follow him down the ramp. The electric signage around the stadium, during The Undertaker’s entrance read, “NEVER SUMMON THE DEAD”, which I thought was pretty sweet. The Undertaker also grew his hair back. It’s still short but it’s not a mohawk anymore. The entire entrance is gold for so many reasons. JBL, Cole and King wonder if The Undertaker is the same guy we used to see — yet, he still looks that way. Bray just stares the entire time, in awe.
Bray says this is “his yard”, then runs at ‘Taker, who boots him right in the face.
MATCH #6: Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker
The bell rings and ‘Taker is all over Bray in the corner. He beats on him, knocks him to the mat, then does Old School. ‘Taker goes off the ropes but Bray knocks him down with a clothesline. Bray clotheslines him out of the ring — but The Undertaker lands on his feet and glares at Bray. Crowd loves it. Bray grabs him by the legs and drags him outside. He sets Bray up on the mat and drops the leg across Bray’s throat. Bray rolls into the ring and ‘Taker clotheslines him, then hits Snake Eyes. ‘Taker goes for a big boot but Bray knocks ‘Taker down with a drive-by lariat. Wyatt beats on ‘Taker in the corner and then puts him into the adjacent corner. Bray hits a running corner clothesline and can’t get two. He puts a clutch on ‘Taker but ‘Taker fights out. Bray drops punches on ‘Taker. Bray stares at him as he struggles to get up. He crawls to Bray. Bray leaves the ring, then smashes ‘Taker’s head into the ringpost. Wyatt gets into the ring and boots ‘Taker in the face. He goes to pick up ‘Taker but ‘Taker locks in Hell’s Gate. Wyatt quickly realizes he’s in trouble and punches ‘Taker in the head until he lets go. ‘Taker gets to his feet and lunges at Bray only to find himself in a Spinebuster, followed by the Reverse Senton. Bray does the Hanging Spider, then goes for Sister Abigail. Bray does the “thumb across the throat”, but ‘Taker grabs him by the throat and hits the Chokeslam. ‘Taker calls for The Tombstone and hits it…but only gets two as the announce team pretends like nobody’s ever kicked out of it. ‘Taker calls for another Tombstone but Bray counters and hits Sister Abigail! Bray covers — and gets two. Bray gets up, doing the Spider Walk, walking over to ‘Taker, who is still on his back. When he gets close, The Undertaker sits up and glares at Bray in one of the coolest moments of the night. Bray just melts out of the Spider Walk. The both get up and start trading shots. Bray gets the best of it and knocks ‘Taker all the way down. Bray goes for Sister Abigail again — but ‘Taker breaks it and shoves Bray. Bray runs at ‘Taker and ‘Taker picks him and Tombstones the hell out of him for the win.
WINNER: The Undertaker via Tombstone at 15:13
RATING: **3/4. This had some great moments…I really don’t know, however, how long ‘Taker can continue to do this.
Post-match, ‘Taker does the “tribute” spot with the purple lighting and fireworks.
PICTURES
We get the build-up to Reigns/Lesnar…
MATCH #7: Roman Reigns (challenger) vs. Brock Lesnar (champion) (w/ Paul Heyman) for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
The bell rings and it’s a goddamn brawl to start. Both men all over each other. Lesnar hits a German Suplex and an F5…but doesn’t cover Reigns. Lesnar is cut open. He walks over to Reigns and his some shots to the gut with his knee. Lesnar hits a Fallway Fisherman’s Suplex. Lesnar goes for another German. Reigns fights back and tries clotheslines but can’t knock Reigns down. Lesnar counters with German #2. Reigns gets to his knees…and smiles. Lesnar hits a Side Suplex, then yells, “SUPLEX CITY, BITCH!” Reigns comes back with punches but Lesnar hits German #3. Reigns gets up, grinning. Lesnar kicks him in the ribs, then hits German #4. Reigns tries to get up but Lesnar just knees him in the stomach. Brock drops Roman on the top rope and knees Reigns in the face repeatedly. Lesnar hits a running forearm on a run and knocks Reigns out of the ring.
Lesnar beckons Reigns to get back in the ring and Reigns does. Lesnar runs at him and Reigns knees Lesnar in the face. He hits kicks to the face. But Lesnar just grabs his leg after a few of them and clotheslines Reigns from the ring. Lesnar goes outside and beats on Reigns. He rolls Reigns back in and then hits a suplex throw. Reigns is tossed from the ring and crawls back in again. Lesnar hits a belly to belly suplex, the 8th one overall. Lesnar hits F5 #2. Reigns kicks out. Lesnar smacks the shit out of Reigns but Reigns doesn’t care. He just laughs. Lesnar hits German #4 and #5. He hits F5 #3…but only gets two again. Lesnar tosses Reigns out of the ring. He goes outside and picks up Reigns and tries to toss Reigns into the ringpost but Reigns reverses the attempt and Lesnar eats the post instead.
Lesnar is bleeding as Reigns gets back into the ring. Reigns looks determined and gets to his feet. He hits a Superman Punch but Lesnar hangs onto the ropes. Reigns hits another and Lesnar is rocking on the ropes. Reigns goes for another. Lesnar catches him for a German but Reigns elbows out. Reigns hits Superman Punch #3 and knocks him down. He hits a Spear! Lesnar gets up and rocks towards the ropes. Reigns hits another and NEARLY gets the fall. Reigns goes for another — but Lesnar catches him and hits F5 #4! Lesnar can’t cover…both men are down. Seth Rollins’ music hits. (DANIELLE: Told ya’!) He cashes in the MITB contract. This is now a Triple Threat Match. O…K.
MATCH #7: Roman Reigns (challenger) vs. Brock Lesnar (champion) (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Seth Rollins (challenger) in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Rollins boots Reigns from the ring and hits a quick Curb Stomp on Lesnar. He checks on Reigns to make sure he can’t interfere…and goes for another Curb Stomp…but Lesnar catches him for an F5! But here comes Reigns who Spears Lesnar! Reigns tries to get up but Rollins hits a Curb Stomp and wins the title.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Seth Rollins via Curb Stomp at 16:44
RATING: ***1/2. Not a bad finish to the thing. I’d hesitate to call it “ingenious” since they all but telegraphed the cash-in. Nobody liked Reigns and nobody wanted to see Lesnar go home with the title. The only reason WrestleMania ended on a “high note” was because Rollins was the lesser of three evils. Yay?
Rollins celebrates as Levi’s Stadium shoots its fireworks load and we go off the air.
PICTURES
OVERALL: ***1/2. Better than I expected but nowhere near as good as last year’s ‘Mania. I don’t understand the high praise this show is getting. For the live experience? Add another two stars. There’s nothing like being there.
Er…that’s it.
Community
Season 6, Episode 5 – Laws of Robotics and Party Rights
Air Date: April 7, 2015
Grade: B
As usual, our gang is convened around the study room table at the request of Frankie. While they wait for her to show up, Britta rejoices at the end of midterms and wants to throw a party in her new apartment. Annie chimes in saying that a party in their apartment is limited to 8 additional guests, anything going over that is considered a rager, which is explicitly prohibited, especially because Britta is the newest roommates, and is just a ‘coucher’.
Following Annie’s strong rejection of a rager, an iPad attached to a Segway rolls into the study with Frankie’s face displayed. She explains that Colorado is piloting a program where convicts use telepresence platforms to attend college. Despite Chang’s initial warning of, “they’ll rape us, they’ll rape us all” the committee decides to green light the program, not out of any sort of altruistic motivation, but the fact that this means Greendale will get $300,000. That, and with Jeff’s affirmation, the Dean’s weakness to anything Jeff says, a group of convicts sets foot wheel onto campus.
After the Dean’s threat to adjust the contrast on the iPads to prevent any race gangs from forming, the convicts each roll off through the halls of Greendale. Jeff’s Fundamentals of Law class gets saddled with a charismatic convicted murderer named Willy. It’s obvious from the repartee between the two that the main difference between Jeff and Willy is an orange jumpsuit, oh, and Willy actually killed a man. An uneasy chill falls between the two men as Willy challenges Jeff’s dominance in the classroom, a chill that is eased by what has to be the twentieth watching of Planet Earth by Jeff’s class.
While all that is going on, Britta continually is thinking about throwing her party, so using Britta logic, because Abed has technically has been the longest tenant of the apartment, he supersedes Annie on created the apartment rules. Of course, Abed has no desire to throw a party or override Annie, so Britta preys on Abed logic by convincing him to instead shoot a film exploring parties, to which Annie gently whispers in Britta’s ear, “before this is over, you’ll beg for my forgiveness”. Crazy Annie, is the best Annie.
As Jeff leaves Greendale to go to his car in the Greendale Parking Garage (why have there not been more scenes in the Greendale Parking Garage), we see what would’ve been a threatening atmosphere with a hardened criminal become incredibly laughable as we see Willy attempt to throw Jeff down the stair by repeatedly bumping him with this iPad/Segway combo. Even his attempt at retreating into the shadows fails as he gets stuck on litter. Of course, following this little attempted murder attempt, Jeff goes to see the Dean, only to find that Willy has preempted him and complained to the Dean about the Planet Earth marathon that is Fundamentals of Law. Threaten his life, fine, but Jeff will not take potshots against his nonchalant lifestyle that he’s carefully built.
As Jeff heads back to class, he sees Willy taking control of the students who used to hang on his every word, and tries to reclaim his spot at the head of the class, but Willy breaks down his carefully constructed adult life, using his prison charisma and rep as a felon to usurp Jeff. Jeff’s ego is his reason for existence, you wound that, and you wound the beast. Jeff retreats to Britta’s Party/Abed’s film, and starts to unload, only to find that Frankie and the Dean have brought the convicts out of the school and into the party, to celebrate the funding of Greendale. As Willy breezes in and takes over the party, Jeff leaves, ego beaten and battered. Of course, Abed’s devotion to cinema has him filming way past Britta’s bed time, so her clever ruse to throw a rager backfires in her face. Gee, who would’ve guessed. Things finally come to a head when Britta begs Annie to intervene, which she does, and Britta screws things up with Abed, bringing that boring plotline to a close.
With Jeff on the outs with the school, Willy shows up to gloat and twist the knife, keeping on taunting Jeff, and this takes him to the brink, and “murders” Willy’s iPad/Segway in front of the Dean, who sends Jeff away from Greendale on a two-week paid sabbatical, PAID DAMMIT!! Willy has obviously usurped Jeff’s position as the Dean’s object of affection with his bad boy image. When Jeff finds out that Willy is going to be named a Professor Emeritus, he decides to crash the ceremony using Elroy, an iPad, a broom, and a remote-controlled car to roll in. Jeff interrupts the ceremony/faux wedding to profess true and genuine friendship for the Dean and actually caring about Greendale. Willy is about to fight back, but is exposed as an innocent man, which sets the scene for battling iPads, with the Dean carrying telepresence Jeff out into the sunset.
Last week’s episode was definitely the highlight of season six so far. Does this week’s episode continue on the upward trend? Well, no, not exactly. This is where the whole paradigm of the sixth season starts to bother me again. Yes, some of the plots in Community are ridiculous and amazing, but that’s not why we come back to the show. We come back because we love the characters, which I think is the strength of any show. The strongest episodes of Community are when the characters show growth and development. So far, most of season six is just a series of ridiculous plots that rely on the character stereotypes to play into it.
Something epic happened on this week’s episode of Dancing With the Stars. Something that will forever make me giggle, and make me see my host-crush Tom Bergeron in a whole new light. Cranky judge Len Goodman called Tom Bergeron “sunshine.” It was amazing. It was hilarious. It was the oddest thing ever.
Other than Bergeron’s new nickname, this show had other qualities of epic as well. It was Week 4, and it was one of the episodes everyone looks forward to, fans and crew and cast alike. Each star chooses “the most memorable year of their life”, chooses a song that represents it, and dances to it. Every year, this episode is filled with incredible moments of inspiration, emotional rawness, and endless sobbing. The show aired Monday night. I am writing this on Wednesday. I am still crying. Almost every single dance and STORY brought me to tears. Don’t worry . There is , as always, some moments of comedy too. Why wait any longer? Here we go, Sunshine….
Nastia / Derek: The year was 2008, and Nastia represented the United States as a gymnast in the Beijing Olympics. She took home the Gold Medal. Their dance was the Argentine Tango to the song “Dark Eyes”, which was the same song she performed her routine to in Beijing. She dedicated the song to her parents, who helped and supported her dreams always, and who were in the audience watching, just to make damn sure that I was sobbing my face off by verse two of this song. What a gorgeous dance. WOW. Literally 20 seconds in, and I was a sobbing mess. Perfection. Beauty. Gorgeous lines and lifts. So, of course, grumpy Len found issue with it somehow, and didn’t see it as a true tango. Bergeron asked him: “So, there was something missing in that dance for you?” To which Len replied condescendingly: “Yes, there was, Sunshine.” “Okay then”, said Tom. The other judges loved it, calling it stunning and exhilarating. Scores were 9/8/9/10, and Len pooped his Depends.
Michael / Peta: His story is touching and moving and inspiring. When Michael was a child, he grew up in a bad environment, and his brother was killed by gunshots at a young age. Their dad left them and abandoned them soon after. When Micheal went to college, he made the decision to give his dad a second chance, and things were okay for a while between them. Then, in 2014, Michael came out as a gay man and the first openly gay player in the NFL. It cost him his relationship with his father, who told the NY Times that he was ashamed of his son and wanted nothing to do with him. They havent spoken since. His dance was to the song “I’m Not My Father’s Son”, and it was a gorgeous emotional Rumba. So beautifully done. After the dance, he cried onto Peta’s shoulders, and I cried into my popcorn bowl. Julianne called him “so trusting and vulnerable and beautiful.” Bruno said “it takes enormous guts to stand up for what you believe in, best dance you’ve done yet.” Carrie Ann said “you danced your soul for us.” Scores were 7/7/8/8, but they should have ALL been eights.
Riker / Allison: Okay, this is where I normally take my bathroom break, but since I have to write reviews, I sort of need to pay attention and watch everyone. This kid just bores me. Zzzzzzzz …. his story was kind of dull too, especially compared to all the hardships everyone else has through, the life-changing years and such. 2014 was the year he chose, because it was when his singing career really took off. Before that, he was “struggling” for SEVEN WHOLE YEARS!!!! OH THE TRAVESTY!!! That made me laugh. I’m 43 years old and have been “struggling” to make it somewhere in this business since I was 18 and moved to NYC to “be something!” Yeah. Seven years. You’re an infant. Take a number. They danced a Tango with a checkered backdrop that made me incredibly dizzy to look at. Len said it was “a tad on the hectic side, like my bladder.” Scores were 8/8/9/9, and I’ve still never heard one of this kid’s songs.
Robert / Kym: The year was 2006, and Robert’s mom died from complications of ovarian cancer. It was found at stage 4, and at the time, Robert thought he could deal with the issue by throwing his money at it – getting her the best of every treatment out there. He soon learned that “cancer doesn’t care.” Robert cried as he told Kym how much his mother loved watching this show. He got emotional talking about how much he misses her, and dammit, this game-show-host looking cheesy dude made me cry!!! Beautiful dance. It felt like he was pulling his mom forward to him for one last Waltz. Scores were 8/9/8/9.
Farmer Dull / Witney: In the year 2014, Chris was asked to be The Bachelor, and he met his now fiance, Whitney. (not to be confused with Witney) The Rumba dance was very pretty, but the expression on his face is always so BLAH. He has cardboard face. There is just nothing going on . Len said plainly: “That wasn’t that great.” Then he kicked a small child underneath the judges table. Scores were 7/6/7/7, and Len took 2 spoonfuls of his cranky-be-gone medicine.
Patti / Artem: She chose 1973, the year that her son was born, and changed her life forever. He was in the audience watching, of course, and she danced to “Dance With Me”, a song she herself recorded just months after her son’s birth. It was in the style of Jazz, and these two really jazzed it up bigtime. She had all kinds of great moves in this dance, and her legs were moving all about. The dance had a strong New Orleans feel, and was a total blast. Bruno stood up and screamed like a maniac “Go, girl!” and other words that nobody could make out as human. Horny Carrie Ann yelled desperately “Honey you HOT!!!!” Len said something about cappuccino and dancing, and … well …. it’s past your bedtime, Len. Get to bed. Scores were 8/7/7/8.
Rumer / Val: The year she chose was 2014. What led up to it is a really beautiful story. Rumer talked about how it can be difficult growing up with such huge stars as parents, and how nasty some people were to her during her most awkward teen and young kid years, comparing her to her mom Demi Moore’s beauty and saying she looked so “manly” and looked more like her dad than her mom She was bullied online a lot, and never felt good about herself. In 2014, Rumer’s sister Talulah checked herself into rehab, and the way she just owned that and coped with it unapologetically, really inspired Rumer. Their Waltz was dedicated to her sister, and to anyone who never felt beautiful or was bullied. The second I heard that damn Adele song, I was a goner and the tears were coming. The dance was breathtaking. Horny Carrie Ann said something about how Rumer’s dancing affects HER body (gross). Len once again questioned whether or not it was actually a waltz or not. Hey there, Grumpypants, I don’t think you’re supposed to EAT the Ben-Gay. Chill out. When Len got booed, he yelled “Hey I have to be nasty. Nobody remembers me when I’m nice.” To which Bergeron brilliantly replied: “Yes, well, believe it or not Len, it’s not ALL about you!” Scores were 9/8/9/9.
Suzanne / Tony: In 1977, Suzanne Somers had made the decision, after years of struggling, to quit acting. But her agent told her to just go on this one last audition. A few days later, she got the phone call saying that she landed the role of Chrissy Snow on what would become the number one sitcom on TV “Threes Company.” Her waltz was dedicated to the late John Ritter, who played Jack Tripper on the show, and they danced on a recreated version of the sitcom’s set – with Suzanne dressed in her finest Chrissy outfit and pigtails. Tony and Suzanne had a short dialogue exchange at the top of the dance that was pulled directly from the pilot episode . Suzanne called this dance “the dance Chrissy and Jack never got to dance, and the goodbye I never got to have with John.” This was so sweet, and she danced it with elegance and grace. Judges loved it and praised her, and then they all gave her 7’s. Tony thought that should have been a higher number, and I agree with him.
Willow / Mark: The year was 2011, and her life changed forever. She got that phone call saying she just landed the role in “The Hunger Games” series. She was 10 years old. Her contemporary dance was an epic sword fight in the Hunger Games theme, and it was dedicated to her fans. Definitely the strongest dance of the night, with sharp and crisp moves. Bruno said it was a “triumph for my little warrior!” Yes, but enough about your penis, Bruno. Horny Carrie Ann chimed in that she is “blown away by you”. I’m sure she has been blowin’ something away! Their scores were highest of the night, and included that magic double-digit that makes people jump up and down. 10/9/10/10. When Erin Andrews announced that this couple was one of the ones “in jeopardy” of going home, Carrie Ann revealed her perfect 10 score by shouting “Jeopardy Shmeopardy!” As a reaction to the three 10’s, Willow screamed and was very excited. It was cool.
Noah / Sharna: Oh, how I love this man. It was 2005, and he was on his second deployment in Iraq, when a roadside bomb hit his Humvee. A couple of days later, he woke up in the Vet hospital, with his left leg and left arm missing, on Christmas morning. “I buried all the pain at first”, he said. “I would sit alone and just drink. I tried to cope by myself , until one day I decided I HAD to make a change if I wanted any kind of life.” The song and dance was meant to show the journey from the man he was to the man he then became. It was a contemporary piece, and it was so brilliant. Every time he lifts her with one arm and she stays still and he holds her there, I am in awe. The strength. Bruno; “Your spirit soars unbroken. You want a superhero? There it is.”Len said no guts, no glory, then asked the audience to please stand up and applaud this man, who is a huge inspiration. Scores were 8/8/8/8, and I really thought he should have had nines.
GOING HOME: Well, the bottom two were Riker / Allison and Michael / Peta. I really, really, really wanted Riker to go home with his dumb haircut and silly pop band that “struggled” for SEVEN WHOLE YEARS!!!! But that isn’t what happened. Nope. Michael , who did such a gorgeous dance and opened up his soul to us, got voted off instead. Heartbreaking. I really liked him.
Next Week: Len Goodman and Tom Bergeron star in a new buddy-dance show called “Grumpy and Sunshine’, coming to a TV near you.
Get your first look at Collin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Rachel McAdams, and Taylor Kitsch in the upcoming new season of “True Detective.”
Here’s the official synopsis from HBO:
A bizarre murder brings together three law-enforcement officers and a career criminal, each of whom must navigate a web of conspiracy and betrayal in the scorched landscapes of California. Colin Farrell is Ray Velcoro, a compromised detective in the all-industrial City of Vinci, LA County. Vince Vaughn plays Frank Semyon, a criminal and entrepreneur in danger of losing his life’s work, while his wife and closest ally (Kelly Reilly), struggles with his choices and her own. Rachel McAdams is Ani Bezzerides, a Ventura County Sheriff’s detective often at odds with the system she serves, while Taylor Kitsch plays Paul Woodrugh, a war veteran and motorcycle cop for the California Highway Patrol who discovers a crime scene which triggers an investigation involving three law enforcement groups, multiple criminal collusions, and billions of dollars.
With HBO Now subscriptions available at $14.99, fans of the series who aren’t cable subscribers will be able to access the show on Apple devices.
“True Detective” returns on Sunday June 21, 2015.
Image courtesy of HBO.
I love Cersei Lannister. She is far and away my favorite character from Game of Thrones because she is so different from the usual female characters we watch or read about. Fully aware of who she is and completely unapologetic about it, Cersei never hides the fact that she lusts for power, or that she is a woman who believes she is better than all the men around her. Naturally, because of all this, I decided to share some of my love for the Lady Lannister and rank her best moments.
EDIT: It’s a shame that Game of Thrones retconned one of Cersei’s best, most emotional moments.
(Also, Trisha is responsible for this because of her 5 Times Robb Stark Was Hotter Than Jon Snow post.)
Season 3 Episode 1
Oh, Cersei. Classic Cersei. Is there anyone in the realm who makes better threats than she? Tyrion makes more subtle, intelligent threats, sure, but Cersei doesn’t hide the insult. If she hates you, you know it, and the fact that she’s unpredictable makes her all the more terrifying.
Note: I don’t think of Cersei as a liar. Littlefinger is a liar. Cersei doesn’t go through the effort. Whenever someone makes a snide remark about her relationship with Jaime, she doesn’t deny it. She may twist the truth to get her way, especially with her father, but when she says something, whether it is the actual truth or not, SHE believes it to be true. Her misguided opinion of Tyrion as a liar and murderer is true in her mind.
Season 2 Episode 7
Most people see Cersei as despicable, cruel, and manipulative. I won’t deny she is those things–she most certainly is–but she also has her vulnerable moments, and even though she claims to hate him, they’re almost always in Tyrion’s presence. He sees beyond her rage and control issues and instead pities her. As Tyrion states, “You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality–that and your cheekbones.” And I’ve always agreed with that sentiment. Much like Catelyn Stark, Cersei will do anything to protect her children, including defend the sadistic Joffrey.
Note: I almost included Cersei’s moment in the Sept of Baelor after Joffrey was murdered instead because her grief over her son’s death has been the most powerful in the show. Don’t worry, Catelyn Stark, you’re second.
Season 1 Episode 7
This is probably the moment when people started to take Cersei seriously. In the early parts of the first season, Cersei had a much more redeeming personality. She empathized with Catelyn Stark after Bran is thrown from the window (even though it was her fault), telling the story of her lost son (in what I believe was a true story, not one made up by Cersei to throw Catelyn off her trail). Her conversations with Robert Baratheon were raw representations of a couple still married only for the sake of appearances. And even in this pivotal scene with Ned Stark, Cersei manages to come across as likable, announcing that she did love Robert and tried to make it work, only his drunken whoring and fake affections destroyed her image of him. Then she drops the mic and all hell breaks loose, leading to another OH SHIT moment in the series:
Season 3 Episode 8
Margaery you tried to befriend a lion and got mauled. By now, the sweet Tyrell girl with the worst marriage luck should know that the innocent school girl act doesn’t work on Cersei, as I’m sure that was a ploy she used once or twice in her many years of manipulation. Cersei knows just how crafty women can be because men don’t expect such things from the gentler sex (as she describes in detail to Sansa during the Battle of the Blackwater). Besides, look at her face. Look at it. Would you want to anger that sweetly sinister grin? Not I.
Season 2 Episode 1
Who shouted at the TV, “OH SNAP” when this moment first aired? HM? You’re damn right all of you did because that was a beautiful display of who Cersei is as a character. Or rather, who she desperately thinks she is. As we’ve seen of late, that certainly is not the case, but in this moment early in the second season when the Lannisters were still riding high, Cersei shocking Littlefinger into submission was wonderful to behold.
Honorable mention goes to moment when Cersei slaps Joffrey, because any time that little twat is hit a direwolf has puppies.
Game of Thrones returns this Sunday on HBO. Squee with me, people. Squee with me.
That’s the question that Gabriel poses to Philip toward the end of this week’s episode – “are you falling apart?”
Philip (Matthew Rhys) answers that he’s fine, just pissed at the world in general and Gabriel’s platitudes and pretend friendship (I can’t blame him; I’m really beginning to hate the guy, too), before storming off with a thinly veiled threat. The fact is that Philip is falling apart, and the sight of him barely holding it together is breaking my heart. Elizabeth (Keri Russell) can see it, can sense it, but as usual she’s got a mountain of her own troubles keeping her from being the support that he needs to pick up the pieces.
Paige (Holly Taylor) is clearly freaking out about her parents’ secret, and who can blame her? She hasn’t moved past the asking a million questions phase from the expressing how she feels about it stage and I’m dying to find out what thoughts are rolling around in her head.
Things are re-heating with Martha at the office, with the investigator asking her to come in for another long session. Phil (or Clark) teaches her how to look convincingly innocent, how to lie well, and it seems to be working. The thing is, this is going to end badly and everyone but Phil seems to realize that–Martha is going to crack, she’s going to get caught, or she’s going to decide that lying to protect a husband she really hardly knows isn’t the smartest thing in the world and it’s going to blow up in their faces.
Elizabeth is running the job at the hotel, getting the manager to trust her so that she can copy keys and get into the computer system, and what she’s going through is one of the most interesting struggles and transformations in all three seasons of The Americans. See, Elizabeth is starting feel–for her daughter, for her husband, her marriage, the things she has to do in service to Mother Russia. Using sex to get to the hotel manager bothers her, it’s eating away at her (that said, coming home from making out with him to go down on you husband is kind of…off).
She’s falling apart, trying to figure out how she can reconcile what she believes with what she’s starting to feel. He’s falling apart, the news of his son and what happened to Annalise and Paige’s newfound knowledge swirling into a volcano he’s determined to not have erupt. He’s turning of his emotions as Elizabeth turns hers on, and the coming rift in their marriage is making me want to cry even in anticipation.
I’m not sure what’s in store for us in these past couple episodes of the season but as always, I’m nervous. The Russians have access to the FBI (I appreciated this bit of humor). Paige is a wild card. Nina is making headway with the scientist, but perhaps her heart is getting the better of her, too. Who knows what’s going to happen with Stan and Martha, and whether Phil’s going to lose his shit completely and do something stupid. I’m afraid that his not getting his way when it comes to Elizabeth going home to see her mother is going to be the spark that lights the fire and then all bets are off.
All bets are off with this show right now the way it is and even though it’s exciting, I might need someone to start holding my hand on Wednesday nights.
The Americans, Season 3, Episode 11 “One Day in the Life of Anton Baklanov” originally aired Wednesday, April 8th at 10/9c.
It’s that happy time of year again…we’re about to get treated to another sappy, sad, romantic love story penned by Nicholas Sparks (as adapted for the big screen). I, for one, refused to be shamed for my love for these types of smarmy loveliness, and in honor of this weekend’s release of The Longest Ride, I present you with my ranking of Nicholas Sparks adaptations from worst to best – mine, which is to say, the best and most correct list around town.
9. The Lucky One (2012): Who would have thought that the movie featuring Zac Efron would be the worst on my list, but it is. I have no idea how it’s possible to have zero chemistry with the living embodiment of physical perfection, but Taylor Schilling manages it. The reason this one is still worth watching can be summed up in two words: outdoor shower.
8. The Last Song (2010): That’s right–the Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth debacle isn’t at the bottom of my list. In all fairness I found her bad acting to be less distracting than his, and I cried big fat tears at the end,so…win?
7. The Best of Me (2014): James Marsden and Michelle Monaghan are solid actors and their chemistry had me smiling at the television like a loon. This one might have ended up higher on the list if either of the actors playing the younger versions of the main characters had the slightest ability to connect with each other or me.
6. Safe Haven (2013): This one and #6 are almost dead even. Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel surprised me with their chemistry, I loved the interaction with the kids, and the setting was one of the more original. Aside from the eyeroll-worthy ending that came out of basically nowhere, it’s a solid, middle of the road flick.
5. Nights in Rodanthe (2008): This one made it this high because for some reason, I bawled really hard while watching it. As that is one of the main goals and measures of a Sparks’ film, it deserves some credit. The love story is also super believable and the acting is strong, which contributes to it’s rank.
4. Message in a Bottle (1999): Sparks’ first movie (but not first novel) could be argued to be his best in terms of being well-made and well-received. It was made and released before we understood what to expect from his stories, which made its impact more potent (and heartbreaking). It also holds up well after fifteen years, which is tough to accomplish.
3. Dear John (2010): I know, I know. How can the adaptation featuring Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried end up so high on this list? The truth is, the two of them have great chemistry and the story is one of the ones that has always resonated for me. We also get the bonus of the awful ending that made us feel like awful people that Sparks treated us to in the book.
2. The Notebook (2004): I honestly can’t pick a favorite – #2 and #1 are interchangeable for me depending on the day. The Notebook is actually one of my favorite books of all time (top 10), and the intertwined love stories of the older and younger couples translates beautifully. The film would not have popped the way it did without the genuine sparks between Gosling and McAdams, but with the growing stars at the helm, it’s a can’t miss. If you can watch this and not cry, then I honestly have to wonder if you have a heart. It’s also worth noting that this is Sparks’s only movie that actually has a happy ending, because if you think about it, at least the central couple enjoyed a lifetime together before being separated by illness. Food for thought.
1. A Walk to Remember (2002): Who could forget Mandy Moore and Shane West after their performances in this heart wrenching tale of first love and staggering loss? He’s the perfect boyfriend. She’s the dying girl with the grace and hope we all pray we’d have in her shoes. Their love is young and pure and joyous and it reminds us all of the first time we felt that way–like we might explode any moment. From the story to the performances to the rather perfectly timed, bittersweet ending, this one often lands at the top of my list.
So, do you agree with me, fellow people who love to cry at movies? Disagree? Which is your favorite and which earned more groans than tears? Are you looking forward to The Longest Ride? I’d love to hear!
Phil Miller’s days on Earth have been extended.
The Last Man on Earth will be coming back next year for a second, FOX announced in a press release on Wednesday.
“We knew we had something special with THE LAST MAN ON EARTH. It’s one of those rare shows that continues to add depth and dimension to its unique premise, week after week,” said FOX’s President, Entertainment, David Madden. “We are so thrilled that this incredibly bold, original and inventive series has been embraced by both fans and critics, and we cannot wait to see where the creative genius and inspired vision of Will, Phil and Chris take us in Season Two.”
The Last Man on Earth chronicles the life and adventures of Phil Miller (Will Forte), an average guy – and humanity’s last hope – who discovers what life is like when no one is telling you what you can and cannot do. The series also stars Kristen Schaal, January Jones and Mel Rodriguez.
The final two episodes of the first season will air Sunday, April 12 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.
