Preacher Final Episode: Episode 10- Bande à part

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September 25, 2019

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Final Fantasy VIII Remastered Ultimecia in her final form — The Final In-Game Battle. All image credits my own in-game screenshots.

An angsty teen at a school for mercenaries graduates and gets contracted by a small-town rebel leader whom he immediately falls smitten with, mere days before he is assigned to assassinate a magical sorceress turned national ambassador. Whom, after a failed global coup, causes the next world war; where our hero must now lead his school of amnesic child soldiers with magical abilities, called SeeDs, into a battle against an entire continental army, the sorceress, and her knight. Who just also happens to be our heroic teen’s longtime bully and mercenary school rival.

But along the way, we follow also follow the chronicles of a warmhearted yet dimwitted Antonio Banderas look-alike and his accidental campaign to become president of the most powerful technological nation on the planet. We also discover that almost everyone in the world is an orphan that SeeDs magical ability-granting monster pets, known as GFs — though not your girlfriend — have been secretly eating away at its user’s memories. That for some reason, people think can be fixed through the power of friendship and love.

But none this ultimately matters, because the real threat is a titillating time-traveling sorceress from the future named Ultimecia, who is destined to battle these specific six teenagers we’ve been following throughout the game, in a final confrontation for all human existence…

This is the storyline of Final Fantasy VIII.

Honestly, it’s pretty ridiculous. Still, I loved this story very much as a kid, even if its second half was a bit… everywhere. And though Squall being dead after disk one is now a debunked, yet almost better fan theory, explaining some of the convoluted plots of the game, I absolutely loved revisiting this story.

FFVIII Revisited: Act One, Love, and Relationships

The most memorable parts of Final Fantasy VIII are hands down in its first act. Why? Well, there’s a fast-paced plot to graduate, an immediate evil Sorceress to confront, and a budding romantic love story that juggles that in-betweeners period of adolescent romance to adulthood. All while examining the moral quandaries about living the of a mercenary during times of war.

We see this world through the eyes of Squall, a gifted but isolated soldier who is complacent in following orders. Squall is mostly content in brooding in his own unexpressed feelings. Though this changes upon meeting Rinoa, a very open, independent, and oddly democratic young woman. Thus the opposite of Squall. The two develop a relationship over the events in the game that eventually leads to love.

Putting away the Sorceress and Soldier plots aside, VIII is really a story all about relationships. It’s about Squall’s intrinsic journey of learning to connect with other people. Heck, even The Guardian Force, or GF, is an obvious play-off the acronym for girlfriend, whose growth progress requires forming a bond and relational compatibility.

Looking back, this might be the most love-triangle upon love-triangle tale ever told in final fantasy history. Irvine crushes on Selphie, Zell is semi-dating the Library girl with the pigtails (they even have their own ‘Lost In Translation’ in-game lovequest), Quistis has a fan club of admirers despite her confusing romantic longings over Squall; our hero, whom as we all-know, is very much in love with Rinoa. Who coincidentally, is a girl who is implied to be, at their first meeting, originally Seifer’s… fling together of last Summer.

There’s also Edea and Cid, Laguna and Raine, who after a failed romance between Laguna and Julia… led to the theme song ‘Eyes on Me’ and the settling into the arms of General Caraway, Rinoa’s father. Heck, almost every storyline in this game is tied to some sort of contrived and convoluted romantic plot! All meant for teenage angsty awkward nerds, though mostly, pandering to young pubescent boys of the era (of which I was one) who were trying to understand the opposite sex for the first time.

I talked about the excess borderline nudity in my initial review, but there are also, the naughty magazines referenced twice in the game. Highlighted by the character, Zone who is a rebel leader with IBS and a perverted obsession for Quistis. Upon second meeting he talks about looking for the ‘Girl Next Door’ dirty magazine, and just so happens to be holding onto the rare Shiva card, the FFVIII GF that’s an almost totally naked blue girl.

Atop of this, there’s also a large degree of cliched chivalry throughout the series. Knights and sorceress are often referenced and Rinoa is called ‘The Princess’ by both the Forrest Owls and Quistis herself. This nickname, of course, is usually followed alongside Squall’s titled as Knight, who’s teased as being Rinoa’s prince/knight often throughout the story. First, when he’s given the duty to wake her at the Forrest Owl’s base, and later, when he carries her across the FH.

It’s cheesy and romantic, though, given Squall’s heritage… also fits his family’s backstory.

Speaking of which…

I Didn’t Realize Laguna was Squall’s father until 10 Years Later

Yes, I’m serious. At age 12 this was game was cute. But replaying at age 22, this revelation was life-changing to me as a major fanboy. The hints are peppered everywhere throughout the game, though it takes some degree of maturity, to really see Laguna for what he is.

If you look at the waiting room at the Esthar Presidential Palace, above the entrance is a painting of the town center of Winhill. It’s Laguna’s favorite little place in the world where he lived, briefly with Raine, and their (basically) adopted daughter Ellone.

Laguna’s fondness of that place and time, along with the final scenes of the game, is where we learn that Raine and Laguna were in fact married. This is critical because, throughout the game, Ellone keeps sending Squall into the past as Laguna, to try and get him to stay in Winhill to care for his child (Squall) with Raine. It also explains why Elle saw Squall as her little brother at the orphanage, as Laguna acted as Ellone’s father. The two, are in distant ways, actual step-siblings.

There are also a couple of clues just in comparing their character traits.

Squall has lots of Raine’s physical features, her hair, her stubbornness, and her own brush-off the issue ‘Whatever…’ type of mannerisms. Though the most noticeable clue is obviously in their names. As Raine and Squall are both characteristics of a powerful storm.

Coincidentally, Squall’s first GFs are natural storm elements too, being ice and thunder.

Comparing Squall and Laguna, they’re both charismatic leaders. Men willing to care for others and stand up for those in need. Physically, both men have pretty expressive eyes that are their most noticeably attractive features. Particularly, to both Julia (with Laguna) and Rinoa (with Squall) Heartily. It is slightly weird also that both father and son seemed to have fallen in love with the same mother and daughter of that same exact line. In a very destiny or chemistry type of approach to romance.

The biggest giveaway is that Laguna holds Squall’s triple Triad Card as it’s the only picture of his son that he has. Also, as a DNA test, the little Moomba Lions at the D-Strict Prison? The first thing they say after licking Squall’s wounds? Not Squall… but…

“Laguna”

But Why Are They So Different?

The difference really, between both men, is mostly pride. As Laguna has very little of it while Squall has a great deal. His favorite animal is the Lion, a creature of great strength and pride symbolized, and later confronted, as the GF Griever.

At the final battle against Ultimecia, a somewhat cathartic moment of, “Defeat your own pride, let go of your ego!” line of dialogue was lost in the English translation during the battle against Griever. As Squall was meant to vanquish a recreation of what he saw as the ultimate power in the universe: his ego.

Laguna, on the other hand, if you’re lucky enough to finish the FH and Shumi Village quests by endgame, is quite the opposite. Literally groveling and humbling himself for the sake of peace rather often. He’s more a man of words and compassion, well-loved by the Shumi’s, and the Moombas, especially. For it’s these major differences in personality that serve as red herrings in the game. The reveal being that Laguna and Raine were married and the impact late-game implied connecting the idea that Laguna is Squall’s father.

The Story Is Darker Than I Recalled

One of the great things about replaying the remastered version is that everything has much more intricate details. This made me focus even more on this playthrough, which made me realize something big: that the story was much darker than how it presented itself. Here are some things I noticed in this playthrough:

Edea murders the president in front of a large crowd of cheering sycophants. And they cheer her for it.
There are bullet holes in Ellone’s house implying that her parents were likely murdered there.
Trabia Garden was hit directly by missiles. There’s almost nothing left and there is a vast recently filled series of headstones out in the back.
Immediately after the clash between the Gardens, while traversing an emptier Balamb garden, you find out from one of the students outside the Quads that both Garden and the Galbadia had severe casualties. Most of the students had either dropped out or died.
That the Lunar Cry destroyed Centra, a once flourishing civilization. This hints that the great technological city of Esthar should suffer the same fate given it’s underneath a Lunar Cry right as the game ends.
That Tiamat is likely Bahamut from a future timeline. The once legendary King of the GFs is now slave to Sorceress Ultimecia, just like everyone else.

Seriously, the casualties of wars are severely underplayed in this game. It also conveniently explains why Balamb Garden isn’t seen much at all late in the game. Most of SeeD and Garden are dead at this point.

Why I Love Final Fantasy VIII

I wrote this feature knowing that I’d likely never play this game ever again. Realistically, this game is not on the priority list for Square Enix to remake anytime soon. I’m also trying to game less these days and so playing through this remaster marks the end of an actual part of my childhood. So, I thought I’d send it off by attempting a perfect run. I missed it by a single Occult Fan IV. Though, that’s okay. I enjoyed the journey.

Like many, I loved this game mostly because of its fond memories. Like, how at Pizza Hut, they used to hand out the SeeD test levels with a Playstation demo disk and how I’d gotten one on Halloween. I remember, spending the night indoors while the other kids, outside trick-or-treating, spent the evening causing mischief with friends; while here I was, aged 12, fighting monsters indoors and uninvited.

Final Fantasy VIII was my first final fantasy. My only friend. I didn’t know know how long the game would stay with me. How tiny details follow you over time and throughout influences. How Triple Triad would begin this affinity for card games, board games, and anything tabletop-related. And how my love of hotdogs, which are easily one of my favorite guilty pleasure foods, was oddly reminiscent of the popular hotdogs at Balamb garden.

How, not only did I turn out to be a writer, much like Laguna Loire, but that I also had a pretty bad romantic hang-up with a girl, aptly named Julia, and whose textbook romance was somewhat similar to Laguna’s… a lifetime ago.

Final Fantasy VIII taught me that you can say a lot with a simple look and a feeling. That to care, means to express yourself and your opinions openly, and not be pretentious about it by bottling up emotions inside. That you shouldn’t live a life of unspoken regret because you don’t know who may not live through the battle the next day. That magic is real, limits can be broken, and GFs are very nice things, though shouldn’t always, fully occupy my mind. That it is alright to call out and trust in a friend. Especially, when you’re lost, in memories, or in time, or worse, situations where you have nowhere else to turn. That it’s okay to be vulnerable and it’s okay to let down one’s pride and somebody else in…

That’s just called loving someone.

Final Fantasy was my recluse. My escape. My stress relief from the weight of the world as an awkward 12-year-old before the turn of the century. When girls and school and friends and Y2K meant that at any moment, the world could end because everything at that age seemed to make the world end. Everything seemed to matter so much for no reason.

Finally, I take away from this final run, one last lesson.

Love Stories

I don’t think there’ll ever be enough stories about love. Not always in that grand romantic sense, but just in that intangible ineffable… something. The magic of how there is something special in the other. That the emotion, intention, and care? It’s ineffable. Hard to pin down past the blurred lines of romance. Boundaries of the other begin to form and end with one another. Of relationships surely, but also, something much more. Final Fantasy 8 is a story of love lost, love found, love unrequited, and the potential of that which was but could never truly be…

I think romance is a powerful theme in any sort of story. The acceptance of the self through the eye of the other is a powerful theme. One that’s adapted into so many variants and subjects, mostly because the meanings behind it are beautiful; yet also, ever-changing.

Love is beautiful.

And it’s strange that my first idea of love and romance came from a videogame. That experience absolutely made me a hopeless romantic, and like all great moments, had stayed with me for a lifetime.

‘Prodigal Son’ Review: The Second Coming of the First Son

By

Norton

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September 25, 2019

Jesus is back ya’ll! I’m not talking the savior of mankind, that’s neither here nor there, I’m talking about the savior of The Walking Dead. And he gets to embody a whole different biblical figure this time around.

For those of you who don’t know it let’s do a very quick recap of the biblical tale from which Prodigal Son gets its name. Basically, there’s a father who has two sons. One asks for his inheritance and goes out into the world and wastes it only to return destitute and humbled – fully expecting to be chewed out for being a douchebag, but is instead welcomed with open arms and fanfare! The other son stays home, works hard, is for all intents and purposes “perfect”. He resents his little brother getting parties and praise while he gets jack squat. The bottom line of the story is that dad is happy that the younger son has returned – “he was lost and now he is found”. Must be nice. I’m pretty sure if I took off with a large sum of money, wasted it, and then came home, I’d get a well-deserved beating (ok, fine, realistically a bunch of “I told you so’s”).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26C6JqBdb20

Prodigal Son sets up to take this concept in an interesting direction. Tom Payne plays Malcom Bright (an alias established to separate himself from his father’s notorious legacy), the title family member. He’s an FBI profiler who, wait for it…has a serial killer father! He’s not the normal kind of wasteful, though he is impulsive. Towards the beginning of our pilot, we watch Malcom lose his job because he punches a local sheriff in the face…for shooting a suspect who was clearly cooperating (granted, said suspect was a serial killer). He’s also fired because he seems a bit too trigger happy when jumping into dangerous situations, with seemingly little regard for himself or his fellow officers. Impulse control issues? Lack of fear? A clear disregard for the law? Check, check, and check! You might be a sociopath if…

But where’s the other son? Surprise! It’s 2019; he’s a daughter now! Hi, Halston Sage! I didn’t recognize you without your Orville makeup on. Not that it matters, poor Malcom’s sister, Ainsley Whitly (a reporter who, despite being in the public eye, does not change her last name), is largely ignored by her family. Guess that fits with the story fairly well. Their mother – played by Scandal’s Bellamy Young – calls her “perfect” therefore in no need of intervention (like when mom breaks into Malcom’s apartment after he’s fired), and dear old serial killer dad, played by Michael Sheen looking every bit the upside-down version of Mr. Rogers – complete with sweater vest and perfect manners, doesn’t even mention her once in the entire pilot. Ouch.

Speaking of which, I breezed through a few details there that require expansion. First off, the bible story never mentions a mom, and it’s clear the creators of this show aren’t exactly sure what to do with Jessica Whitly – she seems to be a cross between Lorelai’s mom on the Gilmore Girls and Michael’s mom on Arrested Development – ie. Rich, detached, funny, yet caring? And of course, always drugged or drunk. Meanwhile, our father in question is a serial killer. A “predatory sociopath” as Malcom puts it – though looking up the differences between the two his father seems a lot more like a psychopath save for his love for his son. And perhaps that’s the most important aspect of this whole set up that makes it want to fit the mold.

You have to figure, bible dad was super in love with his kid, and heartbroken when he took his inheritance and flew the coop. Sure, he had his other son, but if you ignore the parable aspect of the story (which is just designed to reassure people no matter what you’ll always be welcomed back into the fold), it’s clear there’s a favorite. And in this show, Malcom is clearly the favorite. We find out, at the end of the pilot, that Malcom is the one who called the cops and got his dad caught. Through flashbacks we discover that up until his graduating year of college (assumedly) he’d been visiting his dad in prison. But, upon revealing that he’s joining the FBI, and subsequently abandoning his dad to rot in jail, it becomes obvious just how much Dr. Martin Whitly has missed his beloved son. Hell, it’s hinted at (basically just outright said and confirmed) that Martin orchestrates the pilot killer’s existence in order to lure his son back to his cell.

Outside of the bible story skeleton, the rest of the show is set up as your run of the mill monster-of-the-week procedural. Complete with quirky (though not visually and I have to say it’s a relief) M.E. Dr. Edrisa Guilfoyle (Gilmore Girls alum Keiko Agena), loving father-figure fill-in Gil Arroyo (Hi, Lou Diamond Phillips, we’ve missed you!), skeptic hard-nosed detective JT Tarmel (Frank Harts), and equally hard-nosed yet still a potential love-interest detective Dani Powell (Aurora Perrineau). It also plays out as such. The colors are muted, “The Surgeon” (psycho Mr. Rogers’ cool serial killer name) is a living legend, and somehow a person with Malcom’s background and psychological profile has only just now been fired from the FBI. 10 years! He somehow managed to spend 10 years working for them without enough of an incident to get fired!? Seriously!?

But what if that’s no accident? Serial killers are notorious for hiding in plain sight. Is that perhaps another layer to this show? For a pilot, Prodigal Son is pretty heavy-handed yet not without real potential. My rule has always been to give a show three episodes. Never judge a show on the pilot. If, after three episodes you’re still not into it, then move on. Don’t get me wrong, some shows have a rough first season, but even they were largely watchable after the first three offerings. I’ll be giving Prodigal Son its due.

FFVIII Remastered: Tips and Tricks

By

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September 24, 2019

https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ps/197343-final-fantasy-viii/faqs/51741

Squall letting off his limit break: Renzokuken — Image Credit Square Enix and my own Screenshots.

Final Fantasy VIII Remastered may be an upgrade to a nostalgic classic, but its unique junction system is not the easiest to learn given the poor in-game tutorials.

To help, here are some helpful general game tips as well as some tricks for veteran players seeking to do a perfect run.

Quistis in FFVIII Remastered — It’s a Quistis Lesson Time

General Tips

Always Junction your GFs

Your active party should have every GF junctioned. Your GFs are what make your character special and the ABILITIES learned mean more than the attack of the GF itself.

Master the Menu Abilities

You should always refine better items and magic in the ability menu. Early CARD MOD or MID MAG-RF (both from Quetzalcoatl) help tremendously before the SeeD field exam.

Play Triple Triad

Refining Triple Triad cards are the best way to get high powered items to turn into magic. It’s also the best way to gain some of the rarest items in the game.

You can start playing Triple Triad immediately. There’s even access to some of the rarest cards in the game at the beginning in Balamb Garden, as the kid running laps around Garden has the rare Mini-Mog card and the Trepe Groupie at the back of the Cafeteria has the ultra-rare Quistis card.

Prevent Card Rules from spreading

A big reason Triple Triad works is that you’ll have access to stronger cards over most opponents just through in-game progression. This is not the case if you must play with a RANDOM hand caused by the RANDOM card hand rule in Dollet or Trabia.

If your opponent asks to combine rules, deny them, and re-challenge until they stop.

Never Level Grind

FFVIII monsters scale to your team’s level as you progress. It’s very easy to over-level someone in this system, which is why it’s oddly better to avoid battles until you can unlock certain stat bonuses from GFs.

If you do end up battling lots of monsters, try carding them instead. CARD is one of the most powerful abilities in-game. Use it on a monster at half HP and you’ll turn it into a card. You gain no EXP but keep all the AP.

A great place to AP grind early is the beach outside of Balamb fighting Fastitocalon-F’s. You gain 6AP a battle and will have lots of fish fins to convert into mid-level water magic at the very beginning of the game.

Utilize the Stat Bonus GFs

You can gain bonus stats every level up through the following GFs.

STR+1: Ifrit, after learning STR+40%
MAG+1: Siren, after learning MAG+40%
VIT+1: Carbuncle, after learning VIT+40%
SPR+1: Leviathan, after learning SPR+40%
HP+30: Brothers, after learning HP+80%
All Stat Bonuses: Cactuar, learnt immediately.

To Gain Cactuar You Must Defeat Jumbo Cactuar on Cactuar island

The Best Magic Junctions

You can gain the best junction stats from the following spells.

HP: Ultima (+6000), Full-Life (+4800), Meteor (+4600)
Strength: Ultima (+100), Meteor (+75), Triple & Aura (+70 for each)
Vitality: Ultima (+82), Meltdown & Full-Life (+80 for each), Regen (+70)
Magic: Ultima (+100), Triple (+70), Pain (+60)
Spirit: Ultima (+95), Full-Life (+85), Reflect (+72)
Speed: Triple (+70), Ultima (+60), Haste (+50)
Evasion: Ultima (+60), Triple (+40), Tornado (+32)
Hit %: Triple (+150), Ultima (+60), Aura (+50)
Luck: Ultima (+60), Aura & Pain (+40 for each), Death (+38)

The Best Magic Locations

You can obtain the best spells in the game in the following places.

Full-Life: Draw from Tonberry King in Centra ruins (Party must be LVL 30) or Bahamut at the Deep Sea Research Center.
Meltdown: Card refine or steal Mystery Fluids from Gayla’s all along Trabia continent.
Reflect: Draw from Wedge in D-Strict Prison. Can also Supt Mag-RF (Leviathan) from Dragon Skins dropped (not mugged) by Anacondaurs (Which is a snake. Definitely a name mistake).
Triple: Draw from Cerberus in Galbadia Gardens or Odin in Centra Ruins. Both accessible in disk 2.
Aura: Supt Mag-RF (Leviathan) Fury Fragments droppable by most dragons.
Pain: Draw from Elnoyles in Esthar.
Ultima: Draw at the Shumi Village Entrance. Convert Energy Crystals from Elnoyles (Disk 3, there’s a fixed Elnoyle Encounter via a Crazed Dark Soldier at the center of Esthar City after Lunatic Pandora). You can also draw it from Ultima Weapon (WARNING, beating Ultima Weapon stops the fixed Tri-face encounters needed for a perfect run of the game).

Islands Closest to Heaven and Hell

These legendary Islands are the best place to level grind. Every monster encountered is Lvl 100 and you can draw powerful magic spells both against enemies and even straight from the ground.

Located in the Western and Easternmost islands on the world map, both are reachable by Ragnarok in disk 3. They are also easy to kill using the following limit breaks: Squall’s Renzokuken, Irvine’s AP Ammo, and Quistis’ Blue Magic: Degenerator. Just look out for Marlboro’s Bad Breath which inflicts every negative status in the game.

Special Tricks

How To Obtain a Perfect Score during the SeeD Exam

There’s an excellent guide to this on GameFAQs but for the short version:

Conduct: Evacuate Dollet during the SeeD exam with 25:00+ minutes remaining (Know where to walk versus run against X-ATM092).
Judgment: Defeat Ifrit with 0-7 seconds remaining on the timer (Just wait to finish it with seconds remaining).
Attack: Kill 75 Galbadian Soldiers during the SeeD exam (I’d use only Seifer for this).
Spirit: Escape only once during the Dollet mission. (You’re forced to run once from X-ATM092)
Attitude: This one is tricky. Basically, fully embrace being Squall and talk to NO ONE the second you put on your SeeD uniform (including Headmaster Cid before the exam). Never question Seifer’s orders just do as he says. Don’t talk to the enemy (Biggs) when he’s down. Save the dog (talk to it to move it) at the center of town from the giant spider if it passes, and most importantly: don’t jump off the cliff. Instead, walk around like the boring, respectable, anal soldier orders taker that Squall is.
Points Deducted/Bonus: This is available if you kill the X-ATM092 giant spider (Doable within the time-limit if you refined Thundaga through card games. You will lose the awesome FMV beating it though).

How to Gain Infinite Gil

First, visit the second Esthar item shop which sells special items (Johnny’s Shop). If it doesn’t open, just keep selecting it and eventually, it’ll appear. After you obtain the Tonberry GF, the store will appear as ‘Esthar Shop!!!’ under the Call Shop ability.

Second, use this store via Call Shop to buy tents and cottages.

Third, Recovery Medicine-RF (Carbuncle) the items into mega-potions.

Finally, open Esthar Shop!!! again and sell the difference for 500,000 profit. Repeat.

How to Obtain Perfect Stats with Junctions

255 is the maximum value for the base 4 stats. To max everyone, you need to optimally grind using the Stat Bonus GFs, two characters at a time (keep one KO’d), equipping nothing but bonus abilities like HP BONUS or STR BONUS.

This means one character should have Cactaur and Bahamut (who has Abilityx4). The other, should have Ifrit, Siren, Carbuncle, Leviathan, and/or Brothers, along with a GF who has learned Abilityx4. The goal is to hold off on leveling until late-game and then grind every character to LVL 100, two at a time. Personally, I did Quistis and Zell, Irvine and Selphie, and then Squall and Rinoa.

Afterwards, you can junction abilities like STR+40% or Vit+60% to reach 255.

I also like to use HP UP to 5200+ hitpoints (which with Full-Life takes you to 9999) over using the ability HP+80% as it’s the easiest of the 5 stat bonus items to grind.

How to Obtain Perfect Stats Without Junctions

It’s possible to have perfect stats for every character without using junctions. To do this, do the method above and then amass large quantities of Stat Up items. However, this method costs a lot of time using the infinite Gil trick.

Where To acquire Stat Up Items

HP UP: Buy 100x Giant’s Ring at Esthar Pet Shop and GFAbl Med-RF (Eden) it to Gaea’s Ring and Forbid Med-RF (Doomtrain) that to HP UP.
STR UP: Mod Eden’s card for 3x Monk’s Code to Forbid Med-RF to 3x STR UP.
VIT UP: Mod Minotaur’s card for 10x Adamantine. Forbid Med-RF to 2x VIT UP.
MAG UP: Buy 100x Hypno Crowd at Esthar Petshop. GFAbl Med-RF to 10 Royal Crown. Forbid Med-RF to 1x MAG UP.
SPR UP: Buy 100x Force Armlet at Esthar Petshop. GFAbl Med-RF to 10 Magic Armlet. Forbid Med-RF to 1 SPR UP.
SPD UP: Mod Irvine’s Card for 3x Rocket Engine. Forbid Med-RF 5x Rocket engine to 1 SPD UP.
LUCK UP: Convert 100 Curse Spikes (Found through Tri-Face) using Tool-RF into 1x Dark Matter. GF Abl Med-RF to 1x Luck-J. Forbid Med-RF to 1xLuck Up.

SIDE NOTE: Maxing Luck requires hundreds of Hours killing Tri-Faces. The best place is at the Deep Sea Research Center.

Rosetta Stones and Ability x4

Bahamut in FFVIII — Bahamut is the only GF that comes with Abilityx4.

Rosetta Stones are the only way to learn Abilityx4 outside of Bahamut. One is gifted to you at Cheryl’s Store located in Esthar Mall. Just keep selecting the store until it eventually opens.

However, a popular topic amongst perfection runners is farming Rosetta Stones, as the item can be refined into many powerful tools. An unlimited supply of them is available at the D-Strict Prison, where you can win them from the 11th-floor cardplayer for 200 Gil a game (The probability though is very low). There’s also this method below, which I’d never tried before.

Refining Cards from Left Diamond

To accomplish this longstanding quest, you’ll want to have finished the Chocobo Forests and Queen of Cards quest on disk 3, along with having reobtained the Ragnarok on disk 4, to pull this off.

At the end of the game, the best items and weapons come from, unsurprisingly, triple triad. You can challenge Left Diamond of the diamond Duo CC club aboard the Ragnarok.

She’ll play any rare card you’re missing in the game over-and-over so long as you are missing it. You can infinitely Card Mod ultra-rare cards into the most powerful items this way.

What most people forget about (including myself during this run) is that Left Diamond will also be playing using TRABIA’s rules, including the very annoying RANDOM rule.

Here’s a secret on how to get RANDOM abolished in disk one so that you can card mod to your heart’s content.

Perfect Run: Missable Magazines

Every magazine can be bought in Esthar except four.

Occult fan 3: Master Fisherman Quest. Talk to the Master Fisherman after crashing Balamb Garden in FH. He’s the old man in the cutscene, located below a ladder and across a long metal catwalk.

Occult fan 4: Esthar’s Presidential Aide before Lunatic Pandora. Talk to him during your first visit to the city, and then talk to another aid at the airport who’ll ask Squall how they like the city. Return to the Aide and he’ll comment on the president’s book choices, leaving behind the magazine as he walks away.

Weapon’s Monthly First Issue: During the flashback behind Doctor Odine at Lunatic Pandora while he’s discussing research. You’ll be Laguna during this part. Don’t worry about getting caught while sneaking up to him (You’re the loveable Laguna after all).

Timber Maniacs: The issue aboard the White SeeD ship. It’s located next to Zone, who’ll ask you about the ‘Girl Next Door’. You should also win the ‘Shiva’ card from him while at it.

Omega Weapon

Honestly, the only big challenge to this game is defeating Omega Weapon but I won’t spoil that for you. It is necessary to beat Omega to obtain the Lionheart Platinum trophy for PS players.

Using the secrets above it should be easy though.

Credits

Most of the information here was taken from the original GAMEFAQs walkthrough, which I personally used as a kid over a decade ago, and which I found a lot more useful than the IGN version.

For a perfect run walkthrough, I’d check out Absolute Steve’s guide below, as he’s known for his expert work and his guides had been a lifesaver back in my hardcore gaming years.

Tomorrow, I’ll be posting the last part of this FFVIII Remastered feature, where I talk about the game’s story, looking back, and just how much a video game can influence a person’s life.

Preacher Final Season: Episode 9- Divide and Conk Her

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September 23, 2019

Preacher, AMC — Joseph Gilgun as Cassidy, Ruth Negga as Tulip O'Hare, Dominic Cooper as Jesse Custer - Preacher _ Season 4, Episode 9 - Photo Credit: Lachlan Moore/AMC/Sony Pictures Television

Continuing whence last we left off, Jesse (Dominic Cooper) emerges from the bathroom, sporting the type of headgear that would have Snake Plissken nodding in approval. Tulip (Ruth Negga), ever the initiative one unrepentantly admits to Jesse that she and Cass (Joseph Gilgun) had a tryst and neither are to blame for that in his absence. Of course, being to Hell and back gives you a tinge of fucking perspective, which Jesse now possesses in spades. He loves them both and wants to help them rescue Humperdoo (Tyson Ritter). It is in this penultimate episode of the Preacher (AMC) series, “Overture” where the reeds clear, the strings pluck and the proscenium lights up as the house lights go down.

At Masada, the Grail is alight as Humperdoo is bathed, primped and primed for treading the boards. Jesus finally gets to meet his child, but that means nothing to anybody- not to the Grail and most certainly not to God. To them, the one true Christ-child is no more than a titleholder, a figurehead. The only “Stock” anybody ever ascribed to him were “answers.” Slowly, he’s catching on and you can see it in his wistful eyes. I guess knowingly being crucified wasn’t enough.. and I’ll bet ya, if we’re going on him existing in this world due to his Second Coming, I bet you he left that sepulchre because of Mary Magdalene, who was probably one of the most down ass women he knew. Hey, Huey Lewis sang it best: “That’s the power of love.”

Back where preparations are in order, we are treated to a glorious one-shot of the chaos behind the curtain as Humperdoo is lead to his dressing room, where Papa (Mark Harelik) awaits. We see a ballet company and a mime troupe to boot, making me think this is more of a Disney World Showcase before everyone is annihilated. I mean, it goddamn well beats the House of Mouse price!

Back the Holy Bar and Grail, Jesse takes his shot as commanding the animals through Genesis. They don’t seem to be responsive. No matter, along with Cass and Tulip, the trio harken upon their fine winged friends, the in perpetuity fighting Angel/Demon lovers as their Valkyries into the storm.

Back in the Pensacola station, the feed of “It’s Morning In America” being shot up by the crazed FBI agent is so rudely interrupted by the unchangeable transmission of “The Apocalypse 2020 Variety Revue“, hosted by the beauty-bathed Klaus Starr (Pip Torrens). The 60-minute special is to culminate in Humperd- sorry, the Messiah‘s big number, signaling down a Hellfire (how ironic), of which only the righteous will be spared. Deviants and apostates will have to face their just desserts.

As Tulip, Cass and Jesse are dropped off, both Angel and Demon pray request Jesse to take care of their child. Now for a while, since they were introduced, I had an itch that they, the exiled would play a bigger role. This series, though with its lulls and highs to me does very little superfluously or, better put, without reason.

As God relays some of his exploits to Humperdoo, a familial knock is heard. Why, it’s ya boy, Jesus. You remember, right God? The one to remind your creation that they are fallible and then punish him as an example? Oh, I love this series because it points out what is so silly about it. Anyway, Jesus comes back bearing roses for the talent and one last performance to possibly change his dad’s mind. Nope. Even with the help of Adolf Hitler (Noah Taylor) could Christ get even a twitch in his Dad’s fucking trousers. Ouch. However, as we see, one hair was harmed on Humperdoo’s head by his beautician and God went, well, God. He cast her through a fucking wall.

Falling in line with a little bit of pain, we see for the first time I could remember a very comic panel-ish montage of Tulip, Cass, and Jesse laying the smackdown on Grail security en route to “rescue” Humperdoo. See, Jesse knows what needs to be done and what shouldn’t cloud their judgment. Ha, that’s a funny word considering them arriving at an empty Cathedral only to have the show go on above them. Cass and Tulip lose Cass and go looking for them. Has their judgment already begun?

Checking in back with a now guitar-clad Eugene (Ian Colletti) singing “Closing Time” by Semi-sonic (I love how they are a joke now), he’s told by a berating Priest (Marty Rhone) that God may have no plan with him. Arseface still thinks- “Supastaahh”. Eugene might be the cruelest joke of all in this entire series. He’s God-fearing, looks for the good in everybody, is inherently clueless. Still, he retains hope in a hopeless deity. You know, if only Lenny had a guitar…

As a drum corps and color guard celebrate above in view of everyone in the entire world, Jesse and Tulip still call for Cass like a lost puppy. Sadly, we find out this is what Cass truly is, as God takes him hostage. God tempts Pronsias with his true temptation: winning the war, coming back home to the warm embrace of his family, his mate’s life intact. Even then though, getting a taste, like Heroin, Cass knows that happiness isn’t real. Still, all he has to do for that VR in perpetuity is to give up his IRL life-mate, Custer.

Speaking of, Jesse and Tulip, God stops their elevator. It’s time for his next interview. Tulip reassures him that everything’s going to be fine and that she read the letter. She has faith, but seemingly not in god but in herself. She exits.

While on Humperdoo watch-dog duty, Featherstone (Julie Ann Emery) is relieved by her post by Herr K. Starr. It’s New World’s Eve. She can take the night off. Thus ensues one of the most awkward and stringent seductions possible by Starr to his partner. As a hater of Mathematics because of how boring it is, if Math numbers could fuck, this would be their Overture.

Our most adorable vampire tries to reason with God, but no amount of honest talk could outdo God’s cutting to the core of Cassidy as being “a tired little boy who wants to go home.” That line was fucking brutal because it’s basically the last time Cass felt anything emotional as a human. His whole journey since then has been trying to find that feeling. Also, I’d not heard his name said out loud or don’t remember it until now. It sounds like Pontious…

As the Mowri act finishes, a very naked Starr but very clothed Featherstone have that ‘making it weird’ moment. She fears the time is finite and he fears now that it is too, as the first draft of the plan was total destruction and the revision was just decimation. Well, looks like Klaus-y made a mistake giving shit to the currently dead Hoover Two (Aleks Mikic). Besides which, according to her fuck-buddy, Featherstone would never get into Heaven anyway, given her forearm-to-fist sized strapon (it’s a beauty) she used on Herr. For Starr, it was all about the good stuff, never the trial.

As Tulip breaks from the elevator shaft, she’s met by God, who gives her a choice. To join or not to. Free will and all of that bullshit. Oh, she will join him, but not before he clears the room with another’s blood.

Back in Jesus’ (Tyson Ritter) chambers (funny, now that I think about it) Hitler seems like the best friend the Savior actually has. They get drunk and a Filicide is implied by Adolf. Though Jesus ain’t a killer, Hitler may raise eyebrow and Christ’s toast…

So God’s now with Tulip. He knows this person is a hard egg to crack, so head games it will be. He threatens her with Jesse’s death unless she sits, but in sitting, she is obeying him, even though she had free will. He’s going to have fun with proving her wrong.

Back in the elevator, though having heard nothing from his friends, he commands Genesis and it seems crows come out. Now I don’t know that for a fact, but I think Jesse has an endgame.

God wants any fight in Tulip and though Tulip is cool as a cucumber, God knows they can be sliced through a grater. He purchases her anger not in threats or with name-calling. He does it in 30 seconds, 1 tragic memory and 3 words to answer for it: “I can’t remember.” She loses it and lets off her slugs before he slugs her. Well, looks like Cass is being fed.

The elevator goes back online for Jesse to which he finds a completely disemboweled and dismembered Cassidy. The poor vampire, tears in his eyes tells him that he didn’t deny him for the longest until he did. God coldcocks Jesse with his best friend’s leg before dragging him to his doctor’s appointment. Hey, ya gotta extract something sometime, right?

Back on the Melbourne streets, Eugene’s a free man, he’s got a twinkle in his eye a spark- oh no. He was run over by a Taxi. Sparkle died when he started belting out.

Back in his own house, God takes Jesse to church. He wants only one thing and that is Genesis, a power to possibly rival God’s. Upon commanding, Jesse won’t willfully give it up, which might be the whole slice in the armor of the Almighty.

As Tulip tries, through guns and grit to blast through the door, nothing is doing the trick… until maybe another pissed off rival does?

As Hitler tries to sneak out, plastering Jesus with alcohol, JC stops him. He still doesn’t believe in murder and through a little shoving, they might actual get into a full-fledged fight, which I’d like to see.

Herr K. Starr, no matter the amount of Tech Support can’t get the Fax Machine online. I think the offices klaus@5Starr.com are fucking out. Try back tomorrow.

Finally, we end the working day on God growing tired of Jesse’s charade with being so damned resilient. I mean, the thing is, if He is his own image created us with free will, why not a Triumphant Will?

God attempts to shake it from him, but the Earth rattles. It’s the grande entre of the Killer of Saints (Graham McTavish). God himself knows everybody has a price and he also knows what a timeline is. He and William have a history and the only thing standing in front of his freedom and happiness, Jesse.

What I’ve realized from this episode… God’s a pussy and a bully. He’s created a sleeper cell so he can use it in his last moment, only to torment him so he can have up this built purpose. It’s a nice fail-safe, but I believe this will have an awesome controversial ending.

Either way, we will be watching next week when we get to meet our maker end.

FFVIII Remastered Review: This is The Best Way To Play

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September 23, 2019

Squall, Final Fantasy VIII Remastered — Squall, the hero of FFVIII. Photo Credits: Square Enix, and my own game play screenshots

Here’s why, without a doubt, this is the best version of Final Fantasy VIII ever made.

Final Fantasy VIII Remastered debuted on September 3rd, and after two weeks of binge-gaming, including achieving a near-perfect run, I can honestly say everything about this remaster is an upgrade to the original game. As the long-awaited port reworked not only updates the game’s graphics but also, added features to fix some of the more highly criticized aspects of the gameplay.

I’ll be covering the game for a three-part series. First with this review, then a tips and tricks section for both seasoned veterans and new players alike. Finally, I’ll conclude with a piece looking back at the FFVIII story 20 years later.

What Took So Long

There were a lot of negative reasons why FFVIII took a long time to get remade. VIII was sort of the middle child. A follow-up to the critical hit FFVII that likewise took place in a world of technological fantasy, yet still, never fully embraced the fantasy elements in the way that FFIX or FFXII had.

It was also, unlike other games of its time, solely focused on a love story. Which was a very different premise for its time.

Atop of that, there were legal issues regarding Faye Wong and the use of the game’s theme song “Eyes on Me” which made it difficult to re-release the game given that the licensing was meant for a single release one game agreement for a single videogame. No one thought videogames would be re-released via ports again-and-again.

Finally, the biggest issue in the game’s delay was that no one at Square had saved the source code of the game at the time as again, porting was something nobody knew was possible until the last decade.

As a result, using some of the original team on FFVIII, Square Enix had actually remade the game from scratch.

Where The Remastered Shines

The biggest problem with the original game over time had been how poorly the character skins and designs had aged. So much so that the game even inspired a meme.

Which is why the best part of the rework is how they reworked the in-game models. This includes not only character skins, but cars, magic, and even technological devices. With sleek looking details and three-dimensional textures to combat weapons added in, all while keeping the original backdrops and FMV sequences.

It’s stunning, to say the least. However, after a few hours of eye-gazing at all the visible upgrades, I started to remember some of the annoying parts of the game. Mostly, how much of a grind it was compared to modern games today. Worst is the draw command during combat, where one would spend hours endlessly stealing magic spells away from enemies.

Thankfully, there are a few new features to move past this.

The new 3x game speed in-game command accelerates the combat mechanics to fast forward through the annoying draw spell grinding against enemies. What used to take upwards to 10-minutes you can now finish in 2. It also returns the game back to normal speed for critically timed events, such as limit break commands and GF boosts, making the game faster paced but slow enough where it matters.

There’s also a built-in encounter-none command, where you can turn off and on the tedious random encounters in the game. Which may not feel like a classic JRPG but will give you the option if you’d like to save time.

Finally, there’s a battle assist command that makes combat much easier. This feature turns off the ATB gauge, allowing all your characters to make their turns immediately. It also keeps all your character’s limit breaks triggered, so you can use every character’s exciting finishing moves instantly at all times.

All three game-changing commands can be toggled off and on at the push of the button by the player.

Changes in Design

Again, the models and 3D skins were vastly improved upon which, for many players like myself, overwhelmed me with a sense of nostalgia and fondness. The remastered brought me back to everything I loved about this game as a kid. That said, there’s a bit of surprising backlash to the remaster about two very particular touchups to the models.

First and foremost, are that Siren and Shiva are almost entirely naked. That has always been the case in the game, though when I was younger, and the graphics were blurrier, I never really noticed. It’s hard not as a grown adult, and especially, in this version. Which is why some fans were outraged when Siren, a mermaid-like creature based on the Greek mythology, had gotten a redesign covering up her pubic hair.

Surprisingly, Shiva, who’s just as equally naked in my opinion… did not have changes. I’m not sure why the designers censored one and not the other.

The second issue was that Rinoa has a little more cleavage covered up in her top. To be honest, I didn’t even notice this change as it’s not as gapingly noticeable as the Siren issue, and personally, I think it makes the outfit look more realistic. Yet, some fans complained about the censorship.

This surprises me because Ultimecia and Edea both have very revealing low-cut dresses in full detail, something that I felt they detailed ever more so in this version. Though perhaps I just hadn’t noticed it as much until now.

Sorceress Ultimecia in a very low-cut dress — Apparently, becoming a sorceress gives you the power of boob cleavage.

Music Break

There’ve been complaints that despite attempts to not touch the videogame soundtrack, arguably FFVIII’s most beloved element to its game, there have been MIDI music conversion issues onto the FFVIII port.

Originally, I thought it may have been difficulties in maintaining the rights to “Eyes on Me’ but even I’ve had MIDI issues during gameplay. With a strange trumpet rendition during Dollet’s SeeD mission and the Epic Garden’s Clash battle of Act II, both of which have had issues with the story’s most action-paced theme song.

Hopefully, someone will fix or patch these issues as it’s detrimental to the mood of what’s supposed to be the two most heart-racing parts of the game.

Final Fantasy VIII’s Final Take

If you’d like to take a nostalgia trip into the past, or if you’ve never played Final Fantasy VIII but would like to, this is your best chance at that. It has the best parts of the game, updated with modern skins, and speeds through the boring grinding parts of the gameplay.

Honestly, the most negative comments I’ve looked into the game have really only been about the censorship of the character skins. Though with all the graphic changes and gaming memories, I don’t see why that’s what people focused on.

When I was a teen I never even noticed the degree of almost-nudity. It was the last thing I was concerned about in this game. Just give me more Squall and Rinoa love story with some Faye Wong’s “Eyes on Me” playing in the scenic backdrop, please.

9.6/10 As a Remaster

8/10 As a comparison to JRPGs overall

10/10 For Nostalgia’s Sake

‘Killjoys’ Review: Apocalypse Hugs Are The Best

By

Nicole C

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September 20, 2019

In the series finale of Syfy’s Killjoys, it’s armageddon time! Jaq is in the clutches of The Lady, Dutch uses Khlyen as bait, D’av and Johnny go monster hunting, and Aneela and Delle Seyah take their thrones.

The Bait is Set

As a part of Team Awesome Force’s plans, Dutch takes Khlyen to Arkyn to make her last stand against The Lady. As alien queen bait, he is injected with a poison that will take effect in two hours. The former assassin uses a holo projection to communicate (Gared left a receiver when he visited last) with the armada and taunts The Lady that she’s sure Khlyen didn’t tell her everything, like how to use Jaq to make certain that the transplant sticks or how to splice human parts for her children. If she doesn’t come alone within the time span indicated, Dutch will dose the older man again with another round of poison. After ending the communication, he asks Yala if it really is a deadly substance coursing through his veins. She confirms it is because The Lady may have put a bio feedback chip in him and she couldn’t risk it. If everything works out according to plans however, he’ll get the antidote. If she fails then it doesn’t matter what happens to any of them. Khlyen is impressed with his second daughter but asks how she plans on surviving this. Dutch instead says who says she’s planning to? The two wait for The Lady within the Arkyn cube.

Inside the cube, Dutch angrily tells Khlyen that the only one she’s ever needed saving from is him and she would like for him to stop making her feel small so that he can feel big. Soon though The Lady arrives with her goons and manages to put control collars on both Dutch and Khlyen. But the Killjoy has a contingency plan. A shield was set up around Arkyn that was activated as soon as the alien queen landed. The only way is out requires a particular piece of technology that the antagonist doesn’t have. Dutch adds that she and Khlyen are also now trapped inside with her. The Lady then realizes that the other members of Team Awesome Force are after her real body but decides that if these are to be her last memories of Yala then they should make this time fun. The Hullen leader then proceeds to have Khlyen battle his daughter to the death. Dutch asks the elder man if he thinks that The Lady is still worth saving.

At first the father and daughter are made to dance, with the alien leader waxing on about how she loved the memory of Yala being taught by Khlyen because they seemed happy. But soon she has them engaging in a fight club and the former Hullen tells the Killjoy that she needs to win this battle.

The Queens Take Their Thrones

Meanwhile on Qresh, Aneela makes her debut as the lost and last heir to Land Kin Rit with Delle Seyah by her side. They ask to get the military launch codes of each family within the Nine but the current head of Land Kendry, Liam, scoffs at the two women thinking they had no real power behind them to make such demands. He even tells his cousin that his soldiers have their guards outflanked outside, but Delle Seyah merely explains to her younger kin that he is terrible at warfare and that what matters is the proximity of a weapon. Then she reveals that Aneela is Hullen which terrifies all the Qreshi nobles. They were all apparently taught to fear the Hullen and rightfully so as Aneela could really kill them all without batting an eyelash. Delle Seyah then instructs them to kneel before their queens and it’s glorious! Once all present provide their codes, Delle Seyah tells Johnny and D’av that it’s done and they start attacking the Hullen armada.

The Jaqobis Go Hunting

Using new cloaking technology installed on Lucy, D’av and Johnny sneak onto the Hullen ship to look for The Lady’s real body. With info from Zeph, their plan is to lower the temperature around the alien so that the it goes dormant which will allow them to kill it. The missiles from Qresh attacking the armada provides a perfect cover to slip in unnoticed. Bombers get sent out while The Lady herself gets on another ship and heads to Arkyn. The boys then make their way towards the big bad alien body but come across some guards. As Johnny is asking Zeph for another route, Lucy informs her that there is an anomaly in the Hullen records as one of her patients is being held onboard. The scientist prepares to go into the armada herself to investigate.

Meanwhile, Jaq manages to slip out of his bindings (he had been taken to a lab for sample collection) and goes to find his dad and uncle. He manages to stab one of the Hullen soldiers that would have shot D’av, but in turn he gets shot himself (which Aneela feels on Qresh, prompting her to come for her son). Thankfully due to his part Hullen physiology, Jaq is able to heal, albeit slower than his mom. When his dad asks how The Lady found him, the younger man explains that he started having visions again of D’av getting shot and so he led The Lady to his location his order to save his father. The Killjoy wants to protect his kid but Jaq says that he doesn’t get to do that by putting everyone else’s family at risk.

Zeph dressed as a Hullen soldier makes her own way to another part of the ship where she comes across four cocoon like structures inside a research lab. She then moves to the one farthest from the door and slices the membrane open to reveal Pip!! But is this the real Pip and how did he survive the R.A.C. explosion last season? Does he still have a spider in his brain? His eyes suddenly opens and he removes an apparatus that was in his mouth. Zeph freaks out and points her gun at him screaming is it him and how does she really know that he’s himself. He tells her to stay back because it’s cold and he’s not at his best. She instantly knows it’s really the man she loves. The scientist then tells the brothers over their communications line that she found Pip and Johnny understands that she needs to get the man back to Lucy and they’ll handle the rest.

The three Jaqobis men are right outside room containing The Lady’s body and they enter with guns raised. The containment unit is however being guarded by almost a dozen Hullen who are all being controlled. Just as they seem out manned, Aneela shows up and evens the odds as they collectively take out all but two guards. She also calls Jaq little bear and asks if he missed her. Awwww. Mother bears will fiercely protect their cubs! John is about to cut some wires that are connected to the alien body’s containment unit when Jaq highly advises against it. So he decides that they need to find a way to The Lady’s ventilation source while Aneela will remain there to keep it occupied.

Back on Lucy, Pip is tripping balls imagining that Zeph knows he loves her and that she wants twelve babies. She tries to stabilize him but he passes out again before she is able to. The three Jaqobis in the meantime are in a shaft trying to locate the correct source and assuming their plan works, Zeph prefers that they kill the alien queen with fire. Meanwhile The Lady talks to Aneela psychically using her Hullen minions and recalls how her favorite memory was when Yala was born inside the cube. It seemed fitting that she kill Dutch in there as well which triggers Aneela to choke hold one of the soldiers telling The Lady to let her sister go.

Endings and New Beginnings

Inside the cube, Khlyen tells Dutch to remember her tenth birthday and we get a flashback of him giving her a small handmade knife instead of a doll. Young Yala wasn’t thrilled about it but he said that knives are for little warriors because the world was unkind to little girls. He tells her to always keep this blade hidden where they’ll never find it until it’s too late. Dutch uses the gift on Khlyen and then utilizes it to destroy the psychic collar. She is no longer under The Lady’s control. On the armada, Jaq chooses a tube to send the hibernation device in and they rush back to the containment unit where D’av then lights up the alien body with fire. As it burns, The Lady screams in pain in Arkyn and Dutch stuns her out cold. She then tries to staunch her father’s wound and he laughs asking isn’t she glad he got her that birthday knife.

Team Awesome Force reunites inside the supermax and a huge party is thrown. Even Fancy is head bobbing to the music! On a different part of the prison, Zeph is still running tests on Pip. She sees that the spider in his brain is shrinking and she asks how he survived the explosion. He doesn’t know of course but he asks if she could chill on the science stuff and just celebrate with him. Zeph though doesn’t want to get her hopes up only to lose him again. Pip dispenses some uncharacteristic wisdom telling his ladylove that no one is safe forever and not to look a gift Pippin in the mouth (or his new scars because that would make him feel insecure). She puts down her tablet, takes a deep breathe, says the scars are cool before proceeding to kiss him.

On Qresh, the two queens are in their chamber with Delle Seyah sighing about how Jaq better not miss his curfew. She notices that Aneela is looking at some very specific medical equipment when the other woman explains that she isn’t owed anything. If Delle Seyah wants to remain human, Aneela will hold her hand when she turns grey, bury her with honor, burn worlds in her name, and make certain she is not forgotten. The head of Land Kendry asks if the other woman even has enough green to share and Aneela answers that she wants to find out if Delle Seyah does.

In the aftermath though, Turin wakes everyone up at the supermax and brings some bad news. Back when they thought The Lady sent out her bombers to attack Qresh, it turns out that she sent half her fleet outside the Quad and the ships were full of hatchlings. Bad part is that they don’t know how many ships or how long she’s been sending them out. However, Dutch can find out because she didn’t kill The Lady after all. She’s still trapped inside the cube in Arkyn. Heading there, Dutch tells the now human girl that she has a choice to cooperate and help them because otherwise the former assassin will kill her. Yala suggests she think about it and gives her a red box. When the former alien queen asks if he’s from Khlyen, the Killjoy pauses and says no. When The Lady opens it, inside is a small doll.

On the armada, Turin deputizes a number of former inmates into new R.A.C. agents with their first mission to hunt down and destroy the hatchlings. Included as well are Pip and Jaq! Both Delle Seyah and Pree are also present and the former bartender follows the Qreshi, demanding that the Westerland refugees need a place to live. Somewhat reluctantly, she agrees to provide land on Leith until Old Town can be rebuilt. In addition she makes Pree into the new Lord Governor of Westerley. She even has her assistant give the man a box with an official emblem of position. Delle Seyah adds that she’s never going to be nice but she’s going to try to be good.

Inside Lucy, Johnny is sitting on the couch with his bags packed ready to say goodbye for now to Dutch. He tells her that it looks like she has all the help she needs and if he doesn’t leave now he never will. She says good because they aren’t done yet with hatchlings to kill and he says there will always be something, another warrant, another apocalypse. However he won’t leave unless she says she’s ok with it and Dutch quickly says good then no. This is what’s so great about their friendship because he immediately calls her a dick and she tearfully knows that if this is what he needs then that’s what they do. While they’re at it she tells him to take Lucy too. The ship teases for them not to fight over her because she would pick John (obviously). Dutch asks her to promise to take Johnny back in exactly one year and she agrees. Lucy then interrupts that she’s located one of The Lady’s bombers and asks if she should engage. The thief looks at the assassin and asks one for the road? The two then race downstairs with D’av to gear up for a fight. The elder Jaqobis asks how she wants to play this and she gives preliminary instructions then turns around, kisses him and finally says, “I love you too.” Team Awesome Force, giving alien babies hell and not feeling bad about it.

We end the series with Aneela and Delle Seyah sharing green, Khlyen heading to his wife, and the three Killjoys kicking ass.

Final Thoughts

It’s been an amazing five seasons of Killjoys to see the journey of Dutch, Johnny and D’avin from reclamation agents out to get a job done to heroes who saved the entire Quad. Along the way we met so many interesting and complex characters like Pree, Fancy, Zeph, Alvis, Aneela, Khlyen, and even The Lady. Each has had a compelling backstory, strengths, and weaknesses that make for gripping narratives and great television. I laughed and cried, felt sad, elated, shocked, and numerous other feelings were elicited. That is something not easily achieved in the ocean of content that people find themselves swimming in these days.

When I first started watching the show, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Space bounty hunters with a lot of action and drama packed in seemed promising after watching the pilot. With each subsequent season, the story arc expanded as well as the world building, bringing in unforgettable characters and interwoven narratives that built on each other along the way. It was diverse, inclusive, funny, intense, suspenseful, and surprising.

As we say goodbye to Killjoys, parting thoughts on some of my favorite moments throughout the series.

D’avin and Fancy head to Level 6 – shocking to discover that the missing Killjoys were being made into Hullen soldiers! Of course back in season one we didn’t know that.

Pawter’s Death – back in season two I gasped out loud when Delle Seyah stabbed Pawter as she was signing the document for Westerley’s independence. Poor Johnny was devastated. The doctor was one of my favorite characters, first having a thing with D’avin and eventually marrying the younger Jaqobis.

Delle Seyah’s Hullenization + Relationship with Aneela – after John kills her in Old Town, Delle Seyah was rescued and was given the green to become Hullen. She was naturally attracted to Aneela who was Dutch’s doppelgänger. The two womens’ relationship was unexpected but became one of my favorite things about the show. The two were just meant for each other and are equals in ruthlessness and passion.

Zeph and Pip – firstly, thank goodness Pip is back from the grave! His death was another one that really hit the heartstrings because of how much he had grown since we first met him in season three. These two characters were both quirky and socially awkward in their own way, one would have never expected them to pair up. But it just worked!

Johnny and Lucy – the true first lady of John Jaqobis’ heart is Lucy! When she took over one of the androids in order to kiss Johnny I squealed out loud.

Prima Dezz, Warlord – when we found out that our favorite bartender was once the notorious leader of the Ferrans it just made this character all the more amazing.

Thank you to the whole cast and crew of Killjoys for five unbelievable seasons!

Catch up on Killjoys HERE.

The Workprinters Podcast: Screenwriting

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September 18, 2019

The Workprinters is a weekly podcast where the staff of The Workprint gets together to talk about their lives, the world of entertainment, and whatever comes to mind as the conversation spirals from one thread to another.

This week, Christian talks with Rob about screenwriting, including why writing for TV is better than writing for movies and the lastest on the WGA-ATA writers strike standoff. Rob then talks about his podcast “After The Credits” and shares about some of the difficulties with the podcasting life.

‘Beyond The Demon, The Sea’ Review

By

Jad Kaado

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September 17, 2019

Beyond the Demon the Sea Cover — Cover of "Beyond the Demon, the Sea." Source Point Press.

If you are a comic book junkie like me, constantly sticking to the Big Two, Marvel and DC, can tend to get boring from time to time.

There’s nothing wrong with the main superhero lines and seeing new ways that talented writers and illustrators bring new life to these tropes. Lately, however, I’ve been craving the different.

I also feel that people tend to forget that there are other types of genres and styles that can exist within the comic book medium that don’t always make it into the mainstream.

Whether this be the weird, the absurd, journalism or memoir, the world of comic books presents a never-ending supply of stimulating works from the most offbeat creators that really provide a unique perspective to the art form.

One of these said pieces is a book I picked up from a local con called Beyond The Demon, The Sea by writer Ben Goldsmith and illustrator Davy Broyles; published by Source Point Press.

The story is about a young couple from England that are ship bound to the United States, when tragedy strikes on the sea, driving one of the characters to madness.

Not to mention that the one-shot comic has kick-ass cover art from Comic Maestro Ben Templesmith of 30 Days of Night and Wormwood Gentleman Corpse fame!

First off, the art of the book is absolutely fantastic. Broyles’ art (with some additional design by Joshua Werner) is very multifaceted, keeping the reader’s eyes entertained with every page of the story.

The bodies of the characters are drawn in a very unique way, almost geometric while containing visual indicators reminiscent of curvaceous heroes from antiquity.

The colors, used intentionally sparingly throughout the way, provides an interesting depth that almost tells a story of its own, in contrast to the “beige-scale” the shines in the shines of the backdrop of the story.

What got me excited the most; however, is the artist’s use of the gutter and paneling throughout the story.

Each panel presents an interesting take of panels and the gutters are barely noticeable in the page, due to the medley of concocted images such as ghouls, ropes, and blood that fill in the space.

I find this to be fascinating as Broyles’ approach to illustrating takes advantages of keeping the eye busy throughout the page, increasing your viewing time two-fold your norm, while retaining a function to it that adds to the overall breadth of the story.

Secondly, Goldsmith presents a familiar, yet entertaining tale many horror fans are accustomed to (and that I’m a fan of)- the “Sanity Slippage,” through a first-person perspective, similar to Poe’s “A Tell-Tale Heart.”

He plays upon whether the character is dreaming or not, within a chaotic situation, and also dances upon the subtlety of the artist’s drawing to further the story along.

I also enjoyed Goldsmith’s stylistic linguistic switch between the British and American characters, as well as the protagonists’ dialogues with each other, with Justin Birch’s lettering reflective of those styles.

Overall, I recommend checking out Beyond The Demon, The Sea from Source Point Press. It’s a fun read with even more fun art. It’s different than most mainstream comics, which is something I thoroughly enjoy.

Although not necessarily perfect, it is definitely worth the affordable price it is set at, definitely proving itself worth the read. Check it out!

Preacher Season 4 Episode 8 “Fear of the Lord’ Review: Waiting…

By

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September 16, 2019

Preacher-S4E8-Tulip — Flowers... for the dead?

I believe it was the 20th-century wit Tom Keifer that once sang “Don’t know what you got till it’s gone.” He was the first one, don’t dispute me on this! It was also the late-luminary-lyricist Guru that once rapped: “Nobody’s invincible, no plan is foolproof. We all must meet our moment of truth.” It is in these two musical stylings we find ourselves in the first gusts of the storm in episode eight of Preacher (AMC), “Fear Of The Lord.”

We open in on Herr K. Starr (Pip Torrens) being recovered by gents being kind enough to repurpose his Ken doll-like stump into a functioning spigot. Could this be some dream? Haze gives way to the Mr. Little Dusseldorf of 1979 Competition, of which (an adult) Klaus wins among a lineup of possibly more talented kids, thirsty for his blood. The ambiguous source of his vanity clicks into focus as we are dealing with a life-long prima donna. At this juncture, I can’t be too sorry as the losers donnybrook the shit out of him before Mr. Congeniality (3 years running!) carves a star in Starr’s eye.

Jolted awake by this nightmare, Starr is humbled by those showing him humility before being fed his own limb. He’s not to worry though since the Grail’s got his back… but the guy has to get his head back into the game (as it’s one of the few things that’s still attached to him).

Checking in with Jesse (Dominic Cooper), the refusal of the throne is steadfast and ironclad as ever, prompting Fiore (Tom Brooke) to turn up the heat. The angel’s opening gambit had yet to entice Custer, so maybe armies of ants up the rectum will do the trick. I mean, the digestive tract at least kind of looks like an ant farm.

On the road, Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) and Tulip (Ruth Negga) make a pitstop, intent to be their last stop. The setting is nearly perfect. Flood worthy thunderstorm, God’s fave in the backseat and one in the chamber. Stopping and tossing Humperdoo on the ground like a Scorcese movie, Tulip extracts the tool and expects an audience. She won’t go for the omnipresent bullshit.

CUT TO: Three Months Later.

The trio has now formed a near alliance, nay, family. Though Tulip is still waiting on God’s arrival so she can turn his only Beloved into Holy Ragu (now with more C4!), Cassidy has taken a huge affinity over him. Still, they have a drill of his dispatching when anyone comes for him. It’s called “Go To The Moon” in which he basically hides in his own blast container- a literal bomb shelter.

Back at Masada, Hitler (Noah Taylor) keeps giving an apprehensive Jesus Christ (Tyson Ritter) the hard sell on taking on the role of being Humperdoo. A very haggard and squeaky Herr K. Starr enters and Adolf tries to convince Klaus on what a fly Jesus could do. Thus ensues Christ’s crispy as fuck six steps, windmills and headspins to the blast of Run DMC’s “It’s Tricky”. Suffice to say, it’s not up to Starr and that Herr reiterates it’s Humperdoo, not Christ that he wants. One of the more tender moments and I don’t think I’d ever say this is Adolf consoling a downtrodden Jesus. It’s tender and in a nutshell, it’s what the series is about. I give Christ bonus points for rocking a sweet red and white jumpsuit with fresh and chonky white Air Force 1’s with a boss Kangol to boot.

Because Cass lost Humperdoo on a wood gathering sojourn while taking a piss (not on him in the British way because that would be mean) and (not in the American way because Humperdoo would think it’s playing), Tulip and Cass come across him in a clearing being very kind and genteel with fauns. Cassidy is moved fucking greatly and praises Humperdoo’s amazing way to connect with the well life around him. In his words, it was ‘Biblical’. We see a flash in Tulip’s eyes that their plan might have its ultimate flaws.

It’s nighttime at Masada. A very naked and inebriated sashed Herr K. Starr sashays into the darkened conference room. Armed with a bottle of vodka and cuffs on one wrist, he hoists himself upon the conference table, now 89% human. Therein lie the philosophy of killing oneself is worth it because you failed your task, or if your task was worth the act itself. This becomes VERY Waiting for Godot and though Klaus tries to hang himself with the only thing he’s able to give pride to, it gives way and catches his nipple chain, thus making him 88.88% human. Oh Starr, there’s a saying- “God only helps those who help themselves.” Now as an atheist, I found the saying laughable, but I did find the intent intense.

As Jesse is seemingly released from his jail from a break compliment of the Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish), he proceeds on horseback (where did he get a horse?!) into that good night. While taking a rest, the Saint of Killers is uncharacteristically nice with his whiskey and story… yup, too good to be true. It’s Fiore’s last attempt to give Jesse hope until he has his hench-angels force Jesse upon the thrown, not of his own volition. This gives Jesse George A. Romero life. He traverses the terra firma from which he was buried.

At their undisclosed location in the forest, Cass, Tulip, and Humperdoo are descended upon by Featherstone and Starr just as they.. well, more on that in a moment.

As the trio sits down for a dinner of (blueberry?) burgers cooked by Tulip prove to be a vomit party. Humperdoo projectile vomits on Cassidy. Cassidy lovingly reciprocates. It’s really.. uhmp. uhmp. Sorry. Turns out that was caused by their Sonic Nauseator they installed, so though weak stomach, Tulip is iron guts, blood bumping. They pull the “Go to the moon” routine, so their good egg is safe while Featherstone (Julie Ann Emery) busts in and Tulips pukes all over her boots. Pistol whipped, Cass comes to her, nope, slips on her vomit. As preps Humperdoo for airlift, Cass won’t relinquish his death. That’s met quick with an ax belted to his chest by Tulip, getting the detonator but as she sees Humper going into the clouds, she refuses to push the button.

If we’ve gone this far with such a show and have yet a vomit joke, I give them total respect. Hey, if you gotta vomit it all creatively, might as well make it worth a damn… Which this wasn’t. But I think that’s the point. The pointless nature of it all. Kudos, creators!

Now, with apologies exchanged, Tulip and Cass have one mission- to retrieve their guy.

As Jesse, now resurrected traverses the desert, he approaches something slightly drier… God’s (Mark Harelik) love. As God’s RV approaches, he may feel it a savior among the wasteland but in fact, it’s the worst thing he’s come across. There’s no artifice though. No trickery. God is truly there and though and exuberant Jesse embraces him, Custer’s not passed His Kobayashi Maru test. Nobody could. Not even his only begotten Son (with Mary Magdalene being his unbeatable glitch.)

As God wants thanks for the creation of mankind, Jesse grows impudent and is rewarded by his right eye being chewed out by the Almighty himself. That’s thanks for ya!

At the Grail, celebrations are in full swing, as Klaus is in his full eyed and untouchable glory (though he looks like a mediocre Bible salesman). I figure that’s the point. Imperfections are what make us awesome (not perfect imperfections, I don’t care how playful the lyric is, John Legend!) Ugh. Anyway, now there is an official “air date” for the Apocalypse.

Back at the Holy Grail and Bar, Cassidy and Tulip prepare for true war. Cassidy shares a moment of levity and they share what I assume several moments of intimacy over a flamenco guitar that…

…Is being played in an Australian jail. The dude is shanked to hell and Eugene approaches him. He picks up the guitar. I think Eugene is learning a little more than he lets on. Did he orchestrate this?

As Cassidy and Tulip bask in the afterglow of true feeling, a calmness washes over Tulip. Whatever may lie ahead, she feels good at the moment.

A rapping is heard at the door and both her and Cass find a beaten and eyeless Jesse, returning. The prodigal son has returned. Cassidy laughs and smiles.

As for this episode, I find this episode the most connecting of the trio, though Jesse isn’t reunited until the last few moments. I will say this here and now before I hate myself for not saying it- I see the trio as a Jules et Jim. I’ve always seen them and as they head into the storm together, I left you with two quotes and I will leave you off with one more:

“The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm.”

-Confucius

‘Killjoys’ Review: We Say Goodbye to Old Town

By

Nicole C

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September 13, 2019

In the penultimate episode of Killjoys season 5 Team Awesome Force tries to save Old Town.

Old Town is not doing so well these days with The Lady’s hatchlings more like full sized adults with big appetites. The fearsome female herself is at one of the factories with Khlyen overseeing final deliveries. He muses how the end is finally here as well as a new beginning. The former Qreshi noble asks The Lady about her promise to give him a galaxy but she declares that it was only a figure of speech. Since she will have a galaxy, he will have one too. A bemused Khlyen says that he didn’t take her remarks that way, but adds that his desires are on a much smaller scale. He just asks for one planet, Qresh. When she asks why he shrugs and states human sentiment towards his former home. She agrees to it on a conditional basis, that is as long as things work out in Westerley. If it doesn’t she will start all over in another system and will leave nothing behind, not even Qresh. He comments that she seems nervous, which would be perfectly understandable given she’s been planning this for centuries. Because The Lady makes a snide side comment about how if he loved Qresh so much why didn’t he marry it, I’m unsure if the emotions she feels towards him is of the fatherly kind or the romantic. However, it’s been incredibly interesting to watch her develop human emotions throughout the season and to struggle with it the longer she is in a body.

In the meantime, Johnny and Zeph bring in some welcome good news that instead of them having to target 200 factories, The Lady has shifted all work to the main Old Town plant to maximize output thus giving Team Awesome Force and their squad just one big location to target. The Killjoys head to the supermax where they are greeted by three fierce women, Rennicka, Delle Seyah, and Aneela. The Kin Rit sisters are reunited with Dutch explaining that they tried to get Aneela out but The Lady was freed instead and that’s when things got complicated. The Hullen says it’s alright however and what a touching moment this is! They have come such a long way from when Aneela had been trying to kill the former assassin.

KILLJOYS — “Terraformance Anxiety” Episode 509 — Pictured: (l-r) Aaron Ashmore as John, Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch — (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Killjoys V Productions Limited/SYFY)

Delle Seyah in turn fill the Jaqobis brothers in on how Jaq had a vision that they were in trouble that’s why they came to the supermax. She adds that they need to head to Qresh so she can take back her place as head of the Nine and start a proper war with The Lady. Dutch on the other hand still thinks they need to save Westerley now. D’av surprisingly agrees with the surrogate mother of his son, but that’s because they need to get weapons from Land Robbel.

On Qresh, the Robbel siblings offer their missiles in exchange for D’av marrying one of them. Dutch appears a little while later and makes an alternate suggestion that if the brother and sister agree to provide them with weapons, Delle Seyah will give them a seat in the Nine (to which their mutual friend agreed to). Speaking of which, Aneela and the Killjoy have an interesting side conversation where the Hullen reveals that aside from Jaq, The Lady really wanted Khlyen and that’s why she brought him back. He knows more about the alien physiology and she needs him to make sure the transplant sticks. We also discover that the Kin Rits were the first of the ten Qreshi families and it was they who chose which families ruled and which served. It seems that part of Aneela and Delle Seyah’s plans are a power grab to re-establish the Kin Rits as heads of Qresh. Formidable indeed. Delle Seyah agrees and the Robbels seem to seal the agreement with sexy ear touching.

Meanwhile Pree and Gared are able to rescue Turin from a kill squad and the trio retreat back to Zeph’s Old Town lab in an attempt to contact her. Luckily, they are able to connect via a video feed and as Pree is waxing poetic about taking revenge for the death of their comrades Johnny walks into the shot and happily says that all members of Team Awesome Force are alive. The bartender explains though that they’ve got problems because the towns folk were told to go back home and that they didn’t have to work ever again. The younger Jaqobis brother still thinks that there is still enough oxygen in the air to reverse the terraforming and Zeph tells the trio to check on her weather station because she needs to know what’s changed in the air. Gared then volunteers to go and help Johnny because he needs to make amends for what he’s done by helping Khlyen. Pree reluctantly lets him go after they share a passionate kiss. He then goes off with Turin to check on the weather data when an ominous fog appears. As the two men are walking back to the Royale, they encounter Carl who then gets eaten by one of the grown hatchlings. They then try to round up as many Old Town residents to the bar in order to keep them safe and not walking the streets of Old Town until they can be evacuated by Team Awesome Force.

Back at the supermax, Johnny has a missile beacon set up ready to go and Dutch prepares to give a rally speech to the prison troops. But before that Zeph informs them that they’ve got a problem because the fog is now on Old Town and that extreme localization can’t be natural. Then there’s the monsters that are eating people. Dutch thinks they still need to hit the factory first, assuming that the fog is being generated through it somehow. Not destroying the place could mean more oversized hatchlings that they won’t be able to stop. She then addresses the inmates who volunteered for this mission and at first her pep talk fails to win the crowd but she switches tactics and gets honest with them. This isn’t what they signed up for and this isn’t even their fight, but it could be. Dutch’s heartfelt speech on always being an outsider that is now a part of something bigger sticks the landing and the prisoners are moved.

First part of their plan is to send Gared to the armada to feed Khlyen false information. Through a communicator that Fancy built himself, Johnny will talk the other man through the ruse. It seems that Gared is to tell the older man that as the mole, the rebels are going to attack the Old Town factory but it’s only a distraction as the real attack will be on the armada from a broke ship, whoops a cloaked ship. This mistake clues Aneela’s father in that Pree’s partner is communicating with someone. Confronted, Gared’s earpiece is removed and Khlyen hears Johnny, D’av and Dutch who are on Westerley preparing to attack the factory. He heads to The Lady and asks for a ship to the planet on the guise that his mole has given him information that the factory is to be ambushed and he needs to confirm it. However, just then one of the Hullen soldiers gets an alert that the attack is underway already. Khlyen however also adds Gared’s lie that this is just a distraction for the real target is the armada. She asks him who he thinks is behind this and he says he intends to find out.

KILLJOYS — “Terraformance Anxiety” Episode 509 — Pictured: (l-r) Aaron Ashmore as John, Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch, Luke Macfarlane as D’Avin — (Photo by: Ian Watson/Killjoys V Productions Limited/SYFY)

Speaking of which, D’av finally confesses to Dutch that he loves her and couldn’t imagine life without her just as they are about to go shoot a bunch of stuff. With that Team Awesome Force plus Fancy and the Herks inmates begin their assault. Johnny and Dutch plant the missile beacon in one section of the factory and over comms tells Zeph that they’ll meet her at the rendezvous point. D’av then tells his men to fall back as well. Khlyen though soon appears at the factory as well and destroys the beacon, except we find out that was exactly what Team Awesome Force planned for. Aneela had told Dutch earlier that they needed to rescue their father though the later was suspicious of his agenda. However, Khlyen reveals some troubling news that the fog over Old Town is meant to suppress The Lady’s children and if that is gone they will be indestructible plus destroying the factory will only result in the annihilation of the Quad. She knocks Khlyen out and tells Johnny to reset the missile target zone so that most of Old Town will get hit to take out the hatchlings. Meanwhile the folks inside the Royale have headed out to the badlands before the weapons are launched. As Dutch presses the button that ushers in the destruction of the only real home she’s had, it’s an emotional moment as this town has been with her and us since season one of the series.

The rescued Old Town residents get showered with Zeph’s memory restoration solution in the aftermath and Dutch talks to Khlyen inside the supermax. He tells her that what she did doesn’t stop the end because back on the armada, The Lady is pissed as hell and intends to burn everything to the ground. However she does get one perk as earlier there had been a signal being beamed directly to them from a distant planet. She sends a jumpship to investigate and it finally returns with the cube that contains a sleeping Jaq inside.

Surprisingly we also get a memory scene of Khlyen and a young Aneela in Qresh before they leave for Arkyn where he tells her that the work they are doing will be for their planet and they’ll return when the work is done. We see the adult Aneela watching the scene and it’s like she was still in the green. Did she create another pool by draining her blood again?

KILLJOYS — “Terraformance Anxiety” Episode 509 — Pictured: Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch — (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Killjoys V Productions Limited/SYFY)

Final Thoughts

It was so good to hear Pree sing again before the series ends.
The scene with Johnny and Dutch kicking ass and taking no prisoners was such a call back to season one!
Turin is really becoming an old softie.
I was not expecting Old Town to get destroyed, it’s been so through so much throughout the entire show. Every season we get a shocking death, this one definitely counts.
With only one episode left in the series I am both excited and sad because I want to know what happens and yet am so sad that it’s all coming to an end.

Killjoys airs Fridays at 10/9c on Syfy.

To catch up on all things Killjoys click HERE.

Preacher Final Season Review: Episode 7- Gauntlet Throne

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September 12, 2019

Who Needs Training Wheels — 15 Minutes or More Can Save You 15% Or More On Christ Insurance

Hot on the drop of Mr. Custer (Dominic Cooper) in the last episode, we open in on Tulip (Ruth Negga) and Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) burying a literal fallen as the Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish) observes from afar. From the usual twinkle in his dreamy eyes, we can tell that this shit is far from over. Seven was always seen as a big Biblical number, and on this episode of Preacher (AMC) “Messiahs,” I’m starting to think there may be something to that.

Jesse, however, is overlooking over an azure lake, teaching a little girl to fish. How did he get here, who was that little girl? My first assumption was that it was an older version of the daughter taken from him. Could it be? Is this Heaven? Before we could make any sense of the odd jump cut, Fiore (Tom Brooke) appears. The two men travel through some breathtaking vistas, including what’s assumed to be “God’s Golden Shore” which is old-timey nomenclature for Heaven. They arrive at a golden door leading Jesse to his true purpose- to take the Throne in God’s stead.

Back on the road again, Cass and Tulip tear it up, as if to outrace fucking reality itself, but their stone-faces speak a different story. Stopping before a church, a tearful eyed Tulip reads Jesse’s missive. Upset, she storms into the House of God… maybe to ask him for sugar? Cassidy, still wounded from the arm burns finds (providence?) in a nearby chicken coop. Doing his best to maintain the Path of the Righteous Vamp, he confronts the owner of them he’s taken them and letting Ringo off with his life.

Meanwhile, Tulip seems to be making herself cozy in the House of the Lord, going shithouse on it. This includes immolating the goddamned the joint. Call me old-fashioned, but something tells me Tulips never been one to use the doormat for any purpose outside of hiding a key (and NEVER her own).

Back at the Grail, speaking of fiery, an undercover Featherstone (Julie Anne Emery) makes Hoover Two (Aleks Mikic) a little weary as he grabs the morning joe for Herr, Jesus, and Hitler. It’s most likely to get under his skin as she seems to be one step ahead of the curve (yet still two steps behind Tulip), though with an Achilles heel for Starr.

Come to mention it, we haven’t heard from Herr K. Starr (Pip Torrens) in a while. That’s because he’s busy crawling after a more than happy dingo running away with his cock in his mouth. Oh Starr, will you ever understand that vanity is pretty damn synonymous with pride? A rose by any other name would smell just as acrid!

These days, everybody seems to be feeling the pressure cooker in what proceeds is a throwaway scene which appears to be a throw to Network. As a friendly reminder, an FBI agent on the light and fluffy “It’s Morning In America” basically does his best Howard Beale impression, telling people that not all are hugs and kisses after the nuclear explosion. I mean, unless you count it kissing the sky and hugging the earth.

Back in the goody room, Jesse gets his first trippy glimpse into what being God might entail, including tough choices like the Kennedy assassination. Jesse outright refuses and without a beat, as if to talk down a first-time acid user, Fiore assures Jesse everyone says no the first time. Custer is adamant, citing it a sin, the biggest one there is- treason. Things don’t look up for their cause.

Traveling over to Hasidic section of Williamsburg, Tulip tries to reason with Dany (Julie Dretzin), a former employer of hers and Jesse. Tulip wants someone and Dany wants something. Over at a nearby diner, Cassidy tries to reason with Tulip to take the bullet for her but because “the gloves are way off”, Tulip takes a breath and puts that same bullet into Dany’s husband’s skull.

Over at Masada, Christ proper meets ersatz Humperdoo (Tyson Ritter). After a lackluster performance, Hitler (Noah Taylor) puts a hot one in his chest, causing Jesus Christ (Tyson Ritter) to freak and use his own name in vain. It’s the little cherished moments that make you fall in love with this series. Hitler comes clean about the whole shit-sandwich of a situation about Christ’s true begotten. Adolf though wants to skip the pre-season and go straight to the playoffs and suggests that the OG J.C. take the job instead. This probably won’t end well.

After the deed’s been done, Dany flat out welshes on her end of the bargain on account of how special the person is. Gee, I wonder where this could let to. For one, it leads to Tulip’s famous brand of “convincing” and for another, it leads to us to kind of figuring out who it might be.

Back in Heaven, Jesse maintains it wouldn’t be right or even make sense for him to take on the mantel of God, lamenting the evil he’s done. His realization why he’d even go to Heaven- oh that’s right. He’s in the Underworld itself and not even Genesis can save him.

Back at Masada, where Starr is missing, Hoover Two eavesdrops on Jesus and Hitler bickering. Jesse Custer ain’t the only one not wanting to go against Yahweh. As Christ said unto Hitler, “You shall not muzzle an ox, for it treads out the grain.” It’s true. Why muzzle a beast of burden and go “against the grain.”… At least that’s what I think it means. For once, Hoover Two’s stoic face seems to be slightly stirred.

Open the doors to a synagogue and enter Tulip, Cassidy, and Dany as they continue past the praying Hasidics into a back room. In it, Cassidy and Tulip witness the majesty of the one true Christ Child in all his dancing splendor. Despite the insistence of Dany, the duo take off with Humperdoo and though the congregation attempts to take him back, Humperdoo’s made his choice. When asked where they are going to take him, Cass rattles off his best monologue yet about faith and devotion to God in the face of tragedy is a fool’s errand. Their plan? To kill Humperdoo before the very eyes of God himself.

Transferring to Florida, a Pensacola police Chief Wittman (Christopher Kirby) gets a call from Hoover Two. It turns out that Hoover Two was going Donny Brasco on the operation, masking his deep southern drawl. Turns out poor gent won’t make detective before 30 though. It just goes to show you, never piss off a barista.

As Humperdoo hangs out the car window like a happy puppy, Cass and Tulip have a determined look in their eyes as they wind along verdant pastures. I mean not very subtle, but still a tight minute setup.

Lastly, back to Jesse. It turns out that an alternate view of the gravity of the situation is needed, so Fiore shows him the day that God (Mark Harelik) flew the coop. As a stressed God listens over prayers, Fiore informs him that Genesis has escaped. The moment Fiore turns his back, God, like a fucking Geico commercial “goes up the country” (including shots of him riding his hog down highways). He parties it up in New Orleans and finds his Doggie In The Window in the form of a rubber fetish suit.

Fiore does remind Jesse that God isn’t without his hand on the tiller. He has bigger things in store. You see, God is not an artist. He’s an artiste. And as with any artiste, he never looks back on his old work. Just as Edna Mould: “It distracts from the now.” Dinosaurs and humanity were alright, but now he’s working on his Third Act, supplanting humans with something even crazier. That is unless Jesse acts now (supplies are running out).

As a whole, I think this was one of the more entertaining ones not relying on violence or action, yet not feeling labored. I see it as the calm before the storm, so the excitement and fear begin to take hold.

The Banana Splits Movie Review: Post Mortem

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September 11, 2019

I’ve been afforded the gift of sharing with you guys a glimpse into my podcast, After the Credits. I host it with my better half, Norton. With a bit of chagrin, she agreed to pull the trigger and grimaced through the pain of watching The Banana Splits Movie with moi.

As you’ll encounter, this is a movie where we honestly harbor more questions than answers. Sometimes, however, ya just have to trust some flicks become cult classics because they fail at being bigger than the sum of their parts.

The Banana Splits Movie I’m still on the fence with, as its intentions aren’t fully known. You’ll find that out as we elaborate on that more.

As for the creep factor, it completely delivers. In terms of the violence factor? It’s really the only thing audiences would be eager to talk about. It’s the star of the show, the bell of the goddamned ball. It’s not the selling point, as that’s implied. I see it more as the high-octane to a mediocre ride. It still gives it kick though, which might help it cross the finish line.

All we have no is word of mouth to go by before the movie hits SYFY on September 21, 2019.

If you’ve seen the flick or don’t care for spoilers, cozy up with Norton and I as we find out what a Banana Split truly is.

First Look at Apple’s Original Shows for Apple TV+

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September 10, 2019

Apple TV+ is launching on November 1, but Apple has not revealed much of what we can expect from their original series until today!

The following original series will be launching alongside the Apple TV+ service on November 1:

“See,” an epic drama starring Jason Momoa and Alfre Woodard, is set 600 years in the future after a virus has decimated humankind and rendered the remaining population blind. When all humanity has lost the sense of sight, humans must adapt and find new ways to survive.

“The Morning Show,” a cutthroat drama starring and executive produced by Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Aniston, and starring Steve Carell, explores the world of morning news and the ego, ambition and the misguided search for power behind the people who help America wake up in the morning.

“Dickinson,” a darkly comedic coming-of-age story, explores the constraints of society, gender and family through the lens of rebellious young poet, Emily Dickinson.

“For All Mankind,” a new series from Ronald D. Moore, imagines what would have happened if the global space race never ended and the space program remained the cultural centerpiece of America’s hopes and dreams.

Also releasing on November 1st will be:

“Helpsters,” a new children’s series from the makers of “Sesame Street,” stars Cody and a team of vibrant monsters who love to help solve problems. It all starts with a plan.

“Snoopy in Space,” a new original from Peanuts Worldwide and DHX Media, takes viewers on a journey with Snoopy as he follows his dreams to become an astronaut. Together, Snoopy, Charlie Brown and the Peanuts crew take command of the International Space Station and explore the moon and beyond.

“Ghostwriter,” a reinvention of the beloved original series, follows four kids who are brought together by a mysterious ghost in a neighborhood bookstore, and must team up to release fictional characters from works of literature.

“The Elephant Queen,” an acclaimed documentary film and cinematic love letter to a species on the verge of extinction, follows a majestic matriarch elephant and her herd on an epic journey of life, loss and homecoming.

Oprah Winfrey joins the world’s most compelling authors in conversation as she builds a vibrant, global book club community and other projects to connect with people around the world and share meaningful ways to create positive change.

New original shows will join Apple TV+ each month including:

“Servant,” a new psychological thriller from M. Night Shyamalan, follows a Philadelphia couple in mourning after an unspeakable tragedy creates a rift in their marriage and opens the door for a mysterious force to enter their home.

“Truth Be Told,” a gripping new series starring Academy Award winner Octavia Spencer and Emmy Award winner Aaron Paul, explores America’s obsession with true crime podcasts and navigates urgent concerns about privacy, media and race.

“Little America,” inspired by the true stories featured in Epic Magazine, brings to life the funny, romantic, heartfelt, inspiring and surprising stories of immigrants in America.

“The Banker,” a feature film inspired by a true story, stars Anthony Mackie and Samuel L. Jackson as two African American entrepreneurs who try to circumvent the racial limitations of the 1950s and quietly provide housing loans to the African American community in Jim Crow Texas. Nia Long and Nicholas Hoult also star.

“Hala,” a feature film and official selection of the 2019 Sundance Film Festival and 2019 Toronto International Film Festival, follows a high school senior struggling to balance being a suburban teenager with her traditional Muslim upbringing.

Apple TV+ Launches November 1 for $4.99 Per Month

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September 10, 2019

Apple has announced Apple TV+, their video subscription service, will launch on November 1 in over 100 countries and region.

The service will be available on the Apple TV app on iPhone, iPad, Apple TV, iPod touch, Mac and other platforms, including online at tv.apple.com, for $4.99 per month with a seven-day free trial. Starting today, customers who purchase any iPhone, iPad, Apple TV, iPod touch or Mac can enjoy one year of Apple TV+ for free. Through Family Sharing, up to six family members can share one Apple TV+ subscription.

“With Apple TV+, we are presenting all-original stories from the best, brightest and most creative minds, and we know viewers will find their new favorite show or movie on our service,” said Zack Van Amburg, Apple’s head of Worldwide Video. “Each Apple TV+ original offers its own unique story, fresh perspective and powerful message — all meant to entertain, connect and inspire cultural conversations.”

“Apple TV+ is an unprecedented global video service with an all-original slate,” said Jamie Erlicht, Apple’s head of Worldwide Video. “We look forward to giving audiences everywhere the opportunity to enjoy these compelling stories within a rich, personalized experience on all the screens they love.”

Subscribers to Apple TV+ will be able to watch originals both online and offline, ad-free and on demand, on the Apple TV app, which comes pre-installed on iPhone, iPad, Apple TV and iPod touch. The Apple TV app will also be available on select Samsung smart TVs, and will come to Amazon Fire TV, LG, Roku, Sony and VIZIO platforms in the future.

‘Kingdom Hearts 3 Re Mind’ DLC – Tokyo Game Show Trailer

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September 9, 2019

Do you have a craving for more Kingdom Hearts? Well, it’s you’re lucky day as Square Enix has released a new Kingdom Hearts 3 Re Mind trailer for its upcoming DLC coming out this Winter.

The DLC will allow players to “experience a new episode” where they’ll encounter “new obstacles and bosses to battle.” Re Mind will feature new story scenes along with Sora’s new battle form as he takes on the evil Organization XIII. Players will also be able to “travel to a familiar realm and encounter powerful new bosses. In some of the additional battles, players will be able to switch characters.”

KINGDOM HEARTS III Re Mind will launch this winter for the Playstation 4 and Xbox One.

‘Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Remastered Edition’ Gets January Release Date

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September 9, 2019

Square Enix has announced that Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Remastered Edition will be releasing on January 23, 2020 on the Playstation 4, Nintendo Switch, and mobile – iOS and Android.

Originally published in 2003 in Japan and 2004 in the United States on the Nintendo Gamecube, Crystal Chronicles allowed players to tackle a brand new action-based story solo or with up to four players. The multiplayer, however, came with a catch. Each player would need a Gameboy Advance and a GBA-to-GC connector cable for each player. Luckily for players, the remastered will have a much simpler take on multiplayer.

Players will be able to play online with up to three friends and will support cross-play functionality making it easier than ever to find someone to play with.

Other new features that can be found in Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Remastered Edition:

Updated Visuals and Audio – Experience the world of Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles in stunning new ways, with upgraded graphics and audio updates enhancing the magical adventure like never before.
New Character Voiceovers – Playable heroes come to life with brand-new voiceovers as they cast spells and battle ferocious monsters.
New Dungeons and Bosses – Challenging new dungeons and bosses have been added to the game, allowing for even more fun and exciting gameplay opportunities.
New Character Appearances and Items – Stand out with brand-new looks and artifacts to equip and use throughout your magical journey.

Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Remastered Edition will make its first appearance this week on the show floor at Tokyo Game Show.

The Steven Universe Movie Review: The Truth is Love

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September 9, 2019

The Steven Universe Group Years Later — Credit: Cartoon Network

In this episode of The Workprint’s TV Talk podcast, Christian talks about and reviews Steven Universe: The Movie, with special guests Kyle and Lisa, an illustrator and chiptune musician, whom you may remember from the Tuca and Birdie Podcast.

Debuting last week, The Steven Universe movie is directed, co-written, and produced by showrunner Rebecca Sugar, along with longtime crew members Kat Morris and Joe Johnson.

Originally serving as the default series finale, the movie now acts as a standalone film as the series has plans to continue with cartoon network.

The movie follows a three-year time-skip into the life of Steven Universe, showing how much Steven has grown, as well as how much his life had changed, while still showcasing that some things about the characters and nature of this universe, especially regarding the crystal gems, will always remain the same. That is until a nefarious plot unfolds, and an aspect of Pink Diamond’s past returns to haunt Steven yet again.

Nevertheless, the Steven Universe movie is told strictly in musical style, all while taking a characteristic and charismatic look at the past five seasons. With the entirety of its longstanding voice over cast ensemble assembled, each character plays a significant role, as the series goes through a longstanding laundry list of references to almost every storyline throughout the series history. In what could only be seen as a final love-letter and its powerful message of finding the truth through love.

Currently, the movie is sitting at a perfect score on Rotten Tomatoes and is highly recommended by the crew here as well a personally myself. With a special portion at the end of this podcast about just how much Steven Universe mean to us as a series, especially myself personally.

‘The Purge’ Season 2 Trailer

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September 6, 2019

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fbymIUau-w&feature=youtu.be

About THE PURGE:

Based on the hit movie franchise, THE PURGE revolves around a 12-hour period when all crime, including murder, is legal. Season 2 explores how a single Purge night affects the lives of four interconnected characters over the course of the ensuing year, all inevitably leading up to the next Purge. From Blumhouse Television and UCP, the second season of the anthology series opens on Purge night but dives deeper than ever before in to what the Purge world looks like the other 364 days of the year. THE PURGE Season 1 was USA’s #1 scripted series in P18-49, P25-54 and P18-34 in 2018¹.

THE PURGE Season 2 is executive produced by the film franchise creator James DeMonaco, who executive produces along with his partner for Man in a Tree, Sébastien K. Lemercier; Krystal Houghton Ziv, James Roland, Tim Andrew, and Jason Blum. Additionally, Michael Bay, Brad Fuller and Andrew Form, from the film franchise, serve as executive producers under the Platinum Dunes banner, as does Thomas Kelly. The series is a co-production between Blumhouse Television and UCP. Season 2starsDerek Luke (“13 Reasons Why”), Max Martini (“Pacific Rim”), Paola Nuñez (“The Son”) and Joel Allen (“Never Goin’ Back”).

Season 2 of ‘The Purge’ premieres on October 15 on USA Network

Warner Bros. Announces Their New York Comic Con 2019 Panels and Screenings

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September 6, 2019

Warner Bros. Television Group has announced their schedule of panels and screenings for New York Comic Con 2019.

Three new series and four returning favorites will headline the weekend in New York City. On Friday, October 4, HBO will present an exclusive screening of Damon Lindelof’s eagerly anticipated series Watchmen, in advance of its Sunday, October 20. The NYCC debut screening will be followed by a Q&A session with series stars and executive producers.

Saturday, October 5, brings the season two world premiere screening of Castle Rock, with a cast and producer panel session. On Sunday, October 6, Kate Kane will come out of the shadows as the latest addition to The CW’s Arrow-verse, Batwoman, which premieres later that night at 8/7c on The CW.

In addition, Sunday’s WBTV block will include back-to-back cast and producer panel sessions with the residents of Riverdale (returning Wednesday, October 9 at 8/7c on The CW), the resident aliens of Roswell, New Mexico (returning midseason on The CW), and the continuing mysteries of Manifest (which returns midseason on NBC).

Fans will also be treated to a screening of the debut episode of Harley Quinn, the adult animated series voiced and executive produced by The Big Bang Theory’s Kaley Cuoco, which is coming soon to DC Universe.

The full panel descriptions and details can be found below:

WARNER BROS. TELEVISION SESSIONS

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 4

3:45–5:45 p.m. Watchmen Exclusive Pilot Screening and Q&A –– Set in an alternate history where masked vigilantes are treated as outlaws, HBO’s upcoming series Watchmen embraces the nostalgia of the original groundbreaking graphic novel of the same name while breaking new ground of its own. From the co-creator of The Leftovers, Damon Lindelof’s new series is set in contemporary 2019, where roughly 30 years have passed since the original Watchmen story. Please join producers and series stars for an exclusive sneak peek of the first episode of the HBO series, followed by a panel discussion. Watchmen premieres October 20 and airs Sundays at 9/8c on HBO. Become a fan of Watchmen on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/WatchmenHBO and follow the show on Twitter and Instagram @watchmen.  Main Stage 1D – Javits Center

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 5

3:30–5:00 p.m. Castle Rock Season Two World Premiere Screening and Q&A –– J.J. Abrams and Stephen King’s hit psychological horror series returns! Set in the Stephen King multiverse, Castle Rock combines the mythological scale and intimate storytelling of King’s best-loved works, weaving an epic saga of darkness and light, played out on a few square miles of Maine forestland. In season two, a feud between warring clans comes to a boil when budding psychopath Annie Wilkes, Stephen King’s nurse from hell, gets waylaid in Castle Rock. Panelists include series stars Lizzy Caplan, Tim Robbins, Paul Sparks, Yusra Warsama, Barkhad Abdi and Elsie Fisher, along with co-creator and showrunner Dustin Thomason. Castle Rock premieres Wednesday, October 23, only on Hulu. Become a fan of Castle Rock on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/CastleRockHulu and follow the show on Twitter at @castlerockhulu.  The Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden.

SUNDAY, OCTOBER 6

10:30–11:30 a.m. Riverdale Special Video Presentation and Q&A –– Now that the Gargoyle King has been revealed, The Black Hood is dead and Hiram is in jail, can Archie and the gang have a normal senior year? Riverdale returns for its second appearance at New York Comic Con to discuss the new mysteries of season four, including the shocking finale flash forward and what it means for Jughead and the others. Based on the characters from Archie Comics and produced by Berlanti Productions (The Flash, Supergirl, Blindspot, Arrow, DC’s Legends of Tomorrow) in association with Warner Bros. Television and CBS Television Studios, this one-hour drama is a bold, subversive take on the surreality of small-town life. Join us for a special video presentation followed by a Q&A with series stars Mädchen Amick, Marisol Nichols, Mark Consuelos and Skeet Ulrich, plus executive producer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa. Riverdale returns for season four October 9, airing Wednesdays at 8/7c on The CW. Riverdale: The Complete Third Season is now available on Blu-ray™ and DVD. Become a fan on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/CWRiverdale, and follow the show on Twitter at @CW_Riverdale.  The Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden

11:35 a.m.–12:05 p.m. Manifest Special Video Presentation and Q&A –– Last season’s breakout hit drama returns with more heart-pounding mystery and answers to some of season one’s biggest questions! When Montego Air Flight 828 landed safely in New York after a turbulent but routine flight, the crew and passengers were relieved. Yet in the span of those few hours, the world had aged five years and their friends, families and colleagues, after mourning their loss, had given up hope and moved on. Now, faced with the impossible, they’re all given a second chance. But as their new realities become clear, a deeper mystery unfolds and some of the returned passengers soon realize they may be meant for something greater than they ever thought possible. Join the series cast and executive producer/creator Jeff Rake as they delve even further into the mystery of Flight 828, and offer a special sneak peek at some exclusive new footage! Manifest’s second season will air midseason on NBC, and is produced by Compari Entertainment in association with Warner Bros. Television and Universal Television. Become a fan of Manifest on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/NBCManifest and follow the show on Twitter @NBCManifest.  The Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden

12:10–1:00 p.m. Roswell, New Mexico Special Video Presentation and Q&A –– Following the shocking season one finale where Max used his powers to resurrect Rosa while not realizing that he was sacrificing his own life in the process, join the Roswell, New Mexico team as they return for a second appearance at New York Comic Con! In season two, Liz mourns her lost love by seeking comfort in science, both earthly and extraterrestrial, as Rosa turns to Kyle to help her find her place in the unfamiliar territory of 2019. In their grief, Isobel explores potentially dangerous methods of self-defense, and Michael spirals into some old bad habits, putting his relationships with Maria and Alex at risk. Join us for a special video presentation followed by a Q&A with series stars Jeanine Mason, Nathan Dean Parsons, Michael Vlamis, Lily Cowles and Tyler Blackburn, along with executive producers Carina Adly MacKenzie, Chris Hollier and Julie Plec. Roswell, New Mexico will return midseason on The CW. Become a fan of Roswell, New Mexico on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/CWRoswellNM and follow the show on Twitter @CWRoswellNM.  The Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden

1:05–1:30 p.m. Harley Quinn Screening –– Catch an early look at this upcoming adult animated action-comedy series coming soon to DC UNIVERSE. Harley Quinn puts everyone’s favorite Gotham villainess front and center as Harley has finally broken things off with the Joker and attempts to make it on her own as the criminal Queenpin of Gotham City. Voicing the title role of Harley Quinn, Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory) leads an all-star comedic voice cast which includes Lake Bell (Bless This Mess), Alan Tudyk (Doom Patrol), Tony Hale (Veep), Ron Funches (Powerless), JB Smoove (Spiderman: Far From Home), Jason Alexander (Seinfeld), Diedrich Bader (Veep), Chris Meloni (Happy!), Jim Rash (Community), Wanda Sykes (Black-ish) and so many more. Harley Quinn is produced by Ehsugadee Productions in association with Warner Bros. Animation, with executive producers Kaley Cuoco, Sam Register, Justin Halpern, Patrick Schumacker and Dean Lorey. Check out DC UNIVERSE yourself at https://www.dcuniverse.com/join.  The Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden

1:35–2:45 p.m. Batwoman Pilot Screening and Q&A –– Armed with a passion for social justice and a flair for speaking her mind, Kate Kane soars onto the streets of Gotham as Batwoman, an out lesbian and highly trained street fighter primed to snuff out the failing city’s criminal resurgence. But don’t call her a hero yet. In a city desperate for a savior, Kate must overcome her own demons before embracing the call to be Gotham’s symbol of hope. Join cast and producers for a screening of the pilot, followed by a Q&A. From executive producers Greg Berlanti (Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl), Caroline Dries (The Vampire Diaries, Smallville), Geoff Johns (Arrow, The Flash, Titans) and Sarah Schechter (Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl), Batwoman stars Ruby Rose (Orange Is the New Black, The Meg, XXX: Return of Xander Cage), Rachel Skarsten (Reign, Fifty Shades of Grey, Lost Girl), Meagan Tandy (Survivor’s Remorse, UnREAL, Teen Wolf), Nicole Kang (You), Camrus Johnson (Luke Cage, The Sun Is Also a Star), Elizabeth Anweis (Twin Peaks) and Dougray Scott (Taken 3, Hitman, Mission: Impossible 2). Marcos Siega (You, God Friended Me, Blindspot) directed the pilot, for which he also served as executive producer alongside David Nutter (Game of Thrones, Arrow, The Flash). Batwoman premieres October 6, airing Sundays at 8/7c on The CW. Based on characters from DC, the series is produced by Berlanti Productions in association with Warner Bros. Television. Become a fan of Batwoman on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/CWBatwoman and follow the show on Twitter @CWBatwoman.  The Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden

Black Lightning, Katy Keene, Legacies, Prodigal Son and Titans — In addition, Sunday’s Warner Bros. Television Block will also include an exclusive presentation of new footage from the upcoming seasons of Black Lightning (returning Monday, October 7, at 9/8c on The CW), Katy Keene (premieres midseason on The CW), Legacies (returning Thursday, October 10, at 9/8c on The CW) and Prodigal Son (premiering Monday, September 23, at 9/8c on FOX), as well as the current second season of Titans (now streaming on DC UNIVERSE).

PLEASE NOTE: Series stars and creative teams scheduled to attend are subject to change.

The Workprinters Podcast – Did You Know Chucky is Based Off a Real Haunted Doll Story?

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September 5, 2019

The Workprinters is a weekly podcast where the staff of The Workprint gets together to talk about their lives, the world of entertainment, and whatever comes to mind as the conversation spirals from one thread to another.

This week Bilal, Jen, and Christian tear across multiple topics over an hour-long conversation that touches upon:

Password Security
How Bilal met Jen
The Tomb Raider movie/videogame movies in general
Clowns and Puppets
The first movies we cried watching
Critical Role and Dungeons and Dragons
Christian tells us the Chucky doll is based off a real story
Probably 10 other topics I forgot about

Christian didn’t touch upon it in detail, but Wikipedia gives us a brief history of Robert the Doll – aka the doll Chucky is based on.

From Robert(doll) Wikipedia:

The doll originally belonged to Robert Eugene Otto, an artist described as “eccentric” who belonged to a prominent Key West family. The doll was reportedly manufactured by the Steiff Company of Germany, purchased by Otto’s grandfather while on a trip to Germany in 1904, and given to young Otto as a birthday gift. The doll’s sailor suit was likely an outfit that Otto wore as a child.

The doll remained stored in the Otto family home at 534 Eaton Street in Key West while Otto studied art in New York and Paris. Otto married Annette Parker in Paris on May 3, 1930. The couple returned to the Otto family home in Key West to live there until Otto died in 1974. His wife died two years later. After their deaths, the Eaton Street home containing the doll was sold to Myrtle Reuter, who owned it for 20 years[3] until the property was sold to the current owners, who operate it as a guest house.

In 1994, the doll was donated to the East Martello Museum in Key West, Florida, where it eventually became a popular tourist attraction. It is annually rotated to the Old Post Office and Customhouse in October.

According to legend, the doll has supernatural abilities that allow it to move, change its facial expressions, and make giggling sounds. Some versions of the legend claim that a young girl of “Bahamian descent” gave Otto the doll as a gift or as “retaliation for a wrongdoing”. Other stories claim that the doll moved voodoo figurines around the room, and was “aware of what went on around him”. Still other legends claim that the doll “vanished” after Otto’s house changed ownership a number of times after his death, or that young Otto triggered the doll’s supernatural powers by blaming his childhood mishaps on the doll. According to local folklore, the doll has caused “car accidents, broken bones, job loss, divorce and a cornucopia of other misfortunes”, and museum visitors supposedly experience “post-visit misfortunes” for “failing to respect Robert”.

Milo Ventimiglia is Evil Knievel in USA Network’s ‘Evel’

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September 5, 2019

Milo Ventimiglia, TV’s favorite dad, will play Evil Knievel in USA’s newest limited series.

USA Network has ordered the Milo Ventimiglia-led limited series Evel.

Evel is based on the story of 70’s daredevil Evel Knievel as he prepares for his greatest death-defying feat, the historic Snake River Canyon jump. Ethan Frankel (Sorry For Your Loss, Shameless, Animal Kingdom) will write and executive produce the series as it shines its light on the life of a “complex man living the American dream, juggling meteoric celebrity and raising a family — and facing the very real probability that his next jump will kill him.”

“USA Network is known for big event series that celebrate heroes, rebels and icons, and what could be bigger than the story of one of the greatest thrill-seekers of all time?,” said Chris McCumber, President, Entertainment Networks – USA Network and SYFY in a press release. “The incredible life and journey of Evel Knievel lends itself to a dramatic retelling, and we are excited to be partnering with Milo, McG, UCP, Atlas and Wonderland to bring this iconic American tale to our viewers.”

Serving as executive producers are McG, Mary Viola, and Steven Bello of Wonderland Sound & Vision; Alex Gartner, Charles Roven and Topher Rhys-Lawrence of Atlas Entertainment; and Ventimiglia. Russ Cundiff will co-executive produce on behalf of DiVide Pictures.

Production is expected to begin in 2020.

‘Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan’ Releases New Season 2 Trailer, Sets Premiere Date at Amazon

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September 5, 2019

John Krasinski is back as Jack Ryan this November.

Amazon Prime Video has announced that the second season of Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan will premiere globally on Friday, November 1, 2019. The action-thriller, starring John Krasinski, also had a brand new trailer released alongside the premiere dates news. The official season two trailer will also be shown during tonight’s NFL Season Opener on NBC, but you can check it out below!

In the second season, CIA Officer Jack Ryan heads down to South America to investigate after tracking a potentially suspicious shipment of illegal arms in the Venezuelan jungle. As Jack’s investigation threatens to uncover a far-reaching conspiracy, the President of Venezuela launches a counter-attack that hits home for Jack, leading him and his fellow operatives on a global mission spanning the United States, UK, Russia, and Venezuela to unravel the President’s nefarious plot and bring stability to a country on the brink of chaos.

“Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan” is co-produced by Paramount Television and Skydance Television. In addition to Krasinski, the second season also stars Wendell Pierce (“The Wire”) as James Greer, Noomi Rapace (“Prometheus”) as Harriet ‘Harry’ Baumann and Michael Kelly (“House of Cards”) as Mike November.

The show is executive produced by Andrew Form, Brad Fuller, Michael Bay, Krasinski and Allyson Seeger, along with Carlton Cuse and Graham Roland, who created the series for television.

Additionally, Andrew Bernstein, Vince Calandra, David Graziano, Clancy, David Ellison, Dana Goldberg, Marcy Ross, Mace Neufeld, Lindsey Springer, Dennie Gordon and Phil Abraham also executive produce Season 2.

Hulu Announces Marvel’s Runaways, Castle Rock, and Reprisal Panels and Screenings for NYCC 2019

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September 5, 2019

Hulu is returning to New York Comic Con with panel and screenings.

Announced earlier today, Hulu will be bringing Marvel’s Runaways, Castle Rock, and Reprisal world premieres and panels to New York Comic Con 2019.

Veteran series, Marvel’s Runaways, will be celebrating its return to Madison Square Garden on Friday, October 4th with a panel and world premiere screening of the first episode of season three. The new season will drop in its entirety on Hulu on December 13, allowing those who catch the premiere at NYCC an advanced look at the upcoming season.

On Saturday, October 5th, Castle Rock‘s panel will bring stars Lizzy Caplan, Tim Robbins, Paul Sparks, Yusra Warsama, Barkhad Abdi, Elsie Fisher and co-creator/showrunner Dustin Thomason to Madison Square Garden as Hulu will premiere the second season of their hit psychological-horror series set in the Stephen King multiverse.

Last, but not least, Hulu’s newest series, Reprisal, from the executive producer of The Handmaid’s Tale, will grace Javits Room 1A10 on Saturday night with a world premiere screening and panel. Reprisal tells a hyper-noir story follows a relentless femme fatale (Abigail Spencer) who, after being left for dead, sets out to take revenge against her brother and his bombastic gang of gearheads. The thriller examines the intricacies of family – both the one you’re born with, and the one you make along the way.

Screening and panel information is below:

Marvel’s Runaways: Season Three World Premiere Screening and Panel

Marvel’s Runaways is headed back to Madison Square Garden with an action-packed panel you won’t want to miss! Be the first to experience the premiere episode of the highly-anticipated third season with the stars and creative forces of Marvel’s Runaways. After the exclusive screening, join Jeph Loeb, Head of Marvel Television, along with the cast and executive producers, to discuss what’s to come in season three. All episodes of Marvel’s Runaways season three drop on Friday, December 13^th only on Hulu.

Friday, October 4^th 5:30 – 7:00 PM, Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden

J.J. Abrams & Stephen King’s Castle Rock: Season Two World Premiere Screening and Panel

Hulu’s hit psychological-horror series returns! Set in the Stephen King multiverse, Castle Rock combines the mythological scale and intimate character storytelling of King’s best-loved works, weaving an epic saga of darkness and light, played out on a few square miles of Maine woodland. In season two, a feud between warring clans comes to a boil when budding psychopath Annie Wilkes, Stephen King’s nurse from hell, gets waylaid in Castle Rock. Panelists include stars Lizzy Caplan, Tim Robbins, Paul Sparks, Yusra Warsama, Barkhad Abdi, Elsie Fisherand co-creator/showrunner Dustin Thomason. Castle Rock premieres Wednesday, October 23^rdonly on Hulu.

Saturday, October 5^th 3:30 – 5:00 PM, Hulu Theater at Madison Square Garden

World Premiere Screening and Panel of Hulu’s Reprisal

From the executive producer of The Handmaid’s Tale, comes Hulu’s new drama series Reprisal. Premiering at New York Comic Con, the hyper-noir story follows a relentless femme fatale (Abigail Spencer) who, after being left for dead, sets out to take revenge against her brother and his bombastic gang of gearheads. The thriller examines the intricacies of family – both the one you’re born with, and the one you make along the way. The series stars Abigail Spencer, Rodrigo Santoro, Mena Massoud, Rhys Wakefield, Madison Davenport, Gilbert Owuor, David Dastmalchian, W. Earl Brown, Craig Tate, Wavyy Jonez, Shane Callahan, and Rory Cochrane. All episodes of Reprisal will premiere on Friday, December 6^thonly on Hulu.

Saturday, October 5^th 7:00 – 8:15 PM, Javits Room 1A10

The Workprint’s Host Themed Podcast

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September 4, 2019

In a special podcast for those interested to get to know some of the staff and hosts at The Workprint, including yours truly, The Workprint podcast will be releasing some host themed episodes. Right now and in the near future, each of us here will talk a bit about ourselves, our art, the craft, our professions, what we’re consuming, and what’s big in pop culture. All for a fun and silly get-to-know-your-hosts podcast.

For this episode, I talk about myself and the art of screenwriting, along with fellow workprint writers and podcasters, Jad and Bassam Kaado. As the brothers and I share a bit about the importance of making writing about creating your own story, talk about some of our organizations we curate, share our artistic professions, and delve into a love of storytelling.

In this get to know the staff episode, Christian talks with Jad and Bassam about their interests, screenwriting, and more all here on TheWorkprint podcast. Available on iTunes and Google Play.

Preacher Final Season Review: Episode 6- Colonel’s Original Recipe

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September 3, 2019

dont-play-with-dead-things — God was always a hobbyist at heart. Playmobil was just too juvenile for his taste.

By a show of hands, who is familiar with a concept called the Apocalypse? I mean, like a member of the Wu-Tang clan, it goes by myriad aliases- the Ragnarok, End of Days, the Rapture, Peace on Earth, the Reckoning, et al. For many, it marks a cleansing of sorts. Granted, when you have both Jesus Christ and Hitler overseeing the terms of this Ballet du Blight, the term “cleansing” couldn’t be more opposing. Welcome to episode 6, “The Lost Apostle.”

Jumping off on the somewhat disappointing heels of the previous piece in this series’ puzzle, we find God (Mark Harelik) replaying his greatest hits of faith and devotion on VHS. This particular one we have the pleasure to be a fly on the wall of is The Binding of Isaac. It’s a moment of pledging fealty most are aware of- God commands Abraham to prove his fealty to the Big Lug by tying his only begotten to an altar and killing him. Of course, we also know a Heavenly herald also stays his hand before the deed is done. The moment of Abraham’s embrace to God is something he just keeps looping like the ethereal egoist he is. Ah, whatever happened to the days of not questioning your Papa? This longing prompts God to ring up Herr K. Starr (Pip Torrens).

As the summit between Jesus (Tyson Ritter) and Adolf (Noah Taylor) ambles along, Herr finally receives clearance from On High to commence Phase 2 of the Apocalypse to put everybody’s feet to the fire. This, of course, means both J.C. and A.H. need to get their shit on somewhat of a level playing field in determining which souls are destined for Heaven or Hell, which are headed to Coachella… and which are headed to the literal Fyre Festival.

Before hanging up, as we the audience most likely assume by now, God infers about his favorite, Humperdoo as a test yet to be passed. A grimacing Starr lies once again to assuage the Big Man. Oh, Klausy-Klaus, don’t you know lying, though typically a Venial Sin can turn Mortal if its gravity is that much greater? Lying to the Dude’s face (who knows, maybe Jeff Bridges is God?) is an affront to his supreme intelligence? Tsk, tsk.

Back at the Deputy Prime Minister’s estate, a clandestine black SUV rolls up to stir up a little trouble. With the Australian coat of arms on its side, it drops off some cargo, but not before attempting to run a few of the guards over. But what’s in the box, what’s in the box?? The lovingly gifted parcel is none other than the Deputy Prime Minister himself, in all his gory glory. Hey, at least they were accommodating enough to include his sash for identification!

Back in his RV, God is laying his plans down. With the meeting ground of him and Custer at The Lost Apostle, a penis-shaped rock formation in the Outback (get it? in the Outback?), the Almighty has bigger plans afoot in the shape of a girthy Nuclear Bomb.

Back in Melbourne, Tulip (Ruth Negga) and Cass (Joe Gilgun) blaze through the streets in their cherry ’72 Chevy Chevelle, which if you’ll recall Tulip gush over in the last episode, has a 350 Cubic-inch V-8 heart… not unlike the wheels of another black leather-clad Aussie in the days of yore. The quick pans, tracking shots seem to evoke throughout the episode Tulip is truly Mad and taking it to the Max.

Stopping at the city’s police station and posing as two American coppers, they request to see the Commissioner. Through a funny miscommunication and dialed-in commentary on the language barrier of even English speaking countries with Americans being the ‘ugly’ ones, Cass and Tulip score a meeting with the Big Man In Charge. After relaying why their jurisdiction prevails when it comes to the most wanted man in the world, they’re informed it’s too little, too late. Even more valuable, they score an interview with Jesse’s “killer,” Eugene (Ian Colletti), who seems to let on little remorse. Not believing him for a second that Jesse is gone, Eugene spills the scoop.

Back to the lock and key scenario that is the Saint of Killer (Graham McTavish) and Jesse (Dominic Cooper). After painfully removing Eugene’s bullet and cauterizing the wound, Jesse passes out until daybreak. The Saint of Killers forces him on his feet and in one last-ditch effort to utilize his only weapon, Jesse in futility tries to use Genesis on his travel mate. Onward they both go to once and for all kill God.

Back at the negotiation table, where Hitler tries to grapple with the law of God in redemption being the only way to salvation. Even if someone as evil as Hitler can be saved, the Fuhrer wants nothing of the sort and wants his roster nice and tight. Jesus is unrelenting on his stance, but possibly runs the risk of giving homosexuals the chance at salvation. They seem to be at an impasse and are prompted by an increasingly worried Herr K. Starr to get the talks moving as Phase 2 is already set in motion.

As Jesse continues to follow the Saint of Killers, he begins to dig his literal and proverbial heels into the ground to the point of being impetuous and telling a Saint whose hammer can blow holes through planets to essentially fuck off while enjoying a cigarette. Preacher knows that so long as tar and oxygen course through his lungs, he’s an asset that cannot be killed unless Providence wills it so. We also find out that Custer feels for the Saint of Killers. His family was taken away, not once, but twice by God. The second time was with Tulip. He was to know and we were to find out, but I think it only gives the Saint only more impetus to show Jesse how meaningful he is in his quest by continuing into town, blasters out. Alas, Jesse has no other option but to ‘try’ and stop him to ‘the Judge.’ That’s what the Saint of Killers reminds me of! Goddamned Sweeney Todd!

Hot on Eugene’s tip, Cass and Tulip arrive into the outskirts of town a scene late and three lives short, as evidenced by the hanged family of three above their dinner. At this point with the amount of carnage left in the Saint of Killer’s wake, I now just feel bad about that dinner that was growing cold.

Booking it out of their just as quick as they’d gotten in, Tulip and Cass hit where the paved road ends and the unforgiving Outback begins.

Back at Australia’s Lost Apostle National Park, the guards see what seems to be approaching Kiwi’s. Getting out a brief lament, one of the guard’s gourd is drilled by a well-placed piece of lead, quite possibly from the vehicle barrelling down, harboring what one could consider the Big Baby, Fat Boy.. basically the mascot for not a New Year, but rather a New World.

As the Saint of Killers marches on, Jesse decides to finagle his plan of action into using the Saint’s firepower against him, but to no avail. Devout, those puppies only respond to their master and none other. At the end of his rope, Jesse vows to die before he lets the Saint of Killers commit Deicide.

As Tulip and Cass had found the Flavour Station diner in the unknown, they attempt to map out their next course of action. Seeing as though there are very few roads on the actual map, Cassidy coaxes Tulip into giving him Jesse’s letter, be there any clues to where he might be headed in it. A worried and anxious Tulip reads the face of Cassidy, she grows more and more wistful and pained. I for one give this particular scene of Ruth’s one for the ages. Her facial expressions are reminiscent to me of Paul Giamatti’s Miles in Sideways upon finding out his divorced wife has not only remarried but also had the child they never did. Such anguish, such maelstrom in the contortions of the face while trying to maintain a modicum of dignity. Ruth should totally have a stand-alone series. In any event, a very stressed Tulip grabs the missive and goes out for a smoke.

While outside, she hears the blaring of French Hot Jazz from a nearby RV. Outside of the olfactory, sometimes a sound could be the most memory jogging. As Tulip proceeds to and into the RV, Cass is going through his own shit. He begs for the check unless the waitress has proper drugs or something that can ejaculate his central nervous system. She does hint towards some Flame Retardant they “might” house in the back of the joint…

As Tulip examines the trailer, she is repulsed by what God is keeping caged, though we’re not privy to watch his hatchling is yet. Even more offsetting to her is God’s dog costume, which confirms where she is. It isn’t until the discovery of his little hobbyist playset that she puts the pieces together and alerts Cass to where Jesse is headed. God himself simply hides in a darkened corner, watching a character interrupt his playtime.

Approaching Cass who is whacked-out on Flame-Retardant, Tulip shows the sun-choked Vampire what getting sky-high truly feels like. Making a play for Jesse, they charter a private plane and set off.

As Jesus and Hitler enjoy the fresh spread amid their stalemate, an awaiting Herr K. Starr gets the call for Australia and INXS’ “New Sensation,” flares up. Maybe it’s just me, but I’ve found a lot more instances in this final season of copyrighted music being deployed. I don’t find it distracting myself and if they can secure some really heavy hitters, more power to them. As an excited Starr briefs Hoover Two (Aleks Mikic) on his brief departure, we catch a glimpse of a disguised Featherstone (Julie Ann Emery) undercover as a Barista. Taking a page out of the Tulip playbook, are we?

As Jesse takes point wandering the dessert with the Saint of Killers, he fears not. The entire concatenation of shit got him this far and who is he to doubt providence… or getting high with a little help from his friends. Jesse books it ahead just as Tulip pilots down to scoop him up, leaving the Saint of Killers in a dust cloud of the flame retardant Cassidy didn’t taste test. On the plane, a grateful Jesse is met with the icy shoulder of Tulip. Breaking the tension, however, Cassidy demands Jesse find out the explanation of the Big Lebowski from God. For a brief moment, all is right with the world as a smirk cracks across Tulips pursed lips.

As God observes the final bows being tightened on Phase 2, Herr K. Starr inquires into his “handsome” reward more coveted than revenge. As they say, pride goeth before destruction and because Herr, given one last chance to come clean on Humperdoo cannot even humble himself, his just desert dessert is 1500 pounds of Dingo bite force Down Under. Welcome to Australia!

As Cass, Tulip, and Jesse approach the Lost Apostle rock, Jesse realizes that they are headed straight into a trap. God dons his best Old Testament vibe and detonates the nuke, sending the aircraft into dire straights. Jesse is jostled from the plane and though Cass attempts to save him are noble, Preacher uses Genesis on him to release a grip that is killing not only Cass but also the plane itself.

Jesse falls to his assumed death. Now he can meet God properly.

Remember that story from before, the Binding of Isaac? Theologians and scholars argue that contrary to popular belief, Abraham knew that Isaac wasn’t going to die in the first place. It may have been Isaac that was testing God’s morality- a sort of Biblical game of “chicken.” This would actually work in favor of Jesse’s entire narrative. Hey, if you can swear to him and swear at him, why can’t you question him?

I must say that this episode picked itself up from its bootstraps, on the heels of the last one. Now that we only have four episodes left, let’s hope that we’re full steam ahead. For now, let’s just say that my faith is restored. To paraphrase the Smiths, “If it’s not love, it’s the bomb that will bring it together.”

Weekend Movie Brawls #10: Animation/Real Life Battle

By

Matt Perri

-

September 1, 2019

Hello and Happy Labor Day Weekend, everyone, and welcome to Weekend Movie Brawls!

Here, we take an in-depth look at films with similar themes or stories and we pit them against each other in a competition based on their merits. For example, it can be two animated films of the same type, two films which take place during a certain time period, two films with similar plots or an original film versus its remake.

The reason we make this a weekend thing is because when else might you have the time and energy to relax and see something you haven’t seen before?

August has come to an end and we have a very big battle between two films which mix live-action with animation. This week’s battle could be a battle of generations: the old school vs. the new school and the passionate debate the latter film brings about is absolutely legendary.

Let’s meet our competitors…

In this corner…

1) WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?

PLOT

When Marvin Acme (the man behind every single cartoon gadget in the Looney Tunes cartoons) is murdered in his own factory, cartoon star Roger Rabbit (Charles Fleischer) is considered the #1 suspect due to the fact that he was, uh, “playing patty-cake” with Roger’s wife, Jessica (Kathleen Turner). The truth, however, is that Roger’s been framed. With Judge Doom (Christopher Lloyd) breathing down Roger’s neck (and threatening his execution with a newly-invented substance which can actually end a Toon’s life, it’s up to Detective Eddie Valiant (Bob Hoskins), who has a personal hatred of ‘Toons after one murdered his brother years prior, to solve the mystery and bring the real killer to justice. Directed by Robert Zemeckis.

…and, in this corner…

2) SPACE JAM

THE PLOT

Cartoon aliens have invaded the cartoon home of Bugs Bunny and all of his friends. They aren’t impressed with the tiny little aliens and challenge them to a basketball game where the winner gets to do what they want and all is well — until the aliens steal the abilities of the NBA’s best players and use their newly-acquired talents to beat the Looney Tunes senseless. After taking a shellacking at their hands, they abduct a newly-retired Michael Jordan and ask for his help to even the odds in a winner-take-all basketball game. Directed by Joe Pytka.

SCORING

The scoring in Weekend Movie Brawls is simple. There are five categories: music, casting, writing, production (which includes design, costumes, make-up, etc), and direction. Each of these will be awarded a letter grade, from A to F. As in school, each of these letter grades has a number associated to it. An “A” is worth 4 points, “B” is 3 points, “C” is 2 points, “D” is 1 point and “F” is worth nothing. The highest score wins.

The final scoring will not be revealed until the end of the contest.

In the event of a tie at the end of a brawl, the winner will be decided via a playoff round at a later date.

And, as always, THERE MIGHT BE SPOILERS, so if you haven’t seen these films, get out of here while you still can.

If you’re still game for this, read on!

MUSIC

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?

We’ve met Alan Silvestri before during the “Predator” battle where he composed the scores for two of the four films. Along with “Back to the Future”, this may be Silvestri’s best musical score. He not only channels the brassy Looney Tunes stuff, he also creates a great tapestry, mixing in tasty saxaphone-laced noir cues with his usual heavy, adventurous scoring stuff. It’s a score which excites and exhausts you as many of Silvestri’s 80’s and 90’s scores did. It’s great work.

SPACE JAM

The score was conducted by James Newton Howard and it’s like a knock-off of “Roger Rabbit” but it’s more declarative, full of big orchestral hits. It’s more or less an action score. Howard did better with stuff like “Batman Begins” and “Unbreakable” and there’s nothing memorable. When Howard’s score isn’t being showcased, the soundtrack pumps every pop anthem you’ve heard at a basketball game — and culminates with “I Believe I Can Fly” by R. Kelly…we’ll just leave that there.

CASTING

*(from left to right) Bugs Bunny, Bill Murray, Michael Jordan and Lola Bunny in “Space Jam”.*

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT

Veteran actor/comedian Charles Fleischer plays the voice of Roger Rabbit here with the late, great Bob Hoskins playing Eddie Valiant. Fleischer brings a charming, sympathetic sweetness to Roger which runs contrary to Hoskins and his stone-faced demeanor. Kathleen Turner plays the voice of the now-legendary knock-out, Jessica Rabbit who has some sort of weird affair with Marvin Acme, portrayed by legendary veteran actor/singer/vaudevillian, the late Stubby Kaye. Christopher Lloyd is Judge Doom, who is hell-bent on punishing “‘Toons” for their crimes. The human actors in the film are largely over-shadowed by the animated characters which carry the film and end up becoming legends.

SPACE JAM

Michael Jordan plays himself as do a bunch of other basketball stars like Charles Barkley, Larry Bird, and Patrick Ewing. Danny DeVito is here, playing the voice of the cartoon alien, Swackhammer. Seinfeld’s Wayne Knight is Stan, one of Jordan’s assistants. Bill Murray also plays himself. Once again, the human cast is fairly overshadowed by the animated cast, which is familiar to anyone who has watched the Looney Tunes. The problem is that all the main voice actors for the Tunes have moved on or are gone, so the voices sound awkward. Kids won’t care but adults will notice. The acting sucks on toast, as laid-back as the athlete actors are in the movie. Bill Murray is the only thing worth watching — but he’s doing Bill Murray and that’s fairly old hat.

WRITING

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?

The story is clever. The writing? That may be the film’s weakest element. It’s not a BAD script. Based on Gary Wolf’s novel “Who Censored Roger Rabbit?”, the script was Disney-fied for your protection, eliminating much of the seriousness and adult portions of what Wolf wrote. Despite this, there are still shades of the novel seen here in vivacious Jessica Rabbit and the “Dip” sub-plot, but rather than a straight murder mystery set in present time, the film is set in old Hollywood and turns out to be more complicated and less hard-boiled. The dialogue is mostly throw-away stuff but the overall cleverness of the idea (Toons living with human beings) is what shines with some great inside baseball for old-school cartoon lovers.

SPACE JAM

The entire thing was a Nike commercial extended out to a torturous 90 minutes. The script sucks. The entire idea works better in a one-minute Super Bowl spot than it does in a 90-minute cinematic experience. The dialogue is crap and the idea that the Looney Tunes live in some secret universe underground, away from humans feels like Roger Rabbit Lite. The script tries to be clever by being meta (Wayne Knight telling Michael to “Get your Hanes on, lace up your Nikes, grab your Wheaties and your Gatorade, and we’ll pick up a Big Mac on the way to the ballpark” IS funny) but there isn’t enough of this kind of wit to stretch over 90 minutes.

DIRECTION

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?

Robert Zemeckis is one of the greatest directors of all-time just for having directed films like “Back to the Future”, “Romancing the Stone”, and “Forrest Gump”. This is, easily, one of his masterpieces, bringing the same wonder, imagination, and breathless execution of action sequences to this film.

SPACE JAM

Like watching a 90-minute Nike commercial. It’s big and loud and colorful and in your face. Joe Pytka does a decent job of controlling the chaos but more than half of it, set in the animated world, is ironically without any style. This might have been in better hands with somebody who understands the material like, say, Joe Dante.

PRODUCTION

WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT?

This is a classic film. I cannot say enough good things about it. From the classic Hollywood setting to the stunning animation (each cel was hand-painted, shaded and lit, for crying outloud…they were actually affected by the light and emitted shadows) to the optical and visual effects shots which were accomplished without the benefit of CGI. Imagine that. The effects crews had to construct the sets a certain way and utilize robotic puppets carrying actual, physical props. These robots were covered with the aforementioned cartoon cels by the effects department. The final product was absolute movie magic. The animated characters looked like they were really there and the human actors interacted perfectly with them. The in-jokes will charm kids but will also resonate with adults (Acme’s gadgets and gags are a riot — including a “singing sword”, an animated sword that looks like Frank Sinatra and sings “Witchcraft”, something which is used to break the tension in a fairly intense scene near the end of the movie) and the normalization of animated cartoon characters living with real people makes for some good laughs. The part where Eddie’s girlfriend, Dolores, tells everyone that Eddie’s brother was murdered by a Toon who “dropped a piano on his head” with a straight face is just priceless stuff. Eddie’s reluctant adventure into Toontown is also awesome stuff. It’s just a great film.

SPACE JAM

“Space Jam” is a giant Nike commercial. It came out as a commercial and expanded when Warner decided to make some of that NBA money. It coincided with Michael Jordan’s return to basketball (following his “retirement” which was basically because he had a gambling problem and the NBA didn’t want to suspend their prime television meal ticket). It’s a shrewd film. Despite the animation budget (it uses the same lighting and shading techniques “Roger Rabbit” did for its animation cels), the movie is just big, loud and dumb. Suddenly, the Looney Tunes put their collective asses on the line by (I’m not even kidding here) gambling on whether or not they can beat hostile cartoon aliens in a basketball game — which is so stupidly arbitrary since they never cared about it before but, hey, Jordan’s in the film eventually, right? It’s just cheap and forced. Watching Elmer Fudd dunk a basketball while wearing a full on jersey and shorts and a headband is just plain embarrassing. It’s the type of cynical film Hollywood idiots make and then laugh about it while spraying each other with $1000 dollar bottles of wine while feeding $100 dollar bills to strippers. It’s just the worst. I don’t even know why there’s a following for this film. And this is coming from somebody who grew up with and LOVES cartoons and the Looney Tunes.

THE WINNER

FINAL SCORING

	Music	Casting	Writing	Production	Direction	Totals
WFRR?	4	4	3	4	4	19
Space Jam	2	2	1	1	1	7

POST-GAME THOUGHTS

It wasn’t close as it turns out. Whereas “Space Jam” was using Bugs Bunny to sell Michael Jordan to the public again, “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” was a homage to the old days when cartoons were zany and delightfully nihilistic. The sheer amount of care and love and detail that went into the latter film shows. “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” is a masterpiece of American cinema.

NEXT WEEK: To be determined…

‘Killjoys’ Review: Mission Infiltration

By

Nicole C

-

August 30, 2019

In this week’s episode of Killjoys, Team Awesome Force heads to Leith on a mission to electronically infiltrate The Lady’s armada.

Mission: Infiltration

On the Herks Supermax, Johnny explains that before Lucy was erased she told him that the hatchling was in fact a clone of The Lady. He shows Dutch and his brother a digital image of what the full baby alien would look like and it has a lot of legs. It gets a lot worse however because a mature alien would be huge. Still, the spidery creatures can’t survive in their atmosphere hence the terraforming and Hullen-human body hybrids. The team needs to find The Lady’s original body and determine that it’s likely somewhere close to her that is well protected. It’s obviously on the Hullen armada. Dutch tasks Johnny with figuring out how they can digitally map the ship in order to find out the body’s location. The Killjoy makes his way to the warden (who is at the workout room) and explains to her his plan of bouncing a low level wireless signal through the armada in order to build a 3D holomap and then beam it back to them. Apparently because Team Awesome Force’s ship is still within the Hullen stronghold, it will act as a receiver that Nucy will get beamed to with instructions. The warden asks him if he needs her system but Johnny explains that would be too risky. However there is a satellite strong enough to do so, only it’s on a military base on Leith. He asks for an escape pod, her undying support, and a few prisoners. They end up picking Calvert because she had apparently been in the Leithian military and was the best candidate on short notice.

Team Awesome Force + Calvert head down to Leith on a mission to infiltrate the base. The base turns out to be underfunded and promotes military entertainment tourism as a source of revenue. They try to blend in with Johnny and Calvert heading down to the restricted section to access the satellite while D’av and Dutch watch their exit above. D and D soon find themselves the center of attention though as members of the military are expected to do some kind of presentation to the crowd. The two improvise terribly.

Meanwhile downstairs, Calvert is able to distract a soldier into thinking she was a ranking officer in order to buy them another twenty minutes or so. She and Johnny make their way to the satellite room where he sends the signal to the armada. Calvert tells the Killjoy that she knows something bigger is going on that he’s not telling her or the other prisoners. At the moment he says that this is a need to know only but to trust that they are the good guys here. It appears to work as Lucy’s systems on the armada hanger come to life.

Upstairs, Dutch and D’av are caught by the real members of the Leithian military and when Johnny tries to intervene, he is apprehended too with Calvert nowhere to be found. Team Awesome Force is held in an interrogation room with an officer informing them that he’s going to get a retinal scanner to ID them himself. Before said officer entered however, Johnny is able to grab a hidden blade in Dutch’s boot to in order to slice his bonds. Once the trio are alone again he is able to break free and gives Dutch and D’av the blade while he goes off to find Calvert because if the prisoner gets caught it exposes all of them. He manages to find her and the two have a small skirmish but she explains that she has a daughter that she’s trying to get back to whom she hasn’t seen for eight years. Johnny ends up revealing what’s really going on and that he can’t let her go home yet. If she gets identified that means The Lady will know that the supermax survived and his team will be in jeopardy and none of them will have a home left to go to. Westerley is just the beginning and The Lady will go after Leith next. However, he asks for just two more weeks and he’ll personally bring her back himself and tell her daughter that her mom helped save the world.

D’av and Dutch aren’t so successful in trying to break their bonds but have a heart to heart. He states that he knows about Johnny’s sabbatical and asks her if she would like him to stay even though his brother will be gone. Dutch asks him if he wants to stay but before he can answer that Johnny and Calvert arrive to free them.

Back To Old Town

Meanwhile on Westerley, Pree, Zeph, and Turin make it out of Old Town into the badlands to a safe house. Zeph is feeling very unsure of herself after her last plan got Fancy abducted. When the ranking RAC officer finally arrives, he explains he almost got caught at a factory but it was worth it because he brought back a live hatchling for Zeph to analyze. She has them hold onto the box while she burns a hole through it to drop a surgical camera and then Turin has to seal up the opening. Once this task is complete, the trio look at Zeph’s tablet but are unable to determine what they’re actually looking at when the camera feed abruptly ends after the creature presumably eats it. The scientist though is able to grab one frame that shows the shape of the alien baby. She realizes that she’s seen it before but can’t remember where. Perhaps it was from old Company records or RAC research files but she’ll need a hacked direct line to be able to search through those because The Lady’s blocked everything in the area to preserve the illusion. They’ll need to go back to Old Town to her lab.

When they arrive the place is nearly deserted except for kill squads out to get them. Pree goes off in search of Gared while Turin and Zeph head to her hideout. The warlord does find his partner but then realizes that the other man is either awake or a mole because the real Gared wouldn’t remember that Zeph and Turin are even Killjoys. The two then have a disagreement because Gared gets upset that Pree didn’t trust him in the first place. Pree in return argued that he was just trying to protect him because their relationship is the best thing he will ever get and he can’t lose it. Eventually the two make up and get a move on. Back at the lab, Zeph is running a search to see if there’s a match with any record for the hatchling and we discover a bit more information about her background on Leith. She ran away from home, went to a scarback monastery to get an education, joined Killjoys and found a new family. Just as the system announces that there are no matches found, a kill squad good finds them and starts shooting. Zeph is able to grab Turin’s gun and fire a killing shot. Unfortunately the glass container breaks and the alien baby gets out. The two Killjoys end up making a run for it and manage to escape luckily. The elder Killjoy ends up sacrificing himself as a distraction by locking Zeph up so that once she gets out she can look for Pree. She does manage to escape, but is soon hunted by the kill squad as well. Just as she is cornered, Zeph clutches a small pendant and prays in fear but is thankfully rescued. Additionally she finally remembers where she seen the image of the hatchling.

Fancy is Freed

On the armada, Khlyen is pretty depressed with Dutch’s death with The Lady super annoyed at him. She informs him that she’s sped up her timetable so that everything on Westerley will be dead within eight days but that’s ok because he no longer cares about anything. FYI her body also isn’t doing so hot. Looks like humans are indeed to frail for her essence.

On a different part of the ship, Fancy is tied up having been tortured. Suddenly though a door opens with a soft electronic humming sound that seems to be leading him somewhere. The Killjoy is able to free himself and follows the sound. He comes across alien cocoons of sorts which could be larger hatchlings growing? But more importantly who has freed Fancy? Why it’s Lucy!! He also ends up saving Zeph in Old Town and they in turn fly to Leith to rescue Team Awesome Force. They arrive just in time as the trio plus Calvert are looking for their escape pod. D’av hugs Fancy and Zeph hugs Dutch. Meanwhile Johnny is freaking reunited with Lucy!!! Turns out when Nucy was uploaded she has a directive for Lucy to access any backups she had offline. She also tells him that Nucy is their baby. Awwwwwwww. Fancy is also able to tell them exactly where The Lady’s real body is on the armada and Zeph enters saying she knows who can tell them how to kill her.

Final Thoughts

Sad Khlyen might be my favorite Khlyen yet! He’s so wonderfully emo with The Lady being his annoying mom trying to make him do homework.
Lucy and Johnny reuniting is so beautiful.
Fancy proves how bad ass he is once again when he freed himself from his bonds.
I most happy for Zeph finally getting a shower at the end of the episode after enduring an extended period of time as the crazy stinky girl.

Killjoys airs Fridays at 10/9c on Syfy.

To catch up on all things Killjoys click HERE.

‘Neon Genesis Evangelion’ on Netflix or: How I learned to Stop Human Instrumentality and Love Myself

By