WrestleMania Weekend 2015 – Day 3: WWE Hall of Fame

“Afterlife” in the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. world could have meant many things. It could have been a metaphorical reference to our main characters. It could have been a physical reference as to where people go when faced with a certain situation. In this case, it was a little bit of both, the title acting as a place and also an emotion.

As it turns out, “afterlife” is where we find Skye has been taken after Gordon rescued her from the forest last week. It’s kind of like China and kind of like a Buddist Temple and also kind of like Rivendell, and it’s called “afterlife” because no one really knows what to call it. More importantly, it’s a place where people with powers are taken, in order to “transition.” Lincoln (Luke Mitchell) is Skye’s “transitioner” whom she meets when she wakes with some strange acupuncture treatments. (He immediately offers her popcorn, which is always a nice way to start a relationship. At least, in my opinion.)

Skye isn’t interested in popcorn, though. She’s scared and worried and wants to get in contact with her friends, which seems to be out of the question. She’s also concerned that people are looking at her strangely. Lincoln tells her that it’s because she’s, well, different. Everyone in “afterlife” has a gene in them that allows them to change, but while they sit and wait around for their day of glory – if it ever comes – Skye went through it the old fashioned way, with a diviner and a Kree Temple. Apparently, that hasn’t happened in years.

But being a “celebrity” is the exact opposite of what Skye wants. People may be envious of her powers but she never wanted them, and she also knows that Gordon took Cal and Raina. Lincoln brings her to his room and tries to indulge her with pizza night, even though Skye still wants nothing more than to get rid of the thing that has caused so much grief in her life. But Lincoln tells her the transition is now irreversible – her powers are here to stay.

To help win her over, Lincoln brings Skye to the top of a mountain, which I guess is kind of like an form of odd therapy. He shows off his own powers, and tells her that when he came out of the mist, every cell in his body had a different electrical charge. “Skye’s the limit,” he says as he elevates her by using only his energy. Pun absolutely intended, by the way. It’s a sweet moment and Lincoln isn’t playing around – he’s not out for some ulterior motive (or so it seems.) He’s just trying to genuinely help.

Coulson and Hunter, meanwhile, are off having some buddy cop adventures that are pretty amazing. From stealing a truck (nice work, Hunter) to holing themselves up at Banner’s cabin where Skye was taken (and finding footage of what happened), it’s really fun to see these two working together, even if Coulson is fighting some major guilt over losing Skye. He feels responsible for what happened, and it’s clear he really thinks of Skye as his daughter – and as someone who needs to be protected. But he also feels that he fails S.H.I.E.L.D. as a whole with Bobbi and Mack’s secret, and you can’t blame him for wanting to accept Hunter’s whiskey. To Coulson’s credit, he’s not angry, at least, not in the way May is. He understands both sides of the story, even though Hunter can’t. It’s nice to see Hunter on Coulson’s side and so dedicated, especially after everything that we’ve heard about him being flighty. And it’s clear he really wants to do the right thing and be a part of a team he cares about. I just hope that means Bobbi and him get to reconcile in some way down the line, because I’m still all aboard that train.

Coulson ends up triggering the alarm on the safehouse which Hunter is pissed about, but as it turns out, Coulson wants them to be found. He wants to take down the carrier, and he has reinforcement on the way – only one person he’d trust – the identity of which he keeps Hunter in the dark about. If it’s not May, then who might it be?

Deathlok. Yep. Coulson has called back Deathlok. Kudos to Marvel for keeping the character’s return pretty much underwraps, because I would’ve never expected him to show up like that. It seems Deathlok is definitely reformed (and knows how to fly a helicarrier, which gets him definite points.) Coulson seems to be building up a nice little team here between Deathlok and Hunter, but I have to wonder what his eventual end game is. He understands that Gonzales isn’t exactly out to get him, and he said those words himself. But it seems like he’s still trying to protect as much as he can from his own life, building his own side of this war.

Back on the Bus, Gonzales argues with Bobbi about what happened with Skye. Bobbi makes it clear that she’s on Skye’s side – and she also defends Coulson while she’s at it. Points for Bobbi! They still need to get into the box, though, and for that, they need Fitz’ scientific mind. Gonzales tries to casually bribe both Fitz and Simmons by appealing to them, telling them that there are no prisoners here – they’re all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents wanting to do the right thing. But FitzSimmons remain loyal to Coulson, refusing to help.

And as it turns out (unsurprisingly), May is remaining loyal to Coulson, as well. When Gonzales asks her if her ties lie with S.H.I.E.L.D. or Coulson, May answers that they’re the same. Gonzales firmly believes that with Coulson’s alien DNA, he should be on the Index, reminding May that “you of all people know what happens when powered people lose control.” We get a shot of a file that says Behrain, another ominous reference to having to put someone down (“isn’t that why they call you the Cavalry?”) and given that next week’s episode is entirely Melinda May focused, it’s safe to say we’re being set up for some crucial May back story that will no doubt inform our current plot.

Gonzales isn’t exactly happy to find out that Deathlok is working with Coulson, along with Hunter. He decides then and there that he wants The Bus, and he also wants Agent May – easier said than done, as we know. Gonzales offers May a seat on their board (no catch, it seems), and then tells her that they’re going to bring Coulson in. Remember: Gonzales doesn’t want enemies. Not when there’s a bunch of new threats out there.

Gordon appears to Cal, who is upset with his treatment. Cal isn’t dumb – he’s figured out they’ve found Skye, and goes into complete “crazy desperate dad mode” as he ends up in a fight against Gordon. He loses, obviously, because you can’t really win against an eyeless Inhuman, but when he asks why he can’t see his own daughter, Gordon tells him it’s because he has no self-control. Cal’s actions (or history) hasn’t only sealed his fate, but the fate of his daughter as well…which is something that doesn’t seem like it will bode well for Skye down the road.

As Skye and Lincoln continue their talk about powers, Skye figures out Raina is actually in the same place, despite Lincoln saying otherwise. It’s interesting to hear Skye freak out and talk about how “I am not what she is,” when that’s what most of her friends are saying, just in another way. And it’s an interesting dichotomy, because Skye is so terrified to be what Raina is. Yet, as Raina implies, they’re more parallel than they want to admit: both orphans, both given their powers without wanting them, and both trying to figure out where they belong. Skye finds where Raina has been hiding and argues with her about what she did in the Temple, blaming her for what happened to Trip. Her powers get the best of her, but before she can actually let loose and kill Raina, she’s interrupted and saved by…

…her mother. Yes. Skye’s mother. Not that Skye knows that yet. But we know it, and I can’t wait to see what this means. Mom talks with Skye and convinces her to stay, telling her that she would be her guide and train her, if she wanted to remain in afterlife. And maybe it’s the fact that, well, Skye’s mother knows how to talk to her, but Skye accepts.

So what does Skye’s mother do next? Shows up to Cal via those teleportation powers, and confirms that it is their daughter who has come back to them. The family drama is real…and it’s about to get a lot more complicated than Coulson is prepared for, now that both parents are ready to fight for their Daisy.

It’s a bit of a gut punch when we end the episode with Fitz leaving. But remember, Fitz finds out via Mack that Simmons has gone ahead with opening the box, and the fact that she’s apparently broken their shared trust angers him enough to realize he can’t stay around. Even though we got to see Simmons stand up to him, it still hurt to see Fitz leave for good — yet while we mourned the apparent loss of our Science Bros, the payoff was worth it. We ended the episode with Simmons apologizing for the fact that she just couldn’t figure out how to open the box, and that it was pretty much useless. But when Fitz got into a cab and opened his bag, the real toolbox was inside…along with a note from Jemma and a sandwich just the way Fitz likes it. (Throwback to season one, everyone!)

FitzSimmons are back. And they’re not letting anything bring them down.

Odds & Ends:

Grant Ward. He’s finally returning, and I’m guessing based on Coulson’s words that he’ll have a huge role in the final run of episodes.
That hologram trick was super neat. And the fact that Trip (R.I.P.) and Fitz built a 21^st century Howling Commandos kit? That’s even neater. I really want one of these. I just want one of those kits in general, actually.
I absolutely love the Bobbi and Simmons BFF relationship. Even though it became clear at the end of the hour that FitzSimmons had a game plan of their own, I still love watching the two of them interact and bond. I also do think that Simmons really does look up to and care about Bobbi…it’s just that right now, all their relationships are strained too much to connect on more than a “fall on your own sword” level.
Speaking of relationships: I am all on board the buddy cop show with Coulson and Hunter. Please someone at Marvel make this happen.

What did you think of the episode? Sound off, and let me know!

Follow me on Twitter at @atvgeek82.

WWE RAW Recap, 4/6/2015: Triple Title Threat

By

Matt Perri

-

April 7, 2015

Happy MLB Opening Day to everyone.

I apologize for the lateness of this recap. We had a late night and got in and pretty much fell asleep from a long day…so…

LET’S GO…

We are LIVE(!!!) from Austin, Texas for WWE RAW!!!

Byron Saxton is in for the pretty-much-dead Michael Cole and he’s joined by JBL and Booker.

JBL: “I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS THIS WEEK!!! I HAD SURGERY AND I’M HERE!!!” (LONG, VERY uncomfortable silence as the other announcers realize that they could be next.)

Seth Rollins is in the ring with Kane and J&J Security. Big Show joins them. Crowd won’t stop booing. Big Show reminds us that this “our champion”, the guy who got a huge pop just because he was beating up Roman Reigns. Rollins says that the biggest takeaway from WrestleMania wasn’t the large attendance or the Twitter “trend” record. It was that they always wins. He reminds us that Triple H and Show both went over at WrestleMania. He tries to pump up Kane by saying, “Kane was THERE!” Show pumps up Rollins as the new champ, then kisses his ass. Rollins tries to talk up Kane again, but Randy Orton interrupts.

Orton’s here to remind everyone that he BEAT Rollins at WrestleMania. He wants the Championship and asks Kane to grant the match. Kane says that, tonight, there will be a Triple Threat Match to determine the #1 Contender for the match at Extreme Rules. It will feature: Roman Reigns, Ryback for some reason and Randy Orton. But, Orton’s got another match…against him. Rollins isn’t happy at all.

The clicking sound you hear is everyone switching to Better Call Saul.

MATCH #1: Kane vs. Randy Orton
Orton hits a couple clotheslines in the corner, then puts Kane in another corner, but get gets sent outside by a Kane uppercut. When we come back from break, Kane boots Orton and pins him for two. He clotheslines Orton in the corner, beats on him and hits a Sidewalk Slam for two. Kane hits a suplex and gets two. Kane tries a Chokeslam but Orton breaks the hold and kicks Kane outside the ring. He goes for the Elevated DDT and hits it. Orton goes for the RKO but Kane leaves the ring. Orton chases and beats Kane against the barricade…so, Kane retaliates with a chair and it’s a DQ at 9:01 which didn’t feel that long at all thanks to five minutes of Popeye’s ads and commercials for 5 Gum.
WINNER: Randy Orton via DQ
RATING: 1/2*. Arbitrary, pointless and DOA and went nowhere before an abrupt, shitty end. What do Kane and Big Show have on Triple H and Vince right now? Why did Orton not go over here?!

Post-match, both guys almost hit their big moves, then break away from one another.

Speaking of pointless and arbitrary:

TONIGHT: Ryback faces Luke Harper

ALSO: Roman Reigns vs. Big Show

Byron and the guys address AJ’s pregnancy “retirement”.

Backstage, Brad Maddox is talking to Kane who yells at Maddox. Then Rollins shows up to yell at Kane because Kane’s not the “Director of Operations”…? Anyhow, Rollins is tired of Kane “not getting it”: they’re supposed to be protecting Rollins. Kane reminds Rollins that Rollins wouldn’t even be champion without his help at Money in the Bank. Kane says that it’s his job to book Rollins against a “viable opponent” at Extreme Rules. Rollins says it’s probably time for Kane to step down from Director of Operations and that Triple H and Steph would agree with him. Kane says that Triple H and Steph are on vacation in the “South Pacific with no internet or cell phone connection”. What, did they travel to Rogers and Hammerstein’s South Pacific? Rollins says that Kane will answer for his bullshit when they get back. Kane retaliates and says that Rollins is in a match…NEXT!

Well, not really “next”. Byron has to talk with JBL and Booker about Brock Lesnar going into Hairless Wookie Rage last week and then we get clips of it.

Seth is out for his match — NEXT!

Oh, wait, now we get a commercial break. So, like, after that.

When we come back, Seth’s opponent is…Neville?! We’re already ready to job Neville?! Jeebus in a canoe, this show…Rollins sarcastically introduces him to the audience and has Neville introduce himself. Neville doesn’t talk, so Rollins pretty much calls him chicken shit and tells him to sit this out. Neville kicks him instead.

MATCH #2: WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) vs. Neville (non-title)
Neville hits a nice arm drag and rolls Rollins up for a one count. Rollins comes back, knocking him to the mat with a shoulderblock. Rollins stomps at him as JBL talks about “having surgery” for the 47th time. Neville does his gymnastic flip routine and kicks Rollins in the face, then sends him outside and leaps at him with a flipping splash. J&J tries to attack but Neville gets back into the ring. After a break, Neville and Rollins fight in the corner and Rollins trips him, sending him, face-first, into the buckle. Two count. He chokes Neville against the bottom rope as the crowd tries to pump Neville up. He makes a short comeback but Rollins just whips him into the buckle and drops some knees for two. Side headlock on Neville but Neville gets to his feet and breaks. Series of counters and Rollins hits a quick Enzuguri for two. Rollins hits a knee to the gut against the ropes as Booker says that “Neville is a winner no matter what happens tonight.” Rollins punches Neville in the face a bunch of times and it’s another headlock. Neville fights out and hits a chinbreaker. Rollins whips him to the ropes and Neville hits a lariat and kicks. Rollins comes back with a huge running clothesline which flips Neville in a complete circle. It’s another two count. The two trade shots but Rollins goes for the Buckle Bomb. Neville counters it and goes for his finisher — but J&J get involved. Neville manages to kick Mercury away from him but Rollins manages to get up, grab Neville for the Buckle Bomb and Curb Stomp to close it at 12:01.
WINNER: Seth Rollins via Curb Stomp
RATING: ***. Not a bad match but Neville barely seemed to have any offense for most of it.

Post-match, Rollins & J&J beat up Neville and taunt him because fuck the new guy.

TONIGHT: Triple Threat Match between Randy Orton, Roman Reigns and Ryback.

ALSO: John Cena REEEEEALLY doesn’t want the Franklin Mint ‘Murica Commemorative Plate Belt anymore! PLEASE TAKE IT!

Furious 7 is #1 at the Box Office this week. No surprise there.

Out comes John Cena for the “Open Challenge”. Cena pumps up the crowd, hits a cheap city pop, brags about beating Rusev, CHAMP IS HERE, etc. He says that Rusev wants a rematch with him at Extreme Rules. Cena says he wants to have a Championship Match RIGHT HERE IN AUSTIN, TEXAS!!! He says he’s not gonna just cough the belt up, though. He tells somebody to come out and get some…and it’s fucking Stardust. The crowd reacts by hitting the snack bar. Wow. Shouldn’t Neville have been booked here instead?

MATCH #3: John Cena (champion) vs. Stardust (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship
Crowd chants for Cody who screams at them and tells them “IT’S STARDUST!” Some heavy countering and Dust hits a Sunset Flip for two. Cena sends him out of the ring but Star holds the top rope and flips back in. Cena slams him and drops punches. He hits Move #1 and stops. Star backs off and goes into a corner. Cena just tosses him around like a rag doll, then hits a VERY delayed Vertical Suplex for two. Cena clotheslines Star’s head off and gets two. Headlock by Cena. Star breaks but runs into Cena’s shoulderblock which must be like running into a wall. Finally, Star just rolls out of the ring and addresses the crowd. After a break, we’re back to the latest Cena massacre. He has Star in the AA but Star actually escapes, hits a buckle and dropkicks Cena, getting two. Cena runs at Star in the corner but gets a boot to the face and can barely pretend that hurt. Two count by Star. Star leaps at Cena again and Cena counters with a sitting Powerbomb of sorts for two. Another AA sees Star landing on his feet and hitting a quick Alabama Slam for two. Star sets up his finisher but Cena comes back with a Falling Body Slam for two. Cena sets up for the AA AGAIN but Star escapes for the third time and hits a Sunset Flip for two. Cena gets up and hits Move #3. He goes for the 5KS but Star kicks him and hits a DDT for two which we recap about two or three times because NOBODY EVER DDT’S CENA! Star hits a nice splash off the ropes and NEARLY gets a fall. Star runs at Cena but Cena grabs his leg and hits the STF. Star escapes and hits Cross Rhodes — NEARLY getting another fall. Cena instantly gets up and hits his brand-new movie, that goofy Springboard Stunner plus an AA to retain at 13:16.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: John Cena via AA
RATING: ***. Complete mis-match on paper which translated to a crappy first half. Got way better as it went along. The problem is that I really didn’t believe, for one second, that Cena is in any danger.

STILL TO COME: The Triple Threat Match

TONIGHT: Reigns vs. Big Show

ALSO TONIGHT: Ryback vs. Luke Harper

MATCH #4: The Bella Twins (Brie Bella & WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella) vs. Naomi & Paige
Paige and Brie start. They lock up and Brie slaps Paige who comes back, pissed, clotheslining Brie. Paige charges the ropes but Nikki distracts her. Brie knocks Paige out of the ring. She kicks at Paige and puts her back into the ring, hitting the Drunken Knee or Brie Mode or whatever we’re calling that. Brie puts on the CHINLOCK OF DOOM. Paige breaks but gets tossed to the mat. Brie tags Nikki and the twins hit a double suplex. Nikki puts Body Scissors on Paige, then breaks the hold and struts around the ring. She slams Paige against the buckle, then runs at her and misses. Hot tag to Naomi which gets nothing from the crowd. Naomi works over Nikki, then knocks Brie off the mat. Naomi misses an attack off the ropes and hits the fucking stupid Ass Bump. Brie comes into the ring to help. Paige kicks Nikki’s head off, then ejects Brie from the ring. Naomi hits a Leg Scissor DDT which, again, gets nothing from the crowd. That seals it up at 5:14 as JBL says “FUNK IS ON A ROLL” so many times, even my neighbor Tweets WWE to tell them to take JBL off the air.
WINNERS: Naomi & Paige
RATING: 1/2 a *. I’m all for giving Divas a chance…but there’s nothing going on with them. We went from Nikki feuding with her sister to Brie suddenly not giving a shit about her sister’s abuse to Nikki winning the title to Nikki feuding with Paige to Nikki feuding with both AJ and Paige to…constant tag team matches. I have a feeling this is the status quo until Total Divas restarts.

The Primetime Players cut a promo about how awful The New Day is.

MATCH #5: Ryback vs. Luke Harper
Ryback beats up Harper in the corner but Harper comes back with a quick dropkick and uppercuts. One count. Ryback hits a Falling Press Slam but runs into a Superkick on a failed Meathook attempt. JBL: “FEED ME MORE? YEAH! THROUGH A STRAW!” Ryback falls outside and Harper goes after him, beating up on him. He rolls Ryback into the ring but misses the Clothesline From Hell. Ryback runs at him and Harper hits Winds of Change for two. Harper hits a Crossface but Ryback breaks it and hits a suplex. Shell Shock and we’re done at 2:34.
WINNER: Ryback via Shell Shock
RATING: *1/4. Routine squash.

The New Day is backstage with Renee who FINALLY acknowledges that the fans are saying, “New Day sucks”. Kofi: “It hurts that they say that…but we clap…or we SNAP…” Uh. Wut. Big E talks about signing autographs. Because he can clap. Then they clap.

MATCH #6: The New Day (Xavier Woods & Big E) (w/ Kofi Kingston) vs. Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara & Kalisto)
Kofi still does the New Day clap. The crowd does the New Day Sucks chant. So, this is the Painfully Ironic Day now, I guess. The New Day beats up Cara in the corner with no mercy whatsoever. Woods puts a chinlock on Cara but Cara breaks. Woods immediately hits some kicks to his gut and gets a two count. Big E gets in and continues the beating. Cara manages to flip over E and tag Kalisto who destroys Woods. E tries to attack but Cara dumps him.. Woods tries a cheap roll-up but only gets two. Kalisto hits his finisher, then dives at E and Kofi. Tag to Cara who hits the Flying Reverse Senton for the win.
WINNERS: Lucha Dragons
RATING: **. Short match, but effective. Kalisto and Sin Cara are an impressive team.

NEXT: Roman Reigns vs. Big Show

MATCH #7: Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
My feed cut out for part of this. It continues with Show choking Reigns against the bottom rope. Reigns comes back with punches but Show just grabs him and tosses him out of the ring. Show continues the beating outside but gets tossed into the ringpost on a counter by Reigns. Reigns dropkicks him in the head but Show comes back with a Spear. After break, Show has Reigns in the ring and hits a Side Suplex. Reigns gets to his feet because Show just walks around and/or stands there. Reigns comes back with a kick in the corner but Show grabs him and hits a Sidewalk Slam. Show goes for a Vader Bomb, hitting it perfectly. He gets two. Reigns gets to his feet and Show kicks him out of the ring again. Show follows, beats on him some more, then stands there and waits for Reigns to wake up and get back in the ring again. Show grabs him by the hair and just kinda stands there, looking at him. Reigns punches him, then hits three Superman Punches and Spear and we’re done at around ten minutes.
WINNER: Roman Reigns via Spear
RATING: *. Big, dull, boring — just like the other two matches involving the #1 contenders. Aren’t you glad we have to sit through another match with all three of them?

Kane is leaving a message for Triple H and Steph — despite the fact they’re on Gilligan’s Island. Natalya, Summer, Cameron and Alicia come in, squealing over Kane. They all want a “battle royal” to determine who the real #1 Contender should be for the Divas Championship, despite the fact that three of the four of them don’t do anything remotely meaningful.

Renee Young stops Reigns and wants to know his next move. Reigns holds up his fist and tells her wait and see.

Sheamus has new music to match his new look. It’s not bad at all. He wants everyone to know that he is what a “real man looks like”. He says grown-ups are speaking now. He says that the little go-getters don’t do much at all. He says that people criticize him for bullying smaller guys…but there aren’t really guys his size, so he has no choice. Mark Henry’s music hits and out he comes to job.

MATCH #8: Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
Sheamus isn’t having this and leaves the ring. He tells Henry not to waste his time — so Henry grabs him and tosses him back into the ring. Sheamus isn’t happy and tries to kick Henry. Henry grabs his leg and knocks him down. Sheamus fights back and clubs Henry across the neck. Henry blocks a move and dumps Sheamus from the ring. Henry chases and Sheamus just hits him in the face. Back in the ring, Sheamus tries for Ten Beats but Henry stops it at four. Sheamus knees him in the gut until he goes down. Sheamus picks him up again but Henry goes for the WSS, which Sheamus escapes. He hits the Brogue and we’re done.
WINNER: Sheamus via Brogue Kick
RATING: N/A. This was your typical semi-squash.

MATCH #9: The Miz vs. Damien Miz-dow
Miz-dow (who is still Miz-dow despite breaking free of Miz) immediately attacks Miz and it’s a brawl that spills outside the ring. Miz-dow runs Miz’s head into the mat, then picks him up and knees him in the head. Miz-dow kicks him in the corner, then chokes him. He tries to rush at Miz but Miz kicks him in the head and starts wailing on Miz-dow, kicking him in the head after a flurry of punches. Miz chokes Miz-dow against the middle rope and works him over in the corner. Miz-dow comes back and beats up Miz in the corner, nailing him with hard elbows. Miz-dow hits a quick suplex and drops an elbow. Miz gets to the ropes but Miz-dow won’t let him go, hitting him with hard knees. Miz finally drops out of the ring. Miz-dow chases him back in and Miz is on him, kicking away. Miz-dow regroups in the corner and Miz climbs up on him, grinding his face into the buckle. Miz-dow stands up and puts Miz on his shoulders, hitting an Electric Chair Drop. Miz-dow gets up and headbutts Miz who rolls out of the ring. Miz drops Miz-dow’s neck on the ropes and comes back in, rushing. Miz-dow quickly hits a clothesline, then a back/neckbreaker combo. He goes for the SCF but Miz blocks and it’s more brawling before Miz manages the cheap roll-up pin to end it.
WINNER: The Miz
RATING: ***1/2. This was the match of the night. These two fought with incredible intensity. Great stuff. Why they couldn’t wait until Extreme Rules is puzzling, but it’s fine.

NEXT: The main event…

MATCH #10: Ryback vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns in a Triple Threat Match for the #1 Contender’s Spot for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship
Ryback tries Shell Shock on Reigns but that doesn’t happen. Orton and Reigns dump him, then fight int he corner. Ryback comes roaring back into the fight and clotheslines Reigns who comes back with his leaping clothesline, getting two. Orton and Reigns trade shots and Orton hits a clothesline out of the corner. Ryback dumps Orton out of the ring and goes to work on Reigns…and, suddenly, the Authority is out in force on the entrance ramp. Ryback puts Reigns in the corner, then hits a powerslam. He attempts the Meathook but Orton comes in and hits clotheslines on both guys, then hits twin powerslams in stride. He goes for the Elevated DDT on Ryback but Reigns leaps up and clubs Orton in the head. Two count. Reigns hits about a half dozen clotheslines in the corner but Orton interferes. Reigns hits a Superman Punch on Orton. Ryback hits a Spinebuster on Reigns. Ryback goes for a Meathook, nailing Reigns. Nobody cares. Orton tries an RKO but Ryback fights out and hits a Spinebuster on Orton. He goes for Shell Shock but Orton escapes. Reigns hits a Spear on Ryback and rolls out of the ring. The Authority approaches the ring, so Reigns dives at all five guys. Rollins gets involved and fights off Reigns. Show hits a KO Punch to finish him off. Orton grabs Rollins’ hair and drags him in the ring, then hits an Elevated DDT. In comes J&J and Ryback hits them with Spinebusters. Orton hits an RKO and he’s the #1 Contender.
WINNER: Randy Orton via RKO.
RATING: **. This wasn’t that bad…it’s just stale.

Post-match, Rollins hits a Curb Stomp on Orton and stands tall as we go off the air.

OVERALL: **1/2. Nobody cares about any of the Main Event guys and it’s really weighing things down.

Er, that’s it.

‘Graceland’ Stars Daniel Sunjata and Aaron Tveit Talk ‘Sin Eating’ and Season 3

By

Erin Biglow

-

April 7, 2015

What happens when there’s a crack in the foundation? Fans of USA’s undercover cop drama “Graceland” are anxious to find out, considering the show’s season two finale saw lead character Mike Warren (Aaron Tveit) go into cardiac arrest and flatline after a vengeful foe’s deadly visit.

Or did he?

The Workprint sat down with Tveit and co-star Daniel Sunjata at NBCUniversal’s Summer Press Day in Pasadena, Calif. April 2 to discuss Mike’s fate, and how the rest of the agents will “narrow focus” and reconvene in light of what appeared to be a devastating loss — at least initially.

When the season two finale aired, you guys still didn’t know if you were going to have a third season or not. For all you knew, it could have been a series finale which, considering Mike’s condition, would have really left fans reeling — and did. So, when you got the news that a third season was greenlit after all, how did you react?

AARON TVEIT: I am in the first episode in some capacity, but I don’t want to say what that exactly is or when it is or how it plays out. But they’ve really found a good way to frame it all and make it work. Beyond that, I don’t want to say too much. We could have left it that way, but I’m glad that we didn’t. Even if it did, like, the show begins with me graduating from the FBI academy and ends with me dying? [laughs] I joked with the writers that if they did that, they could just insert a scene after me flatlining with [Courtney B. Vance] just picking up a phone and going, “Oh, damn.” [laughs] And that’s it. What would that have meant? I’m glad that’s not the case.

Briggs’ reaction to Mike’s apparent death was so emotional. This is an ensemble show, but you guys are ostensibly the two leads. The dichotomy between your characters positions you as essentially two sides of the same coin. I think, despite the ethically questionable things your characters have done, these are inherently good guys who are trying to do the right thing within their scope of really difficult circumstances. In terms of what’s on deck for season three, how do you think the structure of the show is going to be affected with regards to Mike’s fate? Sid is certainly being anchored as more of a consistent villain than we’ve seen in the past.

DANIEL SUNJATA: The plotline with Sid is something that is addressed at the very beginning. Where we leave off in season two is pretty much where we pick up for season three, almost out of necessity. We wouldn’t really be able to move forward or add any dimension or texture to the show unless we handle these things first. Plus, there were so many bad decisions made by so many members of the household moving toward the season two finale that a lot of that needs to be resolved. Two of the buzzwords for season three have been “atonement” and “penance,” and also “sin eating,” which is kind of an ambiguous term that only fans will understand when they actually start watching season three. We have a lot of making up to do if we are to maintain the integrity of the relationships in the house.

TVEIT: In season two, everyone was kind of on their own personal mission. They all had a goal in mind and a singular focus that got spread out and away from helping each other and trusting each other. I think that in season three, we’re bringing that back in and, like you said about Briggs and Mike, I think they’ve now learned that in the outset it seemed like they were such different people but they’re really similar, and on similar paths. Where we leave things off and can potentially go, I think they could begin to understand they can lean on each other and hopefully do some good instead of making these terrible decisions and having to compromise. That’s my hope for where the show’s going, that these people can come back together and actually affect some positive change instead of having to make these terrible choices all the time. They can actually, it sounds so cheesy, but do some good.

With the revelation that Paige gave up Mike’s location to Sid, what is Briggs going to do? How will the rest of the group handle this betrayal?

SUNJATA: We shall see. Paige is in a little bit of trouble. [laughs]

TVEIT: Yup. Everyone’s going to have to have to take responsibility for their actions, including her. So, I think that’ll be really interesting to see how that factors in with everything.

You both come from ensemble-driven backgrounds: theater, TV shows like “Rescue Me,” “Gossip Girl,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” et cetera. Obviously, things change from project to project in terms of how you approach a role, but are there any consistent philosophies you guys have learned along the way that help you with your work on “Graceland”?

SUNJATA: Every actor has their own approach to their craft, their own approach to the work. You have to trust that casting has done their job in bringing the right personality types as well as high levels of talent together. You can’t expect the other actors in the room to necessarily work the way you work. So, giving everybody their own space to approach things in their own way, and hoping as a group that there’s a chemistry in which everyone gels, and the final product will reflect that. Trying to muscle your way of doing things into a situation where there’s a group of other people trying to do the same thing is not the best approach.

TVEIT: And I think we’re really lucky that all the actors on our show really take this seriously and, it sounds so silly, are actually prepared every day. They have a clear vision of what they’re doing, so once that’s off the table you don’t have to worry about it and we can get to work and play and see what these scenes are. It’s always interesting on our show; you would think that a scene in the house with all six of us would be the hardest thing to shoot, but those scenes actually seem to just go and happen and take their own life, and I think that’s a testament to how prepared everyone is.

SUNJATA: It also helps that we work with a creator like Jeff Eastin and producers who operate collaboratively and take our input. If we float a really sucky idea, they’ll be like, “That sucks. Not going to do that,” and if it’s something good they’ll say, “You know what? We didn’t think of it that way,” and it’ll end up being reflected in the final product.

TVEIT: Yeah, it really feels like we’re part of the artistic process of this show, which is a nice thing.

There’s some meta layers to the show with you guys playing characters who are, essentially, playing characters. How does that affect your approach? Undercover cops are, in many ways, actors themselves.

SUNJATA: It can be a little confusing. I call it the Russian doll effect, kind of like a fractal. Every time you zoom in, another one opens up. So, staying in touch with Jeff, keeping a close relationship with your showrunner, there’s somebody who can always help you place the event of a particular scene in the right context so you remember what to play and what not to play, like what I know as Daniel but Briggs is not supposed to know in this particular moment. That can be hard to keep track of.

TVEIT: It’s a lot of fun, and a huge challenge as an actor to do that, because you’re never just doing one thing. You’re never having one thought or one feeling about something. A lot of times, you don’t want anyone else to know how you really feel so you may be projecting something else. I’ve thought a lot about the first season when there was this big secret that I was investigating Briggs, and I always had to write it out, map it out for myself what the audience knew that the other characters didn’t. So then, in my coverage and my close-ups, how looks and the way I reacted was a nod to the audience, but the other people didn’t know that. It’s a really interesting dynamic to play, and you can go as deep as you want.

Let’s talk a little bit about the themes of “Graceland.” Daniel, you mentioned atonement earlier. Jeff Eastin has talked about revenge and justice in context of the show, and in one interview he cited a Chinese proverb that basically says, “If you seek revenge, be prepared to dig two graves.” Do you think that’s a perspective from which the characters could benefit as well, or do they not even think about it like that?

TVEIT: Well, I think that if there is a going forward with Mike Warren, that’s something he’s really going to have to deal with. Season two was this kind of Shakespearian, “King Lear” ambition trip that he was on, and he was completely blinded by it. Hopefully, he’ll have some self-reflection and realize that if this is going to continue he needs a whole new approach. So, I think that’s something that really rings true for me with Mike, especially.

SUNJATA: I think it’s safe to say we’re aware that if retribution becomes our primary goal and objective, we’ve seen where that kind of pointed, one-minded focus – especially when something selfish is the motivating force behind it – can lead. I think ultimately we’re interested in coming together as a house again and trying to, as Aaron keeps saying, do some good and actually affect some positive change instead of just racking up all these dead bodies everywhere we go.

Right. And in terms of some of the interpersonal relationships between your characters and the others, of course, there’s Briggs, Charlie and the baby to think about. So there’s a lot more at stake than just yourselves.

SUNJATA: Oh, yeah, that’s still going on. There’s that thing, too. [chuckles]

Yes, that.

SUNJATA: What will happen with that is something we’re obviously not allowed to speak about, but we do begin season three with that being something that still needs to be addressed, for sure. I absolutely love working with Vanessa Ferlito, by the way. She’s such a good actress.

I loved her in “Grindhouse,” definitely.

SUNJATA: She’s great in “Grindhouse.”

TVEIT: She’s awesome. She’s one of the most natural, just grounded people I’ve ever worked with. She’s great, man.

SUNJATA: But the fact we’re not gonna have the majority of our scenes in Briggs’ bedroom or kitchen this season, I am happy about that.

Aaron, I know you said you’re at least involved in the first episode of next season in “some capacity,” but regardless of what happens to Mike, his presence is always going to be felt on the show. Season one kind of focused on Briggs, season two kind of focused more on Mike. As far as you guys going forward, can you join forces from here on despite what might prove to be a major shift?

TVEIT: Yeah, I think that’s what’s really exciting is that these guys have finally figured out that they’re very, very similar. All these guys are A-players, but [Mike and Briggs] are double-A. They’re brilliant. They just, instinctively, are really great agents in ways maybe the others aren’t. I think they’ve finally realized they have something together that could really do some good things. The core of the show, too, is that it is this complicated relationship where we are friends and it’s a mentor/mentee relationship, but there’s also the fact that I was investigating him. It’s just a really complicated thing, and the kind of in and out of that and going back and forth is where the show lives, and how all the conflict can emanate from that place.

Jeff has talked about how he enjoyed leaving these loose ends. Without knowing if there would be a season three or not, the finale could have been a definitive ending depending on how you interpret it. But there’s still a lot left out in the open. Do you think the show will continue maintaining that framework, or start working toward some real closure?

TVEIT: I think we’ll definitely have some closure from what was started before, but then as far as the end of where this season is going and beyond, I don’t really know.

SUNJATA: One thing they definitely seem to be working toward is instead of having plotlines for each individual character move in different directions, they’re starting to narrow focus and have us reconvene as a house. It’s reestablishing, I think, the balance of power and chemistry that kicked the show off.

Do you guys even try to project into the future about what you think might happen to your characters, or do you like to stay in the present moment and deal with what the script sets forth as it’s written?

TVEIT: Jeff gives us kind of an overall scope of where the year may be going, but then the details of how we’re going to get there are left in the grey. I think it’s good to have an idea where we’re going in the end, you know, I mean obviously you don’t ever want to play the end of something, but to blindly walk through it would be really tough. So, I’m appreciative of that, but I also enjoy reading the scripts and being surprised on a week-to-week basis, too. It’s an interesting balance and I’m grateful he fills us in a little bit.

Yeah. Some of the benefit of working with a 13-episode season on basic cable is you’re able to have both structure and content freedom that you’re not necessarily given on a network show or a feature-length project or a theatrical production. So, what are some of the benefits you’ve experienced working with USA Network?

TVEIT: It’s great. I think it’s an ideal amount of time. Trying to do this kind of serialized story over 22 episodes and maintaining that throughline would be so hard.

SUNJATA: That’d be crazy.

TVEIT: I think that’s why a lot of these shows that do that many episodes are procedural, just one and done for an hour. That’s why that formula works. But this seems to be really great for our number of episodes.

SUNJATA: I would agree. I would agree.

Are “Graceland” fans in for heartbreak or happiness? Share your thoughts in our comment section, and find out if Mike Warren returns to the house for good when “Graceland” kicks off its third season Thursday, June 25 at 10/9c on USA. Check out the first teaser below!

What happens when there’s a crack in the foundation? Find out when Graceland returns this summer. #GracelandTV https://t.co/aHSSkfJFkU

— Graceland (@GracelandTV) March 31, 2015

Follow Erin on Twitter: @ErinBiglow

‘Better Call Saul’ Review – “Marco”

By

Geoff Peel

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April 7, 2015

I never thought I’d look at Saul’s gaudy white Cadillac or pinky ring as sentimental tokens, but after seeing the season finale, “Marco”, they take on new meaning. More than eye-catching statement pieces, they’re an ode to his bygone friend. Those tacky accoutrements sum up the dichotomy of Saul Goodman and Jimmy McGill: on the surface he’s a con man but underneath it all he’s a good guy.

This episode – directed by the creator of Saul Goodman, Peter Gould – covers a lot of ground, but it also lets scenes develop from innocuous starting points. During a never-ending game of Bingo, Jimmy’s Dalai Lama demeanor cracks and he divulges further information regarding the event that landed him in jail, made him beholden to his brother, brought him to the Georgia O’Keefian “hellscape” of Albuquerque, which ultimately led to Chuck’s betrayal. The “Chicago sunroof” incident is yet another example of how Jimmy’s (arguably justifiable) actions of defecating on/in a car, leads to the universe reciprocating in kind.

Then there’s the Coin scene, where we see “Miles dusting off the trumpet.” After hearing so much about Slippin’ Jimmy, we see him at work. Sure, we got a glimpse of his skills in “Hero” with the Rolex con, but we were observing that through the eyes of the mark, as opposed to he and Marco’s points of view. During this scene and the subsequent montage, Jimmy and Marco reel their marks in with misdirection, using their greed against them. While this may cause some to yearn for the days when smartphones couldn’t quash the ability to pass as Kevin Costner; it’s Jimmy’s talent to tell a story that sell the cons.

Despite a slew of successful rinky-dink scams, his crowded inbox of elderly clients draw Jimmy back to Albuquerque. It’s hard to say if it’s desire to help or guilt that motivates him; either way it’s the right thing to do. Conversely, it’s Jimmy’s desire to be a good friend that keeps him in town for “one last job”, and when that phrase is uttered you know there’ll be a hitch.

Sadly Marco’s passing and his dying words are detrimental to Jimmy’s life in Albuquerque, leaving us to wonder what could have been. While he’s walking into the courthouse, practicing for an interview that will lead him toward everything he has striven for, it’s the memory of Marco that causes him to abandon that life. Seeking guidance, he turns to Mike who echoes a version of his code, but Jimmy (or is it time we call him Saul) alludes that his motivation to do the morally right thing was a facade before he drives off.

I’ll argue (and maybe erroneously so, since we’re only one season in) that Better Call Saul is the anti-Breaking Bad. Where it’s predecessor showed the transformation of a wolf shedding his sheep’s clothing, this show illustrates the process of a sheep donning a snazzy pinstriped wolf suit. Walt had a darkness to him, and despite amassing an obscene amount of money, he was never satisfied. He stayed in the drug game because “he was good at it”. Now we see Jimmy donning a hardened exterior, but I don’t believe it’s genuine; he just doesn’t have the stomach for it (as we saw in “Mijo”).

Even if they’re wrong, you can only be told by your friends and family “you are who you are” and “you can’t change” until you start to believe it. Even though Jimmy vows that he’s never going to let “doing the right thing” come in his way again; you can’t change who you are – or at least that’s what everyone keeps saying.

STEVE HOLT! ‘Arrested Development’ Gets 17 More Episodes

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April 7, 2015

Put on your chicken suit and take your Teamocil because ladies, gents, and hook-handed creatures we’re getting more Arrested Development. According to producer Brian Grazer;

“People are loyal to it, and we’re going to do another 17 episodes,” Grazer said. So stay tuned for Arrested Development.”

For those who weren’t fans of the fourth season on Netflix, I could see how this would be frightening news. That season was a mess and not having the actors together ruined the thing we all loved most about the show, the love and affection in the Bluth family. However, Ron Howard has said that he’ll be recording new narration while Mitch Hurwitz is re-editing the series to fit together more chronologically. Hey, it’s something, amirite?

To all you nay-sayers who are hesitant about more Arrested Development, there are dozens of us who want it to continue. DOZENS.

Suits, Graceland Return Dates Announced as USA Network Unveils Summer Lineup

By

Bilal Mian

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April 7, 2015

USA Network has announced their summer schedule during their Upfront this morning in New York City. The schedule can be seen below.

From the Press Release:

TUESDAY, JUNE 2 – CHRISLEY KNOWS BEST 9/8c

Season three of CHRISLEY KNOWS BEST promises even more over–the-top Todd Chrisley moments, as he and his wife Julie continue to raise their two teenagers, Chase and Savannah, eight-year-old son Grayson and two-year-old granddaughter Chloe – all under one roof. The 18-episode third season will air in two parts with 12 episodes this summer.

TUESDAY, JUNE 2 – ROYAL PAINS 10/9 c

Season seven of ROYAL PAINS brings us back to the sun-drenched Hamptons with Hank (Mark Feuerstein) setting his sights on obtaining what’s been missing in his life, while Evan (Paulo Costanzo) juggles his promotion with his desire to start a family with Paige (Brooke D’Orsay) and Divya (Reshma Shetty) fights to keep her family together. The series also stars Ben Shenkman and Campbell Scott.

THURSDAY, JUNE 18 – COMPLICATIONS 9/8c and 10/9c

From the creator of “Burn Notice,” comes the fast-paced and unpredictable thriller, COMPLICATIONS. The series stars Jason O’Mara as Dr. John Ellison, a suburban doctor who, while still dealing with the emotional effects of his daughter’s death, intervenes in a drive-by shooting, saving a young boy’s life. The series also stars Jessica Szohr, Beth Riesgraf (“Leverage”), and Lauren Stamile (“Burn Notice”).

TUESDAY, JUNE 23 – WWE TOUGH ENOUGH 8/7c

WWE TOUGH ENOUGH is an action-packed competition reality show from the ratings juggernaut WWE. Featuring a new format, with live elements, the series gives unknown athletes a chance at being crowned the next WWE Superstar or Diva. Fans can expect harder challenges, fiercer competition and rivalries that are more dramatic than ever.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24 – SUITS 9/8c

In the fifth season premiere, Pearson Specter Litt has scored a hard-fought victory, but the fight has left the firm shaken. Although she avoided jail time, Donna (Sarah Rafferty) has left Harvey (Gabriel Macht), after more than a decade of working together. She is now working for his long-time rival Louis (Rick Hoffman). And while Jessica (Gina Torres) readjusts to being single, Mike (Patrick J. Adams) and Rachel (Meghan Markle) are giddy after his marriage proposal.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24 – MR. ROBOT 10/9c

This techno thriller follows Elliot (Rami Malek), a young programmer who works as a cyber-security engineer by day and a vigilante hacker by night. When the mysterious leader (Christian Slater) of an underground hacker group recruits him to destroy the firm he is paid to protect, he must make the decision of a lifetime. MR. ROBOT also stars Portia Doubleday (“Her”), Carly Chaikin (“Suburgatory”) and Martin Wallström (“Simple Simon”).

THURSDAY, JUNE 25 – GRACELAND 10/9c

Season three resumes after an attack on Mike (Aaron Tveit). Paul Briggs (Daniel Sunjata) gets coerced into a high-risk operation, while his pregnant counterpart Charlie (Vanessa Ferlito) is on a mission to find the person who nearly killed her. Joe ‘Johnny’ Tuturro (Manny Montana), Dale Jakes (Brandon Jay McLaren) and Paige (Serinda Swan) each seek normalcy as federal agents with the FBI, DEA and ICE living in an undercover world of their own.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 4 – PLAYING HOUSE 10/9c

The critically acclaimed comedy returns for a season two with an innovative windowing structure that, each week, will allow viewers to preview next week’s episode on their Video-On-Demand platforms. Childhood best friends Maggie Caruso (Lennon Parham) and Emma Crawford (Jessica St. Clair) are in store for their biggest adventure yet — raising a baby. This season, Maggie and Emma navigate their way through life as co-parents to Maggie’s daughter Charlotte. The colorful residents of Pinebrook, CT also return, including Emma’s first love Mark (Keegan Michael Key).

The Top 10 Most Anticipated Films of Summer 2015

By

Matt DeGroot

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April 7, 2015

2

As hard as it is to believe, the 2015 summer movie season is almost upon us and to kick things off the staff here at The Workprint each submitted their votes for their most anticipated flicks being released in the months of May through August. Now we just have to hope that these ten movies end up living up to the hype…

10. Trainwreck – July 17

Summer blockbusters tend to be big, action spectacles but every summer deserves at least one great comedy and this summer’s most likely contender is this latest effort from Judd Apatow. Starring Comedy Central goddess Amy Schumer, this tale of a commitment-averse young woman meeting her match in a straight-laced doctor (SNL’s Bill Hader) looks full of genuinely funny characters with a heavy dash of inappropriateness tossed in for good measure.

9. Fantastic Four – August 7

This reboot of 20th Century Fox’s previously loathsome series of films based on Marvel Comic’s Fantastic Four was strikingly mysterious throughout most of its’ production process but the initial trailer promises something a little more slickly made and mature than previous attempts at bringing these characters to the screen. Led by wunderkind director Josh Trank (Chronicle) and an impressive cast including Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, and Jamie Bell, this iteration of the classic characters may prove to be one of this summer’s biggest surprises.

8. Tomorrowland – May 22

Tomorrowland director Brad Bird has become one of the most reliable directors working in Hollywood today so when you also throw in George Clooney, science fiction, and a mysterious mythology that includes a futuristic world created by Walt Disney himself, how can you not want to see this movie?

7. Inside Out – June 19

Disney’s PIXAR promises a return to greatness with this latest animated effort that takes us inside the human brain to see our individual emotions at work. Have any doubts? Checks out this voice cast: Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling, Diane Lane, Bill Hader, Lewis Black, and Phyllis Smith. Yeah…I’m on board for that amount of funny.

6. Ant-Man – July 17

Marvel Studios has become a staple of the summer movie season since 2008 with its’ ongoing saga of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and this summer boasts no less than two new entries, but this particular film might be their riskiest yet. With an extremely drawn out road to production, a last-minute swapping of directors, and questions about the movie’s overall tone, Ant-Man has some people wondering if this will be Marvel Studio’s first big blunder. Regardless of how it turns out heaven knows we’ll be in those theater seats to find out!

5. Pitch Perfect 2 – May 15

Who woulda thought that a sequel to a relatively small film about an all-girls acapella group would be ranked as one of this year’s most anticipated movies? Hell, who even thought it would get a sequel?! Such is the power of the much loved original film and its’ immensely likable cast. This sequel gets bonus Interesting Points for being directed by co-star Elizabeth Banks in her first effort behind the camera. Here’s hoping she nails it!

4. Jurassic World – June 12

Reviving a series that has essentially been extinct for the past 14 years is a risky proposition but they brought out the big guns to bring this one back with a bang. The name of said big guns? Chris. Pratt.

Oh, and he is friends with raptors. What else do you want?!

3. Mad Max: Fury Road – May 15

The nominees for Most Bugnuts Batshit Crazy Trailer of 2015 are…only this film. Seriously. Just watch it.

And weep.

2. Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation – July 31

Much like the currently explosive Fast and the Furious series, this particular franchise only seems to be getting better with age. Tom Cruise continues to be game for doing his own insane stunts and no matter how kooky he may be in real life, the man rarely lets us down on the big screen. We definitely choose to accept this mission.

1. Avengers: Age of Ultron – May 1

Expecting something else? I didn’t think so. Marvel Studio’s second big team-up film and their first flick of 2015 also happens to be the film that will kick off the summer movie season in just a few short weeks. We here at TheWorkprint gave this movie twice as many votes as any other film on this list and we know we’re not alone in our anticipation to see some of our favorite heroes together again on screen. Destined to break more box office records than Iron Man has gadgets, how can you possibly hope to resist?

Honorable Mentions

The following films may have missed making our top ten list but enough of us gave them a shoutout to be worth mentioning here:

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.: August 14

Southpaw: July 31

Minions: July 10

Straight Outta Compton: August 14

Aloha: May 29

Things to Miss

There are some big movies coming out this summer that NONE OF US bothered giving points to and well…that might be cause for concern. Approach these five movies with great caution:

Terminator: Genysis: July 1

Magic Mike XXL: July 1

Pixels: July 24

Entourage: June 5

Poltergeist: May 22

Our Favorite Smutty Show, ‘Outlander,’ Finally Returns With “The Reckoning”

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April 6, 2015

After months and months of waiting, I almost forgot Outlander was set to return. With Game of Thrones’ fifth season premiering next week and slew of other new shows in between Season One – Volume One and Season One – Volume Two (what a mouthful), I’m not surprised many others forgot about the show. Hopefully, Starz will take all this commentary to heart and eschew the mid-season break next year.

All that being said, Outlander did return on a good note, making sure to hit every emotional string possible. I have expressed my concern several times about how the writers would handle the story in “The Reckoning” but to be honest, I think it went rather well. Jamie started the episode with his narration this time around and while I’m still not a fan of narration, it was at least nice to have inner monologue about anything other than to “get home, or die trying.”

I want to take a moment here to discuss an overlooked character thus far on the show, and that’s Scotland itself. The Reckoning is rife with gorgeous shots of the Highlands, rushing rivers, rolling hills, rustic structures; I don’t think any show right now comes close to the natural scenery and fantastic cinematography of Outlander. That’s right, even you, Game of Thrones. There’s also something to be said for the amazing costumes each episode. Bonus! Today I learned how men (or maybe just Jamie) put on kilts.

After Jamie’s introduction into how he became a man, we retrace our steps through Jamie’s eyes, up until the moment he rescues Claire at Fort William from the clutches of Black Jack Randall. Tobias Menzies has taken Black Jack’s already sadistic persona and upped the ante. Much like Joffrey, you cannot help but love to hate him, wishing for his demise at every turn. It’s all made worse by the fact that in the show, I actually like Frank Randall. The entire scene at Fort William was beautifully laid out, exciting and emotionally intense, complete with a large explosion to sate action fans. Claire and Jamie’s leap into the dark water below was a beautiful metaphor for what’s to come for them.

Far and away the best part of the episode was the fight between Jamie and Claire after the rescue. Jamie expects and apology for not obeying his orders and Claire is having none of his bullshit. It was a raw glimpse into the shift from living for yourself to living for another person. As Jamie slumped to the ground, defeated by Claire’s stubbornness, I felt an empathy toward the character I never felt while reading the books. Stricken, he looked at his hands and choked out, “I went to you at Fort William, armed with an empty pistol and my bare hands.” And then the heartfelt, “The way you screamed.” Like Claire I went from furious that he would dare claim her as property to a gentle understanding that Jamie only acted the way he did out of fear.

Next came the scene, the one we’ve all been dreading. This was one of those situations where I wish I wasn’t a book reader and had no idea what was coming. Reading about Jamie’s “punishment” of Claire was difficult and at times, gruesome. History or not, I could not understand any of the reasoning. After, it was hard to care much about the romance between the two. However, in the show, it was almost comical. With light-hearted music matching the intensity of the couple’s fight, I found myself laughing as Claire threw objects at a smirking Jamie. The scene, while staying true to what was written and clansman rule, only solidified the warring forces that are Jamie and Claire. I still didn’t like it, but I understood it.

Their coming together is not an easy romance. Jamie is trying to live up to what the other clansmen expect of him, what they have always expected of men. Meanwhile, Claire, a modern and ferocious woman, fights back at every turn. Catriona Balfe is nothing short of phenomenal as Claire. Every look has meaning, every action laced with her strength.

While Jamie and Claire’s relationship is the sole focus of the episode (and get used to it because it’s the purpose of the entire series), there is some political dealing going on at Castle Leoch. In the books, many of these political scenes were a chore to read, as they were simply drenched in filler. However, Starz and its writers have streamlined the process and made it a joy to watch. Colum and Dougal’s familial relationship continues to spiral downhill, even with Jamie’s peacekeeping efforts.

It is the MacKenzie brothers’ compromise that spurns an idea within Jamie, making him realize that things not need be the way they’ve always been, and maybe when it comes to his relationship with Claire, tradition shouldn’t become a factor. It was a strong turning point for the character as he cast aside the values he’s also known and pledges his life and love to the woman before him. Claire accepts his change but ensures his loyalty with a knife at his throat in the midst of their romp on the floor. Not going to lie, I cheered a bit at her badassery. The episode ends with Claire finding an ill omen from the spurned Laoghaire and from the previews for episodes to come, it seems the young woman isn’t going away soon.

Overall, I am happy with Outlander’s returning episode. I don’t want to say it was worth the wait because I’ll be damned if I’m going to encourage this mid-season break nonsense, but it definitely pushed the show back into the my list of top shows for the year. Outlander continues to take what I would consider are mediocre books and turn them into something worth watching. That is a large part a credit to the two leads and the beautiful scenery highlighting their love.

Outlander airs Saturdays on Starz at 9pm EST.

‘Lip Sync Battle’ Review – Common Legends

By

Terence Chen

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April 6, 2015

Common vs John Legend

Tale of the Tape: You can tell this was obviously taped before the Academy Awards because no one mentioned the Oscar that is now sitting in both of their trophy cases. Common is a rapper, John Legend is an R+B singer. John Legend is also of course, the doting husband of the (I’m assuming) intoxicated color commentator Chrissy Teigen. She of course, as asserted that she will remain unbiased, which means siding with Common the whole time. FAIR PLAY CHRISSY TEIGEN!!!

Round 1

Common – I Want You Back

Song Choice: 7/10

Safe, comfortable, nothing too serious here. This song always conjures good memories. Safe choice Common, way to bring the Jackson 5 back to the forefront.

Execution: 4/10

Common is not crooning when there are no words. You absolutely cannot lip-sync a Michael Jackson song if you’re not lip syncing the noises that he makes when he’s not singing words. HEE-HOO!!! Get your shit together Common.

Staging: 5/10

Some basic dancing, harkening back to the Jackson 5 days, with LL Cool J and John Legend playing background dancers in the back. Nothing too crazy, as is expected for the first performance.

The Teigen Score: 5 out of 10 Teigens. Completely average, run of the mill. Safe choices, I guess that post-Oscar invincibility hasn’t happened yet. Note: LL COOL J, NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAS ANYONE EVER REFERRED TO MICHAEL JACKSON AS “MIKE JACK”. Thank you for completely losing whatever shred of your street cred you had left.

John Legend – Slow Motion

Song Choice: 10/10

Completely out of character for John Legend. This song was also played at many middle school dances attended by the author in his halcyon youth. Completely and utterly inappropriate, but the DJs had no idea what it meant, and neither did we. No harm, no foul right?

Execution: 9/10

John Legend lip syncing perfectly while rapping about “outside dick”. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade lip-sync about outside dick.

Staging: 7/10

John Legend put in a grill and slow-motioned. In case you don’t get the image in your head, it’s John Legend pantomiming hitting it doggystyle while spanking an ass, in slow motion. However, there were no backup dancers, so points off.

The Teigen Score: 9 out of 10 Teigens. HOW DARE YOU NOT SUPPORT YOUR HUSBAND IN HIS TIME OF GLORY CHRISSY. I’m out Chrissy Teigen-ing Chrissy Teigen right now. Christ, what has happened to my life.

Round 2

Common – All Night Long

Song Choice: 6/10

Okay, it’s a classic, but again, it’s from too long ago. I just feel there’s a disconnect, but hey, Lionel Ritchie is timeless….right?

Execution: 4/10

Poor, just poor. You can tell that he was so focused on the production and staging of the song that he forgot about the core of lip-syncing, the actual syncing of the lips to song. It felt like he just kept singing “ALL NIGHT LONG”, but that could just be the fault of the song. All flash, no substance.

Staging: 8/10

LOOK AT THAT MAGNIFICENT JERICURL AND RED DEEP V. That, and Common breakdanced. He obviously cared more about how it looked. I guess he paid homage to the song. That might be enough for Chrissy, but it’s not enough for me Common. IT’S NOT ENOUGH.

The Teigen Score: 6 out of 10 Teigens. It’s all about the art Common. First you don’t make the Michael Jackson noises, and then you focus on your costuming and dancing. At least those two things you nailed. I’ll give you a bump for that.

John Legend – U Can’t Touch This

Song Choice: 5/10

Honestly? Not impressed, too predictable. Everyone and their mother knows that this was coming. After Slow-Motion, I expected so much more from you Mr. Legend.

Execution: 8/10

Ok, John Legend knows his lyrics. This is the second time where he’s just nailed it. Nothing much to say here.

Staging: 6/10

THE COSTUMING!! THE GLASSES!! THE HAREM PANTS!!! THE JACKET!!! And most importantly, THE HEADSET!!! So 80’s, so good. If it was costuming alone, he’d get a 10/10, but unfortunately, his dancing was just awful. His running man was off tempo, and when the breakdown hit, well, John Legend proves why he usually sits behind a piano.

The Teigen Score: 6 out of 10 Teigens. Predictable, vanilla, but solid. In short, John Legend.

Do We Agree With The Audience?

NO. NO. Round 2 was basically a tie, but John Legend just destroyed Common in Round 1 with Slow-Motion. UNACCEPTABLE STUDIO AUDIENCE. UNACCEPTABLE CHRISSY TEIGEN. DOES MY SCIENTIFIC* TEIGEN SCORE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU. Unforgiveable**.

*The Teigen Score has absolutely ZERO science behind it.

**Totally forgiveable, just take a selfie with me Chrissy, and we’ll call it even.

‘Lip Sync Battle’ Review – Between a Rock and a Hard Place

By

Terence Chen

-

April 6, 2015

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson vs. Jimmy Fallon

Tale of the Tape (old boxing term previewing fighters before a bout):

Listen, Jimmy Fallon started this whole lip-sync craze. He started the segment on The Tonight Show, and pretty much every time it’s on, the clip goes viral. I think we all reached a critical mass with the thing when Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart did it after the Super Bowl. On the other hand, we have the tower of charisma that is Dwayne Johnson. He somehow catapulted a career in the WWE to real A-list stardom on the back of his humor and self-aware persona. In short, we have the creator against a rookie, but is Fallon just a bit washed up? We’ll see.

Round 1

Dwayne Johnson- Shake It Off

Song Choice: 9/10

If there’s anything that people love in their lip-syncing, it’s a vast gulf between the singer and the lip-syncer. The Rock and Tay-Tay have nearly nothing in common, and the song choice is ridiculously amazing.

Execution: 5/10

Listen, I love Taylor Swift. You’re not going to mess up a word in the second line of the song and not have me dock you serious points on it. Yeah, I saw it.

Staging: 4/10

Boring stage. Yes, seeing The Rock bounce and bop to Taylor Swift is kind of funny, but have you seen the “Shake It Off” music video? Missed opportunities all over the place. Also, you can’t flip the bird during a Taylor Swift Jam.

The Teigen Score: 7 Teigens Out of 10. Sure, everything else was kinda meh, but the song choice in itself was pure brilliance. Also, Chrissy, I see you back there shaking a cocktail mixer. That subliminal messaging to teens, tsk tsk.

Jimmy Fallon – Jump in the Line

Song Choice: 2/10

Yo, Jimmy, pick a song from this century please. I barely know who Harry Belafonte is. I imagine this song is played in retirement homes when the elderly are getting frisky.

Execution: 3/10

I mean, sure? He knew the lyrics? He kinda got into the audience? Fallon was moving from manchild into awkward dad phase here.

Staging: 5/10

He got the crowd into it a little? I guess there was some sort of mini conga line? But like you said Jimmy, THIS IS SALSA. THERE IS NO CONGA LINE IN SALSA.

The Teigen Score: Two Teigens Out of 10. It was originally 1 Teigen, but I gave Jimmy a pity Teigen, because she said “breast-less”. That’s right Jimmy, you got a pity Teigen because she made a terrible boob pun. For shame Mr. Fallon, for shame.

Round 2

Jimmy Fallon – Like a Prayer

Song Choice: 7/10

Madonna is always a solid choice. Something iconic like that, especially with the possibility of other the top theatrics is always a good start.

Execution: 8/10

Nails it. But I’m sure everyone that was alive during that time knows the words to that song backwards and forwards, just like I know the Backstreet Boys, I mean, what?

Staging: 7/10

Bringing on the choir is always a power move, but come on Fallon, come up with something original. Show me more passion, more creativity. This is your last song, you couldn’t bring on the Roots as the choir or something? Weak sauce.

The Teigen Score (sponsored by Smirnoff®): Six Teigens Out of 10. A drastic improvement from his first song, but still, he has to hope the Rock screws up big in order to take home the belt.

Dwayne Johnson- Stayin’ Alive

Song choice: 6/10

I’m sure everyone knows the song, but I’m not sure if everyone is into it. Iconic, but not in the good way, everyone associates it with terrible 70’s disco cheese.

Execution: 8/10

Remember what I said about charisma? The Fleek Lord himself shows up, rocking an all white suit, with lapels the size of his biceps. The swag walk on stage didn’t hurt him either. Let’s be honest, the only line you have to nail with this song (and the only line that anyone knows) is “Stayin’ Alive” which he does, multiple times.

Staging: 5/10

Meh, dancers dressed the same as you. Way too many dick and ass shots, and c’mon Dwayne, the old take off the jacket move? Better moves my friend, better moves.

The Teigen Score (sponsored by Smirnoff®): Eight Teigens Out of 10. This is why the Rock is A-list. He just brings the swagger. No one else can touch that man when he decides to turn it on, awkward dick jokes with LL Cool J aside.

Do We Agree With the Audience: Yes, the Rock won, hands down. Fallon, Harry Belafonte? Get your shit together. Also, can we agree that LL Cool J is now the whitest rapper in America?

WrestleMania Weekend 2015 – Day 2: WWE WrestleMania Axxess

By

Matt Perri

-

April 6, 2015

Friday was a little different.

We left work and came rushing over, only to find that the gates hadn’t opened yet…and there was a line, about a mile long, to get in, with that classic “zig-zag” format you see in a line at Disneyland.

Luckily, we got in fairly quickly…and immediately got in the first signing line we saw.

It was rumored that Dolph Ziggler was signing at the station we stopped at. There was another rumor going around that Paige was supposed to be here again tonight and that she’d be at the station next door…Danielle really wanted to get her Paige T-shirt signed.

We waited for a few minutes to see who would end up where. When the first Superstars appeared, the crowd cheered…and they were headed for a booth across from us. It was Erick Rowan and Sin Cara.

Ok…we got Sin Cara yesterday. Rowan isn’t totally somebody we want to meet…we decided to stay in our line. Then, more cheers next to us — and out came Natalya. I was a bit bummed. Then her Dad, Jim, showed up. Man…

I asked Danielle if she wanted to move. She said, “No. Let’s see who we get.”

Suddenly, our line began to cheer…and out popped…

Dolph Ziggler.

Let me tell you something about Ziggler. The dude was performing for the entire line. Just like Paige, he played to the crowd and toed the line between cocky and incredibly charming. He gets up from his seat and says, “Sorry…I’m done. I have no time for ANY of you. See ya’.” He was only kidding: he left to go sign for the disabled guest line.

At one point, he came back from the empty disabled guest line, stopped to take pictures with the couple of people near the immediate area, signed their stuff real quick, then rolled his eyes at everyone else as they begged him to sign their stuff, too. With a hair flip, he went back to tend to the regular line.

When we got there, I asked if he would sign for our mutual friend, Tania, who couldn’t make it out.

I don’t know if it was the volume in the place or if Friday fatigue was hitting me…I spelled her name wrong. Ziggler could have just signed her name, as was spelled to him…but he notices and says, “Wait…T, A, N, A, I?! That’s ‘Tawn-ay’, bro! That’s not how you spell that. I don’t even know your friend and I know how she spells her name!”

So, we had some laughs and Ziggler says, “Let me spell it again…” So, he writes over the original spelling, then realizes that you can see a “T”, followed by some scribbling. He puzzles over it and asks, “I think that looks like ‘TANIA’…you think she’d be able to tell? I mean, maybe if I scribble all fancy and professional-looking, she’ll think it says, ‘TANIA’…right?” And we just laughed. He was just a great guy.

He shook our hands and we got our photo with him.

After this, we grabbed some quick food and drink and headed out to see what else we could see.

Turns out, some pretty good Superstars were signing that night.

Kane…who didn’t look happy to be there at all. Kinda strange. Maybe he was trying to be the “Corporate” character…but I took quite a few photos from a few rounds of fans and he didn’t smile once.

A strange choice to sign: The Bogeyman…

And he’d actually sign with Hornswoggle:

After that, I checked my WrestleMania App (an attendant told me it would give me signing schedules…huzzah!) and found out that JBL and Jerry Lawler were signing…so we went to take a pic with them.

Danielle and I stopped by the Elimination Chamber to take a couple pictures of Stardust and Miz-dow. One of the funniest things was watching Stardust freak out and shriek before he would hug the person getting into the ring with them.

We were just in time to watch a Q&A session with Howard Finkel and Booker T in the NXT ring. NXT was hosting some “house shows” all Axxess weekend, so things like this were awesome to watch.

In the Q&A, Booker praised former manager, Sherri Martel, and said that he misses her each and every day. When a fan asked if Harlem Heat would ever get back together, Booker’s response was, “In this business, I always have one response: never say never.”

We stayed around a bit to do the Gratuitous WrestleMania Sign Point…

We made one last trip to the museum as we’d heard that they had added the Andre trophy…

We visited a couple of our favorite wrestlers…

We invaded a Triple H signing and took some pics of him…

And we closed the night out by watching a really fun match between Heath Slater and Curtis Axel, in which Axel took bump after bump and sold everything Slater had — then came back like Hulk Hogan. It was truly great, crowd-pleasing stuff that the crowd around us loved.

Last, but not least, caught this excellent shot of Goldust being interviewed by our local media…

Stay tuned for Part 3…

Er…that’s it.

’12 Monkeys’ Recap: A Tale of Two Coles

By

Nicole C

-

April 3, 2015

12 Monkeys
Season 1, Episode 12 – “Paradox”
Air Date: April 3, 2015
Grade: B+

Last week 12 Monkeys’ fans everywhere had their minds blown when they learned that Ramse was The Witness and was responsible for the apocalypse arriving on schedule. The series has been unfailingly good in keeping people hooked with its various twists and turns. While I find myself getting bored with filler episodes on other shows, “12 Monkeys” just doesn’t appear to have any and that is a pretty darn good accomplishment.

Truth be told I was a little apprehensive before watching “Paradox” because what could possibly follow all the craziness we’ve just seen? Thankfully, it wasn’t disappointing in the least. In the aftermath of “Shonin,” Cole, Cassie, and Jones’ resilience comes to surface in a way we haven’t seen yet. In the 2015 timeline, Dr. Railly shows up at the doorstep of the much younger German doctor and convinces her to help a dying Cole (she finds Jones via the address 2017 Cassie gave Cole). She is careful not to reveal too much because that could potentially alter things in the future. Meanwhile poor Cole is still experiencing visions and goes through a seizure with only Aaron there to help him. For a moment it seems the former political aid is going to just let him die, but he finally calls Cassie who instructs him to administer an adrenaline shot.

The two women figure out that the only thing that might save Cole is for his body to undergo a paradox explosion that could undo the damage caused by time traveling. The idea is to get a sample of blood from young James and then inject into old James. I don’t really get that science part but that’s okay by me. They drive to a garage shop in Pennsylvania and meet Cole’s father Matt. At first he thinks they’re crazy and threatens them with a shotgun, but then Cassie mentions the Army of the 12 Monkeys and the man asks if Marianne sent them. This was Cole’s mom, who disappeared some years ago saying that Matt had to protect their son because she couldn’t. The virologist pleads with him to just come with them to look future Cole in the eye and if he didn’t believe them then they would never bother him again.

So Cole got to meet his dad again and we all got the feels because who knew that this reunion was going to happen?? But it was short-lived because Pallid Man shows up with some goons. And it’s no thanks to Aaron who decided that the plague was unstoppable and had to protect Cassie because she wouldn’t do it herself. He calls Olivia and asks for a deal to ensure that the two of them survive the plague. The guy even tries to take Cassie away before PM gets to Cole. But the virologist hits him and runs in to warn Cole, Jones, Matt and young James. We find out that Cole’s visions were a memory of this moment, when young James dropped a glass of milk in surprise after Cassie burst into the bookshop. His father tries to stop PM and his men and is killed.

Cole waits for Pallid Man and then injects his younger self’s blood into his chest. He rises from the ground and beams of light begin to emit from his body before a brilliant blast occurs (as we’ve seen in other paradox explosions). It’s likely that PM will survive it (since he doesn’t age and may have amazing healing powers, or I’m just making that up). Cassie returns to find a naked Cole, who is now stuck in 2015 with the time travel serum completely out of his system. Along with Jones, they take young James to a foster center where he meets young Jose. It only makes the events of last episode all the more tragic to see the two meet for the first time.

The former time traveler tells 2015 Jones that he could explain to her everything that they knew to give her a head start this time. She declines, saying that being given more knowledge could potentially make things worse and not better. While in the present timeline the German doctor still smokes her cigarettes and is just as blunt, she is a younger, softer and more idealistic version of herself despite already challenging circumstances. Her husband had apparently only stayed married with her for six days before leaving and now she was pregnant with Hannah, whom she initially was planning to abort. We also find out that this was when she actually first met Cole and so she had already known who he was in 2041. Jones saying that she had been waiting for him for a long time makes so much more sense now.

Seeing two versions of Jones in “Paradox” is great fun to watch. In 2043 she’s not alone after all! Dr. Adler and some of the other scientists are still there and she tasks them with rebuilding their knowledge on all plague’s timeline. Even though they can no longer get Cole back, she is determined to move forward by re-examining the past. With Whitley gone however, their security is greatly lacking and by the end of the episode, he appears with the head of one of his men and says that they’re coming. We then meet a new group of men with extremely pale skin. Could these be mutated humans, perhaps the next step in evolution that Olivia was espousing? Helping this band of hooded brothers is the West VII leader Deacon. The Scav King is back!

In the aftermath of last week’s episode as well, Ms. Goines enacted a hostile takeover of Markridge in true Jennifer style while wearing a pair of killer heels. So at this point it would be safe to assume the 12 Monkeys control the company. From patient, hostage, daughter and then leader, Jennifer’s role in the storyline continues to be just as unpredictable as she is and it is an aspect of the show that keeps me guessing.

While Cole and Cassie are set up to be the main heroes of the series, the other characters truly hold their own as complex individuals. But speaking of the duo, shippers of Team Casserole can rejoice that the pair seem to be on their way to an actual romantic relationship. After Aaron’s betrayal and Cole’s near death experience, Cassie holds his hand at the end of “Paradox.” But things are certainly far from a happy ending for them as Aaron is unlikely to give up and the 12 Monkeys are still going to try to kill Cole. I wonder how Ramse is feeling knowing that his ex-best friend is actually alive?

With the season finale coming up next week, what kind of hair-pulling cliffhanger do you think we’re going to get? Whatever it may be, it’s gotta be real good.

“12 Monkeys” airs Fridays 9/8 central on Syfy.

Follow Nicole on Twitter: @niixc.

Images courtesy of Syfy.

‘Furious 7’ Review: Dumb as Hell, But Has a Lot of Heart

By

Justin Carter

-

April 3, 2015

Furious 7 was already highly anticipated simply because the awesome stupidity that was Furious 6 proved that Fast Five wasn’t a fluke and that the Fast and Furious franchise that was mocked or regarded as a guilty pleasure at first had heart and charm that kept people coming back for more. But in the aftermath of Paul Walker’s tragic death and the fact that the film was unfinished when it occurred, people have been wondering for months now how it would handle Walker’s death and his character, Brian O’Conner, in particular.

To answer that question upfront, Walker’s two brothers Cody and Caleb were used as physical actors while Paul’s face was CG’d on later. This is mainly noticeable at two quick moments around the second act, otherwise I was unable to tell the difference, though they do have some wide camera shots at the end as well. While the film does feel like it’s doing a bit of the Hot Tub Time Machine thing where it’s hanging Brian’s death over the audience like a sadistic joke, they ultimately pay tribute to him in a way that’s moving and perfectly done. Like Vin Diesel’s Dominic Toretto has said for the three or so films now, him and his crew are a family and the film overall, though most noticeably in the final moments, does a great job of showing that these people are a family.

Said family under attack is what gets Dom, Brian, and the rest of crew back into the game. Furious 6 ended with the group having defeated baddie Owen Shaw. This time around Shaw’s older brother Deckard (played by Jason Statham at his most Jason Statham-y) breaks into the DSS offices, brutally takes down the Rock’s Agent Hobbs and starts picking off the team one by one. The film picks up right around the time that Statham was killing Han in Tokyo Drift, and after a close encounter with Shaw, Dom and crew are recruited by Kurt Russell’s Mr. Nobody to retrieve a hacker and her powerful tracking program from a mercenary group led by Djimon Honsou.

Each Fast film has had their own feel and style; the first was an undercover cop drama, Tokyo Drift was about a stranger in a world completely foreign to him, and Five was an Ocean’s 11 bank heist caper, and so on. With Furious 7, things have gone to a more Mission Impossible affair, with tactical squads, the people in Dom’s team working like a unit with each person having their own objective, traveling to exotic locales, and the like. It certainly doesn’t make things boring, and the dynamic between the team and their various skills makes the whole affair entertaining. You have to respect a series that can switch up their style with every new film while also keeping its identity along the way.

Everyone who’s been around since the last one is basically doing the same thing they did the last time around, though it does feel like the dialogue between Tyrese Gibson’s Roman and Ludacris’ Tej could’ve been trimmed down a bit. Gibson in particular has a line during the crew’s trip in Abu Dabi that feels like it should’ve been cut because of how sketchy it sounds. Sadly, the film doesn’t have as much of the Rock as the last two films, though his natural charisma makes him awesome when he does show up.

The new additions to the cast are all entertaining, with the standouts in particular being Tony Jaa and MMA fighter, Ronda Rousey. Jaa in particular brings such power to his role that you wish he stuck around and joined the team. Kurt Russell is hamming it up as Mr. Nobody in the same way that Nicholas Cage was hamming it up as Big Daddy in Kick-Ass, and I really hope he comes around for another one of these.

Jason Statham’s role as Deckard Shaw feels similar to the Winter Soldier of the recent Captain America film, mostly showing up at random intervals as more of a force of nature with no real explanation as to how he ended up in the same area as Dom’s team besides maybe having some ability to track down Dom through his scent. He definitely makes an impression, even though the film does sort of cheapens the outcome of his and Dom’s fight at the end.

Djimon Honsou does alright as the villain, which is really all you can hope for with the villains in these films, and while Nathalie Emmanuel’s hacker Ramsey is mostly regarded as an object others want (Michelle Rodriguez’s Letty rightly calls out Roman and Tej for calling “dibs” on her), she does well with the material she’s given.

Rousey, Jaa and Statham being added to the cast also seem to have ramped up the action scenes and their brutality. While the fights don’t get anywhere close to The Raid’s level, there’s still plenty of times you’ll be going “oh shit!”. Also ramped up are the crazy stunts the series is now famously known for. The marketing for the film has annoyingly shown off the scenes with the parachuting cars and the building jumping, which lessens the surprise of them, but those are just small parts of those batshit scenes. James Wan certainly knows how to direct these big scale sequences, and he definitely is content with just letting them speak for themselves.

Overall, Furious 7 is a fun entry in a constantly entertaining series. It manages to stand out well enough on its own. There are some weird leaps in story logic and it feels like it’s hanging Walker’s death like a carrot on the end of the stick, but it deals with the latter in the best way possible and it’s more than satisfying of a way to put his character to rest. Sure, these films are stupid as hell and get more cartoonish with each one, but you can’t deny that these films have a lot more heart than you would expect from a series about people driving fancy cars.

Celebrate the Release of ‘Furious 7’ with The Rock Lip Syncing “Shake it Off”

By

Bilal Mian

-

April 3, 2015

rock

Everyone knows Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, unless they’ve been living under a….. rock (sorry it just sort of happened) for the pass decade. The big man appeared on Spike TV’s Lip Sync Battle last night and performed “Shake it Off” by Taylor Swift.

Yes, I know. The song has been everywhere the last few months, but if you’re looking for a good laugh from one of the stars of Furious 7, look no further than the video above.

You can watch the full episode on Spike’s website.

“UN-Boxing Match”: Round 1

By

Roberto Valentin Jr.

-

April 3, 2015

Hey dudes and dudettes! Welcome to the first ever episode of UN-Boxing Match, where I put two subscription-based mystery boxes head to head, unbox them, and arbitrarily declare one a winner. This month our combatants are the March editions of Loot Crate and Arcade Block.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ7erdThFRE

Videos not your thing? Well here’s a rundown of each box’s content:

LOOT CRATE ($13.95 plus S&H)

EXCLUSIVE Bond: This Is Stirred T-Shirt

Field Agent Blink Time Wrist Watch

Spy Mad Libs

EXCLUSIVE Paracord Survival Bracelet

EXCLUSIVE Orphan Black Comic Book

EXCLUSIVE Special Agent Dossier Notebook 2-pack

EXCLUSIVE Replica Agents of Shield Lanyard

ARCADE BLOCK ($19.99 plus S&H)

Radio Free Kyrat T-Shirt

Castle Town Orchestra T-Shirt

Street Fighter LED Flashlight Keychain

Asobu Stress Controller

Note Boy Sticky Notepad

Batman: Arkham Knight #1

Dancing With the Stars Review: Latin Night Filled with Cleavage and “Testosteron-ey”

By

Kelley Lynn

-

April 3, 2015

Week 3 of Dancing With the Stars, kids! And you know what THAT means. (Okay, you probably don’t have a clue what that means, but just play along.) LATIN NIGHT!!! And with 11 couples left, the competition is getting fiercer than Bruno Tonioli’s glittery Tuesday night sex-romp parties. (What???) Let’s not miss one more second of the action. Oops. Too late. Cranky Len has already taken his first nap.

Rumer / Val : They danced a Disco Salsa, and yes, that’s a thing. The song was “Turn the Beat Around”, and they were all decked out in their best Saturday Night Fever get-ups, with Val’s white Travolta-type suit, and Rumer’s sparkly, gold tight-pants. Since this was technically the first week the couples were allowed to do lifts, lots of pairs took advantage, including these two, with a complicated set of cool lifts. Tom Bergeron commented: “That was so good, it made me crave polyester!” Bruno called Rumer a “playful kitten”, followed by some other nonsense nobody could understand as human-speak. Val was sweating profusely as Horny Carrie Ann and her pushed-together boobage said “Hot! That body!” Calm down, woman. Scores were 8/9/8/8, and Len seemed extra cranky this week. He must have missed his nightly reruns of “Wheel of Fortune.”

Charlotte / Keo: Boobs McGee and her sexy partner did the Rumba, but during rehearsals, Miss Boobs-a-Lot couldn’t stay off her cell phone. Texxting, texting, texting. “I’m a model and actress, these emails are important,” she said about constantly holding her phone during rehearsals. Keo was clearly upset with her and told her to please respect the process and put the phone away at least while he’s talking to her. The dance was nice but had mis-steps in timing. Bruno “I have no filter” Tonioli said, “Well you’re never going to win the Nobel Prize for quantum physics, but you are easy on the eye.” Bergeron retorted by telling Bruno “neither are you” winning that Nobel Prize. Horny Carrie Ann told her she has an incredible body, and then Len said weirdly: “You get out of this show what you put into it, and … well … I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” Alrighty then. Scores were pretty harsh at 6/5/5/6.

Michael / Peta: They had the Salsa, and during rehearsals, Michael was afraid of “breaking” Peta’s just over 100-pound frame while lifting her, because he is so used to lifting MUCH heavier. He had to learn to be less aggressive when lifting her body. During their dance, his green vest made him look like a giant mint-green Tic-tac. Bruno said the timing was off, and that “you can’t force hip action,” and Len called the dance “choppy – like my bladder.” Just imagine that he said that last part. It’s funny. Scores were 6/6/6/6.

Riker / Allison: Well, their Salsa blew Horny Carrie Anne’s mind away, and she practically jumped out of her seat with excitement for this dude, calling him “testerone-y” and giggling like a school-girl. The best was when Tom Bergeron pointed out her boobage by saying: “That’s the most cleavage I’ve ever seen from you in all the years we’ve been working together.” She took her hands and pushed her boobs more together while gushing “Oh! Thank you!” Len said, “you’ve got flair!” Flair? Who says flair?” Julianne said, “Now THAT was a salsa! ” Bruno stood up, freaked out, and rambled on and on about fast, energetic, and something about being “full-throttle.” He then kept talking and refused to stop, at which point Bergeron hilariously cut him off with, “Bruno, it’s over. We’re going to commercial now. Good Lord.” Scores were 9/7/9/9.

Suzanne / Tony: She wore a giant tall fruit hat. Their dance was the Samba, and they danced to the “Copa Cabana.” Len called it “juicy, fruity, and full of fun – unlike my dry and wrinkled-up nut-sac!” Carrie Ann wanted to see “more depth” (Oh, I’ll bet you did, Carrie Anne!), and Tony didn’t like that too much, feeling as if they had put every ounce of themselves into the dance already. Scores were 6/6/6/7, and Len fell head-first into his Quaker Oatmeal bowl.

Farmer Zzzzzzzzzz / Witney: Chris was bummed about not doing well last week, and so he was over-dramatic about that backstage and in rehearsals. “I’ve just never screwed up something so bad in my entire life. I just wanted to jump off a cliff!” Wow, really? That’s a bit drastic, don’t ya think? And you’ve REALLY never ever done anything else, in your whole LIFE, that was worse than making a few mistakes on a dance routine? Hmmmm …. In any case, they did the Argentine Tango, and Farmer Boy did much better this time around. Julianne called him “the comeback kid”, and Len called it his “best dance yet.” Scores were even at 7/7/7/7, and Chris’s fiance, the other Whitney, sat at home watching while sobbing into a generic brand tissue.

Robert / Kym: They did a Rumba that was quite pretty and very dream-like. While rehearsing, Guy Smiley got a bit solemn and began to cry because he thought the dance was so beautiful. Bruno called it “beautifully committed, like my mental state.” Carrie Ann made the weirdest comment ever about how she is “praying to the porcelain God.” Isn’t that the toilet? Why is she praying to the toilet? Doesn’t that mean she is vomiting? I was baffled by that comment. Julianne loved the rawness and vulnerability of the routine. Scores were 7/7/8/7.

Patti / Artan: They did the Cha-cha, and once again, Patti was cool and hip. She came out on a luggage cart, and she also had boob cleavage that was out of this world. What is with the cleavage this week? Len called it charming and fun, while Bruno said something about “5 star uptown funk!” and then spanked himself 2 times. It was rather disturbing. Scores seemed a bit low and harsh at 6/5/5/6.

Willow / Mark: Their dance was the Paso Doble, which Willow performed with a rib-cage injury. Her fiery red dress and the intense music made this dance one of my favorites. Len said, “it was fire and ice, gonna be hard to beat!” Scores were 8/8/8/8.

Noah / Sharna: During rehearsals, Sharna wanted Noah to try out using a prosthetic arm for the first time, so that he would finally have a full-frame when they dance. He began stressing out over it, because it kept falling off his shoulder, and it wasn’t comfortable. He felt pushed into it, and told cameras, “I hate the f**king arm, and I don’t wanna wear it.” In the end, Sharna respected his decision, and he didn’t wear it. Instead, she once again came up with some creative and brilliant choreography to work around his missing arm and leg. The lift in this dance is most impressive, because he is using the strength of one arm to lift her over his head and into the air. Unbelievable. Julianne says, “Your best dance yet,” while Bruno called the lifts “out of this world.” Scores were 7/7/8/8. Should have been all 8’s.

Nastia / Derek: They have very little time together each week, because of Derek’s 10-show-per week schedule at Radio City, in the Rockette Spring Spectacular. Somehow though, they keep pulling it off, coming up with amazing dance routines and making it look easy. This week was the Samba, and it was no exception to their dance history. Bruno stood up, flipped out, and yelled, “Exhilarating!” Scores were high at 9/8/9/8.

RESULTS: Going home this week from Dancing With the Stars were Boobs McGee (Charlotte) and Keo. Sad to see him go, because he is adorable and hot and cute and all that stuff. I hope that Madam Boobs-a-Lot finds her happiness in life, and in a good supportive bra.

Interview with Grace Fong: Creator of ‘Game of Thrones’ Art Book, ‘Draw ‘Em With The Pointy End’

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April 3, 2015

**Game of Thrones Season 4 spoilers below**

Ah, Game of Thrones, a fantasy nerd’s wet dream. Thanks to the internet, there’s no end to fanart, fanfiction, cosplay, and fan…food? I’m grateful for that because some of the fan work is good. I mean, really good. And that’s where people like Grace Fong come in. Grace is an artist and huge fan of Game of Thrones. She had the idea to compile some of that fantastic fan art scattered about the internet and put it in a book for other fans like myself to hold and cherish.

Draw ‘Em With the Pointy End is a limited-edition, 160-page, full color, 8.5″x11″, softcover, tribute art book with over 100 artists from around the world sharing their original homages to G. R. R. Martin’s series, A Song of Ice and Fire (a.k.a. Game of Thrones).

Currently, Grace is running a Kickstarter to get the book funded. It’s not cheap to print full color, but she’s excited to share this work with everyone. With 15 days remaining, Grace and co. are only $6,000 shy of their $18,500 goal. And the rewards are pretty awesome, from posters, to stickers, to fan art right in your email, and even a Game of Thrones-themed party. I’d love to see this book funded so we reached out to Grace and luckily, even with her busy schedule, I had a chance to talk to her about the project. Here’s how it went down:

Tell me about yourself, Grace.

Well, I’m Grace. During the week I work full-time in the tech industry, which I enjoy, but I also like drawing so I do that on the side. When it comes to art, I guess I just try not to half-ass everything. I want to make things as good as I can really make them. This isn’t my first art book, I put one together while I was in college.

And now you’ve got a Kickstarter for your second book, Draw ‘Em With The Pointy End.

We ended up with a LOT of artists, over one hundred, which is really high considering most participation with art books. With so many people and the amount of color in the art, printing became a bit of a challenge, so we opted to go for Kickstarter as our main method of funding. It seemed the easiest way to share the work with everyone else. And a good way to give the artists a little bit of money for their time.

How did you choose who was going to be book? Did you put out a call for artists?

About 30% of the final group is people I’ve worked with before, either through anime conventions, previous art books, mutual friends, and so on. The other half or so–I’m sorry my cat is crawling all over me right now. She has decided that because I’m not paying attention to her she is going to MAKE me pay attention to her. She is a menace.

Anyway, I knew people who had a significant following of other artists they’ve worked with before, so we ended up getting involved with people who worked at Paramount, on Avatar: The Last Airbender. Kind of as a way to show this is the bar we’re looking to set, and then we put an open call out on Tumblr. We ended up with 2-300 portfolios to look at.

Obviously as an artist I don’t want people to be doing work for the book and then not getting paid for it. So instead of specific art, we looked at their existing portfolios. It didn’t make sense for anyone to have to create something new for this, taking up their precious time and energy. We decided to give each accepted artist a flat fee because the logistics of, “Okay, if we sell this many copies you’ll get this much” was a real hassle. Also, I wasn’t comfortable with the, “Yea you may or you may not get money” thing. So this is what each artist gets and anything above that will go to charity. Probably one of the charities George R. R. Martin backs.

Speaking of Martin, have you reached out to or heard from either him or HBO in regards to the book?

We reached out to both of them, but had a difficult time contacting HBO. We found out they’re doing a fan book compendium as well, but it’s not exclusively art. It’ll also have cosplay, food art, and all manner of other things. We did ask about rights to our art book and they said they’d let us keep them, but we haven’t been able to contact Martin himself.

What are the biggest challenges in starting a Kickstarter project?

I’ve done smaller Kickstarters before but none of them have been over $5000. The hardest thing is probably the advertising because people aren’t going to spend money on something they’ve never heard of. However, this has honestly been one of the most amazing collaboration projects I’ve worked on. The artists have all been self-motivated with trying to get the book out there. They took to Twitter, we started Facebook group, posted blogs, and to Tumblr. Some even made a QR code for flyers to hand out at conventions and what not. There’s no way we could even come close to achieving our goal without the amazing effort from all of these people and I’m grateful for that.

What’s it like working with so many artists?

You know, I work on a guilt system. Basically, I told them, “There’s a flat amount of compensation. You aren’t going to make a bajillion dollars.” So in order to help people get more out of it I started a system of critique and feedback. The artists would post their work and any time they did so and took that feedback, they’d receive part of their stipend. As other people saw fellow artists working and making their projects better, they were excited and pushed themselves to match those around them.

In terms of content, is the book mostly art based on the show or do you think book readers can also enjoy it? Does anyone cover say, Robert’s Rebellion or the Dunk and Egg novellas?

I envisioned the book as being a visual representation of what that artist sees in the series. If they only watch the show or read the book or both, it’s perfectly fine. It’s whatever the artists’ interpretation of the work is. Without the restrictions on the work I feel like we brought out some awesome creativity in the artists. We also didn’t limit them on which character they could draw.

Do you have a favorite piece so far?

Oh man, there are so many I like for so many different reasons. Grace Kim’s Nymeria with the huge eyes is adorable. Kara Phillips’ Brienne Oathkeeper, that girl can render some insane images. It’s like she took the show and made it better. Naomi Franq was doing this piece on Ellaria and Oberyn and I’m super proud of her because she took the feedback so well and looking from her rough draft to her final, it was completely different and so much better. That one is still making the rounds on Tumblr with sobbing hashtags.

It’s especially poignant to me because my favorite Game of Thrones character is Oberyn Martell.

I was going to ask who your favorite character was, but you beat me to it. Oberyn is obviously second to Cersei though, right?

Uhh….*crickets*

Yea, I love Oberyn. The morning after that episode aired, my friend texted me and was like, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

Did you know it was coming?

*resigned sigh* No, I didn’t. I’m a really slow book reader. I had friends spoil the Red Wedding for me, but I didn’t see this coming. I guess that’s why they tell you not to love anyone too much.

I love to hate Joffrey though.

Oh, everyone does. I think he was made for that reason.

I never really liked children that much and I watched the show and was like, THIS IS WHY.

Well, on that happy note, do you have any final thoughts?

I know there’s a lot of controversy over why people draw fan art and I think a lot of people are forgetting part of being a fan of something is sharing in that common interest with someone else and then getting to know that person through that shared interest. Obviously I’ve been a part of a lot of fan circles in my life, going to back to loving Sailor Moon in the third grade and wanting to be a sailor scout with all my friends. I think what you get out of being a fan of something is a sense of community, and I wanted that with this book. The great thing about fan art is it’s not just relegated to the artist and the artist community. It’s something you can share with other people who aren’t artists and they, in turn, can interpret the art how they see it.

Fan art isn’t about trying to hop on a popular bandwagon to get attention. It’s about offering up this art as a tribute to another artists’ work as if to say, “This is what I feel, this is what I love.”

‘Archer’ Review: Drastic Voyage: Part II

By

Will Fan

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April 2, 2015

Archer
Season 6, Episode 13 – “Drastic Voyage: Part II”
Air Date: April 2, 2015
Grade: A-

Last week’s episode was mostly setup, but everything mostly pays off in tonight’s Archer finale. The team’s drastic, fantastic voyage into the body of Dr. Kovacs continues as they race to destroy a life-threatening blood clot and escape before they return to normal size. It’s a funny, exciting finale that continues most of the trends we’ve seen from the season overall, and leaves us with an intriguing cliffhanger for the show moving forward.

Season six of Archer was arguably more self-aware and took itself less seriously than any of the previous seasons–the “unreboot” following the Archer Vice reboot was bound to raise a few eyebrows, and creator/writer Adam Reed seemed happy to run with the show’s little existential crisis. Archer enjoys himself more and is cockier than ever, since he’s effectively immortal (“Lana, I’ve never had a death wish; it’s just that I don’t believe that I, personally, even can die”). Meanwhile, the week-to-week missions they’re assigned have little to no significance since all of the major story arcs this season have only involved character relationships. This has allows the writing to play with things like plotting and pacing in any given episode to better serve the characters and comedy. Sometimes it’s a little too flippant, deflating the stakes that a particular episode tries to build up, but it works well here.

The writing tonight was particularly eager to toy with expectations and gloss over contrivances. As our heroes are stuck in the foot of Dr. Kovacs, it turns out that they can travel along the circulatory system to the brain in about a minute, because that’s how long blood takes to circulate through the body. That provides them plenty of time, but to keep up the urgency of the episode, our heroes end up encountering a number of delays. Pam takes fifteen minutes to fit into her wetsuit (“Because who has an entire submarine with no damn talcum powder on board?”), and their departure is delayed because the ship can’t move while the airlock is being purged. The brief, wordless montage that played while the airlock was purging was especially great; Archer waits out the boredom while Pam slowly goes stir crazy and is eventually reduced to tears (it reminded me of one of the season’s best episodes).

The episode plays with expectations in other ways as well–Cheryl holds a pair of sharp tungsten knitting needles, and the ship experiences a jolt of turbulence whenever they’re raised near someone’s neck, but nothing ever comes of it (she ultimately ends up stabbing Ray in the leg, on purpose). There’s also a stowaway on board, of course, but it’s just TV’s Michael Gray again. He’s still in his Slim Goodbody body suit and taking up precious oxygen, but he’s ultimately harmless and it doesn’t actually end up impacting anything at all. When he slaps Archer, there’s a slow zoom in on Archer’s angry face, but Archer quickly laughs it off and apologizes. Cheryl whispers, “Will you explain that to me later?” “I was hoping you would,” replies Pam.

The big twist at the end is that they ultimately don’t make it out in time, and the ship expands, killing Dr. Kovacs and everyone in the surgery room. As promised, Archer and the rest of the group are blacklisted from ever working in espionage again. It’s a decision that makes sense–Archer laughs his way through everything, bristles against the CIA’s authority, and they’ve failed every mission they’ve been handed. As amusing as it would be to see Archer perpetually butting heads with Slater, the complete implosion of their professional relationship with the CIA feels like the right move. While they’re stuck on the side of the road contemplating their failure and what they’ll do for money, Archer confidently replies that he has a few ideas.

I have no idea what’s in store for a Archer next season, but I’m really excited to find out. Archer Vice was proof that the characters were strong and consistent enough to make for a great show no matter what the circumstances, and the possibilities are truly endless. With espionage work out of the question and the group having already attempted drug trafficking (and country music stardom), it’s actually pretty difficult to predict what sort of venture they’ll embark on next. Maybe they’ll open a food truck? I’d watch that.

C+ was a pretty harsh grade for last week’s episode but I think together, the finale averages out to a solid B+.
“She seems like a normal baby weight.” “Oh yes, and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up and everyone’s Kickstarter has merit.”
“It’s basically the old ‘zirp and flirp.’”
I hope we see Slater again. “It’s not, I was just going to tell you that he’s had the clap so many times it’s more like applause.”
Oh yeah, and Ray’s crippled again. “Ugh, are you crippled again?”
“Now’s the perfect time. It’s not like you haven’t dreamed about it. Just crash the sub and kill them, Cyril…”
“It’s basically the old ‘float and gloat.’”
Krieger busting supercomputer, mic dropping the wrench
“We’re the outsiders, the scrappy underdogs! We’re Delta House, the Dirty Dozen, the Rebel Alliance, the Commitments! We’re the Bad News freakin’ Bears! And our lupus is an openly gay cyborg dying of sepsis in a wheelbarrow!”
Well… I actually have some thoughts on that.

Bones Review: The Twitter in the Tripe

By

Trisha Leigh

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April 2, 2015

Okay, so we’re 0 for 2 and I’m feeling the faint stirrings of concern.

Bones is currently in its 10th season and has been renewed for an 11th, but I’d hate to see them start to rest on their laurels. If they’re going to keep doing this thing they need to do it, and the show has needed a good punch in the arm ever since the abrupt departure of Sweets (John Francis Daly) at the beginning of this season.

I said when he left the show that it could be trouble. Sweets’s character had become the linchpin; he was the one that everyone else related through, not to as it looked, and to take him out of the equation could leave relationships awkward and floundering. Even Booth (David Boreanaz) and Brennan (Emily Deschanel), who have always had fabulous chemistry and managed to defy the Moonshiners Curse by being even more compelling as a couple than as a will-they-won’t they-duo, have fallen as flat as a pancake.

They’re forcing the cuteness of their interactions and Booth’s fake-annoyance with her cluelessness has started to feel like actual annoyance. Hodgins misplaced his energy. Angela’s not interesting (and what happened to their kid?). We’re missing a much-needed kick from some of the best and brightest of the Squinterns and even Cam feels as though she’s tossing superfluous, random lines and appearances into scenes just to remind us she’s a character on the show. Poor Aubrey is trying his damnedest to be Sweets and it’s not really working; what he should probably do is just find his own character and play with that instead.

I think the main issue boils down to the fact that when the writers forget that this is an ensemble cast–and a capable one–the show suffers. We don’t know what’s going on with Angela and Hodgins outside of work. Bones’s family? No idea. Michelle? Wendall? Opie?

I have enjoyed seeing more of Caroline (Patricia Belcher). but even this week’s storyline, which might have had legs with any sort of oomph behind it, fell mostly on its face. The most inspired performances were handed in by guest stars Allan Maldanado and Allius Barnes, who play brothers struggling to support each other, finish school, and put food i their bellies at the same time.

The episode’s subject matter, young teachers forgoing better paying, cushier jobs to work in understaffed, inner-city schools for essentially no money, seems like it should have worked. They talked (and talked and talked) about how the deceased character had such passion for her work and for the kids, but we didn’t get to see any of it. I didn’t feel any passion at all, just a little bit bored and the slightest bit thoughtful. Instead of coming across as inspired it bled through the television as trite. Trite tripe.

I was glad they caught the killer (of course) but less-than-shocked over who it turned out to be. Perhaps the problem was that we didn’t meet a single person who seemed to really know and love the dead teacher, even though she helped plenty of people and everyone sang her professional praises…we need to know her in order to feel for her, and for the second week in a row, the writers left us in the dark eating mini Easter Kit Kat bars and waiting for our fingernail polish to dry.

Just me?

Not to mention, the side story of Brennan’s publisher asking her to get on Twitter and connect with her fans was almost painful. The quips about how social media is ruining the world, Brennan’s learning that good can also be accomplished, the clunky “but you’re ignoring the life in front of you because your face is in a screen” scene at the end. Blah. A bunch of recycled drivel that would be more at home on a contemporary remake of Saved By the Bell than a show that’s been blessed with a fan base that’s kept it going for a decade.

We’re going to need you to step it up, writers and stars and producers of Bones. Because you don’t want to be that show. The one people love, the one we stick through when we get those inevitable lackluster seasons, the one we’re so glad we did when it returns to its former glory…only to start phoning it in, week after week.

You don’t want to be the show people recommend with the caveat, “you can skip the last two seasons because they’re crap.”

Let’s use your considerable resources and get this ship back on course before we all voluntarily jump overboard into the icy, uncertain waters of new programming.

Bones (Season 10, Episode 12 “The Teacher in the Books”) originally aired April 2 at 8/7C on Fox.

FIRST LOOK: Syfy Reveals Official ‘Sharknado 3’ Movie Poster

By

Erin Biglow

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April 2, 2015

3

Hasn’t the East Coast already suffered enough?

Syfy unveiled the first official poster art for its upcoming “Sharknado” sequel on Thursday, and fans of the smash series will be happy to see their favorite D-listers bracing for another killer storm. New Englanders still climbing out from under multiple feet of snow, however, might not find the franchise’s location change refreshing.

This time, returning stars Ian Ziering and Tara Reid will team up to battle the titular tempest in Washington, D.C. alongside more unexpected co-stars Mark Cuban and Ann Coulter (yes, really) as the President and Vice President, respectively. The twister also heads south to wreak havoc in Orlando, but it’s American audiences’ insatiable thirst for White House demolition scenes that will likely secure the popular vote yet again.

Check out the forecast for yourself:
“Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” will touch down Wednesday, July 22 at 9/8c on Syfy.

Are you ready to take another bite of this franchise? Sound off in the comments, and follow @TheWorkprint for all your pop culture needs!

Sacrifice is Coming in New Arrow Trailer

By

Justin Carter

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April 2, 2015

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFk7uixvN9s

Last night’s Arrow was probably the best episode of the season, and definitely the show at its most ambitious. It started with Ra’s al Ghul turning the Starling City police against Oliver with a few well-placed arrows. Thus began a manhunt for the Arrow, leading to Oliver Queen ready to be carted off to prison, only for Roy to don his costume and set himself up to go to jail for the Arrow’s “crimes”.

The show won’t return until the 15th, but in the meantime, here’s this lovely trailer of the final five episodes of the season, chock full of team ups, battles, and Oliver finally accepting Ra’s al Ghul’s offer. Things don’t look good for Oliver and the rest of Team Arrow, but then again, when does it ever?

A Look Back: Fast & Furious 6

By

Justin Carter

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April 2, 2015

Every day this week we’ll tackle the next movie in the Fast and Furious franchise, leading up to our review of Furious 7. Buckle up and join us as we all prepare for Furious 7 and that one last ride.

Day One: A Look Back: The Fast and the Furious (2001)

Day Two: A Look Back: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

Day Three: Tokyo Drift was the Last Great Movie about the Love of Cars and Racing

Day Four: ‘Fast & Furious’ (2009) is Perhaps the Quintessential Film of the Franchise

Day Five: A Look Back: Fast Five (2011)

Can we just talk about how really fucking weird this all is?

I mean, isn’t it really weird the trajectory the Fast and Furious has had? This series has gone from undercover cop drama/race/thing to cops, to Japan for some reason, to soft reboot, to rigging a bank vault to the back of cars and using it as a wrecking ball in the streets of Brazil. The Fast franchise is basically for car enthusiasts what the Marvel films are for comic fans, and Furious 7 is shaping up to be this franchise’s Age of Ultron. But before we get there, we have to look at the absolute crazy that is Furious 6. Or Fast 6. Fast and Furious 6? I swear the title for this movie has changed more times than Sony’s plans for Amazing Spider-Man 3. All of this, alongside the series’ classic stupidity come together for the best stupid movie you’ll ever see.

Which one was this again?: The one that brought Michelle Rodriguez back into the fold after having been absent for two films and also has Gina Carano, for some reason that I can’t really recall. The basic “plot” is that Rodriguez’s Letty is alive and well after having been presumed dead in Fast Four and working with a new group of criminals. Hobbs, the world’s buffest baby oil user, tracks down Dom and offers him and his crew full pardons if they help bring down Letty’s crew.

Best Scene: C’mon, do you have to ask? It’s obviously the end fight in the plane where Luke Evans and his over-exercised henchman face off against Dom and Hobbs. It’s pure, unadulterated awesome, capped off by one of the best moments in action movie history.

Most Iconic Line: “Uh guys, they got a tank!”

Actual Best Line: This is the greatest line in all movies, ever.

Has fast is it? Totally fast, and stupidly awesome. You can’t deny the appeal at watching Vin Diesel grab Michelle Rodriguez in midair and crash landing on a car or Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson firing hooks into the wings of a plane getting ready to take off. Yeah it’s brainless, but it gives no fucks about it.

How furious is it? Please watch this scene as an example of how furious it is.

Still No Release Date, But At Least We Have A New ‘Winds of Winter’ Sansa Chapter To Keep Us Warm

By

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April 2, 2015

I won’t quote the entire chapter, but you can read it on Martin’s website.

Thankfully, George R. R. Martin and Co. decided to wait a day to post a new excerpt from Winds of Winter. Had it or any other news of the book been released yesterday, I suspect there would have been riots in the streets. As has been the case in previous years, Martin has shared an early chapter from the book to at least keep fans sated during our long wait for the sixth installment.

I doubt this will be the last teaser chapter released, but Martin has said that he won’t be attending the larger Cons in order to finish the book. With internet speculation firing on all cylinders, it does seem likely he’s nearing the end. He still won’t give readers as a timeline, though, as that has burned him in the past.

In the meantime, let’s read and reread and throw all sorts of tinfoil on the fantasy flames.

I WILL GO DOWN WITH THIS SHIP: More Captain Marvel Speculation

By

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April 2, 2015

Because a girl’s gotta have dreams.

It’s no secret I’ve been clamoring for a Captain Marvel appearance in the MCU for, oh…years. And obviously Katee Sackhoff has been the Carol Danvers of my heart for, oh…years. (Please see exhibit A to your right.) However, at this juncture, I would accept ANY concrete news about the character, whether or not it’s Sackhoff or Emily Blunt or Gina Carano or Tricia Helfer. However, I’m starting to feel like Marvel is pulling a Lucille Bluth and getting off on withholding information about this integral Avenger.

Take today’s news for instance: Disney published a press release.

Nothing really out of the ordinary. It’s cas, whatever. Oh, but wait. There are two new names on that list, Freaks and Geeks‘ Linda Cardellini and the Before trilogy’s Julie Delpy. For a movie that is adamant Captain Marvel won’t appear (even though really, this would be the best place to introduce her and I swear if Spider-man is in this even though Carol was in line first, I will cut someone), they sure are adding a lot of last minute female actors’ names to their roster. A week ago it was Aurora Fearnley being credited as a “Marine.” Then a source close to the production said, “Nuh uh. Ain’t happening.”

WHICH IS IT, MARVEL? My heart cannot take this internet hype anymore.

Stay tuned for…more Avengers: Age of Ultron news and the inevitable crushing of hopes and dreams.

The Americans Review: What Happens Now?

By

Trisha Leigh

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April 1, 2015

For the second week in a row, I watched The Americans on FX without constantly warding off imminent panic attacks. Don’t get me wrong–I’m not complaining. The writers and cast manage to keep the tension at a low hum in the background and move certain storylines forward while letting the audience breathe a little. After the opening half of the season I think we all needed that. At least, I know I did.

On Episode 10, Stingers, some of Philip’s hard work with Kimmy pays off as their CIA mission kicks into gear. It’s mostly setup right now, along with some more moments with Kimmy that are more depressing than ever. The poor girl thinks no one cares anything about her and honestly. it seems like she might be right. It will be interesting to see how their relationship develops going forward and whether, given what he’s probably going to have to do to keep her on the line, Phillip (Matthew Rhys) will end up being that person who truly cares for Kimmy after all.

Note: I really, really don’t want him to sleep with her. I know it’s a silly thing to worry about or feel icky about, given what atrocities the Jennings’s have perpetrated over the past two and a half seasons, but there it is. I care.

Stan is struggling to deal with his divorce, so there’s nothing much new there–nothing except the fact that he and Henry seem to be forging a bond made out of what’s lacking for each of them at home. Stan’s missing his family, Henry’s parents are never around. It’s only natural that the two of them might find common interests and begin to spend time together but Philip and Elizabeth (Keri Russell) don’t seem too thrilled about the development.

We get a brief glimpse of Nina (Annet Mahendru) digging into her assignment to find out whether the repatriated scientist is actually struggling to make headway or if he’s bluffing in an attempt to be let go. Her storyline has become one of my favorite on the show and I’m so relieved that they didn’t let it unravel after she lost her connection to both Oleg and Stan. And America. She’s a wild card, an interesting one, and I hope the writers continue to explore it past her (let’s hope) completion and release.

But I mean, does the KGB ever let anyone go? No. Nina’s in the service for the long haul, a fact I suspect she’s more than aware of by this point in her career.

The most interesting (and yes, anticipated) moment of the show came when Paige (Holly Taylor) surprise her parents (and us!) by confronting them about what they’ve been hiding. She knows that they’re not normal parents and that something is going on that she’s not privy to. When she demands to know why, Philip and Elizabeth tell her the truth.

Even though they don’t use the word “spy,” Paige is a bright girl and she figures it out on her own. She doesn’t yell or scream, just goes to her room and lays down;. The next morning she stays home from school, which her parents allow her to do alone after some intense consideration. She asks them to speak Russian but poses no other questions. They remind her that if she tells anyone about them, they’ll both end up in prison.

Despite the warning, Paige places a phone call to Pastor Tim. He’s become a huge influence on her life and his appearance at the travel agency earlier in the episode (during which he gives unsolicited parenting advice to Philip) seems to point to the fact that he’s inserting himself into her life–into all of their lives. I can’t help but think this is going to be bad for his health, since we know things about her parents that Paige doesn’t.

Like, they’ll be far more likely to kill Pastor Tim if it comes to that than end up in prison.

We’re left with a lot of questions in the final scene, one in which Stan (Noah Emmerich) joins the Jennings for dinner. Paige watches him, a funny look on her face that suggests she’s just realizing the implications of this knowledge on her life–or maybe wondering if she’s going to tell someone, maybe Stan should be her first choice.

How is Paige going to react? We know Elizabeth, at least, plans to approach the subject of her joining the KGB at some point, and that looming on the horizon has to make everyone nervous. If I were writing the show I would have her go to the FBI only to have them recruit her and send her home as a counterspy. That would be awesome.

Another small tidbit related to Stan (one that’s far more interesting than his divorce moodiness, in my opinion)…he seems to have remembered something in relation to Martha and the bugged pen being planted in their boss’s office. That could go very bad, very fast and if we were worried about poor Martha a few weeks ago, the next few episodes could be rough.

Sound off in the comments with your own theories about how this season is going to play out – I’d love to hear them!

The Americans (Season 3, Episode 10 “Stingers”) originally aired Wednesday, April 1 at 10/9c on FX.

The Blind Leading The Blind – What to Read Before You Watch Daredevil

By

Terence Chen

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April 1, 2015

Daredevil: The Man Without Fear

Back in October, I was able to attend Netflix’s Daredevil panel at New York Comic Con. The footage shown during the panel and the ensuing discussion with the cast and crew was nothing short of amazing. As we left the exhibition hall, I was incredibly excited by what I experienced and my expectations were through the roof for the series. As such, I went back and delved into the mythology and who Daredevil is at his core. Before you binge watch the series hitting Netflix on April 10th, this is what you should read to get a feel for the tone of a very different type of superhero.

Who is Daredevil?

Daredevil is Matt Murdock, a lawyer by day, crime fighting vigilante by night. His only super power is a ‘radar sense’ that substitutes for the sight that he lost when radioactive waste was spilled on his eyes as a child. Additionally, his hearing, touch, smell, and taste are incredibly heightened. As a child, he was bullied and harassed for his disability, but his father taught him never to retaliate, and to study hard. While doing so, he found a mentor, “Stick,” who has similar powers and trains him in martial arts. As if his childhood wasn’t enough, his father, a boxer, was murdered by the mob because he refused to throw a fight. Upon his death, the adolescent Matt Murdock used his skills to hunt down the men who did this with a vengeance.

Why You Should Read Daredevil?

Yeah sure, the Avengers are based in New York, but that’s not their main focus. Spider-Man has New York, too, sure, but it always just feels like he’s in a major city. Daredevil is based in Hell’s Kitchen, a neighborhood in the midst of being gentrified, but even in recent memory, the neighborhood was a cesspool. Hell’s Kitchen was the type of place you avoided if at all possible, and if you had to go, you made sure you went in broad daylight, looking over your shoulder.

Hell’s Kitchen is as much a character in Daredevil as anyone else. It defines Matt Murdock because he was born, raised, and orphaned there. Daredevil was then born from the taunts Murdock suffered as a kid, from the beatings endured, and ultimate the sense of justice that instilled. He tries to save someone every night, and that someone is sometimes himself. He deals with his own troubles, his love life, his work, his depression, and being a vigilante takes a toll on him.

Balance that with being a devout Catholic, and Matt Murdock is one of the most grounded characters in comics. His villains don’t try to take over the world, just his world. The Kingpin is to Daredevil as the Joker is to Batman, except the Kingpin brings the banality of the real evils we hear about in the news to life making him a much more believable villain.

Where to Start:

This seminal work by Frank Miller redefined Daredevil’s origin story. In costume, Daredevil only appears maybe twice. Instead, Matt Murdock is the focus of this book, and Miller focuses on what defines him, and why he dons the mask every night. During the New York Comic-Con panel, this book was cited multiple times as the source material for the Netflix series. You cannot begin to delve into Daredevil unless you read this.

Daredevil: Born Again

Again, Frank Miller at work here. You see the Kingpin against Daredevil, two arch-nemeses at each other’s throats, no holds barred. Matt Murdock is revealed as Daredevil, making both of his personas a living hell. Unfortunately for our hero, there is no magic in Hell’s Kitchen that makes people forget, only dire and real consequences for a vigilante where the law is pursuing him, and the criminals are one step ahead.

Daredevil: Yellow

We’re going to take a quick detour here from the dour intensity, and work our way to the early part of his career, when Murdock meets Karen Page, a love interest before becoming well, let’s just say she becomes a lot of things. Think of this as a palate cleanser for all the darkness that is to come. The book follows Matt and Karen as they start to fall in love, when being Daredevil was new, and when Matt still had hope for a happy ending.

Hopefully, this will serve as a bit of a primer for those of you who want a bit of knowledge before diving into Marvel’s Daredevil. I believe this series will be groundbreaking and since it’s not on network TV, the series can be true to one of the most groundbreaking heroes that defined an era in comics. Forget Ben Affleck’s Daredevil, and get ready for one hell of a ride.

A Look Back: Fast Five (2011)

By

Matt Perri

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April 1, 2015

Every day this week we’ll tackle the next movie in the Fast and Furious franchise, leading up to our review of Furious 7. Buckle up and join us as we all prepare for Furious 7 and that one last ride.

Day One: A Look Back: The Fast and the Furious (2001)

Day Two: A Look Back: 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

Day Three: Tokyo Drift was the Last Great Movie about the Love of Cars and Racing

Day Four: ‘Fast & Furious’ (2009) is Perhaps the Quintessential Film of the Franchise

FAST FIVE (2011)

Ah, one of the laziest films in the entire series. So far, we’ve had The Fast & The Furious: The Rise of Groot, 2 Fast 2 Furious 2: The 2-quel, The Fast & Furious: Season of the Witch, and Fast & Furious: The Search for the Word “The”. I mean, don’t get me wrong: they’ve been lazy. I’m pretty sure every sequel in this franchise is inspired by one of the producer’s kids playing with their Hot Wheels at the dinner table which, later, becomes a script where every three pages ends with “EXT. – THEY DRIVE OFF.”

If all that doesn’t sway you, compare the posters for the last two flicks. JUST LOOK AT THEM.

I can just imagine Universal all proud of themselves after this: “All right! We’ve got our title and our script and our poster and it only took five minutes! Time to hit the bar, fuckers!”

In any case, the story follows Brian (the late Paul Walker), who is “in trouble with the law”. For realz, this time. Not like two movies ago when he was just “in trouble with the law”.After his buddy, Dominic (Vin Diesel), was sentenced to prison in the last movie, Brian and Dominic’s crew manage to knock over his prison bus and save him. They don’t actually show the whole ordeal. All we know is that they knocked the bus over and Dominic’s missing. So, trust them. They totally did that.

Anyhow, Brian’s only friend is his girlfriend, and Dominic’s sister, Mia (Jordana Brewster). They’re hiding out in South America — but they’re also running out of money and, by extension, basic human necessities, which makes no sense being that these people can knock over prison buses and gas haulers and tanks but, ok, they’re fucking poor now. Brian figures that now would be a good time to pull a job: one that consists robbing a DEA transport train of some hot cars. Unfortunately, some DEA guys get killed during the heist and they send in their best guy to take Dominic and his crew down.

Which one was this again?

The one where The Rock joins the cast as the superhuman “DSS Agent Hobbs”, whose primary goal is to lay the smackdown on some car-stealin’ candy asses.

Best scene:

The opening train heist. It doesn’t exactly break new ground in the action genre, but it’s worth a view just for Vin Diesel not giving one actual fuck as he, willingly, drives a car off a 50-story cliff, which has an end result similar to when Wile E. Coyote’s ACME Rocket Skates malfunction.

Best (most iconic) line:

The Rock: “Hey, Toretto, you’re under arrest!”
Toretto: “I don’t feel like I’m under arrest…”

Actual best line:

Roman Pierce: “Sexy legs, baby girl. What time do they open?
Gisele (pulling a gun on him): “They open at the same time I pull this trigger. Want me to open them?”

How fast is it?

It’s pretty fast — and enjoyable. Despite the movie ditching its “race car movie” trappings for a heist flick formula, this movie works, even though it’s just as brainless as its predecessors.

How furious is it?

The Rock just chews scenery like Pac-Man. So, I guess he makes the movie kinda furious. Dealing with John Cena night after night will do that to you. Just give him the damn veggies, get him the girl who smiles all nice and stay the fuck out of his way.

‘Marvel’s Daredevil’ Review: Beautiful, Brutal, Brilliant

By

Bilal Mian

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April 1, 2015

4

The first five episodes of Marvel’s Daredevil were provided by Netflix for review.

While flipping through the pages of your favorite comic book, it is easy to forget how brutal the world of superheroes truly can be, especially for the street-level heroes. Up to this point, the Marvel Cinematic Universe has been saturated with superhuman powers, Iron Man suits, and villains who seek to conquer or destroy worlds.

This led me to be skeptical about whether or not Marvel’s Daredevil would be able to take what made their super-powered Cinematic Universe so popular and adapt it to their human heroes. How big of a threat could Wilson Fisk be when compared to Ronan, Loki, or any of the other MCU villains? What makes Matthew Murdock, a lawyer from Hell’s Kitchen, so special?

After watching the first five episodes, I can safely say that Marvel’s Daredevil transcends the current offering of comic book shows on television, redefining the genre as we know it.

Set in Hell’s Kitchen in New York City, Daredevil finds a city still on the mend two years after the Chitauri invasion that occurred near the end of Avengers. With nearly half the city destroyed during the attack, the world opened its arms to aid in the recovery, but not everyone has had the city’s best interest at heart. Backroom deals and corporate greed has transformed Hell’s Kitchen into a hive of criminal activity.

“I’m glad to hear that there is some new blood running around out there. Heroes and their consequences are why we have our current opportunities.”

Matthew Murdock (Charlie Cox), a lawyer blinded due to a chemical spill as a child, has taken it upon himself to protect the city he’s grown up in. Donning a black face mask, Murdock takes to the streets to deliver the most ruthless justice the Marvel Cinematic Universe has seen. Only don’t call him Daredevil just yet. Society has dubbed him as “Black Mask” for the time being. He may not have the name we recognize, but he certainly has the fight.

The beautifully crafted action sequences are a joy to watch as they bring the brutality of the comics to life. Any time a gun appears, it’s a reminder of Murdock’s mortality. There is an actual risk of physical harm for being a vigilante and Daredevil does not skimp away from it. I lost count of how many times I’ve flinched at the sight of broken bones or savage beat downs both given and received.

Let me just add that Daredevil is a very violent and, at times, a gory show. Even though the series lacks cursing (very rare if memory serves me right), and nudity (though there is one incident of side-boob), it does depict stabbings, torture, and decapitations. I’d think twice before letting the young ones watch with you.

An excellent fighter, to be sure, but Murdock is still a blind man. However, his lack of sight has led to his other senses becoming enhanced. He can hone in on sound as well as feel shifts in the air around him. Nevertheless, fans expecting to see the hero’s red “vision” during action sequences will be slightly disappointed as only one glimpse is offered in a brief moment during the fifth episode.

Fighting crime isn’t the only way Murdock delivers justice. Fresh off passing the BAR exam, Murdock is joined by Foggy Nelson and together they open a law office in Hell’s Kitchen. Their first case introduces them to Karen Page (Deborah Ann Woll) who’s been framed for the murder of her co-worker. Don’t expect a case-of-the-week show when it comes to the cases tackled by Nelson & Murdock. Every job taken by the law firm is tied into the main narrative in one way or another.

The acting is fantastic all around. Every single character delivers in their role. Charlie Cox is both heroic and sadistic as a lawyer by day and a vigilante by night. Watching Cox and Rosario Dawson together on-screen together is a treat as Dawson’s character, Claire Temple, aids Murdock with medical attention for his wounds. Elden Henson and Deborah Ann Woll bring the much-needed levity when the series starts to feel dark and heavy. Vondie Curtis-Hall was born to play Ben Urich and John Patrick Hayden delivers one hell of performance as Jack Murdock that will likely leave a few people in tears.

However great these actors may be, in my eyes they can’t compare to Toby Leonard Moore’s Wesley and Vincent D’Onofrio’s Wilson Fisk a.k.a. Kingpin. Watching Moore handle business as Fisk’s right hand man in a cool, collected manner is a blast. It’s hard to earn the trust of one of the most dangerous men in the Marvel Universe and Moore shows you just why he’s the man for the job.

D’Onofrio’s performance as Wilson Fisk is extraordinary, and by the end of the fourth episode, D’Onofrio cements himself as the only man for the role. He’s vulnerable with his love interest Vanessa (played by Ayelet Zurer), but when it comes down to business D’Onofrio’s Fisk is one of the most malicious villains in the MCU, and without a doubt in my mind, also the most compelling.

I can’t sing Marvel’s Daredevil’s praises enough. Visually the series is beautiful. The writing is smart, sharp, and leaves you on the edge of your seat. Fans looking for action will find the best choreographed sequences the MCU has seen to date – as well as the most ferocious. By capturing the human element, Marvel’s Daredevil proves you don’t need to be super-powered to be a superhero.

‘AGENTS OF SHIELD’ Recap: “One Door Closes”

By

Andrea Towers

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March 31, 2015