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Is the Spider-Verse Ending!? Check out The new Spider-Man #1 trailer to find out!

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Comic Photo of Spider-Man #1 the Mark Bagley Cover, where the wall-crawler twirls the web around his body while in a jumping pose in a white backdrop

Dan Slott and Mark Bagley’s Spider-Man #1 drops October 5

Coming this October, the end of the Spider-Verse is neigh in an all-new ongoing Spider-Man series presented by a pair of Spider-Man legends! As legendary Marvel writer Dan Slott and artist Mark Bagley, bring to audiences, a continuation of the adventure pulled right from the Edge of Spider-Verse (the Marvel limited series that’s familiarized fans with Spider-heroes from every corner of the multiverse.) with Spider-man #1!

“How does it feel to be writing Spider-Man again? Like I’m home. Like there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. How does it feel to be working on it with Mark Bagley, one of the greatest Spidey icons of all-time?! Honored, excited, and unstoppable!” Slott said in Marvel’s official press release. “Mark and I are two guys who live to tell Spider-Man stories. Cut us and we bleed Spider-Man. And now Marvel has entrusted the two of us to bring back their monthly– adjectiveless– SPIDER-MAN title! We are not going to let you down. We’re going to take BIG swings in each and every issue! And the first thing we’re doing, right out of the gate, is the Spider-Verse comic to END all Spider-Verse comics!”

“Dan and I have been wanting to work together for years, and having the opportunity to be the artist that is there to wrap up his Spider-Verse storyline is really exciting,” Bagley added. “Further, I’m thrilled to see where this book takes us from there.”

In this new run on Spider-Man, a brand new threat is on the way. Watch as Morlum and Shathra join forces in hopes of vanquishing Spider-Man for good, though our friendly neighborhood web-slinger won’t be taking on the duo solo!

Spider-Woman, Ghost-Spider, Miles Morales, Silk, and many more, will also take part in this fantastic battle giving the fans the ultimate final touch to our hero’s 60th-anniversary celebration!

Monica Rambeau, AKA Photon, is Coming in Hot With New Marvel Comic Series

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Eve L. Ewing and Michael Sta. Maria present Monica Rambeau: Photon, a new limited series due in December

While Monica Rambeau has actually been a star in the Marvel superhero pantheon for nearly four decades, it’s only now, that she’s finally taking center stage in her own story. Coming this December Monica headlines her first-ever solo comic series. Audiences, get ready for a five-issue limited-run of Monica Rambeau: Photon! Written by lauded author and academic Eve L. Ewing, with art by Michael Sta. Maria.

It all starts when Photon is entrusted with an extremely unusual cosmic delivery. A simple mission, if the stakes would just stop getting raised, as enemies from the stars, along with longstanding family drama, get in Monica’s way.

“It’s such an honor to be taking on the story of a legacy character like Monica Rambeau,” Ewing said in a press release from Marvel. “Monica’s character has a long history in the Marvel Universe, but she’s way overdue for getting her own story told. I’m picking the pen up from the legend himself, Dwayne McDuffie, who put out the last Monica Rambeau solo adventure almost three decades ago. It’s a privilege and I’m excited to tell the story in a way that both highlights her incredible cosmic abilities as well as her everyday, relatable struggles. I hope this will be a title that has something equal to offer to veteran readers and folks who may be brand new to comics.”

This Marvel icon has spent most of her career as leader and team player helping the likes of the New Orleans Harbor Patrol, The Avengers, and The Ultimates. Now, a new reality-shattering catastrophe will catapult her into the spotlight alone. Knowing the fate of it lies on what she does next, forces Photon to push her astounding abilities to their limits and beyond so that audiences can finally answer the question: Just what is Photon really capable of?

Find out in this enlightening trip through time and space.

Comic Book art of Monica Rambeau as Photon in hues of pink and blue.

MONICA RAMBEAU: PHOTON #1 (OF 5)

Written by EVE L. EWING

Art by MICHAEL STA. MARIA

Cover by LUCAS WERNECK

On Sale 12/7

She-Hulk Episode 2: Superhuman Law Review

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While Episode 2 of She-Hulk is Mighty Short, it Still Paves the Road Well for Future Story Arcs

Well, the good news is She-Hulk saved the day at the end of last week’s episode. The bad news is, her heroics were used against her to declare the case a mistrial, and she very quickly gets fired as a result. There’s lots of Jen being understandably mopey, talking with her bestie Nikki, and going to a truly awful family dinner. Her older parents clearly care about their daughter, but they’re not very good at reading the room. That goes double for her complete doofus of a cousin, Ched.

Superhuman Law | Besties

But, thankfully a new opportunity arises from GLK and H, the firm that had her last case declared a mistrial. Mr. Holliway wants to hire her, and Jen’s fortunes seem much brighter. There’s just one itty, bitty catch. They only want her to represent the firm in her superhero form. And let’s just say Jen isn’t comfortable with that, at least not yet. That said, she needs the money and wants to use her prodigious law skills, so she is seriously considering it. Which leads to her first client—Emil Blonsky, AKA the Abomination. Also known as the big, mean, green monster that tried to kill her cousin Bruce.

Jen wants to push back against the assignment, but Holliway makes it clear that either she takes it, or she leaves the firm. So Jen does her due diligence and goes to meet Emil in person. He’s being held at a maximum security prison that doesn’t allow superpowered individuals to enter. Meaning Jen has to shrink down before they let her in. To her great surprise, when she walks into the cell, Emil is tiny too, comfortable in his human form. Apparently he’s a changed man, and he offers to read haikus that he wrote to all his victims. Goofy humor aside, Jen starts to believe that perhaps he does want to do good, and so agrees to accept his case.

Tim Roth as Abomination/Emil Blonsky in Marvel Studios’ She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, exclusively on Disney+. Photo courtesy of Marvel Studios. © 2022 MARVEL.

Later on she’s talking with cousin Bruce and trying to get his permission to take the job, which he readily gives. Though he has other things on his mind, since he’s apparently taking a trip in a Sakaaran cruiser someplace unknown. Yup, it’s all coming up Jen, and she tells Holliway she’ll be taking the new position in superhuman law. Moments later he has her look at the news, and she discovers that her “reformed” client Emil has escaped and is thrashing opponents in an unsanctioned fight club. Suffice to say, poor Jen looks to have a lot on her plate as the series continues.

Superhuman Law | Awkward

Overall, I thought Superhuman Law was another solid episode of the great but painfully short format. Maslany continues to showcase her great acting skills, and I loved how she portrayed Jen as mopey, goofy, determined and much more here. I also thought her parents and cousin Ched were nice touches. It remains to be seen where the larger arc of the series will go, but I have a feeling Jen is gonna become a much less reluctant hero, and probably have another run in with superpowered influencer Titania. Be sure to tune in to The Workprint for more coverage of She-Hulk in the coming weeks!

Check Out The Return of Marvel’s Voices Today!

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An image in teal with the Marvel's Voices Podcast Logo

Released every Thursday everywhere podcasts are available, the Marvel Voices podcast takes a look at the world outside our window, right now.

Writer. Attorney. Journalist. Producer. There isn’t much Angélique Roché can’t do, having worked at some of the biggest pop-culture publications as both a contributor, editor, panel moderator, and even, red carpet host. Which is why seeing her return to lead the Marvel’s Voices podcast series is pretty amazing.

This season will focus ‘Marvel: A Window to Our World’ as its theme, with a look at some of the culturally rooted influences that inspired some of the Marvel Universe, as Roché and several guest hosts from the best of Marvel’s talent pool, engage in some seriously deep conversations regarding each artist’s process, collaborations, and creative journey. All with a focus on how both nationality, and truly, cultural diversity, continue to inspire the Marvel world.

What’s nifty about this season will be the emphasis on how the comics, told in English for generations, have oddly made their way around the world recently thanks to the rise in digital comics. As many users from around the world can access these stories in ways that they couldn’t before, helping bring a more diverse culture and talent into the fold.

You can listen to the episode above though it’s also available on the SXM App, Apple Podcasts, Amazon, and Spotify. The first episode features letterer Janice Chiang, the first Chinese-American woman letterer at Marvel.

The remaining episodes of the season will include:

  • Nigerian artist Adedotun Akande and writer Murewa Ayodele (Moon Knight: Black, White and Blood)
  • Japanese comic creator Peach Momoko
  • South African writer and musician Mohale Mashigo (Miles Morales & Moon Girl #1, Avengers and Moon Girl #1)
  • West African and French writer Juni Ba (Black Panther Vol. 8 #3)
  • Argentine-American comic writer Fabian Nicieza
  • Puerto Rican director of the Spanish-language audio series ‘Wolverine: La Larga Noche’ Alejandra Lopez

“This season we continue the exploration of the vastness of Marvel by highlighting the accuracy of the phrase, ‘Marvel, Your Universe.’ Each episode presents a new perspective, a journey… another window into not just the cultural impact of Marvel on the world but the cultures that have influenced and impacted Marvel, our stories and our characters,” said host Angélique Roché in a statement from Marvel. “From Japan to South Africa, Paris to Argentina, the richness of our stories has long benefited and continue to benefit from the richness of the identities, lived experiences, and imaginations of creatives around the world.”

The podcast will also feature some comments from former Marvel’s Voices guests in the form of Creator-Led Conversations. Segments where Marvel writers will guest host and talk to other creators about their careers. Confirmed thus far are guests Karama Horne, Marika Hashimoto, and Tochi Onyebuchi. The 8-episode series is produced by Isabel Robertson and Kara McGuirk-Allison, and executive produced by Jill Du Boff.

If that wasn’t enough, Marvel’s Voices is also moving into consumer products with a Walmart exclusive artist capsule collection that highlights the work, contributions, and lived experiences of Marvel creators and fans of color, along with some Black Panther Legacy program goods. The new capsule collection by artists Nardstar and Damion Scott feature Funko collectibles, with more to arrive later this year. Cans can learn more over at Walmart’s Marvel Hub

Host Angélique Roché is also co-authoring a forthcoming non-fiction book, My Super Hero is Black from Marvel and Simon and Schuster/Gallery Books (available 10.11.22) and will be featured in Titan Books’ upcoming Marvel’s Black Panther: Script To Page (available 10.4.22).

A New Marvel Masterworks Collection Arrives in 2023 Complete with Brand New Content and Artwork

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Marvel REMASTERWORKS Spider-man

Fans of the Original Marvel Stories Can Check Out This New Masterworks Collection

I’ve always considered myself a serious comic book fan—especially with Marvel. Back when I was eleven years old and only a junior superhero fanatic, my father bought me two of Marvel’s better-known collections of reprints. 

The first was a pocket-sized edition of 1977’s Stan Lee Presents The Amazing Spider-Man which contained a reprint of Amazing Fantasy #15 and The Amazing Spider-Man issues #1 – 6 by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. This mini 3 by 5 paperback came with an introduction from Stan “The Man” Lee and included a “Spidey Feature” of his skills and abilities.

It’s great, but it’s tiny. A man my age needs to squint to read some of the print.

Pocket-sized Spidey
This 3X5 pocket-sized edition of some of Spider-man’s first stories is handy but sometimes hard to read.

The second was Origins of Marvel Comics, again by Stan Lee. In what was the first of many secret origin stories of what would become the main lineup of Marvel heroes, villains, and super-teams, this collection included the first reprints of the Fantastic Four, the Hulk, Spider-Man, Thor, and Doctor Strange. Stan penned the introduction, between chapter setups, and the epilogue in his unique brand of expositional flair.

I still have both copies. I still read them. And they are falling apart. They have been read to death.

A Battered Copy of Origins of Marvel Comics by Stan Lee
An eleven-year-old can do a lot of damage to a trade edition of a soft cover collectible.

This is what happens when you give an eleven-year-old kid a trade copy of anything.

In all humility, I can say that my collection of comics and graphic novels is impressive. They are exactly what you would expect from a man who has passionately followed super-heroes’ stories for over forty years. However, my books have seen better days and as most of my books are kept in my dungeon located miles beneath the earth’s crust, they are not very presentable.

Part of being a collector is having the unquenchable desire to not only collect things but present your collection in a handsome, elegant way.

The serious collector needs a quality collectible.

Marvel Comics has collected the seminal stories of the Marvel Universe in Marvel Masterworks—and now, 330 volumes later, and beginning in 2023, Marvel is proud to welcome fans to Marvel Remasterworks!

By popular demand, the Remasterworks will be new printings of early Marvel Masterworks, now with improved restoration and expanded bonus material including scans of original art, essays, and covers from other collections of the works, house ads, creator bios, and more! Dedicated to Marvel fans, these are the comics that built the Marvel Comics mythology and represent Marvel’s latest step in preserving its treasured history.

Of the original Marvel Masterworks, I own volume one of Captain Marvel from the 1967 series run. This begins with Marvel Superheroes #12 as written by Stan Lee and illustrated by Gene Colan. These beautiful hardcover editions have been reprinted in vibrant color on a quality paper stock that brings a better reading experience than the original pulp prints.

Masterwork Captain Marvel 1
The beautiful vibrant inks show the true mastery of Gene Colon’s work in Marvel Masterworks Captain Marvel volume 1.

Marvel Remasterworks will debut next year starting with Marvel Masterworks: The Amazing Spider-Man Vol. 1, which includes scans of the original artwork to Amazing Fantasy #15, and followed by Marvel Masterworks: The Fantastic Four Vol. 1 and Marvel Masterworks: The X-Men Vol. 1.

If you missed purchasing these historic early volumes of the Marvel Masterworks line the first time around, now is your chance to own them! With plans to do only a single printing of each volume, don’t miss your opportunity to have these must-have Marvel Comics collections, now in their utmost glory! 

  • On Sale May 2023 – MARVEL MASTERWORKS: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN VOL. 1 HC – REMASTERWORKS MARVEL MASTERWORKS: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN VOL. 1 HC– REMASTERWORKS (DM EXCLUSIVE VARIANT COVER)
  • On Sale June 2023 – MARVEL MASTERWORKS: THE FANTASTIC FOUR VOL. 1 HC – REMASTERWORKS MARVEL MASTERWORKS: THE FANTASTIC FOUR VOL. 1 HC – REMASTERWORKS (DM EXCLUSIVE VARIANT COVER)
  • On Sale July 2023 – MARVEL MASTERWORKS: THE X-MEN VOL. 1 HC – REMASTERWORKS MARVEL MASTERWORKS: THE X-MEN VOL. 1 HC – REMASTERWORKS (DM EXCLUSIVE VARIANT COVER)

Resident Alien Season 2 Episode 11 Review: The Weight

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RESIDENT ALIEN -- "The Weight" Episode 211 -- Pictured: (l-r) Gary Farmer as Dan Twelvetrees, Sara Tomko as Asta Twelvetrees -- (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

The Weight of the World Bears Down On Asta in this Bittersweet Episode

This week’s Resident Alien was a bit unexpected. While there were definitely some humorous moments in The Weight, there’s also some unexpected revelations, and one truly shocking moment. And though Asta seemed in better spirits last week, here she’s clearly still being weighed down by the burden of killing a man.

To my surprise, that big revelation I mentioned happened very quickly. David and the General are trying to find the mole by watching a live-feed from their black ops prison. They discount a conflict between a guard and a prisoner, but we see the full story. Namely, that guard uses telepathy to threaten the prisoner, showing he’s not just only one of the dangerous new alien species, but also the one that tried to assassinate David earlier. Better yet, he’s played by the talented Enver Gjokaj from Agent Carter and Dollhouse fame.

We also get some interesting tidbits about Gerard, the man Harry Kevorkian-ed last week. Ellen tries and fails to take a fancy scarf from his belongings, only to get told off by Asta. Then when Harry and Asta talk, it’s indicated that Harry putting him to death wasn’t exactly sanctioned euthanasia. Worse, Asta seems quite upset with Harry, and he’s not taking it well at all.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “The Weight” Episode 211 — Pictured: (l-r) — Corey Reynolds as Sheriff Mike Thompson, Meredith Garretson as Kate Hawthorne, Elizabeth Bowen as Olivia ‘Liv’ Baker, Sara Tomko as Asta Twelvetrees — (Photo by: Eike Shroter/SYFY)

The police are getting closer and closer to the truth, despite their shortcomings. Torres quickly identifies that Asta recognizes the man that tried to kill Harry, and later on they find the wallet Goliath vomited up.

D’Arcy is also having a rough time. First because she’s feeling the weight of helping hide a dead body, but also because she’s worried her relationship with Elliot will suffer from her own secrets. D’Arcy also reconnects with a mentor that helped teach her to ski, and he helps reorient her, motivating her to compete in a big ski event.

Mayor Ben and wife Kate also have a few misadventures, mostly dealing with their son Max. They don’t want him to know that Kate is pregnant, but Max probably wouldn’t care. He’s much more interested in getting a drum set, but his parents don’t want all that noise, and say they won’t pay for it. Which of course leads to Max deciding to talk with Harry.

Harry is desperate to find baby Goliath, and even follows his trail into the mine that terrified him last week. But there he discovers that Goliath is no longer in alien form, but has instead taken a human hybrid form. Which makes him much harder to track. So, why not work with the only human that can see aliens in their true form?

RESIDENT ALIEN — “The Weight” Episode 211 — Pictured: (l-r) Judah Prehn as Max Hawthorne, Alan Tudyk as Alien Harry — (Photo by: Eike Shroter/SYFY)

This leads to a poorly planned alliance between Max and Harry. Harry, of course, has no idea Max knows all about the identity of little Goliath. The little hustler uses that to leverage Harry into paying him to do chores, promising he’ll keep his eyes peeled for the alien. There’s a fantastic montage, including Max being a footstool, serving Harry milk and hammering his back. On the plus side, this leads to Max getting enough money for his drum set. On the negative side, this infuriates his mom, who confronts Harry about the whole thing, leading to Harry lying to cover his butt.

There’s even a team up between Liv and Asta, as they work together to check on Sam Hodges’ death. They find a common thread of a place called Hawthorne Creek and rashes, leading them to suspect a heavy metal poisoning cover-up. Which seems unimportant for now, but I’m sure it will fit into the larger picture soon. As a bonus, this series of interrogations reveals Judy and her hairless cat Kevin, a really abusive and absurd relationship.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “The Weight” Episode 211 — Pictured: (l-r) Alice Wetterlund as D’arcy Bloom, Sara Tomko as Asta Twelvetrees — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

What I was shocked to realize in The Weight is that the General, played by Linda Hamilton, is truly not a good person. I’d even go so far as to now construe her as a villain. See, David helps her realize that doctor Ethan is probably human. So she tests that theory by releasing him from prison, ascertaining he knows nothing about the alien sphere, and then giving it to him before pushing him off a cliff to what would otherwise be a certain death. Sure, he survives, but he’s badly hurt. And instead of helping him, she drops him on the side of a Albuquerque street with some drugs, leaving him to his devices.

The big moment in the episode happens after Max lets slip he knows the identity of the baby alien. Him and Harry head to the RV, only to find the police already on the hunt. Harry uses a subsonic scream to confuse the search dogs, but it also draws some angry birds to him, to hilarious effect.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “The Weight” Episode 211 — Pictured: (l-r) Alan Tudyk as Alien Harry, Judah Prehn as Max Hawthorne — (Photo by: Eike Shroter/SYFY)

Harry thinks he’s golden once he comes to the RV, but Sahar interferes. She keeps Goliath from going to Harry, eventually convincing the little rascal to scamper off. He quickly gets hit by D’Arcy’s car, but is largely unharmed, running deeper into the woods.

It all ends with Harry finally trying to be a good friend, and confiding fully in Asta. Kate also gets news that she’s not actually pregnant, and the General is now hunting for Harry in Patience. A fun episode, especially the “baby pooping” moment with Sahar and Goliath. I also appreciated that it looks like Mike and Torres might be starting up a relationship. A solid episode, though I hope next week’s is a bit more focused on humor.

What We Do In The Shadows Recap – Go Flip Yourself

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Change can be frightening. It can also be exciting.

Sometimes letting go in hitting into the unknown is just what the doctor ordered and on this eighth episode of What We Do In The Shadows (FX), titled “Go Flip Yourself”, maybe hitting into that wall that is blocking you requires some literal tools of destruction.

You can’t build it up until you tear it down.

We open the episode on a hot establishing shot of the Big Apple before turning to the Brothers’ Daltry, Bran (Randy Sklar), and Toby (Jason Sklar). They are in la Isla de Staten on one of their most challenging missions yet: the “Mixed-Up Mansion”.

The obligatory introduction over the backdrop of Yez Pike’s “Make You A Believer” is worthy of any slot on HGTV’s addictive makeover roster, including the b-roll of Staten Island in full effect before getting down to the brass tacks with the Inspection of the residence

Because the inhabitants were told to keep the door unlocked for a ‘power meter reading’, the twins Ambush them. There’s only one problem… Upon entering, Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) summarily snuffs out Toby.

Laszlo (Matt Berry) doesn’t even notice or care, as he’s simply ecstatic to be in the presence of Bran, even with the cameraman catching Nadja finishing off her celebrity snack.

Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) in the background disposes of Toby’s corpse, Bran addresses the audience. His brother is a little under the weather, but everybody decided to weather on due to Nadja’s ‘guided meditation’, which boiled down to her hypnotizing everyone to forget they witnessed a murder. #GetWellSoonToby

With 8,474 sq. feet of unbridled potential, the inhabitants are now profiled. Laszlo is a part-time railroad worker/graphic designer sick of the lack of storage space for him and ‘his nephew’ Colin (Mark Proksch). He seems to be having the time of his undead life though, even quoting Episode 113 of Go Flip Yourself, citing the current state of the living space as “Frank Lloyd Wrong.”

Nandor (Kayvan Novak) and Marwa (Parisa Fakhri) as the newly married couple claim to have a passion for cooking and seem to be highly dissatisfied with their master bedroom, with their styles both being French Country with a touch of shabby chic. They love the same things and Nandor is clearly getting irritated with her during the interview.

Guillermo and Nadja are two nightclub owners that are tired of coming home to cramped quarters leading to much tension between the two.

Next comes the assessment of the total budget for the renovation. Laszlo wants to give the household’s whole life savings to the project, but once Bran mentions what that entails, Nadja goes on the defensive. Guillermo isn’t fond of the tree leading to a gaping thoroughfare for the raccoons, but Laszlo’s still enamored with what is happening, going as far as to buzz market Milwaukee tools for the camera.

Now it’s up to Bran in convincing everyone to be on the same page, starting with the laptop Pitch.

This starts with knocking out all the walls for an open concept first floor. Secondly, the dank old master storage would be replaced with an all-white his/hers mega-closet for Nadja’s shoes and Doll opposite a dedicated hat wall for Laszlo’s chapeaus. So far, Lasz is digging it, though Guillermo isn’t too jazzed. As for the upstairs attic, Nandor and Marwa’s upstairs would be converted into a master suite. Nandor’s not convinced until option B is proposed for being converted into a man-cave, where women would not be allowed.

Nadja is hating all of it and having none of it, including a wall for hats of which Laszlo only has five, the witch skin being of utmost import. Not to be outdone, Bran pulls out the plan for a master bath with a golden commode and though she doesn’t defecate, she’s interested.

With all possibilities in their noodles, Bran’s left them to deliberate. Nadja’s not worried, as she’s included her hypnosis straight into the camera to include anybody laying eyes on the footage including all on production.

It’s now Decision Time and after a little bit of the drummed-up tension, 3 out of 4 have decided to “Embrace Their Space!”

This couldn’t be sweeter to Bran’s ears, as he wants to up their curb appeal by resodding both the front lawn and back yard, which worries Guillermo for reasons that should be obvious.

It matters none, as the Demolition montage has the entire household happy. Even Baby Colin’s predilection for destruction has a purpose.

Even Marwa seems to be having fun with her menial quarters, complete with a door that locks. After seeing what Bran can do with his 3/4, Nandor is quickly coming around to what could be.

However, some dreams come at a cost. As it turns out, the City Building Inspector’s office (Guillermo) has a bone to pick with the undertaking.

Coming back to the big reveal before the ‘big reveal’, it turns out Guillermo’s living situation legally cannot be called a room. What this means is that to get Guillermo’s room up to code, the budget allocation needs to get rid of Nadja’s gold toilet for Guillermo to have proper ventilation. Additionally, the ‘Home Is Where the Wine Is’ sign for Nandor’s man cave needs to be nixed to close the open septic tank pooling underneath Gizmo’s bed.

On a lighter side, Marwa surprises Bran and shocks Nandor with her own mid-reno addition. From a bar with used saddle seats, earthy tones, and a big screen tv to a mini-basketball court with an NBA regulation net, Nandor is loving his wife even more because he’s loving himself more. This Shangri-la is Marwa’s cave, not his. Ahh, I love a good regret.

As the finishing touches are being put into place, the Big Reveal has arrived and once the blindfolds are removed, Laszlo seems concerned.

Laszlo is revealed to be looking at the neighbor’s house anyway, but from the exterior, absolutely nothing has changed. Outside of a few bright flourishes, neither has the inside either, save for a gorgeous walk-in closet, but his/hers was a lie.

So is Bran, as he’s our old chum Simon the Devious (Nick Kroll). The whole thing from pitch to selling, the 150 episodes, and even the partnering with Kohl’s for the Daltry Living line was all an elaborate scheme to gain access to the Witch Hat.

Ya gotta hand it to him, he totally lives up to his honorific. This is especially true when the crew is his crew. Big Vlad, Blavglad the Exsanguinator, Gonthrapple, Wesley Sikes, the Freak Sisters, Mr. 50s, Evil Steve, Adele Dazeem donning a 525,600 Minutes tee, Freakfest Tony, The Silent One (Craig Burnatowski), Greg, Desdemona the Shrieker (still hasn’t lost her touch), a guy he still doesn’t know, Elvis himself (Shawn Klush), Ronaldo the Elder, Ken the Zombie of his former accountant and last but not least, the boom operator, Count Rapula (Mike Dara) are all part of the ultimate plan. Even Toby, a Naval Flight Instructor and father to three that Simon paid for to study architecture in order to have him as the wingman for the show.

Talk about your truly broadsided Big Reveal.

Simon doesn’t mind the show airing, as his biggest viewership is in airports and hospital waiting rooms, places where minds are elsewhere. This is evident when he once showed the gaping maw of than asshole for 10 solid seconds sans complaint.

The Devious got what he wanted, and after his crew peaces out as bats, with insouciance does their leader but not before making a fumbling exit due to the corporeal curse he’s sporting as a trophy.

After the humiliation, the camera person still needs to get a pre-credits button so that the episode can air and that they may be paid the $1200 as guests. They comply and report that with the cursed headwear no longer in the house, random boiler room fires have ceased and sewage has somewhat dried up.

We get a preview of next week’s Go Flip Yourself. Does Bran get hoisted by his own petard once again?

With the entire episode played like a true HGTV episode, complete with background music and super-imposed graphics, perfectly timed commercial breaks, and spot-on narration (Tina Morasco), nothing was spared. This includes leaving out the Intro we’ve all come to love and sing.

Totally experimental but still on-brand for the show, much like “B.A.N.” from Atlanta, there are only two episodes left, and like with its previous two seasons, we don’t know where the fuck they go, so I’m wickedly excited about what’s bringing us into the home stretch.

The Final Issue of Fortnite x Marvel: Zero War is Coming… Get Ready by Checking Out All Six Covers!

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This amazing run by Christos Gage, Donald Mustard, and Sergio Dávila’s is ending with Fortnite X Marvel: Zero War #5. Available in stores on September 28th

As the fans of both universes know, the Marvel and Fortnite heroes are combining forces to fight against the obliteration of both their universes in the new limited comic series Fortnite X Marvel: Zero War, written by Christos Gage and Epic Games’ CCO Donald Mustard, with art by Sergio Davíla.

Come September 28th the epic final issue since the run first dropped, concludes, with its fifth issue. Bringing with it the heart-stopping conclusion to what’s been a truly larger-than-life battle! If fans are chomping at the bit then they will want to take a look at the six covers for Fortnite X Marvel: Zero War #5 – this includes a new piece by Donald Mustard, and, a piece that shows off Spidey’s brand-new Fortnite Outfit.

So, what happens when Doom teams up with the most dangerous characters in Fortnite? More importantly, what’s his endgame? And what will he need to do to reach it?

Each first print issue (physical copies only) of Fortnite x Marvel: Zero War contains a redeemable code to unlock a bonus digital cosmetic in Fortnite! Digital single-issue comic book purchases of Fortnite x Marvel: Zero War do not include any redeemable codes for Fortnite in-game bonus rewards. The in-game items Marvel and Fortnite fans can look forward to unlocking with Fortnite x Marvel: Zero War #5 will be an exclusive new Fortnite x Marvel: Zero War loading screen! Plus any fan who redeems all five issue codes (physical copies only) will receive a new bonus Fortnite x Marvel: Zero War outfit!

Check out all six covers now and pick up the final issue of Fortnite x Marvel: Zero War on September 28. And retailers, don’t forget to order your copies ASAP!

 

FORTNITE X MARVEL: ZERO WAR #5 (OF 5)

Written by CHRISTOS GAGE & DONALD MUSTARD

Art by SERGIO DÁVILA

Cover by LEINIL FRANCIS YU – 75960620430400511

 

Variant Cover by RON LIM – 75960620430400521

 

Variant Cover by MARIA WOLF – 75960620430400531

 

Variant Cover by DONALD MUSTARD – 75960620430400541

 

Variant Cover by MARTIN COCCOLO – 75960620430400561

 

Variant Cover by RYAN BROWN – 75960620430400551

 

Marvel Multiverse Role-Playing Game Core Rulebook and Cataclysm of Kang Expansion arriving Summer 2023

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Comic-styled art cover of Marvel Multiverse Role-Playing Game featuring Spider-man in the foregrand and a group of Marvel heroes in combat in the backdrop

It’s a Dungeons and Dragons-styled game that’s less fantasy and more superheroes, written by award-winning game designer and NYT bestselling author Matt Forbeck.

Fans of superhero-themed dungeon adventures rejoice! As Marvel is out with more details regarding its hit new RPG: Marvel Multiverse, including release dates you’ll not want to miss out on, along with some pretty nifty art revealed below, too. 

Written by gaming mastermind Matt Forbeck, whose works include the crafting of both The Marvel Encyclopedia and Dungeons & Dragons: Dungeonology, and featuring gorgeous covers by artist Iban Coello, this role-playing game looks like a fun game to try out with people who love D&D or Marvel. Or really, just play with anyone who’d like to role play as their favorite Avengers, superheroes, or Marvel villains. All for a butt-kicking good time. 

The company has announced two books for release to go with the RPG set in Summer 2023. First is the ‘Marvel Multiverse Role-Playing Game: Core Rulebook’ releasing June 2023. An update from the original Playtest Rulebook, this book will feature all of the rules of the game along with profiles of dozens of Marvel heroes and villains.

Afterward, comes the release of the ‘Marvel Multiverse Role-Playing Game: The Cataclysm of Kang’. Set for debut on July 2023, this expansion adventure book features new characters and a series of six interlocked adventures, which players can play through using new heroes, and even, run a campaign of going from street-level zeroes to cosmic galaxy-saving heroes!   

“We’re absolutely thrilled with the volume and quality of the feedback the Narrators and players gave us on the Playtest Rulebook, and we truly took it to heart for in the core rulebook,” said Matt Forbeck in a statement with Marvel. “We have a huge playtest update coming out soon that streamlines the game and makes it even easier to understand and play. I can’t wait for fans to try it out ahead of the full release of these books next summer!” 

Each book will be available wherever books and graphic novels are sold.

 

MARVEL MULTIVERSE ROLE-PLAYING GAME: CORE RULEBOOK HC 

ON SALE JUNE 2023  

WRITTEN BY MATT FORBECK 

COVER BY IBAN COELLO 

 

MARVEL MULTIVERSE ROLE-PLAYING GAME: THE CATACLYSM OF KANG HC 

Marvel Multiverse Role Play Game Kang

ON SALE JULY 2023  

WRITTEN BY MATT FORBECK 

COVER BY IBAN COELLO 

 

HBO’s House of the Dragon May Be Taking the Wrong Lessons from Game of Thrones

House of the Dragon review

 

House of the Dragon
Season 1, Episode 1: “The Heir of the Dragon”
Air Date: 8/21/2022

Hello, fellow citizens of Westeros! Welcome to The Workprint’s weekly recaps of the Game of Thrones prequel, House of the Dragon. I am your Review Maester for this journey. 

My wife and I were huge fans of GOT during the initial run on HBO, to the point where my we named our puppy Daenerys. I will admit to having no small amount of trepidation about this new series, seeing as how the last one didn’t exactly stick the landing. (That’s me bending over backwards to be exceedingly gracious. King Bran, my ass.)

Still, I loved 90% of that show, and I even liked the last season more than most. (Except for Euron, the dollar store pirate. He can go straight to the seven hells and burn.) So, let’s give it a go.

This takes place 172 years before the birth of Daenerys (the princess, not my dog) As the opening narration helpfully explains, House Targaryen has ruled for 100 years and they command ten adult dragons. King Jaeharys has been on the throne for sixty years of peace and prosperity, but as he grows older the line of succession is in doubt. Both of his sons died, leaving no obvious heir, so a Grand Council is held to determine the next ruler. It comes down to a choice between the king’s daughter, Princess Rhaenys, and the king’s nephew, Viserys. The council selects Viserys, because he’s a man. 

house of the dragon review king viserys

We jump ahead nine years into King Viserys’s reign. Princess Rhaenyra (Milly Alcock) is soaring majestically above King’s Landing on a gold dragon named Syrax. Good to know HBO still has the effects budget to give us what we want, namely dragons and lots of them. After landing, she hurries off to her mother, Queen Aemma (Dang, George R.R. Martin. Enough with all these extraneous A’s.) She is extremely pregnant, hoping to provide the king with a proper male heir. In classic fantasy tradition, Rhaenyra would rather be a knight and ride dragons than give birth to heirs, but as her mother says “the childbed is our battlefield.” Foreshadowing!

Aemma is due any day, and in anticipation, Viserys  (Paddy Considine) is holding the Heir’s Tournament. Viserys is certain that his new son will be born during the tournament, sealing his legacy. However, there does exist a current heir, the king’s brother Daemon (Matt Smith). He’s clearly ambitious, even though he’s blown off all the high council meetings. We first see him, lounging on the Iron Throne, playing the cool uncle to his niece. 

Daemon leads the City Watch, aka the Gold Cloaks. They seem extremely loyal to Daemon, and eager to show it. I’m sure that the ambitious brother leading a paramilitary force of unchecked psychopaths will have no ill effects or bad consequences at all!

In advance of the coming tournament. Daemon leads the Watch on a sweep of the criminals in King’s Landing. This is a brutal sequence where Daemon helps to dish out graphic, eye-for-an-eye punishments. Thieves get hands chopped off, murderers are killed, rapists… well, you can guess. Please note that the King’s Landing justice system consists of one of the guard pointing at you and shouting “Thief!” And then, the punishment. Even though the level of violence shocks the high council, the king reluctantly backs his brother. Got to keep the streets safe!

After a hard night of dispensing justice, It’s time for Daemon to celebrate, and since it’s Game of Thrones, where else would he go? The brothel! It’s not GOT without a visit to the Street of Silk! Seems that HBO is leaning hard on the dragons and boobs formula that has served them well in the past. His favorite working girl, Mysaria (Sonoya Mizuno) sees he’s stressed and suggests adding in an extra girl, maybe even a maiden with platinum hair, which, ew. It clearly implies that Daemon has eyes on his niece. Another bit of foreshadowing to come into play.

And speaking of foreshadowing, both the King and Queen are giving heavy indicators they won’t be around much longer. Aemma tells her husband that after a total of five miscarriages, stillbirths, and crib deaths in the last decade, this will be her last pregnancy. And the King has a weird, seeping wound on his back that the maesters can’t fix. Nothing ominous there!

On the day of the Heir’s Tournament, Aemma has gone into labor as the maesters predicted. Meanwhile, the current heir, Daemon, is working his way through the challengers. He’s not above fighting dirty. (At one point, he trips a horse with his lance.)  I do have to say, as much of a shit as he is, his armor looks fantastic. Jet black, with a dragon-winged helmet. That will be a big hit among the cosplayers next year. He meets his match when he gets to Ser Christon Cole (Fabien Frankel), the common-born Dorniesh son of the steward to the Lord of Blackhaven. Cole bests Daemon in jousting and the trial at arms and gets Daemon to yield before he kills him. Kinda seems like it would save everyone a lot of time and energy later on if Cole had just killed him here. Same as if Tyrion had just bitch slapped Joffrey to death back at Winterfell. The handsome Cole asks Princess Rhaenyra for her favor, which she does, and you don’t need to consult a maester or an oracle to see where this might lead.

Back at the childbirth, things are not going well. Aemma is having a breech birth and the maesters cannot turn the baby. She is in an enormous amount of pain. The Grand Maester takes the king aside and explains to him the “impossible choice.” He may have to choose the life of the baby or the mother, or risk losing them both. After a moment’s hesitation, he chooses the baby. The maesters and midwives then proceed to cut open Aemma – while she’s still conscious, with Viserys telling her not to worry – and take the baby from her. This is one of the worst things I’ve ever seen on TV. It’s a brutal, bloody, violation. After all is done, Aemma is dead, but hey! At least the king finally got his male heir. Oh wait, was that a cough from the little baby? Whoops.

house of the dragon review aemma targaryen

Cut to the funeral pyre. Aemma’s body is wrapped up next to a little tiny bundle. (Great job, Viserys!) Rhaenyra is choked with rage and grief – grief at the loss of her mother, and rage at her father. She can barely utter Dracarys to get her beloved Syrax to start the pyre. She brushes off Daemon’s urging to go talk to her father. “I wonder, if during the few hours my brother lived, my father finally found happiness.”

The King’s Hand, Lord Otto Hightower (Rhys Ifans), has his own schemes. He sends his young daughter (and Rhaenyra’s best friend), Alicent (Emily Carey), to go comfort the king. In his bed chamber. (Again, ew.) Viserys is too busy carving his model replica of King’s Landing to think much of this, but I’m sure that will come into play later on. I’m sure Rhaenyra will be totally happy to call her best friend “mom.” Can’t see any issues with that!

Hightower has been butting heads with Daemon all episode. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the ass-kicking Daemon gave his son in the tournament. Nothing at all! Otto makes sure the King hears all about the party Daemon threw for the watch at a brothel, where during the wild orgy,  Daemon stops everything to refer to the dead child as “heir for a day.” Ouch. That’s harsh, even for a dick like him. Enraged, the king banishes Daemon back to his wife’s kingdom in the Vale of Arryn. Viserys instead names his daughter Rhaenyra to be his heir to the throne. As the various lords of the realm pledge their loyalty to her, Viserys tells her of the dream of Aegon Targaryen. The dream of the end of the world of men, of an endless winter, a winter that is coming. He called this dream “The Song of Ice and Fire.” (Oooh, they said the title!) Every Targaryen king has kept this secret charge, and now it’s Rhaenyra’s turn. And as Rhaenyra accepts her new position, the familiar strains of the Game of Thrones theme start to play.

house of the dragon review

So, overall, there’s potential here. The pieces are at play, even though the foreshadowing is way too heavy-handed. Rhaenyra is the future heir, despite opposition from the King’s Council. Alliances between Dorne and the Targaryens are percolating. The king’s bitter, vicious, ambitious brother is on the move with his dragon, and the threat of winter is in the air. The acting is impressive so far, with Ifans and Alcock being standouts. Smith looks to be a fun villain, even if he doing a little too much mustache-twirling early on. But I’m not entirely on board yet. That has to do with a couple of the same criticisms on the original series, namely the gratuitous sex and violence. 

After watching the first episode, I’m a little concerned that they took away exactly the wrong lessons from GOT.  Did you have issues with the graphic physical and sexual violence of Game of Thrones? Well, guess what? We’re doubling down! The much-criticized sexposition scenes? They’re back! Brutal deaths? We got ‘em! Lots of bloody face-pulping at the tournament! 

Now I am not suggesting for a second that fantasy be nothing but happy elves and gnomes. Please explore mature and adult themes. But why are “adult themes” always expressed as brutality? My favorite parts of Game of Thrones were always the scheming and the machinations. The only time I ever stopped watching was when the show got a little too into Sansa being degraded by Roose Bolton. 

Will this improve? I hope so.  I am not looking forward to ten episodes of castrations and c-sections. Hopefully, all of the pieces put into play will make some moves next week as the great game continues. It is good to be back in Westeros, though. We’ll see next Sunday.

Episode Rating: 3 stars out of 5

Line of the week: “I never jest about cake.” Wise words indeed, Rhaenyra.

Invincible Iron Man #1: Tony Stark Must Fall Before Rising Like a Rocket in Flight

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Invincible Iron Man

Invincible Iron Man #1 is due out and set to debut this December.

Coinciding with Iron Man’s 60th anniversary, this December, a new era in the character’s history starts with a bang. Writer Gerry Duggan and artist Juan Frigeri begin a new run of a new Iron Man solo title that will see Tony Stark sink to his lowest low in order to climb back to great new heights!

Invincible Iron Man follows Christopher Cantwell’s provocative run which concludes in November’s Iron Man #750, a milestone issue that gives fans their first look at what this new chapter will bring. The continuing series begins with Tony Stark reminiscing on the hits and misses of his 60 years of history, drawing upon some classic armors, and tackling old wounds. All to surmount over a very shocking loss, care of a Marvel villain who has been causing a lot of trouble throughout the Marvel Universe.

Tony Stark as we know him, the brilliant-rich-sexy-humanitarian with an artificial heart of energy, has lost everything: his money…his celebrity…his friends. But what Stark fails to realize is that there’s still a lot left to lose, especially when an unknown villain hires a hit on him and he doesn’t have a clue who hired them!

Will this collection of murderers be the end of Iron Man? It’s looking like it, as the Golden Avenger fights to survive and learns the truth of what rock bottom really means.

“It’s my privilege to try and follow Christopher Cantwell and his collaborators’ stellar run on Iron Man heading into an anniversary year,” Duggan said in a statement with Marvel. “Juan and I are going to introduce a new menace that is gunning for Tony Stark and his greatest creation. We have an epic tale for Stark and plans for old foes, including flashbacks to some of his classic armors. How about a little Silver Centurion for his diamond anniversary? Armor up, you’re gonna need it.”

Check out the cover by Kael Ngu and stay tuned for more news about this title and the other ways Marvel Comics will be honoring Iron Man’s 60th anniversary next year.

Invincible Iron Man

INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #1
Written by GERRY DUGGAN

Art by JUAN FRIGERI

Cover by KAEL NGU

On Sale 12/7

Phase 4: The MCU Recession (Opinion) | The Workprint

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Consider, if you will, the Marvel Cinematic Universe as a living breathing economy. Sure, it makes billions of dollars every year through blockbuster movies and merchandising. But other than its financial successes, what exactly sets the MCU apart from the rest? Other franchises like Star Wars, Harry Potter, and even Fast and Furious all have interconnected, episodic lore, but none have captured hardcore or casual audiences quite like Kevin Feige‘s golden empire.
So what’s the secret?
Well, the MCU has been a careful balance of buy-in investment of attention from fans, and the studio delivering to them exactly what they wanted. It wasn’t always perfect, but by the Endgame closing bell, we all could agree that the market was alive and booming.
The question is now, where are we left after the seemingly insurmountable success of Endgame? How has the pandemic and the real-world economic fallout factored into the production of this so-called Phase 4? With an explosion of shows and movies that already surpass the runtime of Phases 1-3 combined, are we doing okay 1.5 years into this?
The answer is that no, we aren’t doing too well at all.
Again, if you would consider the MCU to be a living economy, we have quite literally experienced an “inflation” of sorts. Not to be confused with our current economic crises. What I mean is that, with the increase in output (3-4 Disney+ shows a year, 3-4 movies a year), the currency of MCU magic feels… well, diluted.
And not just on a quantitative basis, but even on the direction. Real-life companies hold investor meetings, signaling that they have a clear purpose and plan, assuring that, regardless of unpredictable bumps in the road, the end goal is clear.
That, I believe, is what made (and can still make) the MCU truly special. We‘ve always had the occasional dud. In retrospect, most MCU movies were actually just “pretty good”. But in our minds, we elevated them higher, because they shared an interconnectedness that made the entire narrative stronger, thus boosting our confidence in investing goodwill into the series.
This leads to the first of three reasons that we have entered into a Marvel Cinematic Universe Recession.

1. The interconnectedness has decreased drastically

This occurred for several reasons, the first of which was what I call the Fanbase Conundrum. Famously plaguing the Star Wars franchise nearly to death, the Fanbase Conundrum refers to a franchise becoming so successful, that it creates a growing subset of hardcore fans. These fans are incredibly passionate, breathe intense vitality into the fanbase, and likely know more trivia and lore than many of the creators/studios themselves.
The downside is that this hardcore fanbase becomes finite, and soon the studio must decide how to address the casual and newcomer audience. 30+ projects into the MCU, they can no longer expect the general audience to have watched every movie and Disney+ show beforehand. As with franchises like Star Trek, once the lore becomes too heavy, there will be a decreasing amount of fanbase willing to carry on… at least until a hard reboot… or, the option of standalone projects.
It’s these standalone projects, I believe, that are seriously alienating the hardcore fans. Consider the show Moon Knight. I think most audiences thought it was “okay.” The show set up a great premise, Oscar Isaac was incredible, and it was compelling week to week. So why has it suddenly been forgotten as an afterthought (aside from the rushed, lackluster finale)?
In my opinion, it was a lack of any connectedness to the MCU. Really, rewatch the show. There is almost nothing connecting this show to the MCU except the Marvel label on its posters. Not throwaway references, cameos, or even post-credit scenes or references in subsequent shows or movies. It exists as an island, and fans felt alienated. After years of investment into this ongoing overarching, grand story, would these standalone stories even be worth our time?
Then, take the most recent release, as of this article (July 2022), Ms. Marvel. It was a so-so show, hampered by a lack of any compelling antagonist or serious conflict, but bolstered by very charming performances by its actors and interesting cultural exploration. It was a show that was doomed to mediocrity.
BUT THEN, the finale was released. An okay-ish showdown with Damage Control (already referencing their previous appearances in Homecoming and No Way Home) was somewhat satisfying, but the show took a simple swing to the stands and included a reference to Mutants. Moreso, a reference to Mutants with the goddamn 90’s X-Men theme overlaid. A partner that with a non-awkward Carol Danvers cameo in the post-credits, and magically, the show is hailed as a resounding success.
I don’t mean that to diminish the merits of the show itself. I actually did quite like it. But the giddy MCU post-credits feeling you get when they set up something well is just so damn uniquely exciting. And none of it felt unnatural. They are hinting at the dawn of mutants, and also teasing Ms. Marvel appearing in the Marvels. Simple. Great. That’s it. That’s what we want. That’s what gets fans excited. We miss that.

2. There doesn’t appear to be any direction

Contrast the Ms. Marvel finale stingers with literally all the “teases” we got in the past year. Almost all of them were vague, directionless bait that confused audiences, both hardcore and casual.

Okay, so Sharon Carter is the Shadowbroker somehow and she’s talking to someone on the phone. Are we supposed to know who that is? What is this even set up?

Shang Chi‘s rings are calling out to… something. Okay, what? How can we be excited about this, if this could literally be referencing ANYTHING? Galactus? Vampires? A Shang Chi rogues gallery villain?

Okay, Eternals, that’s a Harry Styles and a bad CGI dwarf. We need to go do something urgently it seems, but what? Is this for Eternals 2 or something else? It seems like people are just excited to see Harry Styles the actor, or those hardcore comic fans, knowing his comic backstory, that can even react, but otherwise, most of the audience is left in confusion, not necessarily the feeling you want leaving a theater.

Dane Whitman shouldn’t grab that sword. But why? Who is that voice? Apparently it’s Blade, but let us see him! It would be like if we only heard Nick Fury’s voice at the end of Iron Man 1. There is no excitement if we don’t know what you want us to be excited about. We don’t need to investigate an obscure interview later that week to confirm we heard Blade.

Venom in No Way Home? Great! Oh wait, he‘s going straight back to the Sony universe? What was the point of that? To leave a piece of the symbiote? Or was that just for laughs? Why wasn‘t he in the actual movie? More frustration than excitement.

“Hi, Dr. Strange, I’m Charlize Theron and I’m in the MCU now, and we need to jump into a portal now because reasons.” Yay?

Oh, Zeus is still alive because deaths don’t matter in the MCU, and here is Hercules and the actor who plays him. Now you should be excited, except we just peppered you this entire year with stingers introducing dozens of potential new storylines that we may or may not get to for a very long time, of varying importance.

I think I’ve made my point. Up until Ms. Marvel’s finale, it has mostly felt like Marvel has planted the seeds of potential storylines and characters to be picked up later on. However, none of these shows or movies seem to actually be communicating with each other. In some projects, it seems like the Blip was (rightfully so) a HUGE deal for the entire universe, and in others, it is never referenced like it wouldn’t have been the most significant event in all of history.

It’s this haphazard, directionless outlook that makes the audience, especially diehard fans who follow the lore obsessively, much less invested. After all, as I’ve said, the actual appeal of this franchise is that its one big story to follow, rewarding those who can recall where we’ve been and also appreciate the significance of storylines crossing over.

3. The quality is noticeably decreased

Sure, we can blame this on the much larger output of projects. As I’ve said, the hours of runtime of Phase 4 so far is about the same runtime as all of Phase 1-3 put together. However, I don’t think the sheer amount of projects is necessarily the only factor hampering the noticeable decline in content.

 Even the most novice of audiences have noticed the sheer lack of CGI polish lately. Reportedly, the special effects artists and engineers are extremely frustrated by Marvel’s work and time demands. This, too, is likely multifactorial, as the post-pandemic workforce is bogged down by the Great Resignation, where workers of all trades have shifted to other careers, companies are bleeding profit in the economic recession and thus tampering with the pay and burden on their workers, and the costs of living are rising everywhere. Factor in too, many of these projects were put on hold during the Pandemic, and to catch up with the aforementioned profit loss, the studio is racing to release these projects as soon as possible, exhausting their special effects resources and thus producing noticeably substandard products.

Solutions?

 1. Slow. down.

I’m sure there are macroeconomic reasons for Disney/Marvel to release these projects in rapid-fire the way they are. But other than monetary profit, if they truly want to recapture the gold standard quality of the MCU studio name, they should take a step back and recalculate exactly how much time they need to put together competent movies and shows that won’t appear visibly rushed.

2. Throw us a bone. We like references.

Sure, the critics and general audiences will criticize the movie for being littered with shoehorned references to other movies. But you know what? Forget ‘em. We love it when a throwaway line references something that happened in a previous movie or show.
Think about it. How much more satisfying would it have been in Multiverse of Madness if we referenced the events of What If? Why couldn’t that evil Strange have been Strange Supreme? Or even throw in a reference to the Watcher? How did we get Loki, No Way Home, What If, and Multiverse of Madness, all dealing with very similar subject matter, and none of them had any substantial relation to each other?! That was a punch in the gut for fans who assumed that some type of connection was coming, but never did.

3. Make some purposeful post-credit scenes. We love that stuff.

I’m sure the directors roll their eyes at this. This has been an issue since Phase 2. Some movies simply don’t have compelling post-credit scenes. Some are played for jokes. But honestly, even the ones played for jokes piss us off when they aren’t consequential.
 
There is something uniquely cool about finishing a Marvel movie, and waiting for the post-credits to potentially set up an upcoming movie. Its the gambler’s effect. When it happens, and its good, audiences are overjoyed. When its lame, it brings the feeling of the recently watched movie/show down with it.
Suck it up, directors. We know its gimmicky, but giving us that dessert just makes the entire meal that much more positively memorable.
End to my ramble
 
All in all, I do believe we are well-into my suggested “MCU Recession.” The sheer amount of projects have inflated and devalued the “specialness” of the MCU, coupled with decreasing quality due to multifactorial real-world workforce issues. I believe truly the only way to “fix” this recession and bounce back moving forward is to emphasize interconnectedness between the projects, and assuring the audience that there truly is a clear path ahead for this story.
In Feige we trust. Still.

She-Hulk Episode 1: A Normal Amount of Rage Review

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Screenshot of Tatiana Maslaney in a snazzy suit while playing lawyer Jennifer Walters in She-Hulk

She-Hulk Starts With a Bang, With Plenty of Laughs, Fisticuffs, and Green Stuff

Let me start this review of the premiere episode of She-Hulk: Attorney at Law with a confession. I’m not the biggest fan of the She-Hulk comics, though I have read several, especially in recent years. I am, however, a huge fan of Tatiana Maslany. I thought her portrayal of several different characters in Orphan Black was downright incredible, and she’s the reason I wanted to review She-Hulk. And though the first episode, called A Normal Amount of Rage, is a bit of a short burn, it’s packed with tons of great Maslany moments and the standard Marvel humor.

It all starts with Jennifer Walters getting ready for her next big case, and dealing with sexist bullshit from a colleague. One fun quirk in this episode of She-Hulk, and one I suspect will be recurring, is whenever Jen breaks the fourth wall to talk to the audience. At first, I thought they were going with a similar mechanic like from What We Do In The Shadows, with a camera team capturing her exploits. But given that we never see a crew, and how she travels so far afield, I think it’s just Marvel being Marvel. And I’m perfectly fine with that. Maslany has a pretty great sense of humor herself, and it lends a lot to this character.

Also, because it’s Marvel, that also means She-Hulk deals with hero stuff, much as Jennifer tries to avoid it. So we get a great flashback to how she became a superhero, and it’s a pretty random situation. Her and cousin Bruce Banner (yes, that Bruce) are on a road trip when they get unexpectedly stopped by a Sakaaran cruiser in the middle of the road. It’s unclear what the alien species wanted with the Hulk, but the result is they crash their vehicle, and in getting free from the wreckage, Jen cuts her arm. Then when she does the right thing and rescues her cousin Bruce (he had a prototype device keeping him human), some of his blood leaks into her open wound, and has the expected result.

Jen wakes up after Hulking out, and gets some very considerate help from what looks like a bachelorette party at a sports bar. Unfortunately, then she gets catcalled and harassed in her makeshift outfit, which leads to her Hulking out again and terrifying and probably beating up a group of idiots before waking up in Mexico.

Bruce looks on at Jessica, who is in an isolated compartment with a helmet being studied.
(L-R): Mark Ruffalo as Smart Hulk / Bruce Banner and Tatiana Maslany as Jennifer “Jen” Walters/She-Hulk in Marvel Studios’ SHE-HULK: ATTORNEY AT LAW, exclusively on Disney+. Photo courtesy of Marvel Studios. ©Marvel Studios 2022. All Rights Reserved.

Why Mexico, you ask? Well, a few years back Tony Stark and Bruce Banner worked together there to help Bruce get control of his powers. I love how eager Ruffalo is to play a mentor to his cousin, though he does come across as occasionally condescending and, forgive the term, Hulksplaining things to his female cousin. Much to his surprise, not only is her blood able to help him heal himself from the car crash, but it’s also just as adept at safely dealing with Gamma radiation as his.

Also new is that Jen is, put simply, much better equipped to be a successful Hulk than Bruce ever was. The reason? She’s a woman, and has learned to control her emotions to a startling degree because of how much anger and fear our society foists upon women with sexist bullshit. As such, not only does she quickly learn how to shift effortlessly back and forth between human and superhuman forms, but she also doesn’t have a second, mindless self that takes the wheel. She’s always Jen, just sometimes she’s bigger and tougher than others.

The Banners, Bruce and Jessica, their own hands clapped together as they look at each other.

There’s a big superhero fight scene that occurs when Jen tries to leave before Bruce thinks she’s ready and it ends with his cabana by the beach getting damaged. So Jen helps him fix it up, and because of the Hulk’s capacity to process alcohol, they also do some very heavy drinking, letting loose explosive belches that scare the wildlife. The short version is that Jen thinks she’s ready to live her life again and sets out to do just that. This, is of course, when a random superpowered baddie played by the talented Jameela Jamil smashes her way into the courtroom, forcing Jen to Hulk out and deal with her.

Overall, I thought this was a great start to She-Hulk, and I’m excited to cover it. Though much like how there’s now two Hulks in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, there are also gonna be two people at The Workprint covering She-Hulk. I’ll be here next week, then Victor Catano will take over for a few episodes, and then I’ll be back to cover the last few episodes. So thanks for joining us, and be sure to tune back next Thursday!

Jen Walters in a pink top now fully she-hulk
Tatiana Maslany as Jennifer “Jen” Walters/She-Hulk in Marvel Studios’ She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, exclusively on Disney+. Photo courtesy of Marvel Studios. © 2022 MARVEL.

Cult of the Lamb Review: Both a Crisp Dungeon Crawler and Immersive Colony Builder

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The Lamb, The Old One, and Cultists from Cult of the Lamb

Raising a cult of lowly followers is easy. It’s getting those highly devoted wealthy, science-denying celebrity acolytes that’s a challenge. In Cult of The Lamb, players progress through a deep crusade into the dungeons of treasonous ex-bishops, overcoming even death, as you slash and dash through the opposition.

The game is a roguelike dungeon crawler and colony builder about an enthralled lamb who is saved from a ritual sacrifice by an Eldritch god and is tasked with defeating that god’s traitorous ex-bishops. To do so, the lamb must build a cult in its name and either nurture or abuse it to gain unworldly powers.

Developed by Massive Monster and published by Devolver Digital, Cult of The Lamb was released on August 11 on Xbox One / X|S, Playstation 4 / 5, Nintendo Switch, and PC – Steam / GOG. It also features Twitch integration (only PC at this time) in which your viewers can participate in your game by customizing a colonist’s appearance to their liking, as well as providing other staple features such as Help or Hinder and contributing channel points for in-game rewards for the player.

Fishin’ in this game is kinda great

The Lamb fishing in Cult of the Lamb

Now, outside of the dungeon and the colony, there are activities that the player can participate in, such as dice gambling and fishing. The gambling game offers some decent strategy, but ultimately still relies on the roll of the dice, and is a fun way to occasionally eke some more coin. On the other hand, fishing offers a fun way to earn a ton of cash and provide much-needed food for your cultists.

The fishing minigame itself greatly resembles that of Stardew Valley in that you must match a floating bobber to the fish’s vertical movement to reel the fish in. But rather than facing off against the lava eels of the SDV universe, the difficulty level is only around anchovies. The minigame isn’t a testament to personal fishing achievement, but rather a refreshing side activity that is an important source of high-quality food.

It’s easy to bag every catch, and most people may never see a single fish get away. The difficulty in fishing then becomes not catching the fish, but rather, avoiding catching the fish you don’t want as it quickly becomes a waste of valuable time. Time is the most essential resource in the game. One that could be spent pampering your cultists, developing your base, or delving into the depths of the dungeons.

Two games in one – take it or leave it

The Lamb, both in Combat and Farming

For the heathens that don’t enjoy fishing as much as I do, Cult of the Lamb features two other immersive facets of gameplay. First is the procedurally generated dungeon crawler where you go on crusades and purge heretics. Second is the colony builder where you indoctrinate and raise cultists that empower your otherworldly abilities with their faith. These two sides of Cult of the Lamb are deeply entwined as progression on one side leads to progression on the other.

The dungeon crawling is straightforward. Get a weapon and an ability, explore the dungeon, and kill bosses. Along the way, you’ll be given the opportunity to also gather resources, buy or save followers to indoctrinate and encounter other sorts of bizarre events that slowly disseminate the lore of the world. As you defeat bosses and make progress, more of the outer world opens up to you, and rare resources are used to push the development of your burgeoning cult.

The Lamb at Forneus' shop in Cult of the Lamb

The colony building is a bit of a chaotic mess in all the best ways. After you recruit followers, collect resources from the dungeon, and return to your homestead, you grow your colony in size and technological prowess, starting from little more than a disorganized and desperate backwater denomination that poops in the corner, and eventually developing into a bonafide self-sufficient cult that poops in luxurious outhouses.

Your cultists’ faith and devotion will empower all sorts of technological advancements, as well as improve your personal ability in the dungeon. They’ll also go around doing jobs in the homestead, though they can be directed to do something specific.

Colony management in Cult of the Lamb

The cult also features some roleplay potential, as there are a number of interactions that you can have with your cultists, including marriage (which leads to smooching), imprisonment, and feeding them poop.

A fully developed cult will have all sorts of buildings like farms, lumberyards, the Temple, and all manner of holy buildings – production buildings, housing, and more. Eventually, your cult leader’s duties in between dungeon runs will just consist of going around collecting the fruits of everyone’s labor, performing a daily sermon and the occasional ritual, and improving everyone’s loyalty through individual interaction.

Getting to that point not only requires several successful plunges into the dungeons but also considerable amounts of hands-on labor and leadership. I personally spent considerably way more time developing my colony than dungeon crawling (though I did get soft-locked out of the dungeon for a week due to a buggy quest, and spent that entire week farming and meditating), but I suspect that it’s possible to neglect some aspects of your colony and heavily subsidize resource costs with material gathered from the dungeon.

In the end, the cult offers not only love but also power, and it’s up to the player how they gather and use it.

Crisp but concise combat system

The Lamb versus Kallamar in Cult of the Lamb

Cult of the Lamb feels great in your hands. Nice smooth movement, an invincible dodge roll, responsive attacks that reliably follow patterns, and clear and beautiful animations – it just feels crisp. On top of it all, the weapons and curses are diverse and fun, the combat flows naturally, and the SFX for every action and response is succinct and rewarding.

There’s also a high skill ceiling with dodge cancels, which is always a fun mechanic to abuse. The dash itself is also pretty good, featuring good distance, low cooldown, decent i-frames, and you can change direction mid-dash, which is a very fun and clutch mechanic.

On the other side, the enemies are designed with care and effort, featuring a wide variety of behavior and patterns, subtly telegraphing their attacks but giving no quarter en masse. There aren’t many over-the-top attacks or other kinds of visual clutter, so there’s very good combat legibility, even for bosses. And unless you have a game-breaking build, which only a few rare tarot cards can potentially provide, boss fights on the highest difficulties demand extremely clean execution. In the end, it’s fast-paced, fair, and fun. And you do want to be fast, because you have to get home to pamper and feed your cultists, after all.

Assortment of weapons and curses from Cult of the Lamb

In order to purge heretics and topple bishops, our lamb is equipped with a weapon and a curse, which is a unique magical ability that relies on a mana-like resource called Fervor. There are also tarot cards, which give unique buffs or perks to the player for that run, like a chance to gain overheal on kill, increasing damage at night, or even fully replenishing your Fervor every new room.

Each weapon type has its own unique playstyle, and despite each weapons’ individual quirks, I found them all extremely satisfying to use, especially when RNG provided good complementary tarot cards. Though in the end, I’d have to say my favorite is the hammer, since it has a great chance to stun enemies on top of dealing massive damage that often one-shots, and I appreciated that it was so slow that it had its own crosshair. I do think the dagger is underpowered compared to the other weapons, especially with dodge cancelling, but it can still dish out some serious damage in the hands of a good masher.

Curses include all manner of offensive abilities, such as throwing fireballs, chucking toxic sludge that leaves a residual AoE, or summoning tentacles to assault your foes. Most curses can be aimed with a combat time-slowdown, and some include a charge-up mechanic that can increase their power. Fireballs even have a critical zone in the charge-up that can turn it explosive. And yes, there is a curse that provides some timed invincibility and projectile reflection, and it’s as overpowered as similar abilities in other roguelikes – Divine Dash, anyone?

Fully featured colony builder provides meta progress

The Lamb and his Cult in Cult of the Lamb

Cult of the Lamb goes further than other roguelikes when designing a world outside the dungeon. Most other games provide some simple staging area that you have limited influence over, mainly just a place where you go when you die and talk to some NPCs to improve your meta-progression. Cult of the Lamb tasks you with designing your own staging area, along with making all the decisions and performing all the labor necessary to get it running. Every single building constructed is placed by your will and built by your own hands, or by your followers.

One interesting thing to note is that the building system is on a diagonal grid system, as opposed to a square grid employed in many other top-down simulation games. It’s a more welcoming shape in contrast to the harsh brutalist square-shaped rooms of the dungeon, and so rather than designing on a piece of graph paper and plotting for raw efficiency, you’re drawing on something like an argyle canvas and shaping art.

For all intents and purposes, the colony-building minigame is essentially a fully featured game in itself. There is an expansive tech tree, resource management, and colonist management. The game has a day/night cycle that never stops, even in the dungeon. There’s an overworld with various locations that can be visited to extract resources or shop for various blueprints or goods. Speaking of blueprints, there are dozens of them for various decorations that can be placed around your homestead, including the 10 or so that are themed for each bishop’s demesne – all of which serve to brighten up and beautify your cozy little home. Your followers have needs that need to be met, and most of them can’t be automated until your colony reaches a certain level of technological progress.

The Lamb and his Cult in Cult of the Lamb

It’s advanced cat-sitting. You farm crops and gather meat in the dungeon, cook food via the minigame, feed your cultists, scoop their poop, and spend time petting them and talking to them in baby voices. They even make the same noises eating as my cats do – seriously, once you hear it, you’ll know. But as you spend time with them, they gain loyalty and level up. If they annoy you, you feed ’em poop.

Not only does having a large number of cultists help improve your self-sufficiency, but a certain number of followers are also required to unlock the high level dungeons, serving as a means of gating progression, as you’ll not only have to find and convert the followers, but also be able to sustain them as well.

As far as improving your chances in the dungeon, other than collecting tarot cards from regular play, meta progression comes in the form of unlocking additional weapons/curses and increasing their base level, therefore their damage. The prayers of your cultists at your sermons are used as the resource to fuel these crown upgrades, and higher level cultists give more XP in this regard. Therefore it’s definitely worth investing the time into your cultists if you are having difficulty clearing the dungeons, as you can become stronger by strengthening your cult.

Amazing sound engineering provides meaningful audio feedback

I’m simply blown away by how good the audio is in Cult of the Lamb. As mentioned above, the audio cues used in the combat are definitely noteworthy. Each swing of an axe is accompanied by the hefty bass of a ton of mass cleaving through the air or flesh. Critical hits give a special unmistakable ting. A perfect cast of a fireball curse comes with an extra poignant roar of fire as the explosions batter flesh and stone alike.

But these glorious sound cues are not restricted to the dungeon alone, and can be discovered all around your cult homestead. The delicate rustle of berry plants as you forage, each resounding thud of the hammer as you construct, and the clangs of each loot chest. Or even the cascading torrent of divine inspiration as it leaves your idols and enters your XP bar.

The drips and drops of fishing, as the seagulls caw and the waves softly break on the shores nearby. Even the satisfying splat as you collect pesky spiders at night to bolster your meager rations. All of it is meticulously engineered to keep you coming back for more – and I am only happy to oblige.

Even on top of all this superb SFX, Cult of the Lamb features some remarkable OST as well, by @RiverBoyBeats. The dungeon music is dark, creepy and atmospheric, but the music on the homestead is cheerful, optimistic, and catchy. And the temple music in particular really drives home the cultish aspect, evoking feelings of power and omnipotence as your followers dance and sway to your words. Each bishop has their own memorable fight theme as a part of their design as well.

Cult of the Lamb features partial voice acting in which each character just kinds of blurts out some incomprehensible noise in addition to their text dialogue. It just sounds like they had a lot of fun recording these non-lines, and it’s certainly fun listening to them bubbling away as you spam-A-ignore all their text dialogue.

Extremely thoughtful design, but has the occasional technical hiccup

The Lamb cooking a meal of poop

Most aspects of Cult of the Lamb were clearly designed with the player experience in mind. There are all sorts of small details that were painstakingly implemented to provide a streamlined and frustration-free experience. For example, combat ends immediately after the final enemy dies, and there is no risk of taking damage after a room or boss is cleared.

Menu prompts often feature minimal animations and crisp interaction in order to minimize time spent out of the game. Even the cooking is super streamlined: boom bam recipes, 1 2 3 cooking minigames, and we’re done. There are all sorts of tiny details and tricks that I won’t spoil since the joy is in the discovery, but it’s clear that a lot of love and effort went into the game’s polish.

Unfortunately, not all aspects of Cult of the Lamb are perfect, as there are occasionally things that make you stop and scratch your head. For a colony builder, the cultist management, in particular, could be improved drastically, as there is no colonist manager widget or any comprehensive list with all their details like personality traits, which can only be found by talking to each cultist individually.

The personality traits themselves are also a bit milquetoast and have minor impact on your management. Additionally, it’s completely atrocious that there isn’t full keybind mapping. Cult of the Lamb instead offers three controller mapping settings, and while I’ll concede that Layout C is extremely good with attack on RT and dodge on LB, these presets won’t necessarily win everyone over. And one small point that players have noted is that there is no auto-saving during a dungeon run, which has recently become a staple feature in other roguelike games – forcing you to finish a run to completion or abandon it entirely.

And while Cult of the Lamb overall runs very smoothly and without issue, I still came across a few notable bugs in my playthrough. None of them were necessarily game breaking, but players may still find some of the bugs particularly frustrating. One was as mentioned above where I was soft-locked out of the dungeon as a result of a buggy quest, in which a follower demanded I hold a ritual right after I held one, and it was on cooldown for a week. It does appear that many of these sorts of issues are already on the developers’ radar, and they have been fairly active so far in releasing small fixes that have resolved the more notorious issues.

Cult of the Lamb: Crisp and enjoyable dungeon crawler combined with fully fleshed colony builder, built with love but stymied by minor tech issues

The fun in the cult comes not only from the combat but also from watching your cult grow from a single temple to a bustling colony – Cult of the Lamb is guaranteed to provide hours of satisfying gameplay, with promise of bug fixes on the horizon.

Score: 9/10

 

On Composer Joe Hisaishi and What It Was Like Bringing the Music of Studio Ghibli to Life

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view from the stage of a sold out radio city music hall audience

 

Symphonic concerts don’t usually sell out world-famous theaters, packed wall-to-wall with screaming fans, but on Saturday, August 13, that’s just what happened at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. Nearly 6,000 audience members cheered raucously as Joe Hisaishi, the composer who wrote the soundtracks for Hayao Miyazaki Studio Ghibli films, including Howl’s Moving CastleSpirited Away, Princess Mononoke, and My Neighbor Totoro, stepped onto the conductor’s podium. A greeting that would make any rock star envious.

Radio City Music Hall marquee that that reads Joe Hisaishi Symphonic Concert Tonight Sold Out

For various reasons, I missed the Miyazaki train growing up and had never seen any of the films, but knew of them by reputation. So when the choir I sing with, MasterVoices, was hired to provide the chorus for the concert, I was very excited (also, I just love cinematic music in general and am currently working my way through Miyazaki’s portfolio on HBOMax). Originally scheduled for late January, the concert series, which features music from 10 Miyazaki films, was postponed to August due to omicron. The new dates were imperiled as Hisaishi, 71, caught covid just before he was supposed to conduct the series in London earlier this month.

studio ghibli logo featuring the character Totoro, a fictional creature with a round belly, whiskers, and pointy ears.

The music came together in three whirlwind rehearsals conducted by Hisaishi, with MasterVoices, the American Symphony Orchestra, the Brooklyn Youth Chorus, soprano Amanda Achen, and singer Mai Fujisawa (Hisaishi’s daughter). The crowd enthusiastically cheered when he told them this after her first solo.

I didn’t know what to expect from a musician of his stature, but I was surprised by his combination of efficiency and humor. One of the first things he said to the ensemble, jokingly, was that he knew we were all used to performing symphonies, and that this was only movie music, and so he hoped we wouldn’t find it too easy.

The orchestra in a rehearsal hall

Hisaishi’s music is deceptive in its simplicity, much like the films themselves. The melody might be easy to execute, but the expressiveness required to bring it to life, evoking the characters, settings, and emotions of these beloved animated movies, was a different story.

Often the maestro asked us to try sections again not because we’d flubbed any notes, but because we weren’t giving enough to the spirit of his compositions. He was also very precise about the sound he wanted, at one point asking a percussionist to try out about half a dozen types of mallets to get the exact drum sound he envisioned.

Traditional Japanese drums

Very little of the concert music came directly from the film soundtracks. Hisaishi re-arranged his scores to be more suitable for a live concert experience. Having recently watched several of the films, I noticed that the music is a lot more understated in the movies, bucking the Hollywood tradition of using sobbing strings or heroic horns to tell the audience exactly what to feel (indeed, it’s said that some movies over-rely on their composers to add emotion to scenes that really don’t carry much).

I can see why, in bringing his music to a concert venue, Hisaishi would bulk up the orchestra parts, add a choir, and stretch out his movements to let the music luxuriate in the melodies. For instance, the “Nausicaa Requiem” from Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind is expanded from maybe 10 seconds of instrumental music in the film to a full choral movement (set to the Latin Dies Irae text that many classical Requiem composers, including Mozart, used). And “Carrying You,” the theme song of Laputa: Castle in the Sky is transformed from a piece for a pop-style solo singer to a sweeping piece for children’s and adult chorus that would feel at home in an opera.

Joe Hisaishi, a 71 year old Japanese man, directing a rehearsal

During the concert, clips from the Studio Ghibli films played on enormous screens beside and to the sides of the stage. They were chosen more for their evocativeness than because they precisely matched the music. For instance, the segment for Kiki’s Delivery Service, begins in silence, with a clip of Kiki looking bored. Hisaishi cued the downbeat once the clip transitioned to one showing Kiki’s seaside town, which was then followed by out-of-order scenes of her flying on her broomstick, talking to her black cat, etc.

view from the stage of a sold out radio city music hall audience

The posters advertised over 150 musicians performing. By my estimation, that’s an under count. MasterVoices provided 80 singers, there were at least 20 children in the youth choir, and the orchestra likely had 50 string players alone. In addition to conducting, Hisaishi also performed some of the piano pieces himself, including the theme song from Spirited Away, which was sung by his daughter.

Joe Hisaishi, a 71 year old Japanese man, plays piano on stage

The concert was a long one, beginning at 8:00pm and ending around 10:20pm, but the audience never lost their enthusiasm. Each time a piece concluded, they would clap and cheer as enthusiastically as they did for Hisaishi’s entrance.

In true rock star fashion, Hisaishi took his bows, left the stage, came back, bowed again, left again, returned again, etc. And then proceeded to perform and conduct two encores (which we had, naturally, planned for and rehearsed). Despite being the reason all those fans came, he never let them forget all the not-famous performers who brought his music to life. With hand gestures (including pantomiming playing flutes and drums), he asked each section (choir, children’s choir, percussionists, wind players, etc) to stand one at a time so the audience could acknowledge them.

Image of the poster for the concert that reads Joe Hisaishi: Music from the Studio Ghibli Films of Hayao Miyazaki

I think my favorite moment was during the theme song for Ponyo, which earlier that day Hisaishi had asked us to have more fun with. Ponyo, for those who are unfamiliar, is a charming little movie about a five-year-old boy who befriends a little goldfish, geared toward toddlers and kindergarteners. And so its theme song was cutesy and childlike – in other words, not something to be sung with the serious demeanor of a concert choir.

I don’t know if he was reacting to us or trying to direct us, but during that piece, Hisaishi started smiling and bouncing and mouthing along to the words (“Ponyo! Ponyo! Ponyo! Fishy in the sea! / Tiny little fishy, who could you really be?”). I hope the stage’s camera was able to project that to the audience, because it was truly a joy to see a composer having that much fun with his music.

Black screen with pink letters that say Joe Hisaishi Symphonic Concert: Music from the Studio Ghibli Films of Hayao Miyazaki

Was our performance perfect? Of course not. I won’t tell you about the part where the altos missed an entrance, or the orchestra fell out of sync with the each other, and more. But that didn’t matter. No one came to see how technically precise a bunch of classical musicians could be. They came to experience the soundtracks of their favorite films brought to life by the man who created them, and by the sound of it, they left happy.

Resident Alien Season 2 Episode 10 Review: The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood

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asta hugs harry
RESIDENT ALIEN -- “The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood” Episode 210 -- Pictured: (l-r) Sara Tomko as Asta Twelvetrees, Alan Tudyk as Harry Vanderspeigle -- (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

There’s Ghosts in Them Mines in the Latest Episode of Resident Alien

Are we sure that Alan Tudyk isn’t actually an alien pretending to be a human pretending to be an alien? Because after watching his amazing alien warbling in the last couple of episodes of Resident Alien, I have my doubts.

All jokes aside, The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood was a fantastic episode of the latter half of season 2. I enjoyed last week’s episode as well, but this one was much more jam-packed with laughs, which is a big reason I keep watching the show. The mixture of humor, heart, and insanity come together for a heady alchemical brew.

It all starts in Patience 81 years go. Little Bobby and his sister are out hunting rabbits for dinner, when he misses his shot and chases the rabbit into a mine. Yes, that mine, the one so many miners died in later, as told by D’Arcy back in season 1. Unfortunately for young Bobby, he never makes it out of the mine alive. But in a weird way, his story continues on.

Asta is much happier without the guilt eating her alive, but the cost is too high. Harry erased everything that happened that night, thinking he was helping her. That includes baby Goliath escaping, her shooting and killing a man and reconnecting with her daughter Jay. Harry loves seeing Asta happy, and is even shocked to realize she has teeth after she greets him with a wide smile. He tries to keep the happy train running with cobbled-together news about how his race isn’t trying to destroy humanity anymore, though he conveniently leaves the other alien race out of the conversation.

Yup, it’s all coming up roses for Harry. His falsified autopsy to the mayor, Patience PD and Torres goes well, despite the mayor still fighting reality. Then something unexpected happens. A milk farmer wanders into Harry’s office, talking about a chupacabra biting him and milking his cows. Which can only mean one thing – baby Goliath is on the hunt! Harry nearly catches him, but the untimely intervention of the farmer scares him away (and sends a milk crazed Harry running as well). Much to his chagrin, baby Goliath wanders into the same mine Bobby Smallwood disappeared all those years ago. Harry finds himself overwhelmed by his newfound fear of death, and he flees without finding the little alien.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood” Episode 210 — Pictured: Nicola Correia-Damude as Detective Lena Torres — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

Mike and Liv are following their murder investigation, and discover the boat used by two men that Goliath subsequently killed. At first Mike and Liv are having a lot of fun making fun of the Jessup cop, but then Mike and Torres bond over being big city cops in the past. Him in D.C. and her in NYC. And as expected, this quickly leads to poor Liv getting left out and ignored.

As for D’Arcy, she alternates between being a fierce protector of Asta to a lover of her new beau, Elliot. There’s a really touching moment where they’re both at a dig site for Native American artifacts, and both of them help each other realize they’re capable of more. Later on, when D’Arcy starts leaving his bedroom doing the walk of shame, she realizes she should stay, putting her insecurities aside. They’re a cute couple, and despite how tumultuous the show can be, I hope they make it work.

Though it’s easy to make fun of Mayor Ben for being a week-kneed, spineless coward most of the time, he earned some points in this episode. Admittedly, he starts by trying to convince Sheriff Mike to leave the investigation to Jessup, and getting horrible therapy advice in return. But later he confides fully in his wife, and though that temporarily makes everything worse, he manages to repair some of the damage by reminding her of why they love each other.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood” Episode 210 — Pictured: (l-r) Kaylayla Raine as Jay, Sara Tomko as Asta Twelvetrees — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

Everything is calm until Asta visits D’Arcy and hears Judy and her new girlfriend Brenda playing pool. The smack of the cue triggers a memory. Then Asta meets Jay, and is angrily blamed for missing her birthday meetup. She quickly figures out Harry erased her memories, and confronts him about the need for feelings to be felt, not repressed. Harry has a hard time with that, and manages to eat his feelings like any good human. But eventually she gets through to him, and by the end of the episode, Harry realizes how to face his fear and get past it.

The big twist in The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood is when suddenly young Sahar sees Bobby Smallwood walking around. Stranger yet, his now old woman of a sister recognizes him, and when she tries to embrace him, he hisses and runs away. Being the brilliant young woman she is, Sahar instantly realizes this Bobby is actually Goliath in a skin suit, and she chases him down and somehow captures him. And in one of the funniest parts of the episode, she commits to training him to be a good alien, mostly by spraying him when he misbehaves.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “The Ghost of Bobby Smallwood” Episode 210 — Pictured: Alan Tudyk as Harry Vanderspeigle — (Photo by: Eike Shroter/SYFY)

Another fantastic and hilarious episode of Resident Alien. I appreciated how they didn’t waste a ton of time with Asta not remembering everything, and especially appreciated Max and Sahar getting more screen time this week. Here’s hoping we don’t have to wait too long to get real answers about the new alien race that’s threatening the folks of Patience, and perhaps the entire human race.

What We Do In The Shadows Recap: Pine Barrens

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“.. and the truth will set you free.”

– John 8:32

“It’s better out than in.”

– My mother explaining flatulence

Welcome to the seventh episode of What We Do In The Shadows (FX) titled “Pine Barrens”.

Rolling southbound on the West Shore Expressway, Nandor (Kayvan Novak), Laszlo (Matt Berry), and Baby Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) are headed towards the famed Pine Barrens.

Sean (Anthony Atamanuik) is taking them out for a weekend in the woodlands to hunt.

Vampires don’t hunt (save for humans), so, at the very least, it’ll give both Nandor and Laszlo a chance to spend some quality time with each other. Oh, that’s right- Lazzie’s got his sights set on Seanie, leaving Nandor standing there with his proverbial dick in his hand.

Forget about Baby Colin Robinson paying much attention to the soon-to-be overlooked conqueror, as the only thing he’s paying he’s doing is that of Robux to a newly released Roblox campaign.

Meanwhile, at the Vampire Residence, Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) and the Doll containing the spirit of her deceased human side enjoy a relaxing soak Elizabeth Bathory would simply salivate at. That’s right, it’s a girls’ weekend at home… just the two of them…

…Or so they’re led to believe. As it turns out, Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) is having like-minded thoughts, taking the opportunity to spruce up the ‘vacant’ domicile to host dinner for his family in a night’s time. This includes a few ramshackle tweaks, such as plastering a My So-Called Life poster over the house portrait… unbeknownst to Nadja floating about, thanking her lucky stars the atmosphere of swingin’ dick energy has been temporarily relocated to the stomping grounds of New Jersey’s Ol’ Scratch.

This is immediately exemplified even before the brews are cracked, with Laszlo brazenly refusing to help Nandor with unloading the car, much less opening the door.

Once all are settled in, Laszlo has taken a keen interest in Sean’s gun collection at attention on the wall. After arguing about how Sean’s grandfather acquired the mini-armory, both Laszlo and Nandor learn that acquiesence to defeat was never a viable way to kick off the weekend, even after a swift search from Siri arbitrates only half of Laszlo’s misconstruing.

If Nadja thinks their eight-decades-long bickering may finally be quashed, she may want to remember that “boys will be boys.”

The flames of a fruitless 48 are further stoked when Baby Colin, out in the crisp midnight air as Laszlo and Nandor attempt to ‘hunt’ humans requests to be taken back to the cabin to charge his iPad. Overall, a wasted night.

The next day, searching for possible vantage points, Baby Colin confides in Sean he fears Laz doesn’t exactly have as big a soft spot for him as he lets on, exemplified by how concerted an effort he is making on Baby Colin NOT becoming like the bore that bore him. Sean seems to take a mild interest in the boy, imploring him to share more of his likes. However, after confessing to an affinity for smashing holes in walls, maybe taking an apprehensive worry is smarter.

At the homestead, as Ladies’ Night takes flight with The Guide (Kristen Schaal) and Marwa (Parisa Fakhri) with drunken shenanigans, Guillermo’s moment of truth arrives.

As his family floods into the house, he explains to his Aunt Valeria (Socorro Santiago) and Cousin Miguel (Frankie Quinones) the presence of cameras, dressing the occasion up as a filmed video montage in occasion for his Abuelita Maite’s (Emma McCoslin) birthday.

His kinfolk marveling at the impressive dining accommodations only saves Guillermo’s hide but so much as Miguel’s latent confusion about his cousin’s means of work throws a wrench in the ruse. This has Guillermo compounding lies, nearly having his cover blown.

To be fair, the journey from Point A (Panera employee) to Z (Staten Island lineman) can take only so many stops.

With Guillermo growing a little hot under the collar, the heat’s only turning up for the girls with Nadja suggesting they make it a Blockbuster Night with Momma Mia! Who could blame her? It reminds her of the fond memories she left behind in Antipaxos and it’s just flat out a choice fucking flick!

Back at the cabin, as Sean regales the guys with a Jersey Devil tale, Baby Colin calls bullshit. Elegantly mapping out the details of the cryptozoological terror (right down to the “button cock” atop two low-hanging balls), Sean believes he’s got Baby Colin by the tail.

Both Laszlo and Nandor write the whole ordeal off, insisting the Jersey Devil was a myth perpetuated by vampires to throw people off the scent of their nightly feedings in the woods.

Who’s also thrown off is poor Nandor, as Laszlo names Sean as his best friend straight to the lens. Dejected, Nandor doesn’t speak up. Nandor before cited silence as a hunter’s best weapon, but what happens when said weapon backfires?

After carrying a drunk Sean off to bed, Nandor chides Laszlo for toying with one a pistol, as a child is present but is immediately handed his walking papers. Lazzo lays in the burn deriding him as less than an authority on weapons, not having seen warfare in centuries. Instead of proving his honorific, Nandor still chooses to remain mum.

As a very happy Nadja decamps to get more boozy blood, she happens in on Guillermo’s dinner party and there’s no CTRL-Z’ing the moment.

Summarily introducing her as the maid, her being his significant other is an old lie that invariably had to be assimilated into the mix. Trying to compare their living situation to that of Daphne and Niles from Frasier wasn’t a citation that sought to wipe any doubt either.

Nadja’s invited to join the family with Silvia (Myrna Cabello) chastising his brutish exclusion of her.

They say that with age comes wisdom and Grandma Waite ain’t no slouch, pulling Guillermo aside to inform him of Nadja’s true nature: a vampire. I mean, it’s right there in black and white. With the Van Helsing DNA coursing through his veins, ‘twould be foolhardy to ignore the lineage itself, sitting right in the next room, with a fire building in their hearts and goosebumps forming on their arms.

With the night still, Nandor finally opens up, querying Laszlo about the comment made before about not seeing him as authoritative. Laszlo calmly doubles down, calling the Relentless a “former” soldier rather than a “real” one.

Nandor’s come loaded for bear though, citing Laszlo being kicked out of the Eton College Rifle Corps, which he already sees as hardly anything militant. This tidbit, spoken in confidence, only electrifies the air. Voices are raised and 80 years of grievances are categorically aired before Laszlo points and cocks the pistol in Nandor’s direction.

His only weapon to counter is a paper decreeing that he was to have the first pick of the quarters when they moved into the house, proving to Laszlo that he’s a habitual line-stepper.

Laszlo extracting an amendment to that rule calling for a quorum of merely 2/3rd’s present to supersede the rule seems to be the last straw… or maybe that was the accidental going off of the pointed six-shooter at Nandor.

With lightning reflexes, catching a bullet probably wasn’t on Nandor’s checklist for the weekend, but neither was catching a few more where that come from before actually catching one through the hand.

Neither was a search party for Baby Colin, so the night’s already off to a chill start! Way to go, fellas!

Oppositely, Nadja’s having a ball with Guillermo’s family, much to her surprise. The thing about dreams though is you inevitably have to wake up. This sobering reality becomes apparent as everybody around the table is growing spicy as Nadja attempts to keep her cool.

Grandma Waite finally decides playtime is over, tearing off a chair leg and making her true nature known to the rest as Nadja escapes posthaste. This may be the first time I’ve ever seen people leave the table for their supper.

With hearts aflame, the de la Cruz crew is on the hunt, having Nadja climbing and scurrying for safety as wood is hurled at her.

The Guide, the Doll, and Marwa continue enjoying the musical, unaware an actual action piece is being filmed elsewhere.

Guillermo luckily puts the skids on what would’ve been Nadja’s final act with a shocking confession: he’s fully aware of what she is and even lives with more of her kind, wanting to eventually be one of the Clan. Oh, and he’s gay.

The admission is one of tenderness and bravery. His family’s nonchalant approbation makes the moment all the more impactful and sweet. They’re more concerned with his life choices outside of the lad’s nature. Both are indisputable facts and it is who he is, stem to stern.

Breakthroughs can happen anywhere.

As Nandor and Laszlo search for Baby Colin Robinson, in a rarified moment between the obdurate two, an understanding is met. They’ve been remiss with their hang sessions and miss them. Hey, tomorrow’s a new night.

Before things get too gushy, Baby Colin is found. The boy simply was investigating a sound he heard outside of the cabin… and now, a new sound can be heard in the distance in the form of Sean screaming out for help.

It turns out that the Jersey Devil (Vaios Skretas / Jean-Michael Richaud) is not fiction and in fact, has a very real Mr. Rinaldi in its grasp and not even Laszlo’s mellifluous flute playing could have the devil in a spell and no amount of kicking him in the dick and wrestling him will keep that bifurcated tail down.

Coming in the clutch, Baby Colin knows there’s only one thing that can soothe this savage beast of the East: Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer.”

As the Jersey Devil is rockin’ out to Sayreville’s own, both Laszlo and Nandor double team the cloven-hooved, draining him in unison as he dances. Sean, coming out with the shottie only enjoys the misplaced recoil, putting him on the ground and putting a gun-powdered exclamation point on an otherwise halfway decent getaway!

Nadja leads the hypnotized family out with Guillermo pleading for her to spare their lives. Having watched her own family die in front of her eyes, the softy in Nadja relents and agrees to let them off with a mere brain wipe on the proviso she’s afforded the house to herself one night a month along with the procuring of Momma Mia’s sequel.

Leaving Guillermo’s coming out in their memories shows that momma can have a heart, too.

Setting course for home with Laszlo taking the wheel, Nandor is left happier and more complete, save for a brain-scrambled Sean now super invested in the street value of Robux.

The weekend wasn’t a total bust.

The house has some new accouterments in the form of the Jersey Devil’s… bust.

Though peppered with top pedigree hilarity, this episode manages to bring the feels in nicely sized vials.

Not only did it craft a watershed moment, but also a watercooler one, which I wasn’t sure was still possible, given the state of so much great television at our fingertips.

With only three more episodes left to this season, I have full confidence that the stakes will only be raised.

(No, Abuelita Waite, I didn’t mean those.)

Deadpool #1 Sees The Merc With A Mouth Back in Business

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deadpool #1

A new Deadpool ongoing series is coming on this November, care of Alyssa Wong and Martin Coccolo.

A new era for Deadpool begins in November and expect him to be deadlier to rise to new challenges along the way! This new ongoing series will be written by Alyssa Wong, known for her brilliant work on exciting books such as Star Wars: Doctor Alpha and Iron Fist. It will also be drawn by Martin Coccolo, who is currently an amazing comic reader in the latest action-packed Hulk vs. Thor: Banner of War crossover.

These rising Marvel stars will be putting everyone’s pizza-faced, smart-mouthed, misguided anti-hero through the wringer of new Deadpool adventures full of insane violence and unending body horror. The Merc with the mouth’s latest lone outings start with a bang as a new mercenary gang sends him on an extremely deadly mission, and a heady villain unfurls a maniacal plan poised to further bruise Wade’s already damaged physique. All, just as a steamy new love interest gets into the mix to make things extra spicy for Wade!

deadpool #1

While Wade Wilson is world renown for being a top mercenary/assassin in the Marvel Universe, albeit an exasperating one, he wants that acknowledgment made official as he tries out for an exclusive group called the Atelier. They’ve given him two days to kill one of the world’s most infamous supervillains. The problem? He’s been kidnapped, and something…unusual…is growing in side him. And not in a fun Deadpool kind of way!

“I love chaos. And what is Deadpool if not chaos incarnate? I’m honored to take the reins for Wade’s next solo adventure–expect romance, expect body horror, and expect a wild time!” Wong promises in a press release from Marvel.

“Some time ago I got to do a ten-page story for Deadpool: Black, White & Blood. It was an awesome albeit short experience which left me wanting for more, so when I was asked if I wanted to take the reins of a new Deadpool series I responded with a resounding yes!” Coccolo said. “Then I got to read Alyssa’s script and I loved it! Their script is inventive, dynamic and a lot of fun and working with Alyssa is an absolute joy. They are the best! So I honestly couldn’t be happier with this opportunity and I think, or at least hope, that readers notice how fun this project is for everyone involved and hopefully they hop on the ride with us!”

The Midnight Suns Comic Trailer Showcases Heroes From The Darkest Places Coming Together

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midnight suns

Writer Ethan Sacks and artist Luigi Zagaria introduce a new Midnight Suns limited series coming September 14

Marvel will see the return of the Midnight Suns rising again next month in a brand-new limited-run series. Written by Ethan Sacks, and drawn by Luigi Zagaria, Marvel’s Midnight Suns put the hottest mystical defenders and ferocious fighters smack dab in the spotlight. With several heroic appearances in this epic showdown including Blade, Ghost Rider/Spirit Rider Kushala, Magik, Wolverine, Nico Minoru, and Strange Academy’s Zoe Laveau.

The team is pulled together when a terrifying threat from the late Sorcerer Supreme’s past arises from out of blue, taking the Strange Academy magician Zoe Laveau as its first target. What follows will affect the very fabric of magic in the main Marvel Comics universe, unveiling deep dark secrets and affecting many beloved magical Marvel favorites. Characters such as Agatha Harkness, Doctor Doom, the students of Strange Academy, and many more.

“This series has some twists and turns that pay homage to things that I love about this genre of the Marvel Universe,” Sacks told CBR in an interview. “This is my first book with magic. It’s been great playing with some of those fantasy elements and some of the real-world horrors threaded in via allegory. That stuff made me a fan of Doctor Strange and the original Midnight Sons. So, it’s been such a blessing to get to play in this part of the sandbox.”

You can watch the team fight with all they’ve got to conquer the worst of dangers in this all-new Midnight Suns trailer below, and can even check out exclusive artwork!

midnight suns

MIDNIGHT SUNS #1 (OF 5)

Written by ETHAN SACKS

Art by LUIGI ZAGARIA

Cover by DAVID NAKAYAMA

On Sale 9/14

Witness a new age of Marvel magic when MIDNIGHT SUNS #1 comes to stands on September 14th. For more information, check out Marvel’s official press release.

Who Do You Think You Are? – Zachary Quinto Review

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WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? -- "Zachary Quinto" -- Pictured: Zachary Quinto -- (Photo by: Mike Schneier/NBC)

The Season Finale of Who Do You Think You Are? Covers Pittsburgh and Italy for Actor Zachary Quinto

Well folks, we’ve reached the end of this season of Who Do You Think You Are? Though I would have loved a few more episodes, I’m pleased with this one and feel it ends things on a high note. They do so with an actor I’ve known since the early 2000s, none other than Zachary Quinto.

There were a lot of unexpected things about Quinto in this episode. For one thing, it starts with him playing the banjo, showing off his great singing voice. Not what I thought we’d get from an actor I first knew as a superpowered serial killer in Heroes, then as Spock, and even a very bad doctor in American Horror Story. For another, I thought Zach’s last name indicated Hispanic descent, but that’s not true.

That said, it’s really no surprise Zach was such a great actor since he got the itch when he was only 11, thanks in large part to his mom. She auditioned him without his knowledge for a singing and dancing troupe, and he was a fan of acting ever since.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? — “Zachary Quinto” — Pictured: Zachary Quinto — (Photo by: Mike Schneier/NBC)

Zach grew up in Pittsburgh, and tragedy struck at a young age. When he was only 7, his father Joseph died of cancer. This forced his mother to go from stay-at-home mom to breadwinner, and she quickly discovered an inner strength she never knew she had. Zach clearly loved his father, and regrets not learning more about his Italian roots, both due to his father’s untimely demise and the fact that his paternal grandparents died before he was born. But before we learn more about that, Zach dives into his maternal ancestor, P.J. McArdle.

Zach heads to Pittsburgh to learn more and does so with the help of Edward Slavishak at the Carnegie Library. P.J. was both a businessman and politician. But before that, he worked to support an Amalgamated metals union. First, he gained recognition in Indiana. A document shows how popular he was, even at the young age of 25. Even more noteworthy, P.J. uses the phrase “live long and prosper” some 112 years before his grandson played Spock in the Star Trek movies.

A few short years later, P.J. became the union president and moved to Pittsburgh. That was key since Pittsburgh was the home to the labor movement, and every national union even had its own newspaper. This particular union’s work was incredibly dangerous, and when P.J. became president, they were being treated as obsolete after years of working in deadly conditions with poor pay. Worse, machines were being eyed to replace skilled human labor. P.J. had his work cut out for him as president, and found everything in steep decline. Despite those odds, he took the position knowing how difficult it might be.

Next Zach heads to the University of Maryland to discover how P.J. fared after becoming president. Professor of History Chad Pearson reads a union propaganda piece written by P.J. It discusses the dignity of work, and how those of different ethnic backgrounds should band together to strike. It shows how far-sighted his grandfather was. Unfortunately, this David was against a mighty Goliath in JP Morgan (yes, that one), and things got incredibly difficult.

A year after the strike, P.J.’s brother died in a non-union mine accident. Soon afterward, the strike he helped helm ended after 14 months. Regardless, his journey wasn’t over yet, and he leveraged his union work to transition into politics. Returning to Pittsburgh, Quinto learns about his life after that with archivist Nicholas Hartley. Turns out, P.J. was on the City Council for 28 years and died at 65 as a beloved representative. Before leaving, Zach visits the road named after him, the P.J. McArdle Roadway. Next, Quinto visits a lead from Ancestry historian Jenn Utley and heads to Italy.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? — “Zachary Quinto” — Pictured: Zachary Quinto — (Photo by: Mike Schneier/NBC)

Quinto’s 3x paternal great-grandparents, Pietro Cafolla and Clemenzia Rosato, lived in Lenola during a time of upheaval. Lucy Riall helps Zach learn more about them. In the 1800’s Italy was a bunch of separate kingdoms instead of a nation-state, all with different rulers. Everything was unstable and dangerous. Then in 1860 nationalists took over.

With Lucy’s help, Zach combs some archives. One document from 1864 shows that Pietro was attacked by brigands while doing fieldwork. In the period from 1861-65, there was a war between the new Italian kingdom and the old Bourbon government. The latter used brigands to spread fear, rob, and destabilize the people. And Pietro got kidnapped and in that ensuing conflict.

A second document shows Pietro was held hostage for a couple of weeks. Despite all that, he managed to survive miraculously unscathed and lived to 75 years old. Zach decides to end his journey by heading to Lenola for more details about Pietro, and a pleasant surprise.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? — “Zachary Quinto” — Pictured: Zachary Quinto — (Photo by: Mike Schneier/NBC)

He meets a surveyor named Gianfranco and a translator named Maria. Turns out, Zach and Gianfranco are related, and their grandparents were brothers. As a surveyor, Gianfranco shows Zach around and indicates places where walls were made from bombed houses. Quinto takes it all in, and feels like a more complete person as a result, with a renewed respect for both sides of his family tree.

Overall another great episode of Who Do You Think You Are? The only odd note was that Quinto apparently has a brother of his own, but never mentions his name or talks about him other than that. Despite that peculiarity, Quinto was charming and surprisingly likable. Thanks for reading, and stay tuned to The Workprint for more pop culture coverage!

What You Should Know about She-Hulk

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Tatiana Maslany as She-Hulk
Tatiana Maslany as She-Hulk

Are you all ready for the next great thing on Disney+?

Coming up this week, we have She-Hulk: Attorney at Law. This new series stars Tatiana Maslany as the sensational savage jade giantess. Jameela Jamil comes on board as the She-Hulk’s arch nemesis Titania and Charlie Cox as Matt Murdock—no doubt there to challenge her in the courtroom.  Returning to their roles within the MCU is Mark Ruffalo as her jolly green giant cousin, the Hulk, as well as Tim Roth who is reprising his role as the Abomination and Benedict Wong as Wong, the sorcerer supreme of Earth.

I’m excited. Sure, the naysaying basement dwellers (not me, but others) have been poo-pooing the quality of the CGI and have been creative in their bit of whining, but I leave them to their sad devices.

For me, this is the manifestation of the second of three female characters that I’ve been following since 1979. Back then, “Smilin’” Stan announced that the She-Hulk, Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers), and Spider-Woman (Jessica Drew) would be getting their own new titles.

Back then, it was a bold and progressive move.

Stan Lee, who never shied away from an exploitive opportunity, saw the success of characters like the Hulk, Captain Marvel, and Spider-Man. With that as an inspiration, he brought three counterparts to these heroes.

Ms. Marvel, Spider-woman, and She-Hulk
These three: She-Hulk, Spider-woman, and Ms. Marvel were Marvel’s next wave of super-heroines in 1979.

It seemed to be the trend of that era as he was inspired by the success of The Bionic Woman after the introduction of The Six Million Dollar Man. As others might view his television project of The Incredible Hulk as an inspiration to others to create an unlicensed female version of the character, Marvel decided to create one before anyone else did.

And here we are today with an upcoming She-Hulk television show only forty-two years later.

So, there is some stuff to unpack. Who is the She-Hulk? What can she do? And how have her powers evolved?

So, let’s get cracking.

Who is the She-Hulk?

Jennifer Walters aka She-Hulk
She’Hulk’s alter ego is mousey Jennifer Walters

Before I go into who the She-Hulk is, let me tell you who she is not. The She-Hulk is not a mutant and is not a trans-version of the Hulk. She got her powers the old-fashioned way—through an indirect radiation accident.

Jen Walters, attorney at law, is the She-Hulk. Bruce Banner is her cousin. Her story starts as Banner was trying to lay low from a police manhunt for the Hulk. While he was in the neighborhood, he dropped in on his cousin at work. After a brief reunion and the obligatory rehash of the Hulk’s origin, Bruce and Jen drove to her home.

One of the drawbacks of being a criminal attorney is that dangerous mobsters find the worst times to come gunning for you. This usually happens when pesky defense attorneys are representing men they are trying to frame. 

The big crime boss, Nicholas Trask, put a hit out on Jen. She was shot. Bruce, who usually doesn’t do well under stress, conducts an emergency blood transfusion in Jen’s home to save her life. 

She-Hulk Transfusion
Jennifer Walters gets a blood transfusion from her gamma charged cousin.

After he called an ambulance, he was taken into police custody. Only, the problem was that Banner just could not control himself. He “hulked out” at the station and escaped.  However, he did not leave town until he read that Jen was okay in the hospital.

It must have been a slow news day.

While Jen was recovering in the hospital, Trask sent some goons over there to finish the job.

Unknown to them, Jen was packing some primo gamma juice flowing through her system. When she saw that the three mysterious thugs in her room wanted to kill her, the stress transformed her into the She-Hulk for the first time.

And she was not happy.

After the She-Hulk mowed through the hitmen, who were completely unprepared to fight a six-and-a-half-foot angry, muscle-bound, bullet-proof giantess, she tore apart the hospital, found the wheelman of the group, and scared a confession from him about Trask.

Don't make her angry
Don’t make her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

With that news, Jen calmed down and made her way back to her hospital bed and began to contemplate her new future as a savage superhuman.

The first twenty-five issues of her title, The Savage She-Hulk, chronicle Jen’s adventures while controlling her wild violent side and balancing it with her legal career. Rounding out the cast were her two friends/love interests, Doctor Daniel “Zapper” Ridge and Rick Rory (formerly from the pages of The Man-Thing and The Defenders), as well as her legal rival, antagonist, and ADA, Dennis “Buck” Bukowski.

During that time, she fought a plethora of forgettable villains including characters like “The Word”, a former editor of the world’s largest unabridged dictionaries who learned to become “super persuasive”. She also teamed up with Michael Morbius, the living vampire. During this run, she began her relationship with John Jameson, the Man-Wolf (aka Stargod).  Years later, she and Jameson would briefly marry.

The last issue of the Savage She-Hulk concluded with her decision to remain as the She-Hulk without going back to her Jen Walters form.

 

Moving On

After the end of She-Hulk’s monthly series, she appeared regularly in The Avengers, becoming a mainstay within the group. She left the Avengers shortly after the 1982 run of Secret Wars to fill in for Ben Grimm, The Thing with the Fantastic Four when he decided to stay on the Beyonder’s Battleworld.

She remained with Marvel’s first family for a while before her second series began with The Sensational She-Hulk. For the most part, this series was more tongue-in-cheek humor with She-Hulk regularly breaking through the fourth wall to her readers (Yes kids, she was doing this years before Deadpool was doing it). Teaming up with the golden-age heroine, The Blonde Phantom, Louise Mason, as well as becoming romantically involved with the Fantastic Four’s Wyatt Wingfoot, the She-Hulk had plenty of misadventures during this series.

As the series ended, the She-Hulk returned to the Avengers and remained with the team until the Scarlet Witch magically manipulated her to return to a savage version of herself.  With that, she had torn the Vision in half before going on a rampage in New York. 

Fortunately for her, it was deemed that she was not responsible for her actions and was cleared of any legal prosecution from that. She rejoined the Avengers and has also been a member of S.H.I.E.L.D., lending support as the muscle.

Eventually, she joined the Superhuman Law division of the New York firm of Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway to take on cases for metahumans.

 

What are the She-Hulk’s Powers?

When petite Jen Walters got some of her cousin’s gamma-irradiated blood into her system, it caused a radical change within her body to trigger a transformation into a six-foot-seven fully muscled giantess. The She-Hulk’s body possesses a high degree of imperviousness to injury, pain, and disease.  Her body also comes with a healing factor that would allow her body to heal from the unlikely event of cuts and lacerations within minutes.

Initially, the transformation was brought on by anger or stress. However, as she received the gamma radiation indirectly, she was not as strong as her cousin, the Hulk. At first, her transformed body could only lift/press approximately fifty tons. 

The other difference between her and the Hulk is that because she retains her intellect, She-Hulk was not capable of increasing her strength through rage or anger. The Hulk could do this regularly as his intellect and emotional stability were that of a five-year-old.

Later in her career, as Jen Walters decided to remain in her She-Hulk form most of the time, she would not need an emotional trigger to make her transformation.

Weezi She-Hulk Swap
She-Hulk discovers that doing the Ovoid trick of a mind exchange had unexpected consequences due to her gamma radiation and switched forms with her partner, Louise Mason

The She-Hulk’s powers have evolved through the years. One of her least-known powers showed up when she came into the care of the alien race, the Ovoids. After they gave her the power to telepathically switch minds with another person, the aliens discovered that due to the gamma radiation in her body, had the unexpected effect of exchanging her form with that of another person. When she tried this with her shorter, stouter partner, Louise Mason, the She-Hulk became a shorter, stouter version of herself without powers while granting Mason her taller superhuman body. The exchange requires the full absolute consent of both parties to change back. The She-Hulk has never used this ability again.

One thing that the She-Hulk discovered is that her strength as the She-Hulk is exponentially linked to the strength of her Jennifer Walters form. After her defeat against the elder of the universe known as “The Champion”, the She-Hulk in her Jen Walters form began to rigorously exercise through a strength-building regimen. This effort resulted in a massive upgrade in her power that put her on the “Class 100” strength level and pushed her power level to a limit of over a hundred tons.

In her rematch with the Champion, she beat him easily.

She-Hulk v The Champion
She-Hulk proves that she is more than a match for The Champion of the Universe

She received another power upgrade after an encounter with the Celestial, Eson. This boost allowed her to nearly kill the Thing and punch through the Invisible Woman’s force field.

One of the things that are rarely discussed is She-Hulk’s personality versus her personality as Jen Walters. Originally, when she was “the savage She-Hulk”, her moods were highly volatile and she was prone to violent outbursts. Her personality nowadays is calmer and more fun-loving. Now, with her transformation into the She-Hulk, Jen Walters became more confident and assertive. In addition to this, she has fewer inhibitions in her She-Hulk form than she did as Jen.

 

Jennifer Walters, Attorney at Law

Metahumans who need a legal defense in the Marvel Universe would do well to seek the jade giantess as a lawyer. She is one of the best lawyers this side of Matt Murdock and has even beaten him on occasion.

As a graduate of the UCLA School of Law and a member of the Order of the Coif, She-Hulk ranks as one of the best attorneys around. In addition to practicing law within the terrestrial courts, she is a member of the Magistrati who has argued cases to the highest court in existence. The continued existence of the Marvel 616 Universe (as opposed to the Ultimate Universe) is credited to the argumentative skills of the She-Hulk to the Living Tribunal.

When not operating at that high court, she fights for the underdogs and for the underprivileged to get a proper legal defense.

 

Final Words

The She-Hulk appearance as a live character has been a long, long time coming. 

I began reading The Savage She-Hulk on issue 9 back in 1980. They got me reading it with a huge ad on the cover to win a Toys“R”Us shopping spree. 

What fourteen-year-old wouldn’t want that?

When people were watching Bill Bixby warn others that they shouldn’t make him angry and that people wouldn’t like him when he got “white contact lenses” angry, the She-Hulk was merely a legal maneuver to keep Marvel in the superheroine game. 

Bill Bixby angry
“Hey, let’s go over and start trouble with the nerdy guy until his eyes change white.”

Marvel has done things like this before. The long-forgotten and often mocked Roger Corman Fantastic Four film that never hit the box offices was a similar maneuver.

Sometimes, Stan Lee did things to keep other people from doing them.

With that said, Marvel fans have grown to love this character.  The She-Hulk may have started as a gimmick along with Ms. Marvel and Spider-Woman, but her character has grown far beyond that. She is a superhero, an attorney, and an activist.  What better figure could there be for women’s empowerment?

Peter David, the former writer for The Incredible Hulk and She-Hulk, said that She-Hulk has the potential to be Marvel’s Wonder Woman. 

“She is a powerful female with a strong moral center and a determination to do what’s right,” said David. “She’s also a unique combination of brains and brawn. The ideal She-Hulk story plays on both aspects of her make-up, the intelligence combined with her strength.”

She-Hulk Neilson
This almost happened. Brigitte Neilsen as She-Hulk

Back in the nineties, there was talk of a Brigitte Nielsen She-Hulk movie. Would we have been ready for something like that? Let’s leave alone the fact that the special effects of making such a film back then would have consisted of more than a little bit of green spray paint and a lot of forced perspective.

Something like that happily died. The character would have been Mystery Science Theatre 3000 fodder.

Characters like the She-Hulk cannot be made with cheese.  They must wait for a time where audiences can take her seriously and for screenwriters to make a script without the obligatory sexist lines that permeated movies in the nineties.  This cannot be one of those.

I think we’re lucky now. 

Given the track record of Disney+, and their success with characters like the Black Widow, Sharon Carter, Scarlet Witch, Gamora, and Captain Marvel, the She-Hulk’s time has come to show a strong female character that kicks ass on the streets and in the courtrooms.

Resident Alien Season 2 Episode 9: Autopsy Review

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RESIDENT ALIEN -- "Autopsy" Episode 209 -- Pictured: Jenna Lamia as Judy Cooper -- (Photo by: Eike Shroter/SYFY)

Syfy’s Resident Alien is Back and Just as Funny as Ever With the Return of Season 2.

It’s been several long, painful months since Resident Alien season 2 went on break. And though I haven’t covered the show in the past, I’ve been a fan since the very beginning. Now that Resident Alien is back with the latest episode, Autopsy, things start escalating very quickly, and a relatively simple murder quickly gets out of hand.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “Autopsy” Episode 209 — Pictured: (l-r) Alan Tudyk as Harry Vanderspeigle, Levi Fiehler as Mayor Ben Hawthorne — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

Autopsy starts pretty much where the last episode ended all those months ago, with Asta shooting the man that shot Harry and killing him dead. D’Arcy stumbles onto them and then helps them awkwardly hide the body from an oblivious Sheriff Mike. Helping their cause is baby Goliath, who murders two more witnesses to Asta’s crime by dragging them into the water.

As for Harry, he’s handling his near-death experience as well as can be expected. After Asta helps remove the bullet so his body can look human again, he realizes he doesn’t enjoy fearing death. On his planet, everything was part of the same ecosystem, and thus never really died. Here, if his human body is killed, so is he. Now saddled with human emotions, he’s not sure what to do. So, of course, he pushes his emotions aside and pretends they don’t bother him. This is honestly one of the most human things this goofy alien has ever done.

Asta isn’t doing much better than Harry, but for a while, her bestie D’Arcy helps her rally. She even volunteers to throw the body in a wood chipper, but then Harry realizes they can implicate the dead man in Sam Hodges’ murder. So the new plan is to dump the body at the motel he was staying at, the Copper Ridge Motel.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “Autopsy” Episode 209 — Pictured: Alice Wetterlund as D’Arcy Bloom — (Photo by: Eike Shroter/SYFY)

Slutty Judy works there, but D’Arcy does a great job of distracting her from her horrible recording of Frankenstein with deviled eggs while Harry and Asta toss the body in a jacuzzi to help remove evidence. While this happens, Harry complains about how humans decay so much faster and smellier than his species, which conveniently turn into stone when they die. The next morning, Judy discovers the body, though it takes her a while to realize that floating upside down in water means the man is dead.

Meanwhile, Liv and Mike are trying to piece together the names they found hidden in Hodges’ office, which all point back to the Galvan/Powell Group. There’s also a darling moment when Deputy Liv tries to convince Mike how tough she is, and how she swears all the time. Let’s just say she fails miserably and leave it at that. It all seems like it’s going according to plan until the mayor discovers another murder in Patience, and because of how the motel lies near it and Jessup, tries to say it’s their jurisdiction. Of course, he does this in the most infantile way possible, pretending to call in a tip.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “Autopsy” Episode 209 — Pictured: (l-r) Corey Reynolds as Sheriff Mike Thompson, Elizabeth Bowen as Deputy Liv Baker — (Photo by: James Dittiger/SYFY)

Thus, we’re introduced to the Jessup detective Torres, who’s both cute and arrogant as hell. It’s clear she thinks Patience is just some pitiful little town, and I actually felt some sympathy for Mike and Liv when they had to deal with her. Though I did appreciate how she reacted to Mike calling himself Big Black by referring to herself as Medium Brown. Understandably, Harry is furious about the body being taken away since that would screw up his chance to fake the autopsy in a way that benefits him and Asta.

As for the agent that got sniped by an alien while trying to trade the sphere for his life, he’s doing better than you might expect. David survives being shot and falling to his death all thanks to the alien sphere. Then he meets up with Linda Hamilton’s character, who actually is helping protect him. Well, at least when she’s not drugging him for fun. It’s a weird relationship, but far from the worst partner, David’s been saddled with.

Harry eventually manages to get things back on track by planting evidence and using Judy as his unwitting assistant. My favorite part of that scene is when he mispronounces her last name first as Pooper and then as Cooter, which almost makes the scandalous woman blush a little. Then after he gets Torres to agree to give the body back to Patience, Judy decides to take an impromptu jacuzzi session in the same place they placed the dead body.

RESIDENT ALIEN — “Autopsy” Episode 201 — Pictured in this screengrab: (l-r) Meredith Garretson as Kate Hawthorne, Alan Tudyk as Harry Vanderspeigle, Levi Fiehler as Mayor Ben Hawthorne — (Photo by: SYFY)

There are some really great little moments in Autopsy, such as Harry agreeing to be a town doctor again, but having some utterly ridiculous demands. My favorite is threatening nurse Ellen with capital punishment if she steals another granola bar. Asta and D’Arcy also bond with some day drinking, which temporarily helps Asta get out of her head. Harry is even forced to play therapist to the mayor and his wife, which he immediately tries, and fails, to sabotage. D’Arcy even has a sweet moment with her Native American beau and goes on a date.

As funny as the latest Resident Alien was, it ends in a surprisingly dark place. Though Harry is doing slightly better at thinking about others, he does something horrible in a misplaced attempt to help. Asta is overwrought by killing the man. So, of course, Harry decides to erase her memory, including her remembering to celebrate her daughter’s birthday. And the baby Goliath vomits up someone’s driver’s license, which is sure to cause some trouble. Overall it’s another excellent episode of Syfy’s absolute funniest new show. Tune in next week for our coverage of the next installment of Resident Alien!

Gen Con 2022: Cult of The Deep

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The final game The Workprint checked out at Gen Con 2022, Cult of The Deep is what happens when you mix an array of D&D-styled dice rolling mechanics and blend it along with occultist themed-horror and cards. All for a terrifyingly good time that’s always challenging and never boring.

This combative game never relents regarding the numerous usage of dice rolls is a hidden-role player versus player game meant for 4-8 people. In it, characters secretly maneuver roles in order to either help or hinder, the cult’s faction’s rise to power. The faithful serve as those trying to protect the high priest. The cabalists, meanwhile, serve as those who are trying to kill them. Finally, the heretics are those that represent something in between, who want to be the last persons alive in this battle between the faithful.

What’s great is that the objective isn’t entirely clear as everyone’s roles are secret and randomly assigned. During a 45-60 minute match, every player will battle for control of rituals and mythical monsters though will spend most of it having no idea whose role is what. To make things even more complicated, every player also holds special roles according to their character, some of which, maybe self-centered or can be used to help or mess with each faction’s side. 

The game comes with 37 custom high-quality dice, 68 tarot-sized cards, and more. What’s neat for board game collectors, is that there are a lot of components to this game along with its dice, and the base cards are in fact, dual-layered so they’ll have a solid-weighted feel. 

Just like in Bang!, players roll die to either heal themselves or one another, stab another, or use rituals to empower themselves with special abilities. Players can re-roll as many dice as they like twice. Each six-sided die has damage, double damage, heals, and then symbols associated with the costs used for rituals and special abilities. Whatever the player keeps at the end of their roll phase is then used in the commit phase.  

Now, there are 4 unique rituals in the game set in the middle of the field. These magical fields can give benefits or hurt everyone depending on what’s in play. Atop of this, if a player is actually able to move a ritual counter to the end of their counters, they can actually hold onto any special keeper abilities that they maintain. There are also, many coin-based abilities players can collect and use in the middle of roll resolutions to affect the dice rolls of themselves or other players.

It can’t be stressed enough: that there are tons of abilities and active die-rolling and re-rolling in this game. Gameplay is broken down by the roll, commit (where you keep the rolls of certain die), response (when players respond to your committed dies and planned actions), and resolve (these commitments get executed) phases.

What’s neat is that almost every moment in Cult of The Deep feels actively interruptible due to the nature of the rituals and character special abilities, as there are so many opportunities for die-roll modifers from an opponent or ally. Atop of this, there is also a hidden sigil card in front of each individual player. These are one-time use items that are powerful spells that can seriously affect gameplay. 

Interestingly, players can only reveal themselves when they die, but even then, they get the opportunity to become a wraith. Wraiths get a whole new set of cards and abilities, again, continuing to affect the playing field and die rolls.

The only drawback to this game is that though people try and be secretive about their role, unfortunately, sometimes it becomes rather obvious. Cabalists sometimes should just directly attack the high priest directly, especially, if they have a very damaging role like an assassin.

Still, given the unique characters and their abilities, atop of all of the active abilities in the ritual cards, the game is almost always active with so much going on that players rarely get to just sit there and wait. Keeping player engagement always high. 

Cult of the Deep is available at several places online and at Walmart. It sells for 44.99 

What We Do In The Shadows Recap: The Wedding

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Event planning can be a royal hassle for the inexperienced. It can even be a bigger pain in the ass if it is for a wedding. It can be the biggest headache, however, if the fount of diva-like behavior is none other than a seven-centuries-old imperious egomaniac with a penchant for perfection and abhorrence for the word “No.”

Welcome to the sixth episode of What We Do In The Shadows (FX) titled “The Wedding.”

I hope you brought your formal dress.

We open in on the vampire residence. As Nandor’s (Kayvan Novak) wedding night draws closer, his anxiety grows stronger, convinced that external forces are conspiring to thwart the finalization of matrimony.

It doesn’t help that both he and his best man have been bereft of slumber for one entire week. Nandor’s perfectionist nature precludes him from thinking straight and calming down, which is also taking its toll on Guillermo (Harvey Guillen).

The only thinking keeping Gizmo afloat is staying lubricated with energy drinks, but something tells me the cool and collected fabric of his brain is beginning to fray with unraveling seeming like an unfortunate inevitability.

Even when Marwa (Parisa Fakhri) requests a change of floral arrangement Nandor takes it personally. Given his hair-trigger temper, nobody seems safe around him, not even the Djinn (Anoop Desai) who can only observe the groom-to-be and his best man getting close to being on each other’s last nerve.

Having Laszlo (Matt Berry) extending an invite to human neighbors Sean and Charmaine to an all-vampire wedding isn’t sitting well with Nandor either, as he feels they’re simply another wrench in his already sabotaged nuptials

Guillermo, on his last good nerve, confronts the bridezilla. Some of his demands are simply the stuff of legend ie a live dodo bird roasting for the wraiths to dine on. Nandor’s only advice? “figure it out.”

Elsewhere, as Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) and the Guide (Kristen Schaal) are figuring out club matters, they hear a ruckus in the next room. It’s Guillermo letting off some steam and with a few boots to the wall and one eviscerated pillow later, Nadja and the Guide offer their assistance to the ostensibly burnt-out familiar.

The dodo isn’t that big of an ask, as the Guide has a nest in her Chamber of Curiosities, so the next order of business is getting the Baron to agree to officiate the ceremony so off to Nutley, New Jersey they go.

Still living out his existence to the best of his ability alongside hellhound Aspen and the Sire (Chris Mark), Baron Afanas (Doug Jones) initially declines the offer due to him being a charred shell of his old visage and not even a complete husk at that!

Nadja’s plan to turn the Baron’s plight into a sight to behold is the classic makeover montage, complete with a Hall and Oates backing. I mean you can’t get any more wholesome to warm somebody’s broken spirits.

Back at the homestead, Marwa brings up to Nandor’s attention that her parents are not on the guestlist on account of them being long dead. Growing stingier with what little wishes he has left in favor of burdening Guillermo with all the planning, Nandor decides to burn one off in the name of love.

Off running errands, Guillermo runs into his friend Derek, now a full-time vampire, and part-time cashier. It’s been a while and Derek seems to be managing the lifestyle change, it hasn’t been the kindest to him when it comes to making and keeping friends. In fact, to him, the vamp life is rather lonely. Feeling bad for him, Guillermo invites him to the wedding, where he may socially spread his wings, so to speak.

Back at the abode, in a departure from her typical nature, a cross Nadja sticks up for Guillermo to Nandor’s face, convincing him to lighten the load for all involved. With the click of his pen, Nandor’s knocked out his wish for a live dodo bird, for Baron Afanas to return to his original glory, and lastly for Marwa to like all the things he likes, and just like that, the wishing well is closed indefinitely.

In a total non-sequitur, we are treated to a mock commercial of Go Flip Yourself starring the Sklars.

With everything set for the perfect wedding, Nandor looks back bittersweetly on how cavalier he’d been with the gift of instant gratification, including a wish to have his coffin closed instead of letting Guillermo handle the simple task.

It’s now wedding night and the only two mortals, Sean (Anthony Atamanuik) and Charmaine (Marissa Jaret Winokur) are being preparatorily hypnotized by Nadja and the Guide to fear not the guests and retain no memories of the festivities lay just beyond the venue doors.

As guests are filing in, a very regal-looking Nandor is still prattling on about guests who only wish the night a failure. Guillermo assures him that though it’s just nerves, he’ll be by his side, as any best man worth their dignity would.

Sean and Charmaine press the flesh with the vampiric gen du monde and Guillermo gets the party started by introducing Baron Afanas, making an entrance with as much brio and radiance as any legend, eliciting cat calls from all corners of the joint.

In sparing all in attendance an interminable speech, the Baron gets down to brass tacks, opening up the floor to any objections. The first to speak up is none other than Marwa’s mother (Aida Keykhaii), chastising the practice of being previously married to her, leaving her to die alone only to be brought back by the magic of a Djinn as unnatural.

Marwa insists this is what she wants but before being united in unholy matrimony, Nadja cosigns, as she feels Nandor’s heart just isn’t in it.

After an hour of objections from around the joint, including Laszlo praising only his marriage, the Guide professing actual love for Nandor Derek complaining about a lack of friends, to Sean and Charmaine putting in their two cents to the Sire speaking delivering a downer speech on the invariable ruination of love, the poor couple simply cannot catch a break.

Marwa does speak up, however, admitting that even she had her moments of doubt in the time leading up to being across from her forever husband, however, as of the other night, she’s had a change of heart as “she likes what he likes” bringing the crowd to tears, jeers, and cheers. Only those that witnessed Nandor use his last wish know what the marriage will be predicated on.

As the nightclub is in full swing, Nandor confirms what caused her to jump into wedded ‘bliss’. meanwhile, Laszlo shoots his shot with the Baron after learning that Nadja had a little taste of him immediately after the ceremony.

Nandor does admit to the Baron that though not exactly dead set on giving Marwa life everlasting, he’s thinking about it.

Marwa does ultimately thank Guillermo for pulling off a wedding for the ages, although awkward appreciation through smooches does hint at potential trouble in paradise before the couple’s marital bed even got warm.

In a rather thoughtful if not misguided gesture, the Djinn presents Nandor with a wedding gift in the form of a new genie lamp that only contains 3 wishes. These ought to be ruminated with a judicious mind.

Keeping the energy from slacking, Laszlo and Nadja are back to their musical roots with an original: “Who Will Come First On the Wedding Night?” and a more fitting song does not exist.

Out in the lobby, Nandor finds Doll Nadja and Baby Colin (Mark Proksch) adorning a down-for-the-count Guillermo with some phallic flare.

Finishing strong with not one but two mid-credit scenes, the episode was solid. I’m a sucker for weddings fictional depictions and otherwise. The pageantry and intimate nature of them alike are worth the price of a registry purchase… even if when you wake up outside with your trousers around your ankles and no recollection of how lit ’twas the night.

Gen Con 2022: Master Dater

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The funniest comedy shorts involving stick figures on the internet, Cyanide and Happiness have been around for nearly two decades. Averaging over a million views a day, the series was created by cartoonists Kris Wilson, Rob DenBleyker, Matt Melvin, and Dave McElfatrick, back when they were mostly in high school. First, as a webcomic that began in the mid-2000s, then later, as an animated series featured on youtube. 

Recently, Cyanide and Happiness have pivoted into tabletop gaming with Joking Hazard. A popular party-themed card game based on the brand’s random comics generator designed much in the gameplay styles of Cards Against Humanity. With four expansions having debuted these past several years, including at Gen Con 2022, along with another C+H themed game in Trial by Trolley, it came as no surprise to see the development team at it again during Gen Con 2022. This time with their newest game: Master Dater

We spoke with Cyanide and Happiness co-founder Rob DenBleyker. He shared with us all you need to know about their latest game.

 

What Is Master Dater?

Master Dater is a comedy party dating game much in the stylings of Cyanide and Happiness type of humor. Like Joking Hazard or Cards Against Humanity, the point of the game is to come up with jokes using the cards given to you to score the most cards and become, in this case, the winning ‘Master Dater’.

To achieve this, players must win over the affections of ‘the sexy single’ by mixing and matching character parts from their hands of 3 heads and 3 bodies, all in order to create the perfect date. First, the sexy single draws three interest cards revealing 3 facts about themselves that the players must try to satisfy. These are often strange facts like having two dicks or being someone who destroys everything that they love. 

Like Frankenstein’s Monster, the players will then need to create a partner to fulfill these needs, often in very funny ways, because it’s up to them to plead their case as to why their personal monstrosity would be the perfect partner. The sexy single then awards the player or players who best argued their case. Afterward, the sexy single role to passed on to the next player.

“This has been in development for a couple of years and the idea went through a lot of different genres,” revealed DenBleyker regarding Master Dater’s longstanding development. “We tried varieties of themes regarding the character creation element such as a courtroom drama, which was fun, but felt too open-ended. Shy players were sort of left out as others, sort of, dominated. Eventually, we settled on a dating game because it proved to be the most accessible as possible, and people generally had a good time.” 

What’s best about Master Dater is the unique take on character creation elements as the game feels less restrictive compared to other card games, or for that matter, even Joking Hazard. The improvisation as to why their characters are what monstrosities they are and how that would be best to meet a date’s needs: are easily the funniest parts of the game.

Gameplay can feature 3-6 players and can go 40 minutes to an hour and beyond depending on how large the group is. Given the nature of the comedy, it’s highly recommended to play with a mature audience in mind, as Cyanide and Happiness can get dark regarding its comedy.

As part of the Kickstarter Campaign, Master Dater also has a series of rather funny digital shorts attached that sets up its premise rather nicely (seen above). There are 9 episodes in total the first of which is linked above. Given the fun premise, all-in-all, Master Dater looks to be a fun addition to the Cyanide and Happiness brand.

“That’s been our philosophy ever since,” said DenBleyker regarding how the team approaches game development. “We’re not trying to release a game every year or hit a quota. We’re just playing around until something sticks and makes us laugh. Then we develop it.”

At Gen Con 2022, C+H was also releasing a new joking hazard expansion set. They also revealed that there were 2-3 upcoming games now at various stages of development, some of which were still waiting on that single spark: that unique game mechanic to really make it click.

Tokoyo: The Tower of Perpetuity Review – Cute and Challenging, a Quintessential 2D Platformer

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Vibrant Kawaii Aesthetic Belies a Ruthless Precision 2D Platformer

Developed by solo indie game developer @saebashi and published by PLAYISM, Tokoyo released on June 2nd, 2022 for Nintendo Switch and Steam on PC. Tokoyo is a 2D sprite-based platformer in which you are tasked with climbing a tower that changes every 24 hours. It includes a global cross-console leaderboard in which all players’ scores are recorded and ranked for the day. As you climb the floors and progress through the tower, you face a diverse cast of enemies, deviously designed traps, and quite a few bosses with unscrupulous attack patterns. However, your character is only given one attack ability that comes with a 30 second cooldown – meaning that your primary means of progressing is raw platforming ability.

Tokoyo features cute animated sprites and beautiful vibrant levels, though there can sometimes be serious screen clutter with certain characters on some of the busier floors. The music is also of the same sort of saccharine design, often with a perky kawaii uplift, although it begins to adopt more ominous tones in the later stages to better match the ruthlessness.

Kukuri from Tokoyo using attack

The 24-hour lifecycle of a tower

So the technological centerpiece of Tokoyo is its daily restructuring of its tower, along with its leaderboard. Featuring a countless number of levels that are also unique in every tower permutation, Tokoyo promises to endlessly deliver content by way of procedurally generated levels. As you climb the day’s randomized structure, you collect coins and avoid damage to increase your score, which is ranked among all other players after you win or die. The daily tower offers even more permutations by way of shrines, where the player can choose one of two paths, a feature that I found wildly helpful when dying to extremely difficult floors.

The tower’s basic level is a floor, and a day’s tower is somewhere around 50 floors, though there are a few safe floors in the mix. The floors are also divided into regions, and each region adds more enemy and trap types. At the end of a region will be either a shrine or a boss – they feature an array of weapons that must be avoided while attacking the boss with your singular attack ability. And at the end of the last region awaits an extra kawaii final boss with unbelievably tricky attack patterns and a massive health pool.

Shrines in Tokoyo

Simple game mechanics, devious level design

In Tokoyo, you can control your character by moving, jumping with a double jump, and attacking with a 30 second cooldown ability. The jumps offer full air control, and the precision is helpful in navigating the procedurally generated levels. There are no other mechanics like parrying or dashing, so each action must be considered carefully and executed with full confidence.

Your run-n-jump abilities will be put to the test as you navigate the tower and overcome its challenges. There are early stage enemies that slowly crawl around the perimeter of the room, and there are late stage enemies that chase you relentlessly through walls in giant packs. There are gun traps that shoot all manner of projectiles from plasma barrages to laser beams, spike traps that move faster when you walk near them, and the classic spinning sawblades on a track. Some levels are designed for you to run full speed into the cycle and autorun while dodging danger, while others specifically punish you for mindlessly trying to match a cycle, luring you in with the sweet promise of expedited clear times and rewarding you with a mace to the face.

Tokoyo’s early floors are easy enough, featuring enemies that are slow and predictable, with some simple traps and platforming challenges. The occasional cycle timing with a persistent tricky succubus might lead more than one run to its premature death, but it’s otherwise an engaging challenge to attempt to climb the first half of the tower without accruing any damage, and racking up a healthy score multiplier combo bonus along the way.

However, after ascending a few regions and defeating a boss or two, the difficulty curve suddenly ramps up to the extreme, and an otherwise flawless run can end with a single troublesome level. Enemies get bigger and harder to kill, floor cycles get tighter and more unforgiving, and certain floors even adopt monochrome color schemes to better disguise subtle flame traps, which are among my most hated traps for how well they blend into the surroundings and how deceptively large their hitbox actually is.

Cocoa from Tokoyo

Lean on content, but delivers a satisfyingly difficult experience

Tokoyo aims to deliver a 2D platformer, and it excels at that at the expense of all else. There isn’t much depth or complexity, such as trying to complete certain item builds or bypassing stretches of the tower using arcane shortcuts. There isn’t even a difficulty slider. You’re given a character with an ability, you generally just pick up any items that you can, and you have to clear each and every floor’s puzzle or challenge. Coins can be collected for points, but otherwise have no effect on your run. Defeating enemies doesn’t affect your score either, so skillful avoidance is often the better choice.

There are five characters with different weapon archetypes – melee insta-kill blades that circle the player like Mario Kart triple shells, long-range low-damage seeker missiles, a medium-range mark-for-death defensive aura, and more. They’ll affect how you progress levels where you have to clear enemies, as some characters may have to be more patient with their weapons than others. Additionally, different characters will have different end bosses. Otherwise, the backstory and epilogue for completion don’t really offer much literary depth or gameplay tie-in, and are utterly forgettable.

As for items, there isn’t that much to say about the limited cast of items that offer very muted effects, intended to be stacked but limited by severe RNG. Only a few items are guaranteed at certain points of the game, such as a choice of one of three on the first floor. The rest are either generated as a part of the floor’s design, or looted off the occasional player corpse. The most useful items may be those that recover some health after each floor clear, or slightly slow down the floor clear timer – the karma meter, which ticks down as you climb a floor and is rewarded per floor clear – or even those that give a 10% increase to jump height, as it gives some extra clearance to your jumps to navigate the precisely mapped level. The DPS items definitely have a use in decreasing the time to kill the final boss, but certain items may need to be stacked more to be useful and thus depend even more on RNG. In the end, you’ll have very little opportunity to choose your own items, and instead are usually at the mercy of the run’s RNG.

Imibi from Tokoyo

Not overly difficult to complete, but extremely challenging to place highly on the leaderboard

In the end, completing the game just isn’t overly difficult. As someone who would consider themself a “gamer” but who has a little 2d platforming experience, I was able to clear the tower with a few deaths on my first day. Even with the ramped up difficulty in the later regions of the tower, Tokoyo is generous enough with revives that most players are guaranteed to clear it, although sacrificing their score to do so. Upon death, you can choose to revive or end the run and select a message for the gravestone you leave behind – some are just basically voicing indignation, some are weirdly specific and relevant advice for the floor, and some are a statement that somehow forces you to take a moment and self-reflect over life as a whole. Reviving just costs some in-game currency that is earned in copious amounts for progressing through a new tower for the day.

However, completing the climb with a high ranking score is a completely different story, as the only way to attain a high score is by taking no damage, and racking up an increasing combo multiplier that only grows as you flawlessly climb higher. I’ve had some days of attaining fairly high scores and can confidently say that some high scores on the leaderboard are perfect runs of clearing 40+ floors. The daily RNG definitely affects the attainability for a perfect score, and even different tower permutations probably offer different potential max scores.

Outside of climbing the tower, the only other feature that Tokoyo offers is the boss gallery, where you can re-fight any bosses that you have encountered. This feature is definitely useful for practicing the final bosses, as some of them may even have more attacks than can be revealed in a single encounter.

Modding is supported for Tokoyo, but it’s mainly for custom characters. I didn’t personally experiment with this feature, but it seems that the library of mods is fairly small and difficult to locate, as the modding scene appears to just be a few individuals on Twitter.

Five playable characters from Tokoyo

Tokoyo: A laudable release from a solo-dev with a serious passion for precision 2d platformers and kawaii aesthetic.

From the art to the impeccable level design, and topped off with the technological centerpiece that is the daily procedural generation and community integration, I believe that saebashi has produced a wonderfully challenging and addicting platformer with no excessive frills.

Score: 7/10

Who Do You Think You Are? Bradley Whitford Review

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WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? -- "Bradley Whitford" Episode 803 -- Pictured: Bradley Whitford -- (Photo by: Tyler Kaufman/NBC)

The Latest Episode of Who Do You Think You Are? Covers the Civil War, Indiana and Everything in Between For the Ancestry of Bradley Whitford.

Bradley Whitford has been acting since before I was born. Despite that, I only discovered him pretty recently, first with his amazing role in Get Out, and later for comedies such as Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Perfect Harmony. Likewise, I didn’t know that the popular actor is also an activist determined to provide access to voting for everyone. But after this latest episode of Who Do You Think You Are?, I know quite a bit more about where Mr. Whitford came from, as well as who he is as a person.

Being born in Madison, Wisconsin is something Bradley is proud of. He comes from a big family, with 5 children. He was the last one born, and jokingly refers to the brother born right before him as “the mistake”, calling himself simply “the mistake’s friend”. That said, he feels lucky to be born when he was, since that meant his parents were a lot more relaxed, and were totally fine with his love of acting. He discovered it in a 7th grade play, and then became passionate about the arts. Many know him from West Wing, a show he was happy didn’t treat politics cynically. Many more know him for the amazing yet painful dystopian epic called The Handmaid’s Tale. But where did he come from?

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? — “Bradley Whitford” Episode 803 — Pictured: Bradley Whitford — (Photo by: Tyler Kaufman/NBC)

With his sister Ann Whitford Paul, he looks at family photos. I’ll quickly interject that I see a pattern on this show of women being the bearers of history, whereas the men are constantly newly inducted into said history. His mother Genevieve grew up in a time when women had just gotten the right to vote, and society still expected them to find fulfillment in the act of child rearing. She wasn’t happy just doing that, and instead found fulfillment in the women’s movement. Afterwards she started writing her own books, and taught Bradley the important lesson of finding one’s own voice.

Bradley’s grandma Hazel was a wellspring of love and kindness, yet despite that, he knew shockingly little about her history. With the help of Ancestry genealogist Mellissa Betts, he gets a starting point in a family tree. It shows that Hazel was born in 1887 in Nebraska. From there, he traces her line to his great great grandparents, Frederich Neu and Charlotte Schwartfuger. Fred was born in Prussia, and came over in 1846. Like Bradley, he also came from a large family. After discovering those tidbits, Brad meets Mellissa in person for more information.

The Prussia Frederich left came before a unified or democratic Germany. It was a dangerous time and era, where the citizens were saddled with an oppressive monarchy. There was no chance for social mobility, and thus the American dream drew them closer. A document shows that Frederich Neu, the son, applied for naturalization in 1854 at the age of 21. By then he was in Indiana, which had passed a law that any naturalized citizen could vote. More importantly, this happened right before the Civil War.

In the D.C. National Archives, Bradley meets with Dr. Joseph Beilen with one question in mind – what side of the war did Frederich fight on? To his great relief, he finds Frederich fought for the Union in the 83rd Union Infantry in Indiana. More interesting, brothers John and Valentine joined up at the same time he enlisted, a common practice back then. Better yet, many German immigrants were appalled by slavery, and thus fought ferociously to bring the Confederacy to an end. They were a big part of the campaign to take the Mississippi river away from the Confederate forces. Which takes Bradley to Vicksburg next.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? — “Bradley Whitford” Episode 803 — Pictured: Bradley Whitford (right) — (Photo by: Tyler Kaufman/NBC)

His guide there is ranger John Castaldo. At the national military park in Vicksburg, Bradley is front and center where a pivotal Civil War battle took place. Ulysses S. Grant wanted to avoid a long siege, and so tried to strike the Confederate stronghold fast and avoid a longwinded campaign. All three Neu brothers were there, two as corporals and one as a private. The corporals were tasked to motivate the men and keep them fighting, which turned out to be a difficult job. Because things did not go as Grant was hoping.

It was a bloody and hard battle, and they were ill equipped for the task at hand. Frederich and his brothers got trapped on the battlefield, and only managed to slip away under cover of darkness. Days later, Grant ordered them to try once more with the proper equipment, but they still couldn’t get the job done. Worse, the dead and wounded were left to rot on the battlefield, surely a disheartening sight. Finally Grant had to do what he was trying to avoid, and laid siege to Vicksburg from May until July 1st, when Confederate forces finally surrendered.

Despite happening at about the same time as the Battle of Gettysburg and arguably being more pivotal, this battle got less press and prestige. The war lasted another 2 years after that. It’s clear Bradley is emotionally affected by the history he’s learned, and rooting for all three brothers to survive the duration of the conflict. To that end, he heads to the Old Court House to meet with Dr. Susannah Ural.

Here we get some fascinating historical documents. One shows that the 83rd Union Infantry were prevented from voting in the presidential election, and remarked that their own legislature were sympathizers of the Confederates, and opposed to Lincoln. It’s strongly implied they were disenfranchised by their own state, and 90% of the unit signed a petition in opposition. They were radically engaged, a mirror image of Bradley’s own efforts striving to maintain democracy.

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? — “Bradley Whitford” Episode 803 — Pictured: Bradley Whitford — (Photo by: Tyler Kaufman/NBC)

Finally, Mr. Whitford heads to Nebraska and meets with Dr. Nathan Tye at the G.A.R. (Grand Army of the Republic) Hall for more details after the war. Remarkably he finds all three brothers survived the war, but afterwards they went separate ways. An 1870 census shows Frederich became a successful farmer and father to 9 children, while Valentine stayed in Indiana and John floated about. G.A.R. was a support and political advocacy group that likely helped Fred find the brotherhood he was suddenly without. He had a long and good life, and died in 1910. He lived the American dream, which was hard won. Luckily his success meant Bradly got a chance to live his life, and the episode ends with him crying proud tears at Fred’s gravestone.

Another touching and emotional episode of Who Do You Think You Are? Bradley Whitford came out a more whole soul after learning about his ancestors, and saw the rough draft of his own passions in their struggle. Tune back next week for what’s sure to be a fascinating deep dive into the ancestry of Zachary Quinto!

Gen Con 2022: The Great American Mail Race 

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great american mail race boardgame

A love letter to America’s postal service, The Great American Mail Race is a board game based on the historically surprising delivery methods of the USPS, including the use of guided rockets and a mule.

On February 23rd, 1936 two rocket propelled airplanes were launched from NY to NJ across the historical Greenwood lake, less than 100 yards away. The event took place twenty years before the first Sputnik cosmonaut mission and was set an entire decade before the age of missiles began in the US military. It was a pioneering moment for rocket science. Surprisingly, the US postal delivery service sold collectible stamps commemorating the event because, in fact, both of these rockets were loaded with US Postage. The Greenwood Lake rocket mission was the beginning of a rocket delivery service for the USPS, an effort that ultimately didn’t come to fruition.

Surprising, this isn’t the first strangely innovative attempt that the USPS used regarding the transportation of mail. Since its inception, the postal service has utilized the services of planes, trains, hovercrafts, automobiles, boats, ferries, helicopters, subways, bicycles, and since the 1930s, pack mules to get across mountainous or indigenous terrain where other vehicles couldn’t. This is the focal point of The Great American Mail Race board game. A 2-4 player cross-country experience about postal delivery released by Big Potato games.

The Workprint got the chance to sit down and talk with Massimo Alessio Zeppetelli, the marketing head of Big Potato Games. He shared with us how The Great American Mail Race brought to life the best of the USPS, surprisingly revealed to be the statistically most-beloved brand in America, beating out such names such as Chipotle, Nike, and even Google.

“I think kids love the USPS because they love seeing their postal worker delivering mail,” said Zeppetelli regarding the game’s popularity at GenCon 2022. “It’s very exciting for them and is a big reason why the age range is 10 and up. Being at GenCon, it’s really interesting seeing the age scope as the kids love going into the mail truck.”

With GenCon 2022 back and bigger than ever, it was pretty amazing seeing the return of all sorts of fun events and games. The Great American Mail Race, available at the Big Potato Booth 3019, was unique in that it was definitely an event for the family.

Sponsored by the actual USPS, many postal workers dropped by as the game was a genuine tribute to the hardworking laborers in the service, and even featured an actual refurbished Postal Service Truck. Visitors could take photo ops in the truck with their kids along with trying out different mail-person attire.

The Race For Delivering Mail Is Surprisingly Fun. With a High Board Game Geek Score and Mechanics That Are Easy To Learn for 30-Minute Games.

 

In the Great American Mail Race, 2-4 players have the goal of delivering mail across the US using different modes of transportation. The object is straightforward: at the end of the game, the player who delivers the most mail scores the most points and wins. 

What’s unique about the points system is that progress is actually tracked with an old school mailbox stamp. Postage can vary across the map from letters, parcels, and postcards, with bonus stack points for delivering mail on the same day or in different regions. 

The board shows a traditional map of the United States but with very untraditional names of different cities and towns set in each state such as Bald Head, Whynot, or Castle Danger. Traversal begins with the lowest forms of transport, which then progress as time goes on into other modalities of transport such as mules, hot air balloons, four-by-fours, and even a rocket. 

Because everyone is trying to deliver as much mail as possible, if a player interacts and passes a another player (two can never share the same space), that person can actually ‘assist’ in delivering a package by taking that player’s package away to finish their route as they’re operating faster (basically, it’s a steal mechanic). The game ends when all the cards are used up and final points get tallied.

“I’m personally really excited and confident in this game as there’s a lot of hype and people generally interested,” remarked Zeppetelli regarding expected success for the game. “People like it and don’t see it as just a gimmick as we worked really hard to make it really good. All the early signs of interest are really strong so i think it’s going to be an engaging successful game.”

The Great American Mail Race is appropriate for people ages 10 and up and requires two to four players for a play through. It sells for $34.99 and is available exclusively at Target.com.

What We Do In The Shadows Recap: Private School

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I never wanted children.

I see them as a siphon of many things. Money. Time. Energy.

The rewards can be in excess if you choose to have them, no matter the process. You might be team Journey or team Destination, but a child’s going to be a child, no matter how much you try to wrangle them in, and there’s no Rosetta Stone for kids.

It is in the fifth episode of What We Do In The Shadows (FX) titled “Private School” where sometimes it takes a village to raise one… or maybe find their own in it.

At the vampire residence, Baby Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) is running amok like it’s his second life’s goal. From waking up Nandor (Kayvan Novak) mid-slumber to breaking toys and setting the box en flambe, he’s figuring out things.

While everybody in the house thinks this bundle of napalm that crawled out of the chest cavity of Colin Robinson is an energy suck, Laszlo (Matt Berry) believes he’s anything but a bore, refusing to see what’s right before him: energy drainage doesn’t only exist in the one form, just ask any parent.

In fact, Laszlo is so invested in the vibrancy the boy emanates, that he believes a future artist may be walking (or running, sword in hand) in their midst.

Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) suggests enrolling him in school, so that he may burn off the energy around his peers, but Laszlo refuses, as he believes no child is even in the ballpark to his equal.

Tossing in his two cents, Nandor suggests sending Baby Colin to a performing arts academy: tutelage that engages the active mind.

While not a bad idea, the crew isn’t focusing on the message but rather on the messenger. Something is off about him, and they can’t quite put their finger on it. He looks as if he’s been baked through one of those free phone filters.

Though Guillermo is steadfast in sending him to public school, as he went there, Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) suggests a very selective private school to save the chap the shame of rubbing shoulders with the hoi polloi.

However, despite her believing they can afford a private institution on account of the club’s nightly windfall, Guillermo insists as bookkeeper they aren’t exactly Scrooge McDucking it. In fact, all profits are supposed to go to what crumbling roof they have over their heads.

Las knows the easy fix is for Nan to use his djinn (Anoop Desai) to fix the whole kit and kaboodle but he’s only met with a “legally” not possible dodge.

They can all see through him, or maybe they’re just squinting their eyes too hard to figure out what the shit is going on with his look and his djinn’s purpose to serve his master the ‘Gram.

At the nightclub, Baby Colin Robinson’s version of “Meet Me Tonight In Dreamland” is brought to a halt in favor of him jumping to a table of child-like vampires. He’s fervently curious about their thoughts on the new MrBeast video, but they are 143 years young.

The incident has Laszlo changing his tune, opening up dialogue for schooling. With Guillermo presenting the house with some brochures, everybody seems to somewhat be on the same page (even if a freshly eye-lifted Nandor can’t see it.)

Before talks can commence, however, an answer might have presented itself in the form of neighbor Sean (Anthony Atamanuik) carrying a petulant Baby Colin. That corporeal cherry bomb had grown tired of his water-logged basement and set sail for new walls to land his mighty ball-peen hammer.

Sean recommends sending the kid to Helen Country Day School. With him being an alumn and having an in with the headmaster, Laszlo without hesitation is sold.

The next night, the crew is off to a stirring start of replicating human normalcy. Nadja looks like she’s just come from a Zombies concert, Nandor- a zoot suit riot, and Laszlo a Hot Topic circa Limp Bizkit. I mean, ya can’t give them one for trying.

Changing, save for Nadja, Sean arrives with Headmaster Warren (Peter Francis James). Donning his stage wear, Baby Colin makes a scripted introduction before being scurried off to bed. Now the interview with the vampires may commence.

The first question is veritable softball: who are the parents?

Flustered, Nadja puts Sean and Warren temporarily under to figure out their next step. Since Laszlo introduced himself as the uncle beforehand, Nandor, however silly the pairing (and his jacked-up face) looks, the screening continues and the first pairing is presented.

With Nandor playing the role of ‘Matthew’, Sean looks slightly confused as he knows that Laszlo and Nadja are married, so another snap of the fingers prompts another switcheroo, making the Relentless the Groundskeeper and Laszlo hubby once more.

After regaling the story of adoption to Warren, another flicker of Nadja’s finger and Nandor’s suggestion to be more unorthodox has him and Laszlo posing as the gay parents… the very sexually expressive two dads. Very. Expressive.

Sean thinking Guillermo a homophobe because he whispered to Nadja warrants another Snap!

When asked about Colin in general, Guillermo swoops in with a few tidbits. Snap!

At the risk of appearing as absentee guardians who let their nanny do all the work, Guillermo’s now the single father.

All seems back on track until Warren mentions a famous parent “that’s been in more than a few Law & Order” episodes whose child attends the school. Just say it with me, folks… Snap!

Nadja’s accusing the poor administrator of being a ‘starfucker’ in the pure roll call sense and two hours later, Impractical Joker’s Sal Vulcano is on the couch, staring at the Headmaster, going along with the joke (anything for SAG minimum!) but as soon as Sean doesn’t recognize Nandor, Snap! goes Nadja and SNAP! goes hubby to the Tenderloin. His funny blood will not go to waste.

Guillermo figures it’s just easier to hypnotize the headmaster into letting Colin in, but both they all stupidly see the long game as the only course of action.

So much for cutting out the ridiculousness! (Dyrdek’s next, I assure you.)

This includes almost Monkees tv show comedy permutations ending with dead Sal Vulcano and a skunk as the couple before Laszlo calls it quits.

Suffering migraines, Warren and Sean call it a night, but the last matter of attending to is Colin’s transcripts.

Before a percussive meeting of Nadja’s thumb and middle can occur, Guillermo promises them on the headmaster’s desk by the next day.

Such was accomplished by him bribing a former guidance counselor to falsify them.

This was all done in cash. He’s got a bit of drip now as well, rocking the gold watch, new digs including some bomb ass Nike’s.

Curious, the camera crew follows him from a distance to a blood-red Jeep before he drives off.

They tail him all the way to an apartment as appliances are unloaded.

Guillermo hugs his mother Silvia (Myrna Cabello) before he notices the camera.

As a resident bookkeeper, Guillermo’s been ‘skimming’ from the top, though he insists, it’s not stealing- it’s simply providing for his family which he has two of!

My dude missed 3 of his mother’s last birthdays, so I think a little wiggle room can be paved.

Though a fat stack momentarily left with the cameraman wasn’t enough to break the code, Gizmo’s asserting power.

Woefully, after all the frustration, Baby Colin did not get in. Something about Headmaster Warren suffering a massive stroke hours after the interview might have played a part.

Most humans can only take 7 hypnosis in an hour… this poor bastard withstood 428.

The easier and cheaper option was there all along, though, with them ultimately enrolling Sonic in a boy’s body to every community sports league imaginable, some, one after the other so that by nightfall, the tyke’s too pooped to even get up from his bed.

As for Nandor looking like Jocelyn Wildenstein, a wish to return to normalcy is far more attractive, even though the process ironically was for his bride-to-be.

With the slight jape by ‘hubby Laszlo’ to Nandor’s regular visage, his roommate promises there will be no reaming tonight, even if his fake beloved scratches at his door like a “horny little squirrel, looking to bury his nuts.”

Speaking of, in a slight departure from other episodes, we get a little mid-credits tease, seeing Guillermo present Nadja with the night’s haul and her stash the cash.

Hey, physician, heal thyself… or in both cases, pay thyself.

Though not strictly a bottle episode, this was a nice median to Nandor’s wedding.

It takes a village, but then begs the question of when the village acts like children, who will step up?

With this being the mid-point, I believe this will provide the spark of a flash point.

Hey, who didn’t want fireworks at their nuptials?

‘Celebrity Beef’ Review (Pilot): It’s Pretty Lean

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Rachel Harris, Joel McHale, and Cheryl Hines at the table for Celebrity Beef
CELEBRITY BEEF -- ““Rachael Harris v. Cheryl Hines” Episode 101” Episode 101 -- Pictured: (l-r) Rachael Harris, Joel McHale, Cheryl Hines -- (Photo by: Becky Sapp/E! Entertainment)

Former The Soup host goes sous vide in this celebrity cooking competition

Celebrity Beef is a new cooking competition show on E! The premise is that two celebrities who are feuding will settle their differences by cooking. Whoever makes the best dish wins, and their charity gets some money. Hosted and judged by Joel McHale, Celebrity Beef is… okay. Aggressively okay. 

I’m a big McHale fan, going back to his days on The Soup and his starring role on Community. I’ve enjoyed his other hosting gigs on shows like the new Card Sharks and Crime Scene Kitchen, so I was looking forward to this. However, it all feels very slapdash and lazy.

So first off, the “Beefs” aren’t particularly beefy. We aren’t talking Drake vs Meek Mill here or Kanye vs Pete Davidson. The first episode features Cheryl Hines (Curb Your Enthusiasm) beefin’ with her best friend Rachael Harris (Lucifer). Their feud? The “beef” that compelled them to hash it out on national TV? Cheryl thinks Rachael complains too much, and Rachael says she’s just assertive and Cheryl doesn’t appreciate it when her complaints fix a problem. Whoa, better hide the knives. 

CELEBRITY BEEF — “Rachael Harris v. Cheryl Hines” Episode 101 — Pictured: (l-r) Rachael Harris, Joel McHale, Cheryl Hines — (Photo by: Becky Sapp/E! Entertainment)

To settle this generational feud, the two friends have to bake cupcakes. Are there any special ingredients or instructions? Like, make a cupcake with squid ink or decorate it to look like Joel’s hair? Nah. Just make a cupcake in an hour. And Joel kibbitzes while they do it. 

It’s all amusing enough, but the show has zero stakes and has a hard time justifying its existence. Even Joel seems a little bored with it. At one point, Cheryl Hines loses a challenge and the penalty is to finish her cupcakes while handcuffed to the host. However, it doesn’t last very long. Joel uncuffs himself, saying “I got tired of my bit. That’s the first time I ever got tired of my bit before anyone else did.”

It’s just Joel and the beefers on stage, with the occasional cutaway to a stone-faced floor director. The show would really benefit from a studio audience or even a few other celebrity judges. Maybe have their mutual friends or co-stars weigh in on the beef and judge the cooking. Right now, the jokes just drop into the emptiness of the studio, with only the competitors laughing at them. 

This show occupies an odd space. Joel McHale isn’t as snarky or funny as he was on The Soup, the concept isn’t as inventive as something like Crime Scene Kitchen, and the cooking challenges lack the spark of shows like Chopped or Nailed It! It’s fine as something you land on while channel surfing or something that comes on after E!’s block of Modern Family reruns, but nothing I’d seek out on purpose. As something to chill out with on a hot summer night, it’s perfectly okay.