‘iZombie’ Review: “Looking for Mr. Goodbrain, Part 1”

June 23, 2017

iZombie

Season 3 Episode 12: “Looking for Mr. Goodbrain, Part 1”
Original Air Date: June 20, 2017

This week on iZombie, Liv gets a new look and I will never be able to look at Ravi the same way ever again.

I think I should just let Liv explain where we left off last week:

Ravi: “Where have you been? I had to do all the county paperwork by myself!”
Liv: “Just tracking Harley Johns to his secret outhouse bunker, realizing he turned into a zombie. Then subduing him, stashing him in a freezer.”
Ravi: “Ah, well…. I did the paperwork.”

Zombies are Real

Ravi breaks the news to Liv that her zombie-ed out mug is on the front page of a newspaper accompanied with a full article about zombies existence and ways to identify them. Suffice to say, Liv is freaking out, as she is now Seattle’s Poster Girl for Zombies. The next morning Liv continues to express her concerns to Peyton, but Peyton assures her that no one will think that monster on the front page is actually Liv, even though it is indeed a picture of Liv.

Peyton and Liv’s morning bestie routine causes Liv to be late to work which in this case is good because Rachel is at the morgue to “apologize” to Ravi about the article while simultaneously harassing him for more zombie information. He tries to get rid of Rachel, in fear of her recognizing Liv when she arrives, but he has nothing to worry about here. In addition to bringing Ravi his triple full fat chai latte with light foam and extra cinnamon (which Liv refers to as “a triple candy ass latte”) she has also brought a new look: She dyed and tanned. Well actually she caked a shit ton of make-up on her face and wore a blonde wig, but it does the trick all the same.

Crime of the Week:

Victim: Katty Kupps (CDC Epidemiologist/Ravi’s former boss who he banged half a second after confessing his love to Peyton). Cause of Death: Blunt trauma to the noggin.

Katty had been in Seattle to investigate several cases of Aleutian Flu that have popped up in the area. Kupps’ role in the investigation was to interview first class passengers from the Paris to Seattle flight where they believe the outbreak occurred. While the CDC is deeming this a “potential outbreak,” the fact that a similar rash of cases have not been reported in Paris coupled with the fact that the virus had been essentially eradicated years ago leads Ravi to believe this is actually a case of bioterrorism.

Liv is very resistant to eating Katty’s brain because having a vision of Ravi having sex is absolutely the last thing she ever wants to see. But, for the good of her city, Liv makes the sacrifice, and chows down some Microwave KattyKuppcakes.

Her worst nightmares are quickly confirmed when Ravi drops a pen during an interrogation and she has a flash of Ravi going down on Kupps. Then, ugh I am cringing thinking about this let alone having to describe it, she has a vision of Ravi in bed screaming out “Dead Kittens, Winston Churchill eating fried chicken, flatulent Jabba the Hut.” I have no words for this because I have no idea what is happening right here and I don’t ever, EVER find out.

Liv continues her investigation into Ms. Kupps death by frequenting the hotel bar where Katty was staying. Initially, her visits were work related, but she starts to find herself unable to leave the bar and is subsequently confused and frustrated at her constant desire to pick up men. Night after night she stays at the bar until last call chatting up a handsome lad and it takes every ounce of willpower for her to stop herself from sleeping with these men. That is until Chase shows up.

Before I get into the Chase/Liv part, I’ll quickly discuss the Justin and Liv. After Liv’s second almost brush with a one-night stand, Liv invites Justin to her apartment so they can DTR where Justin says “of course” they are exclusive and Liv just goes with it.

Okay back to Chase and Liv! Even though Liv is supposed to be accompanying Justin to Major’s farewell party, she is yet again drawn back to the hotel bar. Who does she happen to run into at the bar? That is right, one Mr. Chase Graves! The two grab some drinks and try to guess the sexual fantasies of all of the surrounding couple. Eventually, this leads to Chase and Liv revealing their deepest sexual fantasies to each other. First up is Chase: there is this desk in his hotel room, right up again a window, and all he wants to do is to bang someone on it. Second is Liv: we actually only get to hear that it begins with her being naked because next thing you know Liv is up in Chase’s room on that very lucky desk.

I have not been shy about my desire for Chase and Liv to get together. After their first interaction, that lasted maybe a minute, I was already trying to come up with Shipper names. And I have to say, the build up didn’t disappoint. I do feel bad that Liv cheated on Justin, but I just wanted these two together so badly! Also, I have seen the argument that this was just Katty’s brain that caused Liv to sleep with Chase but I disagree. Obviously, I am biased, but there was always a sexual chemistry between these two, and they were bound to sleep with each other sooner or later.

Chase goes to the bathroom to freshen up after the pair’s passionate physical activities. He introduces Liv to his little pup who was locked in the bathroom while they were in the throes of passion and invites her to stay for brain tubes and room service. Awwww, I think Chase wants a relationship! Look at his smile! He is so adorable! While Chase is chatting it up though, she finds a napkin on his nightstand with Katty’s name and her room number.

Major

Chase calls Major to his office so share some yummy brain tubes with him which Major reluctantly takes a little nibble of. But Major isn’t there to share a meal with the boss. The reason Chase called him to his office is to discuss Shawna’s Tumblr which includes this lovely piece of art:

Sex Tent: a haiku
We built a sex tent
We did it in the sex tent
Then we did it some more

Shawna’s inability to write a proper haiku isn’t Chase’s problem with the Tumblr though. His issue is that the site clearly demonstrates that Major had sex with a human, and that human did not turn into a zombie…. ergo Major isn’t a zombie and Chase needs to let him go. Since FG is really the only family that Major has now, he pleads with Chase to give him a second chance. He is willing to do anything to stay: work as a desk jockey, a janitor, anything. But Chase says no, and I don’t blame him. Major put people’s lives at risk. He is the reason that a video of Justin zombie-ing out was posted on YouTube. Major should have just told the truth from the beginning. I know that this would have meant revealing to FG about the zombie cure, but it had already been stolen, so there doesn’t seem to be too much harm there.

The party is all good and fun until Harley, the brand new hot mess zombie, arrives with a vest full of explosives and blows up the party. Major is outside comforting Justin over his Liv woes at the time of the explosion, but Natalie isn’t as lucky. Since she is no longer a zombie, I think it is safe to assume that she died in the blast.

Wrap Up

So first, I called the Carey Gold involvement and the fact that Baracus is not involved at all. I love being right. I am not sure how right I am though because there are still so many aspects of everything that are unclear. First, what is this Aleutian Flu. I saw some speculation that the Aleutian Flu is the zombie virus, but I really don’t think this is the case. I have to admit I don’t remember if they mentioned the flu or why Katty Kupps was in Seattle when she first appeared in the second episode. The flu is almost always an airborne virus, and the zombie virus is not. Also, I am assuming that not all of the Aleutian Flu patients are dead. You would think, especially after reading the article about zombies, that Katty would have connected the key signs of being a zombie to the symptoms of the Aleutian Flu if they were indeed the same. This flu thing and its connection to FG and Carey Gold is a complete mystery to me confused even further by Chase.

The presence of Katty’s room number scribbled on a napkin creates a clear connection between Chase and Katty. The question is, was it just innocent flirting at the bar as Katty was known to do, or did Chase obtain this information with nefarious intent. Chase did not sleep with Katty, because if he did she would be a zombie. Just, please, I really hope Chase isn’t that big bad. Please, please, Please. I also think it is weird that the stolen Zombie Cure still has not been addressed.

Other Things

The preview for next week shows that some of the zombies survived the explosion, as one of the FG zombies crawls himself out from under the wreckage. If a zombie can survive that explosion, does that mean that Vivian Stoll’s could have survived? I am guessing the answer is no because Andrea Savage has a new show premiering soon. But a girl can still hope!
I didn’t put it in my review, but one thing I originally found odd about Tatum Weckler was how she happened to be living with a zombie family after she was infected, and the fact that she did made me think that Weckler’s death had to be connected to FG. So this reveal felt gratifying.
Was anyone else really worried about Liv potentially sleeping with a human especially after the episode made it a point to state that sex with a zombie will definitely infect a human.
There were so many little quips here and there in the episode that were hilarious. This is one of my favorites though

Katty: “You alright?”
Ravi: “It’s an old quidditch injury.”

‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ review: ‘Yongary’

Matt Perri

June 22, 2017

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
Season 11, Episode 9
“Yongary”
Available on Netflix
GRADE: A

When you think “Kaiju”, you don’t think of the UK or Denmark…hell, even South Korea seems unlikely because North Korea would just launch a bunch of missiles at the ocean in retaliation. But, we got “Gorgo” from the UK and “Reptillicus” from Denmark…and, now, “Yongary” from South Korea. It’s the answer to “What would happen if you mixed Gamera with Godzilla and then made him as lazy as a hipster on Spring Break?” Marvel as the requisite Monster Child uses an “Itch Gun” on his best friends before using it on Yongary to make him dance like a goofball! Thrill as Monster Child betrays his monster friend and works in close contact with the military to order a full strike behind his back! Stand there bewildered as Monster Child spends five minutes answering press questions about the murdering of his best friend while grinning like a madman! Yongary is good, clean Asian Monster Cinema for the whole family!

There’s always something so comfortable about watching a giant monster flick on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s the feel of it: the stilted dubbing, the hushed audio, the silly musical scoring, the sound of the Monster Children yapping at the monster in the film…everything about giant monster films is just so silly that it melds incredibly well with everything MST3K is. Both are made on the cheap and have conviction in their campy attitude. They’re like brethren, two sides of the same coin where the only difference is that one takes itself semi-seriously and the other has dropped all pretense about being serious. It’s just “home” to me. “Yongary” is everything that was great about MST3K’s treatment of the Sandy Frank films and it’s the best episode of the new season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 to date. If the monster didn’t already give Jonah and the Bots plenty of ammunition, Icho, the Monster Child, does in spades. From aggravating newlyweds with an “itching gun” (yes, this is a thing that exists in this movie) to shaming single adults into not being married, Icho is this season’s “Johnny” from “Time of the Apes”: he just doesn’t care. There’s also a running riff using popular songs from nearly every decade which just shows the range of intelligence of the writers when it comes to pop culture.

The sketches are mostly fun with some real gems: Jonah and the Bots invent “Tiny Desks”, the desk you can flip over in anger without fear of damaging or ruining workplace or personal property while Kinga and Max have teamed with “Todd Hitler” to make “Hitler Coffee”, an attempt to finally do away with the whole “Hitler stigma”…except that it leaves a Hitler mustache on whomever drinks it. There also a solid ending sketch with Jonah and the Bots singing about their anguish at having witnesses the bloody death of Yongary, causing Kinga and Max to belt out an accompanying tune about their regret at having caused such anguish…but, of course, that doesn’t last. It’s nicely accentuated with a slight punchline wherein Max attempts to restart the musical finish after Kinga tells him to push the button — only to stop, mid-verse when Kinga glares a hole in his head. Great stuff. Honorable mention goes out to Servo promoting “Yongary Nights”, a night club that “mixes the sexy fun of a nightclub with the end-of-days feel of a monster attack”. The rest (Jonah and the Bots share dream journals; discussing hanging out with monsters; astronaut musical tastes) are a mixed bag but don’t make the episode any less funny.

“Yongary” is a nice recovery from the incredibly dull “The Loves of Hercules”. It’s incredibly fun to watch and extremely funny both in and out of the theater. The film provides for so many laughs, it forces you to pause the movie so you can recover and see what you missed while you were laughing and the sketches, thankfully, are void of gratuitous, forced celebrity cameos where the jokes mostly fall flat, giving us a hilarious invention exchange and an incredibly funny close. The only thing the show needs to work on are the middle sketches which are hit and miss due to uneven allowances of time which makes the execution of said sketches fall flat. Aside from this, however, “Yongary” is, easily, the best Mystery Science Theater 3000 has had to offer so far.

And, now…this week’s gems:

SUNA: Why do scientists act as though the only important work in the world is what they’re up to? All he ever talks to me about is his stupid work, and I must say, I don’t get half of it! I think he makes it up on his own.
SERVO (as SUNA): “I mean, what’s an ‘iPad’?”

ILO: Now, come here…
(ILO leads ICHO to a set of toy robots on his desk.)
SERVO (as ILO): “These used to be boys, like you…”
ILO: Look, you can please with these instead.
(ILO turns on the toy robots for ICHO. The robots start moving around much to ICHO’s delight.)
ICHO: Hey! Those are terrific!
CROW (as robots): “Kill all humans! KILL ALL HUMANS!”
(ICHO giggles with glee.)
JONAH: So, toy robots and shooting family members with an experimental weapon are equally entertaining to this kid? Good to know…psychopath…

(OH-NA dresses up in really elaborately tame lingerie for her sleeping husband.)
CROW (as OH-NA): “Mm, nothing gets a guy going like layers!”
(OH-NA throws on another layer on top of the two layers she already has on and walks to check over to the living room to check on her sleeping husband.)
JONAH (as OH-NA): “Ok…you got this. Deep breath…and showtime!”
(OH-NA slowly creeps up on her sleeping husband.)
SERVO (as OH-NA): “Guess who’s dressed like your grandmaaaa?”
(OH-NA puts her hands up in the air as if she’s going to do something sinister.)
JONAH AND THE BOTS: AAAAA!!!
(OH-NA pinches her husband’s nose. He wakes, startled.)
JONAH (as HUSBAND): “Whoa! Uh, how was I? Was it good for you?”
HUSBAND: Huh…I must’ve dozed.
SERVO: This is all part of his elaborate love play.
(HUSBAND yawns and stretches his arms.)
HUSBAND: Boy…I’m really tired tonight.
(OH-NA walks away, facing the other direction.)
OH-NA: You can sleep afterwards!
CROW: After WHAT, Jonah?
JONAH: Uh…don’t worry about it.
CROW: Ok…
HUSBAND: You’re not going to be a nagging wife now, are you, my dear?
SERVO (as HUSBAND): “That’s not what I’m INTO…”
OH-NA: I bore you already. Looks like our marriage is doomed.
HUSBAND: No…
JONAH (as HUSBAND): “Yes…”
HUSBAND: That happens whenever I get married.
JONAH: “Whenever”?!
HUSBAND: I get tense…
OH-NA: You were smiling. And really, I don’t know how you can be tense and smile all at one time.
CROW (as OH-NA): “Like Ryan Seacrest.”
HUSBAND: Oh, it’s easy at weddings…especially when marrying the world’s loveliest girl.
SERVO (as HUSBAND): “…in the world’s loveliest ribbon.”
OH-NA: Let’s not talk politics now.
(OH-NA walks away to the couch.)
HUSBAND: Oh, now sweetheart…
(HUSBAND walks after her and sits down on the couch beside her.)
JONAH (as HUSBAND): “Hey, you think we can tell each other our names now?”
HUSBAND: If that subject doesn’t interest you…this might.
(HUSBAND grabs OH-NA and full on makes out with her.)
(SERVO imitates the sound of a plane crashing.)
CROW (as HUSBAND, muffled from kissing): “Am I doing it right? Am I doing it right like this?”
SERVO (as OH-NA, muffled from kissing): “Try closer to my mouth!”
(A device starts beeping. The couple stops kissing.)
JONAH (as OH-NA): “We triggered the sex alarm!”
OH-NA: That’s just my father in the control center. I’m sure he thinks he’s funny.
SERVO (as HUSBAND): “Let’s put him ON!”
(OH-NA goes for another make-out session but HUSBAND pulls away.)
CROW (as HUSBAND): “But, I have to answer…it could be that radio contest I entered!”
(HUSBAND gets up off the couch and walks into parlor room.)
JONAH (as HUSBAND): “WHEW! That was CLOSE!”
(HUSBAND goes and unpacks a small suitcase.)
SERVO: Well, they did pack LIGHT…
(HUSBAND raises the radio antenna.)
CROW (as other end of radio): “Billy, it’s Timmy! Did you get to first base yet? Over!”

BRIDE’S FATHER: We’ll need you here within an hour.
HUSBAND: Very well, sir.
(OH-NA grabs the radio from HUSBAND.)
JONAH (as OH-NA): “I HATE YOU, DAD! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!”
OH-NA: Please get someone else, can’t you?
SERVO (as OH-NA): “For ME?”
OH-NA: He’s supposed to be HERE tonight!
BRIDE’S FATHER: I’m sorry, dear.
CROW (as FATHER): “He’s got the keys to the rocket.”
FATHER: It’s a pity. He’s the only one who can handle it. It’ll last two days. We’ll get him…
JONAH (as FATHER): “…sheet cake.”
FATHER: …a two-week vacation when he returns. All right?
OH-NA: I guess so…there’s apparently no choice.
(OH-NA lowers the radio antenna.)
(SERVO imitates slide whistle downward.)
CROW (as OH-NA): “That’s a metaphor for our honeymoon!”

(Several cars drive to the capsule landing site. This goes on for at least a minute.)
JONAH: Thank god they’re showing this, or else we’d have to assume they all teleported to where ever they’re going.

(HUSBAND steps out of space capsule, grinning.)
JONAH (as CHARLTON HESTON from PLANET OF THE APES): “YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT ALL UP! GOD DAMN YOU–JK, everything’s fine! What’s up, everybody?”

(KOREAN TROOPS enter war room with a bloody photographer.)
SOLIDER: Sir, we found this man three miles from the earthquake center.
CROW (as BLOODY PHOTOGRAPHER): “I tried to photograph Alec Baldwin and look what happened!”

(POLICE patrol Korean highways.)
JONAH: Highway Patrol?! That seems like an odd choice for a first response to a Kaiju.
SERVO (as PATROLMAN): “Yongary! Pull over! You’re under arrest for driving while Yongary!”
JONAH: I think that’s it. I think we’ve gone through all our motorcycle material.
SERVO: Uh, no…wait, I got something — uh…the CHiPs theme…
CROW: Do you KNOW the CHiPs theme?
SERVO: I know it HAD a theme. You know, you guys expect too much sometimes.
JONAH: Ok, uh, what about this: uh…”Get your motor running! Get out on the highway!”
SERVO: “Lookin’ for adventure!”
CROW: “BORN TO BE…mild…”

(There’s an explosion coming from a distant hillside beyond a stone wall.)
JONAH: “That’s just North Korea. They do that…A LOT.”

WOMAN: Please don’t go, Ilo!
ILO: Don’t you worry. I have to go. I’ll be all right.
ICHO: I’ll go, too.
JONAH (as ICHO): “Death and destruction are my jam! Whee!”

(YONGARY destroys another building.)
CROW: Luckily, that was a Radio Shack, so no one was in there.

(YONGARY continues to destroy South Korea.)
JONAH: You know, whereas GODZILLA was a parable about the ravages of nuclear war, YONGARY is a parable about copyright infringement.

(YONGARY hunches over and begins slowly limping away.)
JONAH: Isn’t this the part of the James Brown show where they bring out the cape and try to lead him off-stage?

(ILO and his family show up and speak with KOREAN SOLDIERS.)
ILO: Hello, I’m Professor Ilo Nami. I’ve got to get a closer look at Yongary. Will you please let me in?
SOLIDER: You got here a bit too late.
CROW (as SOLDIER): “He’s dead. Movie’s over.”
SOLIDER: They’re going to hit Yongary any minute.
SERVO (as SOLDIER): “We’re just waiting for the shockwave.”
SOLDIER: They’ll be using guided missiles.
JONAH: Sergeant Loose-Lips right here…
SOLDIER: You better go.
SERVO (as ILO): “Um…we’re not going…”
SOLIDER: They’re going to hit Yongary any minute.
CROW: Did they hit a glitch in the Matrix?
SOLIDER: They’ll be using guided missiles.
JONAH (as SOLDIER): “Go! I’m out of dialogue!”
SOLDIER: You better go.
SUNA: Missiles? Really?
SERVO (as SOLDIER): “YEAH! ANY MINUTE!”
ILO: They’ll be no use.
SOLDIER: Well, let’s hope they are. Anyway, I have my orders.
CROW (as ILO): “Say, you think they have missiles?”
ILO: Then I guess we better go to headquarters!
(ILO and his family turn and run back to the truck.)
JONAH (as ICHO): “SHOTGUN!”

(Rain pours all over the place. Lightning crashes.)
CROW: Now even GOD is trying to end this movie.

(Everyone in the chemical room has fallen asleep. ICHO, however, is awake and sneaks over to a desk where the Itch Ray sits.)
JONAH: Oh, let me guess: he’s gonna steal the itch ray again.
CROW: Ugh! This movie’s more repetitive than a Ramones song.

(ICHO dances around and YONGARY dances along with him. Suddenly, the military comes in and grabs ICHO, pulling him to safety.)
JONAH: I guess dancing’s forbidden in the Republic of Footloose.

(YONGARY breathes fire at a Korean pilot wearing an orange jumpsuit and white helmet. The pilot dies.)
JONAH: Porkins! NO!

(YONGARY is beginning to die. He spins and flails and destroys a nearby bridge.)
JONAH: You know, this was the original ending to “Bridge on the River Kwai”.
CROW: Really?
JONAH: Yeah, yeah. Then David Lean decided to take out all the monster stuff. He felt it pulled focus from the human drama.

(ICHO’s big sister has a look of disdain on her face.)
SERVO: You can tell his sister’s gonna be a real bridezilla.
CROW: You mean bride-GARY?
SERVO: Hey!

1:13:36 – Bridge on the River Kwai

FOX Announces 2017-2018 Season Fall Premiere Dates

Bilal Mian

June 22, 2017

Fox has revealed their 2017-2018 Fall lineup for their new season of television.

Kicking off the season will be the new comedic drama The Orville, from creator and executive producer Seth MacFarlane and director Jon Favreau. The Orville will debut with a special two-night series premiere on Sunday, Sept. 10 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT) and Sunday, Sept. 17 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT), immediately following the NFL doubleheaders before making its home on Thursday nights on Sept. 28 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT), following Gotham’s Season Four return (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT).

The new buddy comedy Ghost, starring Craig Robinson and Adam Scott, will premiere on Oct. 1 (8:30-9:00 PM ET/PT) alongside the new seasons of Bob’s Burgers (7:30-8:00 PM ET/PT), The Simpsons (8:00-8:30 PM ET/PT), Family Guy (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) and The Last Man on Earth (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT).

Lethal Weapon‘s second season will kick-off Tuesday nights, beginning Sept. 26 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT), followed by the season premieres of The Mick (9:00-9:30 PM ET/PT) and Brooklyn Nine-Nine (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT).

Fox and Marvel’s X-Men series, The Gifted, will round of the premiere schedule on October 2.

The full schedule can be found below:

Sunday, Sept. 10, Immediately Following NFL ON FOX Doubleheader

8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT THE ORVILLE (Special Series Premiere, Part 1)

Sunday, Sept. 17, Immediately Following NFL ON FOX Doubleheader

8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT THE ORVILLE (Special Series Premiere, Part 2)

Tuesday, Sept. 26

8:00-9:00 PM LETHAL WEAPON (Season Two Premiere)

9:00-9:30 PM THE MICK (Season Two Premiere)

9:30-10:00 PM BROOKLYN NINE-NINE (Season Five Premiere)

Wednesday, Sept. 27

8:00-9:00 PM EMPIRE (Season Four Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM STAR (Season Two Premiere)

Thursday, Sept. 28

8:00-9:00 PM GOTHAM (Season Four Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM THE ORVILLE (Time Period Series Premiere)

Friday, Sept. 29

8:00-9:00 PM HELL’S KITCHEN (Season 17 Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM THE EXORCIST (Season Two Premiere)

Sunday, Oct. 1

7:30-8:00 PM BOB’S BURGERS (Season Eight Premiere)

8:00-8:30 PM THE SIMPSONS (Season 29 Premiere)

8:30-9:00 PM GHOSTED (Series Premiere)

9:00-9:30 PM FAMILY GUY (Season 15 Premiere)

9:30-10:00 PM THE LAST MAN ON EARTH (Season Four Premiere)

Monday, Oct. 2

8:00-9:00 PM LUCIFER (Season Three Premiere)

9:00-10:00 PM THE GIFTED (Series Premiere)

‘Game of Thrones’ Season 7 trailer #2: Flaming Swords, Dragons, and White Walkers, oh my!

Jen Stayrook

June 21, 2017

“When the snows fall, and the white wind blows, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.”

We’ve waited long enough and now, Game of Thrones’ seventh season is at our doorstep. Only a few more weeks until we delve into the climactic final seasons of the series, learning once and for the fates of all our favorite characters in Westeros. Knowing that we are absolutely foaming at the mouth for more information regarding the seventh season, HBO has released a second (and even more beautiful) trailer for the penultimate season:

All Thrones fans are equal now. Last season, book readers at least kind of had hints about upcoming events in the world, however, the seventh season will be brand new to us all. And if it’s anything like the final two episodes of the sixth season, I couldn’t be more excited. Let the theorizing begin!

Here are some of the highlights from the trailer:

The stunning “Light of the Seven” theme makes an epic return in the trailer
Beric Dondarrion uses his flaming sword
The dothraki, unsullied, and dragons fight side by side
Jon Snow’s Dream Team including: Beric, Thoros of Myr, the Hound, and Tormund Giantsbane
The potential for Sansa to end Littlefinger’s role as “lone wolf”
Dany in Dragonstone
CERSEI STILL LIVES

What are your favorite parts of the Game of Thrones season seven trailer?

Game of Thrones returns July 16th, 2017.

Sega Forever Brings ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ and Other Classics to Mobile as Free to Play Titles

Bilal Mian

June 21, 2017

Sega is bringing a growing collection of classic video games from every console era to mobile devices for free.

The collection, called Sega Forever, kicks off today with five free-to-play titles that will be ad supported and playable offline.

“Above all else Sega Forever is a celebration of nostalgia. It’s about allowing fans to reconnect with past experiences and share them with family and friends in an accessible and convenient way,” explained Mike Evans, CMO of SEGA’s Mobile Division in the West in a press release. “Join us on a journey of rediscovery as we roll out two decades of classic games free on mobile. Create your own ‘Sega Forever folder’ and collect your favorite classics. Enjoy moments of nostalgia on the go, or sync a Bluetooth controller to enjoy a console-like experience in your living room. SEGA Forever democratizes retro gaming, and seeks to change how the world plays, rediscovers, and shares in classic game experiences.”

The first round of games will consist of these Mega Drive/Genesis titles:

Sonic The Hedgehog, the 1991 household classic that has remained at the forefront of hearts and minds since inception
Phantasy Star II, the longtime fan-favourite RPG from 1989
Comix Zone and Kid Chameleon, two American titles developed by SEGA’s in-house studio STI
Altered Beast, the original Genesis pack-in title, a beat-em-up set in Ancient Greece that represents a weird and wonderful segment of the SEGA catalogue that is ripe for rediscovery

The games will feature cloud saves, controller support, and leaderboards. Players will be able to purchase an ad-free version for $1.99 through in-app purchases.

The Sega Forever collection will grow with additional releases coming every two weeks.

‘iZombie’ Review: “Conspiracy Weary”

Alyssa Berkowitz

June 19, 2017

iZombie

Season 3 Episode 11: “Conspiracy Weary”
Original Air Date: June 13, 2017

This week provided us with another action packed episode of iZombie. “Conspiracy Weary” addressed and propelled forward all of the ongoing storylines of the season in preparation for the final two episodes.

“Conspiracy Weary” starts off right where the last episode left off, with Harley pointing a gun at Ravi. Well, have no fear because Liv and Blaine are here, and they are ready to save their respective besties. They also get some help from the Fillmore-Graves army who arrive shortly after. Harley is the only member of the anti-zombie militia to survive the attack and he flees the scene of the crime. The other three dudes are not as lucky. Harley’s brother Bo falls victim to Don E and Blaine, and the other two unnamed members die in a blaze of glory while trying to attack some FG troops.

FG troops and Liv Moore in the same location! That must mean a Chase/Liv scene! Yes, this is the first and last scene these two have together this episode. And yes, it only lasts two minutes at most, but I will take whatever I can get. I don’t even remember what these two talked about, but that could be attributed to me being utterly distracted by their sexual chemistry. I mean, just look at how Chase looks at Liv. The connection between Chase and Liv (in my eyes at least) was further confirmed by the bland and boring interaction Liv has with Justin a moment later.

Back inside, Don E is dealing with his starvation by munchin’ on Bo Johns’ brain with Blaine. Liv joins in on the feast because the best way to find Harley is to get inside his brother’s brain. Aww, look how cute these three are breaking brains together.

Turns out that Bo was a full on conspiracy theorist, which is making it very hard for Liv to focus on the facts of the case. The best chance that Liv has for finding out where Harley is hiding is to trigger a vision. Ravi suggests that they recruit Blaine and Don E to help since they also ate the brain. Pros of this decision: you have triple of the odds of getting some useful information. Cons of this decision: All these three want to do is discuss Tupac/Biggie conspiracy theories. Eventually, Blaine, Don E and Liv have a tandem vision, but sadly, it provides no useful information for the case.

Meanwhile, at FG, Chase discovers the location of Harley’s secret cabin. Or something like that. Do they really expect me to pay attention to plot or dialogue while this is on my screen?

Anywho, the FG troops head out to the cabin to capture Harley but just as they are about to start the raid the Major and Justin receive a text from Liv telling them to abort the mission because Harley’s cabin has been abandoned for years. Aka, it is a trap. Unfortunately, Liv’s warning does not come in time, and FG loses two of their soldiers.

Clive is still determined to find out where Harley is hiding, especially once ballistics confirms that the gun in Harley’s truck was the same gun used in Wally’s death and at Baracus’s fundraiser. After some hardcore detectiving, Clive learns that the Johns cabin may not be as abandoned as they originally thought. When he and Liv arrive at the cabin they find a secret bunker hidden inside an outhouse (I feel like I should make some sort of poop joke here, but I can’t think of one witty enough). Inside they find a one, Mr. Harley Johns, Professional Zombie Hater, is now a zombie. While down in the bunker, Liv has another Bo Johns vision and learns that Harley did not kill Wally and his family.

Peyton

After finding a key to a safety deposit box in Mr. Weckler’s personal effects, Peyton recruits Weckler’s daughter Tatum to lead her to the said safety deposit box. Peyton is pretty sure that the box will contain the stolen footage from Sweet Lady Pain’s sex dungeon. Her hunch proves correct because when Tatum and Peyton open the safety deposit box they find a small memory card hidden inside a jewelry box. Peyton also learns that Tatum is a zombie and all pieces of the Weckler mystery begin to fall into place. Peyton and Liv’s new theory is this: Barracus blackmailed Weckler to steal the memory card from Sweet Lady Pain by making Tatum a Zombie and threaten withholding brains from her. When he messed up and killed the dominatrix he hired a prison guard to kill Weckler and then hired someone else to kill the prison guard… all so he could get elected Mayor.

Major and Shawna

Turns out trusting a serial killer fangirl is a bad idea because, as predicted by basically everyone, Shawna had alternative motives sleeping with Major. Shawna has been posting every text message exchanged, video recorded, and photo taken with Major onto a Tumblr. These two have only been banging for the past two days and were cooped up in Fort Lust for most of that time. How do they have so many text convos? Shawna tries to defend her of violation of Major’s privacy and trust by saying she did it so people could know the “real Major.” Not just the man they think is the Chaos Killer/Kidnapper. Major isn’t buying it and breaks it off with Shawna. Of course Major made the right decision here, but you know that rejecting someone that insane will have its consequences, and for Major, this was his:

Ravi and Rachel

After the attack, Rachel is freaked out and goes to Ravi for comfort, but is even more freaked out when she finds out Ravi’s roommate is the Chaos Killer/Kidnapper. Eventually, though, Rachel goes back to Ravi for comfort and answers, and Ravi gives her all of them. And I mean ALL OF THEM. It is not until he walks past a newspaper stand and sees a picture of Zombie-ed out Liv on the cover that he realizes that Rachel was using and abusing him for an article she was writing.

Final Thoughts

Going into the final stretch these are the major plotlines/mysteries:

Who killed Wally and his family?
Everything about Mr. Weckler/The Dominatrix sex tape/Barracus
Who was behind the helicopter explosion that killed the one and only Vivian Stoll?
Who stole the Zombie Cure?

The Zombie Cure storyline has not been addressed since the cure was stolen, so I have nothing to add on that front.

The real question is how are the other three mysteries on the list connected. The gun in Harley’s car was the same one used to kill Wally and his family, but Harley didn’t do the killing. That same gun was used to shoot up Barracus’s party. The thing is, I don’t think Barracus is the big bad behind all of this, I think it is someone else pulling the strings.

Here is my theory: I think it is Carey Gold that is behind it all. I think her kind and caring persona is just an act. She was the only top exec at FG not to die in the helicopter crash. She was buddy buddy with Barracus during the party, directing him where to be and when. She could have easily arranged that shooting as a ploy to get more sympathy votes and she could have had Wally and his family killed to get more zombies on board with D-Day preparations. So Carey Gold, that is my pick for the mastermind.

Also, on a side note, these past two episodes have been the be strongest of the season. I would also like to point out that neither of these episodes had a “crime of the week,” and I don’t think that this is a coincidence. A “Crime of the Week” isn’t needed every episode, especially when you are deep enough into the series where the show’s mythology and underlining plotlines are strong enough on their own. The “Crimes of the Week” should be based around the story, not the other way around. (This is one of the many issues that I had in the final season of Person of Interest as well). I don’t mean to constantly harp on this point, but I think it is an important one to make.

‘Shadowhunters’ Review: Almost a Downworld Uprising

Nicole C

June 19, 2017

SHADOWHUNTERS - "Those of Demon Blood" - After several Shadowhunters are killed, The Institute turns to controversial methods to prevent a Downworlder uprising in ÒThose of Demon Blood,Ó an all-new episode of ÒShadowhuntersÓ airing Tuesday, June 19 (8:00 - 9:00 PM ET/PT). (Freeform/John Medland) DOMINIC SHERWOOD, ALISHA WAINWRIGHT

A killer runs loose in the shadow world in this week’s episode of Shadowhunters. Someone is murdering Nephilim and carving out their runes for extra brutality. It’s up to Jace, Alec, Izzy, Clary, and Simon to find out who is responsible before a Downworld uprising happens.

Tensions are already high between Downworlders and the Shadowhunters after Jace accidentally activated the Soul Sword and Valentine used it to instantaneously wipe out a number of vampires, werewolves, and fairies whom had come to the aid of the squad. The first victim appears to be mauled by a werewolf and Luke is brought in for questioning on the orders of the Inquisitor. She brings up that he had just asked for the destruction of the Soul Sword for killing all those Downworlders and since they refused, she thinks this is motive for revenge. He defends himself and his pack saying that if anyone under him did this, he would kill the murderer himself. Angry, Luke gives a sample of his own DNA to prove that he had nothing to do with this. He is cleared and in order to assure Imogen that none of their friends could be responsible for this, they go off to seek DNA from the others.

Alec goes to Magnus who is still feeling the effects of being tortured as Valentine. When his boyfriend comes in asking for a lock of hair to clear him as a suspect, the warlock is deeply hurt and disturbed that Alec doesn’t trust him enough. But the other man a young Shadowhunter who is conditioned to follow orders, even though he’s conflicted about it. Once Magnus gives him what he’s asked for, Alec is told to get out.

Clary goes to Simon and he tells her about his grandmother who had survived the Holocaust. Because she had lived her life as a mundane and gone to school with him her entire life, Clary knows about the travesty that happened to the Jews during World War II. She quickly backs off, understanding that asking for his DNA on mere speculation was creature profiling and wrong. Clary convinces him to let her head back to the Institute by herself, but as they are chatting on the phone she gets attacked by a hooded figure. We find out that this villain had been somehow drugging the Nephilim so that they are unable to fight back. Luckily though, Simon rushes to her aid. Her mysterious attacker flees and the vampire takes her back to the Institute, only to be imprisoned because he refuses to leave her side.

Meanwhile, Jace is being heavily influenced by Imogen, who appoints him head of the Institute since she is being called back to Idris. Obviously she’s playing favorites because he is her grandson and at the same time trying to manipulate him into seeing things her way, which is to put temporary tracking chips on Downworlders as more Shadowhunters are being found dead with their runes carved off. Wanting to please grandma and feeling a sense of duty that comes with his newfound heritage as a Herondale, Jace goes along with her plan and goes to the Hunter’s Moon. Things take an ugly turn though as Maia is livid that he would ask this, showing that the Nephilim must view Downworlders as nothing more than animals. Pissed as all hell, she begins to beat the crap out of him but then the other Shadowhunter with Jace manages to inject her with the GPS chip. Luke comes in and breaks the fight, saying that this is how a real uprising starts. Is that what they want? Wordlessly, Jace and his companion leave the bar. Note: Maia throws a mean punch folks, you do not want to be on her bad side.

Speaking of which, Maia gets brought to the Institute because she is being accused to murdering another Shadowhunter since she was a block away from where the body was found. Clary accuses Imogen of letting fear blind her by wanting to track Downworlders and imprisoning Maia without real proof. However before she can say anything more the Inquisitor tells her that she is naïve and idealistic and asks her what she’s going to tell the families of the dead Shadowhunters. She then leaves for Idris and tells Jace to make her proud. Clary reminds him that it wasn’t too long ago that everyone thought he had demon blood and that if he wasn’t a Herondale Imogen would lock him up too. This finally wakes Jace up and he takes Clary to see Simon and apologizes to Maia for the tracking and being held prisoner. I’m totally digging this banter between the two.

Izzy in the meantime is now tutoring Max, who has come back to New York from Idris. However, she’s called to a mission to talk to Raphael about the killings and has to tell her younger brother that he needs to stay put for the night but their lessons start tomorrow. She goes to meet Raphael to find out if he has any information on the killings and he tells her that there is no way that vampires would remove runes from the Nephilim. In the past Shadowhunters had hunted Downworlders for sport taking fangs, claws, and warlock marks as trophies and his kind swore that they would never allow this kind of horror to happen to any creature again. Isabelle senses that the vampire is holding something back and begs him to tell her since they are desperate and need to capture the killer. He relents and explains that in the 80’s, Downworld came together and gave the Clave demands that were refused. Things got ugly and he overheard a Seelie knight tell the Seelie queen that the only way they would be taken seriously is to show the Nephilm how dangerous they were. In addition, he suggested that they take their runes. Who is this fairy? Meliorn (who is rocking his scar btw)! Izzy is able to track him because she had a shirt of his. They find themselves by the port where loads of containers are housed. Raphael senses that they have company and it turns out to be Max who tracked Izzy through a hair tie.

She tells him to stay put when the New York clan leader smells Nephilim blood. The two go to investigate and find Meliorn there kneeling over the dead body. The fairy claims that he didn’t do this and that he had been tracking the real killer who was a Seelie like him. Isabelle decides to trust him and asks Raphael to take Max back to the Institute. Unfortunately when she returns to his hiding place, her brother is gone. Uh oh, he’s been kidnapped! He gets taken to a lab of sorts where there are jars of eyeballs and other body parts. We then discover that the murderer is none other than Kaelie Whitewillow, the fey that Jace had a fling with. She’s super pissed because one of the Downworlders killed by the Soul Sword was her brother. She’s decided to kill Shadowhunters as revenge for taking away the only family she had left. Thankfully though, Izzy, Raphael, and Meliorn arrive and through teamwork they are able to kill the faerie and free Max.

Back at the Institute, Isabelle debriefs Jace and Alec and explains how Kaelie had vampire fangs, werewolf claws, and other items to make the murders look like a Downworld uprising. Jace congratulates her on a great job then proclaims that his first order of business as the head of the Institute is to give Alec the job instead. He’s realized that he’s a soldier while Alec is a leader. He also admits that Alec was right that all the citizens of the shadow world were a mix of human, angel, and demon blood and if they let the Clave forget that then they deserve a revolt.

Jace’s first assignment is to remove the tracker on Maia at the Hunter’s Moon. There, Simon is playing his debut solo gig where it’s a packed house because a number of vampires now want to be a part of his clan because he’s a daylighter. There had been some kind of prophecy that one day a great vampire leader would arise and that he would be able to walk in the sun, so now they all think that’s Simon and want to be his groupies. Maia is taking trash in the back alley when Jace finds her and he explains that he’s there to remove the chip. Once it’s out of her system, the werewolf is sassy as ever and rightfully says that she’s not going to say thank you because Nephilim were the ones who made the mistake. He apologizes again and Maia confronts him with the truth that he was willing to let all of Downworld burn because he’s still in love with Clary, to which he denies of course. She challenges him to prove it and Jace grabs her and they start a very aggressive makeout session in the alley. So romantic.

Final Thoughts

Imogen is totally lying that the Soul Sword is being purified. It’s still missing but in order not to cause a panic and to show that they are still in control, the Clave is pretending that they still have it in their possession.
Simon and Luke have the most awkward conversation ever. Be safe kids.
Holy crap Maia and Jace! That makeout scene at the end of this episode was hot. It’s definitely an interesting pairing and purely physical. Both of them still have lingering feelings for other people, ahem Clary and Simon and are using the other to get out some pent up physical frustration. Go for it hot people. Go for it.
Dot and Magnus caught up and we found out that the two dated a long time ago. While she was interested in rekindling their romance, Magnus reaffirmed that he was in love with Alec despite their disagreements.
Alberto Rosende has some singing chops, though we all saw this back in season 1 when he sang Forever Young with Maureen. Speaking of which I hope we see her character return in a new way *cough*
Alec coming over to Magnus’s to tell him that he was wrong and that the other man would never have to prove anything to him, about time Alexander! Finally Malec says their I love you’s and I squeal!
Where is Sebastian this week? Is he laying low to not get the attention of a certain Inquisitor? Surely Imogen would know of Sebastian Verlac from the London Institute?
It’s really interesting to see an extremist like Valentine that wants to eradicate the world of Downworlders versus Imogen who wants to control them. Neither is right because while there are terrible vampires, werewolves, warlocks, and faeries, there are also horrible nephilim.

Catch Shadowhunters Mondays at 8 PM on Freeform.

For more on Shadowhunters click HERE.

‘Super Mario Odyssey’ Gets October Release Date

Bilal Mian

June 13, 2017

Super Mario Odyssey is making its Nintendo Switch debut on October 27, 2017.

The newest entry in Mario franchise will return to the 3D sandbox format last seen in 2002’s Nintendo GameCube release of Super Mario Sunshine.

Mario’s new abilities, cap throw, cap jump, and capture, will assist players as they collect Moons in order to power up Mario’s airship, the Odyssey, in order to rescue Princess Peach from Bowser’s wedding plans.

Thanks to Cappy, Mario will be able to use the capture ability using his new hat in order to control objects and enemies to traverse the levels and solve puzzles.

What do you think of Super Mario Odyssey? Sound off below in the comments section.

‘The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild’ Expansion Pass Detailed, DLC Pack 1 Dated

Bilal Mian

June 13, 2017

Nintendo has revealed more details behind The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild expansion pass during their 2017 E3 Spotlight.

DLC Pack 1 “The Master Trials” will include Trial of the Sword, Master Mode, Hero’s Path Mode, Travel Medallion, Korok Mask, and eight new pieces of armor, and it will be released on June 30.

Details on “The Master Trails” can be found below:

Trial of the Sword challenges the player to go through waves of enemies in a total of 45 rooms. By completing the challenge, Link will prove that he has grown worthy, and the Master Sword will be awakened to always be in its glowing, powered-up state while useable.
Master Mode offers unique challenges to the player via stronger enemies and floating platforms. Enemies have gone up in difficulty by one rank. You might even meet higher ranking enemies you don’t see in normal mode!
Hero’s Path Mode tracks every step you take, so you can watch the last 200 hours of your journey unfold on the map, and use a slider to scroll through a timeline. This is a helpful feature to see where in the world you have yet to explore.
Travel Medallion will let you register the location you’re currently at as another fast travel point on the map.
Korok Mask – If Link wears it, it will shake when a hidden Korok is nearby.
Eight additional pieces of armor themed after previous Zelda game characters – Midna, Tingle and Phantom. Each piece is in a treasure chest located somewhere in Hyrule, which you must find.

DLC Pack 2 “The Champions’ Ballad” will include a new dungeon and an original story. More details for “The Champions’ Ballad” will be released before the pack releases in Holiday 2017.

‘Xenoblade Chronicles 2’ is Slated for Holiday 2017

Bilal Mian

June 13, 2017

The search for Elysium begins in Monolith Software’s Xenoblade Chronicles 2 this holiday season.

A brand new trailer for the sequel to the Wii’s 2010’s Xenoblade Chronicles was shown at Nintendo’s E3 Direct, giving viewers a closer look at the characters and story.

The story of Xenoblade Chronicles 2 follows Rex and his new friend, Pyra, a mysterious being known as a Blade who grants him tremendous power. Together they search for Pyra’s long lost home Elysium, the ultimate paradise for all of humanity.

Players will explore colossal beasts called Titans which serve as homes to different civilizations and form powerful bonds with Blades, unique beings who grant tremendous power to their users, called Drivers.

Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is slated to release on the Nintendo Switch during Holiday 2017.

‘Wynonna Earp’ Is Back With Kickass Premiere: “Steel Bars and Stone Walls”

Jen Stayrook

June 13, 2017

This week on #WynonnaEarp: Doc loses his hat, the black goo affects Waverly in strange ways, the team tries to rescue Dolls, Nedley is the MVP.

Here we go, y’all. Another summer, another season of Wynonna Earp. (Here’s hoping I’m saying that for a few more years to come.) I teased a bit about season two last week but now I get to talk about the real deal.

Season two’s premiere of Wynonna Earp starts off on the heels of last season’s finale with Waverly shooting at a demon straight off the set of Stranger Things. Wynonna shows up and shoots the flower-faced monster in its petals, but not before the creature eats Doc’s hat. Of all the losses we’ve suffered on the show (Bobo RIP), I mourn the loss of Doc’s hat the most. Dolls mentions it later but boy does Doc look naked without it. Tim Rozon has a lovely scalp and head of hair but he needs something there. Maybe later in the year Doc will have a Pretty Woman montage where he tries on different styles of headwear and then just opts for a manbun because that seems like the kind of thing that would irritate Wynonna.

I digress.

Purgatory is all a tizzy because Bobo went and poisoned the town’s alcohol supply and that goes against one of their major commandments as a people. Sheriff Nedley tells the FAKE NEWS media that Bobo was a jilted lover of Wynonna’s and he sought revenge on her for shunning him. The media, shockingly, still looks at Wynonna as the criminal and but thankfully, Nedley seems ready to cut anyone who comes after his girl with the good hair. The pair share a great moment where Nedley confesses his love for Uma Thurman in Batman (natch) and then once Wy realizes the Black Badge Division has infiltrated the PPD, they have this amazing exchange:

Wynonna: “They got all of Dolls’ shit?”
Nedley: “Well, I kept his mug.”

Nedley is the real MVP here, y’all.

Wynonna realizes she hasn’t properly stalked vetted her lover Dolls and she breaks into FOUR motel rooms to find out which one is his. Knowing Wynonna, I bet Nedley called ahead to the motel and warned the staff not to interfere with Wynonna’s dealings. Sure, the motel manager offered a key but Nedley shushed him and said, “No, no. Let her have her fun. Breaking and entering is how she grieves.”

Wynonna has several great one liners during this scene and seriously, Wynonna Earp and Co. has really upped the funny this year. Only fifteen minutes into the episode and already I’ve had to cut at least half a dozen quotes from my review.

Wynonna finds a hot girl in her underwear in Dolls’ room so naturally, by the laws of all things good and pure, they must wrestle. Poor Wynonna loses the fight but the hot girl, Eliza, turns out to be a pretty cool chick.

Wynonna: “Wynonna Earp, tho?”
Eliza: “He never mentioned you.”
Wynonna: “Well, uh, you have amazing taste in underwear.”

The Wayhaught To My Soul

I’m so glad Wynonna Earp started the Wayhaught super early in the season. There’s been talk of a rough patch for the lovers and since my Supercorp ship didn’t pan out, I’m going to need all the girl kisses on screen I can get. However, it’s not all “chicks dig scars” for Wayhaught. Wavylays tastes different and Nicole is suspicious as hell of her little cupcake. Unfortunately, the kissing stops because Doc needs sweet tea and he’s a gentleman who loudly announces his presence so as to give the ladies time to cover up.

wynonna earp 201 wayhaught — Does it hurt? Let me kiss it furiously to make it better.

I’ve always loved Doc. I know that Wynonna is firmly Team Dolls right now and I don’t blame her (Shamier Anderson is SO pretty), but I adore Doc’s relationships with all of the other characters. He’s protective of Waverly, respects Nicole, and even though he’s jealous of Dolls, he still tries to save him for Wynonna’s sake. And of course he’s desperately in love with our heroine.

Wayhaught gets a few more cute moments throughout the episode, like Nicole teasing Waves’ British accent (hilarious considering Dominique Provost-Chalkey is British). There’s a tense moment where it seems like the demon goo causes Waves to turn against Nicole, but like the gun shot at the end of season one, it’s a fake and Waverly only cuts off the head of the Stranger Things monster.

The real Wayhaught moment comes from Nicole as the group is planning their Dolls rescue attempt. Nicole wants to be called Agent since Dolls deputized her before he was rudely whisked away, but everyone, Waverly included brushes off this announcement. Only Doc has her back and concedes that she was indeed made an agent. Nicole is seeing a shift in both herself and in Waverly and it’s causing a small rift in the couple. Nicole is tired of being lied to, tired of having to sit on the sidelines because she’s not an Earp or some kind of fantastic science fiction anomaly. I imagine this feeling of uselessness (exacerbated by not being included in the BBD contract later) will further divide our favorite gay pairing. DUN DUN DUUUNNNNN.

The Female Rescue Squad

Dolls’ rescue squad is comprised of FOUR females and Doc Holliday. I want you to let that sink in. FOUR. KICKASS. WOMEN. LEADING. THE CHARGE. Thanks, Wynonna Earp.

Wynonna introduces Eliza to the group and several things immediately happen: Doc unsuccessfully tries to woo Eliza, fails, and then Wavylays is all, “Friend? OH, FRIEND” (reminding us that adorable Wavycakes is still in that body and she’s not all kinky demon.) Doc, looking from Wynonna to Eliza and assessing the situation, completely unfazed after being shutdown, is all, “Haha, boy, this is so awkward for all of us.” Eliza, however, proves that buys absolutely no shit from anyone in the room and she quickly lets Doc know that she’s no fool and she’s well aware that he’s THE Doc Holliday.

Doc: “Name’s John Henry, but you can call me Doc.” *SUBTLE WINK*
Eliza: “As in Doc Holliday?”
Doc: “Well now, that’d be ridiculous.” *SUBTLE WINK*

We learn through the several exchanges between Dolls and Lucado that Dolls still has pull within the BBD because he managed to call off Lucado’s air strike against Purgatory. We also learn that Lucado is a wee bit pissed at Dolls because he survived an attack where her husband died. You can tell that Dolls and Lucado were once close friends but that history is tainted by the death of her loved one and now, it seems, Lucado has lost all faith in her ex-friend and has taken up a new “scorched Earth” policy regarding anything that might cause the world harm.

Also on the syllabus for the hour was learning about Dolls’ werewolf-like condition. Eliza informs the intrepid heroes that BBD “made” them and it seems the drugs are just another way to keep their “creations” under their control. Wynonna is all, “Eh. I’ve been with worse.”

Eliza: “There’s a really good chance Dolls won’t be able to control it.”
Wynonna: “I will prepare for that and I will take care of it.”

Can we PLEASE talk about the way Doc looks at Wynonna during this moment? He KNOWS in that moment that he is most definitely second in her heart but instead of becoming jealous or angry, he resolves himself to help Wynonna carry her burdens. Wy has already had to put down her sister and Bobo in the past 24 hours; killing Dolls, too, might be the move that absolutely breaks her, so Doc, once Wavycakes gets the locks open, locks Wy and Eliza back in the stairwell so he can be the one to “take care of” Dolls should he need to Old Yeller the poor dude.

I love Dolls, too, but yeesh, Doc. You’re breaking my heart.

wynonna earp 301 doc — THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HER.

Waverly, in an attempt to be badass, accidently lets loose another Stranger Things demon, while also scaring the poop out of baby dude Jeremy. Wynonna shows up in time to rescue Wavycakes, thank goodness, but it doesn’t matter because the Earp and Co. Rescue Squad gets picked up and wrangled by the BBD anyway.

Thankfully, Doc manages to rescue Dolls in a total bro moment, giving him enough medicine to see him escape from the facility and live to see another day.

The BBD boss man shoots Eliza in the head to prove he’s not a pushover like Lucado who only threatens chaos and destruction. In the end, the entire crew, sans Nicole but including Lucado and Jeremy, is forced to sign a contract in blood whereby they are required to work together to rid Purgatory of its demons.

I’m sure that won’t go poorly for them at all.

Random Thoughts

I was bummed to lose Eliza so early because she and Wynonna had such great banter.

Wynonna: “I thought you were good in your underwear.”
Eliza: “You should see what I can do naked.”

Though I understand that it was necessary for the show to prove that the season, and the BBD, don’t mess around. Eliza wasn’t QUITE expendable, but she was a liability. There were things she probably knew about Dolls and the BBD that would keep him alive longer and right now, they want Dolls gone.

Wynonna is dealing with a ton of emotions by the end of the first episode. Once she’s hit the point where she feels she can bear it no more, she throws herself at Doc thinking that she’ll heal the way she’s used to, by drowning the emotions with sex, but Doc turns her down (he’s a gentleman and he loves her too much) and Wynonna is forced to get the emotions out the old-fashioned way. She feels responsible for every bad thing that’s happened, even if it wasn’t her fault or they were the only options available at the time. She’s hard on herself in a way that’s admirable and frustrating because I adore her and don’t want to see her suffer.

God, I love this show.

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays on Syfy at 10pm EST.

‘God of War’ Heads to PS4 in Early 2018

Bilal Mian

June 12, 2017

God of War will be making its console debut on the Playstation 4 in early 2018.

From creative director Cory Barlog and the Santa Monica Studio, comes a new beginning for Kratos. “Living as a man outside the shadow of the gods, Kratos must adapt to unfamiliar lands, unexpected threats, and a second chance at being a father. Together with his son Atreus, the pair will venture into the brutal Norse wilds and fight to fulfill a deeply personal quest.”

‘Destiny 2’ Receives Early Release Date, Beta and PC Release Confirmed

Bilal Mian

June 12, 2017

Destiny 2 is arriving two days earlier.

Originally scheduled to release on Friday, September 8, Bungie and Activision have announced that the release date for Destiny 2 has been bumped up to September 6.

The announcements didn’t stop there as Bungie announced the PC version’s launch date for October 24. The Destiny 2 console beta early access period for PlayStation 4 players who pre-ordered the game will begin July 18 at 10am PDT, while early access for Xbox One players who pre-ordered will begin on July 19 at 10am PDT.

Following the pre-order early access period, the Destiny 2 console beta will open up to all PlayStation 4 and Xbox One players on July 21 at 10am PDT and will conclude at 9pm PDT on July 23. The PC beta kick off is planned for late August. Further details on the PC beta will come at a later date.

“Everyone always says that they can’t wait for fans to get their hands on their game. But we really mean it. Destiny 2 looks so awesome, I’m thrilled to announce that we are moving the release date up to September 6,” said Eric Hirshberg, CEO of Activision. “We are also hard at work with our friends at Bungie optimizing Destiny 2 for the PC, which we will be releasing in all its glory on October 24. And tonight, we are taking a deeper look at Ghaul, our villain in Destiny 2, who the world is going to love to hate. It’s going to be a big week for Destiny fans.”

E3 2017: Sony is Remastering ‘Shadow of the Colossus’

Bilal Mian

June 12, 2017

Sony is remastering the PS2 classic Shadow of the Colossus for PS4 owners.

The Shadow of the Colossus remaster, being handled by Bluepoint Games, will be available in 2018. This is not the first time Sony has remastered Shadow of the Colossus. In 2011, Sony put out a released put out The Ico & Shadow of the Colossus Collection on the PlayStation 3.

‘Shadowhunters’ Review: Jace is a Herondale at Last

Nicole C

June 12, 2017

In this week’s episode of Shadowhunters, Jace finally finds out that he is a part of the Herondale family.

The Inquisitor, Imogen Herondale (Mimi Kuzyk), is at wits end with Valentine (Alan Van Sprang) refusing to reveal the location of the Mortal Cup, except of course he is really Magnus (Harry Shum Jr.). Meanwhile the real Valentine is in the warlock’s body. Azazel goes to Val and says that he will only reverse the spell once he gets the cup, although he didn’t even intend to put the Nephilim back in his original body. Alec (Matthew Daddario) comes over to the loft after calling Magnus, who was super dodgy and refused to help him track the greater demon down. Once he gets there Azazel himself attacks him, pissed at Valentine that he didn’t get rid of Alec. The young Shadowhunter though manages to vanquish the creature with his bow, to the shock of Val who is still stuck in a Downworlder’s body.

Frustrated, he calls Dot to teach him basic casting since he “forgot” how to do stuff after his encounter with the demon. He then puts his plan into action by luring Jace (Dominic Sherwood) to the loft and putting him in shackles. Back at the Institute, Imogen is about to kill Magnus with Alec’s help when the Valentine appears with Jace in chains. He then confirms him identity to the Inquisitor and reveals that if she wants to save her grandson then she needs to release Magnus so that they can switch bodies. He explains how Jace is the son of Stephen Herondale and his wife Celine, who supposedly died by being mauled by werewolves while pregnant. Except that Val took the baby because the Clave had taken so much from him. Imogen now is faced with a choice to either believe the man or not. As proof he shows her the Herondale ring that he took from Celine.

She releases Magnus with Alec, Clary (Katherine McNamara), and Sebastian (Will Tudor) as backup. Valentine puts up a ward and then creates a portal before the body switch. Clary in the meantime is still having a hard time creating new runes after her encounter with Azazel last episode. Sebastian then gets her to feel all the repressed emotions she’s been having and she’s finally able to create a rune that destroys the ward. They burst inside just as Magnus and Valentine return to their original forms and she tackles her father into the portal and back into his cell at the Institute.

Meanwhile, Imogen comes to meet Jace and gives him the Herondale ring. She tells him that he comes from a long line of powerful Shadowhunters and I nod vigorously. In The Mortal Instrument series, Jace doesn’t find out about his true parentage until City of Glass, but it’s exciting for him to find out at this time on the show because it opens a new chapter for the character. Up to this point, Imogen had treated Jace with disdain, believing him to be Valentine’s son. Now though, grandmother and grandson have a chance to connect. In their final scene together this episode, the Inquisitor says that Jace’s defiant streak is just like his father’s and that now he’s going to find out what it means to be a Herondale.

Jace is a descendant of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray (daughter of Elizabeth Grey, born Adele Starkweather), who had been half-Shadowhunter/half-Eidolon demon and a warlock. Will and Tessa were main characters in The Infernal Devices series along with Jem Carstairs (Will’s parabatai). While there have been some discussion online about Jace’s heritage coming to light too soon, I think it could be a good thing because we’ll see his character experience new and different things. It’s almost like an alternative timeline that opens up all sorts of possibilities.

Simon (Alberto Rosende) also finds out in this episode that Jace isn’t Clary’s brother and eventually confronts his ladylove about it. Clary though tells him that she didn’t tell him because she didn’t want to worry him but instead achieved just that. But they kiss and make up and all seems well. The daylighter also had some touching scenes with Isabelle (Emeraude Toubia) and yes he is a catch!

However, there is still very much a spark between Clace that was evident during their fighting session under the watchful eye of the Inquisitor. But there was also something there between Clary and Sebastian too. While book readers know who Sebastian really is, Will Tudor is doing such an amazing job that I’m finding myself rooting for him to have a different path from his book character. Undeniably there is chemistry between the two actors, especially in that intense scene where Sebastian was telling Clary to really feel all her emotions between her mom dying, not having a father who would ever love her, losing the person who she thought was her brother and feeling utterly alone. Obviously he was putting in some of his own feelings in there and it was awesome to watch.

So Clary now has three guys who are interested in her and boy oh boy I can’t wait to see how this all plays out (yes, I’m now slightly in denial about certain familial relationships that will come to light sooner or later).

The most heart wrenching scenes in this episode though were between Malec. Alan Van Sprang did a fantastic job playing Magnus trapped in Valentine’s body as well as Harry Shum Jr. channeling his inner Val. The final moment between Alec and the warlock after being tortured at the hands of the Inquisitor was so heart wrenching. I only wish those two got more screen time because they really needed to have a long discussion about what happened. Things are not looking for good for their relationship at the moment. Magnus must be remembering how brutal the Clave can be to Downworlders because the Nephilim aren’t all goodness and light. They can be prejudiced and cruel.

And if the promo to episode 13 is any indication, more trouble is brewing in the shadow world.

Catch Shadowhunters Mondays at 8 PM on Freeform.

For more on Shadowhunters click HERE.

‘Dark Matter’ Returns And Five Gets To Use The Big Gun

Jen Stayrook

June 12, 2017

This week on Dark Matter: the surviving crew members of the Raza deal with the aftermath of the bomb on Eos-7 and things get a little gay.

Dark Matter really does love to keep us hanging on the edge, doesn’t it? Season one ended with Six betraying the rest of the Raza crew and season two ended with Four betraying everyone in the galaxy, Nyx dying, and all of Eos-7 being blown to smithereens. Knowing that Dark Matter isn’t afraid to kill off its characters, the season three premiere “Being Better Is So Much Harder” was definitely a tense affair. Thankfully, we knew pretty early on that all of our remaining numbered crew members were safe.

Especially Five, because Five is the best and most important.

Two Dreams In Gay

After having words with Four last season, Two bears most of the guilt for the destruction on Eos-7 and the impending corporate war. Six drags her kicking and screaming back to the Marauder, where they are promptly stranded without engines and a failing life support. They manage to call for help to the Raza, but they’ve got their own corporate nonsense to deal with, so it’s up to Two to play savior and rely on her nanites to keep her alive while diverting all the remaining oxygen to save Six.

One of my favorite things about Dark Matter is all the great pairings the show does with each set of characters. I love every pair they manage to come up with and it always brings out the most exciting conflict. It would be easy to constantly pair up Two and Three to play up the romance or Five and Six to encourage the pseudo father-daughter relationship, but Dark Matter puts these characters first and as a fan, I appreciate that. (Also, Three and Five is the best pairing. Hands down.)

During the whole “lack-of-oxygen-we-might-die” scenario, Two sees a vision of Nyx, who then confirms that baby girl Nyx is, in fact, dead. AND EVERYONE MOURNS BECAUSE NYX WAS A GODDAMN TREASURE. Nyx tells Two: “Just because you failed, doesn’t mean it wasn’t right to try. The old Portia wouldn’t have. But you’re different. You’re a better person.” Maybe it would be easier for the Raza to be evil, but they never quite give in to the darkness (and I think it’s because they all love Five so much they want to be better for her). Nyx goes on and things take….a unique turn.

Two: “You’re not even real.”
Nyx: “And a part of you knows that what I’m saying is true. You’re not perfect but you’re the best shot our friends have at survival.”
Two: “So if I already know all this, why are you here?”
Nyx: “Why else? To say goodbye.”

Nyx and Two lean in for a kiss and while my rainbow heart screamed YES YES YES because I’ve always wanted Two to be bi and be romantically involved with Nyx–there was SO much chemistry between them–it doesn’t happen and we’re left teased by the what if of the moment. WHY it happened, I don’t know and it kind of felt like I was being toyed with the sake of queer-baiting, but I’ll let it slide because I think there were other, better, gay moments in the episode.

Three Flirts To Save A Life

Three, after getting his butt kicked, is rescued by Lt. Anders, Six’s BFF who turned in the Raza crew last year. After the way Anders talked about Six (Kal), I’m low-key convinced that Anders and Six were an item. Or at least that Anders loves Six and hasn’t told him. Or maybe I’m reaching because I have a tendency to do that with gay ships. Apparently.

Once they crash land on a nearby planet, Anders signals the Galactic Authority (gross) and then handcuffs Three (kinky) to keep him prisoner. The imprisonment doesn’t last long because a security drone attacks them and also because Three is an ingenious badass. (Seriously, I love that Dark Matter turns the stereotypes on their heads. Three isn’t just a big piece of muscle.) Three then rescues Anders from the drone by throwing his body on top of him and keeping completely still while making eye contact the entire time.

dark matter 301 three anders gay — Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay.

Anders gets all flustered, as anyone would be by such a pickup move, and then the pair, POWERED BY THEIR NEWFOUND LOVE, destroy the drone without a hitch. The GA shows up but Anders doesn’t have it in him to turn his new crush over to the bad guys, so he lets him go AND THEN hails the Raza telling them where they can find his new Beau. Come on, y’all. I know a romance when I see one.

Girl Power On The Raza

Commander Truffault has always been the best of the Corporate schmucks and I think that’s because she looks friggin’ killer in a suit. She rescues Five from Eos-7 because Five is the best and everyone loves her. Even though the Raza and the Mikkei Combine haven’t always seen eye-to-eye, Truffault willingly takes baby girl Five back to the Raza. Unfortunately, they’re immediately set up by Ferrous Corp who are pissed because the Raza blew up their Cheerios. Or because the Raza crew knows the truth about Ferrous Corp and their devious plots.

The Android, ever adorable and clever, manages to hold off Ferrous Corp long enough to keep the ship safe. Even after the Ferrous dudes make it onto the Raza, Five and Truffault set up the inside of the ship like some urban warfare is about to go down. Five grabs Three’s big gun and goes to work while Truffault double-wields two pistols and this female badassery is definitely doing things to me.

Android sends the Ferrous Corp shuttle back to its masters where the poor thing goes KABOOM and blows up all the attackers. They then rescue the Marauder and Three and then Android makes a vegetable casserole because she is DELIGHTFUL.

“The secret ingredient is basil. Then love. But mostly basil.”

dark matter 301 android — THE ADORABLE CUPCAKE HAS AN APRON. I’M DEAD.

The crew then has to decide the best course of action in stopping the upcoming corporate war. Truffault says Mikkei plans to play Switzerland for as long as possible, but Two has revenge on the brain. She wants to go after Ryo for what he did to their family and steal back the blink drive.

Cue ensuing smash and grab plan.

Random thoughts

Nyx: I sincerely hope you remain a part of Two’s dreams for at least a few more episodes. I miss you and I’m sorry you ever had feelings for Ryo.

Oh, and Ryo also released his childhood mentor from prison because he defended Ryo’s claim to the throne. Misaki looks all stabby, kind of like how she did with Nyx, and HOW Ryo doesn’t pick up on her mannerisms is beyond me, but I’ll allow it for now because Ryo isn’t exactly high on my list at the moment.

I’ve had issues with the female characterization on Dark Matter in the past, but for once, I’m actually glad I have to eat my words and admit that the last season and this premiere episode have been FANTASTIC for female fans. I especially loved the line from Two, in regards to Five:

“Don’t make her a damsel.”

But for real though, FIVE IS EVERYONE’S CINNAMON ROLL.

Dark Matter airs Fridays on Syfy at 9pm EST.

‘Mystery Science Theater 3000’ review: ‘The Loves of Hercules’

Matt Perri

June 12, 2017

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000
Season 11, Episode 8
“The Loves of Hercules”
Available on Netflix
GRADE: D+

Like your Hercules films with sumptuous, lavish visuals? Yes? How ’bout if they added in some Jayne Mansfield? All right…we’re doing good so far! What if we threw in Jayne Mansfield’s dopey then-husband Mickey Hargitay as Hercules? What? He doesn’t need to really act, he just needs to look the part! All right…you’re still with me…what if there was a monster battle with a giant Hydra that couldn’t really do anything but move its heads around? No? Well, what if Sasquatch was in this movie for no reason? Wait…where are you going?

“The Loves of Hercules” comes to us in the fine tradition of other Hercules films which have crossed MST3K’s radar like Hercules Against the Moon Men, Hercules Unchained, and Hercules and the Captive Women. Those episodes weren’t exactly “classics” but, hey, we’re in a new era. Even if the Hercules experiments aren’t all that fun, it still has the attraction of being a European film and MST3K has been nails with stuff like The Magic Sword, The Magic Voyage of Sinbad and The Day the Earth Froze. Unfortunately, The Loves of Hercules is boring as all hell. And, yes, I’m talking both the film and the riffing. Aside from a few gems (listed below), the writers seem to have a massive off-day here with nearly nothing landing for a good belly laugh. Making fun of Hargitay’s accent can only get you so much mileage and attempting to take swipes at character names is really only funny once. The problem, I think, is that there’s a lot of downtime in the film. Between the “action” sequences is a LOT of talking and there isn’t much Jonah and the Bots can do with that.

This also means that the sketches suffer: Jonah and the Bots binge “Wings” which is funny because it’s 20-something years old and you can’t really “binge” it unless it’s on TV; Jonah and the Bots invent a Turkey Dunk Tank which Jonah really doesn’t want to use — until the Bots start claiming that the turkey’s been talking smack behind Jonah’s back (this is the best of the episode) while Moon 13 invents a Mexican Jumping Bean Bag Chair — which doesn’t work because Frank inadvertently killed the moth larvae that makes a bean “jump”; Jonah is put through the “axe-throwing trial” from the film, only to have random stuff tossed at him instead (extremely lazy and unfunny); Crow and Tom have a heated political discussion about Hydra conservation as Jonah stirs the pot (cute but lacks a punchline and just goes and goes until we get Movie Sign); a new Bot visits the SOL during the Amazon harm sketch — only to have the Bots kill it because “we really don’t need a new little kid on the show” (funny meta but mean-spirited; the new robot could have been a running joke on the episode and it just wasn’t). So many missed opportunities.

The episode seems unfortunately lazy with the cast and crew hoping that the film makes up for the by-the-numbers writing. One thing I’ve been seeing that really annoys me in general is this weird decision to attach a mannequin’s body to Gypsy’s head during some sketches so it makes her look like she’s got a full human body. Never has the decision to make Gypsy’s actual tube body run around in the air ducts looked so ill-advised. Not only is it unfunny but it’s borderline creepy and looks really odd and off-putting. There isn’t much from Moon 13 either. Where’s Cynthia? Wasn’t she supposed to be a supporting character on this show? We haven’t really seen her since Pearl dropped her off and there hasn’t been much mention of her anywhere.

“The Loves of Hercules” is, easily, the worst Mystery Science Theater 3000 has had to offer its audience since its return. It makes other lower-tier episodes like Avalanche look genius in comparison. I really love this show to death but, contrary to Servo and Crow’s objections, it feels like it needs something to spice things up. After eight shows, it’s hard not to notice that things are becoming a bit formulaic. Instead of new, recurring characters, we’re getting celebrity cameos. It’s all well and good to see celebs and long-time fans of the show like Jerry Seinfeld and Neil Patrick Harris make their mark on this show, it also feels undeniably cheap at times. And, so, “The Loves of Hercules” joins the pack of MST3K Hercules experiments that didn’t quite turn out the way we thought it would. Hopefully, we get a nice recovery in the next episode because we’re do a “great” one.

And, of course, here’s this week’s gems…

(HERCULES walks into the middle of the city which is so large, it makes HERCULES look tiny.)
CROW: “Welcome to giant bowling with Andre the Midget!”

(ALEIA comforts DEIANIRA and begs her not to go through with trials that may kill her.)
DEIANIRA: Aleia, come. You must trust the Gods. I want to prove that my father’s guilt has been expiated.
CROW: “Expiated”?! THESAURUS: THE MOVIE!!!

(DEIANIRA brings HERCULES to a beautiful waterfall.)
DEIANIRA: Look!
JONAH: “It’s like a Thomas Kinkade painting — HORRIBLE.”

(DEIANIRA introduces her husband to HERCULES.)
ACHILLES: I am Achilles.
JONAH (as ACHILLES): “Oculo Rift.”
ACHILLES: Let me thank you for having saved the life of my wife-to-be.
(HERCULES stands there with a dumb look on his face, his jaw dropped in confusion.)
SERVO: Buffering…
JONAH: Processing…
CROW: Compiling…
HERCULES: What…?!
JONAH: Download complete.
(HERCULES again stands there, slack-jawed.)
SERVO: Buffering…
JONAH: Processing…
CROW: Compiling…
HERCULES: But, then, you…
JONAH: Download complete.

HERCULES: The murderer of Achilles must have used my dagger for his plan!
DEIANIRA: But we were only three…I, Achilles, and Philoctetes.
HERCULES: Yes…Philoctetes.
(HERCULES turns and looks at a soldier who averts eye contact.)
SERVO (as soldier): “I am not Philoctetes…”
(The camera cuts to Licos who looks suspiciously at HERCULES.)
JONAH (as LICOS): “I know I’M not Philoctetes…”
(HERCULES stands there, looking confused.)
CROW (as HERCULES): “Then I must be Philoctet–.”
HERCULES: But WHERE is Philoctetes?
DEIANIRA (rises from her throne): Go and find Philoctetes and bring him here immediately!
JONAH AND THE BOTS (as people in room): “PHILOCTETES!!!”
LICOS (steps forward): Philoctetes is not here. I must take the blame for having sent him away.
HERCULES (to LICOS): Where did he go?
CROW (as LICOS): “Phila-TEL-phia!”
LICOS: Towards the gate to the Underworld. With a good horse, it should be easy to overtake him.
HERCULES (to LICOS): I will find him!
(HERCULES takes a few steps, then stops and looks at LICOS.)
JONAH (as HERCULES): “Wait…WHO am I going to find again…?”

(A horse-drawn carriage races through a beautiful tree-lined meadow.)
JONAH: “The Virginia Tourism Board welcomes you. We’ll do ANYTHING to get you here. Seriously. Anything. PLEASE come.”

(HERCULES just kinda lightly slaps one of the Hydra heads with his sword.)
CROW (as film director): “Okay, Mickey, let’s try this again. As you know, we’ve only got one Hydra, so please don’t damage it. Remember, we’re doing pick-up shots with the extra tomorrow. If you must stab it, only use the marked plunge points, and the rest of the time, only light taps, please, with the flat side of the sword like we discussed. Thank you!”
(HERCULES keeps lightly tapping the dragon.)
JONAH: I feel like I’m watching teenage vandals trying to destroy the JURASSIC PARK ride at Universal Studios.

(AMAZON WOMEN ride up on horses.)
JONAH: Fun fact – this was actually Lena Dunham’s original pitch for GIRLS.

(A SASQUATCH, for some reason, tries to attack DEIANIRA.)
JONAH: I must have fallen asleep in Greek Mythology the day they talked about Sasquatch.

‘The Evil Within 2’ Spooks its Way to Release on October’s Friday the 13th

Bilal Mian

June 12, 2017

Bethesda has announced The Evil Within 2 at their E3 2017 press conference with a release date on the spookiest date of them all – Friday the 13th, October 2017.

You are Detective Sebastian Castellanos and at your lowest point. But when given a chance to save your daughter, you must enter a world filled with nightmares and discover the dark origins of a once-idyllic town to bring her back. Horrifying threats emerge from every corner as the world twists and warps around you. Will you face adversity head on with weapons and traps, or sneak through the shadows to survive? This is your one chance at redemption, and the only way out is in.

The Evil Within 2 releases worldwide Friday the 13th, October 2017 on PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC.

E3 2017: Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus Trailer

Bilal Mian

June 12, 2017

Bethesda has announced Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus at their E3 press conference with a whopping eight-and-a-half minute trailer. Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus will release on October 27, 2017 for Xbox One, PlayStation 4, and PC.

Wolfenstein II sends players to Nazi-controlled America on a mission to recruit the boldest resistance leaders left. Fight the Nazis in iconic locations such as small-town Roswell, New Mexico, the flooded streets of New Orleans, and a post-nuclear Manhattan. Equip an arsenal of badass guns, and unleash new abilities to blast your way through legions of advanced Nazi soldiers, cyborgs, and über soldiers in this definitive first-person shooter.

America, 1961. Your assassination of Nazi General Deathshead was a short-lived victory. Despite the setback, the Nazis maintain their stranglehold on the world. You are BJ Blazkowicz, aka “Terror-Billy,” member of the Resistance, scourge of the Nazi empire, and humanity’s last hope for liberty. Only you have the guts, guns, and gumption to return stateside, kill every Nazi in sight, and spark the second American Revolution.

Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch Supports Amiibos and Motion Controls

Bilal Mian

June 12, 2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7980ZPK8Dg&sns=em

The first details for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch have arrived during Bethesda’s E3 press conference and they’re crazier than you could have expected.

Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch will include all-new gameplay with motion controls for combat and lockpicking. There will also be outfits and gear from The Legend of Zelda franchise allowing players to take down enemies with the Master Sword, protect themselves with the Hylian Shield or look heroic in the Champion’s Tunic. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch also includes all official add-ons: Dawnguard, Hearthfire and Dragonborn. Plus tap other compatible

Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch will include all official add-ons: Dawnguard, Hearthfire and Dragonborn. Plus tap other compatible amiibo to gain additional loot including those from The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild series, 30th Anniversary – The Legend of Zelda series, Super Smash Bros. series, and The Legend of Zelda series.

No official release date has been announced for The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the Nintendo Switch.

‘Life is Strange: Before the Storm’ Takes Place 3 Years Before The Events of the Original

Bilal Mian

June 11, 2017

The first trailer for Life is Strange: Before the Storm has been unveiled during Microsoft’s E3 2017 press conference.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm takes place three years before the events of the original game in Arcadia Bay. Before the Storm will be told over three episodes with the first one releasing on August 31 on the Xbox One, PS4, and PC.

Developers DONTNOD will not be developing the prequel. Instead Life is Strange: Before the Storm will be developed by Denver-based studio, Deck Nine Games.

Players will take on the role of 16 year-old Chloe Price, instead of Max, the original game’s protagonist, who forms an unlikely friendship with Rachel Amber; a beautiful and popular girl destined for success. When Rachel’s world is turned upside down by a family secret, it takes this new-found alliance to give each other the strength to overcome their demons.

Life is Strange: Before the Storm is a key release for Square Enix this year and is being created as a direct response to fans asking to return to Arcadia Bay so they can revisit the characters they fell in love with,” said Lee Singleton, Head of Studio at Square Enix London Studios. “Many people can identify a particular person who significantly influenced their life; the person that ultimately shaped who they became.Life is Strange: Before the Storm is about this exact moment.”

“The original LIFE IS STRANGE brought a new level of depth and real-world emotion to the narrative adventure game genre and holds a strong place in many people’s hearts, including our own,” said Jeff Litchford, Vice President at Deck Nine Games. “It’s an absolute privilege to work on the next game in the series and it’s our chance to do justice to the series and prove the quality of our unique StoryForge toolset from our very talented team.”

Life is Strange: Before the Storm Episode 1 releases on August 31, 2017

E3 2017: ‘Cuphead’ Finally Gets a Release Date

Bilal Mian

June 11, 2017

Cuphead is coming out on September 29, 2017.

The much-delayed title, which takes time to poke fun of the delays in its trailer, is inspired by cartoons of the 1930s. The classic run-and-gun action game will be heavily focused on boss battles. The visuals and audio are also painstakingly created with the same techniques of the era, i.e. traditional hand-drawn cel animation, watercolor backgrounds, and original jazz recordings.

Cuphead is an Xbox One and Windows 10 Exclusive.

‘Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds’ is Headed to the Xbox One Later This Year

Bilal Mian

June 11, 2017

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0Tnp-3W3z4

Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds is headed to the Xbox One later this year.

Announced on stage at Microsoft’s E3 Press Conference, Playerunknown’s Battlegrounds will launch exclusively on console via Xbox One’s Game Preview program in late 2017, and in 2018 as a Xbox One X enhanced title.

Battlegrounds has sold more than 3 million copies on PC, is a top three game on Steam with over 200,000 concurrent users, and has been one of the most played games since its early access started.

Battlegrounds is a last-man-standing shooter where players are dropped onto a realistic 8 x 8 kilometer island. Starting with nothing but your two fists and a willingness to stay alive, players must fight to locate weapons, vehicles, and supplies as they strive to be the last-remaining survivor.

E3 2017: Ori and the Will of the Wisps Trailer

Bilal Mian

June 11, 2017

Are you ready for more Ori?

Ori and the Will of the Wisps, the sequel to Ori and the Blind Forest, has been announced today on stage at Microsoft’s E3 Press Conference.

Summary:

Xbox One and Windows 10 exclusive. From the creators of the multi-award winning “Ori and the Blind Forest” comes the highly anticipated sequel: “Ori and the Will of the Wisps.” Embark on an all new adventure to discover the mysteries beyond the forest of Nibel, uncover the hidden truths of those lost, and unravel Ori’s true destiny.

Microsoft Announces the Xbox One X, Launches November 7 for $499

Bilal Mian

June 11, 2017

The Xbox One X is the new console coming from Microsoft.

Announced on stage at Microsoft’s E3 2017 press conference, the Xbox Scorpio will release on November 7, 2017 and cost $499.99.

Microsoft has previously stated that Project Scorpio will not release with a Kinect port, but will be supported through a USB adapter like the one used for the Xbox One S.

Microsoft first announced Project Scorpio last year at E3 2016 with the promise to build the most powerful console to date with a promise of six teraflops of graphical performance, a better CPU, and more memory that would push console gaming into the 4K era.

E3 2017: Kingdom Hearts III Trailer Looks Absolutely INSANE

Bilal Mian

June 11, 2017

There is a new Kingdom Hearts III trailer and it looks absolutely INSANE.

The trailer debuted in Los Angeles during a Kingdom Hearts Orchestra concert Saturday night with Square Enix quickly releasing a subtitled version soon after.

The new trailer shows off never before seen locations for Kingdom Hearts III, the magic and combat systems, and brand new powers for Sora and crew. One addition we noticed was companion Disney heroes no longer replacing Donald or Goofy as part of your party.

Old villains show up again with Maleficient and Pete approaching Hades about the existence of a black box. Sora, Donald, and Goofy also confront Xemnas and Ansem on how to bring Roxas back to which Xemnas asks, “Sora, are you finally going to call upon the darkness?”

An upcoming trailer will debut next month at Disney’s D23 Expo on July 15, promising a brand new world for Kingdom Hearts III.

E3 2017: Need for Speed Payback – Official Gameplay Trailer

Bilal Mian

June 10, 2017

Electronic Arts have released gameplay footage of their upcoming release of Need for Speed Payback during EA Play at E3 2017 this weekend.

The gameplay trailer highlights a short segment named “Highway Heist” where the game’s three main characters aim to pull off a heist by stealing a car from a moving truck.

Need for Speed Payback releases on November 10, 2017 on PlayStation 4, Windows PC and Xbox One.

E3 2017: ‘Star Wars Battlefront II’ Official Gameplay Trailer

Bilal Mian

June 10, 2017

Star Wars Battlefront II is looking much, much better than the original with the release of the official gameplay trailer.

Battlefront II brings in franchise favorites from throughout the cinematic run of the Star Wars movies. Fans can expect to see Rey and Kylo Ren fighting alongside Darth Maul, Yoda, and many classic Star War figures later this year.

New to the sequel will be the addition of a brand new story that will take place between the events of Return of the Jedi and The Force Awakens.

EA is promising free updates this time around for Star Wars Battlefront II, ditching the season pass model seen in the most recent Battlefront release. The first season of downloadable content will include Finn and Captain Phasma. New content will include locations, characters, vehicles, modes, weapons, star cards, and more.

Star Wars Battlefront II will be available on PlayStation 4, Xbox One, and PC

Release Date: November 17, 2017

EA Reveals Full Details for FIFA 18 on the Nintendo Switch

Bilal Mian

June 10, 2017

EA has revealed the first details for the Nintendo Switch build of EA Sports FIFA 18.

The Nintendo Switch build of FIFA 18 will include FIFA Ultimate Team, Career Mode, Kick Off and Local Seasons. Ultimate Team fans will include features like Squad Building Challenges, Online and Offline Seasons, Tournaments, and Draft. Players will enjoy live campaigns connected to the narrative of the football season, the Transfer Market, and more Ultimate Team features that will be revealed at a later date.

“FIFA 18 on Nintendo Switch is the best FIFA you can take with you anywhere, play anytime and with anyone,” said Producer, Andrei Lăzărescu. “We’re delivering the immersive and authentic experience that fans expect from FIFA, while leveraging innovative ways to play both at home and on the go with Nintendo Switch.”

FIFA 18 will take advantage of the Switch’s portability, allowing players to enjoy the game in docked, handheld or tabletop mode, and utilizing local multiplayer connection for Local Seasons.

Multiple control schemes will also be featured. Switch owners can play in handheld mode, using dual Joy-Con, single Joy-Con or a Pro Controller.

EA Sports FIFA 18 will output 1080p resolution when docked and 720p in handheld mode.

In addition to unique control and gameplay features, as well as a robust FIFA Ultimate Team, players can participate in Local Seasons across two Switch consoles, as well as Kick-Off mode, Career, Online Seasons, Tournaments, Women’s International Cup and Skill Games.

FIFA 18 is developed by EA Vancouver and EA Romania and will be available worldwide on September 29 for Nintendo Switch.

E3 2017: ‘Anthem’ is Bioware’s New Game

Bilal Mian

June 10, 2017

Anthem is the newest game from Bioware. Announced at E3 2017 during the EA Play press conference, the first footage was shown with a CG teaser trailer.

The first gameplay footage will be shown on Sunday, June 11, 2017 during the Microsoft E3 2017 press conference.

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