I am the worst when it comes to platform video games. I’ve loved and played them since before I can even remember, Mario, Sonic, Metroid, Castlevania, all of the classics. You would think that with 25 years experience under my thumb I would be better equipped to handle such games.
And if you watched me play Tembo the Badass Elephant, you would quickly realize that experience means nothing in my hands.
Tembo is an action platformer from developers Game Freak (that’s right, those Pokemon nerds) that harkens back to the Sonic games of old, back before 3D became an obnoxious “bonus.” You take the role of the Rambo elephant, intent on saving Shell City from the dastardly, mustache-strokingly evil PHANTOM. As you blaze through levels scoring peanuts instead of rings, you have the option to rescue civilians trapped in fragile glass cages, bringing them along for the fast-paced ride through each level. Or in my case, the fast-paced ride to gruesome death.
There’s also a baddie death tally for each level which is important because that overall total allows you access to later levels. Haven’t murdered enough purple dudes? Go back a level and make sure you’ve killed them all. Rescue a few more civilians while you’re at it because you probably missed a bunch, you half-assed hero.
While the game wants you to play as fast-paced as the Sonics of yore, you can’t. Too many traps await you, be it baddies with knives, electrical currents, and fire EVERYWHERE. Not to mention the fact that you do need to stop and kill every PHANTOM baddie you come across if you plan on moving forward in levels. I suppose you could stop to rescue the idiots who were captured if you’ve got a completionist personality. With all that in mind, you’re less likely to spend your time BADA BADAing across the level and instead jumping and dodging attacks, spraying your snot water to put out fire, and figuring out puzzles to earn a few extra peanuts. It’s not a *bad* thing, it’s simply the game is promoted as a zooming elephant flying across levels, tucked into a ball, and killing everything in sight, and that’s most assuredly not the case.
I do enjoy it the game. It has a good feel to it. The animation and hand-drawn comic action noises are a subtle and entertaining touch. Most of the controls are simple enough to master though there’s this point between controls where instead of dashing you can end up as a ball, hurling down toward the ground, which is particularly frustrating when the floor is paper thin, easily destroyed by your hulking frame, so you plummet to your death, again and again and again.
Tembo isn’t a long game, only 18-levels, and even with the inevitability of going back and repeating levels a few times, it still feels a bit short. That being said, for $15, I felt I got my money’s worth in content. The levels do offer a bit of a challenge and while you can earn extra lives from all the peanuts you’ve collected, you’ll probably end up dying more than you like to admit. Even the bosses offer some challenge, but as long as you aren’t five years old or me, they shouldn’t be too rage-inducing.
All in all, Tembo is a fun time-waster of a game. Don’t expect an in-depth story about how Tembo left his family in the jungle and ran off to save Shell City as a means to provide for them and then picks up a terrible peanut butter habit. It’s meant to be simple, silly, and fun, something you can play for thirty minutes and then put down; all of which it succeeds at.
7.5/10
Tembo was played on the XBOX One but is also available on the PS4 and Windows.
Are you ready for Christmas in July? Sony Pictures brings us the trailer to The Night Before starring Seth Rogen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Anthony Mackie as three best friends who’ve spent the holidays together for years. Their long tradition is coming to an end and what ensues is comic mayhem.
View the trailer:
Here’s the official synopsis:
Ethan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), Isaac (Seth Rogen) and Chris (Anthony Mackie) have been friends since childhood, and for a decade, their yearly Christmas Eve reunion has been an annual night of debauchery and hilarity. Now that they’re entering adulthood, the tradition is coming to an end, and to make it as memorable as possible, they set out to find the Nutcracka Ball – the Holy Grail of Christmas parties.
The film is directed by Jonathan Levine and also starts Mindy Kaling, Jillian Bell, and Lizzy Caplan. The Night Before is set to be released November 25.
True Detective Season 2, Episode 6 – “Church in Ruins”
Air date: July 26, 2015
In many ways, “Church in Ruins” feels like the episode that audiences have been waiting for from True Detective’s second season. Nearly all of the elements work well here: the character and emotional moments land effectively, the final set piece is tense and thrilling, and tangible progress has been made on an investigation that has been plagued with cold leads and dead ends. It might be too little too late to make up for the season’s uneven trajectory, but “Church in Ruins” provides a strong push into the show’s final episodes.
Ray confronts Frank for a long overdue conversation about the man responsible for his wife’s rape all those years ago. Ray believes that Frank set him up intentionally to gain leverage over him, and the two stare each other down with one hand on the table and the other on their guns. There’s nothing terribly surprising about how the scene plays out; the dialogue is well-written but laden with typical, cynical musings about Ray’s true nature despite his insistence that he would’ve been different had he not gone down that path (“Of all the lies people tell themselves, I bet that’s the most common,” Frank retorts). Though it was very unlikely that the scene would have escalated into a firefight, both Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn instill the scene with a genuine intensity. The scene is also punctuated with some unexpected humor, thanks mostly to Vaughn’s excellent delivery of “I’m gonna put my other hand up now… Don’t you fucking shoot me, Raymond.”
True Detective has struggled with its characterization this season, but “Church in Ruins” succeeds in delivering some compelling moments, bolstered in no small part by the strong performances of Vince Vaughn and Rachel McAdams. In perhaps Frank’s best scene to date, he visits the wife of his dead associate Stan, and offers their son some wise words of comfort. It’s an excellent scene that elegantly brings together so much of Frank’s character–his philosophy, compassion, understanding, and his own lack of a father figure compounded with his desire to have a child of his own. Ani, meanwhile, finally infiltrates one of the underground sex parties that have been alluded to the entire season, but finds herself drugged and having to escape with Vera, the missing girl from her other case. It’s a blurry, hazy scene that occasionally flashes back to Ani’s sexual abuse as a child, but McAdams delivers a strong performance that captures her struggles against both the drugs and her traumatic flashbacks, as well as her strength and determination to escape alive. The scene is tense and thrilling as the compromised Ani fights (and stabs, finally) her way out of the party and the two manage to reach the car with Paul (who has stolen a number of contracts from the party) and Ray.
One minor issue of the episode is the largely unnecessary exposition that breaks up the much stronger scenes. As we near the season finale, the floodgates on plot developments are opening, but most of the minor plot points still feel a little disjointed or redundant. For example, state’s attorney Davis makes an appearance to remind everyone that Ani’s working the parties, Paul’s working the diamonds, and Ray is looking for Irina Rulfo in a scene that isn’t terribly informative otherwise. Paul’s investigation of the diamonds leads him from an insurance office to a retired cop’s front porch, while Frank’s own search for Irina has him jumping through hoops and making deals with the Mexican drug dealers who visited Frank’s club. Ray finally tells Frank about Blake’s involvement in the parties with Chessani and Osip, and Frank in turn offers the man who originally tipped Ray to the suspected rapist in exchange for the blackmail-filled hard drive. It feels almost like the show is busy trying to get its own characters up to speed and on the same page.
With only two episodes left in the season, True Detective is picking up steam and the central mystery of the season is rapidly unfolding. Much of the exposition and plotting in “Church in Ruins” could have been more streamlined, but it doesn’t detract too much from the strong character development and tense final set piece.
I believe Frank’s telling the truth when he says he didn’t set Ray up. Do you?
The blood in the shack is female, which means it might not be where Caspere was tortured/killed.
Two children survived the blue diamonds robbery in 1992 (a professional job with missing security tapes and execution of the store owners) and ended up in foster care: Leonard and Laura Osterman.
The Mexican drug dealers are are two-for-two at getting the jump on Frank and his men.
Halo 5: Guardians is one of the most anticipated titles to come out this year. Many Halo fans are counting down the days until its October 27 release. Since it’s brief gameplay demo at E3, and mysterious trailers featuring Agent Locke, fans have demanded to know more. Thankfully that day has finally come.
Over on the Halo website’s blog, studio head Josh Holmes has released new details for the upcoming title. According to the blog, this is the beginning of a new series that will pull the curtain back on development. If you’re a Halo super fan, its definitely something worth following.
In the blog post Holmes discusses the origins of the Halo campaign and how it is catered to a single player experience. While you can play multiplayer, it’s more of a carbon copy to lighten the load on the main players game.
“…at its core, Halo’s campaign was originally built to be a single-player experience, first and foremost. So when you joined a friend in their campaign session, you were coming along for the ride and helping to lighten the load. Mechanically, the game was designed with the single-player experience in mind and so the narrative perspective of campaign also remained focused on telling the story of a lone hero.”
One thing that the team at 343 wants to achieve with Halo 5: Guardians is a true co-op experience. They want each player to feel unique, like they are really making a difference on the team. This new viewpoint excited the team, and really drove them forward.
“That changes with Halo 5: Guardians as we have committed to co-operative campaign at a fundamental level. This creative pillar has influenced many decisions throughout the game’s technology and design. While you can still expect the same great single-player experience that Halo campaigns have been known for, engaging in co-operative play gives the campaign a new level of depth and richness.”
Even when playing solo, the games co-op mechanics are still in tact. There will always be four Spartans playing at the same time. However, if you do not have any friends available, the other teammates will be controlled by the new “Fireteam AI”. As leader of the AI team, you will be able to give your members orders such as where to place there fire and when to hold back.
In the Halo 5: Guardians campaign there will be two distinct modes: Single Player and Co-op. Each will have their own separate save files. The host of the game (now with dedicated servers) will be the leader of a fire team, taking on the role of either Master Chief or Agent Locke. Your friends joining in on the fun will choose from one of your 3 allies.
One aspect that will add to the replayability of this game is the distinction between the two teams. Holmes went on to say, “We’ve deliberately designed these two teams to provide visual contrast with one another. Blue Team have a heavier, more weathered feel. Their technology is proven, reliable, and practical in nature. Fireteam Osiris represent a new generation of Spartans. Their armor is sleek and modern, technologically advanced and displaying less wear.”
The amount of detail that has gone into each team member is extremely impressive. The team at 343 wanted to make sure that no matter which character you use, your experience will be unique. This even comes down to each individuals HUD.
“Each character’s HUD has been painstakingly designed by our artists to reflect the visual language of that particular Spartan. So Locke’s HUD has aggressive lines that follow the curvature of his visor while Linda’s enhanced optics are represented in muted tones that reflect her armor palette.”
Outside of aesthetic changes, each character will also have a different weapon load out to match their personality. While core mechanics will remain the same across the board, each team member will have their own unique abilities. Holmes goes on to say, “There are also subtle differences between the characters in terms of attributes. For example: Kelly is the fastest member of Blue Team, while Tanaka has increased motion tracker range.”
The last bit of information given is that the game will feature a new “revive” mechanic, somewhat similar to the Gears of War series. Once you or a team mate is taken down, you have the ability to revive the other player in a set amount of time. This was done to make sure that the co-op action never has a chance to slow down.
Are you excited for Halo 5: Guardians? Or does the new co-op focus have you a little worried? Let us know in the comments down below!
Every day this week we will recap each film of the Mission: Impossible franchise, leading up to our review of “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation”. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to sit back and enjoy as we look back at nearly 20 years of the Mission: Impossible film series!
And if you missed the first entry, you can start here:
The one that ditches the complicated, dense plotting and international post-Cold War intrigue of the first film and gives us a film that is far different in terms of mood and tone. It’s basically “Mission: Impossible Anime” with balls-to-the-wall action. Also, it has Anthony Hopkins because reasons.
Gone is Elfman’s retro spy-and-cocktails musical chic. It’s replaced by a grinding (yet, fitting for this movie) musical score by Hans Zimmer with an assist from Fred Durst who single-handedly bursts your eardrums with a metal version of the Mission: Impossible theme.
But, I’m getting ahead of myself…
This time around, Hunt finds himself in the middle of Australia, trying to stop a former IMF agent (Dougray Scott) from getting his hands on a dangerous virus so that he and his gang can rake in the stock profits on the cure they also possess, when the virus is unleashed on the public by his partners. Hunt is joined by the free-spirited Billy Baird (John Polson) and tech guru from the last film, Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames). The action is insane in this film and every set piece is filmed with tender, loving care as John Woo gives us a violently surreal ballet.
The script from Robert Towne, meanwhile, ranges from hammy to overwrought to blatantly sexist/misogynist with such gems as:
Ethan: No. She’s got no training for this kind of thing.
Swanbeck: What? To go to bed with a man and lie to him? She’s a woman – she’s got all the training she needs.
And…
Ambrose: Suppose she IS some sort of Trojan horse sent in by IMF to spy on us…why should I deny myself the pleasure of a ride or two?
And…
Ambrose: You know women, mate. Like monkeys, they are: won’t let go of one branch until they’ve got hold of the next!
Sheesh.
Best scene:
There are those who’d say that the lab raid was the best scene. I’d say that had the best music. For me, it’s Ethan and Nyah (Thandie Newton) locking eyes for the first time at the flamenco dance hall in Spain. The music is spot on, the slow-motion photography catches two people who have an immediate connection beyond the obvious cat-and-mouse game they’re about to play and it’s beautifully hypnotic.
Best line:
Swanbeck: You’re saying it’ll be difficult?
Ethan: Very.
Swanbeck: Well, this isn’t “Mission: Difficult”, Mr. Hunt, it’s “Mission: Impossible”. “Difficult should be a walk in the park for you.
Actual best line:
Ambrose (to Ethan): You know, that was the hardest part about having to portray you: GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES!
Personal recollections:
I saw this prior to a shift I had when I was working retail and I think I saw it like four more times after that. Being the complete John Woo fanboy, I ate this up like the red meat it was intended to be and I wanted more. Watching it again, the film still has some beautiful moments and the pacing is awesome and, really, it’s a fine action film — but it’s sad to see the entire concept of Mission: Impossible being replaced with Tom Cruise zipping around on a motorcycle while shooting at Ambrose, big gun battles, an epic martial arts-fueled fight to the death on a beach. It’s just not what the TV show was. Doesn’t matter, I suppose. Paramount had a cash cow on their hands and Hollywood is rarely interested in subtlety when it comes to films based on old television shows. They did kick it back a notch and mixed in some of the complex plotting from the original show for the third film — but the movie is easily the weakest of the series. I highly recommend Hans Zimmer’s soundtrack, though. That’s the highlight of the film. He was scoring Ridley Scott’s Gladiator at the same time he was scoring this movie (even Lisa Gerard is heard singing on both) and, I must say, this soundtrack is far more memorable than Gladiator. The tracks, “Seville” and “Injection” alone make the score worth the price.
Other interesting things you might not have known:
Returning as a producer, Cruise actually offered director Brian De Palma the director’s chair again. Surprisingly, De Palma declined directing the sequel, sending Cruise and Paramount on the hunt for a new director. After receiving a treatment and commitment from Oliver Stone of all people, the sequel seemed ready to go. But, due to scheduling conflicts with Tom Cruise and his commitment to Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut, Stone ended up backing out. The studio finally settled on famed director John Woo, who was still reaping the success of his 1997 action hit, Face/Off.
The original cut of the film was about 3 1/2 hours long and was initially R-rated, but Paramount told Woo to cut it down to a two-hour run time and curb the violence to meet their PG-13 demographic. Blood was removed during the gun battles as was the sound of cracking bones during fights or physical altercations (check out the part where Ambrose and Hunt break the necks of two different characters — you see it, but don’t hear it) and the martial arts scenes were edited in such a way that the moves performed don’t look as brutal when they’re executed.
Dougray Scott was originally supposed to play Wolverine in X-Men, but had to drop out when the shooting for this movie went long. Ironically, Sir Ian McKellen was asked to play Swanbeck but couldn’t due to a theater commitment in London.
Like the “Akvarium” restaurant in the original Mission: Impossible, Ambrose’s waterfront house was not real. It was a set constructed at Bradley’s Head in Australia and made of polystyrene and other fabricated materials. It was completely destroyed following shooting.
It was Cruise’s then-wife, Nicole Kidman, who wanted to cast Thandie Newton in the role of Nyah. Kidman worked with Newton on the film, Flirting. She was allegedly cast before the script was even written.
This was the very first feature film for which Metallica wrote a brand-new song,
At E3 2014, Konami made waves with the announcement that Hideo Kojima, creator of the Metal Gear Solid series, and famous movie director Guillermo del Toro would be collaborating on a future project. At the show they announced that the game would kick off with a mysterious Playstation exclusive demo, known only as PT (Playable Trailer).
It was later revealed to be a new game in the Silent Hill series, known then as Silent Hills. With the excitement from the demo, and knowing the great work from both involved, the horrific possibilities in my mind were endless. I couldn’t wait to hear more.
Sadly, the project wasn’t meant to be. In a very public spat between Kojima and Konami, the publisher quickly began erasing Kojima and his team from all future projects. This included removing Kojima’s name from the much anticipated Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (releasing this September), as well as ex-sponging the existence of the PT demo off of the Playstation Store. (Be careful: Even if you already own the demo on your system, there is no way to redownload the software if you happen to lose it.)
In an interview with IGN, del Toro spoke fondly of the project. “We were in the planning stages, and it’s a shame it’s not going to happen. We were talking about really pushing the boundaries of the new consoles, and making the game really mess with your head. One of the great moments in Metal Gear [Solid] was Psycho Mantis. The idea that a game can actually interact with you, and stuff like that.” Reading those words made the loss of the project even harder for this gaming enthusiast.
The good news is that Del Toro also brought to light that he and Kojima may still work on a project in the future; it just wont be Silent Hills. “I love working with Kojima-san. We are still in touch. We are still friends and working into doing something together, but that’s not going to be [Silent Hills].”
While we may have lost Silent Hills, an original project may be better for the duo. It may allow them to really stretch their creative muscles. Are you excited for this new, mysterious project? Or are you still mourning the loss of Silent Hills? Let us know in the comments down below!
Every day this week we will recap each film of the Mission: Impossible franchise, leading up to our review of Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to sit back and enjoy as we look back at nearly 20 years of the Mission: Impossible film series!
First up…
MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE (1996)
Which one was this again?
The first one. The one that started it all. The one that everyone I knew called “confusing”, which led critics who didn’t get it to call it “convoluted”, even though the film spelled everything out to the audience and paid them for their patience with kick-ass action sequences. The movie was the first project for “Cruise/Wagner Productions”, the former production company created by Tom Cruise. It was conceived using an $80 million dollar budget which was basically because of Cruise wanting a “big, flashy show”.
The movie also featured a $15 million dollar ad campaign from Apple. On top of featuring the PowerBook 540C, the company launched an immersive online game linked to the movie (something not many films did back then), had print ads in magazines and newspapers and even produced a commercial with scenes from the film.
The movie is very stylish. Having Brian De Palma at the helm does that to a film. Seriously, whether you want it or not, you’re getting style. If you were a family member and you handed the camcorder to your cousin, Brian De Palma, the part where you exchange vows with your S.O. would be really intense.
But his style works. The claustrophobic camera work and angular shots add a nice dimension to the paranoid mood of the film and Danny Elfman’s score is very much old school, brilliantly mimicking the tackiness of a 60’s spy show with heavy militaristic drums and horns — and the occasional bongo drum to smooth it all out because spies are hip, baby. Arguably, this might have been De Palma’s last good movie.
The film is everything great about Hitchcock merged with the WTF-is-going-on formula of the series.
The movie follows Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise), an agent of the CIA’s off-the-books “IMF” (Impossible Missions Force) as he and his team shadow a man who has downloaded the CIA’s NOC List (a covert list of operatives and their code names) so that they can apprehend him and his mysterious buyer. However, after everyone in his crew ends up dead in what looks like a designed counter-strike, Ethan is framed for their deaths as well as embezzlement — his parents’ accounts suddenly appear to have hundreds of thousands of dollars in them. Hunt soon finds out that the man who stole the list in Prague was a “decoy”, part of a CIA counter-mission designed to draw out a mole in the organization — and they suspect Ethan was that mole. After escaping CIA custody and going off the IMF grid, Ethan vows to steal the real list directly from CIA Headquarters in Virginia in order to bait, draw out and confront the real person responsible — and clear his own name.
Best scene:
Easily, the “Vault Scene”. This is De Palma at his best. The vault contains a secret list of spies with both their code names and true names as well as their respective places of residence. Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) and his merry band of spy misfits from the “Disavowed List” (including series mainstay Ving Rhames as “Luther Stickell”) break into this room to steal the NOC List. The room has one guard and its very own ecosystem. When nobody is inside, the room is set at a constant temperature of 72 degrees, has a pressure-sensitive floor that can register a small drop of water falling on it and has a noise-detection system. If the temperature in the room goes to 73 or if anything hits the floor or anything above a whisper is heard, alarms and large men with guns raid the room.
The entire sequence is a master class in the art of the suspenseful cinematic heist and is as ironic a heist as they come: it doesn’t feature guns, a chase scene or explosions. It’s graceful, quiet and the entire scene leaves you absolutely breathless. You feel like you’re right there with him and you don’t want to breathe too heavy or even whisper for fear that, if you do, you’ll set off the alarm, too.
Best line:
Kittridge: Why don’t we quietly get out of here and get on a plane? I can understand you’re very upset…
Ethan: Kittridge, you’ve never SEEN me “very upset”.
Actual best line:
Claire Phelps: Ethan…you knew about Jim…?
Jim Phelps: Of course. Just exactly WHEN he knew is something of a question. Mind telling me, Ethan? Before or after I showed up in London?
Ethan: Before London…but AFTER you took the Bible from the Drake Hotel in Chicago.
Jim: They stamped it, didn’t they? Those damn Gideons.
Personal recollections:
I have fond memories of this movie. I saw this right as I was graduating high school and everything was getting easy-going. I was invited out to see it with a friend of mine who was an intern at Apple. I wasn’t totally enthralled the first time around, mainly because I wasn’t paying attention. The second time made everything coherent. The film’s soundtrack was also the first CD I played after getting my very own car and I have fond memories of pumping the re-worked Mission: Impossible theme as I roared through the “mean streets” of Pleasanton. Awwwwsyeah. In all seriousness, I really like this film. I love the casting, the way the film was shot and I can even excuse the Jim Phelps thing. I liked the idea that he became disillusioned after the Cold War ended and turned his back on his country. It has great set pieces. The opening mission is expertly shot and it’s believable. It’s really too bad the second film had to ditch what intelligence the first film offered up…
Other interesting things you might not have known:
Alan Silvestri was originally tapped to score the film but left the project due to alleged “creative differences” with Tom Cruise. His score can be found on YouTube.
Apple was almost bankrupt at the time the movie was released. It had just posted an inconceivable $740 million dollar fiscal loss in the previous quarter and was attempting to revitalize their image by placing their line of “PowerBook” laptops in virtually every single movie for the next year.
Several of the original series’ cast and crew members hated the film or simply did not agree with what De Palma and his screenwriters had done:
Reza Badiyi had directed the lion’s share of the original series and was asked, by the head of Paramount, to be a consultant on the set. De Palma basically approached him and told him the series was great but that the movie was going to be “nothing like it”, and told him that they’d just get in each other’s way. Bardiyi left and never returned.
Greg Morris (who played “Barney Collier” in the original series) and Peter Graves (who originally played Jim Phelps) were disgusted with the treatment of the Jim Phelps character. Graves was initially invited to reprise his role — but refused it when he found out that Phelps was going to be a traitor.
Martin Landau was also invited back to play a role but was disgusted with the initial scripting, stating that the screenwriters wanted to murder each and every member of the original team and make it an action-adventure thriller instead of the “mind game” the series was.
That really cool “Akvarium” restaurant was a set built from scratch. It doesn’t exist in the real world, much to the chagrin of many a movie tourist. The interior and exterior shots were shot at a Paramount soundstage. The only thing shot in Prague, involving the restaurant, was the single shot of Cruise, from behind, running away with the water behind him.
There was supposed to be a sex scene (or at least an intense make-out scene) between Ethan and Claire — but it didn’t make the final cut. A small clip of it can be seen in the film’s trailer.
Ethan never fires a gun. In fact, this is the only film in the series not to have a gun battle or shootout.
Season 1, Episode 6: “Everything is Everything” Original Air Date: July 26th, 2015 Grade: C
I’m not sure exactly when Spencer’s deal with Tracy is, but it’s kind of weird. The sixth episode of Ballers, “Everything is Everything”, starts with Spencer throwing a football with a kid. I’m not sure if it’s his kid, Tracy’s kid, or a random kid, but it’s a kid nonetheless. After some terrible banter (I’ve got an arm like Rodgers!) Tracy confronts Spencer about ducking his MRI and finally convinces him to reschedule and get it done. Immediately after that, Spencer gets nailed in the back of the head with the football thrown by the kid and goes off on him. Real smooth there, Strasmore.
While Spencer is dealing with minor head trauma from a foam football, Charles gets kicked out of the house last week, and we pick up on him heading to Ricky’s “Funhouse”. The Funhouse is apparently an entire mansion that Ricky has kept, including two staffers paid to upkeep the house, which is basically his sex palace set aside to party and hookup with girls. How Ricky does this behind his girlfriend’s back is a genuine mystery. How do you not know of a mansion stocked exclusively for infidelity? Of course, Charles being a newly liberated man, embraces his freedom. After Ricky gives Charles the MTV Cribs style tour of the Funhouse, Ricky finds out his teammate’s mother has spilled the beans on their relationship and has gone to TMZ about it.
After Ricky’s dalliance is public knowledge, he scrambles to find solid footing so he can keep his career going. Luckily, Spencer is on his side, and urging him to keep calm, Spencer arranges an interview with Jay Glazer so Ricky can tell his side of the story. Just prior to the interview, Ricky has a mini-breakdown, and Spencer tells him to just be himself, and the ensuing interview breaks down enough walls and makes enough of a splash to get Ricky out of the doghouse. For now.
While Spencer is making life better for Ricky, Vernon is going through some troubles with his blackmail. Reggie forces Spencer to come clean about possibly knowing the blackmailer. And then nothing happens, which pretty much is now the M.O. with Ballers. At the end of the meeting, nothing comes of it except the title of the episode, and Joe is sent off to deal with Maximo.
By the end of the episode, Charles goes back to his wife after tracking him down to the Funhouse, and we are literally back to where we were last week. Spinning tires is the entire theme of the show so far. Spencer’s big cliffhanger last episode lead to absolutely nothing. The meeting between Vernon? Nothing. Ballers is becoming like Entourage, and I don’t mean that in a good way. Give me growth and give me plot arcs that aren’t resolved in 30 minutes or less please.
Mekazoo is a new 2D platformer from the developers at The Good Mood Creators set in stunning jungle landscape with 3D elements. It is set to release for PS4, Xbox One, PC, and Wii U sometime in the beginning of 2016. A new multiplayer game mode will debut at PAX Prime 2015, allowing users the option of local co-op gameplay.
In Mekazoo, the stylish mekanimals challenge levels in pairs as a tag team, seamlessly switching between each other at the touch of a button. In cooperative multiplayer, each player controls a single mekanimal, the inactive player controlling only the “switch” button to transform to their animal, creating dynamic moments of teamwork and cooperation.
Overcoming certain obstacles requires the ability specific to one character in the duo, so in order to advance through each level players must alternate between the two characters. Oftentimes players will need to quickly switch back and forth between both mekanimals to progress, making proper timing essential when tagging characters in and out.
Players control up to five different mekanimals: the speedy armadillo, acrobatic frog, springy wallaby, powerful panda and high-flying pelican.
Mekazoo opens with the armadillo’s discovery his four friends have been transformed into huge, angry bosses by the evil insectoid army. When a mekanimal boss is defeated, it returns to its original small friendly form and becomes a playable character ready to combine with the others for free-flowing speedy platform action.
The moment has finally arrived Splatoon faithful! The level cap will officially be raised from 20 to 50 on August 5! Along with the level cap, other improvements are also on the way.
Many gamers, including this writer, know that the addiction of Splatoon lies in the desire to unlock every piece of clothing and weapon in the game, and Nintendo knows it. To feed our hunger for inky destruction, the free update brings 40 new pieces of gear and two new weapons: the Slosher, which is basically a giant paint bucket, and a six-barreled mini-gun, better known in Inkopolis as the Splatling. It also brings two new game modes into the fray: Squad Battle and Private Battle.
Squad Battle allows gamers to play in ranked mode with friends on teams of two to four. Private Battles, on the other hand, are customizable matches that are open to eight players in a myriad of match setups of their choosing. This includes one versus one, two versus two, one versus three, and two versus four options. Now you can finally prove to your friends who has the most colorful combat.
August isn’t the end of the free Splatoon goodness. In a recent interview with Eurogamer, series creator Tsubasa Sakaguchi said that more is on the way (you can read our coverage on that very topic here). If you want to know what all the hype over this colorful arena shooter is about, make sure to read our Splatoon review here.
Have you reached the level cap and find yourself anxious for more? Will you be playing ranked matches with your closest friends? Let us know in the comments down below!
MR. ROBOT Season 1, Episode 5: “eps1.43xpl0its.wmv”
GRADE: B+
When we last left Elliot and “fsociety”, they were ready to lower the boom on Evil Corp by corrupting their climate control system, forcing their servers to overheat and crash. This episode sees this attack through — but fsociety finds that even the best laid plans have flaws or, as the episode refers to them, “exploits”.
The episode hits the ground running with Robot sending Elliot into the lobby because why the hell not? Elliot’s there, asking to go on a tour of the facility. They initially deny him even though Elliot tells them to look him up on the Internet. Elliot is supposed to be “Sam Sepiol”, an up and coming tech entrepreneur. After some insistence, “Bill”, a low-level employee looks his name up on Google where he finds a bunch of faked news articles and a full-on Wikipedia page about him. “Mobley has built up a reputation over the years with over 20,000 edits,” Elliot explains. Yesterday, I said Noah’s goofy hacking skills were ridiculous. This may have tied that.
In any case, Bill takes him on the tour — but Elliot needs to get to the server floor. Unfortunately, Bill’s not able to do that. At this point, Robot orders Elliot to completely mentally decimate Bill. Elliot’s unable to do so — at first — but then flashes back to moments in his childhood where his mother would berate him a verbally stomp him into the ground. He channels that and absolutely destroys Bill, telling him that he’s worthless and that, in the event of his death, nobody would attend his funeral. He tells Bill to get a supervisor, which Bill does, voice cracking and teary-eyed. Elliot tries to apologize but Robot screams in his ear not to do it, a moment which you really want to punch Robot for. The problem is that the supervisor is NOT the one fsociety did research on which means they have to scramble to fix the situation.
After dumping the new supervisor, Elliot attempts to navigate himself where he needs to go — only to bump into Tyrell Wellick — and it’s a whole new ballgame. The play between these two characters is always brilliant. Wellick invites him to lunch where he explains that regular people disgust him. This, after telling Elliot that two of the people he deals with fund ISS and the Palestinians against Israel. He mocks their waiter for being somebody who’s content with serving him salad on a daily basis. Elliot sits and listens to Wellick go on and on about what it takes to be a human being in his world, suspecting that Wellick’s eventually going to turn him in for his attacks against Evil Corp — and security guards eventually show up to complete that fantasy — but it isn’t to be. Elliot excuses himself to the restroom where he finds a line to the climate control through the janitorial supply closet. He connects the “Rasperry Pi” hack, only to run into Wellick again. He apologizes and we get an unsettling admission:
“I know you framed Tyler Colby,” he says. Elliot feigns ignorance — but Wellick doesn’t care about Elliot’s motivations or his ultimate revenge scheme because he believes himself to be above the racket of Elliot and fsociety. This is Tyrell Wellick, a man who lives the meme, “No fucks are given”. He’s a machine. There’s a great scene later on where Wellick and his wife are at a dinner party with Evil Corp’s new CTO and his wife. After the CTO gabs about his wine collection, Wellick turns to the CTO’s wife and asks how she could be with somebody who’s so boring. She excuses herself to the bathroom while Wellick’s wife ends up listening to the CTO’s drivel. Frustrated (and pregnant), she finishes her husband’s wine while Wellick visits the same bathroom the CTO’s wife is in. At first, his wife is offended that Wellick would even have the balls to do such a thing. She asks him what he wants. Wellick says nothing at all. The two just stare at one another. Suddenly, she slowly spreads her legs. He looks at what’s there and smiles. “Thank you for a lovely evening,” he snorts, and walks out. The moment is debatable in terms of meaning. Has Wellick found a weakness in the CTO’s wife? Did she take the power back by offering herself to him in such a lurid manner? What does this mean for the future of the position? We shall see.
In other developments, Angela’s done with Ollie and has moved to her father’s place. Her father lives alone, is “grizzled” (that word never gets old) and still loves saying things like “your boyfriend is a douche”. Turns out he’s a slave to the system, owing thousands in past due bills to Evil Corp in some manner. This makes things a bit interesting in that Angela might end up finding herself in the middle of Elliot’s world soon — if things work that way, that is. It turns out that the Dark Army (fsociety’s partners in this game) have ditched fsociety, sending Darlene into a whirling dervish. She’s ready to go it alone to “damage” Evil Corp. Mr. Robot, however, tells her that “damaging” them isn’t the goal. Completely destroying them is what they’re aiming for. Elliot eventually talks her down in a semi-poignant moment that sees Darlene at her most vulnerable, thus tying into the theme of this week’s show. Where does fsociety go from here?
Good show this week, if not a little marred by the goofy Hollywood hacking moments at the beginning and a plot that seems to have some false starts and stalls. They’re slowly losing the heavy-handed garbage they fell back on in the first few episodes, though the really lame “crossroads” analogy with Angela while she was out for her jog makes one want to punch a baby. Mr. Robot has remained consistently good.
Rick and Morty Season 2, Episode 1: “A Rickle in Time” Air date: July 26, 2015
It’s been over a year since the first season aired, but we finally have some more Rick and Morty in our lives. “A Rickle in Time” picks up directly after the season one finale, “Ricksy Business,” in which Rick throws a party with Morty and Summer, completely trashing the house. Rick freezes time just as Jerry and Beth return home, and he spends the time cleaning and bonding with his grandchildren. In “A Rickle in Time,” it’s revealed that the universe has been frozen for approximately six months, which has caused instability in time. Soon, any uncertainty in the their actions causes the universe to split into two realities (shown simultaneously in split frames), and the three are caught in a timeless purgatory as they attempt to fix the timeline. It’s an ambitious episode that hits on everything the show does best: an absurd sci-fi adventure, creative storytelling in the episode’s multiple split realities, and Rick’s horrible behavior and crazed genius (just barely grounded by his love for his family).
The conceit and scope of the premiere is particularly impressive, as the scenes depicting the split realities are displayed simultaneously on-screen, all with slightly different elements. Initially, Morty and Summer are standing in different positions, with slightly altered dialogue. However, the insanity quickly ramps up as more indecisions causes reality to split further, and eventually Rick finds himself engaging in an inter-dimensional gunfight with the different versions of himself with a time crystal-enhanced pistol. It’s almost overwhelming watching the number of realities doubling and trying to pick out the minute details in each frame, but the episode itself remains well choreographed and surprisingly cohesive.
The emotional core of the episode revolves around Morty and Summer’s insecurity, and the natural uncertainty of their tumultuous formative years. It’s the cause of the splitting realities, and exacerbated by Rick’s outwardly hostile and dismissive attitude towards them. Rick is particularly fed up with his grandchildren–most of the episode’s best lines are Rick’s scathing insults. There shouldn’t be any doubt that Rick is a fundamentally bad person, but ultimately his love for his family is also undoubtable. As they scramble to sync up the various realities to merge time back into a cohesive whole (at this point split into 64 versions), Rick is prepared to sacrifice himself to save Morty. A last-minute deus ex machina allows him to save himself as well, but it’s the thought that counts.
Rick and Morty have always excelled at providing nuanced depictions of its deeply flawed characters (Rick in particular), and not shying away from genuine portrayals of bad people. Villains aside, most depictions of “bad” characters or anti-heroes are quick to overcompensate by providing justifications or counterbalances, out of fear that the audience would dislike the character too much. Rick, however, is undoubtedly a horrible person. We like him because he’s a horrible person, and the singular thread that grounds him is his love for his family, which the show uses sparingly. Rick’s sacrifice is touching as he accepts his fate and appeals to Morty to “be better than [him],” but even then the show downplays his only redeeming character trait. He frantically and desperately prays to God for salvation, and once safe he triumphantly declares: “Yes! I did it! There is no God!” Afterwards, Morty only vaguely recalls that 1/64th of Ricks might have sacrificed himself for him, which Rick is quick to dismiss. The show is careful not to lean too hard on the, employing just enough to blunt the edge off of Rick calling his grandchildren pieces of shit.
The weak point of the episode is Jerry and Beth’s storyline, where they hit a deer with their car after getting ice cream, and Beth feels compelled to try to save it. She has something to prove, especially in the face of Jerry and others who suggest she’s “merely” a horse surgeon. It’s a weaker storyline with a fairly unremarkable conclusion, but the show is well aware of the fact, by having Rick point out that “they’re probably living it up in some pointless grounded story about their loveless marriage.” Despite the mostly forgettable subplot, the episode as a whole is carried by the strength of its bold, reality-splitting primary storyline. Rick is back and better (and worse) than ever!
“This better not be a bribe. If I find a single thing out of place in this house, my love of ice cream won’t save you.”
“Man, that guy is the Red Grin Grumble to pretending he knows what’s going on.”
“Now listen, I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand, that as far as grandpa’s concerned, you’re both pieces of shit. Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, let me grab a whiteboard–this has been a long time coming.”
“And I honestly can’t tell you apart half the time because I don’t go by height or age, I go by the amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical.”
“That’s the difference between you and me. I’m certain, and you’re a walking burlap sack filled with turds!”
Last week, my review concluded with the sentence, “Ladies and gentlemen…we have a show.” It was the best of the series’ run so far.
This week, MTV’s “Scream” returns with “Aftermath” which gives us a show that feels like it’s trying so very hard not to revert to the incompetence of its blown start. For the most part, it succeeds. Kinda.
There’s still this bit of excruciating minutiae the writers refer to as “dialogue”:
BROOKE (crying): “You know, I don’t think I’m gonna make it through this Town Hall thing…none of this waterproof Mascara actually is.”
EMMA: “You can go a day without Mascara.”
BROOKE: “Riley had those insane long lashes…”
EMMA (crying): “I know…she never had to wear Mascara…”
EMMA (sobbing with her): “I know! I miss her, too!”
There’s now a Lakewood Murder App that allows students of Lakewood High to cast their vote for the next Murder Victim — and Brooke’s at the top the list. And, honestly, I’m fine with that, seeing as how she exists simply to push her nose up in the air and titillate viewers with the notion of underage sex. The student-teacher sub-plot is bad enough, now we have Brooke’s dad, the honorable Mayor Maddox, weirdly pawing at her while drinking a glass of Vodka for breakfast. And who can blame him for drinking? The cops are trying to figure out how last week went down. It turns out that Tyler’s burnt-up body was in the car — sans head. The Brandon James Mask was in the car as well, so all’s well that ends well according to the cops.
And just when you’re rolling up the newspaper to bat the show’s nose and yell, “BAD MTV! BAD!”, we get Noah with bags under his swollen, red, tear-stained eyes and Audrey comforting him with a nice bit of dialogue I think anyone who’s lost somebody close to their heart can relate with:
AUDREY: (walks into Noah’s gaming shop) “Hey…did you sleep here?”
NOAH: “If by ‘sleep’, you mean ‘stare numbly into space’, then, yeah. I slept.”
This is followed by Noah showing Audrey personal phone texts from Riley before she was murdered. Things like, “My Mom wants to know who’d win in a cage fight between Madonna and Lady GaGa,” and “Meet me at the football field,” the place where him and Riley shared their first kiss. He half-smiles as he looks through the texts. The look on his face is one of heartbreak and devastation.
This scene feels real. And, so, you put the newspaper down to watch “Scream”, a show that I’m ready to give a “TV Participation” certificate to if it just keeps me slightly interested for two minutes.
Thankfully, the crux of “Aftermath” deals with Emma getting a new gift from GhostyMcMeltFace: an old yearbook with a bunch of student photos cut out. The crown jewel of Emma’s recently acquired bit of would-be police evidence? Her father’s photo is completely scratched out with pen. There’s a single phrase written with red pen. It reads, “THE TRUTH LIES WHERE THE MASK WAS MADE.” She takes it Noah’s shop where he and Audrey get a look. Noah reveals that it might have something to do with Brandon James’ facial surgery at a now-defunct hospital since the killer’s mask “was made there and patients wore it to prevent infection”. His face lights up. He wants to go there! Emma tells them that they’re not going anywhere and leaves — but it’s a trick. She wants to go and needs Audrey’s help.
So they go to the creepy-ass hospital that actually looks well taken care of despite being “shut down for 6 or 7 years”. Brandon James actually has a “lair” complete with disturbing clues and things with possible fingerprints. I’d complain that Emma and Audrey should have called the cops since that would have probably helped blow the case open, but none of Lakewood’s police have the ability to solve a crossword puzzle, so whatever. Let’s sit and watch as they touch stuff and look impressed by the fact that “Brandon James” would make a kick-ass scrap-booker, the way he hangs the victims’ pictures in a little 3D carousel. That’s good.
Anyhow, the thing ends on a weird note. Noah predictably shows up at the hospital to check things out. The girls almost murder him with a crowbar-armed Audrey and stun gun-equipped Emma. They find a laptop full of folders with several names. They load the files on an SD card and run — but not before they accidentally find the head of Tyler on a shelf hidden underneath a Brandon James mask. Later, after the cops surround the place, scold the kids and take away what ever evidence they stole — except for the SD card which, as it turns out, is totally corrupt except for a single file.
After Noah goes through a considerable (and unnecessary) amount of trouble to crack the file, they find that it’s a video of Emma having sex with Will when she first lost her virginity. Also the file is executable and uploads to the entire school. And that’s how it ends.
THE GOOD
This great exchange between Audrey and Noah (respectively) at the game shop:
(Audrey takes Noah’s red Solo cup full of booze from him) “Drinking on the job is a new thing for you.” “They can’t fire me…I’m the only one who knows how to reset the router.”
The opening moments with all of Lakewood’s residents listening to Piper’s Murder Podcast was beautifully shot.
THE BAD (and really improbable)
Will and Jake’s weird underage videotape bribery ring. It just refuses to go away. What’s more, Will’s ready to revisit the scheme because he “got into Duke but can’t pay for it because his Dad won’t sign the Financial Aid forms.” No…that’s just…no.
The sheriff of Lakewood complaining about the upcoming civil suit by Riley’s parents for negligence. Fair enough. That’s gotta be stressful. Emma’s Mom sympathizing and telling him how he did the best job he could? Jesus. F’n. Christ.
“Tyler killing Riley” then driving his car into a nearby ravine while fucking headless. And the cops are like, “Welp, case closed.” I’m glad this isn’t a real police department. They make the cops in Ferguson look accountable.
The fact that The Killer “encrypted” files he/she wanted the group to find.
The file instantly transforming into an “executable file” and uploading itself to entire school. Sigh…
Are we really buying the story that a hospital that closed in 2008 (at the latest, according to Noah’s estimate) was making really creepy-looking face masks to “prevent the spread of infection for facial reconstruction patients”? Was the staff also performing blood-lettings and using flaming torches to navigate the corridors?
My reaction to the last half dozen bullet points:
THE UGLY
Danielle caught the last 20 minutes of this episode. She liked what she saw. She asked me if she could see the first 20 minutes. I showed her. She says, “Wow…they could have just started the episode from the point I did and it wouldn’t have made a difference.”
Season 1, episode 7: “Episode Seven” Original Air Date: July 24th, 2015
Last week on Dark Matter we got a glimpse into the back story of Four, Five, and Six, and this week in “Episode Seven” Three takes the spotlight. I said before in my advanced review of the series that Dark Matter feels a bit like Firefly 2.0. That isn’t an insult to the series because goodness knows we all love a solid space opera, but this week’s episode with guest appearance by Ruby Rose, felt especially Firefly-like, with stowaway passengers in stasis and betrayal from the least expected party.
Life on the Raza has been focused mainly on learning the history of the six crew members with the help of the Android. Sure, there have been a few guest appearances here and there but nothing notable to take away screen time from the main cast. However, “Episode Seven” introduced not one, but two new characters in the entertainment android Wendy and Three’s sickly lover in stasis, Sarah, and boy, were they welcome additions.
With Five finally learning to control her abilities, harnessing the memories of the other crew members, she learns the password to open the door that has haunted Three for so long. After learning that Sarah resides inside the room in stasis because of a deteriorating disease, it makes sense now that even subconsciously he’d be willing to blow himself to bits in order to get inside. Sarah’s introduction does wonders for everyone’s perception of Three because up until now he’s been crude, disgruntled, and downright violent. I must admit that I prefer his relationship with Two over the prospect of her being with One (because he annoys me), but even without the relationship with Two or even Sarah, Three has grown on me the most of the characters. I have a soft spot for the bad boys who become protective of their own. Watching him grow to care about Five the way the others do has been a highlight for me.
As sweet as Sarah’s reunion with Marcus (Three) was, the introduction of the entertainment android Wendy was about as bitter. I groaned watching One and Six ogle her abilities and then again when One let her teach him what it meant to “dunk the donut.” Don’t get me wrong, Ruby Rose played the part perfectly, with little head jerks and sharp arm movements to remind us that she was a computer program and not just a, well, prostitute. However, the Android’s jealousy was the best part of Wendy’s introduction, cycling through accents and listing off her own capabilities in an attempt to appeal to One and Six. It takes Five’s words of wisdom to get through to her to realize that Wendy is only the “new” thing and that they owe their lives to the naive but kind Android.
The episode culminates in a betrayal that maybe isn’t as shocking as I had you believe earlier, but like most of the problematic moments, the crew is split, forced to find a way around the issue, which they do in fairly easy fashion. If there’s one complaint I have about the show is that the issues faced by the crew never feel dire or tense to warrant any real concern. They solve the new problem of the week and then go about their day. That being said, I don’t expect, nor want, anything more dramatic from the show, as it keeps it closer to the light-hearted end of the spectrum. I don’t need every TV show I watch to be like Homeland or Game of Thrones each week. That’s exhausting. Besides, the end of “Episode Seven” was heartbreaking enough. I just hope that the emotion from Three’s loss carries through to later episodes.
TL;DR: One continues to be awkward around Two; Two proves again and again why she is the leader; Three is secretly a big softie and I love that; Four practices with sais; Five remains the best character on the with her lovable attitude and sweetness; Six eats some food; and the Android does a hell of a Jamaican accent.
Dark Matter airs on Syfy Friday nights at 10PM EST.
KILLJOYS -- "One Blood" Episode 106 -- Pictured: (l-r) Aaron Ashmore as John, Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch, Luke Macfarlane as D'Avin -- (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Killjoys Season 1, Episode 6: “One Blood” Air date: July 24, 2015 Grade: A-
Killjoys gets better week after week and this time we see more of the social discordance within The Quad as Dutch (Hannah John-Kamen), D’avin (Luke MacFarlane) and Johnny (Aaron Ashmore) get entangled in a black warrant for an old RAC agent who’s stolen from The Company.
Picking up from episode five, Dutch agrees to help Khlyen (Rob Stewart) one last time as long as he stays away from her and her team after. The two head over to the Keffree Tea House where Khlyen is all happy because they serve the tea he likes from back home. Dutch is having none of his “let’s reminisce like old times” shenanigans because the girl he knew died a long time ago. A couple of minutes into their tea time fun, her former tutor explains that she has a few seconds to find an item on a particular gentleman in the shop since he was just served a pot of deadly poison that would kill everyone inside in mere moments as well. Extreme much? A pissed off Dutch manages to find what the courier was hiding and gets out before passing out from lack of oxygen. Not sure if anyone else made it though (aside from Khlyen who seemed immune to the gas).
Back on the ship, D’avin is taking his frustrations out on a punching bag after spending the day with Pawter trying to get past the stem blockers that were tampering with his memories. In the last episode we found out that D’av’s deep dark secret was killing his whole squad without any idea why he did it. Dutch comments that maybe its time for a different doctor though the elder Jaqobis seems a wee bit hesitant, saying that Pawter’s being working hard. Dutch smiles back stating she’s heard. The duo’s relationship continues to be this mass of sexual tension where they are obviously attracted to each other but because they are partners/teammates they haven’t really been willing to act on it, YET. So they do their little semi-flirting dance until Johnny inevitably comes in to break the moment.
Speak of the devil, a super excited Johnny arrives bringing good news that they’ve been invited to participate in a black warrant. What is that you may ask? It is a competitive warrant where the top team wins and only the best are allowed to join. They head over to their favorite bar in Old Town where the private meeting is being held. We get to meet a few more Killjoys and you gotta appreciate the camaraderie. Except for Fancy Lee (Sean Baek) that is. Fancy was the other RAC agent that had tried to kill D’avin back in episode one and apparently nobody likes him. I say the character is your misunderstood lone wolf.
Pawter (Sarah Power) asks D’avin to chat for a second and she asks him about continuing his therapy sessions. He seems to have taken Dutch’s advice to heart though and thinks that it might be better for him to go to a specialist instead. Poor Pawter, you can see her internal freak out as she convinces D’avin to keep coming to her if she manages to find out who the mysterious Dr. Jaeger is using her connections. I kind of want to shake her and say you don’t need him or his issues! But I think Pawter may be suffering from savior complex. More on that later.
KILLJOYS — “One Blood” Episode 106 — Pictured: (l-r) Sarah Power as Pawter, Luke Macfarlane as D’Avin — (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Soon Turin arrives and begins the briefing. Their target turns out to be a retired RAC agent named Big Joe who’s stolen a valuable item from The Company. Since it would be terrible for business if it was discovered that one of their own has become an outright thief, the RAC is trying to contain it as best as they can. Midway, Dutch gets a call from Khlyen and she makes an excuse to leave the bar to meet him.
She hands over the courier’s small box and it turns out to be some kind of neural interface device. Her ex-tutor attaches it to her neck and now she’ll be able to talk to him as if they were in the same room. Super! But it also happens to have information on Big Joe’s last coordinates. As it turns out, Khlyen wants whatever was stolen too. He’s arranged for an unmarked ship to be available for Dutch to go after Joe on her own and then she is to deliver the goods back to him. Understandably the Killjoy is annoyed because that would mean going against her own team, but Khlyen is unbending. If she wants him to stay away from D’avin and Johnny then she has no choice but to do it his way. Dutch sends a message to the boys to start ahead without her as she grudgingly follows orders.
The brothers in the meantime meet with a familiar prisoner to ask him how to track Big Joe’s ship. Coren Jeers reluctantly helps them after Johnny cleverly explains how he’s emptying out Coren’s bank account. They get back to the ship without any word from Dutch when Fancy arrives, saying that he knows where their fearless leader went. In return he wants to hop a ride with them and split the prize money when they find Big Joe. Now it’s the Jaqobis’ turn to join up with a dude they highly dislike. Fancy spills that Dutch left on an unmarked ship two hours ago and guessed that she was getting Joe herself because of their personal history. Johnny agrees and tells D’av that they have to save her from screwing up.
Dutch gets to Big Joe’s ship first but it’s abandoned and she shortly gets shot. Khlyen is mentally there with her the whole time and he shows grave concern when she is injured. Still, the Killjoy isn’t easily stopped and tracks Joe down. They actually have a nice reunion with a little play fighting going on. The fun and games come to a end when Dutch gets serious and says that she just wants what he stole and he can leave in peace. The situation gets more complicated when a group of Leithan nationalists arrive and bring the two back to their headquarters/farm. Joe had actually stolen the item for them but had no idea what it did. It seems like nobody knows what the device is, except for Khlyen who isn’t telling.
KILLJOYS — “One Blood” Episode 106 — Pictured: (l-r) Luke Macfarlane as D’Avin, Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch — (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
The Leithans are interrogating both of them after discovering the neural implant on Dutch. They think that she’s there to spy on them with reinforcements on the way. We now get a little history on the divide between the Leithans, Qreshi, and Westerlans. A long time ago the Qreshi declared that if people worked on Westerly long enough, after seven generations they would be granted land on Leith (which is a much nicer moon to live on btw). So now Leithans like them were pissed off that the Qreshi were going to give their ancestral land away because their farm wasn’t profitable. Their only solution? Armed struggle.
Help does finally come in the form of Fancy, Johnny and D’avin. They are able to find Dutch through Fancy’s bloodhound, a device that is able to pinpoint her location via DNA tracking. Mr. Lee gets even fancier when he uses a directional dart (of his own design) to incapacitate one of the Leithans on guard duty. D’avin meanwhile goes into the farmhouse to rescue Dutch. Damn fancy!
The Company weapon that everyone is after gets activated at last when one of the Leithans decides to use it to kill Joe. Unfortunately, the device vaporizes people based on DNA and the nationalists accidentally wipe themselves out save for one person. That guy had married into the family. The Killjoys bring Joe and the WMD back to Westerly where they are greeted like champions. Sadly it doesn’t end well for the ex-RAC agent after Company man Hills Oonan appears at the bar with a massive hangover. Turin and Oonan have a little chat where the other expounds on what their superiors won’t stand for. They come to an agreement and Joe’s warrant is upgraded to a kill order.
Before anyone else can make a move, Joe grabs Dutch’s gun and begs her to do it fast. The poor gal can’t make herself pull the trigger even though she knows there’s no way out for the mentor she actually cares about. Fancy does the deed instead as the self-appointed designated asshole. You can’t help but feel a for him after his earlier talk with Johnny. Fancy explained that his contribution to the RAC was being the necessary evil that would do the hard jobs that no one wanted, yet had to be done (example: kill your old buddy).
Let’s get back to Pawter for a second though. She’s been busy getting Oonan super drunk and then drugging him to get access to The Company’s system. She tries to find Dr. Jaeger that way but gets caught the next day after not clearing her history. Girl, what are you doing?? You are going to prison because of a boy. He’s not worth it!!! Pawter can’t believe she’s being arrested, claiming that her family will have his head. Except Oonan did a background check on her and supposedly none of her Qreshi relatives give a damn. Ouch.
Khlyen comes to see Dutch again to get the WMD but she doesn’t have it and they get into a tiff. He strikes her and she stabs him repeatedly in the gut (it has zero effect on him). The man doesn’t even begin to bleed profusely from the multiple stab wounds. Instead he gathers his lost composure and apologizes for hitting her. When she asks him again why he’s come to The Quad, he repeats that he’s there to retrieve her. We do learn from their exchange that Khlyen is working for someone else and that he/she must be powerful. Dutch finally realizes that her ex-tutor isn’t going away and that she needs help. At the end of the episode she opens up to the brothers about her predicament and asks Johnny to track Khlyen through the neural transmitter. Her steely determination wins out over fear as she decides that she’s going to somehow kill the man once and for all.
Final thoughts:
Pawter is pretty crazy. She has no qualms on making you think she’s injected you with a lethal poison and she’ll drug you.
Fancy is growing on me big time (ok he’s my new favorite character), he’s the lone wolf you can’t help but secretly respect!
Maybe Khlyen is a human-android hybrid. That’s why he doesn’t age, is immune to poisons, and doesn’t die from stabbing.
Dutch grew up in a harem, an assassin harem! Must know more…
Good news, wasteland wanderers! More information about this year’s most anticipated game has come out of Quakecon 2015. Bethesda brought new details surrounding Fallout 4 through artwork, screenshots, video, and a brief game demo. They even gave all attending press members free PIPBOY masks to mark the occasion. (I wonder what those will sell for on eBay over the next few hours?)
Bethesda’s Todd Howard took to the stage to dish out new details. First, they discussed a few of the different companions that will join you through your new adventure. Dogmeat, the faithful canine companion introduced at E3, was shown in more detail. He will be the first companion that you find when first stepping out of the vault and will be able to fetch items for you as you do other tasks, such as hacking computers. They also showed a brief video of one of the game creator’s dogs, whom they filmed for the inspiration of Dogmeat in the game.
The next companion was introduced through in-game artwork. His name is Preston Garvey and he is the leader of The Commonwealth Minute Men faction in Concord, Massachusetts. Little else is known about the character, but I’m looking forward to finding out more this November.
The third companion shown was a woman by the name of Piper. Dressed in a red leather jacket, and donning an old school paperboy hat, Piper can be found in Diamond City. Diamond City used to be known as Fenway Park, but has recently gone through some… renovations after the bomb fell. Piper’s key attribute is that she can lie her way out of any situation.
The final companion mentioned was the robotic Mr. Handy. Many know Mr. Handy from previous games in the series, as well as from the recent E3 footage. They mentioned that Mr. Handy was modeled both internally and externally in case he meets an…. untimely demise.
Todd Howard mentioned that there will be 12 companions in all throughout the game. He also said that all companions will be romance-able, regardless of gender. Who are you planning to woo and seduce in your time in the Wasteland? Who would make the perfect companion?
One major draw of Fallout, and one that adds to the replay-ability of the series, are perks. Fallout 4 will feature 72 different perks that can be manipulated into 275 different combinations. These perks will change depending on decisions you make in the game, as well as which companions you choose to keep in tow.
Finally, Bethesda announces that Fallout Shelter will be gracing Android devices on August 13. This version will include new features, such as several new enemies types and Fallout 4 characters, as well as Mr. Handy, who will collect coins so you don’t have to. Don’t worry iPhone users; This content will be added through an update on the same day as the Android release.
Fallout 4 will be released on PC, Playstation 4, and Xbox One on November 10, 2015. Now we just need to sit back and wait. It will be a very long, excruciating wait…
Are you ready for more Fallout? Or are you over the whole open world experience? Let us know in the comments down below!
Season four of Veep was the final season for creator and showrunner Armando Iannucci (David Mandel will be showrunner starting next season), and he couldn’t have gone out on a brighter note. After a surprise resignation, Selina Meyer finds herself ascending to the highest office in the land in the midst of her own presidential election campaign. The season reaches transcendent heights of absurdity and chaos as Selina and her foul-mouthed, incompetent team of horrible human beings scramble to avoid serving one of the shortest presidential terms in history.
Selina’s presidency changes the show’s dynamic quite a bit. The cast has grown, adding Sam Richardson as the dim-witted but overeager Richard Splett (it’s amazing how many unique variations of idiot this show manages to produce), Diedrich Bader returns as Bill Ericsson, Patton Oswalt guest stars as VP Doyle’s chief of staff, and Hugh Laurie signs on as Selina’s popular new running mate Tom James.
The stakes have never been higher, and the pressure begins to take its toll on Selina and her staff. The result is a tense, hilarious season filled with scrambling, scandals, and scapegoating. Veep’s signature rapid-fire wit and scathing banter are present in all their glory, amplified by the frustration and desperation of all its characters. The panic and chaos is palpable as members of Selina’s team face meltdowns, breakdowns, congressional committees, and probably imprisonment.
People quit…
Mike and Gary get stranded in Tehran…
And Tom James joins what may very well be a sinking ship.
The digital edition releases this week, and special features include the season four trailer, a visit to the set with Armando Iannucci and Julia Louis-Dreyfus discussing the expanded scope of the season, and a “would you rather” segment where the cast debates things like taking Gary to prom or whether you’d want to be stuck on a desert island with Ben.
Veep is best known for its incredible dialogue and comedy, but the final moments of season four is the beating heart that makes it one of the best series on television.
I don’t like spoilers, so this review of “A Nest of Vipers” is as spoiler-free as possible.
If you’re feeling the loss of Game of Thrones during the off-season, I would like to remind you that Telltale has a game of the same name to ease your pain. Or really, to bring you more pain. The fifth episode of Telltale’s Game of Thrones series, “A Nest of Vipers” is the most Thrones-like yet with unexpected character deaths a plenty. In typical Telltale fashion, they don’t hold back any of the gruesome bits, so I hope you have tissues handy.
When we left off in episode four of Thrones, Mira had made a bit of a scene at Tommen’s coronation party, Asher successfully infiltrated Meereen for the Mother of Dragons, Rodrik interrupted an unexpected dinner party with Ramsay Bolton, and Gared found out Cotter is an even bigger liar than previously believed. The fifth episode follows on the heels of all these events, but moves at a much faster pace than any of the previous storylines. With only one episode remaining, such haste is to be expected, and I for one, am excited to see how this story plays out. And yet, there’s so much left to wrap up I’m not sure how Telltale will tie this knot in a satisfying unless they murder everyone or continue the story in a second season.
That being said, Gared’s story seems to have petered out when compared to the other three, so I am hoping he is the first to leave the series. Maybe it’s because he isn’t actually a Stark Forrester or maybe it’s because he seems to be following in Jon Snow’s footsteps, but I can’t find his arc engaging whatsoever. He’s too far away from the other characters to make a difference in the overall story at hand (and that’s saying something considering Asher is in Meereen) and he’s clueless. By the end of his segment I kept hoping he’d accidentally catch a spear with his face. Thankfully, his part in the episode was also the shortest.
Luckily for fans, the other three character arcs are as solid as they’ve been since the first episode. And for the first time since the first episode I felt like my decisions mattered. The biggest qualm gamers seem to have with Telltale games is the illusion of choice, rather than actual decision-making in the world, and while I’ll agree that’s true in Game of Thrones, episode five pulled together all those lose strings of shunned parties and tied them into a noose. How you treated Beshka, Tyrion, Cersei, and Elaena in previous episodes all came to a head in the fifth episode, either granting you extra resources, troops, or just putting you in an even more difficult position in King’s Landing because I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PLAY MIRA. Worst case scenario: the way you play may lead to certain main character deaths. I have hopes that the final episode will come down to how you played throughout, whether or not you were able to acquire enough aid to save House Forrester.
Clearly, I made Elaena happy.
This episode also had the most action of any Thrones episode yet, culminating in an epic pit fight for Asher’s life. I enjoyed the fight for the simple fact that it was more than the usual, “Mash three keys and then talk for an hour” routine. As much as I enjoy the story, it’s nice to have that change of pace every so often and it’s fitting that Asher, AKA the best character in the game, fill that role.
As the episode came to a close, with armies finally uniting and making an impact, I was reminded of a Ramsay Bolton quote from the TV series, “If you think this has a happy ending then you haven’t been paying attention.” That much is also true for the game and I’m starting to wonder if anyone in the world of Ice and Fire will ever get that happy ending.
In a swerve worthy of infamous creative booker, Vince Russo, WWE announced the release of Terry Bollea, better known to the world as wrestling mega-star Hulk Hogan.
Hogan is currently embroiled in a $100 million dollar lawsuit with Gawker Media over their release of a video tape from 2006, showing Hogan having sex with Heather Cole, the wife of radio personality “Bubba, The Love Sponge”.
Hogan seemed to have WWE’s unwavering support throughout the ordeal — until now.
Sealed transcripts of the tape’s contents have been leaked by The National Enquirer and Radar Online, purporting to show Hogan declaring himself to be “racist to a point” while referring to black people as “fucking n***ers”. The remarks are in reference to a “black billionaire” who promised to fully fund the singing career of Hogan’s daughter, Brooke. According to the transcripts, Hogan complains about Brooke’s relationship with the man:
“I don’t know if Brooke was f*cking the black guy’s son,”
“I mean, I don’t have double standards. I mean, I am a racist, to a point, f*cking n*ggers. But then when it comes to nice people and sh*t, and whatever.”
“I mean, I’d rather if she was going to f*ck some n*gger, I’d rather have her marry an 8-foot-tall n*gger worth a hundred million dollars! Like a basketball player!
“I guess we’re all a little racist. Fucking n*gger.”
Despite the fact that the transcripts are part of a group of sealed court documents, both outlets stand by the authenticity of what they’re reporting. The Enquirer stated that an “an extensive news probe uncovered five independent sources who provided the dramatic contents of the tape to this publication.”
Meanwhile, wrestling fans woke this morning to a WWE organization without Hulk Hogan: the company has wiped nearly every reference to him from the official site. He’s no longer listed as a Hall of Famer or a WWE Alumni. All of his merchandise was taken offline as well.
Following this, Hogan released this cryptic Tweet on his Twitter page:
In the storm I release control,God and his Universe will sail me where he wants me to be,one love. HH
Several news outlets reached out to WWE — who remained silent on their reasoning for the erasure. Because of this, fans rushed to find their own answers, initially speculating that the deletion was because of an XM Radio interview Hogan gave for DJ Whoo Kid’s Whoolywood Shuffle back in 2012.
In the interview, Hogan recalls the famous WCW TV spot where wrestling personality, Booker T inadvertently called Hogan a “n***er” and then revealed that Booker and several other black personalities would start call him “n***a” backstage as a joke.
Hogan would go on to reflect on his time in Miami when he’d bump into famous rappers:
“And everybody down there—Lil Wayne, Birdman—they’re all calling me ‘nigga,’ and then I started sayin’ it. And I always said it, but now all of a sudden I get heat when I say it, and they say, ‘Hogan, you can’t say that,’ so I say, ‘Why can they say it to me then?’”
In response to the uproar, DJ Whoo Kid posted this statement on his personal Facebook:
About two hours after The Enquirer and Radar released the transcripts, WWE finally made a statement about Hulk Hogan to US Weekly:
“WWE terminated its contract with Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan). WWE is committed to embracing and celebrating individuals from all backgrounds as demonstrated by the diversity of our employees, performers and fans worldwide.”
TMZ, who also claims to have seen the tape and confirms the authenticity of The Enquirer and Radar’s transcripts, says that WWE did not terminate his contract and that Hogan resigned from WWE late Thursday night.
A few hours after the story broke and WWE had announced the separation, Hulk Hogan finally released a statement to People Magazine, saying the following:
Eight years ago, I used offensive language during a conversation. It was unacceptable for me to have used that offensive language; there is no excuse for it; and I apologize for having done it. This is not who I am. I believe very strongly that every person in the world is important and should not be treated differently based on race, gender, orientation, religious beliefs or otherwise. I am disappointed with myself that I used language that is offensive and inconsistent with my own beliefs.
…this sudden case of moral aggrandizing from WWE comes about because Gawker leaked yet another sex tape with Hogan, which not only showed him to be an adulterer, but now also a racist…Hogan used the N-word multiple times while talking to or about his daughter…putting aside the nature of the comments and Hulk’s questionable parenting skills there, it does seem a tad hypocritical for WWE to fire someone by taking the moral high ground over racism. For as much as they claim diversity now, they don’t exactly have a good track record of positive portrayals of other “backgrounds.”
The release of the transcript is already creating a ripple effect in WWE. According to a report from US Weekly, Hogan will no longer be featured as a judge on USA Network’s “Tough Enough” and his much-rumored match with John Cena at WrestleMania 32 is in jeopardy.
Splatoon is one of the best new IP’s to come out of this generation so far. It’s full of family-friendly characters and atmosphere, but don’t let that fool you; its brimming with hardcore competition (Editors note: for more details you can read James’ review for the game here). Splatoon is a game where I often find myself saying “just one more match”, which eventually turns into 10 more, but is Splatoon too addictive?
In a recent interview with Eurogamer, Splatoon creator Tsubasa Sakaguchi said that he and his team were quite surprised at how quickly users were reaching the games level cap of 20.
“When we were designing Splatoon, reaching level 20 was going to take quite a lot of time. Learning the game mechanics with the gyro sensor – we thought that would take a lot of time. In that sense we’re surprised that people have reached the level cap in such a short time. We’re actually really worried about those people – worried that they’re still sleeping and eating!”
With so many players already reaching the level cap, people are wondering if the cap will ever be raised. While Sakaguchi didn’t give a direct answer, he did hint at the possibility.
“We recognize that a lot of people have reached level 20, and that there’s not much left to do in the game. There’s not much I can announce today, but I hope you can look forward to some future announcements.”
One of the main complaints from fans of Splatoon, besides the lack of voice chat, is the inability to make a team with friends. Currently you can join friends games, but the teams and stages are always randomized. Have no fear Inklings! The ability to create games, as well as additional levels, weapons, and content, will all be coming with a major update in August.
In the interview, Sakaguchi said that some players switch away from the gyroscope controls, to a more traditional twin stick control scheme, but he hopes players will give the new option a chance.
“About 70-80 per cent of players are using the gyro controls. That’s not to say we’re forcing it on to them. From our point of view, we think that the gyro controls are the best way to play Splatoon, the reason being there are two main movements you need for a shooter. One is moving the body, the other is aiming where you’re shooting. In that sense, we think for Splatoon the gyro gives that subtle movement and more precise actions to be able to really experience the game in a much better way.”
Lastly, Sakaguchi and his team hope that Splatoon will be an IP that will carry on for many generations. With the low hardware sales of the WiiU, and the dawn of the NX slowing coming upon us, I really do hope that as many people as possible get a chance to experience this unique online shooter in the future.
“We’re extremely happy about the response we received from everyone, but we feel it’s just the start. Splatoon, our main goal, is for the people who are currently playing, when they become adults, to pass it on to their children.”
Are you a fan of Splatoon? Are you still playing this additive shooter? Or did you stop after hitting the level cap? Let us know in the comments down below!
Season 6, Episode 7: “Brother, Where Art Thou”
Air Date: Tuesday, July 21, 2015
In this week’s episode of Pretty Little Liars, Hanna performs minor surgery on the girls, Emily gets her mack on, and Charles throws himself a very weird birthday party.
Spencer and Aria huddle around their laptop watching YouTube videos on how to remove a microchip from a puppy when a phone rings. Aria starts rubbing her neck, wondering if that is where the ringing came from. I have no words for Aria right now. In positive Aria news, she has decided her Doll Phase (which she compares to Picasso’s blue phase) is over and she is going to throw away all her dolls.
After Aria leaves, Toby stops by fresh from the police seminar he was attending. Seriously, a police seminar? That may be the best excuse PLL has ever concocted to explain a character’s absence. Spencer doesn’t want to lie to Toby about everything that is going on, so she tells him she is going to Aria’s to work on her Valedictorian speech, and then heads to The Brew to hang with Hanna. While at The Brew, Spencer gets a call from Ali. Ali explains that she has been MIA because her dad received a death-birthday card from Charles, and then took himself and his daughter off the grid. Jason wouldn’t run away with them though because he is determined to meet his non-imaginary friend/ older brother. While Spencer is on the phone with Ali, Sabrina the stoner baker saunters by and slips some gummy edibles into Spencer’s bag.
Hanna walks down in the morning about to scurry off for breakfast when Ashley hands her a cash filled box of lasagna for Hanna’s college tuition. Just kidding, lasagna money is so Season One. What Ashley really hands Hanna is a check for thirty thousand dollars courtesy of the Carrasimi Group. Hanna is suspicious when her mom lets it slip that Jason suggested she apply for the scholarship and that the DiLaurentis’ used to donate to that firm After some online sleuthing, she discovered that Carrasimi is the same investment group that paid to shut down Radley. Spencer is convinced that Carrasimi is actually a front company to Charles’ bank account.
Sara’s ‘friend’ Claire shows up at the Brew looking for Emily, in hopes that she can reconnect with Sara. At first Emily is suspicious, but decides that she is okay with Sara interacting with another character on the show. Sara isn’t sure if she wants to see her old friend, but she warms up to the idea when Emily offers to be her escort. The two proceed discuss their kiss from the previous night and Sara isn’t sure if she dreamed the kiss or if it was real. Oh man, I wish I could wake up from a dream of kissing Emily and have it be real.
But then Sara says one of most disturbing lines of the episode or maybe even the series. She says “I’ve had enough pretend kisses. This was my first real kiss in three years.” Is she insinuating that Charles forced Sara to kiss him in the Dollhouse? Did Charles molest all of the girls, or just Sara, who he forced to act and dress like his sister? How is this line said and overlooked so easily? Emily doesn’t blink an eye by Sara’s comment and tells Sara they should probably slow down and try to figure out what they individually want.
When Emily and Sara arrive at the countryside milk and cookie shop Sara immediately reconnects with her old friend. While Claire fills Sara in on all the dirt and drama she missed out on while being kidnapped for three year, Emily is delegated to be the third wheel and is forced to awkwardly people watch. As they are about to leave, Claire invites Sara to stay over at her house, possibly for an extended period of time and Emily goes into full-on protective, jealous girlfriend mode. She comes up with a hundred reasons for why Sara cannot stay with Claire, and whenever Claire tries to counter, Emily shoots her right back down. Jealously really doesn’t look good on Emily.
After the meeting though, Sara decides that she is going to go live with Claire so she and Emily can start dating. She reasons that if she and Emily don’t live together they can go on real dates, eat food not prepared by Mrs. Field’s, and they can make out some more. I am with Sara until that last point. I am pretty sure it is a lot easier to sleep with someone when you literally sleep in the same room as them.
The Gang
Now that Sara has moved out, Emily attends her first Scooby meeting in god knows how long and gets caught up on the day’s shenanigans.
The meeting turns into a battle of the competent liars (Spencer and Hanna) versus the liars with their heads up their asses (Aria and Emily). Spencer and Hanna lay out their plan to catch Charles. First, Hanna will surgically remove the microchips from the liars’ necks and leave the chips at Spencer’s house, so A thinks they are at home (every week I think that I can’t possibly love Hanna more, and then she does something like pull out a semi-sterile suture kit). Second, they will follow Jason using the GPS Hanna planted on his car. Emily doesn’t think it will work due to the fact that A pretty much has superpowers, which to Em’s credit is kind of a valid point. Then Aria makes the always smart suggestion of telling the Rosweood PD what is going on and letting them handle it. Aria needs to stop talking this season. Everytime she does, her lack of any common sense physically hurts me.
Spencer compromises with Aria, they will let Toby in on their plan because he is trustworthy and he is a cop. When Spencer tells Toby the plan he applies the new skills he learned at his week long police seminar and tries to act all cop like wanting to do everything by the book. When will people realize you can’t do something by the book when you are dealing with Charles. Spencer uses her sexy Spencer voice to talk him down, he agrees to play by the liars rules, and grabs some special gummies from Spencer’s bag on his way out.
The liars follow Jason’s GPS signal to a creepy abandoned playhouse, full of rows and rows of pinball machines. Just as Jason is about to finally meet and talk to his brother, Toby and Lorenzo barge in, ruining the brotherly bonding moment and spooking Charles. Charles turns on all of the arcade lights to distract the cops and Toby, who has been shoveling Spencer’s edible gummies into his mouth all night, starts tripping balls. I mean he is hardcore tripping and the flashing lights and loud carnival noises do nothing to help.
When Jason gets home, he is livid. All he wanted to do was meet his older brother, who was kept away from him for all these years. Yes, Charles tried to kill his sister, and yes he tortured and kidnapped six girls, but it was his right to meet his brother! Ali tries to console but is distracted when the two hear voices upstairs. When they get to the attic, an old home video of their second cousin Freddie’s birthday party is playing. The two siblings realize that Freddie wasn’t their second cousin, he was their brother!
So to quickly recap A=Charles=Freddie. Get it? got it? Good!
Hanna Quotes of the Week:
Hanna: Except now we have hardware in our necks. God, we’re like cyclops. Spencer: Cyborgs Hanna: I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced cyclops.
Questions:
Remember when the IRS was supposed to be on the case, shouldn’t they have figured that Carrasimi was laundering Charles’ money before two high schoolers did?
Why are all of Charles’ childhood videos shot on old school projector film? He grew up in the 90’s, weren’t home videos were shot on VHS by then?
Why did Charles waste all this money on chipping the liars when all you need to do to find one is wait at The Brew?
In an interesting move, Nintendo has decided to partner with Facebook to help promote the launch of the much anticipated Super Mario Maker on September 11, 2015. Nintendo announced on their Twitter account yesterday that the promotion will be through a special “Hackathon” contest for Facebook employees.
“Nintendo is partnering with Facebook to celebrate the launch of #SuperMarioMaker! (1/2) Facebook employees will design levels in the game in a competition, w/ one level available to download for free after launch. (2/2)”
Each employee will be given a chance to create their own levels within the new Nintendo title. The entries will then be voted on by Nintendo and Facebook to crown the winner. The winning level will then appear in the final game.
After the Twitter announcement, Nintendo sent out a press release giving more detail on the contest:
“Hackathon events are a unique element of the Facebook company culture, and an opportunity for employees to pursue a project outside their day-to-day responsibilities to rapidly create something that interests them. The Super Mario Maker hackathon is exclusively for Facebook employees to design a special level in the game. At the event, participants will be using the demo version of the game that drew rave reviews at the recent E3 video game trade show to create levels using the in-game tools that will become available to a wider audience when the game launches exclusively for Wii U on the 11th of September.
The event will culminate with designers presenting their creations to a panel of judges from Nintendo and Facebook. The winning individual or team has the opportunity to make the level available for Super Mario Maker owners to play after the game’s launch. Nintendo will be making a video series documenting the event available for fans to view shortly after the event concludes, and fans can also check in to Nintendo’s social media channels on July 28 and July 29 for live updates.”
I find it odd that all voting will be conducted by Nintendo and Facebook employees only. I feel it would have been much more enjoyable and exciting for gamers and fans to vote on the winner, but this isn’t the first time I didn’t agree with Nintendo’s decisions. One thing we can all agree on: More levels for Super Mario Maker is always a good thing!
Are you excited for the upcoming release of Super Mario Maker? Do you think Nintendo should have handled this content differently? Let us know in the comments down below!
Total Divas Season 4, Episode 3 – “Eat Your Heart Out” Air Date – July 21, 2015
(By danielle stolman w/ Matt Perrii)
Last week, the Divas came to our hometown of San Jose, California as WrestleMania 31 was right around the corner at Levi’s Stadium. Even with the fun and games came the usual drama: Paige couldn’t find a dress for the Hall of Fame. She met a huge fan of hers at Santana Row who inspired her to fix her eating disorder. Nattie spent a great deal of time worrying over her Dad after he threw a tantrum at a treatment center. And the Divas are still pissed at Eva Marie for being NOT IN FLORIDA!!!
How much angrier can the Divas be at Eva? Will Jim Neidhart make a full recovery? WILL WE GET TO SEE MORE OF SAN JOSE?!
Let’s find out…
We start out with the newest bit of Diva wisdom, this time from Nikki “Confucius” Bella:
SAN JOSE, CA
We’re still doing this, are we?:
(MATT: OUR Golden Gate Bridge is way better than the one in San Francisco.)
Takai Sushi & Saki Bar (inside of The Fairmont Hotel, San Jose) Eva and Jon come down to the lobby and run into Daniel Bryan, Nikki and Brie who are eating. They exchange pleasantries and The Bellas invite Eva and Jon to stay and eat something. Eva’s really weirded out and confused as two minutes ago, the Bellas were ready to remove Eva’s head from her neck. Jon asks if anyone’s seen Levi’s Stadium yet. The Bellas haven’t but they’re dying to see what it looks like. There’s a long, uncomfortable silence. Time goes by. Everyone finishes up. Brie’s getting a bit loaded on champagne, glances over at Eva and rolls her eyes. Nikki looks concerned and starts to awkwardly start some conversation directly to Eva. Brie interrupts and yells at their waiter for the check. Nikki wants to have lunch with Eva. Eva accepts, telling the camera that, hopefully, this lunch meeting will smooth everything over. Brie, on the other hand, says she “knows the type of person Eva Marie is” and says she doesn’t need Eva as a friend. Neither does Nikki. (MATT: It’s weird that Brie’s angry about Eva lying about not being in Florida on a show that’s lying about the Golden Gate being a part of our city.)
Silicon Valley Capital Club for WWE Superstars for Hope
(MATT: The Capital Club?! Shit, aren’t they the fuckin’ Kennedys…) WWE’s various stars are here for the charity event, “Superstars for Hope”. Steph and Triple H are here as well. Nikki says she “always wants to keep the locker room in order”. (MATT: Like the time she bitched behind Eva’s back and helped gang up on her backstage. That was expertly handled.) She says she can tell Eva is being distant. Naomi hands Nattie a drink. Nattie winces, saying it’s “a little sweet”. Naomi gives her a “WTF is wrong with you” look. (MATT: She almost bought a butt-plug for her cat to play with. There’s a lot wrong with Nattie.) Nattie asks Eva how she’s doing. Eva talks about the sushi meal with the Bellas and says that Nikki says she wants to talk. Nattie agrees that this is the best course of action. (MATT: YES! LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE!!!) Naomi calls what happened to Eva an “ambush” and says that that lunch with Nikki’s a “set-up”. Eva and Jon laaaaaugh. Nikki’s getting bombed outside on the deck overlooking San FranJose. Eva says that Nikki’s the top girl and should be setting an example.
The Farmer’s Union (Restaurant) Man…this continues to be awesome. Matt and I have eaten there before Sharks games. Anyhow, Nikki, Brie and Daniel are having dinner.Brie’s having more booze. (MATT: I don’t think there’s been a shot of her without a champagne glass in this episode.) Brie wants to be pregnant. Nikki wants Brie to stay, then wonders where she will be next year. Daniel Bryan: “Alone.” Nikki sarcastically thanks him for his answer and asks the two of them if they even care about her and her need to “have a baby”. (MATT: WHAT?! Didn’t we already go through this?) Brie and Bryan say no. Bryan tells Nikki it’s her own fault. Nikki’s indignant and asks Bryan to clarify that. Bryan says that John has already said he doesn’t want kids. Nikki chose to stay with him anyhow. It doesn’t matter, he says. “For the betterment of our species, John needs to mate with somebody who is super athletic and super intelligent.” Nikki’s insulted by this and says she’s sooooo intelligent, claiming that she got a “3.2 GPA in high school”. Brie remembers it being a “2.8”. Bryan laughs. Nikki says that Brie should talk: she put her name in the wrong box on her SAT’s. Brie confirms this and says they “docked her 100 points for that”. For some reason, Bryan finds this to be high comedy. (MATT: RUN, DANIEL, RUN!)
1 DAY UNTIL WRESTLEMANIA…
The Fairmont Hotel Nattie meets Alundra Blayze/Madusa in the lobby. Nattie’s inducting her into the WWE Hall of Fame and she’s excited because Blayze was awesome and kicked ass. Nattie says she wants to do Blayze justice.
Meanwhile, Mama Bella meets Nikki and Brie inside one of the conference rooms, presumably. They’re getting their hair and make-up done. Nikki says she’s gonna talk to Eva to see if they can sort things out. Her Mom is happy to hear that some diplomacy is in the works because the Divas are around each other 24/7 (MATT: Dressing…undressing…knitting exciting underwear…). Brie says it’s funny because Eva hasn’t been “around” at all. She’s been gone for 8 months. She keeps interrupting her Mom to make wise cracks about Eva and her Mom tells her to be quiet. Brie’s not having it and tells the camera she’s done with Eva Marie. Nikki says it sucks because everything’s so different now. She says to fix this and not listen to Brie.
Eva comes into the conference room with Nikki. Eva’s hair’s all done up and Nikki loves it. Layla hangs out, getting her hair and make-up done as well. Nikki and Eva go into another room. (MATT: This is painful. Here’s a snippet of the “conversation” to give you an idea:)
“We haven’t gotten to talk to you…since, like…all the drama…”
“I know! It’s been, like…huh?”
Nikki says that people have been going crazy because Eva thinks she’s above everyone else. (MATT: “And I’m just, like, here, like, to, like, drag you back to, like, our level.”) Nikki tells the camera that she came to get this fixed but Eva “is portraying herself as the victim (MATT: She is.) and, like, WHOA, what a bitch!” Nikki starts insulting Eva, saying she “isn’t a wrestler and nobody thinks of her as a wrestler. (MATT: This is darkly ironic.) Eva can’t even get a word in edgewise. Nikki says that’s why they don’t “talk about her or worry about her”. (MATT: Which is why Nikki’s worried about her…wait…what?) Eva says she’s been busting her ass and she says that Nikki should be setting the tone and not dragging everyone through the mud. She says Nikki’s just worried because she knows Eva can eventually get to the top. Nikki says you “can’t win the Divas Title in six months”. (MATT: “Only Paige and AJ can do something like that!”) Nikki calls Eva “comical” and tries to shift blame. Eva says that’s far from what she’s doing. Nikki disagrees and says, “I’m not stupid.”
(MATT: And I’m like…)
Nikki continues to browbeat her, then leaves the conversation and tells Eva to “figure it out”. Eva stands there, baffled, and says she is figuring it out. That’s what she’s been doing. Eva says Nikki came to her and that’s why she’s here. Nikki says that Eva thinks she’s a “bad champion”. Eva says that’s not what she said at all. Nikki tells Eva she’s “done” with her. They both go their separate ways. Eva takes off her mic equipment and tells the TD Production crew that she’s “done”.
Nikki goes back to her room and whines to Brie about things, saying she “almost punched Eva in the face”. She recaps everything for Brie and tells Brie she’s right. Brie: “That’s actually comical.” Nikki starts portraying herself as a victim and even turns on the waterworks, saying that she “means so much as a champion”. (MATT: She’s convinced half the locker room to get fake boobs.) Brie is upset that he sister is (MATT: Fake crying.) crying and says that Nikki is the best champion ever. She says that “people bullied Nikki online for her weight”. (MATT: No, they didn’t. It was one guy saying that Nikki was “phat”.)
Suddenly, it’s MAMABELLAOUTOFNOWHERE. She asks what’s going on. And the recap begins AGAIN. (MATT: Jesus christ…I’m gonna go make a sandwich…tell me when they stop recapping the same thing, ok?) Brie calls Eva an idiot and walks off like a spoiled child.
SAP Center for the WWE Hall of Fame
Backstage Nattie’s getting her make-up done and tells the make-up artist about how her Dad is making her crazy with demands. He wanted to wear a pink tie tonight so she had to go find one. She calls her Dad who tells her not to worry so much about him and he’s got the tie thing under control. Because of this, she can barely remember her speech. Suddenly, one of the WWE execs shows up and tells Nattie to kill the “Arn Anderson” portion of her induction speech. Nattie fights this to no avail. Nattie sighs and sits in a chair, getting her hair done.
Red Carpet Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella are interviewed about the Warrior Award. Bryan says that he gets emotional thinking about it. Nikki talks about how red-carpety things are cuz, like OMG, it’s like the prom!
Backstage Paige talks about her “gown” which “rebels” against other gowns. Eva shows up with Jon and nobody will talk to her in the hallways. She retreats to the breakroom so that she can feel better about things by “shoving lettuce in her mouth”. (MATT: Oh no, somebody stop her before she tries the dip.) Jon defends her Sheep/Lion quote. He says that she already won the argument without even arguing. He says that Eva’s a lion and that the other Divas are sheep. Lions do what lions do and sheep do what sheep do, so go be a lion. (MATT: He’s lion — er, LYIN’. OW!!! I’M JUST KIDDING!!!) They bump fists and she tells him that he has meat his teeth. He tells her he just ate two steaks. (MATT: Stop him before he tries the lettuce!)
Everyone is meeting backstage, taking pictures and what not. Nattie’s family shows up and she sobs to them about having her speech truncated. Her sister, Jenni, hugs her and so does Jim. Jim tells her to relax like he is. He yells in her face that he’s calm.
Stage Daniel presents the Warrior Award to Connor Michalek. Brie gets all (MATT: Wet.) weepy (MATT: Same thing.) and says she can’t wait for Daniel to be a father to their kids.
Nattie presents her award to Alundra Blayze — and she decides to tell the Anderson story anyhow. Nattie says she’ll “wrestle”. She isn’t afraid.
THE DAY OF WRESTLEMANIA…
San Jose Convention Center for WWE Axxess
Event Floor The Bellas are signing autographs. Eva Marie shows up. She’s excited to be there and says that so many people have said she can’t do something. She proves them wrong. When you do that, it’s nothing but silence.
LEVI’S STADIUM for WrestleMania 31
Backstage The Bellas go out to the stadium to take a look. Paige is with them. They’re all so excited. Nikki immediately melts back into the “passion for the business” bullshit. They all hug. Nikki says “I’m glad we’re all on the card tonight…it’s so deserving”. (MATT: Thaaaat’s not how you say that…) Eva’s here and backstage. She’s not on the card but vows to be so next year.
As the stadium starts filling up, more backstage shenanigans take place. Nattie tells her dumb “Lawler puppies” joke to Layla. Layla tells her the “kitties” line means “va-jay-jay”. Nattie had no idea. Bret Hart shows up. Neidhart looks at Nattie’s weird jacket and asks were her “whip” is. Nattie freaks out and says she “needs to find one”. (MATT: Can we stop pretending she’s a dominatrix already?)
Ringside Michael Cole welcomes everyone to WrestleMania. Nattie escorts Cesaro and Tyson Kidd out to the ring for the big Fatal Four-Way Tag Title Match. The match is the usual insanity. Naomi prides herself on “hitting Nattie in the face with her ass” while Nattie locks Torito in a Sharpshooter. Cesaro and Kidd win the day
Backstage Naomi greets Jimmy Uso’s kids, Jadian and Jayla backstage. He asks if they’re proud of her. They meet Alicia Fox.
MATT:
“Mommy…it looks like you guys lost…is that true?”
“Well…yeah, honey…but we had fun…”
“You had fun losing?”
“No…I mean, yes. We’re losing but we’re having fun.”
“Did you hit that girl with your butt?”
“YES! Didn’t that look fun?”
“HAHAHAHA! YAAAAAAY!!!”
Ringside/Backstage It’s the Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match. Daniel Bryan is introduced and Brie Bella is beaming backstage. Nikki wants to stay. Brie wants to be a mother. Alundra hears them both out as they watch Daniel Bryan become Intercontinental Champion.
Backstage Paige is psyched for her future and starts to cry a little as this is WrestleMania and she has butterflies. For some reason, Nikki and Brie practice in the stadium bar.
Ringside It’s time for the Divas tag match. Paige is out with AJ. The remaining Divas gawk over Paige’s jacket and how awesome it is. The Bellas make their way down to the ring. Brie says she can’t wait to tell her kids about this. Paige loves the atmosphere. Brie is proud of the division. AJ falls out of the ring and the Divas, backstage, criticize her. (MATT: Vince is like, “What? I had nothing to do with this editing job…”) AJ wins with the Black Widow. Cameron pees her pants about it.
Backstage Paige cries backstage and she loves Nikki who’s a “great champion” who has “helped her a lot”. Nikki talks about how fearless she is. Everyone pats their backs.
Wrestlemania ends…
ONE WEEK LATER…
PHOENIX, AZ
Fertility Clinic The doctor says that Brie is ovulating normally and she’s fertile. Daniel Bryan is a fucking sperm machine, creating three times the amount of sperm as a normal human being. Brie’s ready to be a parent tonight. She says she can’t wait to start trying and says she can be both a Diva and a mother. So, she’ll stay. (MATT: She will?!) Daniel agrees and says they can “try on the road”.
LOS ANGELES, CA
Agora Churrascaria (Restaurant) Eva and Jon have lunch. Eva met with Ronda Rousey’s agent and she signed with him. She says that now that this is over and done with, she’s ready to be the biggest, baddest Diva. (MATT: And she’s doing a great job, being included in the new…Divas…Division…wait…where’s Eva?)
That’s it for this week…
PUNCHES AND HUGS
Danielle
This week’s hug goes to…Natalya: Even though her “You can’t say this stuff” plot was phony, she finally got the balls to go against the grain. Her induction speech was memorable and Anderson was a trooper for playing along.
This week’s punch goes to…Nikki Bella: Let’s see…turning arguments around to suit her, insulting and browbeating Eva, making everyone else’s problems about her…I’m surprised she didn’t accompany Brie and Daniel to the doctor so she could tell them what to do if things “went wrong”.
Matt
This week’s hug goes to…Eva Marie: I’d go with Paige for being so emotional but she’s an idiot for going along with the Bellas. I pick Eva for having the balls to call Nikki on her selfish bullshit and standing up for herself. Nikki Bella’s like that spoiled prom queen who acts nice in front of everyone but treats everyone, individually, like shit.
Worst Diva of the Week…do I even need to mention her name? Nikki Bella: Fuck, saying that name makes me feel like I’m giving Voldemort energy. I cannot state just how awful she was and how pathetic WWE is to use editing to make her look like a victim.
Season 3, Episode 7: “Faith, Hope, and Love”
Air Date: Monday, July 20, 2015
Mariana
In last week’s episode Mariana finally told Callie that she slept with Wyatt. Since the ‘sleeping with Wyatt’ plot had been the bulk of Mariana’s storyline this season, you would think she would be dealing with the fallout of her actions. Nope. There was none. Mariana and Callie are as chummy as ever and continue with their plan to combine their money and buy a used (and apparently previously stolen) vehicle.
Mariana’s birth mother, Ana, has asked Mariana to be baby Isabella’s Godmother, but in order to do so, Mariana must first be baptized in the Catholic church. When Mariana tells Stef and Lena about her plan to get baptized, they lose their shit and are forced to have a discussion about their faith and belief systems. This is not the first time that The Fosters has brought up the issue of the Catholic church. It was discussed when Jesus (the twin that no longer exists) wanted to go to bible camp with his girlfriend as well as when Stef was dealing with her father’s death. This is the first time that the show has explored how Stef and Lena discuss spirituality and religion with their children. Stef and Lena have issue prescribing to a belief system that says the life they have built together is a sin. They also have issue with Mariana’s abuelo telling her that if she does not get baptized she will go to hell. This puts Mariana in a difficult and uncomfortable position, essentially having to decide between making her moms happy, or her birth mother happy. She decides that getting baptized is worth it if it means she can be there for Isabella, and is all ready to go through with it until she sits down with the priest.
The priest says every wrong thing he could possibly say to Mariana. First he calls her ‘Mariana Gutierrez,’ and then tells her that even though her mommas are sinners for being gay, they are allowed to walk into his church. If Mariana is one thing, it is loyal and protective of her mothers and she decides to not go through with the baptism.
Brandon
Brandon is back at Idyllwild and he is now sharing a pianist with Tom, the douchebag who got him kicked out of camp and then helped him back in. Brandon composes a piece for a prepared piano and it is fucking amazing. I have never heard of a prepared piano before this episode, but I am actually obsessed. He is not sure if his composition is too out of the box, asks douchebag dough boy for advice who suggests that maybe Brandon should take a step back and submit a more reserved piece, so that is what Brandon does. Meanwhile, Tom takes the liberty to completely steal Brandon’s idea of a using a prepared piano. Brandon chases after him, throws down the gauntlet and tells Tom, game on.
AJ/Callie
While Mariana might not have to deal with the consequences of last week’s episode, the same cannot be said for AJ and Callie. Stef and Lena call a meeting with Callie to discuss her kiss with AJ, and invite Rita over for moral support. They tell her that AJ is going to be moving in with Rita until Mike’s fostering license goes through, because they can’t have Callie hooking up with yet another foster brother under their roof. Mike asks AJ about his feelings for Callie, and warns him off of Callie since she has a horrible track record with all romantic relationships, especially those involving foster brothers.
AJ’s brother Ty also shows up and he is a huge asshole as well as a bad influence on AJ. The entire time he is with AJ he is shitting on Mike and putting ideas into AJ’s head about how they kicking him out of the Adams-Foster house because he is black and AJ starts to believe him. Ty, you are the worst. You vanish from your younger brother’s without him knowing whether you are dead or alive and then show up out of blue and try to ruin this amazing new life he has which includes making out with his foster sister. Ty is just the worst.
The next day, Callie realizes she needs to move her new car to avoid a parking ticket and AJ tags along. As they are driving, they get pulled over by a cop, due to the fact that she bought a stolen car. Of course this results in AJ and Callie getting arrested. Callie’s social workers stops by the house, and Lena and Stef assume that it is to discuss Callie’s arrest. They are prepared for this conversation, ready to tell her that it was all a misunderstanding, but the social worker is there for another reason. The social worker found out about the restraining order Stef and Lena put on Brandon against Callie, and says that until she gets to the bottom of this, it is not safe for Callie to live with the Adams-Fosters. Callie will need to be removed from their care.
The Fosters airs on Mondays on ABC Family at 8/7c.
“Southpaw”
Directed by Antoine Fuqua Written by Kurt Sutter Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rachel McAdams, Forest Whitaker, Oona Laurence, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Skylan Brooks, Naomie Harris, Victor Ortiz, Beau Knapp, Miguel Gomez Grade: ** out of ****
Leila Hope (Oona Laurence), angry and frustrated, sits on the floor with her father. She doesn’t use a bench with a table like all the other kids around the room. Like her dad, she’s rough around the edges, street-wise. Tough. She’s learned some new words in school and she needs him to help quiz her on her spelling.
He reads the word “Dismantled”. She spells it.
“Hopelessness,” he says. She spells it perfectly — then takes the paper away and declares the impromptu spelling bee over.
This is meant to be a serious moment in this movie. Instead, I found myself (and about half the audience) snickering. I doubt that’s a response the film’s creators were intending to illicit.
‘Southpaw’ is well-intentioned filmmaking. It wants to be great. It has “Oscar” on the front of its boxing trunks and one of those “actor transformations” that audiences, critics and Academy members still, somehow lose their collective shit over. If only it weren’t held down by a formulaic, forced, cliche-ridden script and generic execution.
Jake Gyllenhaal plays boxer Billy “The Great” Hope. Yup. The film revels in meat-headed metaphorical irony the same way a dog rolls in dirt after a bath. Hope’s the Die Hard Battery of boxing. He takes a pounding but always comes out on top. He seems like a cool character but, inside, he’s full of rage. When upstart challenger Miguel Escobar (Miguel Gomez) begins to taunt him, Hope pushes his agent, Jordan Maine (50 Cent), to get the match signed. Maine’s all over the idea with his “if it makes money” attitude.
In the Madison Square Garden dressing room, BIlly prepares for his fight against Darius Jones, Maureen inspires and soothes her husband the boxer. JG, RM
The problem is that Hope’s wife, Maureen (Rachel McAdams) thinks that Hope’s on his way to permanent brain damage if he continues the path he’s on. He defends himself, propping up his record: a flawless “43-0” and appeals to her materialistic side, but Maureen isn’t hearing it. It’s all for naught anyway. Maureen dies of a stray bullet following an altercation between Billy and Escobar’s entourages at a fundraiser. But forget about all that. The cops simply ask Billy one question, then let him go because he “has to get home”. Investigations don’t exist in this movie. Something about a “lack of witnesses”. This is puzzling to me, since there were about 100 people in the hallway when the shooting happened, but screw it. Nothing gets in the way of a redemption story!
From here, Billy has a fall from grace so improbable, it makes Lindsay Lohan’s antics look subtle. ALL of his money suddenly “dries up” due to “overdue bills and taxes”. That’s not how that works. I may not be a millionaire but that’s not how that works. There’s an insinuation that Maine bled him dry but the movie never really stops to explore that. In any case, the bank takes every single thing he owns and to complete this Book of Job-esque trip through hell, his daughter is subjected to the state’s Child Protective Services agency where caseworker, Angela (Naomie Harris), makes Hope feel less than, uh…hopeful.
What’s Billy to do? He wants to fight again. So, he enlists the help of Tick Wills (Forest Whitaker), this film’s equivalent of Pai Mei, the bearded master sensei in Kill Bill. He’s one of those retired, grizzled (I love that: “grizzled”) boxing movie characters whose sole reason for existing is to help redeem wayward characters who want to box somebody with their life on the line. When he reluctantly accepts, he teaches Billy new stuff like “sticking and moving” and “defending himself”. For somebody with the kind of boxing record Billy has, you’d think he knew that already but, no. Wills is there, teaching him. About ten minutes later, he’s ready to fight Escobar with everything on the line.
The movie is written by Kurt Sutter who is no stranger to grit and violence. He’s the creator of FX’s Sons of Anarchy and also wrote several episodes for the acclaimed drama, The Shield, so it’s ironic to me that his script is under-developed and lacks focus. His ideas are just that: ideas. Each unfortunate thing that happens to Billy/Leila isn’t explored or fleshed out in a manner that would make the proceedings more interesting. Who shot Billy’s wife? Did Escobar know about it? What makes Escobar tick? What happened to Billy’s money? Why did it vanish so quickly? Why is Angela accompanying Billy’s daughter to Vegas if he was awarded full custody of Leila? Simply exploring the notion that it was Escobar or somebody in his entourage who accidentally shot Maureen would have generated more sympathy for Billy and made the entire final bout worth an audience’s time and energy.
As it is, none of this is sufficiently answered and Antoine Fuqua’s hyper-kinetic depictions of life in the ring doesn’t do the film any favors, either. Fuqua (director of Training Day and The Equalizer) seems more interested in showcasing goofy, POV, in-ring camerawork. Billy’s fights, while stylish, seem to be inspired by Scorcese’s “Raging Bull” but Fuqua tweaks it so it’s less “Scorcese” and more EA SportsFight Night for Playstation 3. Fists punch directly into the camera and it’s hard to tell who’s throwing the punches because the style just doesn’t work.
Gyllenhaal, himself, looks like a video game character. A lot’s been said of how much he trained and worked out for the film, about how he looks like he actually belongs in a boxing ring. Am I the only one who’s apathetic about this? Yeah, he looks impressive, but the performance is mixed. At times, he’s effective — especially in scenes with Laurence, who truly steals the show as his tough-as-nails pre-teen daughter. At other times, it’s Gyllenhall playing Eminem (who was initially going to play Billy) playing Rocky. Every single line has Stallone’s trademark monosyllabic New York accent and there’s no real nuance or complexity past the fact that he’s an unlucky meathead, so I’ll be bold enough to declare that his extensive physical transformation is lipstick on a cinematic pig. The same goes for Rachel McAdams who spends over half the film straddling Billy or making seductive overtures and poses in tight body dresses, lingerie and/or bikinis all while the script insinuates that she’s the gentlest of gold-digging shrews. There’s even a scene where Billy reminds her that his money has “paid for the dress she’s wearing”.
Yeesh.
For all the hype and praise that accompanies this movie, “Southpaw” is nothing but a disappointing, cliched re-hash of earlier, better movies of its kind. It brings nothing new to the genre and that’s a shame. It coulda’ been a contender.
Today, SHOWTIME announced that the highly anticipated fifth season of the Emmy® and Golden Globe®-winning hit drama series HOMELAND will premiere on Sunday, October 4th at 9 p.m. ET/PT, followed by the second season premiere of the Golden Globe-winning drama THE AFFAIR at 10 p.m. ET/PT. The network also released the new season key art for HOMELAND’s fifth season.
Synopsis for Homeland’s fifth season:
HOMELAND season five will pick up two years after Carrie Mathison’s (Emmy®, Screen Actors Guild® and Golden Globe® Award winner Claire Danes) ill-fated tenure as Islamabad station chief. Struggling to reconcile her guilt and disillusionment with years of working on the front lines in the “war on terror,” Carrie finds herself in a self-imposed exile in Berlin, estranged from the CIA and working as the head of security for a German philanthropist. HOMELAND is currently in production in Berlin, and is the first American TV series to shoot entirely in Germany.
Synopsis for The Affair’s second season:
Season two of THE AFFAIR explores the emotional and psychological effects of an affair that destroyed two marriages, and the crime that brings these individuals back together. This season, the provocative drama will be told separately from four different perspectives, revealing four distinct truths.
Sunday is going to be a busy time slot for Homeland and The Affair as CBS’ The Good Wife and AMC’s The Walking Dead will also call that time slot home this upcoming Fall.
All that excitement about Fallout 4 have you interested in revisiting the entire series? Prefer to play your post apocalyptic games on the PC? Well great news because today at Quakecon 2015, VP of Bethesda Game Studios Pete Hines announced Fallout Anthology!
The anthology collects the complete Fallout collection in one package. Fallout, Fallout 2, Fallout Tactics, Fallout 3 Game of the Year and Fallout New Vegas Ultimate Edition. The gangs all here! Never before have all of these games been offered as one complete package and with Fallout 4 releasing this fall the timing couldn’t be better.
All 5 games come packaged in a collectible Fat Man mini-nuke, with audible bomb sounds and space for your copy of Fallout 4. The Fallout Anthology releases September 29th in North America and October 2nd across European territories. No price has been given yet in dollars, euros or bottle caps!
Are you excited to visit the Wasteland of yore and relive the series up to this point? Or are old games old and the upcoming release of Fallout 4 enough to satisfy you? Let us know in the comments down below!
Microsoft and Crystal Dynamics created quite the controversy at E3 2014 when they announced that Rise of the Tomb Raider would be exclusive to Xbox One and Xbox 360. This made many Tomb Raider fans and Playstation 4 owners upset in the fact that they would be unable to continue the story of the young Laura Croft in this freshly rebooted franchise.
Adding confusion to the matter was the fact that Microsoft and Crystal Dynamics were both silent and elusive when asked if the exclusivity was timed or entirely exclusive. Many fans on the internet took the knowledge they had, and assumed it was only timed. Why would a company stop a blooming series dead in its tracks by cutting their audience in half midway through this new saga?
Well, Playstation fans and nerds of the internet, rejoice!(*Editor’s Note: Who you calling a nerd, nerd?) Crystal Dynamics announced today that Rise of the Tomb Raider will grace the Playstation console 1 year after the Xbox release this November. They also announced that it will be coming to PC sometime in early 2016.
Crystal Dynamics also told fans not to worry. The Playstation version will not turn into a rushed, ported mess, handed off to a secondary team. They announced that the main Tomb Raider team behind the Xbox versions will be handling the transfer over to the Playstation platform. It is safe to assume that all DLC released between now and the holiday season of next year will also be included on the final release.
Are you bummed that you will need to wait an entire year to get your hands on Rise of the Tomb Raider? Or do you feel that Fallout 4 and Uncharted: A Thief’s End will keep you busy in the cold winter months? Let us know in the comments down below!
The Workprint’s Silicon Valley Season 2 episode reviews can be found here.
I’ve missed the guys at Pied Piper – their hijinks and shenanigans was a necessary palate cleanser after each hour of Game of Thrones this season. And while there were no standout jokes that could compare to season one’s “middle out hand-job equation”, I really enjoyed the ups and downs of their sophomore season. New characters like Laurie and Russ Tanneman were perfect additions as Silicon Valley continued to develop the core group making their quirks even better. So when presented with the opportunity to rewatch this season all over again for Silicon Valley’s release on Digital HD, I humbly accepted.
I’ve missed these guys. Even the blowhard Erlich, played by the amazing TJ Miller, whose character I should stop trying to find a deeper level to and come to accept that he’ll forever be the one I laugh and shake my head at.
Silicon Valley is a series that lends itself to binge watching. Unlike other sitcoms that more or less “reset” at the end of each episode, this show’s narrative through line carries the viewer from week to week. And since many of these episodes end in some form of cliffhanger (usually caused by a colossal fuck up on Pied Piper’s end) the need to find a comfortable stopping point is natural. The only problem is that these natural stopping points never comes, so it’s quite easy to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon noon binging on all ten episodes in a brisk five hours. Even though the number of episodes is on the lighter side, having more of them would bog down the story in frivolous plots. If anything, I wish that the entire season was released this way every year, but it’s probably better that it’s parsed out for me and I don’t have to use self-restraint.
However, that isn’t to say that the season release of Silicon Valley is without it’s own problem. The biggest issue I had was that it didn’t have a single extra or special feature. Normally I’m fine with this, but with my affinity for the show I wanted a little something extra to sink my teeth into. I’m not asking for much. I actually hoped for two things in particular. The first being a Blooper/Gag Reel. Given the show’s banter and arguments there’s bound to be some great ad-libs and character breaks hidden away in the archives. Second, one of my favorite aspects of the show is how grounded in reality it is. It’d be great to see a feature on how Silicon Valley was able to court some of the tech industry’s heavy hitters to participate in a show that makes of fun of them.
The second season of Silicon Valley is a great time. Now that I’ve finished watching it all over again, I can experience that withdraw period I blocked from my memory…
“Silicon Valley” Season 2 is now available on Digital HD.
During E3 2015, one of the stand out moments of Microsoft’s conference was the announcement of backwards compatibility for the Xbox One. Head of Xbox, Phil Spencer, even went so far to say that it is a major reason that the Xbox One was the best selling console the week of E3. However, according to Mike Ybarra, Xbox Director of Program Management, it was nearly stopped in its tracks due to technical limitations
In a recent interview with Xbox Wire, Ybarra let us behind the current on the struggles the company faced with bringing Xbox 360 games to the Xbox One. “We knew it would be an engineering challenge, and many people told us it would be impossible,” said Ybarra. “However, the team had convictions, and delivered.”
According to Ybarra, it took over 3 years to make this feature, one of the most requested by users, a reality. “The ability to play Xbox 360 titles on Xbox One has been one of the most-voted-for consumer feature requests. At a fundamental level, we believe that consumers should be able to play their content on the devices they own.”
I for one am very happy to see this feature become available to all Xbox One users by Holiday 2015 (it is currently available only to preview members). However, I am somewhat bummed that I no longer have my 360 game collection! Looks like I will be keeping my eyes open for a good deal on past 360 titles like Gears of War, Alan Wake (*Editor’s Note: A seriously underrated game), and more.
Are you excited to play your favorite Xbox 360 games again? Or are you only interested in new experiences? Let us know in the comments down below!
