Square Enix kicked off their E3 2019 Live Event by debuting an in-depth look at the gameplay and story for the first part of Final Fantasy VII Remake.
It looks absolutely bonkers.
Final Fantasy VII Remake will reimagine the original game by “diving deeper into the world and its characters.” The first part of the multi-part remake will be set in Midgar and will present a fully standalone gaming experience.
The battle system has been reworked to incorporate a hybrid system that merges real-time action with strategic, command-based combat.
Two special editions of Final Fantasy VII Remake have also been announced.
The Deluxe Edition, available to pre-order now, contains a hardback art book featuring stunning concept art, a Mini-Soundtrack CD, Summon Materia DLC allowing players to summon Cactuar in game, and a Sephiroth SteelBook® Case. The Digital Deluxe Edition contains a digital art book, a digital Mini-Soundtrack, and Summon Materia DLC allowing players to summon Carbuncle and Cactuar in game.
The “1st Class Edition” includes all Deluxe Edition content, the Carbuncle Summon Materia DLC, as well as a Play Arts Kai Cloud Strife and Hardy Daytona box set (bundled separately), which is available to pre-order in limited quantities from the SQUARE ENIX Store.
In addition, details of the game’s voice cast were unveiled, including:
Cloud, voiced by Cody Christian (All American, Teen Wolf)
Barret, voiced by John Eric Bentley (Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Independence Day: Resurgence)
Aerith, voiced by Briana White (Criminal Minds: Beyond Borders, Occupants)
Tifa, voiced by Britt Baron (GLOW)
Jessie, voiced by Erica Lindbeck (Spider-Man, Persona 5, ThunderCats Roar)
Biggs, voiced by Gideon Emery (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Teen Wolf)
Wedge, voiced by Matt Jones (Breaking Bad)
Sephiroth, voiced by Tyler Hoechlin
Final Fantasy VII Remake will be available first for the PlayStation®4 system from March 3, 2020, with English, Japanese, French and German voiceover and English, French, LatAm Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, Italian, German and Spanish subtitles.
The game was delayed last year in order to further refine its gameplay
Today during Microsoft’s Inside Xbox E3 stream, developer Bandai Namco announced Code Vein release date for September 27, 2019.
Releasing nearly a year later after its original release date, Bandai Name debuted a brand new trailer giving viewers a new look at Code Vein’s story.
Description:
In the face of certain death, we rise.
In the not too distant future, a mysterious disaster has brought collapse to the world as we know it. Towering skyscrapers, once symbols of prosperity, are now lifeless graves of humanity’s past pierced by the Thorns of Judgment. At the center of the destruction lies a hidden society of Revenants called Vein. This final stronghold is where the remaining few fight to survive, blessed with Gifts of power in exchange for their memories and a thirst for blood. Give into the bloodlust fully and risk becoming one of the Lost, fiendish ghouls devoid of any remaining humanity. Wandering aimlessly in search of blood, the Lost will stop at nothing to satisfy their hunger. Team up and embark on a journey to the ends of hell to unlock your past and escape your living nightmare in CODE VEIN.
The final backward compatibility update for Xbox is upon us.
Announced during the Inside Xbox E3 stream, Microsoft announced after this week they have “no plans to add additional Original Xbox or Xbox 360 titles to the catalog on Xbox One.” Instead, the team will now focus on making “thousands of games from all four generations will be playable on Project Scarlett.”
Xbox Original Games being added to backward compatibility this week:
On the way to Jericho City, your plane is shot down by a mysterious storm and crash-lands in the outskirts. Soldiers enforce Martial Law, robots are on a rampage, and a dark, expanding nanostorm looms over the cityscape. In a bid to survive, explore the sprawling, devastated Jericho City.
Fight ferocious threats in brutal, unforgiving combat, slashing and tearing the limbs off your opponents to steal valuable equipment that will make you stronger – strong enough to face the most fearsome, imposing foes lurking in the city. With an expanded arsenal of weapons, armors, abilities, implants, and drones to build your character, and a bigger, more varied and more ambitious world, The Surge 2 challenges you to survive and unravel its hidden secrets.
The release date for Final Fantasy 7 Remake was finally revealed at the FINAL FANTASY VII: A Symphonic Reunion orchestra concert in Los Angeles.
Debuting first on Playstation 4 on March 3, 2020, Final Fantasy 7 Remake tells the story of a world fallen under the control of the Shinra Electric Power Company, a shadowy corporation controlling the planet’s very life force as mako energy. In the sprawling city of Midgar, an anti-Shinra organization calling themselves Avalanche have stepped up their resistance. Cloud Strife, a former member of Shinra’s elite SOLDIER unit now turned mercenary, lends his aid to the group, unaware of the epic adventures that await him.
More information will be announced during SQUARE ENIX LIVE E3 2019 on Monday, June 10th at 6:00pm Pacific / 9:00pm Eastern. To watch the livestream, visit: sqex.link/e3
From the award-winning studio Arkane Lyon, creators of Dishonored, comes an innovative take on first-person action. Deathloop transports players to the lawless island of Blackreef in an eternal struggle between two extraordinary assassins, Colt and Jules. The assassins are pitted against each other on the lawless and frozen island of Blackreef, where one assassin looks to break the cycle while the other works to maintain it. Explore stunning environments and meticulously designed levels in an immersive gameplay experience that lets you approach every situation any way you like. Hunt down targets all over the island in an effort to put an end to the cycle once and for all, and remember, if at first you don’t succeed… die, die again.
Fallout 76 has seen its fair share of press for its issues in its first year of release, but Bethesda is hoping to change all of that with two major updates for the game starting tomorrow.
Releasing in Fall 2019, the Wastelanders will add a free update will introduce NPCs to the world of Fallout 76. Along with the host of human NPCs, new features such as dialogue choices, new quests, faction settlements, and weapon and armors will be a part of the update.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4NbPbkNUbc
Nuclear Winter a Fallout 52-player PvP Battle Royale mode will be released. Players will battle to claim the spot as Overseer of Vault 51. Players will be able to rank up, unlock exclusive perks and build their C.A.M.P. to weather the storm in true Fallout fashion. Any XP or Caps earned in Nuclear Winter also carry over to Adventure Mode or Survival Mode. The exclusive pre-beta sneak peek starts June 10.
Don’t own Fallout 76? A free trial week will run between June 10-17 on Xbox One, Playstation 4, and PC.
Overall, I tend to find it difficult for movies and TV series to capture the reality of someone’s life within a couple of hours or even a couple of seasons.
This is primarily because a story has to be told about said person’s life that is going to be captivating enough to hold the audience’s attention and satisfy their quench for solid entertainment.
I believe that this is a factor that both helps and hurts the latest biopic to hit movie theaters about epic fantasy writer, Master J.R.R. Tolkien (- of The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit’s fame.)
Tolkien (pronounced Tol-keen -as is annunciated out in the film) is a good yet wavering biographical film that falls short of being an epic biopic film in the likes of Malcolm X, Walk the Line, or Hidden Figures.
This is because of an inherent difficulty that was posed to the creators from the inception of the project.
Tolkien is an author.
Although Master Tolkien lived a difficult life, having lost his mother at a young age and having survived WWI, it is the calm mundanity of his story that is the real catalyst of Tolkien’s genius.
That is not to say that his tumultuous times didn’t impact his art in any way shape or form.
The movie does an amazing job of portraying Tolkien’s relationship with his mother, who fueled his passion for mythologies and even influenced his handwriting associated with styles of Middle Earth.
The film; however, mainly focuses on two different aspects of his life: his romance with his wife Edith Bratt, and his Tea Room Club friends from his youth.
I deem this to be problematic in the film for two reasons.
First, the stories are competing story lines that barely interact with each other and provide conflicting tones in the film.
Rather than survey the life and accomplishments of the master author, Gleeson and Beresford’s script focused on the developmental aspects of his youth, forcing the screen time to be shared between his interactions with his friends and Edith.
Each story line provides different tones of what’s going with the characters. Every time Tolkien is with his friends, there is a lighthearted comedic quality that is expressed with witty banter and a random dance sequence.
With Edith, we see various emotions coming from Tolkien, ranging from love to jealousy. Keep in mind that this is also done with a framing device of Tolkien in trench warfare getting feverish during terrible attacks (as almost a commentary on war), which culminates in reuniting with Edith.
It’s almost as if there are different personalities in this film…..
My second issue with the movie is that it glances over the humdrum of his daily life.
Remember, Tolkien was a writer, philologist, and professor. He read and wrote a lot, creating languages and composing the most insane details that you could possibly come up with in world building. (The man literally created his own measurements – like the metric system- for Middle Earth)
That is what is appealing about Tolkien. It’s his attention to detail and absolute devotion to his craft, along with the fact that he was able to hold a full-time job and raise a family, all with a pipe and a curious smile on his face.
Tolkien was widely devoted to his work. He drew phenomenal maps – both geographic and contours maps (which also serve as fantastic art pieces) for each of his different stories, wrote intricate genealogical lists and histories, and created languages with legitimate grammatical rules for different species within Middle Earth.
He also infamously fought with his publishers over the books being split into three smaller novels, as well as the design of his book covers.
Not to mention that he also had a life changing friendship with CS Lewis.
All these interesting factoids are completely skipped over in the film, as it ends with Tolkien returning home and acclimating back into his life, all while reconnecting and eventually marrying Edith.
This, of course, is very difficult to film, which could explain why they focused on Tolkien’s friendships and love life rather than him at the peak of his literary career. Granted, who wants to watch someone type and read for an hour and a half straight.
To counter that, the director, Karukoski, could have explored these moments with some imagination and intrigue, using abstract imagery and surreal experiences as a counter to filming a period piece undertone in the film.
The cinematography and visuals are well done also.
The movie uses a framing device of Tolkien in the trenches of WW1 for about 75% of the film, which had the most vivacious visuals.
Here, his military guide Sam (reference guys!) is trying to guide a feverish Tolkien out if the trench during gas attacks. Every time there is a gas mask, a visual reminiscent of the Nazgul appears on the battlefield. This is about the most surreal that the movie gets.
Imagery of a knight in shining armor, reminiscent of Aragorn or Isildur, also makes an appearance.
Overall, the movie is decent enough to watch and will definitely inspire hardcore Tolkien fans to pick up a book or pen, but not the three part biopic that it could have possibly been.
Good Omens is the story about an odd couple, Aziraphale (An Angel) and Crowley (A Demon), and their attempts to prevent the oncoming apocalypse. Photo Credit: Amazon Studios and BBC Studios. The Following is a spoiler-free review.
Good Omens is a fun apocalypse comedy that’s more than a faithful adaptation of the novel written by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. It’s a fun mini-series filled with magic, odd yet witty characters, zany situations, impossible moments of impossibility, and memorable dialogues.
A dream project adaptation that was in developmental hell for decades, Terry Gilliam attempted a movie adaptation for years but his best efforts were rejected in the early 2000s because of the situation regarding 9/11, and the fact that nobody would want a movie about the end of the world at that time.
It wasn’t until 2015, when a dying Terry Pratchett mentioned to Neil Gaiman at a meeting, that he’d like to adapt the book into TV. Especially, given what was happening with Netflix and the various streaming TV series at this time. Terry sadly passed shortly after and his request thus became a final wish. As a result, thanks to the efforts of Neil Gaiman, and the sponsoring of Amazon Studios, the six-episode mini-series was finally greenlit and produced.
You can listen to us talk about episodes 1-3 of Good Omens in detail on TheWorkprint podcast’s TV Talk. Available on iTunes and GooglePlay. The first ten minutes are spoiler-free.
Reasons Why It Works
Good Omens is nearly perfect in execution because of its team. Neil Gaiman himself served as showrunner, adapting the best bits and adding parts he and Terry thought about adding for a possible sequel, yet cutting the parts that didn’t fit for a six-episode run for TV. Above everything else, Neil made sure the series was exactly as he and Terry would have envisioned it.
Likewise, the cast is a proven list of actors (Martin Sheen, David Tennant, Jon Hamm) who all showcased stellar performances adapting the witty and memorable characters of the series. Most importantly, the show had a major production (Amazon) finance, produce, and distribute the series which allowed for a lot more freedom in storytelling but also granted the show a well-contained budget. Making for an excellent mini-series that was, likewise, allowed to distribute via BBC thanks to their co-sponsorship.
Likewise, I covered ‘Good Omens’ back at NYCC 2018, and the series was just as hyped there amongst fans as it is currently, now that it’s released. I can’t stress enough that this is a great series.
The Story at the End of the World: Plot Summary
The story kicks off with an unlikely friendship. When Aziraphale, the angel guarding the East Gate at the Garden of Eden, and Crowley, the demonic snake who tempted Eve with the apple, befriended each other and lived on earth together for six thousand years. This includes experiencing important historical events throughout Earth’s history, as the duo grew a rapport and even bailed each other out of terrible situations. Playing their respective sides, yet also, helping each other when they’re down.
But when the Anti-Christ is finally born and ready, threatening the Earth by possibly beginning the final war between Heaven and Hell, both best friends realize they rather like it there. Crowley, for its many stylings, music, and tastes over the years, and Aziraphale, who’s made a quaint life for himself as a bookkeeper, one with a large gourmand level taste for food.
Together, they realize if they equally raise the child both good and evil, it inherently would cancel it each other making the child completely neutral? Or so they think… until they realize years ago that it’s the wrong baby they’ve been treating as the Anti-Christ.
Now, the two have mere days until the end of the world, and must figure out how to stop it, where the Anti-Christ is, and what’s this deal with this giant book of prophecies?
The Perfect Cast
There are so many memorable characters in this series it would be a disservice not to do the rundown on them. Especially Aziraphale and Crowley, whose best friendship is very much the heart of this series. Even going so far as having a unique 28 minute cold open at the begging of episode 3 which showcases their friendship all throughout time.
So the following are the main cast of characters in Good Omens…
Aziraphale (Michael Sheen): Is the flaming sword angel wielding Angel who guarded the eastern gate in Eden — at least he was for a time. Since then, he’s gone onto watch over humanity at a distance, keeping tabs on things for Heaven, including Crawley. He’s a fan of good food and finer tastes, though has a somewhat corny and often hilarious sense of style. Though it’s all, much like himself, very good natured, but is still susceptible to secrets himself. He owns an antiquarian bookstore with original classics — including various books on prophecies throughout time.
Crawley (David Tennant): Is the demon who tempted Eve with the apple in Eden. He represents a lot of moments of evil temptation throughout history, though has learned to take a backseat over time as he’s realized the existence of both him and Aziraphale at the same location, can often neutralize each other’s good/evil biddings. As such, Crawley has grown to enjoy the more vibrant things in life. He’s celebrated in hell for false reasons, as much of it is deeds humanity had done to themselves. Likewise, he’s responsible for bringing the Anti-Christ to a diplomat’s family (reference to The Omen), and subsequently, doesn’t do a thorough enough check to realize they misplaced the baby. That said, as you’ll see during the series Crawley is more accepting of the neutral nature of good and evil. He’s seen doing a lot more good than we give credit.
Gabriel (Jon Hamm): Plays the Angel Gabriel, one whose sole focus is on letting the apocalypse happen so that Heaven can wage its war. He’s meant to be a single-focused leader, who doesn’t recognize his own ignorance quite often. He represents the authority of Heaven in the series, whose organization has shown that it’s less interested in humanity and more interested in winning the war.
Anathema Device (Adria Arjona): Plays the last descendant of Agnes Nutter, a witch whose long book of prophecies has proven to be 100% accurate. Much like her family, she’s lived her entire life following and interpreting the extensive book, which has led to a large fortune of wealth and prosperity for her family. Anathema is special, not only is she extremely brilliant and talented, but she’s also the generational witch amongst the Nutter family who can possibly prevent the apocalypse. Whether through fortune, blessings, or hilarious circumstance, she accidentally bumps into Aziraphale and Crawley and tries to do her best to prevent the end of the world. Though it’s difficult for her to break away from following the book’s destinies.
Witchfinder Sgt. Shadwell (Michael McKean): Is the last officer of the Witchfinder army. He’s Scottish, dirt poor, a bit eccentric, and very possibly: utterly mad. He’s also, unknowingly to Aziraphale and Crowley, their only actual human agent assisting the celestial duo — unceremoniously representing both sides of Good and Evil. His major story is the recruitment of Newton Pulsifer, the same witchhunter who burnt Agnes Nutter at the stake.
Newton Pulsifer (Jack Whitehall): Is the descendant of a family of witch hunters who for some reason, has terrible luck. He’s originally an engineer but one who can’t seem to hold a job, and so struggling to find himself, ends up shortly recruited into the Witchfinder army and finds himself soon working with Anathema.
Adam Young (Sam Taylor Buck): The misplaced anti-christ who finds himself at the center of this story. He’s not a bad or good person, though is finding his powers manifesting.
The Voice of God (Frances McDormand): Serves as the voice of God and narrator.
It’s Hilarious
It’s best to go into this series knowing that it’s not meant to be taken too seriously. Instead, what you get is a story about people who are supposed to be serious and have their goals and lives together — yet, shortly realize; nothing is what it’s supposed to be.
There are jokes everywhere. From Crawley and Aziraphale’s relationship over the years, to unbelievably cunning wardrobes, to impossible reality shifting Anti-Christ wish fulfillment, and most importantly: character-driven accidents and ignorance. Which happens a lot in serious, yet often in hilarious fashion.
What’s meant to happen almost never happens in this series. Yet, the story finds accidental wit and cunning coming from the littlest places, from people of least expectance or experience. The grand scheme of God’s divine plan… is sort of ineffable yet also contrarian — but all the sillier.
How ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’ was for this story is very much how ‘Good Omens’ treats its parodies about the end of the world. Presenting Heaven and Hell are opposites sides of a coin, whose bureaucracies and policies often find itself rather contradictory. Organizations whose single-mindedness about bringing on the end of the world — often comes with a somewhat disregard for its human denizens on the Earth. Which is why Crowley and Aziraphale are so refreshing, as they care because they’ve very much become part of humanity.
Overall
This is an excellent series with little-to-nothing to complain about. There isn’t much to say except that if you enjoyed the book, Neil Gaiman, Doctor Who, or any of the cast of characters — you’ll probably love this series. A second review will be released covering the series filled with spoilers, along with a podcast of episodes 4-6.
Final Score (Episodes 1-3): 9.5/10
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZSXlNRRoGU&t=8s
You can watch ‘Good Omens’ streaming on Amazon Video
COBRA KAI Season 2, Episode 7
“Lull”
Available on YouTube Premium
GRADE: C+
One of the underlying themes of YouTube’s “Cobra Kai” has been war and conflict. More specifically, the carelessness and unintended consequences which lead to war and conflict and the effects of such on those involved. From the first episode of the series, we’ve witnessed Johnny (William Zabka) as he builds his new Cobra Kai dojo with the intention of not only reclaiming control of his life but to also agitate Daniel LaRusso, the man who beat him in the All-Valley Tournament over 30 years ago. As a former “soldier” of Kreese’s Cobra Kai “army”, Johnny’s scars run deep. But, Johnny’s also made strides, embracing change and smoothing his hard edges. The same can’t be said for Kreese (Martin Kove) who opens “Lull” by visiting Daniel (Ralph Macchio) at Miyagi-Do for the purpose of telling him that his students had better be ready because a war is coming between his dojo and Cobra Kai. “Peace”, he says “is just a lull between battles.”
As much as Daniel preaches “Karate as self-defense”, he knows, deep down, that things cannot stay that way and sets out to train his students to…defend themselves…so, I guess he’s still right? So, while Kreese has Cobra Kai’s students hunting one another in the “Coyote Creek” woods (for a show set in Southern California, a lot of time is spent in the woods), Daniel has one student stand in the middle of a ring and orders his other students to attack that person one by one, like in a Bruce Lee movie. This is all well and good, but all of this feels like extraneous set-up and padding to get to a fairly obvious conclusion.
The amount of training sequences and montages are, of course, welcome in a show about martial arts but it’s also to the show’s detriment, burying at least one story that deserved more attention. Daniel’s wife, Amanda (Courtney Henggeler), has now grown tired of Daniel shirking his duties at LaRusso Auto and doesn’t like “waking up in an empty bed”. It only gets worse when Daniel trains his students inside a giant walk-in refrigerator because it’s too hot to train outside. How Daniel was able to procure access to a walk-in refrigerator is anyone’s guess and I’m still wondering how extreme cold is better than extreme heat (Daniel’s actual explanation for both is “You can’t choose what environment you’re in when somebody attacks you”) but here we are, watching kids kick and punch inside a walk-in fridge. The entire ordeal causes Daniel to be late for an insanely important meeting involving the promotion of Anoush (Dan Ahdoot), a plot point so critical, the actor playing him has been seen all of two seconds the entire season and isn’t even featured in the episode.
The most compelling story in “Lull” is Cobra Kai training in the woods where it’s revealed that Hawk (Jacob Bertrand) was the one who stole Miyagi’s Medal of Honor and wears it, like a trophy, around his neck. This leads to a pretty great battle between Miguel (Xolo Maridueña) and Hawk “for the title”, so to speak, a confrontation which culminates in a fairly goofy climax where “Stingray” (series newcomer Paul Walter Hauser), one of the newer Cobra Kai members rises up from a pile of leaves and steals Miguel’s headband after monologuing him to death. It’s highly unbelievable but “Stingray” has been in need of some sort of character validation.
Ultimately, “Lull” is sunk by the Miyagi-Do side of things. While Amanda’s struggles seem true-to-life, her issues with Daniel and the troubles over at LaRusso Auto just seem to come out of nowhere, so it feels less like something critical and more like something that was invented for the sake of plot movement. Last week’s “Take a Right” was filler done right: surreal, entertaining, and emotional fare which, while having no real relation to the overall plot or narrative, still served as a personal lesson to Johnny. “Lull” isn’t a terrible episode of YouTube’s “Cobra Kai”. It’s just safe and smacks of the writers biding their time as we move, inexorably, toward a finale which has all but promised the audience epic fireworks.
OTHER STUFF THAT EXISTS IN THIS DOJO
We haven’t spoken much about “Stingray” as a character. When Johnny was repairing a mirror that broke in his dojo (a result of his fight with Kreese in the opener), “Stingray” (“Ray” was his real name when we were first introduced to him) was the guy who sold him the mirror at a hardware store. Hausen, a stand-up comedian, is great as “Stingray” and plays him like the total dweeb he is and is all in with the character. Like the neurotic Demetri (Gianni Decenzo) of Miyagi-Do, he serves as the comic relief within Cobra Kai, something that seemed to clash with ideals of both Johnny and Kreese. It was nice to see him finally win over Kreese, at the very least.
Johnny boots Kreese out of Cobra Kai. Again. Something tells me that this isn’t really the end of Kreese — especially with the seemingly casual, throwaway line, “There were bills to be paid while you gone”. Oh boy…
While I’m a fan of the older cast interacting with one another, the confrontation between Kreese and Daniel in the cold open was just so-so and by-the-numbers. I mean, a physical fight might have been more interesting here. Instead, it’s just more of Martin Kove hamming it up and acting cryptic and sinister while smoking a cigar. Better yet, I almost wish we had Kreese exploring the dojo (and maybe taking a look at a framed photo of Miyagi) before Daniel arrived. Instead, we got what we got: Kreese whisper-talking about war and conflict and then excusing himself. It’s neat but not nearly as compelling as it should have been.
Robby (Tanner Buchanan) and Sam (Mary Mouser) finally have their first kiss in this episode. Am I the only one who thinks that there’s zero chemistry between the two?
And I’d buy Miguel’s “We’re not all assholes” line if he didn’t tell Johnny that “Kreese taught us that this is real life, not a tournament” just 2 minutes earlier. Still, Miguel returning Miyagi’s medal to Robby goes a long way for a fairly conflicted character.
Godzilla: King of The Monsters is good Kaiju Battle fun though little else. Photo Credit: WARNER BROS. ENTERTAINMENT INC., LEGENDARY PICTURES FUNDING, LLC AND RATPAC-DUNE ENTERTAINMENT LLC.
‘Godzilla: King of the Monsters’ is what you get when you have a series of A-list actors do their most typecasted and stereotypical performances, then let loose a series of gigantic monsters to fight in the backdrop. Entertaining, but pales in comparison to the giant fighting monsters. Though one thing is definitely for certain: this series certainly isn’t afraid to destroy everything — including its own story.
Review
Written and directed by Michael Dougherty (Krampus), this iteration of Godzilla takes a step back from the more acclaimed series of the 2014 reboot, or another spin-off sequel set in the same universe ‘Kong: Skull Island’. Instead of focusing on character narratives or compelling motivations, what you have in this movie, is an homage to the Godzilla mythos: it’s longstanding cinematic history, and it’s even wider cast of monsters.
I think it’s beautiful that I can’t tell you what you anything about this film without first having some preconceived notions about Godzilla. Truly, this movie is such a fan service for those traditional Godzilla fans that it’s shocking the level of greenlighting that was made. I’m talking morphology of the creatures, their own zoology, mythological backstory, and special abilities.
This is why you watch this film because the monsters are breathtaking.
Likewise, the battle sequences are epic. And everything regarding the creatures just looks fantastic. Plus, we get a special treat in that it’s some of the Kaiju favorites: Godzilla vs King Ghidorah. Rodan vs Mothra. We even get to actually know the between a few of these creatures and how they communicate. Minus the spoilers, there’s even a bit of… Kaiju romance? Or perhaps it’s a friendship? We don’t really know or care, we just like seeing these beasts share a screen.
‘Godzilla King of the Monsters’ features the Russell family from the first movie. Mark (Kyle Chandler), Emma (Vera Farmiga), and Madison (Millie Bobby Brown) Russell are a broken family as a result of the catastrophe at San Francisco. When Godzilla utterly annihilated the entire city, and the family had lost their son and brother. They soon find themselves involved in the Kaiju problem when giant monsters start awakening from Monarch controlled stasis cells around the world, as the ‘ORCA’, a device created by Mark and recreated by Emma after he’d destroyed it within the last movie, has become heavily utilized with the Monarch organization to control and awaken the creatures. Monarch again services as the scientists who run the show, ones who’d tracked and kept Godzilla, along with the other mega-sized titans, a secret.
When a sudden environmental terrorist organization takes ORCA and the Russell family hostage, Mark has to return to the public eye and work with the Monarch organization to save his family, and by doing so, possibly save the world…
It’s A Bad Story.
Look, I’ll be frank, a lot of the critics and fans alike mostly hated the plot of this movie, and I can’t blame them. It flip-flops and overexplains things for convenience, and doesn’t try too hard to really hook an audience nor surprise. However, we do get the best out of its cast which is weird to say… as a lot of them are known for their signature ‘thing’ and they don’t disappoint in doing that this movie.
Kyle Chandler will get upset, make bold statements, and rally both his team and family.
Vera Farmiga will go back on her word and betray a loved one, change her mind, and sort of redeem herself.
Millie Bobby Brown, will scream a bunch and be a tortured young teen, who’s complex yet kick-ass.
Ziyi Zhang will make an offhanded comment about honor and Asian history.
Thomas Middleditch will be in an award position of authority.
Ken Wanatabe will pronounce the word Godzilla as ‘Godjira’ with a thick accent, and then go crazy with praise over the creature like most of Japan.
Charles Dance will be Tyrell Lannister yet again, then forget why he’s in this movie.
And O’Shea Jackson Jr. is going to remind everyone that he’s more than Ice Cube’s son, by playing a black soldier, a role his father Ice Cube is often pretty well-known for playing.
And I can continue but I think you get the point. The problem is the story. The script is very lazy. It’s a lot of explaining and exposition to fit in these signature moments listed above, which if you haven’t noticed: is all typecasting. It’s the roles that each actor is somewhat known for. The script goes everywhere to fit these beats in and it’s incoherent but sets up enough for the epic battle Kaiju sequences.
Plus you get to see your favorite actors basically do their catchphrase that’s not a catchphrase.
The Take
It’s Giant monster battle fighting featuring a cast who do all your favorite things. I don’t think the movie is meant to be taken too seriously. If anything, the monsters are the true stars.
8.4/10
You can watch ‘Godzilla: King of The Monsters’ in theatres right now
The final season of Syfy’s Killjoys premieres on July 19 and it’s going to be hard to say goodbye to Dutch, D’Av and Johnny. The show follows a trio space bounty hunters (nicknamed Team Awesome Force) who work for the Reclamation Apprehension Coalition (R.A.C.) in a corner of the universe called the Quad.
At the end of season four, things are not looking good for the city of Old Town as the nefarious Lady seems to have made it out of the green. She’s been quite busy changing the lives of our beloved characters while undoubtedly working an evil plan for universal domination. Johnny and Dutch (as Yala) are together with her as a bartender at the Royale and him employed at a local plant. In the meantime D’Av (who is still a Killjoy) doesn’t know his own brother with Turin and Gared working together, and the local authorities looking for Jaq Kin Rit (whom we know is D’Av and Aneela’s son). Speaking of which, we are still unsure if Aneela made it out alive although her prospects seem grim with the green collapsing.
Here is your first look at Killjoys season five:
The official press release from Syfy:
SYFY today announced that KILLJOYS will return for Season 5 on Friday, July 19 at 10/9c. Joining Hannah John-Kamen (“Ant Man and The Wasp,” “Ready Player One”) as Dutch; Luke Macfarlane (“Mercy Street,” “The Night Shift”) as D’avin; Aaron Ashmore (“Cardinal,” “Veronica Mars”) as John, are returning fan-favorites Mayko Nguyen (“Cracked,” “Hudson & Rex”) as Delle Seyah, Thom Allison (“22 Chaser,” “Kim’s Convenience”) as Pree; Sean Baek (“The Art of More”) as Fancy; Rob Stewart (“Slasher,” “Incorporated”) as Khlyen; Patrick Garrow (“Pure,” “12 Monkeys”) as Turin, as well as Kelly McCormack (“The Naddeaus of Duquesne Island”) as Zeph.
ABOUT ‘KILLJOYS’:
Killjoys follows a trio of hard-living bounty hunters – Dutch, John, and D’avin. Working for the Reclamation Apprehension Coalition (RAC), they work in a four planet-and-moon system known as the Quad. Taking on warrants to apprehend people or property, RAC Agents are given high authority by their agency. As part of their job, they swear to remain neutral in conflicts and owe no allegiance to any system, government, or other organizations. With their pasts coming back to haunt them, the trio will have to work hard to keep themselves, and their friends, alive.
“Killjoys” is produced by Temple Street, a division of Boat Rocker Studios in association with Space and SYFY. Creator Michelle Lovretta serves as Executive Producer along with Showrunner and Executive Producer, Adam Barken. Additional Executive producers include David Fortier, Ivan Schneeberg, Stefan Pleszczynski and Karen Troubetzkoy.
UCP (Universal Content Productions) distributes the series worldwide.
Catch all four seasons of ‘Killjoys’ now on VRV before the final season airs on SyFy on July 19 at 9PM CT.
Brightburn is a movie you watch for the gory horror and playful superhero subversion, asking the audience: “What if the best of us, instead, choose to be the worst of us?”
Produced by James Gunn (Guardians of the Galaxy) and written by his brother Brian Gunn, and cousin, Mark Gunn. This Gunn show (couldn’t help myself, sorry) tells the story of child Brandon Breyer, a child who is a play off the Superman mythos and Clark Kent origin story.
Changing names for obvious copywritten purposes, the movie is marketed as an ‘evil Superman child’ story. Yet the comparisons are utterly misleading, as shortly into the film, the plot’s motivations seem shallow and somewhat contrived. It does, however, execute well on two particular things:
First, it provides a horror revision of an iconic superhero representing the American spirit. This movie is about knowing Superman’s origin story and withering in disgust — as we see revolting decision-after-decision — how easy it could’ve been to abuse these powers. How the American dream is of finding a good-natured and redemptive superhero — lets us play blind to some harsh truths: that some people are just bad.
Second, it represents the worst of the American Spirit. As this super kid is very much the story about every privileged white skinned bully in America — those who feel entitled to power over other people, women’s bodies, and most importantly — to the rights to do as they please without consequence. Brandon Breyer is meant to represent the same types of children who shoot up schools. Though it doesn’t feel proper because…
This movie does a poor job of explaining what makes Brandon (Superman Child) evil.
Which is pretty much it’s biggest flaws and why the film is divided amongst audiences. There is little in terms of character motivation despite a well-established plot set-up and world. Though it’s not the actors… but rather, a critical flaw at the turning point of this movie. In my opinion, the only real flaw (though it’s a massive one) was a single writing mistake that was doubled-down on — which really hurt the story for this film.
Early in, the movie shows that they were going with a ‘voices in the head’ and ‘psychopathic tendencies’ approach to Brandon’s character motivation. Brandon is evil because he’s going through puberty, and there are changes occurring not only to his body, but also ones that are making him hear voices via the spaceship he was sent down from — which is conveniently sending him messages into his brain now that he’s a teen. Why it’s wrong… is because the earlier scenes set up Brandon as a normal boy coming into this realization that he is special. Brandon isn’t a bad person, but for some reason, the movie forces us to make him evil, and become somewhat entitled by this knowledge.
Because once Brandon realizes who he is the movie stops trying and goes straight into the horror tropes. Fun to watch, but then loses its potential as a great film. The flip too conveniently happens and it’s unearned and jarring in terms of character personality switch. Still, there was a lot of good to take away.
The Horror
This movie is full of stalking, slasher, and grotesque horror. It’s a pretty good blend filled with cringe-worthy moments, where bodies are maimed and messed-up in precise detail. Remember, Brandon is basically a God with super abilities, so the intricacies in his punishments are often cruel.
You see the tiny precisions of just how far this child from another planet is willing to go to get what he wants, and make people suffer for not getting what he wants. Lots of body horror involving body parts, but also the ability to stalk a victim and force his will upon them rather easily.
It’s brutal and often creepy. Especially given how a 12-year-old child who feels entitled is forcing people, including women, to bend to his wants or essentially get murdered. All in brutal fashion.
The Story
The gist of its premise is a couple adopt an alien baby that fell onto their farm from a spacecraft. Everything is happy, until the boy reaches puberty and receives a bizarre message imprinted into his brain. Whereas Superman is meant to “Save the World” Brandon is meant to “Take the World”. Oddly enough, the movie has a very passive town — as the people of ‘Brightburn’ are too quick to forgive and too dumbfounded to realize what Brandon actually is. It’s an almost gripe at the south, as well as infowars fanatics and conspiracy theorists.
Where It Could Have Gone
As of right now, the movie’s expected to flop. However, director David Yarovesky, and some of the producers left enough in line within the movie for a sequel. The character, Frank Darbo, from the movie Super (Played by Rainn Wilson) was also featured in a quick cameo – as was a slew of evil superhero parodies such as Wonderwoman or Aquaman. In an alternate ending featuring Emmie Hunter’s character Caitlyn. She had with her, a robot arm, and was angry and ready to seek revenge, possibly setting up a character arc parodying Cyborg from DC.
Basically, there were chances for a bunch of supervillain horror movies but it seems that given the movie’s lack of success it won’t happen.
The Take
Overall, I actually liked Brightburn quite a bit. It’s what it is: a horror superhero movie. The only real problem is that it’s a shallow one — though the techniques are pretty much on par with your standard horror movie. Likewise, I cringed in revulsion in some of its gory moments and thought the scary parts were executed well — I just found the lack of superkid motivation disturbing.
At BookCon 2019, author Joe Hill and executive producer Jami O’Brien were on hand to promote NOS4A2, a new show on AMC based on Hill’s bestselling book of the same name. The story follows two characters, Vic McQueen (Ashleigh Cummings), a young woman with the supernatural ability to find lost objects and Charlie Manx (Zachary Quinto), an immortal creature who feeds off the souls of children. This is definitely a different type of vampire story.
Attendees were treated to a few scenes and the first five minutes of the pilot episode. From the footage shown, NOS4A2 undeniably has an air of creepiness as we see children become monsters as a result of Manx draining their life force through his 1938 Rolls Royce Wraith. On the panel, Hill discussed how he knew O’Brien was the right person to bring his novel to the screen back in 2017 when AMC was developing the show. He was shown a script penned by her and it displayed so much depth that he was instantly seized. Hill believed that O’Brien was someone who understood how to swiftly, efficiently and empathically draw a character. From that moment on he felt that the show was in really safe hands.
O’Brien also talked about the early discussions they had on adapting the book. She remembered clearly Hill telling her then that there was nothing scarier than a candy cane in July. The executive producer held on to that as a way to frame the horror in the story and was an important touch stone in the writer’s room.
Hill admitted that quote was actually ripped from a Lon Chaney’s saying that there was nothing funny about a clown at midnight. He goes on add that a lot of good horror is a juxtaposition where you take something we find comforting and heart-warming and then ripping the rug from under it to make it seem eerie and unsettling.
“Everyone loves Christmas music in December, you know when it comes on the radio you start thinking about the tree and presents and good times with family. But if you’re out in the woods in the middle of summer and are on a hike and are a little bit lost then you come across a derelict shack and the windows are all boarded up and there’s flies buzzing around the place and you hear watery Christmas music coming from inside, you’re gonna turn around and walk the other way,” he said.
The panel also talked about a big difference in the adaptation. The novel it spans decades of Vic’s life, while the television series focuses on just one decade. The portion of the book that covers Vic’s childhood O’Brien loves because it sets up her environment, her family, her powers, and it’s when she first encounters Charlie Manx. She didn’t want to lose that section nor did she want to play it as a flashback with a child actor. It was important for the show to have the same actor play the character through that period and so they aged Vic up to eighteen when she sees the Shorter Way bridge for the first time. The bridge is the mechanism by which the protagonist is able to find lost things, she asks a question and it takes her to the answer on the other side.
Both Vic and Charlie Manx share similarities as they are able to take objects or places from their imagination into the real world. The two also came from traumatic family backgrounds, but the difference between them is that Vic is empathetic and compassionate. She is able to forgive while Manx is not. Interestingly enough as well, Hill comments how Charlie doesn’t view himself as antagonist because from his perspective he’s saving children from abusive, neglectful homes. When he’s done with them he takes them on a trip to Christmasland where the kids are now the monsters and no one can ever hurt them again. They will never know sorrow, regret, or unhappiness.
“You can give the story just the tiniest little twist and he seems to be the hero. Part of the problem though is that Charlie has a very loose definition of abuse. When Charlie looks at mothers there’s almost no mother by his definition that wouldn’t be abusive, neglectful, horrible. Even the act that is required to make a child immediately disqualifies a woman from being viewed as a decent person.”
O’Brien says that Quinto was very interested in the idea of Manx as the hero and exploring that. He was invested in the character’s mission framed in a positive light and on his backstory that is explored a bit in season one.
NOS4A2 is certainly a twist on the vampire story and looks to be a promising tale of good versus evil in set in a world that we know yet slightly skewed.
Swamp Thing as he rises from the bog. Pilot available on the DC Universe application. Photo Credit: IMDB.
In the pilot episode for DC Universe’s Swamp Thing, an investigation into a peculiar outbreak at the town of Marais Parish, Lousiana, leads to a mystery involving plant life and the wealthy Sunderland family. As not everything is what it seems. And something sinister lies beneath the depths of the swamp.
We talk about the ‘Swamp Thing’ pilot in TV Talk episode 12. Available on iTunes and GooglePlay. First 5 minutes of this podcast are spoiler-free.
REVIEW
Swamp Thing has been a longstanding favorite for DC that really stood out in the 1970s and 1980s. It’s an essential character to the DC mythos, though is often overlooked in popularity for the modern superhero era – as the creature is unsightly, and the stories, are very mature and gritty in terms of its content.
Created by Len Wein, writing about the titular hero has become almost a rite-of-passage for some of the best creators in comic book history. Alan Moore, Grant Morrison, Brian K. Vaughan, Scott Snyder, and Mark Millar – had all worked on Swamp Thing at different points in time in their careers.
All four creators had gone onto work on some of the most memorable groundbreaking classics that people are familiar with. Titles such as Watchmen, Batman’s The Killing Joke, Doom Patrol, The Invisibles, Kick-Ass, Marvel’s Civil War, Y the Last Man, and Saga.
So, I can’t stress enough that Swamp Thing is loaded with a history of fantastic comic book writers. Which is why this series is primed for TV given the number of stories they could potentially tap into.
Fans of the comics should be happy with this pilot as it sets up a potentially great story. To those new to the series, what I can say for you is that the episode is a mix of body horror, murder mystery, and environmentalism – through the environmentalism part will come later most likely.
The series takes on a mostly dramatic tone, as there is a lot of death and mystery to figure out about this town. The acting is mostly on point and straightforward, with major kudos to Crystal Reed, Andy Bean, and Virginia Madsen.
Where the show really stands out, however, is its blend of special and practical effects. Especially, in its usage of body horror. This show will make your stomach churn, though not out of gratuitous moments of grossness – but rather, because the blend feels too strangely real at times, as body parts and limber trees do unspeakable things you’ll be surprised about.
Overall, an engaging series for fans of horror and comics. I’d watch it if you like mysteries and shows like The Walking Dead’s early seasons in regards to the body horror.
RECAP
SPOILERS AHEAD. Recap below.
In the swamps outside Marais Parish, Louisiana, a small boat is traveling the waters in the evening, ordered to drop off packages of seemingly harmful dynamite into the waters of the swamp. But something is wrong, and we understand this right from the beginning. It’s not the gators or the mysterious creatures of the dark at night… It’s the swamp itself.
Soon after, Abby Arcane (Crystal Reed) an investigator for the CDC is called into look at this strange outbreak of vegetation that’s getting people sick in her hometown of Marais Parish. There, she meets a girl who’s coughing up strange gunk – the kind you’d find at a swamp. Abby then runs into a scientist who snuck into the ICU, later revealed to be Alec Holland (Andy Bean).
Looking into the incident where the same material was found near a local’s house, Abby visits with her old friend, sheriff’s deputy Matt Cable (Henderson Wade), where they discover the little girl’s father – revealed to be the man on the boat in the opening – completely turned into a plant. Coincidentally, Abby finds Alec here investigating as well, which raises their suspicions.
Alec reveals that he was a researcher and biologist originally looking into the odd plant material for Avery Sunderland (Will Patton), the town’s richest man who virtually owns everything. Alec was fired by Avery once he’d discovered how he was being used. How fast and infectious the plants he experimented on for Avery were growing once a chemical was added.
Alec also suspects the same chemical has been dumped into the swamps and that it is what’s causing this outbreak.
Abby recruits Alec into helping and he shows her his lab in the swamps. The two work together throughout the episode and get to know each other well. We even see subtle hints at an attraction and similar tragic backstories.
Their investigation leads to a meetup with Liz Tremayne (Maria Sten), a reporter who shares that people had been going out in the boats at night by the plants. IT’s also there where Maria Sunderland (Virginia Madsen), scorns Abby about her daughter’s death – whom she deems murdered her.
This leads to a moment where Abby and Alec share with each other about their mutual histories. When Alec goes to look for a lead, however; he is shot several times, right by a boat filled with the mysterious chemicals – which soon explodes, as he falls into the water. He crawls as he is dying in the swamps, surrounded by muck and swamp water goop.
When Abby looks for him she finds a monster cover in moss, which she flees from, and no signs of Alec.
Pictured: Harvey Guillen as Guillermo. CR: Russ Martin/FX
Most don’t live for saying “Goodbye”. There’s such permanence to the phrase, even though we know in reality that’s not always true. I personally try deploying alternative ways of expressing the same sentiment. “Talk soon”, “Au Voir” and my personal favorite, “Bon Voyage” are a few examples. Alas, with a heavy heart that we wrap on the inaugural season of What We Do In The Shadows (FX), a show that is bringing pure unabashed comedy to the Golden Age of dramady. In this season finale, we see what happens when the immortal must lay to rest one of their own. As for the show itself, “See You Soon!” (Getting another season.)
We’re first greeted with the sight of what is done in the light: dark shit. This is the side Familiars don’t show you. Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) chops up victims and mop-ups blood but never gives up on his dream of one day being turned a vampire by his Master, Nandor the Relentless (Kayvan Novak). “Roll Tide!”
It’s nightfall. Guillermo is giddy about receiving the mail. Hey, unless it’s an Amazon box or a love letter, I ain’t giddy about the mail so this must be something special. ‘Parently, Nandor’s test results have come in. No, nothing bad. Can vampires, being the horn bags they even get VD? No, this is his ancestry results. He did not beg for this. He didn’t even ask for it, though he was suspicious of stealing his semen. Now, the thing with that is that it turns out, Witches crave Vampire ejaculate for their spells. No, this cause for a celebration. Master has 200,000 living direct descents living at the moment. Take that Ghengis- oh wait. He does have one living in Staten Island which Nandor is giddy about. He’s akin to a kid. He’s petulant, has some insightful moments, but is ultimately loveable.
Calling a meeting to reveal the good news, Nadja and Laszlo bristle at the fact that Guillermo got everyone (himself included) DNA tests. Colin (Mark Proksch) happily accepts his, and with a self-appointed drumroll, it literally says that he’s 100% white. There isn’t much of a shock to the system itself to those outside of the recipient. He reminds Nandor that Ghengis Khan has over 16 million living descendants today. Oh, Colin, you beautiful wet blanket. Meeting adjourned.
Guillermo later that night takes a crack at his own results. He’s Mestizo, as am I. He’s got a bit of this and that in him, but a funny fruit grows on his Family Tree. The Dutch side of him is named after Van Helsing (hissss). I mean, he finds it funny because they are a myth, aren’t they? Therein lie the seed for the second season, but if the seed of a peach is non-edible, isn’t he… Feeling sick to his stomach at the thought, he realizes he had Garlic for lunch. Ain’t life just a peach? {Strike One}
As the Night Lives On, Laszlo (Matt Berry) is preparing for the shorn of his one true love, Nadja (Natasia Demetriou). It’s topiary people, get your heads out of the gutter (but slightly keep them in). Laszlo is commemorating his love by crafting a very front and center topiary for her. His employing Guillermo was probably then a bad idea as Nandor bought (not brought) wooden garden stakes for tethering down the bush for crafting. I mean, come on, would Valasquez prepare his canvas with a coat of cyanide?
Armed with nothing but an earless teddy bear and nascent gumption, Nandor, flanked by Guillermo and Colin, approaches his Great (times 30) Granddaughter with a flight up to her window and rapping on the window. Ninety-four can be young for a vampire, so little does Nandor know, the real world mortality doesn’t play in their sandbox. Shocking the poor woman who is 94 to death, Nandor places the blame on both Colin and his Familiar. It’s not the best limelight (hisss) that Nandor is in, but it does show that no matter how many lives you’ve lived, you can still be a petulant child.
At the abode, Nadja indulges in literally hidden pleasures as she pulls out of the archive woodcuts of her lust for life, Gregor (Jake McDorman), who is consistently decapitated with each life lived. This is the stuff you would undress the mattress for. Or hide under. Now imprisoned in a Poughkeepsie Psychiatric Facility stemming from the fifth episode, his mind awakes once more. It’s all due to a paean with which she sings, lamenting her situation.
Her siren song hits his ears and with near Herculian strength (or that of one on PCP), breaks from his constraints, snapping a dude’s neck, busting through a window and stealing a car. I mean, sometimes when you call a dog, they listen… and we all know where dogs are descended from…
Later on, outside of the church, Nandor has summoned his roommates for attending a family funeral. Laszlo and Nadja immediately rebuff him. As Laszlo points out the stained glass, “It’s the Jeebus-Man!” Good line. Colin is more than willing to enter as Energy Vampires can not only day walk but also attend as they are feeding grounds for boredom. Preach! It makes him not only one of the coolest vampires but also one of the strongest in the series going forward.
Living up to his name in a time of need, Nandor convinces them to all go inside to dire consequences.
In the church, they are all burning and bleeding from their eyes. They maintain respect for the dead until Nadja and Laszlo are done with it. This is one of the funniest scenes because as Colin dips out to watch tv, Nandor’s hands are aflame. Guillermo attempts to extinguish with Holy Water, which is basically putting a gas fire with regular water. In fact, it probably makes it that much worse. I call that joke as flames. {Strike Two}
Retiring to their tombs, Nadja and Laszlo settle in for a night’s slumber with the passion of a Hallmark movie. It’s just another night.
However, roaring along the freeway is her steed, her knight in… Jeeze, Hallmarked a telephone pole. Nope, he picks himself up, puts on his best suit and tie (which is a motorcycle helmet) and slams the throttle for the course on Nadja. This type of bestial fervor could only be reserved for Vikings having sex on a sinking ship. However, his Call of the Undead awoke Nadja and though she tried her damnedest to shoo her Centerfold off, Laszlo was a bit quicker.
It turns out Laszlo was the dispatcher of Gregor the entire time. Whether it was Street Theif to Naval Officer to Steed Warrior to Mouse (spoiler, he Lazzie was the Puddin), Laszlo was there at all turns. The reason being was for love. That four letter word which causes revile and reconcile. In a bit of tenderness or growth, Laszlo grants clemency on the poor soul and allows him to live out his life. Is Laszlo losing his touch?
With their love reignited (probably a phrase), Nadja loves Laszlo’s topiary of the celebration of undying love: a leafy sculpture of her likeness. It’s his magnum opus.This can only be ‘topped’ by a now dejected Gregor (Jeff) wanting to just ‘Wanting to get on his bike and go.’ He’s immediately lopped off at the perfect angle by the what I can only assume is piano wire, really taut piano wire. Laszlo’s not losing his touch, but now more refined. Hey, there’s no accounting for Fate.
Ending this already amazing series is where we started, Guillermo and Nandor. As Guillermo once again tucks his Master in, his Nandor has a bone to pick. Guillermo ducks the question of his ancestry, however, Nandor DRIVES the point home. He tried to save his Nandor, but only nearly tried to kill him, albeit by accident. He already is on record for killing two other vamps. Nandor relentlessly assures his Familiar that he all is not that all bad, but proceeds to berate him. challenging his intelligence. He also throws one year on his sentence as being a Familiar. The fever is in him now.
He’s been treated like garbage the entire season. In an attempt to box up what Laszlo chastised him for, he picks a few up wooden daggers. Shuddering at his thought and throwing them off, all spike the trio of their painted portraits like shuriken. {StrikeThree}
THE TWILIGHT ZONE Season 1, Episode 10
“Blurryman”
Available on CBS All-Access (new episodes uploaded every Thursday)
GRADE: A-
So much has been said about this new “Twilight Zone” series. There’s a great love/hate for it. The people who love and defend it do so with the same fire and passion as those who absolutely hate it. I mean, check it out, as of 6:53 AM (PST), the IMDB trolls have already voted “1 out of 10” enough times to set the overall average score at a “5.7”, which is fairly ridiculous. The episode isn’t even close to a score like that. In fact, none of the episodes are rated accurately on IMDB. I’ve said this much already. I don’t usually talk about this in my reviews. You’re really not supposed to. But I’ve found that, with this week’s episode (and season finale), entitled “Blurryman”, there’s really no way I can avoid mentioning what other people think of this show…mainly because the finale is self-aware, paying homage, not only to itself, but to its long, storied history.
Last week’s trailer for the show seemed to tease the story of two characters being haunted by a mysterious figure the show was calling “Blurryman”. Except the show opens a bit differently: a writer by the name of “Adam Wegmen” (Seth Rogen) is struggling to fix a script that’s been sent his way. He’s berating himself for being unable to think straight. He calls himself a terrible writer — until, BAM! He hits it. He starts the story just after the world has ended. It’s fixed! And he’s ready to go out with his significant other (Betty Gabriel of Jordan Peele’s “Get Out”) to celebrate in the city…which he discovers has been completely destroyed, much like the world in his story. “It was only a story,” he says, almost inaudibly. His girlfriend tells him that they need to get to a shelter because “The Reapers will be coming soon.” Cue Jordan Peele who gives our requisite Twilight Zone opening monologue — except, he cuts it short because the monologue just isn’t working. So, the director yells “CUT”, bells ring, Peele calls for his writer, Sophie (Zazie Beetz) and the two have a discussion about simplicity, genre writing and how it all applies to what Rod Serling originally envisioned when he created “The Twilight Zone”.
It isn’t long before the opening monologue has changed to something more to Peele’s liking and we try again…only to discover that, unbeknownst to everyone on set (including Sophie), the new monologue, in a veiled manner, describes a future ordeal that Sophie is about to experience, something having to do with the inability to run from something which “lurks, blurry, in the background of her show”. Everyone the set thinks Sophie’s being a smartass while Peele and Rogen absolutely love that Sophie’s frustrations are turning to fun on the set. Everyone’s in the moment — except for Sophie who has no earthly idea how she became the center of her own episode. Peele tries to assure her that it’s “probably a prank for a blooper reel” but that it’s pretty cool that “she’s in her very own episode of The Twilight Zone right now: a writer who can’t face her fears”. But what does Sophie fear? She’s jaded, having watched this show as a child and as she grew up.
As Sophie attempts to do damage control around the set, she’s told that the director is furious because she was obviously referencing “the blurred figure in the background of every shot of the episode” which Sophie’s just got to be behind since she was successful at pranking the crew with the new monologue. Except that Sophie’s even more clueless about the entity than she is about the cue cards being changed and, pretty soon, Sophie is stalked by the figure she sees on the editor’s monitor. I don’t think I can say much more about the episode because that would be absolutely criminal. If you want to know how it ends, I’ll post the spoiler in “LOST IN THE ZONE” and you’re free to discuss it.
One of the great things about this episode is that it’s a return to form, of sorts. The premise and the antagonist are goosebump-inducing. The name of the entity/episode, alone, is enough to make you turn your lights out and settle in on the couch with a blanket you can use to cover your eyes when things get too intense for you to watch. This is something that has been effectively missing in a series that was astute at balancing the supernatural “campfire tales” and science fiction argle bargle with moralistic storytelling, something Sophie points out to this “version” of Jordan Peele, who seems intent on telling a story in a way that’s far too simplistic than what “The Twilight Zone” actually deserves, in Sophie’s opinion.
But the best thing about “Blurryman” is that it’s all Meta from top to bottom. Meta, as we know, can be to one’s advantage or detriment depending on the execution. The writers and producers who dabble in it live and die by the sword. When it’s done lazy, you’ll end up with something like that episode of MTV’s “The Osbornes” where Ozzy’s son murders his dog in his sleep (sorry to remind you of that bullshit). When it’s done right, you end up with a flawless diamond like The X-Files’ “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space”. Sure, you might wonder why the Blurryman is so violent and hostile, given the big reveal at the end, and the climax and resolution might be seen, by some, as too silly and self-serving but it’s one of the only twists in the new series that you cannot possibly see coming and it also works as a near psychological self-examination, a beautifully meditative analysis of itself and what the “The Twilight Zone” is or can be.
I dare say that it’s easily one of the Top 3 episodes of the new series and one of the greatest episodes ever produced over all four incarnations of the show’s history.
LOST IN THE ZONE
Obviously, there’s a lot to unpack here. Bear with me.
First, let’s talk about the ending. Of course, here there be spoilers…click and swipe to read it all: Sophie is literally lost in “The Twilight Zone”. As a little girl, she used to watch the show and she was obsessed with it to the point where her parents worried about her. As she grew to be an adult, she lost that childhood wonder and became jaded, a cog in a pop culture machine who wrote for profit and not to satisfy her inner fangirl. The 5th Dimension calls her back to her childhood, using “The Blurryman” as a messenger. When she’s finally forced to face her fears, it turns out that the figure is none other than the late Rod Serling (brought back via CGI and voiced by Mark Silverman — more on him in a moment), the creator of the original show. Serling takes her back to The 5th Dimension through a series of doors as Serling opines that “throwing away childish things may mean you’re closing your mind, not opening it.” Beautiful moment.
More on Mark Silverman (SPOILERS – CLICK AND SWIPE): Silverman has played the voice of Rod Serling in both the Florida and Disney’s California Adventure versions of “The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror” as well as on NBC’s “Medium”. Silverman is a great voice actor who is as talented as he is kind, as he takes the time to frequently interact with his fans. I was overjoyed to hear him reprising Serling’s voice here and finally got the opportunity to speak with him about it following the episode. There’s nobody else I can imagine who is able to both imitate Serling’s trademark voice AND do it justice.
It was nice to see Jordan Peele do more than just his “narrator” role. His interaction with the various actors and crew was fun to watch. I’ve seen him on Key & Peele and, here, he’s very playful and seems to be having some fun playing himself.
The show’s climax is done in black-and-white which dovetails perfectly into CBS’s new option which allows viewers to watch the show in black-and-white via their streaming service, CBS All-Access.
There are far too many Easter Eggs to count here but here are some:
A young Sophie watches “Time Enough At Last”, an episode which finds Burgess Meredith all alone in the middle of a nuclear holocaust with all the time in the world to finally read every book he’s ever wanted to…until his glasses break and he can no longer see.
The concept for “Blurryman” is not unlike the first season finale of the classic Twilight Zone called “A World of His Own”, another meta-tale of a writer whose characters come to life. In that episode, Rod Serling breaks from his normal role as “The Narrator” and also interacts with the characters in that episode.
Whipple is seen all over the televisions in this episode.
“The Blurryman” has been seen in each and every past episode of the new “Twilight Zone” — so says the editor speaking to Sophie. And she isn’t wrong. The only thing was that the figure wasn’t exactly “blurred” in those episodes…but they were dressed the same…that’s all I can say. Anything else would have me turning the text white. But it’s nice to see that the episode pays homage to all the other eps we’ve seen so far.
So, these might be my final adjusted rankings for the ten episodes presented this season:
1) Replay 2) Blurryman 3) The Blue Scorpion 4) Point of Origin 5) The Wunderkind 6) The Comedian 7) A Traveler 8) Not All Men 9) Six Degrees of Freedom 10) Nightmare at 30,000 Feet
Thank you so much for sticking around to read my reviews for “The Twilight Zone” each week. I also cover “Cobra Kai” and, hopefully, I will put up more content for you to read soon! See you next season!
Archer dares to go where the show has never gone before... in space. Photo Credit: FXX
For the past few seasons, the critically acclaimed animated series ‘Archer’ has gone off a deep end of sorts. Originally a parody of ‘Spy Espionage’ meets ‘Arrested Development’, the show ever the years has kept its core characters yet changed its location again and again. From detective noire to Vice drug lords, and even classic Hollywood – the show is bold enough to be creative, yet smart enough to know it’s characters are what we’re tuning in for. So, this happens yet again within ‘Archer: 1999’, the season where Archer goes to space…
I talked about the first episode of ‘Archer: 1999’ in the latest episode of TV TALK over on TheWorkprint podcast. Available on iTunes and Googleplay.
And while technically, most of the last few seasons have been one horribly awful parody of what Archer sees in a coma dream – one can’t help but wonder about this one’s tone. As Archer in space feels as true to the original seasons in terms of characterization. Everyone fits their mold rather well… with the exception of Pam, who’s a giant rock monster alien this season. And while the series has always operated best as a show taken out of its place in time (often, the series feels like homages to the 50s and 60s, James Bonds and Johnny Quest, or perhaps just one big bad Mad Men parody) – Archer in Space gives us a lot of the open room to play around with these characters and sets up for your everyday space adventure of the week.
The Following is a spoiler-free review of Barry Season 2. Photo: HBO
If you haven’t watched HBO’s Emmy award-winning dramedy Barry, you don’t know what you’re missing. It’s a unique comedy that executes well on various levels of writing and acting, which is greatly due to the stellar work of SNL alumni and former South Park writer, Bill Hader.
What Barry is Really About
Barry is the story about an incredibly skilled veteran turned hitman-for-hire who decides to hang up his life of killing to pursue an acting career in Los Angeles – the city of reinvention, where the sins of the past don’t matter so long as you’re talented – let alone, beautiful. Barry stumbles upon an acting class while tailing a target marked for assassination. He finds a group of supportive community theatre actors who accepts Barry for who he is (or who they think he is), and whom Barry grows an immediate liking towards – especially Sally, a woman Barry obviously is smitten over.
Finding himself at home for the first time in a long while, Barry gives up being a killer to pursue life as an actor – leading to obvious complications – as Barry’s past is impossible to fully escape from.
The show strikes a surprisingly even balance of action, comedy, and drama within its 30-minute runtime. The different tones never feel out of place, and often, ends up driving the show forward – leaving the audience in suspense and wanting more. For two seasons, Barry has been trying his best to balance both worlds: talented mafia assassin and struggling theatre actor. You’ll often find him at hard crossroads between his personal romantic life, professional auditions, and his never-ending encounters with his past as an assassin. Above everything else, Barry seeks personal acceptance. It’s a story about whether-or-not it’s possible for a killer to live an honest life.
The tone of the series feels like a funnier version of the show Dexter, in that both are about complicated yet talented killers who seek normalcy away from their secret lives. However, each series takes different approaches. While Dexter’s drama is in the struggle to find himself, Barry’s comedy comes from the character finding themselves through acting. Because it’s evident that life as an actor will never really play out for Barry – leaving the audience constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Season 2
Like last season, Barry tries his best but can’t escape his history. This season the stakes are raised, as mob violence threatens not only Barry’s life but also those whom he’s grown to care about: Sally (Sarah Goldberg) and Gene (Henry Winkler). The season also really builds Gene up as Barry’s mentor, a relationship which is both helped-and-hindered in growth, by Barry’s other father figure in his life: Fuches (Stephen Root).
In terms of cinematography, the show has a very distinct style that really goes out of its way this season. Episode 5: ‘Ronny/Lilly’, directed by Bill Hader himself, is a brilliant stand-alone episode shot in a two very long takes. With a continuous camera that goes about providing great comedy, choreography, and set design – for an episode that’s shockingly funny that still manages dramatic tension. The ‘Ronny/Lilly’ episode is basically a short film within the series.
Episode 8: ‘Berkman > Block’ serves as an excellent episode on all fronts, continuing to shock the audience with this perfect blend of extra violent comedy blended with action. It also has a tense climax that brings the story home dramatically, and again, is directed by Bill Hader, himself. I’d even go as far as to compare it to Breaking Bad level of execution – especially given that both stories feature a bad man who is borderline redemptive. We root for Barry the same way we did Walter White, hoping that his life will be better. Yet, what makes ‘Barry’ original is that it never forgets that the series is a comedy. Utilizing dramatic tension more for hilarity and never ceasing to shock its viewer when it’s able to – as the show doesn’t necessarily care about the dramatic arcs. It’s funnier with set-up and payoffs that often go askew.
One of the best things about the show is the writing. We see a very earned breaking point for a lot of the characters, particularly Barry. Unlike other HBO’s shows where a protagonist devolves into a murderer in little amounts of time; Barry does a good job with it’s eight, short, 30-minute episodes. There’s enough of a character arc that approaches emotional baggage in a great way; how someone could be upset over feeling phased out and useless. The anger that might erupt – when a person who has done nothing but seeks identity for two seasons, slowly finds their world stripped away.
Without spoilers, it’s one of the best parts about the writing of season two and is a great story arch showcased this season.
Character Progression for Season Two (Minor Spoilers Here)
As an actor, Barry channels into his past this season, allowing him to access the emotions he hasn’t tapped into in ages. He remembers moments of his history serving in Afghanistan, the love and support he’d gotten from his old army compatriots. Most importantly, we see Barry’s origins before we met him in the series. Moments that defined very much who he is.
Sally, likewise, is fantastic in season two. She has a surprising level of depth this season, showcasing a bizarre level of self-awareness yet also, naivete. This season, she leads a showcase for the class where instead of enacting scenes from movies – they choose examples from their lives. Sally’s arc, discussing her personal history with abuse – in surprisingly powerful moments captured on screen. Sarah Goldberg does an excellent job with Sally this season, showing a smart but damaged character with serious layers, who levels out Barry rather well this season not as an object of affection or plot foil, but as an equally messed up persona, in for the ride.
NoHo Hank (Anthony Carrigan), is a positive delight this season, playing the gay Chechen mob boss with a fabulously attitude. What makes Hank great is that he’s the last person you’d expect running a mob. So this season, we delve into that and into his absolute obsessed with Cristobal, his fellow Bolivian mob boss and obvious object of Hank’s affection. His story this season is an oddly lighthearted yet darker storyline, one involving a mafia civil war and a Burmese Crime Lord. It’s probably one my favorite misdirect and directs this season – though you’ll have to watch to understand why.
Detective Loach (John Pirrucello) continues looking for who murdered his partner, Janice. He’s not too far on the tails of Barry driving some great conflicts for this season.
Gene, takes a lot of breaks from the acting class this season as he tries figuring himself out after the loss of his lover. He reconnects with his estranged son this season and as previously mentioned, really shines as Barry’s mentor. There’s a lot to Gene this season in regards to his dramatic storylines and his scenes, along with Barry’s, do a great job evening the scales of drama and comedy.
Fuches, meanwhile, continues being consistently himself this season. We get a lot of history between his and Barry’s relationship and see how he served as Barry’s father figure. Albeit one whose self-interests remained paramount above anything else.
Conclusion and Season 3
Season two of Barry really shows the character grow and want to embrace life with Sally and Gene. He also improves as an actor this season, showcasing hints that it’s possible for him to change and be a different person. One worthy of redemption. Yet, the show never steers away with how dark Barry truly is, nor shies away from the secretly brutal past he carries with him. We root for his redemption but are also slightly terrified of his lethality. As Barry continues to make more morally ambiguous, and often very messed-up, choices. Leaving us to feel sympathetic yet scared that Barry might not, in fact, be a good person.
Barry Season three will most likely premiere in Spring 2020. Receiving great accolades for season two, season three is already greenlit and most likely will be granted a larger production given Hader’s proven skills as a director. Expect it around March again next year. Though be ready for some serious shake-ups, as a major cliffhanger ending occurs by the end of season two.
COBRA KAI Season 2, Episode 6
“Take a Right”
Available on YouTube Premium
GRADE: B-
Daniel stares at the wreckage of Miyagi-Do in pure disbelief, currently unable to summon the same patience Mr. Miyagi had when he constructed this sacred place. Something we witness courtesy of a flashback, showing a very patient Mr. Miyagi (his face is never shown during the sequence and we only see him from behind in the climatic wide shot) as he builds what Daniel (Ralph Macchio) will eventually call “Miyagi-Do”.
Last week, we saw Daniel confront Johnny (William Zabka) over the vandalism of Miyagi-Do, something Johnny didn’t know about (and, for some reason, cannot emphatically state on this show), so Johnny’s making his students do push-ups until somebody admits to trashing LaRusso’s dojo — but not before he gets a phone call from Bobby (Ron Thomas) one of his old Cobra Kai buddies…it seems Tommy (Rob Garrison) is dying.
The title of this week’s episode of YouTube’s “Cobra Kai” is “Take a Right” and that’s fairly apt considering that it’s an arbitrary left turn (or “right turn” in this case), a strange filler episode for a series that, up until now, really hasn’t needed it. Nevertheless, we see Johnny reunite with Bobby, Tommy and Jimmy (Tony O’Dell) for “one last ride” which is only because “Tommy’s doctor is allowing him to sign out for 24 hours” and “he can’t rot in this place”. Yep. The hospital is signing off on the virtual kidnapping of a patient. Insurance and liability be damned. As writer Max Landis once said in “Wrestling Isn’t Wrestling”, “You better hang on to your suspension of disbelief because it’s about to take a fucking beating.”
The four not only go on one last motorcycle ride (rented bikes, I guess, it’s never explained), they also hit a dive bar and quaff beers, which ends up with them getting into a big, silly bar fight and laying waste to every geek in the place. All this does come with a nice Hallmark Movie moment, though: Tommy and Johnny talk about their respective pasts. Tommy admits to joining Cobra Kai because he wanted what Johnny had: popularity and guts. Unfortunately for Johnny, save for an increasingly shaky restart of Cobra Kai, high school was where he peaked. Additionally, he’s still hung up on what he had rather than what he has, which prompts Tommy to tell Johnny that he still has what he doesn’t: time to fix things and make things right. How Tommy is supposed to have the strength to run around, kicking ass and drinking beers when he looks like death is about to take him (and eventually does) is beyond me but it’s clear “Take a Right” isn’t interested in medical accuracy or specifics and is being fueled solely by nostalgia.
It is, however, a hell of a lot more interesting than the Miyagi-Do story which is literally comprised of Sam (Mary Mouser), Robby (Tanner Buchanan) and Demetri (Gianni Decenzo) trying to figure out how to lift Miyagi’s stone pillar up off the ground the entire episode, which they magically end up doing after an inspiring speech by Daniel about working together as one. In reality, it’s because Demetri and Chris (a Cobra Kai refugee played by Khalil Everage), use fulcrum physics to pry it off the ground via the use of shovels. How in the hell they weren’t able to summon the superhuman strength to lift the 2000 pound boulder before this is anyone’s guess (and Demetri is so thin and lanky, I don’t even buy him having the strength to open a jar of peanuts) but the music swells, Robby and Sam look on with their mouths slightly open as if they’re witnessing an absolute miracle and all we’re missing is a post-show PSA with Ralph Macchio teaching us about the science behind the creation of a makeshift lever.
Despite this stuff, “Take a Right” is still very much worth watching even if it is this goofy. The episode does have its highlights. Seeing the Cobra Kai gang back together after all these years is a blast and it’s nice to see them all at peace with the past and themselves, post-Kreese (Bobby’s a pastor, Jimmy’s a family man, etc.). But while the cat’s away, the big rat comes out to play: Kreese (Martin Kove) is, of course, behind the entire Miyagi-Do fiasco and we see him attempting to turn his students to the dark side in Johnny’s absence. It was nice to see Miguel (Xolo Maridueña) dissenting from Kreese, something that’s been in the works since the second season started. While “Hawk” (Jacob Bertrand) has shed who he once was and has quickly become Kreese’s pet viper (something I discussed, at length, in last week’s review), Miguel still has his humanity and tells Kreese that attacking an opponent while they’re down is not something an honorable fighter does. The scene is beautifully blocked with Kreese explaining that real life is much different than a tournament. Scoring points is one thing but winning a fight on the streets is the difference between life and death. Kreese getting between Tory (Peyton List) and Miguel is symbolic as hell.
And although it was predictable as the sun rising and setting and just a bit ham-fisted (Queen’s “The Show Must Go On” blares loudly, setting the scene as paramedics show up in the middle of the woods and jump out of an ambulance in slow-motion), the death of Tommy is heart-wrenching and the pain on Johnny, Jimmy and Bobby’s faces as they watch the paramedics declare their long-time friend dead is agonizing. It’s nicely intercut with Kreese taking full control of his dojo, instructing his students to practice punching as he waxes on about the bond between all members of Cobra Kai. This moment comes just after Miguel apologizes to a seemingly benevolent Kreese in private as he assures Miguel that they’ll both help get Johnny “back on track”. Of course, we all know that’s not going to be the case. The old guard of Cobra Kai has just died…and the new lions are poised to take over.
This week’s entry of “Cobra Kai” has a lot to like. It stays consistent and keeps the larger issues simmering while the show deviates from the norm. In doing so, “Take a Right” definitely goes for broke and, despite the sillier stuff borne of the need to please the oldest “Karate Kid” fans, it mostly succeeds.
OTHER STUFF THAT EXISTS IN THIS DOJO
Another episode, another reference to “The Karate Kid, Part III”. Daniel telling his students that he was briefly a part of Cobra Kai is a nice touch — even though it doesn’t really amount to much. Hopefully, it means we’ll see the return of Terry Silver in Season 3.
While I’m on this kick: Daniel tells everyone that it was “1985” when he he joined Cobra Kai and returned as the defending champ at the All Valley Tournament. I have no idea how that’s possible. It’s implied that he’s 15 in the original film, which takes place in ’84. He goes to Okinawa in the summer of ’85 (I think) and when we re-join him in the third film, he’s driving and signing lease agreements and it’s implied he’s ready for college. Anyone care to explain this timeline? There’s a great breakdown here.
The song playing during the Cobra Kai biking scene is, what else? The same song that accompanied the introduction of Cobra Kai on the beach in 1984. Awwwwsyeah. Listen to that 80’s goodness!
Tommy’s most famous line in the original “Karate Kid” film was “PUT HIM IN A BODYBAG!!! YEAH!!!” Fittingly, the final shot of the show is of Tommy…being zipped into a body bag. 🙂 Nice touch.
I have a confession to make. I’ve always wanted to attend an orgy. Now that air is cleared, I’ve wondered more about the preparation of an event that will inevitably be defiled ten times of sin six ways ’til Sunday. Who buys the booze? Who buys the snacks? Is there MDMA? If so, who is the supplier? If there is that, what’s the status on the water bottle supply? Are there mood bringers and objects with which to get off to? Will there be a cocktail hour? Will there be an after orgy chocolate for each and everyone (which by the way, is the best). I am not a vampire though and if you mess up on anything, a Vampire will not you live it down, especially with an orgy. Welcome to the Biannual Vampire Orgy, hosted by a troupe of the most incompetent vampires this side of the Mason Dixon Line.
It’s the night before and preparations are in order. The atmosphere abounds in excitement. Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) is the project manager of this biannual night of debauched carnality, armed with a clipboard and a militant fear of failure. This isn’t mere group congress- this is THEE social event of the year. This is something you literally buy a damn calendar for crossing off the days until it happens… though Vampire sex is different contingent on whom you ask. According to Nandor (Kayvan Novak), it’s akin to pizza- even if it’s bad, it’s good. Laszlo (Matt Berry), ever the epicurean reaches far more into the hedonic side and claims it can be a sea of bodies and can last years. Nadja honestly is ambivalent about the whole thing in terms of pleasure. She just wants to throw a bloody fangtastic sex romp, for the stigma for holding a poor orgy can have lasting ramifications. This perfectionism has her riding Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) hard (as a taskmaster, perverts- it’s still the night before!)
In a heartwarming moment, Nandor swiftly comes to the rescue of Guillermo, as he claims only he can boss about the Familiar. Upon his eyes lit up, we now know that poor Guillermo is thirstier than all of the inhabitants of that house and probably will never get what he so truly desires.
On the list of things to still acquire for the par-tay, a succulent Virgin is paramount. I mean, you wouldn’t have a birthday without a piñata, right? Alas, Guillermo’s gourmet list is nearly bled dry, especially with the Christian High School group. Having gone to Catholic High School, I found the joke so on point.
Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) prepared his own quarters for things to cum. He’s applied creature comforts, like a photo stolen from a Holiday Inn room. He also went HAM with a strobe light and speakers that will pipe nothing but Acid Jazz, which actually is one of the deepest cut music jokes I’ve heard or seen in a show or movie ever.
Back in the main holding area, where the carnage (that seriously is the best word) will take place, Guillermo is tasked on narrating the action, like a damned sports announcer. Why? Because mirrored ceilings wouldn’t translate. They are vampires, after all. As they go through a theatrical ‘dry run’, the dude seems overwhelmed. This is only galvanized by the power couple of Nadja and Laszlo haranguing him for doing a piss poor job with getting things together. Frustrated and on the verge of being killed by what may come out of his mouth, Guillermo takes a five. It’s true, both Las and Nad had been kind of dicks. This Orgy has to go on, so Nandor goes to ‘console’. I say console because Nandor, whom I think of still as a Labrador in his current state, pretends to listen to the kid grousing while ducking any actual conversation.
Meanwhile, Laszlo rummaging in the attic for items that will make him happy during this Feast of Fuck comes across a blast from his past- the oeuvre of pornography he’s starred in. This is actually an interesting take on the vampire mythos. Hear me out. You kind of figure if you can live forever, or pretty close to it lord (hisssss) willing, you would think you can basically do anything. With that in mind, how wouldn’t you want a film career that spans a century?
Laszlo’s second life started at the turn of the Twentieth Century, when cinema was at its infancy. As he said, there was moving pictures… a week later, there was porn. That pretty much tracks. Being cast from a silent adult film, making a turn in the Roaring Twenties with ‘The Vampire Jollies’ (1927) and ending in the Nineties with ‘Seinf**k’ (1993), Lazzie-boy figured that this would be female viagra, so he decides to show these, through multiple media mediums, to his wife. Is that the best idea?
Meanwhile, as Nandor and Guillermo shop for decorations for the gala at, they find one of Guillermo’s oldest running friends, Jeremy. This guy might as well have ‘TAKE ME’ tattooed on his forehead as far as Vampires are concerned. A clearly salivating Nandor invites Jeremey to the party, but Guillermo tries with all his gusto (which isn’t much) to cockblock. This is apparent when Jeremy has one of his patented nosebleeds. This drives Nandor insane to the point of nearly orgasming. After tasting the remnants of Jeremey’s accident, Nandor is Relentless. He needs to have him for the party. What means more to Guillermo, poor, poor, Guillermo? The fealty of his friendship or wanting to be converted for the countless things he’s done for his Master?
At the house, as Laszlo basks in watching the cinematic celebrity of his exploits in pornography, Nadja checks out. She finds it criminally boring. She confronts him about this. To be fair, anybody that obsessed with their work should be given a reality check. Laszlo, clearly butthurt (though I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that in his 1978 flick ‘A Walk On The Wilder Side’), retires to his coffin with a hurt non-beating heart.
Guillermo, aflush with trepidation and guilt phones Jeremey and invites him to the shindig.
It is now the night of the Orgy. Last minute preparations are underway complete with a statue of the moment of conception of Nadja. There’s also a ‘fluffer’s chill out room’, a selection of cock-rings lain out on animal fur and an electric chair for roleplay so you know this Orgy is going to be LIT!
Trying to coax her husband out of his coffin, Nadja tries to make a case that if he doesn’t show up, it could be the debacle from which they cannot recover. This throws an entire wrench in her plans, as she wants a perfect party. I’ve been there. I’ve been stressed about throwing parties and horrible with it. That’s why I don’t undertake that anymore. Apparently in this world, if you’re just a regular animal bat, it’s because you’ve thrown a poor orgy and are too ashamed to reemerge as a vampire. I actually like that hot take on it.
With guests arriving, like a Chinese Jumping Vampire (awesome), a Badabook (just watch it) and fucking Mister Fifties from Episode Four (complete with burn scars from the club explosion… gotta love smart writers), Jeremy also arrives. He’s brought snacks, even though he IS the main course. The moment the Virgin is announced, all are enticed even more. This could be a good night.
While Guillermo is not feeling so hot with the fate he may have resigned his friend to- Nandor nearly nude, looking like what I can only describe as a warlord with a ribbed horse cudgel pinioned by thigh stilts and battle armor announces his arrival. This is total Nandor.
Colin Robinson, with a BDSM getup that I can only describe as something Lady Gaga would fear donning actually holds court over a few vampires… but then arrives the wet blanket.
Descending to the main floor, Laszlo goes on a stirring proclamation of how in his porn, something was missing. It was an undying love for his undying wife. Ugh. Nothing kills the vibe or boners more than those four letters.
As the unfortunate many begin towards the exit, Nadja has one more trick up her sleeve. BEHOLD… the Virgin? Nope. Jeremy is in flagrante delicto with Constantine, the gimp of Nadja and Laszlo. Their milk has officially gone sour. Guillermo and the party both witness it and nothing will ever be the same for anyone.
As the night winds down, Guillermo falls down, spilling a fountain of blood that could have been put to good use. Constantine, Jeremy and Colin throw down on a game of Apples to Apples… and in bat form, Laszlo and Nadja get down- so not all is a lost cause.
Ultimately, the lesson here is that holding a gathering is tough- an orgy is nigh impossible. I would hold this as a masterclass in how NOT to hold one… but if Vampires out there want a Plus One, I ain’t denying.
THE TWILIGHT ZONE Season 1, Episode 9
“The Blue Scorpion”
Available on CBS All-Access (new episodes uploaded every Thursday)
GRADE: A-
Back in college, I had dorm mates who were, shall I say, more “adventurous” than I. While I spent the weekend relaxing or hitting the downtown area to visit various shops or just spend time with my girlfriend, they would take frequent trips to Los Angeles and San Diego and go club hopping and drinking. One weekend, in particular, they took a trip to Tijuana for their usual shenanigans. When my roommate returned, he showed me his new acquisition: a simple silver switchblade with what appeared to be a handle with blue marble embedded in it and a gold dragon embedded in the marble. My reaction was one of kind acquiescence: “That’s pretty cool”. But I wasn’t impressed. Then he showed me how to do the quick flip move to open the blade for use. He was taught by our neighbor who encouraged him to buy the thing. And he passed on that skill to me. I was happy to learn it and master it as one would be happy to learn anything new, but I wasn’t about to go out, armed with a switchblade or carry one around arbitrarily…but it sat there, on his desk, this beautiful knife, and it just “called” to me to pick it up and play with it which, I’m ashamed to admit, I did. I didn’t hurt myself or others nor did I want to. It was something akin to the modern day fidget spinner. It was satisfying to play with the thing.
These days, I don’t own any sort of weapon. I’m still not one who believes in the use of small arms like the aforementioned switchblade, or guns for that matter, nor have I ever had the urge to go out and get one for myself — but aside from the incredible amount of respect they command, I fully understand the seductive allure of handheld weapons. There’s just something about them that entices one to pick one up, most likely because of the power one may possess when they hold one in their hands.
Such is the case with this week’s “Twilight Zone” protagonist, Jeff Stork (Chris O’Dowd), a college professor living with his father after a break with his wife, Anne (Amy Landecker). As Jeff begs his wife, over the phone, to accompany him to a marriage counseling session in an effort to save their marriage, he comes home to find his dad dead from an apparent gun-related suicide, something that makes as much sense to him as the suicide note he left behind that reads “I LOVE HIM MORE THAN YOU”. Jeff’s father was a hippie, he explains to the cops, and he hated guns. So what was he doing with a beautiful gold-plated pistol with a blue scorpion etched into the pearl grip? What’s more, the spent round had his father’s name on it. I say “had” because the name vanishes from the round shortly after Jeff discovers his father’s body. And what’s worse, Jeff soon discovers a safe in his father’s room, lined in seductive red padding reminiscent of a high end VIP room at a strip club, containing a black, heart-shaped box. In the box? A matching gun clip and one round…with Jeff’s name on it.
“The Blue Scorpion” is the penultimate episode of the first season of “The Twilight Zone” reboot and it’s a welcome addition to a series that has come frustratingly close to being a truly great show. Written by veteran X-Files scribe (and recurring writer on this show), Glen Morgan, the episode finds Jeff struggling to come to grips with his father’s tragic death while falling victim to the same spell or curse the gun carries with it. The gun, it’s explained, was made in Cuba in the 50’s and is so elusive, it’s considered by gun aficionados to only be a myth. According to the legend, it’s only been in the hands of about a half dozen people and that’s mainly because “You don’t find it, it finds you.” Of course, Jeff could just take the easy way out and sell the thing but he’s not a selfish man, he’s just attached to the things his father and just like he can’t let go of his father’s prized bass guitar or any of his concert memorabilia, he has no desire to profit from his death.
Regardless, his attempts to sell the thing, for lack of a better term, backfire, when the gun goes off by itself while it sits on the counter in front of him. That $50,000 offer from the gun guy he was speaking with over the phone suddenly looks like mere pennies to Jeff who not only begins hearing and seeing the name “Jeff” everywhere, he begins handling the gun, examining it, cocking it, the entire sequence of events not unlike foreplay before the big event which, here, sees Jeff finally firing round after round from the gun at a shooting range. He even cradles the gun like a lover while he relaxes, whispering to it that he knows it will never hurt him. In Jeff’s eyes, Anne has become his enemy. On top of attempting to take what’s his in the divorce (she’s shunned any sort of reconciliation), she’s also dating somebody else…who is also named “Jeff”. And, suddenly, that last round in the Scorpion’s chamber with Jeff’s name on it makes so much sense…but will Jeff succumb to his darker urges and pull the trigger or will he resist his new found urges?
I’ve said, several times, that this series hinges on execution and “The Blue Scorpion” has that in spades. From the pseudo-detective novel title to the fitting noir/mystery atmosphere to the performances of everyone involved to the great 60’s soundtrack(!), the show mostly runs on all cylinders. This is also due, in large part, to a slightly tighter run time (just over 40 minutes) and the storytelling and characterizations. Even the twist at the end sticks the landing (discussed in the notes below), though the smaller twist at the lake feels tacked on. With that said, the episode isn’t without its flaws. While the myth of The Blue Scorpion is clever, it feels odd that a gun shop owner would practically be reading the gun’s Wikipedia bio to a random customer over the phone, much less instructing him on how to properly ship the gun according to the weapon’s superstitious lore (it’s “afraid of the dark” so you have to “poke a hole in the box”…c’mon). Also, I know that Jeff has a penchant for using mind-altering drugs but hallucinating to the point where he actually sees the gun’s designer/manufacturer standing in his bedroom (with the gun suddenly sitting on the bed after Jeff had stored it for the night), talking about how great the gun is, is a bit much. Simply seeing the gun sitting on the bed would have been more effective by itself, I think, because it would have added to the gun’s established mythology and it would have sparked a debate about whether Jeff was really seeing it there or if he was under the influence of the drugs he was on.
However, those points don’t do anything to sink an otherwise fantastic episode. In fact, it might actually be the first episode of the new series to convey a fairly clear message but without the bluntness seen in just about every other episode before it. Yes, it does attempt to add its own verse to the overwhelmingly complex debate about guns in America, examining our need, not necessarily for guns, but for any arbitrary object in our life which we might hold dear to our hearts. Are we attached to something because we need it or do we hold on to these things because we believe we need them? And while it does satirize the obsession Americans have with guns, it doesn’t insult its audience, choosing to make its statement in a more subtle manner, while also striking a surprisingly upbeat tone with its main twist which might, hopefully, resonate with both sides of the never-ending debate.
Next to “Replay”, “The Blue Scorpion” is one of the best episodes of the new series.
LOST IN THE ZONE
THE TWIST (SPOILERS…CLICK AND DRAG TO READ): Jeff’s wife owns a small gun since, following her and Jeff’s separation, she lives alone and there have been two burglaries in her immediate vicinity. Following an intense divorce mediation where Jeff loses his mind over Anne’s insistence on taking things he holds dear to his heart, an angry Jeff is playing around with The Scorpion at his house. Enraged and jealous of his wife, he decides to drive to her place and murder her new lover (also Jeff) in cold blood. Before he’s able to do so, however, he gets carjacked by the aforementioned burglar. In the ensuing struggle, the gun goes off, hitting the burglar and knocking him to the ground. The neighbors hear the gunshot and call the police. Jeff surrenders to them and lays on the pavement. He looks at the spent chamber on the ground. The name “JEFF” vanishes from it…and his obsession and rage melt away as he realizes the gun’s spell has been broken because the burglar is also named “Jeff”, just like everyone else he meets in the episode. The metaphor, I’m guessing, is that “nearly everyone has a bullet with their name on it” when you’re irresponsible with your firearm. Jeff is declared a hero and tosses the gun into the same lake where his father’s funeral is held. The second twist is that the gun, despite it all, ends up on shore where two young kids find it along with one bullet which has one of the kids’ names on it. They start playing around with it and you know that’s not gonna end well. The first twist was fine. We didn’t need a second one because the point was already made.
“Poke a hole in the box because the gun is afraid of the dark”. I don’t think ANY major courier would approve of holes in their boxes, but what do I know?
By the way: what kind of burglar carries their freakin’ WALLET with them? I can just see it now: “Got my night suit and my ski mask and my gun…what else do I need…? Well, better take my wallet and ID in case I need to stop at the store to pick up some beer later…” it’s so ridiculous.
The use of music in this episode is a huge part of the episode and mirrors the character of Jeff. The use of Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit” will ALWAYS be welcome in my book but it also acts as a clever metaphor for Jeff’s descent down the proverbial rabbit hole with regard to his sudden need for the Scorpion. Great stuff.
**Warning. This feature contains spoilers in the 'Game of Thrones Conclusion' section onward**
After eight seasons of epic battles, power-mongering, and political intrigue, Game of Thrones has finally reached its conclusion, marking the end of the golden age of television. This feature will look at the closing of this modern chapter of television history and then talk in detail about the conclusion of Game of Thrones.
The Modern Golden Age of Television
Beginning somewhere in the early 2000s, television had undergone a ratings renaissance. With memorable cultural gems such as The Sopranos, The Wire, The Office, House, and Lost—something special was in the air. A modern golden age of television was brewing, and it was different in tone from the feel-good era of the 90s.
Now, the 90s was an entertainment period marked by sitcoms such as Friends and Seinfeld where a post-1980s Wall Street fueled America opened an era of possibilities, driven by a booming tech-bubble economy. It was a period of resurging independent cinema. Where even the fear of the impending Y2K apocalypse, was subverted into a cyberpunk, Matrix-driven theatrical, blending philosophy and technology. It was seemingly the best of times. Nothing could hurt the American spirit.
This, of course, would change, with the insecurities driven by the internet bubble-pop, but also, in terms of authority. As a post, 9/11 world marked the end of a brief American era of invulnerability, and the country became strafe with nationalism and political turmoil.
You can see the political discourse in shows like The West Wing, Battlestar Galactica, and 24. Something had changed in American culture. Now, there was something wrong with our conceptions of security and fidelity, as an opportunity for a shift in narrative, had piqued the interests of popular culture.
Thus, the 2000s were an era marked by stories about an omnipresent loss of normative authority; as people lost trust in their leaders, their role models, but most of all, their tried-and-true old traditions. It marked the beginning of the modern golden era of television. As narratives about people looking for families, and not in the traditional sense, were booming. It was a zeitgeist that marked a tonal shift in social theory—the beginnings of entertainment embracing modern identity politics.
As people, more than ever were driven to entertainment that made them feel like they belonged.
And it wasn’t just dramas. Reality television started a trend of shows about characters that felt horribly relatable, if only because its stars were often just a single degree removed from your everyday neighbor. Now, anyone could be a celebrity. All you had to do was showcase your life 24/7 and sell people that sense of relatability. It’s an entertainment model that would go on to build empires for the Paris Hilton’s and Kim Kardashians of the world.
Saturday Night Live embraced the Tina Fey era of zany comedians, many of whom were women. The cast of this period would then move on to lead various sitcoms such as Parks and Recreation and 30 Rock, and some would even become late-night TV hosts like Jimmy Fallon and Seth Meyers. Likewise, Comedies switched from sitcoms multi-camera formats to single-camera formats with shows such as Scrubs or The Office, presenting entertainment that felt closer to home than ever before.
This era of content making, all critically acclaimed and well-received within their own rights, was soon supplanted around the 2010s. YouTube and the internet and eventually even the smartphone, allowed a wealth of information and entertainment at your fingertips—changing the landscape of entertainment forever. Social media, blogs, and entertainment sites came out of the woodworks of internet culture, soon overtaking the printed press, and shifting the power dynamics of what was high quality. Rotten Tomatoes and IMDB became the barometer for success. Modern fandom became driven not just by watercooler conversation, entertainment tonight, and the E! network–but by fans and fellow bloggers, such as myself. The people had a voice thanks to things such as Twitter, YouTube, and Reddit. More importantly, it was a voice that could be heard.
Entertainment had permanently changed in the past decade. Starting conversations that sparked controversy that both united us and terrified us as a culture.
It was in this 2010s era, inspired by the success of The Sopranos, that a new dramatic formula had emerged. Stories featuring tragic anti-heroes with complex narratives, often starring a brooding morally ambiguous character.
Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, House of Cards, and True Detective all feature protagonists like this. The shows often showcasing a world filled with violence, sex, and moral ambiguity. It was dramatic high art featuring lewd sexuality and unbelievable acts of cruelty, all for the sake of drama and story. The limits between MA versus R ratings became blurred in a time where entertainment could get away with censorship thanks to the familiar openness granted by the internet, and how instantly accessible gratuitous content came to be, desensitizing the youth of American Culture.
This is the point of demarcation. This was the highpoint of television in the modern era. As Game of Thrones might just be the last cultural phenomenon consumed in such a massive scale.
I should stress, that anything averaging over 9 million viewers is an alarming statistic for today’s viewership standards of television. While it’s not as largesse as the numbers in the 90s for sitcoms such as Friends or Seinfeld, which averaged over 20 million viewers per episode, it’s still respectable in its own regard for the era. This is not to say modern shows are lesser quality, but rather, that there is so much TV and entertainment competition such as videogames, live-streams, and podcasts.
Personally, I don’t believe we’ll find another show this watched on TV ever again. At least, not for a long while.
What’s Changed
With the rise of the golden age came the rise of the long-form story arc. People like consistent characters. It feels safe and at home. More than anything else, TV has grown to be watched at your own pace and access–much like internet culture.
This is due to companies such as Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu. Though every major network and platform is vying now for original content with digital distribution platforms. CBS has All Access. There is also, YouTube Premium and Facebook TV. This doesn’t even include two new juggernauts entering the competition for streaming platforms: Disney+ and Apple TV. And while a lot of these platforms are simply redistributing old seasons of shows, most are seeking new material, with Netflix alone released 700 original titles in 2018. At this rate, imagine how staggering the number saturation will be within the next five years of TV.
The Game of Thrones Conclusion
Images: HBO
The first Game of Thrones novel by George R. R. Martin came out in 1996. The TV show aired in 2011. Since then, a lot of content regarding fantasy, dystopian themes, and political intrigues have occurred and released. Though what’s compelling about Game of Thrones was that much of it was a look at the brutality of medieval warfare. Steering away from romantic stories like The Canterbury Tales and telling more of the harsh betrayal filled world that was the War of The Roses.
Thrones broke the mold in what was possible for TV. It’s the only show I know that stuffs knights, zombies, time travel, and borderline pornography, all within the fantasy genre, and somehow still makes it work. It taught us that you can kill off your main character early. More than anything it surprised us by showing how far people will go for love, honor, and family.
You Can Listen to what we all had to say about the Game of Thrones’ Finale over on The Workprint podcast available on iTunes and GooglePlay.
The Characters of Game of Thrones
It would be a disservice to talk about the numbers and show history, without discussing the conclusion for the characters of Game of Thrones itself. So let’s take a look back at how each character has come full circle—essentially fulfilling their hero’s journey.
Jon Snow – the rightful heir and king – chooses to do the right thing for the realm: murdering his love, Daenerys Targaryen for the sake of humanity before she continued her genocidal rampage. He rejoins the Night’s Watch and becomes in a way, his own iteration of Mance Rayder, a well-respected crow living amongst the wildlings. His ending is foreshadowed by Aemon Targaryen, who was also loyal to the Night’s Watch despite also being in-line next to be king in ages past.
We also see a bit of fan service with Jon in the north, as he finally pets Ghost—the last Stark Direwolf, his loyal companion, and friend. Having seen the ravage horrors of war, Jon wants nothing more to do with the kingdoms, and journeys beyond the wall with his friend Tormund Giantsbane to live out his life riding off into the snow set.
Daenerys Targaryen – the Queen who saved and then broke the world. After greatly helping in the battle against the dead and destroying King’s Landing, Daenerys chooses to execute any few remaining loyalists to house Lannister. This is of course, after all the war and struggles she’s undergone, including losing two dragons, having her most loyal advisors killed (both Selmy and Jorah), and losing her good friend (Missandei).
She then gives a speech to her armies invoking odd allusions toward the Third Reich just as Tyrion condemns her mass genocide of the people of King’s Landing. Daenerys wants to seemingly continue her alleged ‘liberation conquests’ vanquishing ‘tyranny’ in what’s seemingly a call for global conquest. She offers Jon the option of joining her so that they can rule together, and in return, he murders her – knowing that neither he nor his family would ever be safe with them as potential threats.
It’s a sad arc but one that wasn’t entirely foreshadowed. Daenerys has always been a better conqueror than ruler. She’s broken cultural molds for the sake of ‘liberation’ though has left little in place for government of the areas she’s conquered. She’s left cultures and economies destabilized and broken in her conquests. Crucified those she deemed evil in slaver’s bay and has for most of her life – been built up to be a Queen. Though she’s also done things such as liberate slaves, raise an army out of nothing, and of course: giving birth to dragons.
Her story is a complex one and I think the books can pace it out better than the last two seasons of the show has. Still, I can see the symbolism – a girl birthed by fire who burns the world around her.
SansaStark – becomes not just a princess, but a queen of the North, with even the bannermen chanting her name. Originally all Sansa wanted was to be betrothed to Joffrey and become a princess, living a fairytale ending. Her long journey from King’s Landing back to home is sprinkled with years of trials and traumas, as Sansa spent the time picking up experience and learning the ins-and-outs of being a ruler. By Journey’s end, she’s come full circle becoming the best ruler amongst all the Starks.
Arya Stark- decides to travel yet again heading west to the land’s unknown. Arya has mentioned since the beginning that she’s no lady and has more than justified herself and her ability as a warrior/assassin. She’s taken down entire houses (Freys) singlehandedly and even murdered the night king in the biggest saving grace of the Battle at Winterfell. At this point, she’s a legend in her own respects and adventuring the world to continue on with her tales seems like the perfect ending for what’s probably the strongest character to come out of Game of Thrones.
Brienne of Tarth – becomes commander of the Kingsguard (notice the crest on her lapel, it’s a raven, not a direwolf), fulfilling her dream of not only becoming a knight but becoming the greatest knight of all the Realm tasked with the kingdom’s most daunting responsibilities. She’s proven herself as a warrior, having defeated the Hound in battle and killing Stannis Baratheon on the battlefield. She also inscribes Jamie Lannister’s fate on the record book of knights, fulfilling his dream of having him be remembered honorably. The only real demarcation… probably falling in love with Jamie Lannister, as it hurt her emotionally, though was really her only soft spot in the entire series.
Tyrion Lannister – Does a good job showcasing what he hasn’t all season in the finale —giving us glimpses of wit and wisdom— but more than anything else, displaying how flawed he is as a character. He gives a final riveting speech demonstrating all that he once was and is punished as a traitor for freeing his brother, by becoming the hand of the king – for a reign that would last a long lifetime. By the end, he’s served as Hand of the King for three different rulers. Yet despite his acclaimed wit… Tyrion never really amounts to having successfully done anything substantial, as most of his efforts technically ended in failure and the need of someone to bail him out. The battle of Blackwater Bay was won by the Tyrells, the trial of Tyrion lost by the Viper. Likewise, his attempts to sway and keep Dany in check went full-on collapse when his many calls for diplomacy: failed. Worst of all, when his request for the bells to signify the surrender of King’s Landing went unheard and his queen went onto murder the people of King’s Landing. Which is perhaps why he’s not accredited in A Song of Ice and Fire.
Still, he comes full circle getting a lifetime to fulfill his role as Hand in King’s Landing.
Sam – is given the title of Grand Maester, which is confusing, given that he’s taken both a wife and fostered a child plus is incredibly young. That’s sort of it. Sam gets a very happy ending, which is good.
Bronn – is given wealth and power. More so for comedic relief than anything else. In the books, his character is already written out of the story and so the show just found a way to crack a joke and keep Bronn the rogue type. Still, he’s always wanted greed and so now he’s Master of Coin. Working for his very good friend who’s showered him for years: Tyrion.
Ser Davos – Has gone from smuggler to Hand of the King, to master of ships. He’s a good man and caring father figure and in the end, will probably coordinate with his pirate friends in rebuilding King’s Landing and Storm’s End. His is a rather straightforward and happy ending as well. Also, he’s proven his strength with words and grammar, thanks to the lessons of Shireen.
Grey Worm – Has taken the unsullied to where he was going to retire with Missandei. Given that her people are peaceful, it’s implied that the unsullied will be there to protect them.
And that’s mostly it. In the end, the story came full circle. The Heroes’ Journey was completed, as everyone returned to the world before in a very fantasy and J.R.R. Tolkienesque way.
Plot Holes
The finale was far from perfect. There’s more than its fair share of plot holes, and a lot of people were left unsatisfied for good reason. A part of me would like to say it’s all about the journey; however, we’ve already gone through that conversation with Lost and in this modern age of TV–poor writing is sort of inexcusable. Though it pains me to admit it: the execution of the series was poor (though I didn’t mind where things ended, just how we got there).
Below, I’ll list just some of the gaping holes people are upset over…
After the battle of Winterfell between the living and the dead, a lot of Dothraki and Unsullied surprisingly survived. We see them in the finale but aren’t most of them supposed to be dead? Where did these legions magically appear from or were they just secretly masked in the poor lighting behind the Battle of Winterfell?
The Dothraki who survived are given free rein to roam Westeros after the death of Daenerys. The only thing keeping this group in check was Daenerys and the U Without them, what’s to stop the Dothraki from turning back into the raping pillagers they used to be in a kingdom that’s severely broken?
It’s nice that the North remains independent but why is Dorne remaining part of the kingdom? It doesn’t make sense, as the South is just as independent and strong-willed as the North.
What happens to all of Dany’s kingdoms in Essos?
What is the actual wheel Dany is trying to break? If it’s the nature of feudalism and titles, doesn’t that make Jon and her the enemy?
Does the Iron Bank of Braavos ever get their money back?
There are literally no armies keeping the kingdoms together now that the Unsullied have left. The bulk of the Greyjoy fleet was burnt. The Lannister, Tyrell, and Baratheon armies are all dead (as a reference, each army was absorbed by the winning side—until all you had left was a large Lannister force—now burnt to a crisp or executed). The remaining militaries in Westeros are an exhausted and scattered Northern force who just fought four wars back-to-back, the main garrison of House Arryn at the Eerie (who are only concerned with protecting themselves), Yara’s Iron Born (which are few), the roaming Dothraki (who should be dead after the charge in Winterfell), and unsurprisingly: the armies of Dorne – who never even fought a single battle throughout the entirety of Game of Thrones’ series. What is keeping the kingdom united if at all? (As a side note – if there’s one thing Game of Thrones royally screwed up with plot holes: it’s military. In all aspects of operations, functions, and strategy— none of it makes sense, despite how many times they try to build cool looking maps and move fake soldier pieces on screen.)
Bran is chosen as king because he’s a keeper of stories as the three-eyed raven, but he hasn’t really done much to prove his worth as a STORYTELLER (at best, he’s a documentary commentator watching movies about the past). Nor is his story that compelling as Tyrion claims, as most people don’t even know what the three-eyed raven is and the show has done little to describe what it means. Atop this, there are a LOT of other characters with more interesting stories. Arya killed the night king. Jon Snow resurrected from the dead to help liberate the North. Both are easily much better stories than a kid who sat doing nothing but acts as a living encyclopedia—knowing that in doing so, it would allow him to become king. Why would anyone, particularly the PEOPLE of Westeros, believe Bran deserves to be king when he’s done nothing for them?
Similarly, if Bran knew these events would come to pass… that makes him a horrible human being. One who knew these atrocities would happen, including the genocide of King’s Landing. For somebody who allegedly doesn’t want the throne, he also doesn’t seem to be doing much to refuse it. Nor does he seem to be prioritizing civilian lives – a horrible asset as a leader. We also don’t understand how the three-eyed raven fully works, and for all we know, Bran could be potentially evil—as he can manipulate events of the past (Remember Hodor?) and see time non-linearly. Technically speaking, he has the potential to be a far more dangerous ruler than Daenerys ever could be—including the ability to warg back into DROGON to kill everyone in the Seven Kingdoms if he so chooses it. Which is why his Kingship is really based on a giant leap of faith for all the kingdoms. And yes, you can argue Bran would never do that. But then ask yourself what show have you been watching? If Game of Thrones has proven anything: it’s that people are flawed human beings who make morally ambiguous decisions based on their situations—Bran is not an exception to this rule. In fact, in some ways he’s worse, because he knows how things can unfold, making him the perfect manipulator behind the scenes.
Why would Bran need a master of whispers when he can Warg into anything?
If the three-eyed raven is so important to the history of Westeros, how could you let one become king?
How does Bran pass on his abilities if he’s far removed from the Weirwood forests?
Why didn’t Drogon kill Jon Snow? Better yet, why didn’t Grey Worm or the Dothraki kill Jon Snow? Especially because once Daenerys is gone, all these armies are given free rein to cause havoc in honor of their fallen queen.
Why did Drogon destroy the Iron Throne? Did the dragon blame the sharp pointy dagger and so destroyed the sharp pointy chair? Is Drogon going on a quest to destroy all pointy things now?
What’s the point of the Night’s Watch without White Walkers?
Bran is King, Sansa is the queen of the North, and the Unsullied have all left West Why is Jon Snow exiling himself to the Night’s Watch when nobody who remains in the kingdom dislikes him (outside Yara) and his family controls all of Westeros?
Are all the prophecies pointless in this show? (Yes, yes they are)
What was Jon doing at the end? Was he abandoning the Night’s Watch and going to live amongst the wildlings or going on a ranger run?
And there are plenty more, but I will stop there for the sake of rambling and the series’ embarrassment.
Is This The End of the Golden Age of Television?
Game of Thrones ended with a message emphasizing the importance of story. That what wins over the people of the masses are the stories and the characters that go along with it. It’s not a bad message—though it may be a convoluted one—as I was always under the assumption the series was about the game itself and winning the Iron Throne?
With the series’ end marks the closing of an era of television. It’s going to be much more difficult now for a show to ever have that same type of following given the market saturation; especially, with all the channels, streaming applications, videogames, movies, and self-published content now vying for our attention. What Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and Big Bang Theory benefited from was that it debuted just at the turn of the tide. I’d even go so far as to say these shows were the peak of it, showcasing the best of what modern fandom could build-upon and achieve. With the Golden Age of Television birthed the modern fandom, how we consume entertainment but also, how we’re critical of it. Look at all these remarks about Game of Thrones’ finale and the opinions it caused. More so now than ever before, fandom matters, and it’s becoming part of how TV operates in its writing and its discourse.
But with the increasing number of reboots, perhaps we’re seeing the end of this golden age of television. Then again, maybe this is a good thing. Perhaps now is the time things should be less about getting the most ad-revenue and subscriptions, and more about specified interests and becoming a more unique self-identity. Maybe let’s have shows with less massive popular culture appeal and release original narratives different people like for various reasons. Perhaps now is the time to embrace indie culture again from the ground-up; where the audience likes what they like because it’s enjoyable, and not because everyone is talking about it.
Personally, I’d be more than satisfied if we never hit these numbers again over a series, so long as there’s a varied and good amount of content out there, that fits people’s different personal tastes.
Still… I will miss bonding over a show that everyone watches at the office. But hey, that’s what sports are for right?
I just need to take a moment to emotionally prepare you all for something. As the final credits begin to roll on Disney’s remake of their animated classic, Aladdin, a voice rings out to announce himself as a performer of the obligatory end credits song. That voice? Mr. (please internally shout this while reading) DJ KHALED!!!!!!
Oh, yes. You will wrinkle your brow in puzzlement for a moment. But then you will laugh hysterically because…well, it’s 2019 and why should we expect anything less bizarre?
We’ve certainly come a long way from Peabo Bryson and Regina Belle serenading us out of the theater in 1992 and it goes without saying that a modern retelling of the story is going to feature some modern pop culture touch points. But for some reason this Guy Ritchie directed (more on him later)version of the story is actually quite light on modern updates to the story we know and love. These updates are so few and far between that when we actually get to this final moment of DJ Khaled making his vocal introduction it is so out of left field that all you can do is laugh uncomfortably.
When Disney released its live action remake of Dumbo a few short months ago we got a movie that dramatically expanded and elaborated off of the original film. And to be fair, most of that was out of necessity to make the movie long enough. And while the result wasn’t entirely perfect it at least felt fresh. This version of Aladdin however is anything but fresh. In some moments, it even downright stinks.
Things get off to an incredibly rocky start when we meet two children and a human Will Smith on a boat tossing around some incredibly ham-handed dialogue before Smith launches into his rendition of the song ‘Arabian Nights.’ This is not the most well-remembered song from the original, but after Smith starts missing a few notes you will cherish the original recording as the greatest song of all time. I found myself cringing. And not just here. Every time the Genie character is meant to belt a tune I just had to grip my seat and pray for it to be over soon. Will Smith might be a highly accomplished recording artist, but these songs were not remotely tailored for his talents and the results are incredibly disappointing.
It’s even more disappointing when you consider that Smith is actually really funny in the role when not tasked with singing. I even found myself not bothered by his much maligned blue CGI character design! Most of the moments that I now look back fondly on are attributed to him and I wonder what might have been if they had made this a non-musical remake instead.
The rest of the cast handles the musical side of things well enough but fails to deliver anything worth raving about. Mena Massoud tackles the role of Aladdin and succeeds as a total dreamboat that we want to root for. Vocally he sounds almost identical to his animated ancestor so even if you aren’t blown away by freshness you might find yourself feeling the twinge of nostalgia.
That nostalgia really comes through in the film’s signature ballad, ‘A Whole New World’, which Massoud performs with Naomi Scott as Princess Jasmine. This is without a doubt the film’s most successful musical number and a high point of the movie overall, but ends up ringing emotionally hollow due to the uneven content that surrounds it.
Scott makes a lovely Jasmine who gets the biggest upgrade from the original with a storyline that sees her worrying about more than just who she can marry. In this telling, Jasmine hopes to one day succeed her father as Sultan despite tradition that the Sultan must always be a man; which puts her in direct conflict with her father’s scheming advisor Jafar (Marwan Kenzari). This version of Jafar sadly pales in comparison the camp villainy of his animated self, but allows for a rivalry with Jasmine that leads to an original song about her ability to stand up to him. Scott sings the hell out of the song but it feels a little out of place in terms of style.
If you’re picking up on the theme of everything feeling uneven you’d be absolutely on point. And honestly, a lot of that falls squarely in the lap of Director Guy Ritchie, who seemed like a bizarre choice when he was announced and failed to prove his doubters wrong. At the very least I thought he would wow us with some great visuals, but even that aspect left me scratching my head with his odd reliance on speeding up the action in certain scenes giving the film a bizarre look that will surely only get worse as the film ages. The song and dance numbers lack pizzaz and even the sets have the feel of a cheap TV production rather than a lavish, major motion picture. To say I was underwhelmed by Ritchie’s choices would be the biggest understatement of the year.
Families with young children experiencing the story of Aladdin for the first time might find enough to enjoy in this live-action retelling, but fans of the original are almost certain to be bored by almost every aspect of it. I don’t anticipate much of it to stick with me as the years go by, but one thing is certain: I will always remember the immortal shouting of…
COBRA KAI Season 2, Episode 5
“All In”
Available on YouTube Premium
GRADE: B+
As we’ve learned on this series, actions have dire consequences. Last episode, we found out that Kreese (Martin Kove) physically assaulted Demetri (Gianni Decenzo) and sent him away with a bloody nose. For most, revenge is a dish best served cold. But for Demetri, revenge is a dish served passive aggressively: he’s taken to the Internet and written a scathing Yelp review where he calls Johnny (William Zabka) and Kreese insane. And, also, that the facility is in need of a facelift despite looking “badass on the outside”. But, it’s that first part that haunts Demetri more than anything and raises the ire of his childhood friend, Eli, AKA “Hawk” (Jacob Bertrand). His eyes are cold and his jaw is clenched…but there’s something else there other than anger.
It runs in juxtaposition with the episode’s start: a flashback to Eli’s life prior to Cobra Kai. Eli’s mother is on the phone with his school to demand that they do something about the kids who bully him on a daily basis. And then there’s Eli, wearing an ugly sweater and slacks and a full head of hair with tears running down his face. She’s fire and brimstone until they tell her that they’ll make an anti-bullying announcement to the entire school — which, for Eli, is even worse because he’s the one who deals with the backlash and ridicule following a decision like that. Bertrand is outstanding here, portraying an emotionally scarred kid stuck in his own personal hell, which might resonate with many younger viewers whose parents, as well-meaning as they are, cannot possibly comprehend what their children might go through at the hands of cruel kids on a daily basis.
It’s interesting to see Eli in such a low place because Demetri almost has this very same moment late in “All In”, confessing to Daniel (Ralph Macchio) everything about his personal life when Eli was his only friend before Eli and others decided to be “cool” and enlist in Cobra Kai. Demetri wants what Eli has but what he doesn’t seem to be aware of is how fortunate he is to be under Daniel’s wing. Eli certainly got his sought-after popularity — but it cost him his innocence and, in a manner of speaking, his soul. And it seems fateful that, much like Daniel and Johnny, Eli and Demetri are destined to clash.
If we’re headed for a big blow-off in the finale, then one might be tempted to call “All In”, the hump of the 2nd season of “Cobra Kai”, the show’s mid-term. It mostly delivers.
The episode focuses mainly on Demetri as Daniel struggles to put him through the Miyagi paces. As everything’s a joke to Demetri and because this show sometimes refuses to take itself too seriously, the training montages with Demetri are played for laughs (as Demetri sands the Miyagi-Do deck, he gets a splinter; he wants to use a roller to paint the Miyagi house; he complains about doing Kata due to “disproportionate limbs”) which is all well and good except that Miyagi-Do has looked like a lost cause for four episodes and this does nothing to make the audience take it any more seriously than before.
The other bone of contention I have with this episode is that this week’s frivolities exist solely for the namesake of the episode. Johnny’s opening lesson to his students is to “go all in” when an opponent has you in a position you can’t escape from. What does “going all in” look like? Basically, somehow tackling your opponent. In tackling them, you’ve “made a choice” and you “go all in”. None of that makes sense but that’s theme of this thing, so here we are, serving up dialogue that’s literally like this:
TORY: What are you doing on your laptop? MIGUEL: I’m working on fixing my relationship with Sam. TORY: How? MIGUEL: I’m GOING ALL IN…
Your eyes will roll so hard, you’ll travel back into time.
But the big set piece is the first meeting between Miyagi-Do and Cobra Kai since the All-Valley Tournament in the first season. It’s nicely done for what it is (and manages to tie the “raft training montage” into things, as ridiculous as it turns out to be). It’s nice to finally blow off some steam that’s been building since the show restarted and it also serves to build more tension: furious at the outcome of the mall fight, Hawk and Cobra Kai invade the Miyagi-Do dojo at night, completely desecrating it in every way possible and even steal Miyagi’s Medal of Honor, much to Daniel’s anger. The ensuing face-off between Johnny and LaRusso is intense and is even better with Kreese sneering in the background at the two of them. Anytime the two are on screen together in this fashion, it always makes me want to return for the next installment.
Despite slightly weaker writing (frustrating as hell since the show seems capable of giving us greatness each week), “All In” is another good episode of YouTube’s “Cobra Kai”, a show which not only continues to impress but almost rivals “Game of Thrones” with the level of intrigue and personal politics at play in each episode. “All In” is buoyed by outstanding performances from its usual core of actors as well as Jacob Bertrand who has grown into the role of Eli/”Hawk” nicely.
While not the best of the lot, “All In” is an example of the consistency “Cobra Kai” offers its audience each week and feels primed to promise fireworks for their loyalty.
OTHER STUFF THAT EXISTS IN THIS DOJO
I cannot state this enough: Jacob Bertrand is outstanding as “Hawk” and this was his episode to shine. The opening flashback is SO good and serves to add some context in that it makes the character sympathetic to audiences even though you wanna choke the shit out of him.
I liked the bit between Johnny and Kreese as they teach their class how to escape a choke hold. It’s deja vu all over again as Kreese has Johnny in the same position Kreese had Johnny in during the opening of The Karate Kid, Part II and you can almost see Johnny getting triggered as Kresse had his forearm wrapped around his neck. Subtle things like that are what makes this show great.
If the music during the mall chase scene (and ensuing fight) sounds familiar, it’s because you heard it during the original The Karate Kid when Cobra Kai chases Daniel back to his apartment complex while dressed in skeleton costumes:
Speaking of…doesn’t this mall have any sort of security whatsoever? No cops on duty? Anyone? There are times when I swear Cobra Kai and Miyagi-Do are warring factions the cops can’t touch just like in Mark Millar’s “Wanted”.
Great to see Demetri join Miyagi-Do. He’s like the anti-Hawk and he meshes well with Samantha and Robby.
Kreese plus Hawk equals chaos. Kreese taking Hawk under his proverbial wing near the end and using him as a proxy proves that Kreese is up to no good and is on a different mission than Johnny as far as the LaRussos are concerned.
Macchio completely sells his pain when he finds out Cobra Kai has boosted Miyagi’s Medal of Honor with just that look of absolute anguish. Even if Macchio is forever typecast as Daniel LaRusso, the dude owns this role. I love how he betrays Miyagi’s code (Karate for self-defense, never for attack) juuuuust enough in order to get into a physical confrontation with Johnny.
I also love how Johnny held off taking Daniel’s bait (thanks to Miguel’s mother talking some sense into him) which shows just how far Johnny has come as a person.
THE TWILIGHT ZONE Season 1, Episode 8
“Point of Origin”
Available on CBS All-Access (new episodes uploaded every Thursday)
GRADE: B+
“I hurt myself deeply, though at the time I had no idea how deeply. I should have learned many things from that experience, but when I look back on it, all I gained was one single, undeniable fact. That ultimately I am a person who can do evil. I never consciously tried to hurt anyone, yet good intentions notwithstanding, when necessity demanded, I could become completely self-centred, even cruel. I was the kind of person who could, using some plausible excuse, inflict on a person I cared for a wound that would never heal.” — Haruki Murakami, SOUTH OF THE BORDER, WEST OF THE SUN
There’s a point in this episode where Eve Martin (Ginnifer Goodwin) is sitting down for a tea social with her girlfriends and decides to humble brag about how she stood up to The Man while they apprehended her Latin housekeeper, Anna (Zabryna Geuvara). Anna is here illegally and has a child who is a U.S. Citizen by virtue of the naturalized citizen laws of the country. Eve’s girlfriends empathize with her but an illegal is an illegal, so…that’s just the way it goes. Before this, she was telling party planners what to do, what to serve and for their advice on keeping people she didn’t want away from her expensive things. If this sounds like another look at the socio-political fabric of our country, then you’re right. But it isn’t just an indictment of the blasé Conservative attitude towards immigration and immigrants. It’s also an examination of the mindset of Liberals when they don their White Savior superhero capes and go to war for “the greater good”.
But Eve DOES care about Anna. After all, Anna’s part of the family. Anna has “cleaned the spit and shit from Eve’s children” and Eve is more than happy to allow Anna the use of Eve’s address to establish residency so that Anna’s son can go to a good school. Eve cares! Or at least she has good intentions…but that still means that she’s compassionate about Anna’s plight and wants her to have rights equal to her own. If only Eve knew the name of Anna’s son…or that Anna even had a son in the first place…or Anna’s country of origin…or much of anything else about her. And here’s Anna, in a detention center, awaiting deportation while Eve’s biggest worry is is appearing to be someone like Anna…which, unfortunately for her, she is.
“Point of Origin” is the 8th episode of the 2019 reboot of “The Twilight Zone” and tells the story of Eve, a housewife who lives in modern times but belongs deeply entrenched in the 1950’s, if her behavior and sugar-sweet demeanor is any indication. She lives a life of luxury and privilege until, one fateful day, her credit cards are declined at a local grocery store. Soon after, mysterious “authorities” apprehend her and bring her and her daughters to an undisclosed facility where, lo and behold, Anna is also being kept…except we know why Anna’s here. So why is Eve being arrested? It doesn’t matter. Money’s the answer and she offers it to fedora-wearing man in black (James Frain) as a “Get Out of Jail Free” card.
The first reveal is fairly simple, but effective: Eve is, herself, an immigrant — but not in the way you’re thinking. Years ago, she came here, to our dimension, undocumented, after a somewhat touched-upon event (war/climate/whatever) wrecked her dimension. It’s why Eve is so entranced when she stares euphorically out the window at a blue sky and shining sun. And much like “Men in Black”, there’s a secret government agency dedicated from protecting the Earth from the inter-dimensional scum that would “taint the bloodline”, according to the man in black with the sinister British accent who has tied Eve to a platform to grill her on what she “knows and doesn’t know” about a past she can’t remember.
“Point of Origin” benefits greatly from a tighter script than last week and an outstanding performance from Ginnifer Goodwin as Eve. In fact, she’s so good, the entire episode wraps around her. As Eve, she’s cheery and enthusiastic and, at the same time, hyperactive and overly analytical. That last part is also what makes her obnoxious and borderline unlikeable. I wish there could have been more of Zabryna Guevara as Anna whom Goodwin unfortunately overshadows which sucks because her screen time is also limited due to the plot. Guevara’s Anna is dedicated and kind and shows an edge indicative of a mother who has been pushed to her very edge but who is accepting of the consequences because she lacks the means Eve has at her disposal. After showing decent acting chops on CBS’s “Star Trek: Discovery”, Frain hams it up here as the agent investigating Eve. Here, he’s reduced to a sinister man in a suit who says sinister things that sound more sinister because he has a British accent and a smug look on his face.
The writing and direction are also tighter than the last two entries in the series, the atmosphere of the episode drips with dark paranoia as Eve and her colleagues work within the shadows to figure out a way out of their personal hell. This provides for some excellent suspense and tension, especially when Eve gets close to breaking free from her captors. The only downside to all of this is the same thing that plagued “Not All Men”: the insistence on hyperbole and the need to hammer its audience with a message. There’s a scene in the episode where Eve tells the Man in Black to “get out of her house” and he grins this evil grin and replies, “No…you get out of MINE!” It’s eyeroll-inducing, as much as the message is on point.
Still, after two run-of-the-mill episodes, this week was a welcome improvement. While the show still has issues with length (and the need to bludgeon its audience with a message), when the show sticks its landing, it really sticks the landing.
LOST IN THE ZONE
Easter Eggs this week:
The cereal the kids eat is called “Kanamunch” and has a picture of the alien from the classic episode “To Serve Man” on the front. In fact, that’s the cereal’s slogan.
The code for one of the prison gates is “1015”.
The ice cream truck is owned by “Mr. Dingle”, a callback to the classic episode, “Mr. Dingle, the Strong”.
The guy wheeling dead bodies through the hallway near the show’s climax whistles the theme to the show.
The school Anna wants to send her son to is named after sci-fi/fantasy (and Twilight Zone writer) Richard Matheson.
Nice use of “This Land is Your Land” at the end. It runs in perfect juxtaposition with the horror of the situation. The song was a direct response to the song “God Bless America” and was meant to include everyone who lived in the country.
I have to say this because I’m not gonna get into it with the trolls on IMDB. Most of what I’ve seen on this incarnation of “The Twilight Zone” borders on overwrought hyperbole but when an episode sticks the landing (“Replay” and “The Wunderkind” are two of these), it sticks the damn landing, which has the pleasant side effect of making the complainers look like the worst crybabies this side of Twitter. We’ve been subject to the Trump Administration for the last 2 1/2 years and, in that time, I’ve watched as he’s torn up arms agreements, threatened countries with war, ignored the loss of life at the hands of madmen brandishing guns they shouldn’t have owned in the first place, turn a blind eye to (and encouraging) racism and, most recently, watch as his proxies enact horrifying, misogynist policies involving women and their bodies, which trample all over settled Constitutional law — all as he dubs the media “Enemies of the People” which has caused at least two of his supporters to attempt to bomb various media outlets, something Trump has yet to respond to. In 1959, Rod Serling created the show you’re watching with the intent on hitting his audience in the head with his morals, lessons and beliefs — but was held back by CBS who didn’t want to face viewer backlash. This isn’t your father’s T-Zone. It has the spirit and the intent and it isn’t for everyone. However, I’ve noticed that most of the complaints about this show are empty and it’s been dubbed “propaganda” by the Trump wing of TV viewers. The lesson to be learned here is that nobody has a blank check. You can say what you want in this country but you’re going to get people who object to it. This version of the show very much means to make statements about the status quo just as Serling did when he lectured us on how awful nukes are, lectured us about personal prejudice in “The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street” and lectured us on the dangers of the resurgence of White Supremacy in modern times in “He’s Alive”, an episode that’s a half century old, but feels like it warned us about everything that’s happening. If nothing else, watch “He’s Alive”. It gave me chills seeing it after all this time. This show is here to call attention to these things. But they also serve as a warning, to show you just how dark things could get. Stop raging and pay attention.
Apologies for the lateness of this review. Life often gets in the way.
With Marvel and DC still having a stranglehold on both TV and movie universes, the CW has added another superhero show to their already jam-packed slate: Batwoman. Joining Arrow, The Flash, Supergirl, Legends of Tomorrow, and Black Lightning (which even the CW forgets is on their network), Batwoman is the latest in a long, long, long list of DC characters to make it to the small screen. After a teaser trailer dropped last week, the CW released a full-length trailer today for the show’s premiere, set to debut on Sundays in Fall 2019.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrIiPcv4_iY
Batwoman looks to start out as yet another superhero origin story because is it even a comic book story if we don’t focus on the beginnings? Played by Ruby Rose (Orange is the New Black), Kate Kane makes her debut by…not so subtly pilfering every aspect of her identity from Gotham’s already established Dark Knight and making half a dozen oddly delivered commentaries on girl power.
Dear CW: Batwoman is not just a female Batman. Kate Kane is not just a female Bruce Wayne.
The thing with female superheroes is that we don’t need every line of dialogue to be dripping with obvious feminism. With Batman missing from Gotham’s streets, give me Kate Kane as Batwoman, a vigilante navigating the perils of a city rife with corruption and crime.
Just like with Supergirl stepping into the red cape behind Superman, Batwoman must be cognizant of donning that oh-so-similar cowl and her relation to Batman’s legacy, but she isn’t defined by it. Given that the CW made more mention of Batman in the “Elseworlds” crossover event than Batwoman and that the trailer for the standalone series doesn’t seem to course correct that tendency, I’m worried Batwoman may be more about showcasing a Batman world and story with a slightly different, ahem, more feminine lead. And that’s a shame for Kate Kane because she is a fascinating hero who is capable of protecting Gotham and leading the Batfamily, with or without Bruce Wayne.
I hope the CW proves me wrong and come the fall, Batwoman is a success, giving me an engrossing narrative about a kickass lesbian hero who has no problem kicking in the teeth of evil doers in Gotham.
Pictured: Beanie Feldstein as Jenna, Natasia Demetriou as Nadja. CR: Russ Martin/FX
Back in Episode Four, we were granted a glimpse into the fallout from Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) turning Jenna (Beanie Feldstein), one of the virgins for the Baron (pour one out), into a vampire. My estimation was that Jenna’s inevitable inclusion into the fold would make the house whole, as Baron Afanas immediately ate the familiar of Lazslo (Matt Berry) and Nadja as if she were a goddamned Ketchup packet.
Jenna is different though. The couple’s familiar was a literal feast which means only a desiccated husk was left. Whether out of some semblance of pity, potential or piety, Nadja turned Jenna. The beautiful thing with creating a Child of the Night is that avarice is on your side. Things are quick for the victim and the perpetrator. Granted, if once converted that moral compass still works, you may find yourself not wanting to kill a human via exsanguination… But sometimes, it might just take that one push over the edge.
Jenna is now feeling the effects of being turned. Having strange dreams causing nocturnal levitation, an aversion to anything religious, even when faced with an Amazing Michaelangelo work or simply a bit of Vitamin-D, the sun. Finding herself on late-night meals, she subsists on any animal unlucky enough to cross her path, though it still makes her look miserable.
Speaking of miserable, Nandor (Kayvan Novak) discovers upon being the Leader of the House that the country he was Lead was no longer a thing… since, like 1401. This doesn’t sit well with him as he a guy without a country, and if you don’t know how depressing that feels, just watch Spielberg’s The Terminal. I mean it sucks for Nandor, but I feel worse for the ticket payers of The Terminal. Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) suggests that his Master can actually try for Citizenship in the U.S. of A. Nandor this Nandor is game…
As Nadia from afar observes her possible ‘apprentice’, she grows disgusted at what she sees. It’s not the bloodletting but rather the lack thereof and not feeding on the Top Shelf libations, humans. The one she granted eternal life to is living like a homeless Vampire. After passing that threshold, Nadja confronts Jenna and vows to take her under her ‘wing’
Speaking of a Vamp without a home, Guillermo is trying to prep Master for his big night. Through his research, he finds that Nandor actually filed back in 1992 and that was for a singular reason- Olympic Dream Team baby! This was a joke I could soo familiarize with as that time, I believe the whole country whether they loved the baskets-of-ball or not just was for the golden starting five: Ewing, Barkley, Bird, Johnson and.. Jordan. I would think that a vampire whose title was “the Relentless” would go totally gaga. Dream Team baby! This type of expectancy would be in Nandor’s favor, but he didn’t complete the process of citizenship in light of the Macarena craze. Even I couldn’t fault him for that.
Nadja in the meantime is trying to find out her convert’s special power. Nadja’s is crawling, defying gravity but though Jenna can’t just yet, Nadja’s still behind her, even when Lazslo callously offends Jenna, calling for her to be put in a cage. It’s not the best look on him when Jenna absconds with her emotions into a room.
As Guillermo is prepping Master Nandor for one of the biggest nights of his accomplished life, Las and Nan are about to teach Jenna her first transforming into a bad. Upon hearing that a random snack for the Baron was turned, Guillermo’s eyes turn from Brown to Blue. I’ve had this scenario before in middle school where you want something so bad but it works out equally as bad. In my case, it was a first kiss. In his case, it was a first/last bite. Always the bridesmaid I suppose. The difference was I had known the girl for a year and she kissed one of my friends. Guillermo’s Vampire known him for ten… but that’s never bitten twice shy for him.
Jenna’s reintroduction into Vampiredom is met on the roof, where her bat form is comely and inelegant, unlike the two trying to guide her along the way.
In spite of this setback, Nadja insists on taking Jenna out to dinner. It’s steak (hissssss) night. What better feeding ground than a literal domicile that calls themselves a House. Yep, they are crashing a Fraternity party.
Garbed in his treasured Dream Team jersey (Number 9, all the time), Nandor proceeds into his possible fate with a set plan in hand. He is to hypnotize the interviewer into simply giving him a Citizenship. However, this doesn’t pan out as in the world, government employees are immune to such trickery. They surmise that maybe their souls are too dead to be receptive, which is super funny, but alas super appropriate. Nandor’s incompetence shines through as well as he not only misguesses the first three words to the Constitution (“Hey you guys” they should really amend it to) but also makes a gaffe figuring that George Washington was our first gay president.
Back at the party, Nadja is trying to have a few guys flirt with poor Jenna, however, she is in the high school sense ‘invisible’. After being invited in through hypnotism, they peruse the meat market, but the guys don’t seem to be perceptive to Jenna’s existence. After a drink is accidentally spilled on her and Nadja trying to vouch for her friend, Jenna explodes. She exits by pushing others out of the way and her anger and frustration culminate in her actually becoming invisible. Nadja is speechless and over the moon as Jenna’s unique power is something very special.
Pumped up from the high of finding her new gift, Jenna goes after the one guy that was a douche- the head of the ska band that was playing the party and rightfully so. Who the hell condones the continuation of ska? Good on ya, Jenna!
At Citizen and Immigration Services, Nandor’s interviewer is nigh at the finish line. He’s nearly survived this task of gross display of ignorance wrapped in a red, white and blue jersey of dreams, but can he cross that finish line? Short answer? No. Upon having to recite the Oath of Allegiance, he isn’t stepped up by the last line, that finished line… just one word. The G-Word. This nearly causes dyspepsia for him but he cannot complete the test until- GOD!
There he said it whereupon fire shot out. Leaving the interviewer stunned, Nandor ultimately did not get citizenship. Something tells me it wasn’t the fire-burp that did it.
Lamenting outside of the building to Guillermo, something snaps in his familiar. First off, one of theirs turned a stranger a vampire. Second off, Nandor hasn’t turned his. Tertiary, I think it will be held until Episode Ten.
With Nandor’s incessant complaining about not having a home and being alone, Guillermo finally laces into him something fierce. He’s sick and tired of just being a familiar and Jenna being turned may have boiled the pot over. Guillermo extols how cool it could be existing eternal and blessed with the ability of flight, which is nothing to shake a stick at my friend.
Though his familiar spake out of turn, Nandor arises on the top of a car and with this fire lit under his ass proclaims that he will be the leader of this new revolution to world domination…. Yeah, but Guillermo ain’t being turned tonight. We might as well call his story Bridesmaid Revisited.
As the night winds down but Jenna is wound up, she suggests to Nadja to watch the sunrise. Therein lie the tragic news- Jenna’s destined to walk the earth at night and only night. Through a plot device she got from Blade, she suggests motorcycle helmets to shield the sun and as dawn approaches, Nadja feels that her pup could leave the cave and thusly start her new journey.
It would have been a poignant moment if those fucking helmets did anything for her theory, so they depart as they burn temporarily. Hey, you’re never too late to experiment!
COBRA KAI Season 2, Episode 4
“Moment of Truth”
Available on YouTube Premium
GRADE: B
The first time Johnny (William Zabka) and Kreese (Martin Kove) made amends, Kreese was more than a little disingenuous, manipulating Johnny into believing that he thought of Johnny as a son — all to worm his way back into Johnny’s new Cobra Kai dojo. We get a similar moment at the end of this episode — only, this time, it would appear that Kreese has finally, truly made peace with Johnny and his past…or has he? Things are never that simple on this series. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
From the title, “Moment of Truth”, the fourth episode in the second season of YouTube’s “Cobra Kai”, sounds like it would be about the eruption of warfare between Team Lawrence and LaRusso but, instead, it’s literally about the truth seeing the light of day. As we’ve witnessed, these are characters with baggage. LaRusso serves Mr. Miyagi’s interests even after he’s become a successful business owner, Johnny’s still grieving over a loss to LaRusso three decades ago and is getting over his abusive relationship with Kreese, who not only carries the weight of Johnny’s defeat over 30 years ago, but his own. And then there’s the lynchpin between the two warring factions: Johnny’s son, Robby (Tanner Buchanan) who is loyal to his surrogate father in Daniel and has a love/hate relationship with his actual father in Johnny.
And right when you think it can’t get anymore complicated, a new cog in the Cobra Kai machine enters the picture in Tory (Peyton List), a street-wise street fighter type who comes to Johnny and Kreese, bearing the gift of her own martial arts knowledge — which she demonstrates by taking down Johnny’s prize student, Miguel (Xolo Maridueña) in fairly slick and ruthless fashion, taking advantage of him when he extends a hand in camaraderie at the end of the fight. But who is she? She doesn’t have a last name and we don’t yet know her past but she’s as deadly as a Sith was to the Jedi and eventually becomes a wedge between Samantha LaRusso (Mary Mouser) and her on-again/off-again friend Aisha (Nichole Brown) who only seem to have moments together for the sake of plot movement.
When Amanda LaRusso (Courtney Henggeler) loses her wallet during a Beach Club pool party, Sam immediately accuses Tory of stealing it — and for good reason: Tory rips off a bottle of booze for some underage drinking and where there’s smoke, there’s fire, right? It turns out that Robby’s former friends are behind the pick-pocketing, forcing Robby’s hand and pushing him to admit his past to Amanda when the club’s manager recognizes him and threatens to kick him out for his past sins. He immediately tries to help Daniel by confronting his old friends in front of the camera on his phone — something that nearly backfires until Daniel shows up to finish the job that Robby started.
The meat of “Moment of Truth”, however, is the aforementioned confrontation between Kreese and Johnny: when Kreese leaves the dojo to “return to his hotel” to deal with an issue he was blowing up about over the phone, Johnny finds out that Kreese wasn’t yelling at his hotel’s housekeeping staff for “stealing his watches”. He was yelling at the owners of a local shelter for not resolving issues with his roommate. Kreese is like so many other veterans who saw some bad shit overseas and attempted to be the person they once were. He’s poor and nearly on the street. The only thing Kresse knows is violence and intimidation and Cobra Kai is the only thing left for him. It’s a moving scene which ends in a handshake between the two and, as Johnny welcomes new students, he invites a more quiet, subdued and peaceful Kreese to assist him…and we can trust him, can’t we?
“Moment of Truth” is another good entry in the “Cobra Kai” series, one which finally peels away at Kreese’s tough exterior layer and shows us the very broken man underneath. Yes, we saw part of that man in the season opener but it was Kreese being Kreese. This reveal was forced by Johnny’s unexpected search for answers about his former sensei and it’s a decent payoff. The issue is that this story virtually overshadows every other arc and angle the show has to offer, rendering the Team Miyagi’s story silly Disney Channel fodder. Also, one gets the feeling that Kreese still isn’t telling the whole truth. If glossing over the entire arc which occurred in The Karate Kid Part III was any indication (he simply says “an old friend offered me a job” — but goes no further than that), perhaps we’re given an idea of how deceptive Kreese really is when he assaults Hawk’s friend Demetri (Gianni Decenzo) in the cold open when all Demetri was attempting to do was be friendly, albeit in the awkward manner he considers to be “friendly”.
But it may actually be the moment when Kreese tells Johnny’s students that the key to executing a move is “to make your enemy think you are retreating…but just as they let their guard down, THAT’S when you strike the hardest.”
Cobra Kai truly never dies and neither does the devil who created it.
OTHER STUFF THAT EXISTS IN THIS DOJO
Daniel tries hard to attract students. He fails to entice them with his video or with his methods. So he tries to drive the message home by traveling to a pool party to get parents’ kids to sign up…and that fails. But when Robby secretly films Daniel taking out pick-pockets and offers to toss it up online to show that they’re as good as Cobra Kai, Daniel’s like “nope, no good” because “kArAtE iS aBoUt SeLf DeFeNsE”…good lord, dude. The thievesattacked you and you defended yourself accordingly. I will never understand some of the characterizations sometimes.
Speaking of…the Miyagi references, while nice, can be silly and treacly. Such was the case this week when Daniel goes to the beach and thinks he sees Mr. Miyagi fishing. It’s not, of course. Just some dude there to give Daniel a convenient lesson about patience. Cue the reed flute and a speech later about patience from Daniel to Sam and Robby. How Sam and Robby haven’t joined Cobra Kai after committing Daniel to an asylum to deal with his obsessive Miyagi issues is beyond me.
For some reason, the series continues to lightly touch on “The Karate Kid, Part III” and doesn’t really go into Kreese’s relationship with Terry Silver or Mike Barnes past a couple mentions. It would be nice to see either of the two show up this season or next.
This week on Supertrash, Alyssa and Jen discuss Supergirl 4.20 “Will the Real Eve Teschmacher Please Stand Up” and Legends of Tomorrow 4.14 “Nip/Stuck.”
There was so much to love in this Supergirl episode. First, there was Supercorp to the MAX. We also got to see James become a team player and fight alongside Brainy and Nia. Honestly, even though it was plopped in the middle of this episode out of nowhere we even liked the Alex adoption storyline! And for Legends, could we love Charlie even more? Also, we needs us more Nora and Ava time ASAP!
By the way, “Cards to Save the Timeline” actually exists in the writers’ room and I bet I could beat any of the @LoTWritersRoom in a showdown. So when’s game night, gang? #LegendsOfTomorrow
— Kate — Lucifer Spoilers (@LgndsWaverider) May 7, 2019
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It’s interesting to see Eli in such a low place because Demetri almost has this very same moment late in “All In”, confessing to Daniel (Ralph Macchio) everything about his personal life when Eli was his only friend before Eli and others decided to be “cool” and enlist in Cobra Kai. Demetri wants what Eli has but what he doesn’t seem to be aware of is how fortunate he is to be under Daniel’s wing. Eli certainly got his sought-after popularity — but it cost him his innocence and, in a manner of speaking, his soul. And it seems fateful that, much like Daniel and Johnny, Eli and Demetri are destined to clash.
