‘Killjoys’ Review: Beware Mines, Insects, and Mummified Monks

July 15, 2016

Killjoys
Season 2, Episode 3: “Shaft”
Airdate: July 15, 2016

In this week’s episode of Killjoys the team heads into the Northern Badlands under Turin’s behest to find out what Khlyen was trying to hide.

The mystery of level 6, Khlyen, the scarbacks, and Arkyn deepen as Team Awesome Force goes in search of another RAC team that went missing after sending an evacuation request that had been cancelled by Khlyen. The original warrant was to retrieve a monk, go figure. When they first arrive in the area, the other group’s abandoned ship is discovered with strange moss covering the front entrance.

Soon they run into Tanya, one of the three killjoys who first came to this area to answer a level 2 warrant (monk retrieval). Dutch earns the other woman’s trust by confirming that they know her team sent the evac call a week ago but were betrayed and abandoned by the people they trusted. Tanya urgently explains that they have to help find her sister Dina who is down in the mines. This whole time, the trio was unaware of mines within vicinity because Lucy didn’t pick anything up in her scan.

But true enough the woman leads them down a deep shaft with Alvis joining the group since he used to be a miner himself and could navigate the tunnels with more ease. Once they are all inside, Tanya adds that her husband is also still around, but that something happened to him on their first night and he’s been trying to kill her and Dina ever since.

The mine itself is like a labyrinth with crystals and moss attached to the walls. Tanya acts increasingly paranoid, as she seems to keep seeing her husband appear out of thin air. Eventually Dutch makes the call that she’s a liability and Johnny should take her back to the ship. Before they can leave though, the other woman runs after her hubby again causing a tunnel collapse trapping her, Alvis, D’Av and the former assassin down there. Johnny goes back to Lucy to gather supplies to break through the stone while the rest try to track Tanya down.

Unfortunately the killjoy falls down a pit and gets attacked by centipedes using moss as camouflage. D’Av, Dutch, and Alvis are all super grossed out and want to get the hell out of dodge. When they go back the way they came though, the massive insects have covered their original path out (with Johnny on the other side working on making a big hole). They head back further in to look for another exit.

D’Av and Alvis explore two separate tunnels with Dutch back at the crossing on guard. Things get real interesting at this point. Johnny begins to dissect the centipede and discovers that when you slice it in half, both parts are still alive and wriggling. Johnny suggests why not step on it and when he does, he discovers that their blood is green. Sound familiar? He thinks so as well and believes this could be the stuff that they were pumping into him at Red 17. These little buggers were super resilient. D’Av surmises that this could be the reason why Khlyen cancelled the evac order because he didn’t want anyone to find this place. It could also be what brought the monks here since they go way back with Khlyen and the 6’s.

Meanwhile Alvis has been reading symbols all around the tunnels left by other scarbacks (they had even come across a tree shrine earlier). He takes off the glasses that allowed the team to see what he saw and follows the writings to the body of a mummified monk. There was a message that was left there with the body and it’s all very mysterious.

Back at the crossroads, Dutch suddenly sees Khlyen and she tells the team that she’s going after him. She falls down a hole to where the scarbacks shrine is and Khlyen is there too, asking her what she’s doing here. She confronts him and questions back whether he wanted to make her into an obedient mind drone when he laughs that she doesn’t seem to remember that it’s already happened. Then he slashes her gut and green liquid begins to pour out.

D’Av, Alvis, and Johnny find Dutch but it turns out that she’s been hallucinating this whole time. Khlyen wasn’t actually there and she had stabbed herself. The bug had bitten her and caused her to go paranoid and bring out her fears. The same thing had happened to Tanya and her husband and sister had already been long dead. It’s Alvis though who gets through to Dutch and they thankfully all get out of there alive all thanks to D’Av. The bugs seems to be repelled by him for some unknown reason and it must have something to do with how he was able to wake himself up from level 6 treatment two episodes ago. He’s the anti-bug whisperer.

Back on the ship, Johnny treat’s Dutch’s stomach wound and thankfully the cut isn’t deep but she’d like to get examined by a real doctor nonetheless and suggests its time to get Pawter out of Spring Hill.

Speaking of the good doctor, she’s been very busy gathering intel within the Company biodome. She discovers that they plan on creating containment walls around every single town in Westerly for some nefarious reason yet to be known. Pawter though has a few obstacles in her way, first her father (Dr. Adler from 12 Monkeys!) claims that her mother can’t do anything really about the Old Town situation at the moment and that she’s better off where she is. Secondly Jelco has put a nasty ankle bracelet on her that will blow up if she strays tries to leave the compound.

The Company officer though we discover has a heart condition and wants Pawter to perform the monthly operation of draining the liquid from around his heart (apparently because of family inbreeding he’s developed this condition). The good doctor uses this situation to her advantage and puts him under a very heavy sedative and then accidentally pierces an artery while performing surgery. She then also drugs Jelco’s bodyguard. She uses his blood to access his drawer and finds a jump drive to download the information she needs.

When he comes out of sedation, he thinks all is fine and dandy and runs into Pawter and she is preparing to leave his domain. We hear the ankle bracelet going off but it’s no longer on the doctor because she’s attached it to Jelco’s heart. He now can’t leave Spring Hill of else it will explode. Brilliantly done. Unfortunately an unseen assailant clubs her outside before Johnny and the rest of the team can arrive to pick her up.

Back on the ship, Alvis goes into Dutch’s room and confesses that he found the mummified monk inside the mine and wonders if he was brought down there for a reason. He shows her the message with the body and explains that it had been made from the dead man’s own skin. Avlis further explains that the first part of the message is from an old scarback prayers that says 12 went to fight the devil in Arkyn and in the flesh trip it finishes with, “one came back.” He thinks this monk had survived the fight and plans to jump ship at Leith to go to a scarback monastery where some of their old scriptures live. Just as the two are about to share an intimate kiss, Lucy interrupts and tells Dutch that she’s finished analyzing the microwave radiation burst from Arkyn.

Next she pays Turin a visit and tells him that he didn’t tell them about the massive data transmission that came from Arkyn before the base was bombed and where it went. He claims that the piece he got was encrypted and unbreakable so there was no point and he didn’t know where that transmission was sent too. Dutch tells him to find out where it went and get her a warrant there because she needs to know what’s in that file. Turin gets snippy and she throws her dagger very narrowly missing his face. She’s fully accepted that she’s a weapon and will use those skills to get what she needs. Dutch explains to the senior agent that she’s tired of people dictating what she can and cannot do. That stops now.

This week’s episode of Killjoys led us deeper into the mystery surrounding level 6 and Arkyn, but we also saw an interesting rivalry between D’Av and Alvis. It was mostly the elder Jaqobis brother feeling threatened by the scarback’s relationship with Dutch since they seem to go way back. With the almost kiss between them, D’Avin’s got some competition for the former assassin’s attention.

Dutch and Alvis though seem to genuinely identify with the other at the moment, both of them not really knowing what to believe in. He even considers abandoning the scarbacks since he thinks faith almost had him kill all those people at Spring Hill. Dutch tells him that it was hate that made him almost do it. She even jokingly offers to hirer him and Alvis said he was considering joining their ranks after what he had gone through at Old Town. However finding the dead monk in the mine seems to have given him new purpose in helping Dutch solve the connection between the scarbacks, level 6, and Arkyn.

Lastly something is definitely brewing between Pawter and Johnny. Last season the doctor was involved with big brother but since she was rejected it’s intriguing that little brother is now paying so much attention. I look forward to seeing how this develops.

Killjoys continues to lure audiences in with rich narratives, action-packed sequences, and strong world building. We’ve seen new places, met new people, and discovered a new thing or two about our favorite characters.

Killjoys airs Fridays on Syfy at 9/8 central.

Images courtesy of Syfy.

‘Ghostbusters’ Review: Haters to the left

Jen Stayrook

July 15, 2016

Ghostbusters
Directed by: Paul Feig
Written by: Katie Dippold, Paul Feig
Starring: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones, Chris Hemsworth

There’s a metric fuck ton of vitriol surrounding the Ghostbusters reboot right now and for the life of me, I can’t fathom why. Because of the discrepancy between bad trailers and good reviews, the babies of the internet are shitting their pants. Well, go ahead and get angrier, internet, because this is a happy review, in which I insult very few people because I’m in a good mood. I’m a fan of the original Ghostbusters and you know what? I loved the reboot. Sure, it had it’s problems but as far as entertaining summer movies go, it’s pretty damn good. Paul Feig’s Ghostbusters is like being attacked by a pack of puppies. Occasionally you get peed on or licked on the inside of your mouth, but they’re still puppies. Adorable, slime-covered puppies.

Starring Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, and Kate McKinnon, Ghostbusters follows three scientists and one science fan as they, well, try to put an end to paranormal activity in New York City. Kristen Wiig plays Erin Gilbert, an uptight professor at Columbia University who wants nothing more than to be normal and go unnoticed. Being friends with McCarthy’s Abby doesn’t afford her such luxuries, however, as the pair are soon whisked into a world of ghosts and slime, and it’s anything but normal.

The first 20 minutes or so of the film are slow. Our introduction to the paranormal problem is mediocre at best, but once Wiig and McCarthy are on screen together, it doesn’t matter. Theirs is a chemistry and a relationship worth rooting for. Sure, I could have done with more moments of them alone, delving deeper into their tumultuous history, but the movie moves quickly as it is and covers a lot of ground in its two-hour runtime. As for the other characters, Chris Hemsworth is perfect as the gorgeous and clueless receptionist and Kate McKinnon as the eccentric Holtzmann was definitely sending me some sexual signals throughout the film. (Kate, call me.) Leslie Jones gets the worst dialogue of the bunch, even at one point shouting the cringe-worthy, “No! I’m a Ghostbuster!” Despite being criminally underutilized, Jones still makes good use of what she’s given and comes out as one of the more memorable characters of the group.

Let’s be real here, Ghostbusters doesn’t exactly tread new territory, sticking pretty close to the familiar beats of the original. In fact, I’d argue the reboot stuck too closely to the original and relied heavily on callbacks and cameos for humor and nostalgia’s sake when they should have been forming their own moments. When Ghostbusters relies on its own brand of humor–for instance, reading internet comments or making use of McCarthy and Wiig’s slapstick comedy–is when it really shines. At one moment, during the climactic battle of the film, there’s a slowed down montage of the heroes taking down ghosts, some in comical ways, some bad ass. As the battle picks up steam, so does the music, and note by note it morphs into the iconic theme. As a fan, that is a nod I can appreciate.

One of the best parts of the film was McCarthy’s role as the leader of the group. Oftentimes in ensemble cast movies, for both men and women, the leader is the pretty, charismatic one, while the chubby, intelligent one is relegated to the sidekick role. It would have been very easy, almost expected, for Ghostbusters to use McCarthy as the lovable but clumsy best friend to Wiig, but they didn’t. McCarthy’s Abby is the reason for the Ghostbusters, she spurns them forward and drags them kicking and screaming to the finish line. She’s a born leader, able to see others for who they are, beyond the labels, beyond the pretty faces, beyond the oddball exteriors. In short: I love her almost as much as love Holtzmann.

And on that note, let’s get into the nitty gritty of having four female leads in one movie. At no point did Ghostbusters feel like a “girl movie”. In fact, the characters, both main or otherwise, hardly make reference to anyone’s gender. There’s no comment from a minor character about how they’re female scientists or even a surprised reference about how good it is for women to have female professors in science fields. For all the scathing comments about how Ghostbusters was pushing an agenda, there was a surprising lack of an agenda. It was awesome just to have four kick ass and funny leads in a movie who also just happen to have vaginas.

If you go into a movie like Ghostbusters and try to take it seriously, you’re going to have a bad time, because this movie doesn’t even know how to be remotely chill. The film knocks out clever one-liners like an episode of Gilmore Girls, fast-paced and witty, taking no prisoners in its humor. It’s loud, it’s crass, it takes plot and stuffs it in a garbage can behind the chinese restaurant and then poops on it. If you’re looking for some explanation as to how the science works, how Holtzmann manages to make so many weapons so quickly, or any reasonable theory as to what happened to Bill Murray, you won’t get it. Instead, what you will get is some pretty awesome action sequences, killer gadgets, and campy humor that has no problem poking fun at its detractors.

By and large the worst part of the film is its villain. So much work was put into making our heroes likable that when it came to the villain, Ghostbusters phoned it in and decided a white dude with control issues and a bad haircut was the best they had in them. Too much henchman, not enough true villain in him. Such a waste. And goodness, he’s the caricature of a “bad” villain. Not only does he monologue, talk to himself, and keep a diary with his plans for world domination, but he was bullied as a child and hates people. You know who else was bullied as a child and hates people? Magneto. But you don’t see him pulling that generic bullshit. In fact, the villain (whose name is Rowan and makes me roll my eyes) is the only one who makes reference to gender in a scene where he tells the heroes they “shoot like girls.” (Oh, no!) I can only imagine that he was created an amalgam of internet commenters as a way to further stick it to haters.

All in all, Ghostbusters isn’t going to win awards for its reboot, but it definitely doesn’t deserve the hate or the unjustified 4/10 rating currently sitting on IMDB. Kate McKinnon alone earns the film at least a 6.5/10. Add in the others and you’ve got an entertaining two hours of movie. In a summer of bad blockbusters, Ghostbusters is solid fun, full of action and humor. It’s funny. I mean, really funny. If you’re a fan of Paul Feig’s movies, SNL, or even just like action and pulpy comedy, give Ghostbusters a shot. It won’t disappoint. Haters to the left.

‘Dead of Summer’: “Mixtape” Review

Alyssa Berkowitz

July 14, 2016

Dead of Summer
Season 1, Episode 3: “Mixtape”
Tuesday, July 12, 2016

This week, Dead of Summer showed glimmers of hope in “Mixtape”. I think the main problem with this show is the disconnect between the characters stories and the mystery of the camp. Having said that, I have a few suggestions for how to make this show better:

Stop trying to give a plot line to every single character every episode. There is just too much going on each week and I am losing focus.
Cut back as much as they can on the mystery of Camp Stillwater, or at least ease into it without shoving it down my throat. I would suggest to cut it out completely, but I don’t think it is possible because well, it is kind of what the show is about.
Drew needs to have more than 1 line of dialogue and be in 1 scene each episode.
Alex needs to never speak again

It is movie night at Camp Stillwater, which means half the staff can leave for a night off while the remaining four counselors watch the entire camp. Joel has been put in charge of deciding who stays and who goes. As he approaches the crew with the sacred “Night Off” list, Jessie shouts out “Oh look here comes Spielberg” to which Joel takes great offense. If I were Joel I would take offense too because when I think of teenagers and Steven Spielberg together I think of Dawson Leary. And even though Dawson Leary doesn’t exist yet in 1989 NOBODY wants to be compared to Dawson Leary. Drew, Joel, Jessie and Blair are charged with staying at camp to take care of those snotty campers while Amy, Alex, and Cricket are given the night off.

Jessie isn’t thrilled that Amy will be spending alone time with Garrett on her night off, so Jessie approaches Cricket with a mutually beneficial proposal. All Cricket has to do is tell Deb that Jessie’s grandmother died, and Deb will make Amy switch her night off with Jessie. With Amy safely at camp, Jessie can have Garrett all to herself and Cricket is free to throw herself at Alex.

I do understand Jessie wanting Garrett. He was her first kiss and crush. He was the boy who saw her as an ugly duckling before becoming a swan. I cannot though, for the life of me, understand how Cricket finds Alex attractive. With every second that Alex is on screen my hate for him grows. For the first half of this episode, Alex basically treats Cricket like an annoying fly, shooing her away whenever she came near so he could keep hitting on Amy. He practically laughs in her face when she invites him to the A&C cabin to meet up. He walks right past her to put his hand on Amy’s lower back even though Amy has made it very clear she thinks he is scum. And then finally at the bar instead of buying her the screwdriver he promised, he brings up an embarrassing story about the time she threw up during color wars and excuses himself to use the bathroom. I hate this kid so much.

After Alex gives Cricket the slip yet again, Jessie comes over to give her girl some advice: make Alex jealous by flirting with Damon, the townie drug dealer. Following Jessie’s brilliant plan, Cricket flirts with Damon for a total of two minutes before he invites her to his car. She ignores the giant neon “Danger” sign flashing above Damon’s head and follows him to his car without telling anyone where she is going. Cricket starts to realize that leaving the local bar with the townie drug dealer may not have been the best idea when he starts speeding like a maniac. Then she finds a red marker and knife in his glove compartment. To my surprise, Cricket is actually proactive and draws the knife to Damon’s neck causing him to swerve off the road. A short second later, Garrett and co. come speeding up to the scene and call Damon a stalker:

Damon: Stalking? Come on, she was begging for it.
Alex: What’d you just say?
Damon: Every camp has a whore!

Next thing you know, Alex is defending Cricket’s honor by beating Damon’s ass. I seriously cannot figure out Alex. What was his motive here for defending Cricket? He obviously doesn’t respect her, or care about her, and he already knew Cricket liked him. Did he think if he defended her it would get back to Amy? Was it more about being the alpha male in this situation? Or was it because he realized that Amy wasn’t going to sleep with him that night, so Cricket was his only option? I am leaning toward that last option because as soon as they get back to camp Cricket and Alex start making out in Alex’s bunk (remember all the ‘campers’ are outside for ‘movie night’). While they are making out on the floor a mixtape labeled “Cricket” drops down from Blotter’s cubby. And finally, finally, finally, Cricket realizes that she deserves better than Alex. She deserves a guy who made her a mixtape.

Even though Mixtape was a Cricket-centric episode, we don’t learn that much more about who she is as a character. They continued to reinforce that Cricket is insecure by showing that she was overweight during her senior year and wrote about her being a slut in the boys’ bathroom at school. And they showed it some more when she decides to ditch Blair so she can sleep with a stoner guy. And a bit more when the next day in school said stoner boy ignores her and she breaks down. Okay Dead of Summer, I believe you, Cricket is insecure. I actually knew this from all of her scenes in the first two episode, but thanks for hitting that nail a few more times just to make sure I understood. The only enlightening thing from her flashbacks was how she reacted to discovering that her mother knew about her father’s affair, and did nothing about it. Her mother’s awful advice to Cricket was “sometimes women like us have to settle.” Dear every mother in the world, NEVER EVER say that to your insecure daughter. But in the end, that conversation stuck with Cricket, and she realized that she doesn’t need to settle for a sociopathic douchebag. She should be with the guy who made her a mixtape.

Incidentally, said boy with a mixtape may be dead or at the very least be missing a hand and a baby bottle.

Meanwhile at Movie Night

Even though “Mixtape” was “Cricket’s episode,” Amy was definitely the star. After giving up her night off, Amy is helping Joel get ready for movie night by splicing film and having a deep philosophical discussion:

Amy: “Isn’t reality all in our heads too.”

Touche Amy. Touche. Joel doesn’t understand why Amy isn’t upset that she had to give up her night off for Jessie’s dead grandma. Amy rolls her eyes at the fact that Joel believed Jessie’s lies

Amy: Camp is about more than finding the guy for me. It’s about having friends. Making friends. And the last way you do that is by making an enemy of someone like Jessie.

While listening to Amy talk about the value of camp alone would have made me love her, she follows this up with something even more amazing. The next morning, Amy finds Jessie sitting alone in that random counselor hangout lounge bunk. She sits beside her and offers Jessie her condolences and homemade cookies from movie night. See, when Amy’s grandma died her best friend brought her cookies, and they really did make her feel a little better. She hopes that these cookies will give Jessie just a little bit of comfort. Jessie’s face is showing all kinds of sad and guilty, and as Amy walks away, a huge smirk creeps onto her face.

Seriously though, how amazing is that. I can’t think of a more satisfying way that Amy could have handled that. That’s my girl Amy!

Also, things start heating up between my two favorite pairings, Deb/Joel and Blair/Drew.

Deb and Joel are trying to decide what movie to show the campers when Joel suggests Harold and Maude. Seriously Joel? ( I will admit, I had to google this movie to see what is actually about) Deb dismisses the idea saying that they shouldn’t show the campers a movie about a man dating a much much older women. This obviously segues into them talking about their own budding relationship with Joel revealing that he feels like he can tell Deb anything, and Deb coyly looks away. I am still digging this relationship.

Meanwhile Drew and Blair are strolling over to movie night and Blair is having an extreme case of verbal diarrhea. He literally can’t stop words from coming out of his mouth. So, to cure Blair’s condition, Drew kisses him to shut him up. Aww YAY!

The “Mystery” of Camp Stillwater
I was contemplating leaving this part out completely, as I have no interest in it, but I guess since it is supposed to be a major part of the show I am recapping I should discuss it.

Hmm, where to start. Okay, Cricket has dreams of people in wooden horse masks following her and stealing her shoes.

Turns out these horse mask men are Damon and his crew. Also, it wasn’t just a dream, they really did steal her boots. They also possibly killed Blotter (see above). The reason that he kidnapped her in his car was to steal her scrunchy, which they needed to put around a deer heart to perform a satanic ritual.

While the townie drug dealers are performing this satanic ritual Cricket puts on her string bikini to go play volleyball with her campers while Joel, the shirtless director, films the game.

When someone hits the ball into the lake, Amy offers to go in and get it because she is a sweetheart. But as she wades in the lake, the water around her starts to turn blood red, a storm starts a brewing and she gets electrocuted. Oh, and Deb has a creepy horsemask in her wardrobe. That’s about it.

(This isn’t really what it looks like when someone gets electrocuted in the water, right?)

Other things:

Okay I need to discuss this Hear n’ Speak device from this episode because it was both fascinating and ridiculous. While running A&C, one of the campers is playing with this electronic Hear n’ Speak toy. This camper is totally into it. Literally, all it does is spell out the name of an animal, and then in that late 1980’s digital voice, say the name. Like what? Is this camper sitting in arts and crafts trying to learn how to say the names of random animals right now? Is she teaching herself English? What is going on here? Cricket confiscates the toy because camp isn’t about electronic toys, it is about nature, and getting laid. Later that night when Cricket is getting ready to go out, the Hear n’ Speak goes rogue and starts repeatedly saying “don’t go.” WHAT?! I can’t… I don’t… WHAT?!?!
Amy sucks at tetherball

Nintendo Offers The Perfect Nostalgia-Filled Christmas Gift: The Classic NES

Jen Stayrook

July 14, 2016

Nintendo is really hitting it out of the park lately, what with Pokemon Go changing the way society functions, and now with the announcement of the Classic NES. The Classic NES is essentially a reboot of the old system, smaller and preloaded with 30 classically awesome games (Super Mario Bros. 3!) so there’s no need to worry about blowing those outdated cartridges.

The console comes with an HDMI port to connect it to your TV (so no need to dust off that behemoth taking up space in the garage), an AC adapter, as well as the classic NES controller, so you can reminisce about the days when you were especially bad at video games. (Just me? Okay.) As an added bonus, the new controller can also connect via a Wii-mote, allowing you to play Virtual Console games on the Wii or Wii U. (But you won’t because we’re all hipsters now living decades in the past.) The box art even has that old-school styling. How vintage!

Here’s a full list of the 30 games that come preloaded on the console:

Balloon Fight
Bubble Bobble
Castlevania
Castlevania II: Simon’s Quest
Donkey Kong
Donkey Kong Jr.
Double Dragon II: The Revenge
Dr. Mario
Excitebike
Final Fantasy
Galaga
Ghosts’N Goblins
Gradius
Ice Climber
Kid Icarus
Kirby’s Adventure
Mario Bros.
Mega Man 2
Metroid
Ninja Gaiden
Pac-Man
Punch-Out!! Featuring Mr. Dream
StarTropics
Super C
Super Mario Bros.
Super Mario Bros. 2
Super Mario Bros. 3
Tecmo Bowl
The Legend of Zelda
Zelda II: The Adventure of Link

I’m legit excited about the prospect of playing old school games with my kid. The NES Classic edition will release November 11th at a price point of $59.99. Just in time for you to get bored with Pokemon Go.

I’m just kidding. We’ll be playing Pokemon Go until we’re dead.

‘Mr. Robot’ 2nd season premiere: We all wear m4sks

Matt Perri

July 14, 2016

MR. ROBOT
Season 2, Episodes 1 & 2
“eps2.0_unm4sk-pt1.tc” & “eps2.0_unm4sk-pt2.tc”
AIR DATE: July 13, 2016
GRADE: A+

“Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t…right?”

Last year, the world was left on the brink of economic collapse thanks to Elliot and fsociety’s big hack that brought Evil Corp to its knees. Tyrell Wellick was missing in action, Elliot’s team was laying low after burning their entire hacking lab, Elliot was answering his front door for an as-yet-unseen party and Evil Corp’s big boss, Phillip Price, was telling the enigmatic and mysterious Whiterose that they knew who it was who had hacked them.

Welcome back to USA’s Mr. Robot, a show that not only surprised viewers and critics with its audacity and thoroughly realized characters (it’s the only show in Rotten Tomatoes history to get a perfect score for each episode of the first season), it’s also, just after one episode, still one of the best television shows of the modern era.

It’s a few months after fsociety’s big hack and we’re still in that very same world: dark, dreary and hopeless with the President on television trying to tell us that, while this is all unprecedented, we’ll be just fine if we stick together as a country. It’s virtually the end of the world…and Elliot feels fine. Ironically, he’s living with his mother (his actual mother, not a hallucination, but who knows these days?) and he has a routine — or an “infinite loop” as he calls it.

It consists of Elliot getting up in the morning, hanging out with his new friend, Leon (series newcomer Joey Bada$$), by eating and watching basketball together in a city yard (he hates sports but likes the fact that there’s an “invisible code” everyone plays by) and seeing his psychiatrist, Dr. Krista Gordon, who really doesn’t want to treat Elliot anymore due to the hack into her personal life last season but only does so if Elliot starts telling her the truth about himself.

He keeps a hand-written journal because it’s “what he needs to keep the program running”. It’s here we see a wrap-up of his day: bits about Leon, who he’s seen, what he’s done and what he may do tomorrow. His mother is there to tell him when it’s time to get up and when it’s time to sleep in militaristic fashion. It’s very mechanical, which is odd to Elliot: “My Mom doesn’t have any computer or Internet access to tempt me into the night,” he explains. “All that’s left for me is just ordinary, analog sleep.”

But is Elliot happy with this “routine”? His attitude is still cynically praising (and, therefore, at the same time rejecting) what it is to be a drone in this world: “Everyone goes along with their NCIS‘s and their Lexapro…isn’t that where it’s ‘comfortable’?” Krista, his long-suffering psych just stares, not knowing what to say. During Elliot’s free time, Leon psychoanalyzes Seinfeld, a show which everyone’s seen but that Leon is now just discovering. Leon cannot get over how Seinfeld is without a point or even a thick plot — yet everyone loves it.

“It’s really fucking with him,” Elliot tells us.

“It’s really fuckin’ with me!” Leon tells Elliot, explaining that there was an entire episode comprised of Jerry and his friends waiting for a table at a Chinese restaurant — and that was it. “They didn’t even eat at the end of the episode, man!” Elliot remarks that Leon talks about this each and every day without fail — which is just fine because Elliot doesn’t mind. It’s all a part of the daily program he’s comfortable with. This is something that rivals Leon’s epiphany: maybe the point of Seinfeld is that it’s supposed to be pointless, that life and love and everything is simply arbitrary and nothing more. “The human condition,” he laments, “is a straight-up tragedy, cuz.” This is interspersed with images of Obama addressing an economically-stricken nation…and Elliot sits there, half-interested. Their conversations take place with straight faces, without obvious humor, in a dank, run-down diner, almost as if we were watching Seinfeld through the lens of David Lynch.

“The regimen”, as Elliot calls it, means that he just won’t put himself back into the main equation — and this irks Mr. Robot something awful. As Elliot slaves away, putting his thoughts into a journal and sitting at lunch with Leon and his rantings about Seinfeld and doing household chores, Mr. Robot begs him to come back into the fray. He’s even killed Elliot by shooting him in the head — except that Elliot survives each time, sitting up like a zombie and staring Robot down like a parent to a petulant, angry child. This signals to us that Robot’s power over Elliot has evaporated. The moment gives us one of the more darkly funny elements of the episode: Elliot writes in his journal that Robot has done this several times and that he’s trying not to listen so he’ll return to normal.

But is that true? Is Elliot going straight? Not likely. The cold opening of the show reveals the very moment where Evil Corp got the big kick in the financial nuts, starting from the moment where Tyrell Wellick gave his big speech to the entire world about the death of Evil Corp. He slowly pulls the mask off his face, dismissing it as silly. Elliot’s too caught up in executing the death code to care what Wellick is saying — but gets out of the way when Wellick barges in front of him, practically melding with him. He’s amazed with what he’s seeing, that these numbers and letters are what’s bringing Evil Corp to his knees. He raises his hands and softly declares that it’s like “watching something come to life”. That’s when Elliot goes for Darlene’s popcorn machine gun…

But that’s where it becomes fuzzy. Instead of seeing what we think is coming next, we’re reminded of Elliot’s trauma, brought on at an early age when he was shoved out his bedroom window from the second story of his home. He’s missing hours. He can’t remember what happened to Wellick and, frankly, Mr. Robot doesn’t care. So, here we are: Elliot wants to know what happened to Tyrell Wellick and Robot wants Elliot to be “normal” again. Elliot isn’t normal. But what’s “normal” anymore? The damage has been done and there are consequences and repercussions as a result of the fsociety hack. As a result, Elliot wears a mask and he hides in plain sight.

“How come it still feels like they’re winning?” His sister, Darlene, asks as she sends out a new ransom code to Evil Corp’s computers. fsociety spends an evening quite literally cutting off the economy’s balls (the poor Bowling Green Bull gets emasculated here) and celebrates this victory — except that Darlene’s furious because her new followers are careless, seeking fame and fortune for tasks that are meant to help people.

The entire episode portrays a world up for grabs, teetering in the balance. There’s hope of a brighter future but also a prevailing sense of dread in the most Lynchian tradition. One gets the feeling that everything is “broken” and not working the way it should. This is evident from the start with a flashback involving Elliot’s infamous “fall” out his bedroom window when he’s only a child. His head is cracked open and his blood leaks into the ground. His room has no lights and the camera flies head-on into darkness. His doctor asks questions but they’re muffled and incomprehensible.

Gideon shows up in this episode, telling Elliot that the FBI believes that Gideon is behind the entire attack and that they’re most likely ready to prosecute. Gideon begs Elliot to help him — and if he doesn’t, he’ll name Elliot as an accessory to the entire thing. All the while, Mr. Robot screams at Elliot, telling him that he has no choice but to explain the truth. He even threatens to slit Gideon’s throat — and follows through — but Elliot’s gamble is right on: Mr. Robot has no control over Elliot. Gideon lives — if only for a short while — because Robot’s gruesome actions are truly hallucinations and not something Elliot’s doing anymore. Gideon’s real fate comes later and it’s truly agonizing. As much as he was a part of the “system”, he was an unknowing, naive pawn and it’s sad to know that he won’t be redeemed. It’s also unknown as to whether or not Robot was a part of it. After all, he was there during Gideon’s ultimatum.

Whereas Gideon was unknowing, Angela has fully embraced Evil Corp and wears it around her like a skin. Instead of the frumpy girl wearing a tie to work in a fit of defiant irony, she dons a business suit, her hair is neatly pulled back and she’s an absolute shark, wheeling and dealing to keep Evil Corp’s name out of the gutter. She’s such an asshole that her co-workers all hate her. The one who carries the flag for that mob always attempts to find ways to slime her so that she’ll presumably take Angela’s place. Alas, it never happens and it’s downright chilling to watch the woman we loved be so cold to people she would usually have respect for. She even quashes the Evil Corp lawsuit, which serves to confirm her turn to the dark side. Her lawyer, Antara Nayar (Sakina Jaffrey from last season), is disappointed but doesn’t get emotional. Sharks recognize their own, after all, and one gets the feeling that Nayar knows the battle with Evil Corp is far from finished. Instead, she offers Angela a simple anecdote:

“A guy walks up to a woman at a bar…he flirts with her, he makes small talk but the woman insists she isn’t going home with him. Guy says, ‘What if I offer you a million dollars to sleep with me?’ The woman’s never had a million dollars in her life. She stops and considers the offer very seriously. The guy changes his mind, says, ‘What if I changed my offer to a dollar instead?’ The woman is aghast: ‘What kind of woman do you think I am?’ Guy says, ‘We’ve already figured that out. Now, we’re just negotiating.'”

Having virtually just been called a corporate whore by Nayar, it’s here we see Angela’s mask disintegrate for the first time. And, as if to reclaim her newfound dominance, she sleeps with the first guy who hits on her at the bar — then gets up in the middle of the night to watch a late night meditation program where she repeats confidence affirmations like a mantra. And the mask is back on, for better or for worse. Even more frightening (and somewhat similar) is Tyrell’s estranged wife, Joanna, who has a new boytoy in her life. While she enjoys the fruits of his BDSM “labors”, she remains ice cold. It’s only when a mysterious box containing a random cellphone shows up on her doorstep that she lights up. But if it’s from Tyrell, does Joanna truly miss him enough to pick up the line when he calls?

The opening episode of Mr. Robot illustrates why the show has so many fans. At its lightest, the show is a breeze. At its darkest, it’s the most fun you’ll ever have. “unm4sked” has several little impressive pieces that are so good, they may be hard for the rest of the series to top. Darlene’s hostile takeover of the house belonging to Evil Corp’s lawyer, “Madame Executioner” Susan Jacobs (cast newcomer Sandrine Holt) is a standout and an audiophile’s wet dream: Jacobs’ house is a “Smarthome” which is to say that everything from the alarm to the electricity to the entertainment to the water temperature is controlled by a wireless tablet. When it seemingly goes rogue, it’s funny and simultaneously terrifying. Lights flicker, the TV goes haywire, the alarm goes off randomly, her shower nearly burns her, Mozart begins blasting during her swim time before stopping just as quickly, her own house phone dials her and she can only hear her voice echoing when she speaks…it’s like a haunted house with no supernatural culprit except for fsociety’s tricks and games. Even Tech Support can’t help her and it’s amusing to see Jacobs become the victim of the bureaucratic system she helped build.

Even her own advice backfires on her: fsociety releases a malicious piece of ransomware to Evil Corp’s computers, extorting the company for nearly six million dollars. “We can find that money in our couch cushions,” she snorts, while telling CTO Scott Knowles that he’ll be a part of the money drop. Even Phillip Price laughs the whole thing off as a sick joke and we see the disgust on Knowles’ face. Last season, he lost his wife at the hands of the murderous Tyrell Wellick. His mask has all but fallen off and it’s very plain to see that he no longer has the stomach for what he does for this company.

The drop sequence is beautifully done, using One World Trade Center as a backdrop and Phil Collins’ “Take Me Home” quietly building itself up to a crescendo fitting of the moment. We Scott plop the bags containing the ransom money down on the pavement. Scott stands…and waits…and waits…until a bike messenger shows up with a delivery. It’s a backpack, containing an fsociety mask and lighter fluid. He’s horrified when he reads the note written on the inner portion of it and gets a phone call promising the destruction of Evil Corp’s systems if he doesn’t do what the mask says. Without hesitation or choice, Knowles dumps the bags out, douses it all with lighter fluid and lights six million dollars on fire to the confusion of a stone-faced crowd that assembles almost as if to mecca. It’s one of the show’s most magical and greatest moments so far.

The second season of any show is usually the one that tells us where the series is going and whether or not it will succeed. Showrunner Sam Esmail has an embarrassment of riches at his disposal from an incredibly deep and diverse cast to the movie-quality production and tight scripts that tell an incredible (and very timely) story, “eps2.0_unm4sked.tc” is extraordinary. Episodes like this and it’s predecessor, “eps1.9_zer0-day.avi”, are what separate ordinary shows from the rest of the pack. These kinds of episodes not only build a fanbase, they also build a reputation. While it might be too soon to drop a “one of the greats” label on Mr. Robot, if Esmail and his crew continue to pump out quality episodes like the one I saw tonight, they may well earn it soon enough.

The Workprint Gamescast Episode 32: Fantasy Metacritic League

Jen Stayrook

July 13, 2016

What’s up, guys and gals! Welcome to the Workprint Gamescast!

Listen to Rob, Jen, Bilal, and the gang talk about the latest in video games news, what they’re playing, and all other manner of nerdy habits.

THIS WEEK ON THE GAMESCAST: In this week’s episode, Rob comes up with video game “fantasy league” and the gang has their inaugural draft. Bilal played a handful of indie games, while Jen discuss her childhood Bill Pullman fantasies. I’m not going to lie… it was a weird week!

What’s up: 00:52

What we’ve been playing: 14:40

Pokemon Go discussion: 37:21

Fantasy Metacritic League Draft: 51:40

After the dramatic events of the draft, the current teams are as follows:

Bilal:

Forza Horizon 3
Mafia 3
Gears of War 4
Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare
Watch Dogs 2
Battlefield 1
Final Fantasy XV

Rob:

NBA2K17
Deus Ex: Mankind Divided
No Man’s Sky
South Park: The Fractured But Whole
Titanfall 2
Fifa 17
Gran Turismo Sport

Jen:

Dishonored 2
Pokemon: Sun and Moon
I Am Setsuna
Civilization VI
Monster Hunter: Generations
The Last Guardian
Yomawari: Night Alone

Check back with us at the end of the year to see how the teams did!

Follow the Gamescast hosts on Twitter!

Rob: @Sunnyvice20
Jen: @JenStayrook
Bilal: @Bilal_Mian

Want to watch our shenanigans live? Check out the Workprint Twitch channel.

‘Scream’ review: Phoning the right one in

Matt Perri

July 13, 2016

SCREAM
Season 2, Episode 7
“Let the Right One In”
Airdate: July 12, 2016
GRADE: D-

And this is what I mean when I say this show is “frustrating”.

Last week, MTV’s Scream finally gave us something fun to watch. It wasn’t perfect but it moved things along and made me look forward to next week.

And what did we get this week?

A throwaway episode where every single character — including the Killer — do things that completely betray what they’re about for the dumbest reasons.

“Let the Right One In” (named after the famous overseas vampire flick — something I dearly wish this show would stop doing since the titles are pretentious and have nothing to do with what’s seen each week) is the seventh episode of Scream‘s sophomore season and, for an episode that really needs to continue to tell a lucid, compelling story, it seems a lot more interested in giving us insipid plot points and incompetent characters who change from one episode to the next.

When we last left the show, poor Seth Branson had it rough. First, Brooke broke up with him after teasing him with castration while he was tied up. Then, after Brooke left, he ended up losing a hand at the…er, hands of The Killer. The upside was that The Killer also cauterized the amputation by using a household iron. So that was nice of them, huh? We really never witnessed Branson’s fate after all that.

And we know it isn’t good news when Brooke receives a text from “Seth Branson”, telling her to come to him to “apologize” for what she did, lest she wants to be turned over to the police. But, Brooke is strong and doesn’t care. We saw that last episode. Which is why she agrees to meet Branson. It’s a good thing, then, that Audrey’s with her to encourage her to summon her newly-acquired Gurl Power(!!!)…by weakly telling her not to go to Branson, then giving in. Even after “Branson” tells Brooke to “meet him at the school” in his “old office”. And all Audrey can muster is “This is probably not good, but let’s go.”

They get this text from Branson while visiting the hotel room Brooke locked him in (room number “187”, by the way; even the show’s “in-jokes” are obnoxious and feel like a bad comedian trying hard, but failing, to make you laugh), a room which has been completely wiped clean. Blood is gone, bed is made (with clean linens), but the handcuffs and blindfold are still there, neatly laid out on the bed like a pair of socks and a tie. This obviously means a) The Killer cleaned the room himself or b) the maid staff is tolerant and open-minded and thought, “That must have been one hell of a night for these two,” before mopping up a pint of blood, changing the sheets and leaving the sex toys out to enjoy. If it’s “B”, they forgot the mint on the pillow.

Just last week, you had Brooke threatening Branson’s life and, here, she’s already rolling over and reverting to the airhead MTV has been feeding us for the last season and a half. It’s mind-blowing just how horrible this show can get…oh! I forgot. There was a camera watching the girls the whole time they were in there. Yeah. It was sitting next to the coffee machine with a BIG, RED BLINKING LIGHT that’s basically signalling to them and yelling “Hi, there” and neither girl notices it.

So, the twist here is that The Killer is trying to lure Audrey to the school. Which is why The Killer texts Audrey right after the hotel to tell her to “come to the school alone”. Except Brooke is with her and was originally invited, not Audrey. Didn’t The Killer tell Brooke to come to the school? Wasn’t that the idea established about five minutes prior to the scene with Brooke primping herself in front of a mirror for a man she hates and vowed not to go near? A man who betrayed her trust and who was taking money to stay away from her?!

IS THIS SHOW FOR FRIGGIN’ REAL?!

And The Killer…hooo boy. They’re not off the hook, either. The Killer has one job to do: be creepy over the phone and occasionally appear with a knife. Sometimes, he/she chases victims around or attacks them or kills them and we’re like, “Cool! Give us more of that!” This week, The Killer does this, stabs an already wounded Seth Branson (who they used as bait to attract Ms. Lang) and then severely injures Ms. Lang by throwing her to the ground so hard, she cracks her head open and nearly bleeds to death. The problem is that the school’s janitor is there and he interrupts The Killer — who just bolts, leaving Lang’s body behind.

Audrey surmises that she was supposed to catch The Killer in the act so that they could pin the murder on Audrey which doesn’t make any sense considering The Killer already has footage of Audrey with Jake’s dead body. If that was truly the plan, why didn’t The Killer murder the damn janitor and stick around to finish her off?

And where is The Killer dumping bodies?

At a model home in the middle of property nobody at Lakewood ever accesses. Last week, I thought that “Eddie Kruger” was still in the bathtub at Lakewood Motel. He wasn’t. He’s in the bathtub at Casa de Killer. Folded up next to him is — you guessed it — Seth Branson. The same guy The Killer stabbed and then left behind to die when the janitor interrupted him. The Killer went back and got Branson. While he was bleeding to death. Leaving an unavoidable trail of human blood behind that nobody noticed? And, yes, I was wrong about Eddie being dead at the motel. PLEASE explain to me why nobody has reported him missing.

The Killer’s yuppie lair of doom is introduced to us, the audience, because Eli brings Emma there. If you’re not caught up, Eli is Keiran’s mysterious cousin who has made it his personal mission to get into Emma’s pants. Emma can’t really stand him and has told him that she isn’t interested in him. So, naturally, she agrees to go on a date with him to an abandoned housing project (that has no signs of wear and tear) so they can have dinner via lantern light with chicken and wine. “I like to pretend I have other lives,” Eli tells her. Not surprisingly, Emma plays that off like it’s no big deal even though there are enough red flags here to adorn the entire Chinese Navy. In the cold open, Eli is shown breaking into a couple’s home while they sleep. He uses their toaster, eats some toast, tries on the husband’s sunglasses, then leaves. It’s all really weird — but it’s also fairly interesting. But the $64,000 dollar question is, “Will this be something?” Or will it be another obnoxious red herring that whacks you in the face, then sits on you like a giant elephant until you submit?

Their dinner is interrupted when The Killer sets fire to the place and, at that point, I really didn’t care if either one lived or died because I don’t care about Eli or Emma anymore. Eli serves no purpose other than to be weird and smarmy (and borderline rapey) to create an ill-conceived, D.O.A. “love triangle”. That’s it. And that doesn’t work when Emma’s shutting him down 24-7. It also doesn’t work because Keiran is as boring as Emma. He smolders and broods and carries a gun and talks back to the cops every two episodes. That’s it. So, when Scream insists on pushing this “Emma-Eli-Keiran” thing for nothing else than to appease the teeny boppers watching the show, I’m counting the minutes until we get back to something juicier.

Like…Noah almost losing his virginity? Whoa. Ok. Yeah. To Zoey. For the love of…

Yeah, Zoey. The girl who shut Noah down, told him she wasn’t interested, apologized later on…she asks Noah out on a date. Well, to study…but it ends up being a beach picnic. She even brought Noah a pair of swim trunks which, if a guy did that for a girl, would be considered really sleazy. Here, it’s meant to be “cute”. The showrunners somehow even managed to get this gem on television:

ZOEY: So, how is your love-hate relationship with this body of water now?
NOAH: Uh…I…feel like a pretty big fan of the bodies NEAR me right now…

In the words of MST3K’s Mike Nelson: “No! Don’t you ever do that again!”

Then they kiss.

Then Noah decides it’s time to get laid.

He visits his local Walgreen’s and agonizes over which condoms to pick up until a kindly old clerk helps him pick some for him, asking “Let’s at least narrow down your size…are you a big boy?”

Fear not. This leads somewhere. Before Noah becomes a man, he lets Zoey record her voice on his podcast microphone and saves the file to his desktop — next to Audrey’s confession file from last week so, while Noah goes to find a bottle of booze for the two of them to consume, Zoey e-mails the file to herself. Then she decides it’s time to get it on because nothing gets a woman hotter than finding out that your competition is a murder suspect. Fittingly, it’s Audrey who interrupts Noah and Zoey’s hook-up by complete accident because she bursts into Noah’s home like Kramer on Seinfeld. If horror film rules apply, that’s probably a good thing for Noah.

The other major plot twist (besides the fact that Seth Branson’s still alive as the bathroom around him burns…yay…more Seth Branson…) is that the Sheriff Acosta searches the “creepy abandoned farm” (the “creepy, abandoned plot line from the first episode of the new season) and finds a photo of Emma as a young girl posing with a guy whose face is scratched out — only he doesn’t let his police force know that he has it and only lets Emma in on its existence. A whopping three minutes is spent on this. The same amount of time was spent on Noah buying condoms. Twenty of it was spent on Noah getting some.

I think we can see where the show’s priorities lie.

This was a disappointing step down for Scream after the goodwill it offered last week. I wasn’t expecting brilliance or even a big turnaround tonight but I was hoping for consistency. It’s obvious the showrunners aren’t interested in providing that. At the beginning of this review, I said that the titles of the episodes bear little resemblance to what is shown to us. One could make the case that this week was about physical trust what with Emma and Eli, Noah and Zoey and Brooke and Branson. The issue is that, even in the short-term, these stories are awkward and uninteresting. And forget long-term. If the show gives us strong female characters last week and then gives us the same characters with their brains removed this week, they’re clearly not interested in “long-term” when it comes to anything.

They really should start to care if they want this series to continue.

’12 Monkeys’ Review: The Road to Titan

Nicole C

July 11, 2016

12 Monkeys

Season 2, Episode 12: “Blood Washed Away”

Air Date: July 11, 2016

12 Monkeys season 2 has been a crazy ride full of new revelations, fascinating primaries, and unexpected twists and turns. Now that we’re at the second to the last episode of the season, our heroes face two missions: Cole and Cassie back in 1957 attempt to stop the final massive paradox from happening, while Ramse, Jennifer, the Daughters and Team Revenge head to Titan to kill the Witness. It’s a race against clock as both groups hope that their objectives are achieved to prevent the collapse of time itself.

Here’s are the important things to know about Blood Washed Away:

1957-1959

Cole and Cassie have decided that the primary must be an employee inside the Maxwell Rigfield Factory. They arrive in January and the explosion happens in November that year so they have 11 months to find their target before the Messengers do.

This whole time, C & C haven’t really patched things up even though Cassie had told Cole that she didn’t want to be afraid anymore. However, they suck it up and attempt to work together to find the primary. Dr. Railly joins the secretarial staff in the office, while Cole entered the labor force. Slowly they both investigated and eliminated all the different workers in the factory. With only a few days left, the two get desperate and even more catty with their time running out and no leads.

They get into an argument and Cole heads to the Emerson’s bar to get a drink and clear his head. There he sees a co-worker named Charlie who we find out is there because his dying wife told him to get out of the house for a bit. Charlie gives his friend some advice that no matter what’s happening between him and his lady, in the end the only thing he’ll want is more time with her. Listening, Cole goes back upstairs where Cassie is on the phone. Once her call is done, she comes outside to the living room (he sleeps on the couch) and says that they have a new lead. Looks like there will be day laborers coming to the factory in the next few days to fix the roof and one of them must be the primary, which is why they haven’t found anything this whole time. She somewhat apologizes too that they haven’t been very kind of each other these months and says that she hoped Ramse would get to Titan and kill the Witness to undo all of this but it’s getting down to the line and this is their last chance.

When the day laborers start working, Cole finagles his way into watching over them. He thinks that the primary could be a man named Reginald because he’s super twitchy and seems to be afraid of Cole. He tells Cassie his suspicions and has her go through his files to see if she can uncover anything. She ends up finding a drawing of a monkey on his hiring paper. She shows it to Cole that night after he comes back to their room and tells her that he thinks Reginald is their primary.

The next day they spot Reggie and Cole tells Cassie that he can handle this himself and that if anything happens he’ll meet her back at the Emerson. Reluctantly she agrees and he takes the other man towards the back. Out front, a woman in a robe has appeared with a gun and a box for some unknown reason and Cassie hears about it once she is inside the office. She takes off thinking that it could be one of the Messengers here to paradox their primary. In the meantime Cole is discovers that Reggie is a fake and that he was paid to act frightened of him.

Cassie takes her own gun and confronts the woman inside the factory floor. The other woman asks where her husband is and the doctor in turn asks who is her husband. Charlie enters and disarms Cassie then pushes her over and goes to his dying wife Melinda. Damn. It turns out Melinda is the primary, Charlie is one of the Messengers, and against all odds they fell in love. Charlie takes the bone knife from the box as his wife reassures him that she’s known her whole life that this is what’s supposed to happen but he is in agony because he doesn’t want to hurt her.

Charlie tells Cassie that he had killed the other Messenger and that not everything the Witness said was true. Melinda is urging her husband to paradox her so that they can live together forever in the red forest. Seems like love once again is a motivating factor to bring on the end of time. Cole arrives at the scene and Charlie apologizes, saying that he of all people should understand this and then he stabs his wife. Mission fail.

Cole visits Cassie at the hospital where she has been under a coma for the last 19 days after the blast. He apologies that it was his fault and that he couldn’t stop the paradox. He whispers that the best thing for her now is to wake up and forget that she ever knew him. Cole kisses her forehead and takes one last long lingering look before departing. While asleep, Cassie has been dreaming about the red forest and the house of cedar and pine. When she finally wakes up it’s been six months since the explosion and the doctor informs her that they haven’t had any other patients from that incident. It’s now also 1958 and Cassie’s thinking wth.

She returns to the Emerson to find their room cleaned out apart of the furniture. Cassie feels completely alone and abandoned. Can’t blame her, guy should have left some kind of note at least. Another six months later, we see that she’s now working as a nurse at the hospital where doctors come to her for her medical help because she is all knowing.

We flash to 1959, Cassie is still by herself and is writing a note to Cole, wondering where he is right now and if he was with someone he loved. Looks like she has been searching for him this entire time because a bellhop knocks at her door and delivers a note from an American Union representative who said that they found an address for the name she was looking for. The name: Morris Morrison. OH COLE!!! The address is 10 Old Pines Rd. (wink wink), Binghamton NY.

12monkeys — We’re with you Cassie, wth is going on?

Cassie drives upstate to see Morris but is completely freaked the hell out when she gets there because YES THAT’s RIGHT, WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF MOTHER FREAKING CEDAR AND PINE. So the question is, what the hell is Cole doing there?!? Could he be the Witness after all? Oh 12 Monkeys you love with screw with us don’t you!! Many fans do believe that Cole is the Witness and him being at his house definitely makes us think, possibly.

Cole is out back sawing a piece of wood when he cuts himself and his blood falls to the tall grass. He notices her approach and asks what she’s doing here and she in turn asks the same thing. He responds that he bought the house just because he saw a for sale sign when he was driving by. The time traveler says that she is safe here because there is no plague and no red forest, she can live a life. Cassie though doesn’t want to just forget the future but Cole doesn’t know what else to do. As she berates him that he left because he was afraid, it begins to rain and her mind is going into overdrive remembering Olivia’s words. She goes inside the house with him to clean his wound. As she walks into the living room and sees the old grandfather clock, she remembers it from the time she was trapped inside her mind while the Witness controlled her body.

As she recalls red tea visions, Cassie tells a confused Cole that the Army of the 12 Monkeys knew this place and this very moment. He argues that she should forget about this an go live her life because for once there’s time. She responds back saying that this wasn’t permanent and that she’s still supposed to die at the CDC in 2018 but he says that they don’t know that. Cole believes that Ramse managed to find Titan and kill the Witness and so until time comes crashing down around them they should believe that he succeeded in the future.

Angry, Cassie says fine she’ll leave because that’s what he wants anyways and in turn Cole tells her that he left because he wanted her to be free of him. But she didn’t ask for that! She finally says what we’ve all been thinking that he left her because he’s in love with her. Cassie had always known duh. Cole though throws it right back at her because she kept pushing him away so that she wouldn’t have anyone else to lose and now she doesn’t. They have a stare down and then finally Cassie kisses him passionately. About damn time guys! The lovebirds get their groove on.

2044

Meanwhile in the future, Team Revenge is having a rough time getting to Colorado. They are incredibly low on food and supplies while having to constantly fight other scavengers along the way. Almost to their destination though, Ramse asks one of the fallen scavs if he’s seen a place about 30 miles away from here called Titan and the other man says that there is a place with lights and sounds but they stay far away from it after some of their folks went and never returned. Ramse then kills the guy without hesitation. Doing him a favor I guess?

While Whitley tells him that the group needs to rest, Ramse is adamant that they move on. However it looks like they do take some time to just relax because when nightfall hits, Deacon comes back and says that they found the other group’s camp but there wasn’t any food to be found. Hannah also returns via horseback and says that she scouted the example location of where Titan ought to be but there was nothing there.

Jennifer’s lieutenant loses her cool and challenges Ramse, tired that they didn’t really have their Mother anymore and that she didn’t want them following a mission that wasn’t even really theirs to begin with. He brings up a good counterargument because even if the Daughters left, where would they go? Where could they go? The time storm was on their heels and no place was really safe. Their only shot was to find Titan and kill the Witness to end all of this once and for all. He tells Jennifer to set her people straight but the young woman isn’t feeling very confident about her leadership skills. Her lieutenant has had it though and says that they are done following this girl. To settle this, they have a fight of course because in the apocalypse might is right? Or so it seems that to be a leader in the future, you have to be very alpha and be one badass mofo that can’t be killed easily. So they battle and Ramse wins. He’s about to slit her throat when Jennifer intercedes and begs him to stop with the killing.

Ramse, Adler, Hannah and others look at the map where Ramse says that since the GPS she was using was connected to the transponder in the Humvee that broke down that it must have sent her on the wrong direction. In addition there were hills and valleys around there so she could have been close but missed it. Jennifer comes up to the small group and says that the Daughters aren’t going with them but Hannah says that she needs to convince them to come because the storm is just behind them and its catching up fast. Hannah says that she taught them to be willing to give up their lives for each other and if that she should at least be willing to give up hers for them. Jones’ daughter decides to go with Ramse and the rest of Team Revenge to Titan still, even though she herself doesn’t know if its really there.

They head to the spot where Hannah had scouted and they finally see the lights of Titan. Once they enter, we see that it is a huge industrial complex. Music begins to play and Deacon asks Ramse why he’s going towards the sound because nothing about this place says good idea. But at this point we know that the man is beyond reason and he knows that the Witness is here. The small group comes upon a clearing where a small circular stage with strange lit up red symbols on it has been built, with a hooded person standing at the center, he/she facing away from them. Ramse immediately thinks this is Witness and tells the figure to turn around. It does and they see a person wearing the plague mask.

Ramse screams for him/her to take off the mask when other 12 Monkeys minions come out and they are ambushed. The time traveler gets stabbed and one by one everyone in his party gets killed: Whitley, Hannah, and Deacon. Death was waiting for them at Titan.

Who could you be? The Witness or another minion?

Final Thoughts

Ahhh!!! So now that both missions failed, what happens next? There is definitely something more going on with Cole and Cassie that we know off because it’s no coincidence that they are now at the house of cedar and pine. Will there be ramifications in the future now that the two have gotten together? Is Cassie still going to die at the CDC in 2018? This episode has brought on so many new questions naturally.

While we still don’t know the Witness’ identity, he must be somehow linked to Cassie and Cole, given the importance he gives to both individuals and the attachment to the house of cedar and pine. Let’s not forget the whole 1957-1959 this was home message we saw earlier this season.

There have been lots of changes for our major characters this season so far and it’s been a lot of fun to see them deal with it. Deacon fell in love and got rejected, Jennifer came to the future and has to learn to become a leader, Cole actually becoming a leader, Jones losing hope and then gaining it back, Cassie and Ramse becoming consumed with anger and revenge and becoming allies because of their common interest. It’s also been fascinating to see how intricate the plans of 12 Monkeys have been and the mystery behind the Witness.

It’s definitely been an amazing season and one can only ponder what the finale will bring and thank you Syfy for renewing (at last).

Watch the preview for next week’s season 2 finale:

12 Monkeys airs Mondays 9/8 central on Syfy.

Catch up on all things 12 Monkeys here.

The ‘Outlander’ Season 2 Finale “Dragonfly in Amber” Will Tear Your Guts Out

Jen Stayrook

July 10, 2016

Spoilers through Outlander season 2, episode 13, “Dragonfly in Amber.”

There are few shows on television that cut me as deep emotionally as Outlander, so naturally, I was dreading this finale. Rarely does anyone want a show to come to an end, but this one especially so because of what we already know from season two’s first episode: the battle of Culloden happens and Claire journeys back through the stones, pregnant with Jamie’s child. Even knowing what we did, the ride was still incredibly enjoyable. Sure, some of the France stuff was hit or miss, but mostly, Outlander’s second season has been an enjoyable and emotional ride. One where the ending means the separation of one of, if not the, best couples on television.

“Dragonfly in Amber” starts in the 1960’s and I’ll say this about the episode: it jumps around the timeline quite a bit, back and forth between 1968 and 1745. I won’t do that in my recap, frankly because I found the jump between time periods rather jarring, but as I’ll discuss, I’m not sure how else sure the story could have been presented.

In 1968, Claire and daughter, Brianna Randall are in Scotland attending the funeral of Reverend Wakefield. There, they meet the incredibly sweet Roger Wakefield, and the two young ones immediately hit it off. Bree and Roger head out and explore Scotland, taking in the sights, visiting Fort William and the university at Inverness. They have a few historical conversations, talk about Bree’s parents, and even meet Geillis Duncan before she goes back in time. Geillis, Gillian in modern day, is a public speaker, advocating for a free Scotland. It’s a subject she’s clearly passionate about and even compares herself to the Bonnie Prince Charles. But Bree is much more interested in what happened between her parents, namely the rift that occurred between them in 1948. She and Roger snoop through the Reverand’s old journals and learn the truth of the matter: Claire had a three-year-long affair.

Claire, meanwhile, does her own sightseeing, but instead goes to the places that have the most meaning: Lallybroch, the Fraser headstone at Culloden Moor, and the Battle of Culloden museum. She even finds time to dig up the Deed of Sasine she witnessed Jamie sign before the battle itself. It’s an emotional time for Claire, going back over the memories, but she handles it well, even finally saying goodbye to Jamie at the Fraser headstone.

Things come to head, however, when Bree confronts Claire about the affair and wants to know the truth. Claire explains that she went back in time and fell in love with Bree’s father, Jamie. It’s here that I expected the flashbacks to occur. They didn’t, but this is where I’m going to talk about them because narratively, it makes the most sense to me.

Back in 1745, it is the morning of the Battle of Culloden and Claire and Jamie are out of options. Claire suggests they poison the Bonnie Prince Charles and Jamie is understandably aghast at the proposition. Claire, however, has run out of cares to give for the incompetent leader. Unfortunately. Dougal overhears this conversation and a fight ensues, leading to Jamie, with the help of Claire, to killing Dougal. It’s then that OF COURSE Rupert walks in, sees the deed, and Jamie realizes that no matter what he does, he’s a dead man. He signs over the Deed of Sasine (that Claire finds in 1968) to his nephew, Jamie Murray, to keep Lallybroch out of the hands of the English. Then he takes Claire to the stones to send her back to Frank, to the relative safety of the 20th century. Tearfully, Claire agrees, the couple shares one final time together, and she goes back through the stones.

In the modern era, Bree doesn’t believe Claire’s story and thinks she’s making up the time travel to save face. However, when Claire learns that Geillis plans to travel back in time herself, Claire, Bree, and Roger head to Cragh na Dun to stop her. Or at the very least, prove Claire correct. Geillis uses dark magic and the death of her first husband to travel back to the 18th century and finally, both Bree and Roger believe Claire’s story. Roger then tells Claire that he learned through the Reverend’s letters that Jamie survived the Battle of Culloden and Claire vows to return to him.

I have so many feelings about this finale that I will try not to veer too much into rambling territory. First things first, the editing in this episode was so jarring that I think it ruined some of the emotional impact of the story. All of the moments in the 18th century were fraught with tension, emotion, and heartbreak, and they were broken up into pieces by the oftentimes silly scenes in the 20th century, with loud boisterous music to boot. The beauty in Dougal’s death and the fact that Claire physically gave Jamie the strength to carry it out, in particular, were drowned out by the quick transition to a car ride in 1968. The importance of the Deed of Sasine and the highlander’s goodbye were quick blips between the modern era’s story and it seemed a shame to zoom past them so quickly.

I loved everything in the 18th century: the Frasers outwardly claiming Fergus as their child, Murtaugh’s resolution to die beside Jamie, and ultimately, the goodbye between our lovers. And yet, I cannot help but think Outander’s finale would have been better served with just a few more minutes of highlander screen time. Of course no one wants to say goodbye to Scotland and this relationship we’ve come to adore over the past two years, but we also want to be able to relish the smaller relationships we might never see again: Rupert, Murtaugh, and especially Fergus. Even the final goodbye felt rushed, especially the discussion about Claire being pregnant, but I was okay with it, given Jamie’s own time constraint with the impending battle. The sex was rushed and will likely anger the fans of the smut, but it felt real for the moment. And of course, Jamie’s “Lord, ye gave me a rare woman, and God! I loved her well” shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.

Maybe I take that back. I was an emotional wreck after episode one, so I’m not sure I could have handled a longer goodbye between these two, even knowing they somehow find their way back to one another years later.

The moments in the 20th century were less emotional but just as important. I’ll be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of Brianna Randall and I can’t quite empathize with her hatred toward Claire, even before she finds out the truth about her father. Hopefully, season three will explore that distance between mother and daughter and how Claire, trying her best to go on without Jamie, still lived with her heart in another world.

Some of the writing in the 20th century felt stiff and too “on the nose”, even for Outlander. For instance, Brianna’s trip to Fort William, standing near the whipping post gave her chills and I think I would have preferred just a lingering stare or something less mystical than outwardly sensing her father’s pain in that place. Even Claire’s journey around Inverness felt too much like it was trying to tug on the heartstrings instead of just telling the story at hand. Caitriona Balfe is such an amazing actress, especially when it comes to facial expressions, so I wish they had relied more heavily on her talent to show Claire’s torment.

All of this being said, for all my complaints about the editing and the dialogue (especially Brianna’s), I still think that the season two finale of Outlander is gut-wrenching television. It left me an emotional wreck and I’m not entirely sure how I’ll manage to survive until next year. If the season hadn’t so masterfully enhanced this beautiful relationship, played up the struggles between Claire and Jamie so well, their goodbye and then hopeful reunion wouldn’t have been such an emotional roller coaster ride. All of the credit is due to the insane chemistry between the two leads, their gentle understanding of one another, and the ability to say so much with so little. It’s cheesy and goodness, I’m such a romantic, but I cannot help but love every scene they share.

And of course, I have to applaud the always outstanding Bear McCreary for his music, without whom certain emotional scenes would have been left dry and wanting. If not for the fabulous building score, Claire’s goodbye at the headstone would have been empty and cliche. Instead, it pulled at all the right strings and was remarkable, a perfect moment between a woman and the ghost she left behind for twenty years.

I’m sure that others will compare this finale to the Game of Thrones finale and that just isn’t fair because while Thrones builds all season to its finale, Outlander spends its entire season building relationships that tell stories. And as much as I loved Thrones, it can’t even compare to the feelings I have for Outlander and how excited I am for a third season.

Outlander will return next spring for season three and then again for season four.

‘Dark Matter’: Is [SPOILER] Really Dead?

Jen Stayrook

July 9, 2016

We’re talking a major character death from the first two episodes of Dark Matter season 2 so obviously there are some spoilers. FYI.

The first two episodes of Dark Matter’s second season have been BANANAS. I’ve been critical of some aspects of the show in the past but I’m afraid if it continues in its current direction, I’ll have to eat my shirt. Dark Matter is amazing sci-fi television, full of suspense, action, and really, really good characters. However, there’s one numbered character whose time on the show might have been cut short.

In the first episode of the season, One, Derrick Moss, was given a reprieve from jail time due to the fact that he’s not the criminal Jace Corso (despite his changed face) and because he’s CEO to his father’s corporation, CoreLactic Industries, so he’s got them good lawyers and shit. However, at the end of the episode, One was acting a bit paranoid, concerned that someone, like the acting CEO of his company, wanted him dead and he didn’t know who he could trust. He tells Six:

“If anything it’s woken me up. It made me realize the danger of being too trusting.”

Understandable, especially given that Six is responsible for the crew of the Raza’s newfound Prison Break scenario. One is determined to find out what really happened in the murder of his wife while being more skeptical of those around him. And yet, despite his stirring revelation, at the end of episode one, One opens the door to his cushy rental room and in walks Jace Corso, set on murder and revenge. Pew pew. One is dead. Long live Her Majesty Two.

But is One really dead? Is that the last we’ve seen of the whiny Derrick Moss?

In an interview with showrunner Joseph Mallozzi, The TV Fanatics had this to say:

The TV Junkies: A gunshot wound to the head seems pretty definitive, but can you officially confirm that One, at least as we know him, has died?

Joseph Mallozzi: I can confirm that.

With controversies over dead characters on TV shows in the past, and with Game of Thrones straight up lying to us for like nine months, I’m a little skeptical of when a showrunner “confirms” a character’s death. Because I’m obsessively thorough when it comes to the media I consume, let’s go over the possibilities for One’s death:

There are a few arguments to be made here for what could have happened to Derrick Moss. A clone seems like too easy a way out and even with Moss’s money, we know that the technology for long-term clones just isn’t available. As we saw last season with Six, when killed, clones simply explode into a pile of glitter dust.

dark matter clone death — Pictured: Six’s clone death in season 1, episode 8.

This doesn’t happen with Moss, but with camera angle trickery and deception, maybe it occurs later and we, as viewers, don’t see it. It does take a few moments for Six’s clone in season one to completely disintegrate. Moss making use of a clone is a slight possibility but one that seems too obvious for a show that has stated it isn’t afraid to kill off its main characters. However, the option is still there, which could make for an interesting stand-off should One/Corso try to return to the Raza.

Then there’s the possibility of a role reversal. Could it be that Moss somehow tricked Corso into breaking into his room to steal goods and then showed up as Corso to kill him? Therefore setting the stage for his own escape from the corporation that also wants him dead? It’s a plot that would take a lot of fast ingenuity on the part of Moss and frankly, I don’t think he has that kind of wit in him. Moreover, given that Moss is dressed in the same outfit between scenes and his demeanor is similar to the one we’ve grown accustomed to seeing from Moss, I think it’s clear that he was the one killed.

So we’re left with one real possibility: One is dead.

But what does this mean for Dark Matter? After episode two the crew of the Raza has escaped imprisonment and they’ve picked up a few new members, but what will they do once they’ve learned the fate of One?

Joseph Mallozzi has said:

“You’re going to have to wait another four episodes or so. They’re not going to let that lie. The first step is that they have to find out that One is dead. Next they have to find out the circumstances of his death, who did it and then they have to go after that person. All of that will happen in Season 2.”

So then the big question here, if we truly the believe the “he’s dead statement, why have One make a grand revelation about who to trust and moving forward?

Because of who he talks to: Six.

Six is a character struggling with loyalties and as we saw in episode two, he doesn’t know quite who to trust, but ultimately decides on helping the crew of the Raza, and he gets fatally wounded for it. However, putting him in stasis keeps away the only person who could call Corso’s inevitable bluff to get back on the crew. If I had to guess, I’d say that Corso is about to become a villain for the crew and the only one who could prove that he isn’t One is sleeping away his injuries.

RIP One. I can’t say I’m all that sad to see you go, but I am interested in watching how your death affects the other characters on Dark Matter, especially Three. Even more, I’m over-the-moon excited to see Marc Bendavid play more Jace Corso, whatever that might mean for crew of the Raza.

Just keep my baby Five safe, OK? (And I’m really digging newcomer Nyx, so keep her safe too, kthxbai.)

Dark Matter airs Fridays on Syfy at 10pm EST.

‘Killjoys’ Recap: The Great Wall of Westerly

Nicole C

July 8, 2016

Killjoys Season 2,
Episode 2: “Wild, Wild, Westerly”
Air Date: July 8, 2016

In this week’s Killjoys we find out Old Town’s current state, Alvis and Pawter’s status, D’Avin rejoins the team officially, and Pree reclaims his domain.

First thing’s first, Team Awesome Force heads to the RAC to request D’Avin (Luke Macfarlane) be added back onto the team roster when a certain familiar person (who was stabbed last season) greets them. Turin (Patrick Garrow) ends up getting body slammed onto the table as the trio suspects that the only way he survived Khlyen’s (Rob Stewart) blade was by becoming a level 6 himself. But they see that he’s still a bleeder too and ease up. The senior RAC agent claims that Khlyen and his men left and that their organization is clean again but I highly doubt that. Whoever the level 6 agents are working for they don’t seem the type to just pack up and leave when they’ve invested so much in the RAC.

Turin doesn’t believe Dutch (Hannah John-Kamen) when she says that she doesn’t working for Khlyen of course. Still they ask for D’Av to added back to their group officially and the other man says sure why not. The trio then ask for a warrant into Old Town because they need to get a friend out, but it looks like there’s only one active warrant and it’s not a pretty one. Turin eventually gives in to what they want and tells them to get out of his house. Considering everything that happened between him and Team Awesome Force, it’s surprising there wasn’t more interrogating and that he gave in so easily.

Before entering into Old Town, they are met with the containment wall and are scanned for their identities. We finally get a good look at Pree’s (Thom Allison) warlord headshot, which features the man with fancy blond locks and his full name (it’s Prima Dezz). As alarms go off because of the barkeep’s status, they are all laser stunned before being able to get back inside Lucy (Tamsen McDonough). The four wake up hanging by their arms inside a spa-like facility called Spring Hill, a bio dome the Company set up outside of Old Town. Their host is Officer Liam Jelco (Pascal Langdale), the man who put up their warrant. Jelco informs them that one of the Company’s ships was recently shot down and crashed in Westhole Prison. Their warrant is to get the 8 prisoners that escaped the blue unit within the prison (where the Company holds their most dangerous political prisoners). However their top priority is a man named Tarren Tighmon who had once been the head of the minors’ union before he gunned down the Company’s reps.

Old Town has gone from bad to worse. Before the bombing it was already struggling and run down, but now poverty is rampant and people are barely surviving. Pree quickly hears music being played and they discover that it’s coming from The Royale. A douche looking man has taken over and so Dutch decides to fight him while D’Avin goes upstairs in hopes of finding Pawter and Johnny (Aaron Ashmore) works on scanning the room for facial recognition of their targets. Naturally she manages to kick the guy’s ass and the younger Jaqobis brother finds one of their marks. Unfortunately said mark kills himself, refusing to reveal Tighmon’s location (but he does reveal that the other 7 are holed up inside the prison). D’Av also returns and says that Pawter isn’t there. Pree then volunteers to find Pawter (Sarah Power) and Alvis (Morgan Kelly) so they can go handle their warrant.

The threesome head to the prison where it is decrepit and seemingly abandoned. They can’t help but wonder what happened there upon seeing mummified bodies inside the cells. Soon a thoroughly relieved Company guard greets them with hugs since he’s been hiding for his life since the outbreak. The killjoys discover that Tighmon took all the weapons as well as a spare tank of deadly gas that was responsible for the mummies. They report back to the Company officer who tells them to do their jobs and kill the former miner.

Team Awesome Force get word of Pawter’s location and seek her out for help with their mummy situation. The doctor fills them in on how bad it’s been since the bombing as they’ve run out of medical supplies and the injured only continue to grow. She examines the body and determines that the chemical basically forced rapid dehydration and the only way to survive it would have been to drink a whole lake. If they wanted a second opinion though they could ask a Company officer. Hills! Hills Oonan is still alive and has been hiding out with Pawter since everyone wants to kill him. He confirms the Qreshi’s assessment and also says that Tighmon and Alvis go way back.

Next step is to find Alvis, which they do in an alleyway where he is beating up a local (who decided to throw the first punch). Dutch asks what that was all about and the scarback explains that he’s been trying to help Pawter get medication for patients in whatever way he can (his victim had some meds). It seems that he’s is in a dark place right now since the Company has been spreading lies that he was to blame for the bombing in hopes that the people of Old Town would kill him for them. But Alvis never lets Dutch down and he is able to take them to Tighmon for a meeting.

The scarback and former assassin are allowed in but the Jaqobis brothers are forced to remain outside. The miners’ defacto leader want his people’s families to be allowed out of Old Town and in exchange they can have him and the gas. Dutch tries to explain that she doesn’t speak for the Company and she’s only here to serve her warrant but the man doesn’t care because somebody has to speak for them. Suddenly Tighmon is shot from behind by a drone and the place erupts into chaos. Cleverly, the Company put trackers on the killjoys so that they could kill the rebellious upstart. Dutch and Alvis make their getaway (with the gas in tow) then meet up with D’Av and Johnny outside.

Dutch confronts Jelco on her communicator and demands to be let out because their warrant is complete but he still wants the gas. Calling her bluff, he announces to the citizens of Old Town that anyone who delivers to him the killjoys will have a ticket out of there and will be able to resettle in Leith. As they are now being hunted themselves, Team Awesome Force head into The Royale where Pree ushers them down the secret tunnel (same one they used to get out Old Town last season). Johnny is to get Hills and Pawter then meet them down there, but the duo have gone to Spring Hill themselves.

Hills decides to turn himself in with hope that Pawter’s mom can bail him out if the situation got bad. He agrees with Johnny that she should reach out to her family to get the 9 involved in saving Old Town. Jelco though greets the Qreshi doctor warmly and seems to view her as some kind of prize animal to keep in his pretty cage. Pawter demands a private call with her mother and a ship to Qresh but is outright refused. He tells her that Hills should have told her about the bombing on the other planet and so he is protecting her via confinement. Then he shoots the older man point blank and says that they’ll take good care of her. I can’t believe Hills went out like that, so sudden and unexpected. RIP.

Alvis leads D’Av and Dutch through the tunnels to a section where the sewage and air filtration system of Spring Hill lay. But the scarback decides to lock himself inside that room in order to release the deadly gas and kill everyone in the biodome. Dutch pleads for him not to do this because he isn’t a mass murderer yet it falls unto deaf ears. Johnny arrives at the last second though and says that Pawter and Hills are upstairs trying to convince the 9 to help Old Town, which changes Alvis’ mind. Unfortunately its too late and his only option is to physically yank the tank out out before the deadly fumes can flow up and as a result he breathes it in. The transformation is crazy fast and big kudos to the vfx team. Johnny is able to unlock the door and D’Av goes inside the room thanks to the mask from the Westhole guard. He tackles Alvis into a vat full of water and semi-drowns him so that the scarback is forced to drink. Once the air is clear Dutch comes inside as well and helps D’Av keep Alvis down. While the monk’s face looks normal, he isn’t breathing and so Johnny and Dutch perform CPR and that thankfully works.

Back in Spring Hill, the killjoys deliver the gas and learn that the Company is still there mainly to make an example of Old Town because their rebels attacked Qresh and made the 9 look weak. This is apparently all about image management because the whole Quad is watching. Jelco plans to make the locals miss the good old days when they had food, water, and honest work so that they’ll tell anyone thinking about rebelling that they need the Company and that the Company is good. When that happens, that will be the day he takes down his wall. EVIIIIIIL. Johnny says that they aren’t leaving without Hills and Pawter. Jelco says that Oonan has a headache and that they can say goodbye to Seyah Sims.

A dolled up Pawter enters and explains that she’s a guest of the Company now and that’s a good thing since she can do more from in here. Without warning Johnny kisses her with a surprised D’Av and Dutch watching. I am totally feeling their chemistry. He bids her to stay safe and the three killjoys depart. Cleverly, he planted a com on her neck while they locked lips so that if she ever needed him he’d be there.

At The Royale, Pree shows his own badass side as he stabs the temporary occupier of his place on the hand. This guy can’t seem to learn anything though since he’s already had his ass kicked by both Dutch and Pawter but decides he wants more anyways. It’s great though to see the barkeep back in his domain because the people of Old Town definitely need some joy and hope in their lives. Somehow The Royale has power and alcohol still available (how was it not fully looted is a miracle). In a good mood, Pree extends happy hour all night long.

Back on Lucy, Dutch asks Alvis to make things up to her by coming with them to Arkyn although he claims that there haven’t been any scarbacks there in 200 years. She says that she’s looking for the truth because there’s something brewing in the Quad and she believes it started there. All of a sudden the ship is being pulled back to Westerly and the team is unable to manually override Lucy, plus she won’t talk to them. D’Av thinks that Khlyen is behind it but surprise it’s Turin!

The senior RAC agent explains that he had to bring them somewhere safe to chat and that he lied about the RAC being clean. It’s been entirely compromised by the level 6 program and he doesn’t know what their purpose is. He also tells them that Red 17 has been cleansed with Khlyen’s people bombing the crap out of it after they left. He offers a kind of truce where in he’ll give them leads that he’s found but can’t pursue since he’s being watched. Looks like they’ve got to play nice since the enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that.

This episode took us back into Old Town where we saw the aftermath of last season’s catastrophic bombing and saw the depths of the Company’s cruelty. Jelco as a new evil player in town is interesting as his presence there can’t merely just be about damage control. There’s got to be something more going on that we just don’t know about yet, maybe involving the sinister tank of gas! Turin’s surprise return was welcomed as he may prove to become an ally to Dutch and the boys considering his relentless pursuit of Khlyen, although there is a high chance that this will also get him killed. How did the RAC explain his injury anyways, accidental self-inflicted stab? Also this whole thing on Akryn with Dutch, Khlyen, D’Av and the scarbacks is intriguing.

Hopefully next week we’ll see what happened to Khlyen and Fancy as they make their way “home” wherever that is.

Killjoys airs Fridays on Syfy at 9/8 central.

Images courtesy of Syfy.

‘Dead of Summer’ Review: “Barney Rubble Eyes”

Alyssa Berkowitz

July 7, 2016

Dead of Summer
Season 1 Episode 2: “Barney Rubble Eyes”
Tuesday, July 5, 2016

I left this episode of Dead of Summer, “Barney Rubble Eyes”, slightly less confused and slightly more intrigued than I did in the premiere. The operative word here being slightly.

“Barney Rubble Eyes” starts off with Alex, or should I say Alexi, at a piano. (Are all episode of Dead of Summer going to begin with a dude playing piano?). Alexi moved to America from the Soviet Union in the 1970’s with his parents. Before leaving Alexi’s creepy grandfather, who they had to leave behind, gives him some words of advice “You want something, you take it.”

When they get to America Alexi’s father got a job at a dry cleaning business. His boss hates Commies and won’t stop telling people about achieving the American Dream via his dry cleaning store. He also tells Alexi to change his name to something ‘American.’ And this, ladies and gentlemen, is the how Alexi became Alex, the blackmailing, dry clean stealing, preppy boy wannabe sociopath.

Fast-forward to 1989 and the campers are arriving for their first day of camp at Camp Stillwater. I am pretty sure this is the entire camp right here.

The Stillwater Eight are hard at work getting their campers acclimated by doing group bonding activities and icebreakers. Pshhh, who are we kidding, this is Camp Stillwater, no one actually cares about the campers. About fifteen minutes after the kids arrives Alex leaves Blotter alone with his campers to go hit on Amy. His game consists of talking shit about one of his campers and accusing Amy of being a ‘Comi Sympathizer.” Smooth bro. Smooth. While all of this is happening Blotter is buying drugs from a sketchy tall man in the woods. Two main things to point out here:

Blotter, you had three days where you were literally doing nothing and there were no campers. Why did you pick the first day campers arrive to do this drug deal?
Alex and Blotter are the only counselors for their bunk. Who the fuck is with the campers?

That night, when the campers are asleep, the counselors head outside for guard duty. And by guard duty I mean, dicking around outside continuing not to pay any attention to their campers. This is highlighted by the fact that one of Blotter and Alex’s campers, Anton, goes missing. When Alex finds Anton manically drawing a picture of rocks and a tall man in the arts and farts cabin he relays a message from the tall man “Find him or someone will die.”

Deb finds out about Anton being out alone after lights out and loses her shit. She tells the boys that if anything else happens, someone will be fired. Blotter and Alex hear what Deb says and decide to take her advice by 1) Blotter planning a raid of the Cricket’s bunk after lights out and 2) Alex taking Amy to a creepy cabin that night to try and get in her pants, leaving Blotter alone with their eight campers. ::eye rolling so hard over here::

So Blotter brings his campers on a raid, and to our surprise, Anton wanders off again (said no one ever). Drew, Blair, Blotter, Jessie AND Cricket are all in Cricket’s bunk during the raid. We know Amy and Cricket are co-counselors but is Jessie their co-counselor too? Is there only one girls group? Is Jessie the sole counselor of another bunk and she left them alone? I DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW THIS CAMP WORKS! Anyway Blotter eventually realizes Anton is missing and he and Alex frantically start searching for him.

While the other counselors are doing juvenile things such as raids and talking about D and D, Joel is sulking on the steps of his cabin watching the footage of Deb in the window on his camcorder. She sits down, and they start having some weird sexy talk about secrets but are cockblocked by Blotter and Alex trying to find their lost Russian camper.

Once they find Anton, Deb informs the two boys that someone is going to get fired. And then in the douchiest of douchebag moves, Alex drugs Blotter by putting acid in his baby bottle to make sure he takes the fall. Blotter has a super crazy trip and bugs out. He heads to the rock formation where they previously found Anton and unearths a skeleton. When he brings Deb and Alex back to the scene of the crime though, the skeleton is gone. Also, Deb notices Blotter is tripping balls so she fires him.

The best scene of episode lasted maybe one minute, but it was awesome. Drew comes to talk to Blair who is sitting alone in an empty cabin. When he sits in front of Blair he does a seductive “come hither” gesture with his finger, and Blair moves in ready for to go in for the kiss.

Instead Drew slowly puts his headphones on Blair’s head. He leaves them on for only a few seconds, seductively removes them, and tells Blair to say goodbye to Blotter for him. This show needs more Drew in it, and A LOT less of Alex.

As of now here is the love triangle rundown: Alex wants to get into Amy’s pants. Cricket is in love with Alex. Blotter is in love with Cricket. Garrett has been getting flirty with Amy. Jessie is in love with Garrett. Amy just wants to go with the flow. Maybe I should just draw a diagram.

So after drawing that I realized it is more like a love pyramid with Amy at the top, and Drew/Blair and Deb/Joel safely on the outskirts.

The next morning Blotter says goodbye to the rest of the gang. Instead of saying goodbye to Alex though, Blotter rips him a new one by telling Amy how shitty of a person Alex really is. It’s pretty awesome. Now Amy hates Alex, opening a window for Cricket. How Cricket could still be into Alex after this is beyond me, but who am I to question young lust and love.

And then there were seven. As Blotter leaves camp with his head hung low, he sees the tall man. Also, it is revealed that the dealer who sold drugs to Blotter stole those human remains that Blotter dug up.

I think moving forward, if I am going to keep my sanity while watching this show, I really need to take my camp counselor glasses off, and view this not as a camp show. But that isn’t my main issue with this show. The main problem with Dead of Summer is I don’t really care about the show’s mystery. I don’t understand why Anton was the center of the mysticism this week and not a character we know. I am baffled by Anton’s character. It makes sense to have Anton’s character around to highlight aspects of Alex’s story this week. But Anton is also seeing dead people. Like what is the point of this kid? Maybe, in the long run, it will make sense, but this is a new show. There must be a balance between getting me on board for the ride and laying down the building blocks for later on. I mean the most intriguing thing that happened in terms of the mystery is the drug dealer stealing the human remains and that was literally the last scene of the episode.

Other things:

The guard scene was my favorite scene of the episode, mostly/entirely because “Trouble Me” by 10,000 Maniacs was playing in the background. I think that says a lot about this show. Also, I just love Natalie Merchant.
They said that Blotter and Alex are counselors for cabin ten. Did they just use a random number generator when numbering the cabins or does this mean there are actually ten bunks? Where are these other bunks? Where are their counselors? Where are their campers?
Dude, Joel and that camcorder are driving me crazy. It is only the second episode and I already want to grab that thing out of Joel’s hands and smash it into a million pieces. Dude, live in the moment!
Blotter and Alex made a bet for fifty dollars about who would be the first to hook up with their respective crushes. Besides being a gross bet, 50 bucks is a lot of money for a bunch of teens in 1989. I found an online inflation calculator and that would be nearly $100 today. Just saying.
Who is this guy? Do we think it’s another counselor?!? Are there actually more than eight of them?!?! Or do we think he is just a really tall camper?

‘Scream’ review: Truth & Consequences

Matt Perri

July 7, 2016

SCREAM
Season 2, Episode 6
“Jeepers Creepers”
Airdate: July 5, 2016
GRADE: B-

Anybody who’s been reading my reviews for MTV’s Scream knows that I consistently give this show a very hard time. Last week, we got a bunch of students locked inside a high school, pitting various students against one another. It was passable. The week before, it was a bunch of high school students drinking a drugged bottle of Tequila (with extra Anejo!) and barfing up their major organs all over Emma’s house (I’m still wondering how Emma managed to clean that all up before her Mom got home) before tripping balls and having Cinemax fever dreams that ultimately added up to nothing even remotely symbolic or meaningful. A couple weeks before that, we saw Emma’s long, lost Dad stalk her, nearly run over with his car — and then confessing that he’s her father. This show has been deserving of my scorn. But, this week…this week is just a touch different. This week, Scream manages to get most things right and also moves things along quite nicely despite suffering from the same frustrating, nonsensical plotting that sticks to this show like a deer tick.

It’s been a week since Noah opined that we had run past “Act One” and had gone into the second act where things began to pick up and move. I remarked that Noah’s words may have been prophetic in that all the chess pieces had been placed on the board and were about to begin their dance across a tumultuous (and bloody) chess board which, I hoped, was good news for all of us who have been patiently waiting for this series to show us what it’s been promising fans for weeks. And what a nice series of opening moves we saw…last week, Noah finally clued into the fact that his best friend Audrey wasn’t exactly acting normal or with the best intentions, what with having driven the entire friggin’ school into kicking the living bejeezus out ‘Stavo (The Magnificent! *Flamenco Guitar Hit*) over his bloody drawings of the Lakewood ~~Six~~ Five. Admittedly, this week’s action doesn’t begin well, throwing a cheesy Noah monologue at us. During the montage, various Lakewood Sixers are shown doing things like murdering their bed linens (Brooke) and kickboxing in their bedroom (Audrey — who not only suddenly knows how to kickbox, she also has a six-foot kickboxing bag to beat up) and Noah warns the audience that nothing’s normal when the ones you love are suspects. The final shot we see is Noah’s Board of Suspects…with Audrey dead-center as the main suspect.

Emma’s not so convinced. In fact, that’s what she spends most of the episode telling other characters. A good one-third of everything she says is, “No, it’s not [name of suspect],” or “Please don’t do [name of action],” before lambasting them and telling them they better be smarter because she knows The Killer and this is “just one of their games!” And the entire time, you’re like, “You just got to this party, lady! Don’t try to tell us which beer we should drink!” It’s one of the most irritating things about this episode. Everything involving Emma is, which costs the episode a great deal. The showrunners have already spent an inordinate amount of time forsaking her by making her a boring supporting character only to try to mix her back in by force and the result is underwhelming.

Thankfully, the entire episode hinges on better, more interesting characters.

Brooke’s tired of your shit and she isn’t taking it anymore. After getting off to a suspect start by stabbing her bed sheets, Brooke consults with ‘Stavo regarding Jake’s murder. She needs his help finding her ex-boyfriend’s killer because, since ‘Stavo is the son of the Sheriff, he has “access to the police archives.” Yes, please look after your suspension of disbelief. It’s probably gonna be murdered after the next few sentences. ‘Stavo manages to raid the archives and finds out that the Lakewood Police suspect a lot of people — including Seth Branson. But he didn’t do it, says ‘Stavo. He had an alibi. He was screwing the Lakewood High psychologist, Miss Lang…so, yeah. There’s a sudden love affair For the Convenience of the Plot.

“I shouldn’t get involved,” Brooke says with a hint of jealousy in her voice.

“Screw that,” says ‘Stavo. “Take no prisoners!”

Armed with her newfound Girl Power, Brooke swings for the fences: first, she meets with Miss Lang under the pretense that she needs to talk about her grief and depression in the wake of Jake’s death. Of course, her “tearful confession” is carefully designed to push Miss Lang away from Seth Branson completely by admitting that she slept with her former teacher in a fit of desperation. The entire sequence is darkly humorous, with a lethal combination of crocodile tears and a Lakewood Theater marquee in the background, which advertises the famed then-taboo PG-Disney film, “Something Wicked This Way Comes”. Secondly, she meets with Branson, promising a sexual hook-up — but, instead, delivers a Catherine Trammel-inspired interrogation wherein she questions her former beau after tying him up and holding him at scissor-point. It’s nice to finally see a Brooke who isn’t a mindless drone and who truly kicks ass. Atta girl. It’s here we see Branson confess that Jake was paying Branson to keep him away from Brooke. “$10,000 dollars!” Seth says when Brooke presses him on how much she’s worth. Yes, you read that right: Jake was paying a guy his own girlfriend rejected $10,000 dollars to stay away from his girlfriend. Try not to question it. In fact, don’t even think about it. You’ll get a headache, believe me.

Meanwhile, Noah’s got his suspicions — but is all done with Audrey’s phone which he boosted last episode. So he does a reverse pick-pocket move after tailing her in a painfully forced sequence involving a bicycle Noah “really likes.” Nobody believes this. Not Audrey, not the audience, not anyone. And, ultimately, it doesn’t matter anyway. When Audrey finds her phone in her backpack again, she’s immediately ready to pounce and immediately suspects that Noah had her phone the entire time. Her problem, however, is the same as Noah’s: uncertainty in her target. This leads us to the heart of the episode: Noah being tricked by “The Killer” into meeting the long-dead “Eddie Krueger” at the nearby “fairgrounds”. At night. All alone. “He moonlights there as a security guard,” Noah explains to Emma. Really? Last time we saw Eddie, he was dead and stuffed into the Lakewood Motel bathroom tub. In fact, he’s still there. Does the show bother to explain how Eddie has managed to remain “missing” all this time? Doesn’t the place have any other management taking care of the rooms? Was Eddie the only employee there? Are the hotel clients running the place now? I mean, how has nobody managed to find out that there’s a room with a dead guy in it?

In any case, Noah stupidly goes to the fairgrounds alone and ends up abducted by The Killer because who didn’t see that coming? Anybody? Am I alone here? It’s even weirder when you consider that Noah’s an encyclopedia of knowledge when it comes to horror movie tropes and points them out like film nerd Tourettes. So why does he lose his filmic superpowers when he needs to wander into a dark, creepy property with nobody around? Noah ends up paying a very dear price, getting kidnapped by The Killer and placed into an attraction ride car. But, wait! He’s not alone — Audrey’s with him, having also been kidnapped. There goes the “Audrey is the Killer” theory, right? Not quite. After Noah begins to come to terms with the fact that these may be his final moments, he goes into a seemingly-silly and lighthearted confessional about hating his cat, wishing he could have learned to play an instrument and lying to the late Riley about his favorite film. “My favorite movie is actually Psycho, but you can’t exactly tell a woman that on the first date,” he says, attempting to find humor in the situation. Audrey rides out Noah’s guilt-ridden rant — until Noah brings up the time he and Audrey kissed, much to Audrey’s chagrin. Noah’s pain is evident in every word he pushes across to her and he can only nod as Audrey tells Noah that she does love him — but not “that way”. It’s not what Noah wanted to hear but it’s what was needed to be heard. It’s also the most honest and heartfelt the series has ever been and may seem to be more than what this series deserves…but it’s refreshing to see and also serves to move these two past the awkward state they were in and back together where they belong.

The only problem is that it’s anti-climatic and more nonsensical: Audrey is the one who kidnapped Noah and she confesses this to him while begging Noah not to tell Emma (who’s right outside) about anything that’s happened. Also, Emma has attracted the killer like a fly to shit — but nothing comes of it except that there’s a brief game of hide-and-seek between the two — and then Keiran suddenly shows up so MTV’s teen audience can all think he’s probably the killer, too. But thanks for the confessional. That was nice. The episode does end incredibly: first, we get Audrey opening up to Noah that she was the one who invited Piper to Lakewood — but not because she wanted to start a murder spree. She wanted to shoot a documentary about Brandon James. She says she feels guilty for what Piper became and asks Noah to hide everything he found on her phone from Emma…and the camera cleverly slides to the left so we can see that Noah’s been recording the entire conversation. Very good. Would have LOVED it if we heard Noah agreeing and seeing his voice recorded as well, but I take what I can get. The other half deals with Seth Branson being discovered by the killer. The scene is incredibly gruesome, even for somebody as deserving as Branson might be. But it works because the pain looks so palpable: the Killer takes their time doing what they do to him and, by the time it’s all over, your jaw is on the floor, something the series has failed to induce in its audience. It also legitimately adds Miss Lang to the suspect list because it’s not a murder. What happens to Branson feels like the wrath of a woman scorned and that opens up some interesting doors concerning Emma and her mental state and what role Lang plays in that regard.

I really liked this episode. While I’m not holding my breath for a positive future for this series, “Jeepers Creepers” proves that the show has potential to be good — or at least finish strong.

Ranking Our Top 10 Favorite Moments from ‘Game of Thrones’ Season Six

Jen Stayrook

July 6, 2016

It goes without saying that because I’m ranking the best moments of season six of Game of Thrones that there will be spoilers.

Game of Thrones’ sixth season has probably been its most exciting season to date. Of course, that’s what we say at the end of every Game of Thrones season. We’re so fickle during the season but once it ends we cannot help but sing from the rooftops about how much we love this ridiculous show. It’s been over a week since the Game of Thrones season ended and I’m still suffering through withdrawal. I’ve only watched the finale about a dozen times so to sate my obsession, I decided the best course of action was a top 10 list compiling my favorite moments from the season. You may notice that some big scenes are missing and that’s because this is an entirely biased list and while explosions and battles are awesome, I relish the smaller moments.

Fight me.

10. Tower of Joy

This scene will prove to be more important in future episodes than it really is right now. Sure, it’s nice for viewers to know the truth about Jon Snow’s parents, but it’s simply setting up for the mind fuck that is going to be Jon learning the truth about his family. I’m sure it will also come into play when the North learns that Jon isn’t the bastard son of Ned Stark, but instead the son of a Targaryen.

9. Dorne-less

Look, everyone hated Dorne last season and for Game of Thrones to start off the season with Doran Martell and his son both biting the big snake, well, I was worried we’d have to suffer through more of the ridiculous Sand Snakes plots. Thankfully, they only appeared in the first and last episodes, so that is cause for celebration.

To improve their plot they’ve teamed up with the always insulting Olenna Tyrell who then both support Dany’s Journey to the West-eros, which makes them infinitely more interesting in my book. It doesn’t excuse last season’s behavior, but their (thankfully) few minutes of screen time were used wisely.

8. Brienne saves her girl

I’ve mentioned several times throughout the season that Game of Thrones tends to be a bit sparse on the whole “hope” thing, so when Brienne arrived to save Sansa and Theon, I nearly peed my pants. Brienne is a knight who has been trying her entire life to prove she is loyal, honorable, and trustworthy, and the narrative has spit in her face every step of the way. As fans, we see her as so much more than the rest of Westeros who view her as the failed Kingsguard who may or may not have had a hand in killing Renly Baratheon. This moment gave us this group of broken youngsters, Sansa, Theon, Brienne, and Podrick, and we watched them form a group that was a little less broken than before they met.

7. Cersei sits on the Iron Throne

Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Cersei Lannister?

Oh, wait. You can’t. Because you’re dead.

I’ve already professed my immense love for the opening scene of the finale, the slow demise of the Tyrell house and the High Sparrow, and how amazing my boo Cersei is the entire time. I’ve mentioned before that she’s a broken woman, and as terrifying and exciting as that journey has been, it’s even more exhilarating to watch her sit on the Iron Throne with absolutely nothing left to lose.

6. Jon and Sansa Reunited

I was certain, CERTAIN, that Jon and Sansa would somehow miss one another and would be like the rest of the Starks, circling one another but never actually meeting. Then they did meet and my heart exploded into a thousand happy shards. For most of my Game of Thrones obsession, I hated Jon. He was whiny and frustrating and too much like a Stark that I found every plot dull. However, sometime just before Hardhome, as the new Lord Commander, he became infinitely more interesting to me. Then the prospect of him reuniting with Sansa appeared and I couldn’t control my affections. More than anyone else on the show, I want Sansa to be happy. She’s had the worst go of things so if being with Jon (AS HER BROTHER YOU PERVS) makes her happy, well, I’m going to relish in that moment as well. LOOK AT THOSE BABIES. YOU LOOK AT THEM.

5. Arya saves Lady Crane

It would be easy to just include every scene from the final two episodes in this list and call it a day, but that would be doing the season, the build-up to those great moments, a disservice. While Arya has had the most suspect of arcs this season, her interactions with Lady Crane were integral for her character, forcing her to deal with her past and the reality that Cersei, behind all that hatred and paranoia, is just a woman who lost her son. It’s this notion that sparks a change in Arya, that compels her to see beyond black and white (Heh HEH) and recognize that her Faceless Man training is just a distraction from her real mission as Arya fucking Stark of House Winterfell.

4. Hold the Door

I can’t include the actual scene because it’s too heart-breaking. Please enjoy this 8-bit recreation instead. Friends mentioning “hold the door” still elicits an “awwww” out of me and that’s saying something considering I’ve hardened my heart to inevitable loss on Game of Thrones. Looking back, of course Hodor’s background seems so obvious but in the moment, watching it play out for the first time, it was DEVASTATING realizing that this gentle giant lived for one purpose his entire life. Not to mention that in this scene we lost the Three-Eyed Raven, all of the Children of the Forest, and SUMMER, who Bran has neglected to even MOURN, the heartless bastard. Hodor deserved better.

3. Jon’s Revival

At the end of season five, Jon was DEAD dead. Every person involved with Game of Thrones was adamant on that point. Of course, as the obsessive fans that we are, we saw through that shit within the first 15 seconds. Ned Stark and the Red Wedding were anomalies, not true indicator’s of the story at large. Jon’s resurrection wasn’t so much an “if” as a “when.” That being said, the way in which it was done was masterful. Tying back to Thoros’ resurrection of Beric Dondarrion was important. Losing hope was integral to the success of Melisandre’s magic. And just when everything looked as dire as possible, Jon returned to us.

2. Winterfell Reclaimed

“The Battle of the Bastards“, upon second, third, and fourth viewings, is still a thing of beauty. The battle itself was gruesome and gritty but the reward was more than satisfying. For once in the Game of Thrones universe good triumphed over evil. It was ugly and it was rough-going at times, but this is what we need to stay invested in a show as depressing as Thrones. At some point the darkness becomes too much and when the villain always wins, why even bother? “Battle of the Bastards” gave us that hope again, especially when the Stark banners flew over Winterfell once more.

1. Dany sails for Westeros

I debated this entry for a long time and while the “Battle of the Bastards” and Jon’s revival were both incredibly important moments in the show, I have been waiting for Dany to leave Essos for far too long for it to not be my number one moment. There’s something so exhilarating about watching a fleet of ships with the Targaryen sigil sail west. And to have Tyrion, Varys, and the Greyjoy kids at her side only makes me more excited for the moment when she lands. (Presumably in Dorne.) I’ve already talked at length how much I love Dany and how I think she’s a great leader (made better by her relationship with Tyrion), so I won’t go into my affections here, but damn, how can you not cheer for her to succeed?

Agree or disagree with my assessment? Argue with me in the comments!

Game of Thrones will be back for seasons seven and eight, with around 15 episodes left to air. 🙁

The Workprint Gamescast Episode 31: What Makes Good Video Game DLC?

Jen Stayrook

July 6, 2016

What’s up, guys and gals! Welcome to the Workprint Gamescast!

Listen to Rob, Jen, Bilal, and the gang talk about the latest in video games news, what they’re playing, and all other manner of nerdy habits.

THIS WEEK ON THE GAMESCAST: Another episode for your listening pleasure as Rob and Jen discuss their 4th of July, what they’ve been playing and how Red Dead Redemption is overrated (according to Rob, send him the hate mail). For Topic of the Week, Jen wants to talk about what makes for worthwhile DLC!

What’s up: 00:39

What we’ve been playing: 8:12

Rob hates Red Dead Redemption and other Gaming headlines: 30:37

What makes good DLC discussion: 38:50

Follow the Gamescast hosts on Twitter!

Rob: @Sunnyvice20
Jen: @JenStayrook
Bilal: @Bilal_Mian

Want to watch our shenanigans live? Check out the Workprint Twitch channel.

‘Killjoys’ Season 2 Premiere Takes Us Inside Red 17

Nicole C

July 1, 2016

Killjoys
Season 2, Episode 1: “Dutch and the Real Girl”
Air Date: July 1, 2016

In the Killjoys season 2 premiere, D’Avin is still trapped inside the Red 17 facility on Arkyn with Dutch and Johnny desperately trying to find him. Do they make it in time to save him before he is transformed into the mythical level 6 RAC agent? Read on to find out:

D’AVIN

D’Avin (Luke MacFarlane) is still inside Red 17 where he is being prepped to transition into a level 6 RAC agent. What does that entail exactly you may ask? He’s being pumped with some weird green liquid that makes him hallucinate and have lusty fantasies (involving Dutch). At the beginning of the episode, D’Av is dreaming that he has been reunited with his compatriots and they are storming Red 17 to find Khlyen (Rob Stewart). He also sees Fancy (Sean Baek) in this sequence and the other killjoy aids them in shooting the Red 17 guards. To D’Avin this all seems very real but little things nag at him like why he doesn’t trust Fancy and how did Dutch (Hannah John-Kamen) and Johnny (Aaron Ashmore) actually find him. The scene ends with him saying screw it and passionately kissing the level 5 killjoy as Johnny and Fancy try to break through a door to where Khlyen is supposedly is. However, we find out that he’s actually asleep this whole time and the scientists at Red 17 give him another dose of the mysterious green substance that seems to be everywhere on Arkyn.

DUTCH AND JOHNNY

Meanwhile the other two members of Team Awesome Force are on the ship trying to land onto Arkyn, but the planet has a hardcore barrier in the form of beta radiation that is preventing them from doing so. We do find out that Khlyen has had D’Avin there for five days. Dutch decides to go for it regardless of the risk and plunges Lucy (voicecd by Tamsen McDonough) into the barrier, environmental toxins be damned. At the last second, the ship’s emergency overrides kick in and they abort the mission before any permanent damage can be made.

They head to the Leith Bazar and seek help from Bellus (Nora Mclellan) to get more information on the Connaver Gang (apparently they made it in and out of Arkyn alive). The warrant broker tells them that the gang had made ship piracy into a science while continuously evading The Company’s grasp by hiding out in Arkyn when it got to hot. No one knows how these thieves are doing it but the RAC guesses that they stole something that protects their ship. Dutch and Johnny want in on any warrant for that tech and Bellus says that the rumor is the Connavers left it as collateral before their last jump at a place called Eulogy.

Eulogy happens to be a barter town/outlaw casino with two requirements for entry: you have to be a known criminal and you have to bring in something worth gambling. Johnny can take care of the goods but asks how long it would take to create covers. Bellus laughs and says why bother with fakes when they’ve got the genuine article right in front of them. Who could that be? Pree (Thom Allison) of course.

Pree, who had stayed with Dutch and Johnny after fleeing Old Town turns out to be a warlord. That’s right!! Who would have guessed that the barkeep had a scandalous secret past.

Through him they are able to get into Eulogy with Pree vouching for Johnny while Dutch hides inside the case with their goods. Inside, the boys proceed to gamble and Johnny manages to insert a chip that gives Lucy access to Eulogy’s systems. Through that she is able to cut the power off for awhile so that Dutch can get out of the case and start looking for the Connaver’s tech. She finds it but surprise it’s a mod, aka a human who was modified/enhanced so that he/she became part machine. Clara is a badass bionic woman who has a wicked weaponized arm named Alice and the shield device implanted in her.

The two women take out the angry baddies (though Clara gets shot in the mayhem) and meet up with Johnny and Pree. They all head to the roof where Lucy picks them up and then hightailing out of there. Once she regains consciousness, Clara agrees to use the shield to allow Dutch and Johnny land on Arkyn to find D’Av but there’s a small catch, essentially she absorbs the radiation into her body and using it is slowly killing her. Still, Dutch feels like a kindred soul to her and is still determined to do this as payback for getting her out of Eulogy.

ARKYN

Meanwhile back at Arkyn, D’Avin is having another hallucination/dream where he is outside Red 17. He sees a man similarly dressed at him saying that they were gonna kill him and that it’s starting. Now what could that possibly mean? Moments later though, men with dogs come and take the unknown male away, completely ignoring D’Av. On the ground he sees the mysterious green substance. The scene shifts to a massive fight where soldiers (wearing white like him) are killing scarbacks and then Khlyen is there, who sees him as well. The level 6 killjoy says, “You’re not supposed to see this yet. How are you here?”

D’Av wakes up near submerged in the green goo and pissed off as hell. He screams enough and somehow manages to mentally push the liquid out of the containment unit. The scientists monitoring on the other side are bewildered and have no idea how their subject did that. It seems that D’Avin was able to come out of whatever strange treatment he was being administered on his own.

The real Khlyen shows up and talks to the scientists who explain that the elder Jaqobis brother is immune to their process. When one of the Red 17 minions attempts to get D’Av up, he kicks him to the side and pulls out massive needle from behind his neck then stabs Khlyen in the hand. But interestingly the wound on the older man’s hand doesn’t heal the way it normally would. Is there something going on with D’Avin’s blood that is counteracting the special healing that level 6 agents have? Khlyen looks like he’s about to kill him but instead shoots all the other Red 17 staffers.

Dutch’s former tutor decides to save D’Av’s life and even helps him escape from the facility. He explains how he has 15 minutes to cover their tracks. As they walk through the halls, Khlyen goes into a little more detail that he had brought D’Avin here to convert him into a level 6 that’s loyal to him but will watch out for Dutch. But since the conversion didn’t work he wants to understand why. The older man says that he brought D’Av here it’s because Dutch trusts him. The two enter a room where Khlyen connects with the Nexus and removes all traces of the young killjoy from the facility.

D’Av notices a symbol on the floor and says that he saw that in his dream. But wait, it wasn’t a dream! Khlyen informs him that it was a very old memory that’s part of the conversion. But as another Red 17 goon comes in and D’Avin manages to shoot him, an alarm goes off saying Protocol 8 has been enacted. The elder man says that time has run out because the Black Root is there. He then pushes the killjoy outside and tells him that Dutch is on her way here and that he needs to get her the hell away from Arkyn.

Soon after Dutch and Johnny are inside the facility and see the dead bodies that the two other men left behind in their wake. They also manage to find and free Fancy whom we know from last season’s finale had also been there being converted into level 6.

Khlyen is still in the Nexus room when Black Root operatives arrive. It’s an interesting moment because the men treat the level 6 agent with a lot of reverence, saying that it’s an honor to meet him. Then Khlyen is told that it’s time to go home and is stunned multiple times before being locked inside a cryogenic freezer for transport.

Dutch, Johnny and Fancy reunite with D’Av outside where the elder Jaqobis tells the former assassin that Khlyen is gone, lying to her. As alarms go off, she decides to go with her team. Just as they are all getting onboard, D’Avin asks Fancy if he got placed in that green goop and the other answers that he made it out before then but the elder Jaqobis brother shoots him regardless. Everyone else is shocked but D’Av says wait and with just cause because Fancy’s eyes go black and then he gets up from the ground (very much a level 6 already). So Dutch fires some more to push him off the ship. Ouch, but don’t worry, he ends up stabbing a guard meant to monitor Khlyen as he is being transported home (wherever that is) and stands in his place instead.

WHAT NEXT?

Back on Lucy, Dutch slices D’Av’s hand and they are all relieved when his wound doesn’t magically heal. He’s still a bleeder and wants to have Pawter (Sarah Power) check him thoroughly when he sees that they all wear a tense expression. They fly back to Westerly where D’Av gets to see first hand how Old Town had been bombed and now there is a containment wall all around the city, preventing anyone from getting in or out. They have no idea who even survived. Dutch pronounces that their next mission is to get inside and find the doctor and Alvis (Morgan Kelly).

They head back to Leith first though where Clara prepares to leave their company, though John urges her to stay. She says that she has to because she’s more than 26% modified and that’s illegal in the Quad. The tricky part comes when Dutch asks if this is goodbye and Clara says that she knows they have a warrant for the shield but will they let her go? Grinning, Johnny shrugs that their warrant is for a person or persons who is in possession of the shield and since she doesn’t even count as one under Company rules, it doesn’t apply to her. The two women head to the bazaar where Bellus can smuggle the mod out.

When the three teammates finally have a moment to themselves, D’Av comes clean that he lied to Dutch about Khlyen not being at the facility anymore. Apparently she knew though and she left anyways because they needed her too. Dutch realized that if Khylen had taken him away and turned Fancy into level 6, she and Johnny could be next. D’Avin though goes out on a limb and says that he doesn’t think Khlyen is her enemy because the man had turned on his own men to help him escape. He theorizes that there is a whole other level above 6 that actually runs the RAC and whatever their plan is it scares Dutch’s former tutor. Understandably, she isn’t ready to believe that Khlyen is protecting her from her real enemy given that he murdered her husband. Lastly D’Av claims that she’s also somehow also a part of whatever is going on because he in that weird memory, he also saw her killing a bunch of scarbacks.

Cue scary music! This was a great episode that dove right back into the action and the story of the mystery behind Red 17 and the mythical level 6 RAC agents. In the first season there we saw some of these superhuman killjoys in action but we didn’t know much about them. Now we actually got a glimpse of how they were created which centers around the green liquid that looks like the Nexus is also made out off. Could there be some kind of nano technology in there that implanted certain memories into the level 6 subjects? It would make sense if there were since Khlyen was able to tap into the Nexus just using his fingers.

Also we have a new puzzle to solve with D’Avin’s immunity to the level 6 treatment. It was great to see the three partners together again after everything they went through in season one and now they’ve all go to figure out what is going on within the RAC and the Company.

So good to have you back Killjoys.

Best lines of the episode:

Pree: Let’s give these bitches some stitches!

Clara: I’m driving nerd.

Pree: I’m not wearing my dying underwear today.

Johnny: Still a bleeder not a healer!

Killjoys airs Fridays on Syfy at 9/8 central.

Follow @niixc on Twitter for more.

Images courtesy of Syfy.

‘The Bachelorette’ Review: Buenos Aires Is the Perfect Place to Fall in Love!

Kelley Lynn

June 30, 2016

Well gang, it’s another episode of The Bachelorette. Here we go again.

Our bachelorette JoJo and the gang of now 8 men, are off for a week or two in Buenos Aires. As with every single location on this insipid show, everyone claims within the first 5 seconds that “Buenos Aires is the PERFECT place to fall in love!!!!” Right. Or to fall in fake love with about 5 different men at the same time, choose one of them to get engaged to, and then break it off a few months later in a national television special. Ah, true love. Let us begin with the madness.

JoJo and Host/Head Douchebag Chris Harrison talk outside on a bench about the upcoming week ahead. She worries aloud: “What if I fall in love with two people, just like Ben did?” Harrison has no response, because no canned response was written for him to say in the script. Next, Chris goes to the hotel to speak to the men about the week.

There will be 3 dates this week: a group date/orgy, a one-on-one, and for the first time ever, a second two-on-one. The men become frightened at this and drink more alcohol to prepare. Wells gets the one-on-one date, and he tells the guys that he thinks he is the only one left yet who has not kissed her. They cannot believe this, since JoJo is a giant ho-bag and kisses pretty much everyone.

She has probably kissed the camera men, the key grip, and the guy who does the catering for the show. But not Wells. The men tease him as JoJo picks him up for the date, telling him to wear chapstick and don’t forget the mints. They embarrass the two by asking out loud: “So are you two gonna kiss today?” As they leave for their date, the men all gossip about it like pre-teen girls on their periods. “Oh my god, like, is he gonna kiss her? Do you think he will? Like, oh my god!!!”

WELLS AND JOJO SITTING IN A TREE ……..

JoJo takes Wells and his stupid name to an interactive, performance art show called “Fverza Bruta.” The show involves water, dancing, swimming, art, and body movement. They learn how to get “shot” as part of a performance act. After they finish their first acting scene, Wells wonders if this is the moment to kiss her, but decides on a weird high-five instead. He goes for the high-five, and she ignores him, leaving his hand in mid-air to high-five nothing. Then he tries kissing her on the cheek instead, and he somehow misses her cheek and face entirely, kissing the air around them. AWKWARD!!!!!!!!

Next, they train inside a suspended water pool, swimming around in a sexy and weird manner. He tells cameras that he wants it to be perfect when he kisses her. They slide around in the water, and finally, they share a kiss, and then a few more. She yells emphatically: “That was the moment, Wells!!! We did it!!!” Later, at dinner, nobody eats their meal, and Wells talks about his last relationship at the request of JoJo.

He is sweating in the face profusely. After he tells her his relationship ended because the passion fizzled out, she tells cameras that this was worrisome to her because she does not want that to ever happen. Also worrisome – nobody is eating that delicious food on the table. She tells him that she is looking for that passionate, fairy-tale kind of love. He seems to think that maybe that doesn’t exist. She tells him that he is amazing, but not the person she will spend her life with. Or the person she will spend 3 months with and then break up with. And also, his name is WELLS, so that ain’t helpin’ his cause out any. He does not get the rose. Instead, he gets sent away in the sad limo, where he will be later murdered by Chris Harrison. He tells her as he says goodbye: “Go find what you’re looking for.” Two beautiful dinners sit on their plates.

AND THEN THERE WERE FIVE …….

So the Group Date/Orgy involved JoJo and five men. Those men are Luke, Robby, Jordan, James, and Alex. They go to the LaVoca District and walk and shop. Then they play soccer in the streets. Howdy-Doody James is feeling insecure next to all these men with abs and things, and he only has a tractor and some hay back home. He does, however, score a goal and earns a kiss with JoJo, which he could have gotten anyway just by kissing her. She kisses everyone, even guys named WELLS and guys who specialize in Erectile Dysfunction as a career.

Later on the group date, she takes each guy aside for private time. The dialogue between her and Luke is insanely dumb. HE is insanely dumb. If he and a paper towel competed for best brains, the paper towel would not only win, it wouldn’t even be close. Let’s listen:

Luke: Yeah, like, this is, like, real. Like, organic and natural and like, embrace that … and that’s where I’m at. This is a city. A city, that, like, you like … kinda wanna come back to and be, like, this city, right? That’s what I’m saying.

WTF??? What the hell ARE you saying??? Is that even english??? Was there even one complete sentence in that mess of a declaration of nothing??? No wonder all she wants to do is kiss this guy. He is very attractive, but WOW!!! Talking with words is not his strong suit. She smacks her lips together in that “I’m horny” way, and they make out yet again. They stop for a second, and he breathes really slow and loudly into her mouth, and it’s weird and creepy. She tells cameras: “I’m running out of words to describe the level of passion that is Luke and me.” That’s okay. You’re running out of words, and Luke is running out of brain cells.

Next up is James, who uses his time with her to say some really vague things about Jordan that don’t really make much sense and seem to be more “creating drama where there is none” from this show. Something about how James was showing off during a game of poker in the house, and how he thinks he is famous or wants to be famous, or is on the show to be famous. Then he asks if he can kiss her, and she of course says yes. They kiss. She takes Jordan aside and asks him about the altercation with James. He laughs and says it was no big deal, and that he isn’t entitled like James said he is. He tells cameras that he doesn’t enjoy his integrity being questioned. He goes back into the room with the guys and awkwardness occurs.

James: So how’d it go with her?

Jordan: Oh, just great. How did yours go? Did my name come up at all?

James: Yeah. It did.

(Alex sips his alcoholic beverage dramatically)

Jordan: Did you use the word entitled?

James: I may have.

Jordan: Now how does one-act entitled when explaining the rules of a game such as poker?

James: It was one thing, and we, ya know … whatever.

(WTF does THAT MEAN??? Can these people speak english??? Their sentences never make ANY sense.)

(Alex smiles while sipping his alcohol with his fucked up haircut. )

Jordan: Its pathetic when someone needs to bring up stuff like that.

The mood fizzles, and JoJo enters and gives the Group Date Rose to Luke, on account of his way with words. All the men silently whine and pout that they didn’t get the rose, and life goes on.

THE TWO ON ONE ………..

So JoJo has a two-on-one date with Chase and Derek, who are both equally pointless and boring. They take Tango lessons, and a freakishly long segment occurs with JoJo being pulled back and forth in dance between the two men. It goes on forever, and I just want to scream: WE GET IT!!!! SHE HAS TO CHOOSE ONE OF THEM!!!! But I don’t scream that. I sit silently and suffer, for that is my fate. Her and Derek seem to have more chemistry during the dance, while Chase dances like a robot. The three go to dinner.

Nobody eats their food. She takes Derek aside first. Chase sits there silently not eating his dinner while she is gone. Derek tells her “I’m absolutely falling for you.” Her response is literally: “I appreciate that.” Yup. THAT’S what ya wanna hear when you tell someone you are falling in love with them. That they APPRECIATE that. She might as well have said: “With warmest regards, JoJo.” But of course, she kisses him over and over again anyway, because she loves that kissing stuff.

Next up is Chase, who she is clearly more interested in, even though he has the personality of plywood. Also, his name is CHASE. That’s a bank, not a name. She tells him she thinks he is scared. He says: “I don’t wanna be scared.” he tells her he came here for her and begins to open up. She melts in his arms, and gives him the date rose, sending poor boring Derek home in the sad limo.

She walks Derek out, and they barely speak. He cries and cries in the limo, as he says longingly out the window: “I thought I was enough. But I’m not. Why am I crying?” As he asks this, JoJo and bank-for-a-name dance romantically to a live singing of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina.” Really? The producers MUST have told Derek to mention that he is crying, so they could montage that with the lyrics: “Don’t cry for me.” So stupid and so obvious.

COCKTAIL PARTY AND ROSE CEREMONY …….

During the cocktail party, she takes each dude aside again for more private time. Jordan tells her he is there for her and for the right reasons, and that he wants to get engaged and fall in love with her. She totally believes him and melts in his floppy hairstyle, and kisses him over and over. Then James tells her he is falling for her also, and she kisses him some more. Minutes before the rose ceremony, she does not know who to send home.

JoJo stops in the middle of the rose ceremony, probably because the producers told her “look, this season is super boring. Stop the ceremony now and then. Make it interesting. ” So she steps outside with Chris Harrison and tells him she can’t give out the final rose, she doesn’t want to make a decision. She returns to the room, and after a long dramatic pause, another rose is added to the platter on the table. The last two men without roses are Alex and James. They both breathe a sigh of relief when they see the two roses instead of one. She apologizes for the delay, and tells them “I just couldn’t hand out that final rose tonight.” So everyone stays and nobody goes home, and she feels good that she didn’t make a mistake by sending the wrong person home. Of course, you would think this would make them happy, but Alex starts whining to cameras about how he doesn’t want a “pity rose.” And that is the end of this episode, guys. What a snooze-fest.

NEXT WEEK: JoJo force-kisses Chris Harrison, making the stem on his rose erect. Jordan’s floppy hair runs away for less boring pastures. Luke gets a job writing for Hallmark.

‘Scream’ review: Nobody died this ‘Dawn’

Matt Perri

June 30, 2016

SCREAM
Season 2, Episode 5
“Dawn of the Dead”
Airdate: June 28, 2016
GRADE: C-

Last episode, we finally got the big “Jake is dead and now everyone knows” reveal. This week, we get the aftermath which is comprised of a school lockdown led by the worst police force rejects since Police Academy…which, honestly, is pretty insulting to that esteemed force of justice. More on that a little later.

The crux of the plot deals with Emma somehow ending up with Jake’s phone which causes the Lakewood ~~Six~~ Five to panic, birth live kittens and do stupid shit: since the police are “searching all lockers, Keiran and Noah decide to sneak out of the completely unguarded library so that Keiran can retrieve his gun. Which he suddenly totes around in his shoulder bag at school because that’s not at all stupid or illogical.

Meanwhile, Audrey is suspicious of ‘Stavo because all he seems to do is sit, stare and draw gruesome pictures of the Lakewood Six bleeding all over the place. So she starts a riot by showing her fellow students what ‘Stavo really does with his free time. The entire scene chokes on its own terrible and unintentionally funny dialogue:

AUDREY (to entire room): Look at these pictures! Who would draw stuff like this?!
HALEY: A SERIAL KILLER!!!
ENTIRE ROOM: YEAH!!! (Incoherent Shouting)
RANDOM GUY: That’s SICK! (Tosses a soda at ‘Stavo) That’s GROSS!
‘STAVO: That’s totally not what these pics are about, guys. I can show–.
(Entire room suddenly proceeds to physically kick the living shit out of ‘Stavo.)

As for Emma, she’s finally “evolved” to become a “strong female character”. Do I sound dissatisfied and unconvinced? I am. After getting into a fight with “Haley Myers”, the uninteresting brunette student who (like our other throwaway character, Seth Branson) appears every three episodes when it’s convenient to the plot or the show needs an unbelievably pointless red herring, Emma’s locked in an office by school counselor, Mrs. Lang, because she’s “suffering from trauma” and “has too much adrenaline triggered by a fight-or-flight response” to Haley’s bullying. Is Emma assigned a police detail?

Nope. So, surprise! Ghost McMeltFace shows up to mock her through the office window. Emma ain’t havin’ any of that shit and uses a chair to break the glass. Except the Killer is always Batman and vanishes into thin air even though Emma was looking at The Killer the whole time. The entire scene is topped off by Emma declaring that she isn’t hiding and that she wants to fight. Yay? Look, forgiving the fact that her transformation is so ridiculously forced and silly that it’s like watching a completely different person, there’s literally no reason The Killer should be coming after Emma aside from the fact that she’s the show’s main character and the showrunners just now realized it.

That’s the real crime of this episode. While so much time is wasted on the bullshit mentioned above (I cannot believe I’m about to say this) precious little time is spent showcasing Brooke and her emotional recovery with regard to Jake’s death. Yes, I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why Brooke exists on this show. I’ve called her character completely pointless and said she’s a terrible example of the female gender. This episode finally serves to shut people like me up. Here, we see Brooke broken, glassy-eyed, numb. But she’s grown. It’s never more apparent than when she decides to tell the truth to the police:

SHERIFF ACOSTA: When was the last time you saw Jake?
BROOKE: A week ago in the school swimming pool.
SHERIFF ACOSTA: The school swimming pool?
BROOKE: Yeah. We broke in there so we could have sex.
SHERIFF ACOSTA: You…uh. Ok. Trespassing…bet that was fun.

Yeah, it’s still cringe-worthy, but watching Brooke dump this information on Sheriff Acosta (and her father – awkward!) in her newly-assumed numb, robotic state is nice to see. The superficial idiot that was the old Brooke is gone and in her place is what Emma should be: a damaged girl with a broken shield but stronger for it — all topped off by a beautifully shot scene in the same pool where she and Jake got together. She dips herself into it, submerging herself while fully clothed, as if to baptize herself — and then releases a primal scream that only she can hear. Brooke is truly alive — even though it took the death of her boyfriend to get there.

Ultimately, it’s the rest of the episode that sinks the whole affair. The worst of the worst is the Lakewood Police Department and the way they run the whole affair. As mentioned before, Lakewood’s Finest have put Lakewood High into Lakewood Lockdown until they can get to the bottom of how a killer was able to drag Jake’s body up a flight of stairs into theater rafters and drop him in front of Brooke.

Let’s sing their praises this week:

Nobody is allowed in or out of the school in order to prevent leaks or contamination of evidence. Except the students wander around and are allowed to use portable devices…which would contribute to leaks. Seriously, Haley Myers phones a friend — in front of the police — and tells them everything they’re doing. And they don’t care.
No police actually guard the school library. So Jake and Noah are able to escape the room and wander around until Jake accidentally gets discovered.
Brooke has to be photographed for “evidence purposes”. With her boyfriend’s dead, bleeding body on the theater stage. While still covered in his blood, which is ridiculously unbelievable, unsanitary and unhealthy.
After she’s finally allowed to shower, Brooke needs clean clothes. The cops provide her with a cheerleader outfit they “found”.
THEN, Brooke’s Dad is allowed in. This would be a good time to review the first bullet point as well as the prior bullet point.
Keiran is caught toting his gun around in his shoulder bag. It’s all good.
Brooke confesses to the police about trespassing on to school property to have sex with Jake in the school swimming pool. It’s laughed off.
Collecting incriminating evidence from Emma. In front every single one of the 50 or so students waiting in the library. Before telling Emma that she needs to come along with them.
Allowing all of the suspicion they caused to fester and eventually rear its head in the form of one fist fight and a riot that nearly sees ‘Stavo (Suavé!) getting beaten to death.
Excusing Maggie Duvall from her involvement in the case for “contaminating evidence” when Acosta ends up doing that himself later in the show.

Additionally, nobody dies here — which is just preposterous considering the ages-old “people trapped in a confined area” premise, the fact that Jake was just killed and the killer — as Keiran and Eli point out — could still “locked in with them”, and the fact that the episode pretentiously rips off another horror film title in “Dawn of the Dead”. BUT NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENS. It’s this kind of thing Scream does to its audience. It just can’t be helped. I point this out week after week and it’s frustrating.

The only other big reveal is that Noah finally finds out that his friend Audrey has been hiding the truth about Jake and a whole lot more after boosting her cell phone and successfully guessing her password. While this makes for some interesting future possibilities, it’s hard to believe that as paranoid and secretive as Audrey’s been the last five episodes, she wouldn’t have tracked down her phone using an app. It also serves to negate Emma’s new “fighter girl” storyline since we’ve been promised that as well.

The upside to all of this is that we’ve “moved into Act Two”, as Noah tells Audrey, so maybe —just MAYBE — all the pieces are on the board and we’re ready for a nice coast downhill. Let’s hope that it’s a smooth slope rather than a rocky finish that ends the show on a down note.

’12 Monkeys’ Renewed For Season 3

Nicole C

June 29, 2016

Praise all the gods because Syfy’s 12 Monkeys has been renewed for a season 3.

EW has learned that the show has been picked up for 10 episodes for an upcoming third season that will air in 2017.

12 Monkeys is based on the 1995 film of the same name (that starred Bruce Willis, Brad Pitt, and Madeleine Stowe) and follows time traveler James Cole (Aaron Stanford) and CDC doctor Cassandra Railly (Amanda Schull) as they battle a mysterious group known as the Army of the 12 Monkeys who seek to ensure a world where time doesn’t exist.

In the first season, the main characters struggled to stop a plague that kills off most of the world’s population and creates a dystopian future. Currently, the 12 Monkeys have been murdering primaries to destroy the fabric of time itself.

“In two short seasons, 12 Monkeys has become a cult favorite series. Terry and the cast and crew have brought to life a rich world not confined by boundaries of time, with multi-dimensional characters whose motivations for saving the world are deeply personal and intensely relatable. It’s exactly the type of smart, on-the-edge-of-your-seat entertainment we want to bring to Syfy viewers,” said President of Entertainment Networks Chris McCumber.

The series’ stellar cast also includes Kirk Acevedo (Jose Ramse), Emily Hampshire (Jennifer Goines), Barbara Sukowa (Katarina Jones), Todd Stashwick (Deacon), Alisen Down (Olivia), Tom Noonan (Pallid Man), and Demore Barnes (Whitley).

‘Dead of Summer’: ‘Patience’ is what you will need to get through the pilot

Alyssa Berkowitz

June 29, 2016

Dead of Summer
Season 1 Episode 1: “Patience”
Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Going into the pilot of Dead of Summer, I only knew a few things about the show, but all of them intrigued me. First, I am sucker for anything camp related. I just love camp. Second, it was created by the guys behind Once Upon a Time and Lost. And third, according to the Wikipedia page the show, which takes place in 1989, is considered a period drama.

So I sat down to watch the Dead of Summer pilot, “Patience”, wearing an old camp shirt, excited for what was to come. I am sorry to say that I left utterly confused. I really have no idea what happened during this episode, and not in that good thriller way. So many things happened but nothing was explained enough for me to even understand it. And I get that this is a thriller/mystery, but the things that confused me didn’t leave me on the edge of my seat, it left me scratching my head.

So first the premise of the show:

The show starts off at Stillwater Lake about a century earlier as a mob attacks a man tickling the ivory. And then we see a ton of dead bodies floating in the lake. So, yeah this place is obviously haunted.

Fast-forward… It is 1989, and all eight of Camp Stillwater’s counselors arrive to prep the camp for the upcoming summer. Camp Stillwater has been closed for the last five years, but in three short days the campers will be arriving and Camp Stillwater will be open for business.

All of Camp Stillwater’s counselors are former campers, except for Amy and possibly Drew (who I will discuss in more detail later). Amy arrives at camp wearing a Girl Scout outfit that even Leslie Knope would be proud of.

Amy is shy and just wants to fit in. The only reason that Amy applied to worked at this camp was because her friend Margot convinced her that it would be fun. Unfortunately though, Margot was unable to attend camp due to the fact that she fell off a roof and died while running away from the cops at a house party. Amy blames herself for this death.

As for the other counselors: Alex is the token blond-haired preppy boy, who gets his preppy wardrobe by stealing other people’s dry cleaning.

Jessie is the ugly duckling who five years later evolved into a hot swan and wants everyone to know how hot she is. Joel is the guy who carries his camcorder everywhere he goes because he is a young Steven Spielberg. Blair is the resident late 80’s gay camper, who is besties with Caroline aka Cricket. Cricket is an adorable girl who just wants to be loved. She is so insecure that she writes graffiti notes on the bunk walls that say she is a slut, so boys will think she is.

Blotter, well we know basically nothing about Blotter except that for some bizarre reason he drinks what I assume is to be Bug Juice out of a baby bottle.

And then there is Drew, the outsider. He didn’t even arrive at camp on the bus like everyone else. Man I love this character. He doesn’t stop to hang out with the others while they are drinking at the campfire. He just comes, steals a beer and peaces out. No one can figure out if he even went to camp with them since he doesn’t talk to anyone. And, at the end of the episode he goes to the infirmary , where there are private showers, and it is revealed he is wearing a sports bra. I am very excited yet apprehensive about where show will take this story line. I don’t want to go into it too much right now, because I don’t know enough about the character, but I just pray they treat Drew and his storyline with the respect it deserves.

So back to the episode:

In the three days while the counselors prep for the campers’ arrival (which involved very little prepping), these kids do normal counselor things like smoke weed, drink beer around a fire and go for late night swims in the lake. They also experience some very non-normal counselor things like finding a deer carcass in the woods with its heart ripped out and finding the groundskeeper dead in the lake. The sheriff’s department comes to investigate the death and the Chief acts like finding a dead guy in a lake is a normal Tuesday. He does not see why the camp shouldn’t still open in two days. His deputy, Garrett Sykes, does not agree. Garrett runs into Amy in the woods when he comes back later that night and the two go to investigate the dead groundskeeper’s cabin. When they walk into the cabin Garrett tells Amy to “stay close.” Um, Garrett, you are in a cabin that is at most 12ft x 12ft. Where the fuck would Amy wander off to? Anyway, they find a hidden wall in the cabin where the groundskeeper kept satanic maps and pictures of dead people and the next thing you know the cabin is on fire.

Also everyone seems to just keep seeing ghosts. Joel caught one on his camcorder and Amy is basically seeing them everywhere. After Amy sees theses ghosts she starts running around camp like a screaming maniac and experiencing flashbacks of her friend Margot’s death. Apparently she also has no sense of time. But seriously, the morning after Amy firsts runs off, the crew is eating breakfast wondering where she is. Where she is, is off having flashbacks to Margot’s death. Next thing you know it is night and the others are running down to the lake for a swim. Was Amy just sitting there all day? Did not a single person go look for her? Did her flashbacks transport her to later that night? I have no idea.

Oh, and I forgot to discuss Camp Director Deb Carpenter, who is creepy as F. When the staff finds the dead deer with its heart ripped out she is all like “Oh haha Hunters… CAMP MUST GO ON.” And then does the same thing about the dead groundskeeper. She also goes out to middle of the woods in the middle of the night to dig up a creepy old box.

But let me not forget the most creepy of creepy things she did. Joel was out in the morning being artistic and filming the crows flying in the sky. As he follows a flying crow, his camera happens upon the window of Deb’s cabin where she is looking out, wearing only a bra. Joel, being an awkward horny teen looks away but then looks back, and Deb is just staring out at him, keeping eye contact. It was so weird and creepy and made me want to throw up. But Joel is all for it because, like I said, he is a horny teen. The next night he goes to videotape Deb in her window again (which dude, no) and Deb just shuts her blinds on him. Like WTF just happened. I have no idea. I am so confused.

So, in conclusion, the pilot of Dead of Summer, left me, for lack of a better word, baffled. That being said, I will still keep watching to see how it progresses because I think once the mystery and characters become more fleshed out, the show will become more intriguing.

Other things I just can’t let go:

Are there literally only eight counselors at this camp? And only 3 of them female? How are the cabins even going to be broken down? Amy gets grades 3-5, Jessie 6-7, and Cricket 8-9 and that is it? Who is going to run activities? Do they even have lifeguards? Who’s going to save these poor campers when they start drowning in the lake of dead bodies?
Did the camp really use this entire Coach Bus to drive SEVEN people to camp? That seems fiscally irresponsible for a camp that just reopened and probably isn’t swimming in cash.
Why the HELL does Blotter drink out of a baby bottle?
When talking about how Dave the Groundskeeper was an alcoholic Cricket says he is a “Walking bottle of Schivitz.” Did she mean to say “Schewitz” as in Manischewitz the cheap very nauseatingly sweet Kosher wine? I googled every possible spelling of her pronunciation and came up with no alcoholic beverage. That, or she meant to say the Yiddish word schvitz which would mean that Dave smelled like a bottle of sweat, or a steam bath.
Joel and that damn camcorder. First, I am pretty sure that in 1989, the tapes for those camcorders only held like three hours of footage. So how many video cassettes do we think that he brought with him to camp?

The Workprint Gamescast Episode 30 – With Guest Chef Lethal

Jen Stayrook

June 29, 2016

What’s up, guys and gals! Welcome to the Workprint Gamescast!

Listen to Rob, Jen, Bilal, and the gang talk about the latest in video games news, what they’re playing, and all other manner of nerdy habits.

THIS WEEK ON THE GAMESCAST: Episode 30! Boy, how time does fly! This week Rob, Jen, and Bilal have a special guest on the gamescast–Twitch’s Chef Lethal! The gang interviews Chef Lethal about his time streaming on Twitch, what it’s like to cook and not burn down the house, and of course, we talk video games (like the aggressively mediocre Mighty No. 9). Enjoy!

What’s up: 01:41

What we’ve been playing: 7:59

Mighty No. 9 Discussion: 25:13

Gaming news: 40:12

Chef Lethal Interview: 52:01

HEY! So that Chef Lethal dude was pretty awesome, right? Stalk him all over the internet and tell him thanks for guesting on our gamescast:

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Follow the Gamescast hosts on Twitter!

Rob: @Sunnyvice20
Jen: @JenStayrook
Bilal: @Bilal_Mian

Want to watch our shenanigans live? Check out the Workprint Twitch channel.

’12 Monkeys’ Review: Jennifer’s Holy Resurrection

Nicole C

June 27, 2016

12 Monkeys

Season 2, Episode 11: “Resurrection”

Air Date: June 27, 2016

Reeling from the impact of last week’s botched mission, Team Splinter find themselves out of time with the storm at their doorstep in 2044.

Old Jennifer sits calmly inside her tent, burning away relics from her past including her Markridge ID and a picture of herself as a child. Hannah enters asking her Mother to lead them somewhere safe, but the leader says that today is the day when one ends at the beginning and begins at the end. Very cryptic but also very important!

Meanwhile within the facility, Jones and Cole discuss his final jump back to 1957 as they only have the time to do one last splinter, which will hopefully stop the massive storm anomaly from happening. They only have a few hours before all hell breaks lose but with Dr. Adler in lockdown, the calculations are taking significantly longer than normal (since Dr. Lasky has taken over). Speaking of Team Revenge, looks like Ramse has other allies as he and the scientist go into Cassie’s room to discuss their plan to take over the facility from Jones and Cole. Adler has worked out that Titan is in Colorado and explains that he can splinter them there since an overland trek would be next to suicide (aka time travel without the time). Cassie though brings up a good question, how are they going to stop the storm? Ramse then says that The Witness must have another way to time travel and so they will use his method to go back and stop all of this from happening. Dr. Railly is still unsure though because she knows how dangerous a coup can be (hello Spearhead) and she is worried about Cole. The former scav appeals to her need for revenge against the 12 Monkeys leader and asks if she’s willing to bet her life on Titan and The Witness. She answers yes and is left in her room to mentally prepare herself while Ramse and Adler go about orchestrating a coup.

The whole facility is in the process of evacuating when some kind of electrical issue happens and while only two people are injured, one is in critical condition and requires medical attention. Cole reluctantly has Whitley bring Cassie out to help. As Dr. Railly is treating the wound, the two chat and it seems that Cole isn’t quite as pissed off as he was last week because he asks her to come with him to 1957. Unfortunately Cassie is still very upset and says that they don’t even know who the primary is during that period.

Cole: We’ll find them.

Cassie: There is no we remember? The fight is here Cole. I’m not running away.

Cole: Is that what you think I’m doing? Running away? I’m trying…

Cassie: Don’t try to save me. I’d rather take my chances in Titan.

Yikes! Well these two obviously still have their issues. Cassie though asks Cole what if there was another way to get to Titan, they could go together and kill The Witness. Just then gun shots are heard and Cole handcuffs her to the table, asking if this was the other way.

Cole and Ramse then encounter each other in one of the hallways with gunfire, but the later instructs the soldier with him not to shoot so that the boys can chat. Cole thinks that going to Titan is not the answer as Jennifer told him that only death waits for them there and they won’t find The Witness. Ramse responds that he’s already dead (because of his missing son) and that Cole can’t understand because he doesn’t have family and that he’s never been a father. Cole then says that he always thought Ramse was his family. Ouch. You guys, this opposite sides thing is not healthy for your relationship. Haven’t we learned from this already? And to top that off, Ramse tells him, “I love you too.”

Understanding that they both aren’t going to end up on the same side, the two men part ways knowing that the next time they meet, it’s going to be on because only one of them can win. Cole radios Jones to secure the planning room because Ramse, Adler, and Harris are coming to get it while he goes to even the odds. Enter drunk Deacon who has copious amounts of alcohol because Cassie’s rejected him. The ScavKing’s decided that he’s going out the way he came in, naked that is. Pissed off, Cole confronts him and says that he is a survivor, he’s been through so much and this is not how he should die so he needs to get dressed and help save the world. Deacon rallies but before anything else, pukes in the hallway with the time traveler just waiting. That’s right, just throw it all up. Moments later, the power goes out as Team Revenge has taken over the core.

Adler and Ramse are allowed into the planning room through Whitley, who turns out to be working with them much to Jones’ shock and dismay. He explains that they need to start playing offense instead of defense. Jones tries to appeal to Adler that they can still stop all of this by going back to 1957 but the other man is done with her missions because they haven’t been able to prevent anything, now it’s their turn and they are going to Titan. Cole manages to somehow get inside and hold a gun out at Adler. Ramse tells his friend that he can’t possibly stop all of them and the time traveler agrees, saying that he doesn’t have to. All of a sudden Cassie tackles him down and ends up shooting Adler in the leg. The two fight with Dr. Railly emerging the victor.

Cole tells her that she can kill him and The Witness but it won’t matter because she’ll still be afraid of herself because she let him in. Right on the money.

She locks him in the room and goes into the splinter chamber to patch Adler up. Luckily the shot missed the artery and he is able to get to work on programming the machine to take them to Titan. Jones confronts Whitley’s betrayal but the soldier says that the mission had always been hers not his. Annoyed, Ramse sticks a gun at the scientist and essentially tells her to shut her pie hole. Jones doesn’t take it laying down and calmly takes her glasses off before headbutting him.

Whitley and Ramse though get radioed that one of the Humvees took off heading north and they realize that Cole has gone out to get help from the Daughters. When he arrives at the camp, one of Old Jennifer’s lieutenants tells him that something is wrong with Mother and that he needs to convince her to leave before it’s too late. But as soon as Cole enters the tent, Old Jennifer is ready for action armed with a shotgun and a line from Die Hard, “Mayday mayday! Terrorists have taken over the Natakomi building in Century City!”

Cole doesn’t know what that means but Old Jennifer says it means that she knows why he’s here, that they’ve got his machine and he wants her and her daughters to be the cavalry.

Cole: Will you help?

Old Jennifer: Have I ever said no to you? Self preservation was never my thing.

Before they head out though, Old Jennifer tells Coles that he’s changing into a leader but that he must be prepared to make sacrifices because it’s the price of taking people on. She asks if he’s willing to let someone he loves die for his mission and for the good of the world. He answers yes and sagely she nods, saying that once he does he mustn’t look back.

Back at the facility, Whitley sees Cole and the Daughters approaching from the south while on lookout with Harris. As he is about to go and guard the loading dock, Deacon makes his surprise appearance. Honestly I can’t believe Ramse and Cassie forgot about him during their plans! The ScavKing kills Harris and shoots out a flare while having Whit secure a rope that the Daughters can use to scale the building and get inside. With the might of the Daughters, Cole is able to take the splinter room away from Team Revenge and Deacon re-appears singing Don’t You Forget About Me from the Breakfast Club soundtrack.

He apologizes to Cassie who understands that it’s not personal, oh but actually for him it is. He could care less about the mission, he just couldn’t pass up a chance to piss off Jose and her. Ramse angrily tells Teddy to get over it. The ScavKing literally is about to fire back when the other man pushes his gun away and Old Jennifer is shot instead. Hannah screams and slashes Deacon’s face but allows Cassie to come help.

They take Old Jennifer to the other room and Cole asks if this is the sacrifice she was talking about. She tells him that today is September 23, 2044, the day she dies. When this happens her daughters are going to kill all of them unless there’s a resurrection. Now what could that possibly mean? Cole says that there’s no time for him to undo this but Old Jennifer instead explains that he needs to find a version of her that needs the Daughters.

Understanding, Cole has Jones send him back to his last coordinates in 2016 where he reunites with Jennifer in room 607. She is confused as all hell but doesn’t refuse him when he asks for her help. The two splinter back to 2044 where the Daughters bow down acknowledging that she is their Mother.

Jennifer’s trippy journey doesn’t end though because she meets her older self who is dying. Old Jennifer tells her that the Daughters are hers now and that they need a leader. For years she had apparently promised them a holy resurrection, wink wink. She says that 2016 Jennifer now faces a choice, to spit in the face of death and take the Daughters to Titan to fight the Army of the 12 Monkeys once and for all or to take them far away from here in the hopes that Cole succeeds and that one day this war will be over. Teary-eyed young Jennifer asks what she had picked when she was her and the dying woman answered not to go to Titan because she wasn’t willing to risk the lives of her Daughters, but maybe if she was braver she could have helped save the world. Old Ms. Goines tells her 2016 self that she can be a better version of her. They finish each other’s sentence and both giggle-snort while both saying, “choose your own adventure.”

Old Jennifer: I love you, I know that’s a weird thing to hear but later you’ll need to remember that. Ok I’m dying now.

Oh Jennifer, I love all versions of you! This was an incredibly powerful scene that was acted the hell out of by Emily Hampshire.

Returning to the splinter room, she makes her decision and tells Cole that he needs to get ready to go back to 1957 then says to Ramse and Cassie that if they want The Witness they’re gonna go after him. Ramse complains that they can’t navigate the storm but Jennifer has a yellow brick road map in her mind son! They all start prepping for their own missions and it seems that boys have made peace but Cassie still isn’t talking to time Jesus.

Jones thanks Cole before sending him off for believing in her because she knows that this could be the last time that they ever see each other if he fails to stop the paradox. The two share a tender moment amidst the oncoming apocalypse and hug while I get intense sad feels thanks to the orchestral accompaniment.

As Team Revenge is heading out towards Titan, Cassie looks back to see the storm over the facility and then at Ramse with obvious torment in her eyes. The man eventually stops the vehicle as if to say, just go hurry up and be with Cole cuz you know you luvs him. She gets out and sprints back. Run Cassie run! This is all so dramatic and I love ittttttt. She makes it into the machine room just as Cole splinters and goes up to Jones with tears in her eyes. After a moment the scientist grabs one of the injections and Cassie rolls her sleeve up so she can get the shot then she scurries to the machine for one last jump.

Hannah, Jones, and Dr. Lasky then try to exit out of the facility but the time storm is already inside and the poor man gets caught in the anomaly. The doctor takes her daughter through another way out when another anomaly gets in between them. Jones urges Hannah to go but her child refuses to leave her. Finally the younger woman is convinced and cries as she says goodbye to her mother. Jones heads back into the splinter room and sits on the chair as the storm encircles her and then she is gone.

Are you crying yet? No? You have no soul. After being reunited only a few episodes ago (episode 8 – Lullaby), this has got to be one of the saddest scenes ever. I’d say though that Jones didn’t have any regrets, she at least had a little bit of happiness now that she knew her daughter was alive. She believed in her mission and hopefully Cole succeeds and manages to save the world.

In 1957, Cole emerges from the bar of the Emerson hotel into the lobby and is surprised to see Cassie there. She tells him that she doesn’t want to be afraid anymore.

Geez louise what an episode! Now that 2016 Jennifer is in the future, she will have to learn from her experiences with the Hyenas and become the Mother that she is meant to be. Who knew that she would end up in 2044 to take the place of her older self. I did not see that coming. At some point though she will have to go back in time again to establish the Daughters to begin with since we know in 2020 she was already leading them (when she was being held in Spearhead).

Speaking of Spearhead though, after episode 8 when time kept resetting itself to make sure that Jones invented time travel, what Jennifer had said to Jones (after she had drunk the red tea) that time can think and therefore is more than just an infinite progression of events. How will that eventually affect the rest of the characters we’ll just have to wait and see.

The whole season thus far has been a crescendo and we’re entering the most intense episodes yet. What will Ramse and the others find at Titan? Will Cassie and Cole succeed in preventing the paradox? Will Jones come back to life or is she dead dead?

Syfy needs to hurry up and renew the show for season 3 already because this is the best science fiction show on television right now.

Final Thoughts:

Really amazing performances from Kirk Acevedo, Todd Stashwick, Barbara Sukowa, and Emily Hampshire in tonight’s episode
What was that little moment between Old Jennifer and Deacon?? Is young Jennifer and the ScavKing going to get together?? That would be AWESOME.
Also I will never forget Deacon’s naked scene and then him barfing in the hallway.
Ramse, Cole, and Cassie’s love/hate relationships triangle is nutty. I just want them to all just get along already.
Is there something brewing between Cassie and Ramse after last week’s episode when Ramse told the Moussad agent that if he hurts her he’ll kill him? Plus when he asks her this episode who handcuffed her he seemed more than “just friends” pissed. Just sayin.
While Jones may be the mother of time travel, Adler is the father of teleportation!

Here’s the preview for the upcoming new episode:

12 Monkeys airs Mondays 9/8 central on Syfy.

Catch up on all things 12 Monkeys here.

‘Game of Thrones’ – “The Winds of Winter”: Winter Is Here

Jen Stayrook

June 27, 2016

This week on #GameofThrones: Cersei chooses violence, the North remembers, and Dany finally leaves Meereen.

Spoilers through Game of Thrones 610, “The Winds of Winter”. It’s a finale recap. OF COURSE there are spoilers in this post. You have been warned.

Season six of Game of Thrones has, surprisingly been a hopeful affair. After suffering through all the Red Weddings, Stark deaths, Ramsay rapes, and Lannister victories in the past, we finally have a hopeful time in the Thrones universe. Of course, as with every victory in Thrones, there is a more dangerous defeat on the horizon, but I left “The Winds of Winter” feeling, dare I say, optimistic.

The season finale, for me, was hands down the best the episode we’ve seen thus far. It was boosted by an amazing score, but it’s the one of the few episodes that so neatly incorporated every plot line. It’s easy for episodes like “Blackwater” and “Hardhome” to stand out because they’re focused affairs, able to give the time necessary to smaller moments that make them memorable, able to devote time to characters otherwise forgotten like Karsi and Podrick. But “The Winds of Winter” took these characters we know and love and gave everyone single one a pedestal to stand on, to look out over the world and say, “This is mine. I can win.” It doesn’t matter that soon they’ll be fighting for the right to those pedestals, because that doesn’t matter. For right now, these characters believe they are capable of so much and only because they’ve already lost everything.

King’s Landing

I considered discussing King’s Landing last in this recap because of all the plot lines, it was the most explosive, the most suspenseful. And yet, I cannot wait to discuss what my boo, Cersei, has done to turn the world upside down. Cersei, still alive because she has the will of a cockroach, doesn’t plan to ever attend the trial. The High Sparrow, in an attempt to render her guilty of her crimes, has forced her hand into being more cruel than originally planned and the Queen of Thorns has planted a seed in her mind that if they won’t concede to her rule, they must die. I assumed Loras would die, what with him jumping on to the Netflix machine to be Iron Fist and all, but I did not imagine we would lose so many named characters, characters we’ve had since season one, so quickly. It was a hopeless and gorgeous opening scene, with a score that cranks the levels of suspense up to 11. Everything was carefully orchestrated and for once, Cersei was two steps ahead of the Faith.

For all the accusations of conniving ways, Cersei’s hair isn’t large and full of secrets, her motives have always been transparent: protect her children. Once upon a time, Cersei’s lust for power was a selfish scheme, but it was more the machinations of a girl who believed in the beauty of fairy tales. Much like Sansa, she dreamed of being a princess, married to a gallant knight who could protect her. Despite the era in which she was raised, the time of the Mad King, it was her belief that the higher you were in the royalty, the safer your life would be. Her children would be safe as princes and princesses, and she made damn sure that stayed true. But when Tommen went over to the side of the Faith, Cersei lost him to more than just poison. Emotionally, he is lost to her. So, she dons her black dress, in mourning for the loss of her last son, and has the candles lit underneath the Sept of Baelor, where all the caches of wildfire await their moment to shine.

Margaery knows something is wrong when Cersei doesn’t show up. She knows that Cersei, despite her quiet nature this season, doesn’t let someone else decide her future. The High Sparrow ignores her intuition, certain in his arrogance that the Seven will keep them safe. Yet, when the floors erupt beneath them, proving Margaery correct, there’s a look of genuine fear on his face. He’s made a huge mistake underestimating what Cersei will do to keep power.

And then Tommen, poor malleable and sweet Tommen, the boy who was never meant to rule, sees the explosion at the Sept and knows once and for all that he cannot survive in this world. For the first time since he was born, he makes a decision that is truly his own, and beautifully throws himself from the Red Keep.

If only he had aimed for the cart of hay.

Cersei doesn’t mourn Tommen the way she mourned Joffrey or Myrcella. In some ways, I think she expected it to happen soon, hence her preemptive black dress. Besides, Maggy the Frog said it would come true. Gold their crowns and gold their shrouds. Callously, she tells Qyburn to burn and bury Tommen in what is left of the Sept so he can be with his family.

Cersei then takes the throne as Queen of Westeros. Some might say she finally got what she wanted, the power of ruling, but I’d argue she never wanted it like this. With her children taken from her, she truly has nothing left to lose. When Jaime walks in on her coronation, he’s not seeing the sister who was at her lowest point at the beginning of a season; he’s looking at a ruler who has nothing left to lose, nothing to fear, and that, is frightening.

And she’s bringing shoulder pads back into style. Oh, girlfriend.

Dorne

Also a broken woman with nothing left to lose is Olenna Tyrell, the Queen of Thorns. In one fell swoop she’s lost every heir to Highgarden and she won’t take such an act of violence against her family sitting down. She agrees to meet with Ellaria Sand, new ruler in Dorne, and the two discuss revenge against the Lannisters for their heinous actions.

I want to point out how important this moment is for these two rulers. Both Dorne and Highgarden have never been invaded by their enemies. The Targaryens tried for years to subdue the Martells and failed. Both houses are old in the history of Westeros and proud, and they hate one another. I’m not talking, Mean Girls-esque, “Teehee I hate that bitch.” I’m talking loathing, not even a star-crossed romance could save these two families from mauling one another. Theirs is a rivalry that spans hundreds and hundreds of years, each believing the other guilty of stealing land, intentionally maiming heirs, stealing brides, etc. So for these two who so hate one another to come together with a common enemy, that is a huge deal. And as we see at the end of the episode, their cause is not so futile.

Oldtown

Sam and Gilly finally make it to Oldtown and Sam is about 50 million times more excited about it than Gilly. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that the Citadel hates women and children. Or that they were dropped off in fucking Kansas.

Predictably, the Maester at the Citadel glares at Gilly like she’s selling knockoff Gucci handbags to impressionable children. Sam is as oblivious as ever and is all, “Yea I know the paperwork situation at the wall is atrocious but look at me, I’m adorable, right?” The Maester falls for his sweet smile and lets Sam into the library where he proceeds to go all Belle on the moment.

I do kind of have issue with the Citadel not being up to date on current events. I mean, they’re in the south but they know when winter is coming and yet, have no clue about the situation in the north? Not a major issue, mind you, just one that throws off my whole timeline. If I had one qualm with this episode it’s that travel times for different characters piss me off. Like, WHERE IS BRIENNE? *ahem* Anyway…

The Twins

Jaime has a dinner with Walder Frey as they celebrate the new acquisition of Riverrun. Jaime tries his best to be cordial to Frey but he’s an old coot who never knows when to shut the fuck up. When Jaime asks if he’s ever fought a battle, Frey smugly responds he’s never needed to. Maybe it was Brienne’s visit or the unceremonious death of his hero, the Blackfish, but Jaime is sick of Walder’s shit. He spits back asking why the Lannisters even need the Freys when they only have to rescue their lands for them. And just like that the Lannisters are all alone in Westeros. Alliances with the Tyrells, Boltons, Freys, Baratheons, and Martells have all been severed.

Frey is equally alone in the world but he doesn’t care because he’s convinced he’ll outlive everyone, and that’s all that matters. A serving girl brings his dinner, but it’s with a side of Titus Andronicus, and Frey chokes at the knowledge that he’s been eating his own sons. And in a blink, Arya removes the serving girl’s face and slices Walder Frey’s neck.

EVERY BAD THING THAT HAPPENED IN BRAAVOS IS FORGIVEN.

North of the Wall

Bran says goodbye to Benjen and it’s not really as sweet as you’d imagine for two Starks who were thought to have been dead forever. Benjen is all, “Well, tell your dad I said hi. I mean, your brothers. I mean, oh fuck it. I’m out. Peace.”

Bran then decides that now is the best time to hook up to the Weirwood.net because it’s been a few weeks and he needs to get his fix. He goes back to the Tower of Joy scene and we all learn, finally, what’s inside.

Ned runs up and on a bed of blood is his younger sister, Lyanna Stark, who had been “kidnapped” by Rhaegar Targaryen, leading to the whole Robert Rebellion snafu that destroyed the Targ dynasty. Dying, Lyanna makes Ned promise her something and then WHAM, there’s a brooding baby in his arms. We can’t hear exactly what Lyanna tells Ned, only that “Robert will kill him if he finds out.” What we’re left to infer is that the baby, Jon, is the son of Lyanna and Rhaegar Targaryen, and if Robert Baratheon found out the truth, he’d kill the baby. The show never TELLS us the child is Rhaegar’s and instead leaves us with a little algebra equation to solve in the off-season.

At this point, if Jon were any one but Lyanna and Rhaegar’s child, the revelation would KILL the internet.

Winterfell

We finally get our confrontation between Davos and Melisandre and of all the characters whose hearts have been broken, watching Davos’ heart break, again, has been one of the hardest. This is a man who is loyal to a fault, who loves without shame, and at every turn, he’s lost. He’s lost sons, his king, and most of all, he’s lost Shireen. Finding that wooden stag, burned, was like finding Shireen himself and once the battle has settled, he sets upon Melisandre for what she’s done. She confesses her wrongdoing but that she did it with the best intentions (as if you could burn a child alive with good intentions). Jon banishes her to the south for the murder of the princess Shireen.

Later, Jon and Sansa share a beautifully shot moment between brother and sister. I know there’s a small subsection of the internet who wants this relationship to happen, especially if they’re cousins, to which I say, “NO. BAD INTERNET.” They are siblings and they love one another. Not everyone has to be in a ship, sailing on the sea of love. SOMETIMES we can have beautiful platonic relationships between men and women, ESPECIALLY IF THEY ARE BROTHER AND SISTER. CHRIST.

Sansa apologizes to Jon for hiding Littlefinger from him but come on, of course Sansa trusts exactly no one in her life right now. She can’t afford to, but you can see the way she smiles at Jon that she wants to trust him; she wants to believe that he’ll protect her as he promises. And yet, when Littlefinger surprises her at the weirwood tree with a crude offer of marriage, it’s just another reminder that people in Westeros don’t do nice things for one another without an ulterior motive. Littlefinger confesses that he wants to sit on the Iron Throne and his best chance of achieving that dream is with Sansa’s help as Queen in the North.

No one knows Littlefinger better than Sansa. No one knows the lengths to which he will go to make his dreams a reality. And that’s why when everyone in the hall of Winterfell proclaims Jon the King in the North (Lyanna Mormont is KILLING.IT.), Sansa keeps a wary eye on Littlefinger. Jon as King in the North puts a damper on his plans and Sansa recognizes that he now has a target on his back. It’s not just White Walkers that Jon should fear.

Meereen

FINALLLLLYYYYYY. Six years we have been waiting for Daenerys Targaryen to set sail for Westeros. SIX. YEARS. And she FINALLY did it. I am so full of excitement I can hardly contain myself. Because she’s going off to college, Dany has to (thank the lord) break up with her loser high school boyfriend, because long-distance relationships rarely work and she’s trying to snag herself a doctor or maybe a really cool writer chick. (Hint: me.)

Everything about Dany and Tyrion as a team is perfection. As a book reader, I’m beyond grateful that HBO sped up Tyrion’s arc and put him with Dany sooner. They are two souls who are trying to fight back against their family name, their family histories, while still struggling with being good rulers. Tyrion knows personally how hard it is to rule and he respects Dany for all that she’s done. For once, he does have someone to believe in. I can’t say that I’ll forgive all the bad Tyrion scenes this year, but last week’s moment with Dany, coupled with this scene have definitely improved his arc, in my eyes.

When Tyrion was first named Hand of the King in season two, he did it to 1. stick it to Cersei and Joffrey who were terrible rulers and 2. prove to his father he wasn’t the perpetual fuck up daddy-o believed. When Dany names Tyrion Hand of the Queen, there are tears in his eyes because here’s this ruler he respects and he’s already messed up in front of, but she trusts him, she believes in him so much that he can’t help but be genuinely humbled. Working with Dany may be the first time in Tyrion’s life when he wasn’t gifted a position because of his name, because he was a dwarf, but because he had merit. He earned it.

Goddamn I love Dany.

Random thoughts

Daaaaaaaaaaamn Varys. How you travel so fast, son?

So to sum up, here’s a list of who died this episode:

Queen Margaery Tyrell
Lord Mace Tyrell
Loras Tyrell
The High Sparrow
Kevan Lannister, Hand of the King
Lancel Lannister
King Tommen Baratheon
Grand Maester Pycelle
Lord Walder Frey
Black Walder Frey
Lothar Frey
Daario’s heart

Miguel Sapochnik needs to direct every episode from here on out. I recognize that’s a difficult prospect but I don’t care. After “Battle of the Bastards” and now “Winds of Winter”, he needs to be their go-to guy especially for big moments.

The music for the final two episodes was also top-notch. I don’t often praise Game of Thrones for its score because in the past it hasn’t been that exciting. Sure, moments like the Red Wedding and Dany’s theme in Meereen are notable, but these two episodes the music, or lack thereof, has increased the suspense tenfold.

I loved how deliciously meta the finale was. Some highlights:

Olenna Tyrell calling out the Sand Snakes for being obnoxious and nicknaming them.
Jon referencing the Stark words and how Ned always said, “Winter is Coming.”
Tyrion commenting on them finally leaving Meereen.
Oldtown library having the globes from the introduction sequence.

Game of Thrones will return next year for season seven.

‘Wynonna Earp’ Showrunner Talks Waverly’s Future and Teases Season two

Jen Stayrook

June 25, 2016

Because we’re talking about the finale of Wynonna Earp, there are obviously serious spoilers in this interview.

Wynonna Earp’s first season just came to a close and it was a doozy of a finale. I’m talking major character deaths, bar fights, uprisings, explosions, and tentacle demons. Obviously, I have some serious feelings when it comes to this show so I talked to Wynonna’s showrunner Emily Andras (Lost Girl, Killjoys) about the finale and the possibility of a second season.

I’ll just go ahead and say this now but Wynonna Earp, as a show, has meant a lot to me over the past few months. For a show I knew next to nothing about going in, I’ve fallen in love pretty hard. It ticks every box. Melanie Scrofano is absolute perfection as Wynonna and it’s not like the rest of the cast are slouches. Now that it’s over, I’m genuinely saddened it won’t be on my TV every week.

But let’s get into the hopeful discussion for the future, yes?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WAVERLY IS NOT AN EARP?

After that preview interview I totally thought you were going to say, “Wynonna didn’t kiss anyone in the finale!”

Yea, I was pretty bummed about that, but we got a WayHaught kiss, so I’m okay. But don’t skirt the issue! What is this about Waverly maybe not being an Earp?!

Well, Bobo says she’s not an Earp. Bobo doesn’t have a history of always telling the truth but it is a tantalizing tidbit considering Waverly most embodies the values of being a descendant of Wyatt Earp. She’s probably the best person we have on the show as far as her moral compass, so how can she possibly not be an Earp? The saddest thing for Waverly is that if she does prove to not be an Earp, after all the life changes she’s gone through this season and discovering herself, the one thing that was her anchor was the fact that she was an Earp. It’s how she defines herself. It’s what keeps her motivated. That’s a pretty crazy thing to explore. Although Waverly has her hands full with a few other issues at the moment.

That scene really got to me in the finale, more so than anything else that was revealed. I can see Bobo throwing that lie at Waverly as a way to stop her the same way throwing the town at Wynonna slowed her down, but in that moment it felt like such a truth, like it explained so much with Waverly’s character, that it never crossed my mind it might be a lie. From a storytelling perspective, it’s amazing, but from a human perspective, that possibility breaks my heart for Waverly.

I feel the exact same way. And that scene, between Michael and Dominque, was the last scene we shot of the whole season. It was such a heartbreaking moment. I’m so happy to hear you gush about that scene because there are a lot of crazy cliffhangers in the finale but that was the one that felt the most emotionally devastating. Maybe it’s because it happens to Waverly and we all love her so much.

Also a thing to note about Waverly is that she’s not 27 yet. She’s around 21. So god forbid if Wynonna died we wouldn’t know for some time if Waverly actually could use Peacemaker. There are other clues throughout the season. Waverly is such a warm and caring person but she didn’t exactly have a happy childhood. No one bothered to mark her down on the family growth chart; she had a really contentious relationship with dad; Willa was kind of cruel to her. It wasn’t difficult for Bobo to coerce this lonely child into believing he was her imaginary friend. I think that does match some of the layers of Waverly.

As always with this show, things aren’t always what they seem, but for Waverly, that revelation is definitely going to be difficult going forward. Whether it’s true or not, it affects her, and who knows what it does for her relationship with Wynonna.

The finale could have ended, by my count, in at least 3 other places than it did. Why did you continue to push forward, to close the Bobo arc, and then choose to leave it on a cliffhanger with Waverly being possessed?

I agree with you that there were so many moments where we could have ended the show satisfyingly. Personally, I love the moment where Wynonna mercy-kills Bobo. It just goes back to the defiance in her character. Ending this curse is her primary purpose so no one is going to tell her what to do. “I’m Wynonna goddamn Earp and I’m the heir. Get out of my way.” She and Bobo, despite everything, have this connection, so her shooting him felt very personal. In a way, it was complicated but it was also a righteous death. She wasn’t going to let the government take him.

The odd thing about cliffhangers is that some audience members love them and some hate them, but it’s good to set up stakes for the second season and it’s good to get that push for a second season, to be completely honest. Ending on a cliffhanger is a way to get an audience excited in the off-season, give them something to talk about, something to speculate over what might happen in the future. Hopefully, if we’re lucky enough to come back for a second season, we come back with all that energy.

The show has always prided itself on being fast-paced as far as the story goes, but our audience is really sophisticated, able to keep up with all those twists and turns, so that ending just felt true to the show’s pace. Plus, I like getting angry letters so I don’t get bored while I’m off from work.

I know this answer is probably pretty obvious but Wynonna Earp IS a sci-fi show so I have to ask, are Willa and Bobo DEAD dead?

Hm. Define “dead.” The Oxford dictionary–no, not that joke again. Look, I’m gonna be honest, they could be alive. Willa kind of got tentacled and then shot in the head, so that’s kind of nasty.

(Kind of, she says. Kind of.)

But we never see what happens to her body, so maybe? And Bobo clearly got shot between the eyes by Peacemaker and was sent back to Hell. On the other hand, he was outside the Ghost River Triangle, so what does that mean? “But of course they’re DEAD dead,” she said smirking. I don’t know yet. I think we can assume they’re dead until they’re not. How about that?

(Tease.) Speaking of maybe/maybe not dead, what is the deal with Dolls? His eyes and the medication, there is so much more going on there.

Oh, his eyes. I thought were asking about how many push-ups a day does Shamier do, because it’s all of them. If you want to talk about something that’s unreal, it’s how fit Shamier is.

Welllllllllllll, we got a lot more hints about Dolls in the finale. Obviously, we went to the crazy eyes again and he got injected by one particular type of drug. It’s an ongoing mystery but he did tell Doc that, “it’s just medicine. I’ve taken it since I was a kid. It helps keep some parts of me alive and some parts of me dead.” I think there’s some interesting speculation in that riddle, so there you go. But I will say, he’s in a lot of trouble right now with the Black Badge Division. He’s being carted off to like, Siberia.

Would season two cover more with the Black Badge Division and all that beef between Lucado and Dolls?

Season two is a tantalizing unbaked muffin that could come in so many delicious flavors. The BBD is certainly interesting but during season one they were a little bit like neglectful landlords who weren’t paying attention. Given what happened in the finale, they are definitely going to be paying more attention to Purgatory. Whether that’s a curse or a blessing remains to be seen.

So we’ve kind of talked kissing, but since I didn’t get Wynonna kissing anyone in the finale, let’s talk about that subtle love triangle going on between Dolls, Doc, and Wynonna. During “House of Memories” it seemed like she had finally picked to be with Dolls. Is this the case or is there more inner turmoil there?

The most confused person in this matter is Wynonna. If you put a gun to both those boys’ heads right now, I don’t think Wynonna would know who she’d pick. But that’s what makes it compelling! I don’t know if there’s a definitive right answer yet. I just want her to keep kissing people.

And I love the kissing. At least we did get that amaaaaazing WayHaught kiss. Let’s gush about them. Wynonna Earp has made a giant splash with the LGBT community. Was this something the writers had planned in developing the first season or did it naturally occur as the season progressed?

Dom and Kat are that adorable in real life, just so you know. That’s not on us. That’s totally just them being that adorable. But you never plan it because that’s kind of cynical. You never know which parts will stick with the fans. Of course you always hope that people get this weird show you’ve put on the air.

Personally, the LGBT representation has been quite important to me in my writing and it has been ever since I started writing for a variety of reasons. I was lucky enough to have good results with the LGBT fandom on another show, Lost Girl. We had a very sophisticated and passionate lesbian fanbase on that show and it made me realize that the LGBT community craves better representation that is complicated and real and not just dumbed down.

I knew since conception that Waverly was going to be exploring her sexuality. If every character has their secret, I think Waverly’s secret, unknown even to herself, is that she’s probably not straight. I don’t want to put her on the spectrum yet because I think she is still exploring that as a character.

I have been so blown away by the response to WayHaught. In a million years, I did not expect it would be so embraced, so celebrated in the way it was. I saw the chemistry between Kat and Dom early on and we talked a lot about writing real female characters, depicting them in a way that wasn’t a caricature. But the second Nicole walked in that bar, the first time Nicole and Waverly met, she had a two minute scene in Shorty’s, and I could not believe the fan response. From that point on, I knew we were on to something special.

Have you heard anything about a second season and who do we have to bribe to make it happen?

Even if I had, I couldn’t say anything. Were up to me, I’d have heard we were getting 100 episodes. I just have to say: keep talking to Syfy. Keep tweeting about your love of the show. Email Syfy. Rewatch episodes. Spread the word if you love Wynonna Earp. All of this engagement does nothing but help us. If you want more Wynonna Earp, we are poised like jungle cats to give you more. We just need your help.

If renewed for a second season, is there anything you feel you would do differently or try to improve on? Would Nicole come on as a main character? Would you introduce more characters? Would you change locations?

When we were filming for the first season, we were kind of just doing it blind from our brains. I mean, if you want to give us Game of Thrones money, we’ll definitely take it and make the show bigger and badder. Personally, I want Wynonna on her motorcycle all the time. But the beauty of a second season is that now we’ve laid that lore and foundation down, we know who these characters are, so for a second season, we would want to put them in more situations where they’re all together. Whatever they’re fighting there’s more emotional juice behind it because we are really doing a character study of these guys. They all know who they are now so let’s have them love each other and then let’s have them fight; let’s have them go through stuff together and grow. I really hope we get that chance.

Wynonna Earp desperately needs to be renewed for a second season.

‘Wynonna Earp’ – “I Walk The Line”: Syfy, Renew this Show Already

Jen Stayrook

June 25, 2016

This week on the season finale of ‘Wynonna Earp’: Oh my god so many secrets are revealed.

Spoilers through the season finale of Wynonna Earp season one, “I Walk the Line.” If you want a preview of what’s to come, check out my interview with showrunner, Emily Andras.

There are some people who can watch a show like Wynonna Earp and then afterwards, calmly sit down and eloquently compose their thoughts in an easily readable manner. I am not one of those people.

WHAAAAAAAAAAT. WITH THE TENTACLE AND THE GUN AND SHE–AND THEN SHE MIGHT NOT BE AND THEN AHHHHHHHHHH SHE KILLED HIM AND THEN AHHHHHHHHHH SHE PULLED THE TRIGGER. JESUS WAVERLY AND NICOLE. I AM ALL OUT OF EVENS TO CAN’T.

Ahem. Now that that’s out of my system.

After “House of Memories” I wasn’t sure how Wynonna Earp would outdo itself. I mean, Nicole punched Champ, WyDolls kissed, WayHaught kissed A LOT, and Willa went off her fucking rocker. But Wynonna Earp’s season finale “I Walk the Line” definitely brought out the big guns and I’m both happy with how it ended and fucking pumped because we had BETTER get a second season. I mean, if Galavant can do it, certainly Wynonna Earp can too, right?

The episode starts where “House of Memories” left off, with Willa and Bobo getting all lovey-dovey and ready to cross the border out of the Ghost River Triangle. Willa is wildly inappropriate and it’s kind of bumming me out, but thankfully the mushy stuff comes to a quick end when she realizes she doesn’t have Peacemaker and thus, can’t break the curse just yet.

In town and still in that dress, Wynonna is surrounded by the zombiefied townsfolk. Like the heroes they are, Doc and Dolls pick her ass up and unceremoniously toss her out the window. Definitely one of Wynonna’s more graceful moments. The two men decide to go to Shorty’s to see if there’s an antidote they can concoct (now with the aid of newly “in the know” Nicole) and Wynonna decides to head off after Bobo.

It’s at this moment that I realize that Wynonna, oblivious in all things, doesn’t know that Willa is involved in this apocalyptic debacle. Wynonna, girlfriend, we are going to need to teach you to read the room. And to be a little more perceptive like Wavylays who has stolen Peacemaker but then oopsy, gets chloroformed.

At the Homestead, Wynonna puts that Earp grace on full display when she tries to shimmy out of her now infamous dress. Homeboy Pete is all gross and foaming at the mouth, pissed at Wynonna for what she’s done to the town. Just as he’s about to attack, Willa shows up and whangs him over the head with a frying pan. I can appreciate that Will.I.Aint has come full circle with the whole, getting hit over the head with a heavy object thing. Willa starts to get awfully angry about Peacemaker and Wynonna doesn’t think twice about it. On a scale from 1 to Jon Snow, Wynonna’s about a 13 on the “oblivious” scale when it comes to Willa. I mean, this chick cares more about a gun than Waverly. WAVERLY, PEOPLE.

SOAPBOX TIME. It’s at this moment that I should take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to talk seriously about this relationship between Wynonna and Willa. From the beginning we’ve seen this beautiful sisterhood between Wy and Waves, and then in comes Willa with her big anime eyes and amnesia and suddenly Wynonna is a trusting soul. But the thing is, Wynonna feels wholly responsible for everything that happened to Willa. If she hadn’t accidentally killed their father, if she hadn’t been such a screw up, if she had looked harder for her sister, maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. So when Willa comes back into their lives, all cult charm and fake sweetness, Wynonna bites down on this relationship and holds on for dear life. She won’t be responsible for something happening to Willa again. Instead of looking at Willa for the danger she might possess, she looks outside at the danger that could potentially take away her sister. OF COURSE she doesn’t see Willa for who she really is, a bully, a sociopath. What reason would she have to think such things of her sister? She doesn’t have the history Waverly does with Willa. All she knows is that it’s her job to protect her family and dammit, she’s gonna do that.

wynonna earp 113 waverly willa — But a little more awareness could go a long way, Wynonna.

Wy and Willa head to the police station where Wavylays is being held hostage. Willa goes all Willa and then realizes that Waverly is the one who stole Peacemaker. The sisters get into a fight when in walks Nicole and Will.I.Aint loses all remaining cool. Everything implodes and Wynonna realizes that she has no fucking clue about ANYTHING going on with her sisters. Not only is Willa evil but Waverly is in love with Nicole, who ends up getting shot by Willa but THANK THE ALMIGHTY EARP JESUS that Nicole was wearing a bulletproof vest. WayHaught kisses, grateful they’re both safe, and the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD swoons.

At Shorty’s, Doc and Dolls have a wee bit of a confrontation, but nothing that Dolls’ magic lavender medicine can’t fix. After getting shot, Doc drugs him up, Dolls goes all Hulk on the situation, and pretty soon the Black Badge Division will have an antidote for the town. Good. One less thing.

Waverly heads to the treehouse alone to try to stop Bobo from going across the border. She knows of the two lovebirds Bobo is more likely to listen to reason. How’s that for some friggin’ insanity? Bobo tells her that he loves Willa and nothing Waverly says will stop him from being with her because he’s a swan and swans mate for life. AWWWWW. I mean, ew yuck, Gross. (I love him.)

Bobo then drops a freaking BOMB on Waverly, telling her that she isn’t an Earp.

And then I die inside. Of all the Earps, Waverly is the most Earp-like, so what the hell do you mean she’s adopted?! (I’m guessing Waverly has something to do with Mama Earp not being around but you don’t just TELL SOMEONE they’re adopted. Good grief, Bobo.)

Everyone converges on the border of the Ghost River Triangle and Bobo does his best to hold off Doc and Wynonna while Willa escapes. The plan backfires when Wynonna, the clever girl, sends a grenade right at Bobo’s angry little face.

Wynonna and Willa faceoff with Wy desperately trying to talk her older sister out of leaving Purgatory, out of opening a gate that unleashes demons and maybe even worse things on their home town. But Willa doesn’t care. She hates everyone in Purgatory. She blames them for the awful things she’s suffered. She’s so hateful that she doesn’t even care that she’s left Bobo to die. Guess Earps don’t mate for life like swans do, huh, Bobo?

Out of nowhere, Dolls shows up and shoots Willa in the stomach and I can’t decide if I love or hate him for that move. That was Wynonna’s call to make and he essentially took it from her. We know that it was unlikely Wy would kill her sister, but damn Dolls. That’s cold. Then a tentacle monster (lol wut) comes from the darkness to swallow up the Earp heir, but Wy puts her sister out of her misery with a bullet to the head.

Okay. I guess she did have it in her.

I thought the episode would end there but noooooooo. We got a lot more shit going down in the final five minutes of Wynonna Earp. Not only does Wy have a chat with the mysterious “JC” stranger, but Agent Lucado and the Black Badge Division take both Bobo and Dolls to a secure location. As the truck crosses the Ghost River Triangle, Wynonna says “fuck that shit” and shoots Bobo, mercy-killing him before the BBD can experiment on his faux hawk. Ain’t no one gonna tell Wynonna what to do. THEN (IKR?) outside the graveyard Wavylays touches the black demon goo and gets possessed and shoots at Wynonna and Doc. And the screen goes black. End season.

HOW YOU GONNA PLAY ME LIKE THAT, WYNONNA EARP.

Random Thoughts

Oooooo Agent Lucado has some dirt on Wynonna and I wonder what the heck it is. My guess? Wynonna is a lot more intimate with the Machetes than she name-dropped last episode.

There was a lot of really good moments this episode. Wynonna and Waverly were especially on point, with Wy willing to give up everything to save her sister. GAH. I love good sister relationships!

Dolls and Doc had some fantastic moments that I didn’t even touch on because I’m rambling enough as it is and let’s face it, Wynonna is the focus here. But I especially loved Doc spilling the truth to Nicole and I can totally see the two of them kicking ass together.

WAVYCAKES. BABY. NO. WUT R U DOIN.

Wynonna Earp needs a second season. Everyone, pitchforks at the ready.

‘Person of Interest’: “Return 0” Review

Alyssa Berkowitz

June 24, 2016

Person of Interest
Season 5, Episode 13: “Return 0″
Tuesday June 21, 2016

A few weeks back I said that writing the recap for Person of Interest’s “The Day The World Went Away” was probably the hardest recap I would have to write. Well, I was wrong. This here, “Return 0”, will probably be the hardest recap I ever have to write (at least until the next really hard one) because like many people, I am not good with endings. I don’t like the finality because I don’t know how to handle it. And this applies to television. In all honesty, I usually put off watching series finales for as long as I can. I didn’t watch the final season of Parks and Rec until 6 months after it aired, until I felt like I was emotionally ready to bid the show farewell.

“Return 0” was perfection. From the acting, to the directing, to the editing, to the score, it was a perfect farewell. But seriously. The score of this episode and the instrumentals were chillingly perfect. The finale encapsulated everything that made me fall in love with this show in the first place.

The episode starts off with the same voice over as the season premiere:

Machine-Root: “If you can hear this you’re alone. The only thing left of me is the sound of my voice. I don’t know if any of us made it. So let me tell you who we were, and how we fought back.”

On a NYC rooftop Harold is nursing a gunshot wound to the abdomen and starts talking to The Machine. The Machine is glitching though. She doesn’t know if this is the present or the past or a simulation of the future. As he sits there, waiting to die, he finally has an honest conversation with his creation, and he asks her if after all these years she had learned anything

Machine-Root: “ I learned that everyone dies alone. There was more to it than that. I can’t remember”

Harold doesn’t seem pleased with her answer, so she elaborates:

Machine-Root: “You built me to predict people Harry, but to predict them you have to truly understand them. And that proved to be very difficult indeed. So I began by breaking their lives down into moments. Trying to find the connections. The things that explained why they did what they did. And what I found was that the moment that often mattered the most. The moment that you truly found out who they were was often their last one.”

After not hearing from The Machine for a few minutes, Harold is afraid that she has left him. But when Harold turns his head he sees the face of god. We all see the face of god.

Root has visually manifested.

Harold is happy that she is back, although he would be content without continuing their morbid conversation.

Machine-Root: “It’s what you built me for. To watch people die.”
Harold: “I thought I built you to prevent that.”
Machine-Root: “Yes, but first I had to learn why people die. 56 million people die in this world every year, and I was there with all of them. You didn’t give me the capacity for despair Harry. I had to make it for myself. There were so many people I couldn’t help and after a while I came to appreciate it. The beauty of it. Human life is ephemeral, which makes you precious.”

There is an amazing break in Amy Acker’s voice when she says “I had to learn why people die.” I am not sure if it was supposed to be an audio malfunction to convey the Machine dying, or if it was the emotion behind the words. Either way, the effect was profound.

She tells Harry that there was something she once heard that helped her make sense of all of this death, but she can’t remember:

Machine-Root: “Everyone dies alone, and then something else.”

The timeline of the episode is not linear, which makes sense because The Machine isn’t able to anchor herself in the present, so when we first see Shaw it is earlier that day and she is standing in front of Root’s unmarked grave.

Shaw: “If this digital armageddon turns out to be a full-blown armageddon I figured I should say goodbye. Sorry Root, this, just isn’t my thing.”

While Shaw may think this, the very fact that she came to say goodbye to Root proves that it is her thing. After living her life not feeling things the same way other people do, Shaw made herself believe that she was incapable of feeling period. But it was just that she didn’t feel it the same way. Nobody can force Shaw to do something she doesn’t want to do. She went to Root’s grave because she wanted to say goodbye not because she felt like she had to. It’s her thing, she just does it in her own way.

Machine-Root calls Shaw while she is standing at the grave, and tells her that Samaritan dug up Root’s grave. This is horrifying but Shaw really can’t concentrate on what The Machine is saying because she is trying to figure out how she could be hearing Root’s voice right now:

Shaw: “Is this? Are you..?”
Machine-Root: “You know who I am, sweetie. Big sister.”
Shaw: “You took her voice.”

When Shaw hears Root’s voice, there is a calm that comes over her face and their amazing banter immediately begins. The conversation is cut short though because Samaritan shows up. Samaritan always ruins EVERYTHING!

Meanwhile, Fusco and Reese are getting into trouble at the station. The NYPD finally realized that they are rarely at work, and when they do show up they just ask cops to help them with unauthorized investigations. Also, the cops got a tip that John is the man in the suit. I wish we got more than a one line reference to the storyline that dominated the first two seasons, but I will give the writers a break on that one. Anyway, the two get arrested but since this is a corrupt NYC institution they are brought to a waterfront to get murdered instead of to jail.

On the way to their execution John and Lionel have a heart to heart. John apologizes to Fusco for getting him involved in this whole mess. Which isn’t really true, Fusco got involved in this whole mess because he was working with HR and was ordered to kill Reese. Which, he failed at. What John should have apologized for was being an absolute ass to Lionel for the first season and a half of the show. But, that is all water under the bridge now, and Lionel knows that ASI apocalypse or not, he is a better man for meeting Team Machine.

Luckily, The Machine hired some snipers to save these two, and Harold comes to usher them to the subway where Sameen is waiting for them. It is finally time for Fusco to meet The Machine

Shaw: “The Machine asked me to give you a copy of her core code.”
John: “To do what?”
Shaw: “She hasn’t told me yet.”

“She hasn’t told me yet.” That was Root’s famous line. I just can’t.

Harold is able to figure out what The Machine wants. Samaritan made a copy of its core codes as well, aka Baby Sammy, and they are located in an air gap chamber. New order of business: Shaw and Fusco will stay and protect The Machine while Harold and Reese kill baby Sammy. It is time for Team Machine to say what very well may be their final goodbye. Harold minces no words, just says “Goodbye then” and walks out while Reese’s final words to Fusco are “try not to die.” And true to form, Reese and Shaw do not need any final words. They can just look at each other and understand each other. They are soldiers first, they have the same drive. They don’t need words.

Shaw and Fusco

Shaw and Fusco prepare for Samaritan to raid the subway when Machine-Root tells Shaw that there is a change of plans. The new order of business: blow the fucking subway walls apart with a shit ton of C4 and get the fuck out of there. Man, I loved this scene. I just couldn’t help but smile because it was so badass and so rewarding.

The subway car pulls out of the station but that stupid Samaritan recruit Jeff hangs on like a barnacle. He comes in and shoots Shaw. This asshole needs to stop shooting all the characters I love! Luckily Fusco’s got Shaw’s back (never thought I would utter that sentence). After they tie Jeff up, Shaw realizes that this is the guy who killed Root:

Shaw: “Is this the guy who killed you? Killed her I mean?”

Shaw not being able to fully grasp that she isn’t talking to HER Root is heartbreaking.

Machine-Root: “Shaw, that doesn’t matter right now. You need to get off this train at the next stop. They might be waiting for you.”
Shaw: “What about you?”
…
Machine-Root: “I don’t think I have much time left. There’s something else I wanted to tell you before I’m gone. ”
Shaw: “Is this the part where you tell me that I should live out the rest of my days in peace? Grow an herb garden or something.”
Machine-Root: “No. I chose you for exactly who you are. But there is something I think Root had wanted to say to you. You always thought there was something wrong with you because you don’t feel things the way other people do. But she always felt that was what made you beautiful. She wanted you to know that if you were a shape, you were a straight line. An arrow.”

There is so much to unpack here. The MACHINE picked Shaw. She saw her for who she was. She knew who Shaw was and still wanted her. I also love how this reinforces how intertwined The Machine and Root really are. I know. I know that it isn’t Root. But it is also more than just her voice. They both love Sameen. They both think the same way.

And then there is what Root said. What Root wanted Shaw to know. That there is nothing wrong with her. That she is who she is. She is a line, a constant, and that is what makes her beautiful. And THAT is why Root was Shaw’s safe place, because she didn’t just allow Shaw to be herself, but she loved Shaw for being herself. And for the first time ever, we see tears come down from Sameen’s eyes. That small little sociopath who has no feelings just cried. She listened closely to those soft whispers of emotions muffled on an old tape and heard her feelings.

Harold and Reese

Harold and Reese head down to the Federal Reserve where The Machine helps Harold and Reese navigate the caves of Gringotts and then opens the huge ass vault for them. I couldn’t stop thinking how much easier everyone’s life would have been if Harold had just LET HER ACCESS THE OPEN SYSTEM. When they get into the vault Harold starts doing his computery thing while John is busy doing his fighting thing. I am really going to miss watching John’s hand to hand combat scenes. This scene is even better though because he knocks the guy out with a BRICK OF GOLD! Like how badass is that? The intertwining of action and emotion is just amazing. Why is this show so good? Why is this show over?

As Harold is uploading the virus onto baby Sammy though, Sammy initiates some backup measures that uploads a second baby Sammy onto a space satellite where the virus can’t reach. This leaves team machine with one final option: upload the last remaining core codes of The Machine into outer space where the final Machine vs. Samaritan Battle Royale will commence. Harold is apprehensive. He has run this simulation over a baggillion times and The Machine did not win once. What is different now? The Machine assures him that what is different is that she has no other choice but to win.

The big downside to this plan though is that Samaritan will launch a missile attack to wherever the Machine is uploaded. Whoever uploads The Machine will have to sacrifice their life. Since Harold started this fight he wants to be the one who ends it. So, to make sure John doesn’t try to stop him, Harold locks John inside the vault where they have a final goodbye.

Finch: “When I hired you I suspected you were gonna be a great employee. What I couldn’t have anticipated was that you would become such a good friend.”

Helpless, John just screams out at him trying to stop him. This was so sad that I felt like I was going to throw up.

Harold leaves to complete his mission but get stops by Samaritan in Time Square. Every New Yorker knows never to walk through Time Square EVER, unless it is 100% necessary. Via all of Time Square’s jumbotrons, Samaritan tries to convince Harold that Samaritan is the good guy. But Harold knows what he needs to do, and continues on with his mission.

Standing on the roof, ready to finally end this war, and meet his fate, he realizes that he isn’t on the right building. And then he hears John through his earpiece:

John: “The right building Finch. For you.”

He looks over to the adjacent building’s rooftop and sees John. John had made a deal with The Machine that if someone had to sacrifice their life for this fight, it would be John.

Machine-Root: “Sorry Harry. A deal’s a deal. You know as well as I do that he wasn’t gonna let you die.”
Finch: “This wasn’t supposed to be the way.”
John: “Sure it is. This is what I do remember? When you came to me you gave me a job, a purpose. At first well, I’ve been trying to save the world for so long, saving one life at a time seemed a bit anticlimactic. Then I realized, sometimes one life, if it’s the right life, it’s enough. Goodbye Harold.”

This scene gets to me so much that even writing about it days later makes me feel nauseous.

The evolution of this partnership has been amazing to watch. They saved each other’s lives. They gave each other companionship and meaning. When I think back on their relationship I can’t help but smile. When the two of them take care of a baby in Season One or when they are trying to give Bear a bath together in Season 2’s “In Extremis.” But more importantly I love how John will drop everything he is doing in order to save Harold. This was how it had to end for John. This was his fate. His purpose.

The Machine promises Harold that even though she is dying, she will stay with John for as long as she can. And, as she is convincing Harold to save himself, so John would not die in vain, she finally remembers the quote.

Machine-Root: “It was a police officer. He’d had to notify a family of a death. The thirty-fifth notification that he’d had to make over the years. And afterwards he said something I’d remembered.”
Cop: “They say everyone dies alone”
Cop 2: “Sure, everyone dies alone but if you mean something to someone. If you help someone or love someone. If even a single person remembers you then maybe you never really die at all.”
Machine-Root: “I know I’ve made some mistakes. Many mistakes. But we helped some people. Didn’t we?”
Finch: “Yes. Yes we did.”
Machine-Root: “Goodbye, Harold.”

The Machine finally got the approval that she always wanted from Harold. In her last dying moment, he finally found it in himself to show her compassion. Tell her she had made a difference. Showed her he cared. And in return, The Machine upholds her promise to Harold, and stays with John as long as she can to help him fight off Samaritan.

A Week or so Later

Finch goes to France and is reunited with Grace. To me this was not very important, and actually a bit disappointing. I feel like he just wiped his hands clean from it all and got an actual happy ending when no one else did. I know that is what John and Root would have wanted for him, but after this season, and what he put everyone through, his happy ending makes me a little angry.

Back to things I care about:

Shaw tracks down Jeff, where he begs for his life with the always convincing argument “I was just doing my job.”

Shaw: “In fact a few years ago I would have killed you without a second thought. But then I met some people. Some good people and they taught me the value of life.”
Jeff: “Those people, they wouldn’t want you to kill me.”
Shaw: “You’re right, but they’re all dead.”

And then shoots him straight in the chest and then goes to meet Fusco at an Irish pub. Fusco asks what her plans are and she shrugs and says:

Shaw: “I just came to collect my dog.”

In Season three, when asked why she is working with team Machine she says “I’m just in it for the dog.” And here is a perfect example of how Shaw is a line, a straight arrow. She is who she is through and through.

The Machine continues again with her monologue, her instructions she left for herself if she somehow found a way to survive this war. A way to remember:

Machine-Root: “If you can hear this you’re alone. The only thing left of me is the sound of my voice. I don’t know if any of us made it. Did we win? Did we lose? I don’t know. But either way it’s over. So let me tell you who we were. Let me tell you who YOU are. Someone once asked me if I had learned something from it all. So let me tell you what I learned. I learned everyone dies alone, but if you meant something to someone. If you helped someone. You loved someone. If even a single person remembers you then maybe you never really die. And maybe, this isn’t the end at all.”

During this voice over, Shaw hears a payphone ring while walking the streets of NYC and stops to answer it. As she listens her face again softens and she looks up at a street cam and a huge grin come onto her face. The Machine is back, the mission is back. All I ever wanted was for Bear, Shaw and Root to live happily ever after together. And while I know that didn’t happen, this is close enough to make me happy.

And with that, I very sadly bid Person of Interest farewell.

‘Wynonna Earp’s’ Emily Andras Teases Finale: “An Emotional Ride That’ll Leave You Craving More”

Jen Stayrook

June 24, 2016

Jen chats with ‘Wynonna Earp’ showrunner, Emily Andras, about the show’s season one finale, Bobo’s fabulous coat, and who Wynonna should kiss.

Spoilers through Wynonna Earp 112, “House of Memories.”

It’s today! The Wynonna Earp finale, “I Walk The Line” is today! Let’s all celebrate because it’s going to be awesome! And yet, it’s the end of the season so what the hell are we supposed to do with ourselves?

Well, if Wynonna Earp showrunner, Emily Andras, and I had our way, we’d all be on the streets with pitchforks campaigning for a second season. (Which seriously, Syfy, get on that shit already. Do me this solid.)

I had the chance to chat with Emily (an adorable nerd who loves squeeing with fans–find her on Twitter) about the Wynonna Earp finale, “I Walk The Line”. Naturally, she was a bit cryptic because spoilers are no fun, but let’s dissect the heck out of this interview until the finale, okay? I’m here for all of you, Earpers.

Jen: What can we expect from the finale? Will it end on a satisfying note for fans?

Emily: Oh my god. It will end on a complicated note for everybody. As for satisfying….define “satisfying.” The Oxford Dictionary defines “satisfying” as–No, I don’t know. Somethings I feel like are going to be very satisfactory for the fans. There is some nice book-ending, things we touched on in the premiere are revisited and reformed in the finale. It all comes back to the Earp sisters and their relationship and how much Wynonna has evolved.

But there are some incredibly tough times and emotional choices coming. There are some shocking surprises. So I hope it takes you on enough of an emotional ride that you’re satisfied but at the same time, desperately craving another season.

I love Bobo. I think I’ve made my affections clear. I love his darkness and anger; I love his subtle sweetness toward the Earp girls; I love the way he’s weaseled his way into my heart. Because of the way he’s protected Wynonna in the past, why at the end of “House of Memories” does he throw her under the bus, claiming to want her dead or alive? What’s his motive there?

I think Bobo has affections for Waverly Earp; I think he respects Wynonna; but I think he loves Willa. Or thinks he loves Willa and because of that, he needs her more than anyone else. You can be fond of a person, respect a person, and still think, “I will kill you to escape this prison.” And we’ve seen that with Bobo. Bobo’s goal since day one has been to get the hell out of the Ghost River Triangle. Now, what’s the biggest obstacle to Bobo getting out? Wynonna. What better way to distract Wynonna and keep her out of his hair, his fabulous faux hawk hair, than to have the entire town gunning for her head? It’s actually a really good strategy and it sends everything else her way for her to deal with and he can just leave willy-nilly.

(EDIT: More like Willa-nilly, AMIRITE? I thought of this pun too late.)

I think Bobo, whatever his feelings, thinks Wynonna can handle herself, but at the end of the day, he’s going to do what he wants to do. And what he wants more than anything is to get the hell out of Purgatory. So he’s going to do that. He’s the villain, after all.

So we can expect more of a showdown between them?

We definitely haven’t seen the final confrontation.

Is Willa possessed or is she finally just herself now? Is it Stockholm Syndrome or does she really love Bobo? (Obviously I can understand her emotions.)

It’s just the coat. She just wants to get her hands on that coat.

DUDE. I WANT THAT COAT.

That coat went through a lot. You’ll have to pry it from Michael Eklund’s hands. As lovely as he is, he was pretty possessive of the coat. As he should be.

So what is the deal with Willa? I kind of like it ambiguous. We have hinted at many different Willas. Kudos to Natalie Krill for playing those different layers. We’ve seen her as the cult victim who is very innocent, the amnesiac who is angry and confused, and now she’s the plotting Patty Hearst-type figure who seems to be masterminding the whole thing. Is she actually controlling the strings or is she going along with this because of years in captivity? Beyond that, there are hints that she was trained by this insane father who was maybe an alcoholic who didn’t let her have a childhood and turned her into a killer, so maybe that affected her? AND at the same time, she seemed to be a huge bully to Waverly back in the day, so there’s that to consider as well.

What would push Willa to turn against her family? Seems like the Earps have at least some pride in who they are.

Well, right now I’d say it’s a mystery. I think that is going to be so much of what Wynonna needs to solve if she’s going to save herself and the town in the finale. I can’t really speak to Willa’s state of mind. The mystery of Willa is that she’s a combination of so many things. It’s hard to tell because we’ve seen so many facets of who she is: a bully, a victim of childhood trauma. But you know, let’s not forget that regardless, she was kidnapped at 12 and kept in a treehouse for a long, long time. And then more terrible things happened to her. So even if she is a terrible person as a result of that, shouldn’t we show her some compassion and empathy because of it? That’s not to say she isn’t a sociopath to begin with, but we don’t know yet what Willa’s true makeup is and that’s what makes her such a challenging adversary going into the finale.

I mean, let’s be honest though, craziness is kind of an Earp family trait.

Yes, crazy does definitely run in the family.

Crazy and alcoholism.

I think that is a really good point. I think that she’s not a healthy puppy–we can all agree on that–and at the very least, she’s not the shiniest spoon in the drawer.

NOW TO THE IMPORTANT BUSINESS: At the end of episode 12, we got this really juicy kiss between Dolls and Wynonna. Are we going to see them kiss again and why should she be kissing Doc instead

Oh, wow. Who do you want her to kiss?

DOC. IT’S DEFINITELY DOC. Dolls is so pretty but for right now, it’s Doc. All season I’ve wavered like a plastic bag in the wind on who to choose and I couldn’t pick! These two men are toying with my emotions!

You’re like Wynonna!

OH MY GOD I’M LIKE WYNONNA.

Then I’ve done my job!

That confrontation between Doc and Waverly when he’s running away and Wavylays tells him to go her and Doc sadly responds, “Difference between us is, Nicole loves you back” and I know that’s not a foundation for a healthy relationship but that just…IT BROKE MY HEART, EMILY. I just really want him to be happy.

He’s amazing. And Tim Rozon is such an incredible being he shouldn’t even exist. He’s kind, funny, and humble too, so it doesn’t get any better if you ever meet him. He is probably the biggest fan of Wynonna Earp. He will talk about this show for hours. He could give you a run for your money.

Challenge accepted.

Okay, so I’m not going to say whether or not she kisses Dolls OR Doc in the finale, but I’m going to give you reasons why she should kiss each of them, okay?

Good. I’m a big fan of kissing.

The reasons why she should kiss Doc again: Doc understands her. He is like her. He’s a broken, cursed man who sometimes pretends to be a good person, but deep down is scared he’s not. Doc and Wynonna have the same instinct and they’re connected on a cosmic level. Destiny has its heart set on them meeting and being together. He was the best friend of her great, great grandfather and that binds them in ways no one else could with her.

The reasons why she should kiss Dolls again: Dolls is the best man she’s ever met. He’s like Wyatt Earp, an incorruptible man at heart who isn’t easily swayed by her charms. But maybe, just maybe, if she can break through to him and make him love her, it will prove that she is a good person who is worthy of love.

AWWWW. Now I just want them in a threesome forever.

Wynonna Earp’s season finale airs TONIGHT on Syfy at 10pm EST. WATCH IT, NERDS.

The Workprint Gamescast Enters the ‘Battleborn’ vs. ‘Overwatch’ Debate

Jen Stayrook

June 22, 2016

What’s up, guys and gals! Welcome to the Workprint Gamescast!

Listen to Rob, Jen, Bilal, and the gang talk about the latest in video games news, what they’re playing, and all other manner of nerdy habits.

THIS WEEK ON THE GAMESCAST: We’re back with another episode of everyone’s* favorite podcast! Rob, Jen, and Bilal discuss what they’ve been playing and definitively decide which game is better: Battleborn or Overwatch! (Spoilers: They are both great.)

*Everyone=My mother!

Introduction: 00:58

What we’ve been playing: 9:21

Games news: 23:40

Battleborn vs. Overwatch debate: 38:48

Follow the Gamescast hosts on Twitter!

Rob: @Sunnyvice20
Jen: @JenStayrook
Bilal: @Bilal_Mian

Want to watch our shenanigans live? Check out the Workprint Twitch channel.

‘Scream’ review (2×04): TEQUILA!!!

Matt Perri

June 22, 2016

SCREAM
Season 2, Episode 4
“Happy Birthday to Me”
Airdate: June 20, 2016
GRADE: D+

“Don’t do drugs, kids!”
— Audrey, MTV’s Scream

I’ve been to a lot of parties. Yeah, they involved drinking to the point of puking out one’s spleen and some make-out sessions (thankfully, before the “puking out the spleen” part) and a lot of pot. Scream’s fourth episode of its sophomore season involves two out of the three, which is all well and good but it doesn’t add up to much of anything before petering out and giving us a “shocking” climax that’s shameless ripped off from better material.

Last episode, if you’ll recall, I lamented that Brooke was ruining this show. There were more than a few of you who thought I was being too harsh and that Brooke wasn’t really a piece of broccoli with blonde hair. Oh, fair enough. Maybe you’re ri–OMG: Brooke is breaking up with Jake for the third time in four episodes. “Now you’re not even texting!?!? WTF??? We’re really done.” she angrily texts — only to have “Jake” respond that he’s “waiting for her to beg”. Considering that Brooke likes abuse and pseudo-sexual games, this should be a turn-on — but Brooke ain’t impressed with it and keeps up her combative tone over text message. Please, MTV: spare us NOTHING.

Jake, as you may remember, is very, very dead. He was killed off in the new season’s first episode. He’s been dead for about a week if I’m counting the show’s 24-hour days correctly. In this time, Brooke went from slightly concerned girlfriend, to reporting him missing to nothing at all. But, since Brooke’s incompetence can only fool time and space for so long, Lakewood’s Finest finally clue in to the notion that something’s not quite right. This leads us to an intense scene where Sheriff Acosta makes his way to Jake’s house to see just what’s going on. Turn out the lights, boys and girls, and lock your doors…this is some creepy shit:

(BEGIN SCENE.)
(Sheriff Acosta walks up to Jake’s porch and knocks on the front door.)
Acosta: Jake! I gotta talk to you!
(Acosta waits for an answer for two seconds…then leaves.)
(END SCENE.)

I KNOW! I was on the edge of my seat that entire 15 seconds just like you!

These minute details, however, are mere window dressing for Keiran’s arbitrary “birthday” and the “party” that ensues because Keiran’s turning…um…I don’t know. Nobody really gives us Keiran’s overall age and no mention of Keiran’s birthday’s been made in any of the preceding episodes so, yay! Let’s have an episode where Keiran’s having a birthday party just because! This is fucking Glee without the Kidz Bop musical numbers. I cannot emphasize that enough. Keiran’s brother, Eli, can “handle that booze portion of the evening”. He’s got a phony ID that makes McLovin look legit.

Bill Hanstock, a colleague of mine, once noted (and I’m gonna butcher this; sorry, Bill!) that the high school in Fox’s “Glee” was nothing like a real high school because it was written by people who had probably never been to high school and based their idea of high school on some guy describing what he saw in a John Hughes movie. The same logic can be applied to Keiran’s party: “Jake” sends Keiran a bottle of tequila that’s “super expensive” thanks to the “extra anejo” (which, according to Google, is the new black) in it. Brooke accepts this(!) as a sign that “Jake” is “back” from “Mexico” — but trashes the birthday card that came with it, so she’s not totally over things. Guess what? The tequila is not only “super expensive”, it’s also “super toxic” and makes everyone at the party puke.

Moments later.

At the same time.

For extended periods of time.

All over every single part of the house including the front lawn.

And not one neighbor believes this to be strange.

It’s only at this point that ‘Stavo (who, with a name like that, desperately needs a Latin pop album and models clinging to his arm at Ryan Seacrest’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve each time we see him) reveals that there’s probably a powerful drug called “Ayahuasca” in the stuff. Everyone worries but ‘Stavo eases everyone’s fears: “It’s harmless. Once the puking stops, we’ll start hallucinating.” Oh. Ok. Instead of everyone wondering how ‘Stavo knows the Tequila had this drug in it, Noah digs this shit up on Google and finds out that ancient Peruvian natives used it to trip out and become one with “spiritual guides”.

Wait…what’s ‘Stavo doing here anyhow? “I don’t like him…but maybe he’s harmless,” Brooke explains to Audrey, who isn’t convinced. Mainly because ‘Stavo, much like the creepy guy at your local IHOP, spends time menacingly eye-fucking half the cast, including Audrey. It’s also because she saw a bunch of ‘Stavo’s art on his unguarded tablet (what kind of “red herring serial killer” doesn’t guard his shit?) and it’s of the entire “Lakewood Six” and features a gruesome crown jewel: Emma being stabbed in the back of the head and bleeding from every orifice on her face because of it. In the very same episode, Noah explains that ‘Stavo is a comic book geek and loves to draw. Even so, this is weirdly psychotic and even more obvious red herring than Seth Branson’s sudden creeper turn. We can only hope it will pay off. In his own creepy way, ‘Stavo suggests that everyone (and, by “everyone”, I mean The Lakewood ~~Six~~ Five) will start tripping fucking balls and seeing shit that isn’t there.

Look, I’m real familiar with the “trippy episode” trope. If we wanna go recent, ABC had a couple of wins with LOST (Shannon and Boone) and Betrayal (a couple pops E during a wedding and has a sexually-laced euphoric trip), True Blood did it throughout the first season of their show and USA’s Mr. Robot and Satisfaction had a decent episodes involving drugs and the personality-altering catharsis that each character has as a result.

The difference here? None of the characters in Scream have anything resembling such an awakening. Instead, MTV gives us three hackneyed scenes:

Brooke breathlessly panting helplessly on a bed while ‘Stavo massages her foot while “Jake” appears out of nowhere like a young, hunky Obi-Wan Kenobi, warning her that ‘Stavo’s gonna try to have sex with her and the only way to stop him is to learn the ways of the Force.
Audrey sees her dead ex-girlfriend walking around with a noose still around her neck. They make out — only to see Audrey waking up and realizing she’s making out with Noah. Then with Zoe.
Emma chases her younger self into the woods outside her place (there’s always woods around every house in Lakewood) and nearly gets knifed by The Killer who turns out to be her Dad who’s at the party because reasons.

So, to recap: The Killer, disguised as Jake, sends a bottle of Tequila laced with hallucinogenic properties to somebody’s birthday party hoping everyone will drink the shit out of it and have insanely intense yet frighteningly real hallucinations — only to see most of the party puking while the rest of the Lakewood Six have creepy fever dreams that transform into late-90’s Cinemax-style masturbatory fantasies.

The good news is that Jake’s death is finally revealed to the rest of the characters on the show. The bad news is that it’s so lame and tacked-on and highly illogical and silly as The Killer manages to not only haul Jake’s body up on the Lakewood Theater stage rafters above their also-arbitrary beauty pageant, they also somehow keep the body from dripping blood and clean up after themselves so as not to leave a bloody trail of Jake everywhere — and then dropping his body in front of Brooke while soaking her in blood (a’la “Carrie”) for maximum emotional impact.

How did The Killer lug Jake’s body around undetected all that time? How did nobody in the theater notice Jake in the rafters while doing sound, light and rigging checks? They had to unfurl the banner during rehearsal at some point, right? How did they know that Brooke would be standing in the perfect spot? These are questions you don’t have to ask because Scream just doesn’t care. Things happen and they don’t make sense and you just have to shrug and be like, “Meh…fuck it, hopefully the next scene will be better.” All of this just fails to shock me because the more inspired the showrunners think they are, the more predictable the show becomes. The good thing about Jake’s death reveal is that we can hopefully move beyond Brooke text messaging Jake 800 times a show at 6,000 WPM and get to some meatier stuff.

The episode’s only genuinely human moment, not surprisingly, comes from Noah and Audrey following the party. Noah seems to have such a good heart and it’s telling that he confronts Audrey about their kiss first instead of Zoe who has absolutely zero chemistry. After failing to clear the air with his friend and then getting shot down by Zoe, Noah just stands there, speechless and alone with a look of confusion and hurt on his face and you can’t help but feel for him. In just 24 hours, he had friendship and love only to see it crash, burn and fade into nothing.

Unfortunately, the bad outweighs the good here. The episode is disjointed, going from one half-baked idea to the next without so much as a payoff. Because of this, we’re left with another wasted episode that features 30 minutes of padding and which advances nothing except to split Audrey and Noah and give us the true end of Jake. Left hanging is Emma’s Dad who, I swear, has the same two or three lines about “wanting to see Emma” and the appearance of Emma’s little girl ghost and what that means to the overall arc.

It’s not the worst thing MTV’s given us from this show, but it’s close.

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1957-1959

2044

Final Thoughts

10. Tower of Joy

9. Dorne-less

8. Brienne saves her girl

7. Cersei sits on the Iron Throne

6. Jon and Sansa Reunited

5. Arya saves Lady Crane

4. Hold the Door

3. Jon’s Revival

2. Winterfell Reclaimed

1. Dany sails for Westeros

D’AVIN

DUTCH AND JOHNNY

ARKYN

WHAT NEXT?

Best lines of the episode:

WELLS AND JOJO SITTING IN A TREE ……..

AND THEN THERE WERE FIVE …….

THE TWO ON ONE ………..

COCKTAIL PARTY AND ROSE CEREMONY …….

Final Thoughts:

King’s Landing

Dorne

Oldtown

The Twins

North of the Wall

Winterfell

Meereen

Random thoughts

Shaw and Fusco

Harold and Reese

A Week or so Later