Finally, Ballers begins to have some payoffs from all of the story lines. “Heads Will Roll”, picks up right where we left off after the corporate-sponsored “networking event”. Joe wakes up hungover in the filth of his boss’ yacht and then spots two gold diggers on the deck below. Sensing the shitstorm that is his boss seeing his trashed yacht, he curtly tries to kick the women off the boat. However, as soon as he sees that the women are with pro-ballers Victor Cruz and Lamar Woodley, he buggers off and instead hijacks the boat, seeing an opportunity to sign a star client.
Thus far, Joe has been portrayed as the sniveling white guy trying to profit from Spencer’s hard work, but here, he actually shows off a bit of why he has his job as a financial manger for wealthy clients. Regardless of his personality, he’s somewhat likable and finds a way to connect with Mr. Cruz. He uses his knowledge of being undervalued and overlooked to eventually convince Victor Cruz (undrafted free agent) to agree to a meeting, that is if he can survive his boss once the boat reaches shore.
After Ricky realizes that he’s been a literal motherfucker to one of his teammates during the party, he decides to break it off with her and instead assimilate into the team atmosphere. His willingness to sacrifice for the team however, is not met in kind. His Ferrari is towed by his teammates, sending him into a rage. This lands him in his GM’s office, which tries to get him to relax by teaching him a mantra “I am bigger than my problems.” I sure as hell hope so, you’re a multi-millionaire playing in Miami (no state income tax!). Seeing his Ferrari without wheels at the impound yard makes him repeat the mantra loudly, and we’ll see in the weeks to come how well he can fit in. It seems as though Ricky is making a real effort to renounce his stupidity, stupidity seems to follow him nonetheless.
Ricky isn’t off scot-free though. During last week’s party, Ricky gave Charles Greane’s phone number to a girl who doesn’t care about that Mr. Greane is married. She texts Charles relentlessly, and Charles, who looks like he’s about 16, has the worst poker face in the world, has to run from his wife. He tries to stay the dedicated husband for a while, but the draw of the player’s lifestyle and the unknown has him straying, at least that’s what it seems like at the end of this episode.
Spencer wakes up from assaulting Reggie, and is immediately accosted and semi-blackmailed into seeing a neurologist. With the new focus in the NFL on concussions and head injuries, I’m surprised that the league allowed Ballers to go into this territory, but he goes, and slowly, Spencer admits that he’s been suffering from gaps in his memory and trouble sleeping since he retired. As such, he’s terrified of an MRI. Luckily, a call from Vernon grabs his attention and he rushes out of the doctor’s office.
It turns out the Jason has actually been doing a bang up job negotiating a contract for Vernon. He’s going to be getting around $15 million a year, and Spencer and Jason are about to throw out handshakes and bro-hugs all around, except that Reggie, Vernon’s right-hand man wants a $100 million dollar contract and has convinced his source of income that it’s what he deserves. Vernon just isn’t that good of a player. When your agent and manager tells you to your face that you’re not worth that sort of money, you figure you need to take these things a face value. Reggie, being the incessant ass that he is, demands this money, or else he’s firing both of them. Spencer, having had enough, tells Vernon that once he gets his $300,000 back, he’s done with him.
Things finally come to a head, and while I understand this is a new series, four episodes of exposition was a bit much. Plots are coming to fruition, and while they’re not as deep as I would like, at least there is some genuine plot movement, as opposed to just flash. Hopefully this is the direction that Ballers takes, and this is the beginning of a new trend upwards.
After the Suicide SquadComic-Con footage was leaked online, director David Ayer tweeted that he would make things right and Warner Brothers has now posted the reel for viewers all over the world to see.
As we used to say in the #Navy stand-by to stand-by. We’re gonna make it right.
The upcoming film stars Jared Leto (The Joker), Will Smith (Deadshot), Margot Robbie (Harley Quinn), Viola Davis (Amanda Waller), Joel Kinnaman (Rick Flagg), Cara Delevingne (Enchantress), Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Killer Croc), Adam Beach (Slipknot), Jay Hernandez (El Diablo), and Jai Courtney (Captain Boomberang).
Suicide Squad is set to be released August 5, 2016.
SCREAM Season 1, Episode 2: “Hello, Emma”
GRADE: D-
“DOOSH!”
No, I didn’t misspell one of the most unfortunately resurrected and overused ad hominem attacks in recent years. And you can just forget it was misspelled — the series barely makes an effort to point it out. In fact, let’s just bury the word, “douche” as an insult because it’s vile as hell and doesn’t even make sense on its face.
Anyhow, the word is actually painted on the side of Tom’s truck. And he’s angry that the word “DOOSH” is there. So, either Tom is as fucking stupid as everyone else is on this show or he’s a master linguist who corrects your spelling on Facebook. Nope, it was the former. “THE PHOTO OF MY TRUCK JUST WENT VIRAL!” screams Tom, channeling Michael Shannon as Zod.
And the only thing I could ask was, “How in the holy hell did that go ‘viral’? Is this the Internet from 1996?”
By the way…you guys do remember Tom, the Teen TMZ jock second-in-command from last week? No…?
Neither did I. I actually had to go and look him up on IMDB. In fact, I had to look all these characters up.
And I don’t wanna hear, “Maybe you’re getting old and the old brain isn’t working the way it used to.” I’m 37 and, after the first season of many of the shows I watched, I can recite the names of every single character from Game of Thrones, Veep, and Mr. Robot, just to name a few. Look, either MTV’s “Scream” is some slow-drip masterpiece of teen horror or I’m right and this is one of the most ludicrous shows on television.
It even starts and ends the same way: the killer kills…hang on, I think IMDB knows this. You know what? Screw it. He kills a blonde girl who’s all depressed and cuts herself with razor blades because I think that’s the only teen stereotype Scream hasn’t raided and taken advantage of yet. It’s the normal thing. He calls the girl, she thinks it’s somebody else, the killer tells her to start opening doors in her house to find out where they’re hiding like it’s some warped version of “The Price is Right” where, instead of winning a new Chevy truck, you get stabbed in the kidneys — and she does it because the idea of this somehow seems as intriguing and alluring to a manic depressive as “Candy Crush”. Anyhow, the girl bites it because she goes outside when she shouldn’t have. She’s hung from the balcony of the second floor of her house — though, to her credit, she’s not wearing a thong and bra…so there’s that. Though, at this point, that probably would have been preferable to what this show is putting me through on a weekly basis.
The police who, I swear, haven’t left the precinct since the episode started, are very troubled to learn that this is connected to Emma’s past because the killer is using a “Brandon James mask”. This, after the killer taunts them with an animated selfie GIF of him/herself with a body floating in a pool behind them. The GIF — you guessed it — “WENT VIRAL” even though mass-texting a GIF isn’t “going viral”.
That’s one thing. The other thing is that the original “Ghostface” mask was inspired by the famous painting “The Scream” by Edvard Munch. The painting depicts a man screaming against a backdrop consisting of blood-red clouds. Munch said he painted it because it was as if a scream had cut through the once-peaceful landscape around him.
Admittedly, the new mask created for the show is creepy and off-putting, but saying it’s a mask mimicking the town’s thought-to-be-deceased mass-murderer? I mean, first, that makes no sense even if you’re high from downing amphetamines with Maker’s Mark. The police have seen this mask before? Is it sold in stores? Does the family of the killer know somebody’s profiting off his death? Can we get an answer to any of that, please?
The fun of the last mask was that it meant something. It was reminiscent of a nightmare. I’m not scared of the new mask despite the fact that it’s basically the original melted in the microwave.
The majority of the episode deals with Emma who confesses to her boyfriend that she kissed another guy. Seriously. The other characters deal with getting laid. Also, the lesbian girl from the last episode is the emotional crux of this one even though she’s surrounded by death and destruction. There’s a small segment where she watches old clips she recorded of her and the 2nd victim set to music but It never goes further than that — and it really needs to as the show is both devoid of anything that could be construed as “something to latch on to”.
I can’t even get with Noah, the “Randy” character in this mess. Let’s see: we’ve had a guy going around calling people and taunting them with Tumblr animations, while Noah tells us that this is basically like a TV show based on a horror film — and he’s answering vague texts and wandering into vacant football fields while yelling the name of the person who texted him. He’s fucking Randy from Scream. He’s hip to this bullshit. So, why is he doing everything he’s telling others not to do? And, worse yet, he’s advertising other goddamn movies. He’s laying there with “Riley” (and I had to dig for that name — IMDB has her listed 15th or so on the cast list) and they’re talking Terminator. Noah’s explaining how awesome Sarah Connor is and Riley responds the only way this show talks outside of being horny: “Is that the new Terminator movie that just came out?”
Jesus H. Balding Christ Eating a Cracker on a Raft. The irony of this is that they don’t suddenly superimpose images from the film on the bottom half of the screen with IN THEATERS NOW plastered across it. I’d be praising that decision — except the aforementioned space on your HD screen is reserved, instead, to tell us the name of the “songs” that play during key scenes on the show. I put “songs” in quotes for a reason, as they consist of what ever yowling, hellish emo shit most likely didn’t make the cut from all five Twilight soundtracks. MTV is obviously obligated to plug these songs being who they are. Either that or the producers haven’t yet discovered that Shazam exists. The latter is a safe bet since MTV apparently thinks spam texts and “going viral” are the same thing.
So, as I said, the show ends with the Killer calling Emma and taunting her and, just like last week, this was the best part of the show. Hell, the episode is named after the ending scene, which makes one speculate that even the writers are subliminally admitting defeat. Emma’s the person we have to “like” despite the fact that she really doesn’t stand out from the others on the show. I really can’t blame the show’s producers. They were given a terrible, unlikeable cast and they’re being forced to focus on the lesser of 10 evils.
The only good thing I can say is that the show seemed tighter this week, which is probably due to a running time that’s about 20 minutes lighter than last time…but this show will only survive because it’s being watched by a generation who thinks the “DOOSH” gag was funny — and probably spells it that way, too.
MR. ROBOT Season 1, Episode 3: “d3bug.mkv”
GRADE: B+
“I’m gonna be more ‘normal’ now. Maybe Shayla can even be my new girlfriend. I’ll go see those stupid Marvel movies with her. I’ll join a gym. I’ll ‘heart’ things on Instagram. I’ll drink Vanilla Lattes. I’m gonna lead a bug-free life from now on. Anything to protect my perfect maze.”
Last week’s goofy ending (Mr. Robot pushing Elliot off a ledge) causes Elliot to re-think his life and just get plain weird in this week’s episode of “Mr. Robot”.
This episode finds Elliot waking up in the hospital to find his drug dealer, Shayla (she’s his emergency contact) and a hospital psych standing at the foot of his bed. He’s already defiant in his medical captivity, raging against the “drugs they’re pumping into him that the corporations make money off of”. Despite his anger, Elliot is able to doctor his records so as to not make him look like his Morphine addiction landed him here. He claims that every single person is full of “bugs” that make them imperfect and exposes the hospital’s pitiful cyber-security to erase the ones that plague him.
Lies are his specialty and he tells his psych that he’ll no longer rely on Morphine, immediately taking a bump at a local convenience store before finding out that Evil Corp’s cards are useless due to a major financial hack. Mr. Robot’s hacker colleague, Darlene is overjoyed. “Jessica Alba says she wants to join ‘fsociety’!” she declares with admiration and tinge of disgust.
Elliot’s boss, Gideon, remains stupidly optimistic, claiming that somebody from ‘fsociety’ will get sloppy — then invites Elliot, Angela and Ollie to his place for a nice steak dinner. Elliot remains his usual evasive self, declining the invite and Gideon’s not happy. He tries to feel out Elliot due to his missing time at work and his disheveled appearance — and Elliot tells him, in short order, to fuck off.
And, just when you think it can’t get worse, Mr. Robot appears right there at Elliot’s desk. After a brief altercation and a man-to-man talk, Mr. Robot informs him that Elliot is “the key to everything” and, without his help, fsociety is completely dead.
From there, Elliot looks to rid himself of his “bugs”, vowing to be “normal”. To hell with wishing for it, he asks Shayla to be his girlfriend (they even kiss — *GASP*!) and invites her to Gideon’s dinner party — much to Gideon’s shock. This sets up a great moment between Elliot/Shayla and Angela/Ollie where everyone shares awkward conversation about how they met. It’s moments like this where you truly get behind Elliot’s need to be away from people because, when it all comes down to it, why should anyone have to put up with the weird looks when you say you’ve only been with somebody “since today”?
And speaking of awkward, Ollie’s in big trouble: somebody has found out that he’s been cheating on Angela and they’re willing to make Ollie’s life a living hell by releasing their banking information along with their Social Security numbers — that is, unless Ollie brings in a CD containing a virus that will infect his entire workplace’s network. Does she do it? Eventually, she breaks and does. But we finally get to see into Angela’s soul. Earlier, during her daily jog, she picked up and returned a wallet belonging to a passerby. “You’re too good for this world and that’s probably why I love you so much.” Ollie remarks, causing Angela to visibly wince. The wallet moment brilliantly sets the table for the moment of truth: Ollie electing to confess his affair which tests his diagnosis of her character. Initially, it looks like Ollie’s wrong:
“I know I have a problem,” he pleads.
“Well, my problem is that I can’t be with somebody who has your problem,” she replies — then suggests that they have no choice but to infect the network, per fsociety’s orders.
As I’ve stated before, nearly everyone except for Elliot has been well-developed. It isn’t until this moment where we find out that underneath the Jedi Knight do-gooder shell lies a Sith Lord. This is a very welcome development as this show moves forward.
For all its pros, the episode has some unfortunate cons.
I’ll try to be brief about the heavy metaphorical sledgehammer this show continues to brandish. I know the aim was to make some sort of a point about “human bugs” and how everyone has them and that they can be fixed or found or lost and discovered and then fixed and then…the more Elliot talks about it, the more I’m inclined to chuckle at it and think of overwrought it is. The producers really need to start learning that less is more. That would tighten things up considerably.
This goes hand-in-hand with my other issue: Tyrell Wellick’s story. Without going into too much detail, he’s a very disturbed individual. He does the following:
Cheats on his wife to get ahead — even if it means sleeping with the same gender and bugging their phones.
It’s alleged that he beats her — but she allows it and loves rough sex — even when she’s pregnant.
He pays homeless people to allow him to kick the holy shit out of them.
He gives himself pep talks for meeting and physically abuses himself when he screws up his company pitch.
And I wouldn’t have an issue with it if it wasn’t derivative of a Bret Easton Ellis novel. For the last couple of episodes, we’ve been watching a very confident guy who controls everything and is smart, charming and demonically bright-eyed — and then there’s this arbitrary left turn where he’s suddenly a borderline psychopath who never smiles. It’s like we’re not even watching the same character anymore. I didn’t buy any of it. If that’s what they want to do with Wellick, great. But let’s pick a lane here.
Those might be minor gripes. The rest of the episode is brilliant stuff and I must say that the camerawork featured in this episode is some of the best I’ve seen so far. Some might think it apes David Fincher (and I’ll admit the people saying that have a point) but considering that Fincher’s production company’s involved, I have no problem with it. The cinematography just added to the episode.
Overall, I hope this is a sign of things to come for this series as this episode seems to make an immediate and welcome u-turn back to form for Mr. Robot.
Today at San Diego Comic Con, Starz gave Outlander fans a sneak peek of the second season with a few photos.
There’s not much to go on but considering the way things ended last season, the world looks a bit happier for Claire and Jamie Fraser. Starz had this to say about the season’s plot:
Season Two of Outlander begins as Claire and Jamie arrive in France, hell-bent on infiltrating the Jacobite rebellion led by Prince Charles Stuart, and stopping the battle of Culloden. With the help of his cousin Jared, a local wine merchant, Jamie and Claire are thrown into the lavish world of French society, where intrigue and parties are abundant, but political gain proves far less fruitful. Altering the course of history presents challenges that begin to weigh on the very fabric of their relationship. However, armed with the knowledge of what lies ahead, Claire and Jamie must race to prevent a doomed Highland uprising, and the extinction of Scottish life as they know it.
Starz also released a gag reel from the first season, which showcased the clumsiness of all the actors:
Outlander returns in 2016 with a 13-episode season and the Outlander: Season 1, Volume 2 arrives on Limited Collector’s Edition Blu-ray™Sept. 29th.
On paper 7 Days in Hell sounds like a brilliant idea for a short film. The sports mockumentary, which takes inspiration from ESPN’s 30 for 30 series, follows two tennis professionals in a grueling seven day match at Wimbledon. A week-long tennis match seems outrageous, but it’s in the tennis duel where 7 Days in Hell truly shines. Unfortunately, aiming to be over the top in many of its jokes causes 7 Days in Hell from becoming a brilliant spoof on sports documentaries.
Over 42 minutes, the documentary expands on the origins of competitors Aaron Williams and Charles Poole and their road to the longest match in tennis history. Aaron Williams, played by Andy Samberg, is the bad boy of tennis. Left on the street as a child by his mother, Richard Williams, the father of tennis professionals Venus and Serena, adopts young Aaron and “reverse Blindsides” him into a rockstar tennis pro. His competitor Charles Poole, played by Game of Thrones’ Kit Harington, is a child tennis prodigy who lives in fear of his overbearing and controlling mother. Like Harington’s Jon Snow, Poole really does know nothing. Lacking a proper education, thanks to his mother sending him to lorry school to become a truck driver, Poole is a bit of a dimwit. His ex-girlfriend even claims talking to him “was like talking to a child with brain damage.”
7 Days in Hell is littered with laughs throughout its run. Gags involving the art of courtroom drawings and the longest rally make up some of the best moments. However, events following Williams’ fall from tennis grace and the prolonged nature of the match start to drag down the mockumentary. There are multiple scenes involving male genitalia that would make you believe 7 Days in Hell was trying to bring balance to the male-to-female nudity ratio that was offset by HBO’s Game of Thrones.
In the end, 7 Days in Hell mostly works thanks to Samberg and Harington’s performances along with a slew of actor cameos that make for a memorable moments. If you’re looking for a quick laugh over the weekend and don’t mind copious amounts of nudity, then look no further than 7 Days in Hell. Indubitably.
Fans of Fireflymay still be advocating for a return trip to the ‘verse, but Con Man looks to be the answer to the spaceship-sized hole in our hearts. Created by and starring in the show are Firefly alums, Alan Tudyk and Nathan Fillion, who are essentially playing themselves but instead of Firefly, their beloved cancelled-too-soon show is called SPECTRUM.
Funded at over 700% of their original Indiegogo campaign, Nathan Fillion and Alan Tudyk have accepted the immense fan support and run with it. The show doesn’t feel like a crowdfunded venture. It comes across as very polished with high production value, full of all the humor you would expect from this duo.
Con Man boasts an impressive cast with cameos from Felicia Day, Wil Wheaton, Gina Torres, Tricia Helfer, Sean Maher, and pretty much any other actor who has ever starred in a sci-fi TV show. Set to release this September, Con Man will air exclusively on Vimeo.
AMC’s The Walking Dead announced at Comic Con a premiere date of October 11th for its sixth season and along with a lengthy and exhilarating trailer.
There was speculation that Rick and Morgan might come to blows this season and this trailer confirms it. Along with this struggle comes more walker invasions and some innocent people who are sure to meet death in gruesome fashion.
To get fans pumped up for the sixth season, beginning July 26th, AMC is running a single-season marathon every Sunday leading up the show’s premiere. Furthermore, Chris Hardwick’s “Talking Dead” will offer fans an early look at the show on August 23rd at 8PM EST/PST. The “Talking Dead Season 6 Preview Special” will grant viewers a behind-the-scenes look at the show, as well as interviews with the cast and crew.
There was plenty of news for fans of DoctorWho fans coming out of San Diego Comic-Con as BBC’s iconic series took Hall H by storm.
For starters BBC announced that Doctor Who will return to television sets on September 19, 2015. But that wasn’t all! They also released the first trailer for Season 9 was made available on the internet shortly after it debuted at SDCC.
During the panel showrunner Steven Moffat teased a bit about what fans could expect from the return of Missy (aka The Master) who was assumed to have been killed at the end of last season. “The way Missy comes back into the Doctor’s life is not something you’d predict. It’s very, very different.”
Season 9 will also feature Game of Thrones‘ Maisie Williams (Arya Stark) in a mysterious recurring guest role.
Doctor Who returns September 19, 2015 on BBC America.
Coming out of San Diego Comic Con, Warner Bros has announced that Doctor Who will be joining Lego Dimensions. He is jumping in to a star filled cast that already includes Back to the Future, Lord of the Rings, The Simpsons, and many more! The game will feature the voices from the current cast of Doctor Who, which includes Peter Capaldi, Jenna Coleman and Michelle Gomez.
Not a fan of the 12th Doctor? That’s okay, the game will feature the likeness of every past Doctor from the popular series. However, all voice acting will be handled by Peter Capaldi.
WB has thrown in some great easter eggs for Who fans as well. If you die while playing as the 12th Doctor, you will appear as the first Doctor and slowly regenerate your way back. Also, depending on which Doctor you choose, the theme music will change and the TARDIS will adjust to feature the design for that Doctor. The little details like this leave me very impressive!
Doctor Who will have his own level in the Lego Dimensions Starter Pack, but if you desire more Who content, you will be able to purchase the Doctor Who Level Pack. In addition to a new level, this pack will also include a minifigure of Peter Capaldi’s Doctor, and Lego models of the TARDIS and the Doctors faithful robot companion K-9. I think a Lego version of the TARDIS alone is worth the price of admission!
So will you be joining the Doctor on this Universe Colliding adventure? Or do you feel the “Toys to Life” games are past their prime? Let us know in the comments below!
By Danielle Stolman (w/ Matt Perri & Tania Pereira)
When we last left the Divas, THEBELLABRAND were on the verge of splitting up (*GASP*!)…so, now, we’re gonna watch how that doesn’t happen. Eva Marie had Fake Boob Repair and was undergoing rehab stints. Brie wants to get preggers…will the Divas survive? Can Eva make a comeback? Can we just see Charlotte already?! Let’s find out on the first episode of season 4 of TOTAL DIVAS!!!
And, as always, Matt (fresh off of Tough Enough) will join me with “witty” comments that you can all say sucked! 😀
We begin with a title card that reads, “A LION DOES NOT WORRY HERSELF WITH THE OPINION OF SHEEP.”
DES MOINES, IA
Django (Restaurant) Paige opens an SUV to let Naomi out of the backseat. They go into the restaurant and are excited to see Alicia Fox is there. Alicia runs to Paige and jumps into her arms, wrapping her legs around her like long lost lovers reuniting. Nattie shows up and Alicia is baffled by the new pink in her hair. (MATT: Because it’s…different from the last time she had pink in her hair?) Paige is happy the Bella Twins may be leaving. Alicia, showing the addictive personality that almost cost her the WWE career and put her in rehab, tells the camera she can’t wait to start stirring shit up. The girls discuss how they’ve all had moments where they wanted to quit. Paige says with the Bellas gone, that gives the girls some empty spots that they can advance to.
Suddenly, the Bellas appear to join them for lunch and stir stuff up for real.
(MATT: Nikki’s boobs arrived a few seconds before she did.)
Nikki has a Louis Vitton purse that we all know John Cena bought her. Alicia says she’s thinking of changing her gimmick to Halle Berry’s Storm from X-Men. (MATT: Mark Carrano’s already cracking his knuckles and gritting his teeth.) Nattie wants to embrace change and a whole new look as well, she says she will be TJ and Cesaro’s little vixen. (MATT: Does TJ know Nattie wants to be the meat in a tag team sammitch?) Paige likes this and suggests a whip as a prop. Nikki gets pissy because nobody’s talking about the Bellas anymore.
Nikki and Brie leave the restaurant and talk. Nikki pouts and says she won’t miss having girl brunches anymore. Brie rolls her eyes as Nikki continues to whine about the girls attempting to take her spot.
MONDAY NIGHT RAW
Backstage Nattie takes a selfie with fans.
Ringside Nikki (current WWE Divas Champion) and Brie fight Paige and AJ Lee. Brie wins the match with the Rack Attack. Nikki tells the camera she worked hard for 8 years to get where she’s at to foreshadow that she’s not really leaving any time soon. She says that “so much” goes into the ring with you. You have to know psychology and timing and connect with the audience.
(MATT: Pictured – The reason Nikki “connects with the audience”)
KANSAS CITY, MO for WWE SMACKDOWN
Backstage Brie is clipping Daniel Bryan’s beard. He complains no one will help him with that if she leaves. Meanwhile, Nikki and Nattie discuss how Nikki outdoes everyone else with the brand-name luggage. Nattie compliments Nikki on her match last night, saying she hopes they can learn to wrestle like that because they want the Divas Championship. (MATT: Ah, Nikki wrote this portion of the show…) Nikki says she is worried she will be “mugged like Nancy Kerrigan” in the hallways. (MATT: It’ll end up being a Work.)
Nattie stops to talk with Emma and Summer and fake-punches Summer in the cutest way. (MATT: Ha, ha! I hate you, Summer. Wanna go for a manicure after this?) Nattie takes a Selfie with Summer and Emma and doesn’t want to do a re-shoot because “Summer looks bad in the photo”. (MATT: What is with all the personal time and the Selfies? Is she gonna hang herself after the show?)
The Office of Mark Carrano, VP of Talent Relations Nattie goes to talk to Mark and wants to know the truth about the Bella’s departure. He tells her not to believe in speculation. She says she wants to do a new character: a “crazy dominatrix cat lady”. (MATT: Well, she’s definitely already got the “crazy cat lady” part down.) Mark says it would be hard to be a dominatrix in the “PG era”. (MATT: Except when they’re showcasing Nikki’s tits.) He tells her that Eva’s currently training in California — and Nikki’s brain hits a record scratch. He tells her they are planning on pushing Eva Marie due to her look and “unique ability of acting”. (MATT: We are talking about Eva Marie, right? The wrestler?) Nattie is confused as she was told Eva Marie said she was in the Performance Center in Florida. Carrano goes Pure Mafia and tells her “she heard wrong”, then tells her to “forget about it” and looks smug.
(MATT: WWE’s Mark Carrano – now with BALLS)
LOS ANGELES, CA
Training Gym Brian Kendrik is training Eva Marie hard. She’s in the ring taking practice falls, slamming herself on her back. (TANIA: That’s a regular weeknight for her. HI-YOOO! Oh, god, it’s so good to be back doing the recap with you guys…) Eva says that Brian’s a former champion and “awesome at what he does”. (MATT: So great, WWE fired him and then brought him back as a trainer.) She’s been training and eating right since her surgery and she’s even on track with her “husbandger” working to support her. Brian makes her do more moves and she complains that it’s so difficult. He reminds her that they will train for hours each day for weeks.
KANSAS CITY, MO
Backstage Paige and Naomi are so bored, they’re drawing fake tattoos on each other with Sharpies. (TANIA: Still a better idea than Nattie’s “Cat Lady Dominatrix”.) The Bellas come by and giggle at how “funny” this is. Nattie interrupts and tells them all that Eva Marie has her own private coach in LA. and that she’s not in Florida. Brie is upset as Eva has told her she was going to NXT. (MATT: Am I the only one who doesn’t find this to be a legit plot point?) The girls are upset that none of them got private coaches in their career. Brie tells the camera that NXT is a state-of-the-art training center and she wished she could have trained there. Instead, she trained at a batting cages and “canned food buildings”. (MATT: Oh, the humanity.)
Nikki claims each wrestler wishes they could be in their own bed each night and that training 8 hours a day with one coach isn’t how you reach the top it’s being on the road and actually taking part in competition. She says she gave up her personal life to the business. (TANIA: But dates John Cena…so that makes up for it.)
Paige tells the camera that she put 10 years into getting where she is and that getting to train at home is too easy. She says that Eva Marie has a silver spoon and the easiest Diva career she has ever witnessed. (MATT: …explains two-time Divas Champion, Paige.)
Backstage Carrano visits the Bella Twins and they want to know where Eva really is. Nikki says that Eva will user in an awful era of the Divas Division where the fans will take “snack breaks” during their matches. (MATT: They don’t do that already?) He admits she’s training in California as she needs dedicated round-the-clock training. Nikki asks if he wants Eva to take her spot. Carrano says that nobody could take Nikki’s spot. (TANIA: Is John Cena sitting in a room with Carrano’s family at gunpoint? What is with this shit?)
(MATT: “I did what you asked, John…just let them go…”)
Nikki says that she came to “make history” at WWE so it’s not about the money for her. (TANIA: She gets that from John Cena, so she’s covered there.) Nikki says Eva could be training in NXT. Mark says they need her to be in California for other offers he can’t get into. Nikki says that she and Brie were offered new contracts but her and Brie declined. Nikki regrets this. Brie watches as Luke Harper suplexes Daniel Bryan on his head. Brie nearly has a heart attack. Nikki doesn’t seem to care much. Brie calls her a bitch.
LOS ANGELES, CA
Eva Marie and Jonathan’s apartment Eva Marie shows the camera bruises she got from training. Jon says he’s a great coach for her as he’s confident in her abilities and she should continue with him. He tells her to stop getting bruises because they will get the police to investigate him if she won’t. (MATT: Man, No Pants Provided must be–nah…too easy.) Eva replies they will have to invest in a lot more ice then.
SANTA CLARA, CA
Pierre Silber, LLC Nattie, Jon and Trinity are going to a sex shop because they all need a story this week. Turns out they are there for the dominatrix character Mark already shot down. They try out whips, various masks, and a chair for torture (I think). Nattie puts on a big “cat” mask and says she feels claustrophobic. (TANIA: This is one of those “Russo Swerves”, right, Matt…? RIGHT???) Nattie picks up a butt plug with a fox tail on it and, after examining it, she says it would be a great toy for her cat. (TANIA: No submissive would ever take her seriously. Ever.) The shop clerk tells her what it is and Naomi can’t even grasp the concept. (TANIA: This is so weird! Last season, Nattie didn’t think lesbians were “appropriate” and, now, she wants to be a dominatrix! I guess it only matters if your ass is on the line.)
PHOENIX, AZ
Fattoria Italiana North (restaurant) Nikki is having dinner with her mom, Kathy. Kathy cautions her to be careful about throwing away her WWE career for this new hosting opportunity. Being a numbers person, she wants to know if her next venture is a guarantee.
TAMPA, FL
Nattie and TJ’s apartment All is well in the house of cats when Adina, a hearing-impaired dominatrix comes to the door to meet with Nattie. (MATT & TANIA: What. The. Fuck.) Adina looks like Nattie without the pink in her hair. She tries to teach Nattie about “dominating TJ” to which TJ responds, “I think I’d call the police”. She suggests they use cat as their safe word. TJ: “I would have used ‘CAT’ 20 minutes ago if that were the case.”She guides Nattie through “dominating” TJ and even commands him to get on his knees to get whipped — with a cat toy. (TANIA: I didn’t ask to see any of this.) TJ puts up with it for about 2 minutes and then walks out and gets into his car to leave. Nattie chases him to the garage, begging him not to leave. But TJ drives off in a huff as the dominatrix is left in a lurch. (MATT: And every one of Adina’s clients fires her the next day…)
Nattie calls TJ on his cell. He answers, pissed off, and says that he’s a tag team champion not a purring cat. They hang up. So, the “research” goes on with Adina spanking Nattie with a whip a few times — when her Mom just abruptly enters the house.
(TANIA: “M-O-M outta NOWHERE!!!”)
Her mom asks what Nattie’s doing with the same tone as how one asks how her job is going. Nattie: “We’re just doing dominatrix stuff.” (TANIA: Oh, hey, Mom. Just gettin’ spanked. How’s Dad?) Nattie’s mom seems incredibly cool with it all. She even lets Adina tie her with tape.
(MATT: “I think it’s time to re-negotiate my WWE contract…”)
(TANIA: Hundreds of dominatrixes in the Florida area and this is the one Nattie chose? I hope she hid all her valuable jewelry.) All of the sudden. Nattie has a change of heart and thinks maybe she will not do this gimmick after all.
Restaurant The Bellas, Paige, Jon, Trinity and Alicia are having dinner with TJ and Nattie. Nattie talks all about the dominatrix. Nikki encourages Nattie that she can have a dominatrix ring personality even if it doesn’t fit her. (MATT: “It’s not right at all, but do it anyway”: WWE Creative’s motto.) Nattie looks up Eva Marie’s Instagram and says Eva posted a quote, saying “a lion not worry herself with the opinion of sheep”. (TANIA: Matt’s motto for dealing with online criticism.) (MATT: That’s ri–HEY!!!) Paige is pissed about it and says that Eva cares more about her hair than wrestling. The entire table spends the next couple of minutes pretending Eva’s never wrestled before. Alicia gets upset because Trinity thinks that “talking shit” isn’t gonna solve the issue. Alicia doesn’t see it that way and calls it “comparing notes”.
LOS ANGELES, CA
Santino Brothers Wrestling Academy Eva tells her trainer that she is sore from her last workout. She learns how to perform a leap frog while her husband is there to encourage her from the side. Eva stops as she has a problem with this move. — she just can’t do it. He tells her that she has been doing great up until today and instructs her to take a walk and think if she wants to do this. Eva goes outside to talk to her husband about it. She is frustrated that she hasn’t picked up more even though it’s been 6 days. (MATT: I’m not sure she could pick up anything in six months.) She has heard talk that the girls are mad that she has the extra training and it’s getting in her head. Jon convinces her to go back in and give it another try. Predictably, she learns the leapfrog maneuver in record time. (TANIA: This is so touching. Like the Karate Kid.) Her goal she tells the camera is to put in a lot of hard work and be the best WWE Diva ever
The Honda Center in ANAHEIM, CA for a WWE Live Event
Backstage Nikki takes Brie aside to talk in private. (MATT: As Fandango looks on.) She thinks Brie should wait three years to have a baby. Brie is skeptical as they already told everyone they were going to walk away. She says they should take the opportunity as they can be the female version of what Cena is. Nikki says she isn’t trying to convince Brie, she’s just telling her it’s the right thing to do. Brie questions why it’s “the right thing” and points out that she’s only worried because her ego is being put to the test.
The Stalples Center in LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA for WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW
Backstage Lilian Garcia comes to get Brie to talk. She claims that Eva Marie is saying that the girls are ganging up on her. Brie tells the camera that Eva can “fuck off”. Brie says they’re upset and wary of the situation because Eva has two different stories. Brie says that WWE isn’t the road to fame or Hollywood. (MATT: “Stay tuned after “Total Divas” for a sneak peek at John Cena in Judd Apatow’s new comedy, “Trainwreck”!) Lillian says she was “played” by Eva.
Nattie has her version of a sexy outfit with spikes on her jacket that reveals a sparkly bra. She shows it to Jon who totally gawks at her. Nattie claims that “this is who she’s always been”. (TANIA: Didn’t Nattie spend all of last season whining about how “inappropriate” the girls’ gimmicks were?)
Brie comes to talk to Eva Marie about what is going on. She’s upset that Lillian pulled her aside to talk about this and tells Eva it’s getting out of hand. Eva sits there and takes Brie’s abuse and then says it’s time confront the locker room to give them the full story.
Ringside Nikki tells the camera that she’s so excited as it’s the last RAW before Wrestlemania (when Paige faces Nikki for the Divas Championship). Nikki says the fans have gone from wanting to get a snack for a Divas match to being on the edge of their seats for it. (MATT: It’s official. Nikki’s in another dimension.) They even edit in “excited crowd” shots in between the girls working in the ring. Oh — and this was “Nikki’s best match”.
Backstage The Divas kiss Nikki’s ass for the match. Nikki tells Nattie, Paige and Alicia she wants to stay even if Brie has baby fever. Brie is happy for her but she doesn’t want to stay. Nikki calls Eva a “bitch” and says that she’s gonna face the Divas’ wrath.
Eva talks to Cameron who warns her that she’s walking into the lion’s den if she goes to talk to the other Divas. They intersperse the Wyatt theme with Eva walking in for a cool montage. The girls demand to know what’s going on. Brie says that everyone’s uneasy about Eva, adding, “Like…LEGIT.” (MATT: She’s added that to every argument this episode. She needs to stop.) Paige says the vague Instagram posts are not helpful. Eva says she’s all about empowering women. Paige says the lion and sheep quote is not empowering. (TANIA: Technically, it is. They just don’t agree with it.) The girls say they have given their lives to wrestling and she has not. Brie says she is bringing the division down because “she sucks at wrestling.” Yet, if that’s the case shouldn’t they want her to improve regardless if it’s at NXT or with a private trainer?
Anyhow…there’s lots to look forward to this year if the season preview is any indication:
Daniel Bryan and Tyson’s injuries are covered
Paige gets a marriage proposal — but her sex tape complicates things
Nattie goes to a strip club
Dolph Ziggler hits on Nikki
Eva wants her name on top of the Divas Division — but the Bellas aren’t gonna let her take it
And, now…the Hugs & Punches…
HUGS
Danielle Eva Marie for busting her ass to be a better wrestler. Actually makes me want to see her in the ring in the future. (And a bonus hug to Nattie’s Mom for being tied up with duct tape and not losing her shit.)
Matt Eva Marie. She actually looks serious about her comeback. Her story and the backstage politics actually made for an interesting episode.
Tania TJ because holy shit, Nattie. The arbitrary “I wanna be a dominatrix” bullshit aside, why did TJ (and, for that matter, Nattie’s Mom) need to be subjected to any of what we saw?
PUNCHES
Danielle Nikki. In every way possible. From her selfish rich-bitch behavior to her treatment of Marie to trying to keep Brie with her because of her own ego…I just have no sympathy for her.
Matt Both Bellas. Week after week. Nikki more than Brie. Nobody ever calls out the Bellas on this show for anything — including the fact that Nikki would be nothing if she wasn’t fucking Cena.
Tania The entire Divas Division — including Lillian Garcia. Seriously, Garcia. Why were you on this show? The entire thing was a bunch of women clucking behind somebody’s back. It was all sorts of ugly.
Hot on the heels of launching its stand-alone streaming service, SHOWTIME is giving viewers a first look at the upcoming fifth season of the Emmy® and Golden Globe®-winning drama series HOMELAND.
Premiering this fall, the series will pick up two years after Carrie Mathison’s (Emmy®, Screen Actors Guild® and Golden Globe® Award winner Claire Danes) ill-fated tenure as Islamabad station chief. Struggling to reconcile her guilt and disillusionment with years of working on the front lines in the “war on terror,” Carrie finds herself in a self-imposed exile in Berlin, estranged from the CIA and working as the head of security for a German philanthropist.
HOMELAND is currently in production in Berlin, and is the first American TV series to shoot entirely in Germany. Season five also stars Emmy nominee Rupert Friend, Oscar® winner F. Murray Abraham, Sebastian Koch, Screen Actors Guild winner Miranda Otto, Alexander Fehling, Sarah Sokolovic, and Emmy and Tony® winner Mandy Patinkin.
Like most teasers, Homeland’s first for season five doesn’t offer us much to go on except that Saul and Carrie have an argument, which isn’t really new for them, but Saul says what most people have been thinking about Carrie, “You’re being naive and stupid.” Now with Carrie out of the CIA, there’s a lot more story available, but I really hope they let that whole Carrie/Quinn relationship fall to the wayside.
The Homeland first look will debut on Sunday July 12th, during the premieres of Ray Donovan and Masters of Sex.
FOX’s Grease: Live musicalhas found their Danny Zuko in Broadway sensation Aaron Tveit.
“I’m thrilled and honored to be joining this incredibly talented team of actors in reimagining this classic and beloved musical,” said Tveit in the press release. “Playing ‘Danny Zuko’ is a dream role and I can’t wait to be a part of all the fun that comes along with performing live on television.”
Tveit currently stars in USA’s cable series Graceland as FBI rookie Mike Warren. His television background is expansive as he had a recurring role on Gossip Girl and guest-starred on The Good Wife, Ugly Betty and Law And Order: Special Victims Unit. His film background includes playing Enjolras in the 2012 film adaption of Les Miserables.
The Graceland star will be joined by Carlos PenaVega who will play Kenickie, Zuko’s tough-guy sidekick. Tveit and PenaVega join Julianne Hough as the angelic Sandy, Vanessa Hudgens as bad girl Rizzo and Keke Palmer as Marty.
Grease: Live will air on Sunday, January 31, 2016 on FOX.
GREASE: LIVE is executive-produced by Marc Platt (“Wicked,” “Into the Woods”). Thomas Kail (“Hamilton,” “In the Heights”) is the director overseeing the stage direction and Alex Rudzinski (“Dancing with the Stars”) will serve as the live television director. Broadway writers Robert Cary (“Anything but Love,” “Ira & Abby”) and Jonathan Tolins (“Buyer & Cellar,” “The Last Sunday in June”) will write the LIVE television adaptation. GREASE: LIVE is based on the original musical “Grease” by Jim Jacobs and Warren Casey, and Paramount Pictures’ 1978 feature adaptation. It is a Paramount Television production.
The Behemoth, creator of the fantastic 2D games Alien Hominid, Castle Crashers, and Battleblock Theater, have officially revealed the title for their next game through the sites blog. Finally losing the placeholder title of Game 4, it will now be called Pit People.
While Pit People may sound generic and uninspired, The Behemoth explains their decision for the new moniker:
“The Pit is the place where our story’s heroes get a fresh start in life! It’s basically what you and I know more commonly as an arena. As you may remember from our announcement trailer, the story starts off right as the giant bear from space shattered the planet…”
As for the story and main characters of the game, The Behemoth does dish out a few details:
“Through the chaos, Horatio, Pipistrella, Yosef, Sofia, and Gluten have found each other. They’ve formed a team to conquer each untimely obstacle.”
From the Pit People website:
Master the destiny of a full cast of tragically unique heroes as you plot a course across an apocalyptic wonderland!
Dogged at every step by a mysterious and power-hungry narrator (Will Stamper, “BattleBlock Theater“), you’ll need to rally your troops and steel your wits if you hope to survive a hostile world filled with sinister robots, deadly vampires and brutally adorable cupcake people!
In our fast-paced, turn-based, co-op adventure you’ll quest and explore, find awesome loot, customize your fighters, and recruit strange species!
Pit People will feature single player, 2 player co-op, and up to 4 players for 2v2 play. While no release date is set, Pit People will release on Xbox One and Steam. Those attending San Diego Comic-Con this week will be able to get early hands-on with the game at the Behemoth booth via 12 playable arcade cabinets.
In addition to the new title announcement, comes a brand new website: pitpeople.com.
Is this a game that you are looking forward to? Let us know in the comment section below!
San Diego Comic-Con is host to some of the most sought-after collectibles that appear in geekdom. Among the most popular items are Funko’s POP! figurines based off of hit television shows, movies, games, and comic book characters. Every year Funko brings out limited edition variants that are only available on the convention’s show floor.
Just how popular are these figurines? Within an hour of the show floor opening on Wednesday night, convention goers were reporting that Funko closed the line to their booth almost immediately for the rest of the day. To get a clue how packed the line becomes, The Hollywood Reporter’s Lesley Goldberg tweeted a picture of a portion of the line.
News broke a few weeks ago that talk show host Conan O’Brien would be giving away four exclusive Conan POP! figures, one for each day of his week-long Comic-Con show. These figures would not be available anywhere else. Attendees lucky enough to attend Conan’s show would receive the designated POP! figure for the day.
The figurines:
Day 1 – Talk Show Host Conan O’Brien
Day 2 – Batman Conan
Day 3 – Zombie Conan
Day 4 – Conan’s Monster
It shouldn’t be surprising to anyone that Funko’s Conan POP! vinyls have already made their way onto eBay and are selling for a fortune.
At a quick glance, the figures are going for $200+, with many sporting eBay’s “Buy It Now” option.
One lucky attendee happened to win all four figurines early in what they call a “Special Conan Bingo Event in Downtown San Diego.” Three of those four figurines even came signed.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise that the winner quickly posted the lot of four Conan figurines on eBay, which just happened to sell for $1,400. That’s right, $1,400.
As a collector of exclusive POP! figurines, I think I’m going to have to close my wallet and pray for my very own Fairy Conan Godmother to deliver me a batch of my own.
UPDATE 1: The Day 2 Pop Figures (Batman) have hit eBay and they look to be retailing around the same price as Day 1.
The Fosters
Season 3, Episode 5 – “Going South”
Air Date – Monday, July 6, 2015
On this week’s episode of The Fosters, “Going South,” Lena and Stef are in for a no good, very bad Saturday.
Lena, Stef and Mariana
Stef and Lena’s Saturday begins before the sun has a chance to rise with a contractor knocking on their door. Stef hired a contractor to fix their bathroom without telling Lena which turns out to be a big deal because Lena wanted to get at least 15 more quotes before hiring one. A furious Lena storms upstairs while Stef is delegated to clean the backyard which has been ransacked by the friendly neighborhood racoon. While picking up the trash, Stef finds an empty pregnancy test box. She bolts upstairs to show Lena her discovery, but before she can finish a sentence, Lena blurts “we need to go to therapy.” I actually agree with Lena here. These two need to actually communicate. I don’t even think that the two are on the same page about what they are arguing about, so nothing is getting resolved. Stef deals with issues by taking action first and processing later while Lena needs the discussion before the action. When Stef tries to express her frustration about Lena’s process of choosing a contractor, Lena interprets it as an accusation. It is at the point that no matter what one party says, the other will take offense. So, yes, I think therapy couldn’t hurt. They bench this argument for the time being though, so they can address the more pressing issue… a potentially pregnant daughter.
Lena is first at bat. Since Mariana is alone in her room, Lena takes this opportunity to ask her daughter how her romantic life is going. Mariana reveals that she broke up with Matt so that he can live the rocker lifestyle and bang a bunch of groupies, leaving out the part about her sleeping with Wyatt.
Lena and Stef move on to the next possible pregnancy suspect, Callie. Mariana told them that Callie was in the library, but then why is her phone off? No one actually turns their phone off in the library so where could she possible be?!? Stef calls for Mariana and she finally spills the beans. Callie is in Mexico with Brandon. This information does very little to calm Stef down. Instead it leads her to believe that Callie is pregnant with Brandon’s child and the two went to Mexico for an abortion. Little does Stef know that Callie is only in lust for one of her foster brothers, and his name is not Brandon. Just as Lena and Stef begin to spiral into a full anxiety wormhole, Mariana comes down to confess. She admits that no, the pregnancy test was not Callie’s, she did not sleep with Matt, but she did sleep with Wyatt, and yes the pee stick box is hers.
Mariana faces a well deserved inquisition about losing her virginity to her sister’s ex-boyfriend on a public beach and storms off yelling: “Well no one’s pregnant, can’t you just be happy about that?” Mariana, you need to raise your standards of what should constitute happiness. Lena feels that Stef was too hard on Mariana. When the couple goes to console their daughter, Lena utters maybe my favorite line a mom has said to her daughter on TV: “We just want you to love yourself as much as we love you.”
Before leaving for the day the contractor pulls Stef aside to renegotiate their payment plan. He tells her that from his experience, couples that split up tend to not pay him. You know that there is something wrong with your marriage when the plumber can sense trouble in your marriage. Stef is shaken up by this encounter, and concedes to the idea of attending therapy, because being stubborn is not worth losing her wife.
Callie and Brandon
Meanwhile at the asscrack of dawn Callie wakes Brandon up for an impromptu road trip to Mexico to go hang gliding. You know a normal Saturday. The pair arrive at a sketchy hang gliding facility, and go through an intensive training, teaching them all of the required safety protocols. Just kidding, all they do is strap those bad boys on and, for approximately two seconds, practice moving left and right while holding onto a picnic table. They are now 100 percent prepared to jump off that cliff. As if this scenario could not get sketchier, the Mexican police raid the completely legal hang gliding operation. Brandon and Callie decide to jump of the cliff to evade the cops, but as soon as they land, the cops are waiting for them. Since Callie did not think to bring any cash with her for this road trip, Brandon is forced to hand his keyboard to the cops so the two do not end up in a Mexican jail.
While approaching Border Patrol, these two geniuses realize that they need a passport to get back into the country. Oh. My. God! OF COURSE you need a passport to cross the Mexican/USA border! How do you neither of you know this? I am dumbfounded at their stupidity. Brandon blames Callie for the whole mess, and even says life was easier before she entered his life. Callie has had enough of Brandon’s self-pity, the world is against me crap, and calls him out on all of it. She tells him the world doesn’t revolve around him, and that everything from having a restraining order taken out against him to getting caught selling fake IDs is due to his poor decisions and no one elses. Thank you Callie for finally telling Brandon what many viewers have wanted to say since the show aired. Brandon and Callie get back into the Mini Cooper and because they are white and middle class are able to cross the border without a passport by playing stupid.
Mike and AJ
Mike and AJ head to the nursing home to visit AJ’s ailing grandmother, his only real family besides his brother. After leaving the nursing home, Mike gets a call on his radio and brings AJ on a ride-along to a crime scene, and tells AJ to stay in the car. As has been proved by every episode of Chuck, whenever a character is told to stay in the car, they never do. When AJ gets out of the car to see what is going on inside, a police officer tackles him to the ground screaming at him to put his head down. AJ tries to explain that he is with Mike, but the cop is convinced he is the attacker’s accomplice. Not until Mike comes outside does this douchebag cop release AJ, and Mike forces his colleague to apologize to AJ. When they get back to Mike’s apartment for dinner, Mike makes sure that AJ knows that he is in this for the long haul, and that he will always be on AJ’s side, in a manner that was very similar to Good Will Hunting’s “It’s not your fault” scene.
The episode ends with a adorable AJ and Callie scene that makes me love AJ so much. I am so impressed in the way the writers of The Foster’s have humanized AJ. In the beginning of the season, I did not like him at all. When he interacts with Callie, he shows her a softer side. He jokes with her, and expresses his feeling towards her. Callie has ten times more chemistry with AJ then she had with either Wyatt or Brandon.
Have you finished Batman: Arkham Knight? Have you scoured the city of Gotham, searching every nook and cranny until you’ve reached the long sought after 100% completion? If so, it’s time to grab your cowl and boots, and soar back into Gotham with new DLC coming July 21 (July 14 for Season Pass holders)!
WB Games Montreal has released a fresh trailer for Batgirl: A Matter of Family, which you can see above. In this new DLC, you get to experience the game as Batgirl, a first for the series. The official plot synopsis for the game give us the details on what you have to look forward to in this new adventure:
“When The Joker kidnaps Commissioner Gordon and holds him hostage at the Seagate Amusement Park, Batgirl and Robin must fight against the odds to save him and avoid falling victim to The Joker’s sinister plan. Trained by Batman, Batgirl’s combat combines with unparalleled hacking abilities to take down enemies, control objects and solve puzzles.”
While I am definitely looking forward to this new DLC, I have my doubts. This DLC was not handled by Rocksteady, but instead created by WB Games Montreal. This is the same team that brought us the weakest game in the Arkham series, Arkham Origins.
Batgirl: A Matter of Family will be coming to Xbox One and Playstation 4 on July 21. There is no scheduled release for PC as Rocksteady continues to deal with technical issues.
Are you excited to dive back in to Arkham Knight, or will you be sitting this one out? Let us know in the comments down below!
Prepare to see all those creepy creatures and terrifying monsters from R.L. Stine’s imagination come to life in the new Goosebumps trailer. Jack Black plays the reclusive children’s book author who’s fictitious creations enter the real world after teen neighbor Zach (Dylan Minnette) and his friend enter Stine’s home to help his daughter.
Watch the trailer now:
The film also stars Odeya Rush, Amy Ryan, Halston Sage, Ryan Lee, and Ken Marino. Goosebumps will hit theaters on October 16.
Here’s a look at Black against the real R.L. Stine.
Aside form Goosebumps, Stine has also written numerous other YA and childrens series including Fear Street, Mostly Ghostly, Rotten School, and The Nightmare Room.
Who was your favorite Stine monster? Mine – Slappy the Dummy (from Night of the Living Dummy).
At launch, Bethesda games are never smooth sailing. Their past games have been plagued with frame rate issues, game crashes, and in some extreme cases, the loss and corruption of save files. I know that for me personally, I stopped playing Skyrim on Playstation 3 due to the many issues I ran into with the game. Once the patch arrived (much, much later) I had moved on to my next gaming experience, never looking back.
However, all is not lost (unlike my old save files). According to game director Todd Howard, in a recent interview with Game Informer magazine, things are going to change. They have learned a great deal from the issues with Skyrim, as he explains:
“I think we’ve gotten way better there. For us, [the player’s] saved game is the number one thing. If the game crashes that’s bad, but it is nowhere near as bad as someone’s saved game being hosed. That’s our scenario that we will do anything and everything to avoid. We made a lot of progress given how Skyrim went, but we did it during Skyrim. This just builds on that.”
When it comes to the rest of the game, bugs are still expected. With the size of the world, amount of in-game content, and different player scenarios, some things are bound to fall through the cracks. This time, however, Todd feels optimistic about catching and eliminating the bugs much more quickly after they are discovered.
“All of the updates we did on Skyrim, and all of the DLC – once we sorted [the bugs out] we had a different process for how we checked the content out,” he says. “There will always be some problems.”
Here’s hoping that rad roaches are the only bugs attacking you as you hit the Wasteland in Fallout 4 this November! Do you think Bethesda has it under control? Or will we see the same issues in the past? Let us know in the comments down below!
The animated series from creatives Trey Parker and Matt Stone has received a three season renewal, pushing the final total to 23 seasons and securing South Park through 2019. The series, which wrapped its 18th season back in December, was renewed through season 20 back in 2011. By the end of 2019, the series will have aired 304 episodes.
In a separate deal, Hulu extended its exclusive deal with South Park Digital Studios to house the additional seasons of South Park. The current library, containing 254 episodes spread across 18 seasons, will remain exclusive to Hulu.
“Nearly two decades later, South Park today remains as important and influential as any series on any platform and has become one of the most recognizable brands to ever come out of television,” said Doug Herzog, President, Viacom Music & Entertainment Group. “Through South Park Digital Studios we will continue to aggressively expand the reach of the South Park brand by pursuing additional extensions and licensing opportunities worldwide.”
Said Parker and Stone: “We love working for Doug and with everyone at Comedy Central. They’ve given us an insane level of artistic and creative freedom for almost 20 years. They walk the walk.”
South Park will return for its 19th Season on Wednesday, September 16, 2015.
Last time out, Alex was given the axe for having no knowledge of anything wrestling-related. Not even the time Hogan slammed Andre at WrestleMania III, brother. Meanwhile, WWE mercilessly teased its audience with blood and guts violence by practically feeding its cast to a bunch of lazy alligators in the middle of a Florida swamp. Who will be eliminated tonight? Will Chris Jericho care about being on the show? WILL WE GET TO SEE MORE OF PAIGE’S NEW “ASSETS”??? Let’s find out…on TOUGH ENOUGH!
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena Renee and Jericho are the hosts. They talk about how much their clothing matches. (DANIELLE: Jericho’s wearing a shirt and tie and Renee’s wearing a Rorshach Test. Rock on.) They introduce Hogan, Bryan and Paige.
We go over the rules…and it’s on to…
WWE PERFORMANCE CENTER
The Barracks Patrick is ready to go this week — and he’s got his sights on Tanner. Sara Lee says she’s ready to show some “personality”. So, Sara Lee suddenly has a tight black dress, stylish hair, make-up and nose ring. Tanner: “I’d marry you.” (DANIELLE: OOOOO! SCHMOOOOVE overdrive…) Dianna’s pissed that everyone’s gunning for her. So she’s had it — and she’s leaving. Ok, then. She has her husband pick her up at 2 AM.
The next day…
Billy Gunn wakes everyone up with a siren. They all go jogging. Gunn taunts Sara for “not standing out.” He gathers them around and tells them that two contestants are gone and one just quit. All the girls act shocked — and then start talking shit. Amanda says that she’s the “last blonde standing”. (DANIELLE: “Blonde”? You’re boxing that shit, honey. You’re about a real blonde as I am a real red.)
They enter a big room and it’s a prop house full of costumes and props. Also, Seth Rollins is here with his title belt. (DANIELLE: Ambrose is probably the next guest wrestler — and they’ll reveal that they didn’t invite him. He just showed up because he wanted to.) He says that they all need a character the WWE Universe can invest in. They need to find that character if they want to move on. Gunn holds up two top hats. In these hats are cards. Each card has a character. They have to blindly pick a card out of the hat. Gunn invites Josh up to pick his. (DANIELLE: SLUTTY CHEERLEADER! MAKE HIM PICK A SLUTTY CHEERLEADER!) Josh chooses “a British Brawler” while Giorgia picks a “bitchy boss”. (DANIELLE: WWE Creative’s like, “You’ve never seen characters like these before, folks!”)
To round it out:
Amanda – Barbie doll (DANIELLE: ALL the women are fucking Barbie dolls!)
Mada – King of the Ring (DANIELLE: That’s a PPV, not a character…but, ok.)
Daria – Fallen angel (DANIELLE: A Barbie with wings.)
Tanner – Stud muffin (DANIELLE: Not vague at ALL.)
ZZ – American hero (DANIELLE: Hulk Hogan’s like “fuck this, I’m out of here, brother.”)
Sara Lee – (DANIELLE: “WASTE OF SPACE!”) Queen of Mean (DANIELLE: How’s that different from “Bitchy Boss”?!)
Patrick – (DANIELLE: “Red shirt! I got red shir–HEY!!!”) Evil intellect
Gabi – Farmer’s daughter (DANIELLE: Maybe she can seductively milk a cow…I dunno.)
Lita wants them to pick out props and costumes to make their characters come to life. They have one hour.
Sara begins picking out a bunch of crowns. Josh is having trouble defining what a “stud muffin” looks like. Seth Rollins walks around with his belt on his shoulder and starts asking the contestants what they think their characters would wear. Josh has no idea while ZZ picks out a flag cape. He approaches Amanda and calls her a Barbie Doll. He says he “sees no toughness”…then moves uncomfortably close to her and says, “I wanna hate you.” (DANIELLE: He forgot to put the word “fuck” in between “hate” and “you”, I think.) Patrick doesn’t know how to make “evil intellect” come to life. Rollins wants to know why he wants to wear hologram shorts. Rollins leaves them all because, time’s up. (DANIELLE: “Gotta go. Gotta take and send more dick pictures…”)
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena Jericho and Young report on Dianna leaving. Paige calls her a “waste of time” and says she “forgot her name already”. Bryan says she lacked passion. Hogan says he wanted to “vote her off” and makes a tasteless “Princess Dianna” joke.
WWE PERFORMANCE CENTER
Gym Everyone wants Sarah Lee to go first. She comes out looking like a low-rent Paige. Gunn, Booker and Lita are unimpressed. Sara says she’s gonna just let her attitude speak for her. Also, she carries a crown. But she doesn’t wear it. Gunn: “What are you feeling?” Sara Lee: *Giggles* “Mean!” (DANIELLE: “What are you feeling?” “Mew.” Jesus, even a cat’s tougher than that.) Sara Lee declares herself “Queen Jade who grew up in a small town”.
Josh is next and he’s “Bronson”, a “British Brawler”. He wears a tank top and slacks with shoes. (DANIELLE: He’s a brawler because he took his shirt off?! He had like 154 costumes back there. Is this the best he could do?) He declares himself “Bronson, the British Brawler” in a terrible British accent. (DANIELLE: And everything was going so well…) It amuses Gunn. Patrick doesn’t agree.
Daria is wearing a white fir coat and has a matching fur halo. She actually says she wanted to have her character “fall” on the way to the ring. (DANIELLE: Between “Bronson” and physical self-injury, WWE’s legal team must be on standby.) She does fall. It’s actually pretty cute. Booker calls it “rushed” and “doesn’t know why she disrobed”. (DANIELLE: No Diva has ever done something like that.) Patrick hates it.
Tanner is a “stud muffin”, wearing a plaid best and tight jeans with boots. He fucks up his ring rope entrance. Patrick hates it because he’s evil…EVIL!!! Tanner’s done.
Gabi is a “Farmer’s daughter, in tight jean shorts and long lace stockings with a small plaid vest. She strips on the way to the ring. Gunn pretends he doesn’t really like her stripping — but Patrick’s ready to “do some plowing”.
Patrick is an “evil intellect”. He enters the ring with John Lennon sunglasses, black leather pants…and Lita’s cute little puppy dog. Gunn likes the presentation. Mada calls him a brown-noser for using Lita’s dog.
Amanda is a Barbie Doll. She looks like Hooker Pageant Barbie. Gabi calls her fake in every single regard. ZZ says that Patrick had a dog but Amanda “brought the puppies”. Gunn’s not complaining.
Mada is an Egyptian Pharaoh/King. He does nothing and says nothing and looks like he just threw up backstage. Gunn creams his pants over this and Patrick just LOVES it!!!
Giorgia is a “bitchy boss” and comes out in a slutty pant-suit. Gunn and company also love this. Amanda says that Giorgia wasn’t anything compared to her.
ZZ is “An American Hero”. Try to keep up: American Peacock Headress, American sequin best, red boxers with white stars and an American Beanie Baby. Booker holds in laughter as he walks to the ring all stiff. He does hip thrusts inside the ring which just make it worse. His penis bulges out of his shorts and Sara Lee is enchanted, saying she “couldn’t stop looking at his package”. (DANIELLE: I bet that’s the first time ZZ’s heard that from a woman.) He’s “American Zane”. Gunn laughs and calls it ridiculous. Gunn says it’s insulting to his intelligence. ZZ argues. Gunn tells him that his mind isn’t changed. Booker asks what happens if he stands up next to Randy Orton. (DANIELLE: ZZ’s gonna reach the mid-card?)
Lita picks the guy’s winner: Patrick
The lady’s winner is: Giorgia
Patrick is “in control”. He says he controls the pace. Gunn says that, despite this, somebody WILL go home tonight.
Barracks ZZ’s depressed. He asks Tanner what an “American Hero” is? Tanner says that “it varies”. ZZ says he “takes his goofs seriously” and says he doesn’t do stupid things. He says he’s not a “goof”. He doesn’t “get mad” he “gets misunderstood”. (DANIELLE: Well…at least he’s got a possible catchphrase down.) Josh and Tanner tell ZZ that he’s making excuses. ZZ says they just don’t “get him”.
Meanwhile, Gabi and Sara Lee are totally BFF’s now, like OMG! Gabi calls Daria “Diarrhea”. They shit-talk about her. They make a pact about stuff and it’s back to the men.
Patrick and Tanner fight. They threaten each other. Tanner says he kicks ass. Patrick says that he WON the last competition. They shove and start fighting. (DANIELLE: More action than an episode of RAW!) The producers split everyone up.
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena The contestants are here. Jericho says he’s fired up now and wants to fight. We get our remaining contestants. Renee points out that Amanda and Gabi shit-talk on Twitter, so join Twitter to read it, assholes.
Daniel Bryan says that Tanner can’t fight. Tanner: “We can’t punch.” Bryan calls up Sara Lee and wants her to talk about ZZ’s package. Paige gives Giorgia a ring-name: “Hooker T. Hogan practically hits on Amanda and wants Amanda to describe ZZ’s penis. ZZ’s had about enough of it all and looks legit irritated. Jericho stops the line of thought. (DANIELLE: Wait! They haven’t asked Daria what she thinks of ZZ’s package!)
The Bottom Three are chosen:
Daniel Bryan: Daria – her entrance in the character competition sucked.
Paige: Sara Lee – She didn’t bring it during the competition — even if Sara thinks she did
Hogan: ZZ – ZZ is a character without the clothes — but he doesn’t perform well.
The Bottom Three get to do their ring entrances again.
Sara Lee goes first. She walks, then strips her coat. Then walks around some more. And walks. And walks. None of the judges are impressed.
ZZ is next. He’s asked about his package again. ZZ’s not happy. Daria: “I share a room with him.” She laughs. ZZ says he’s here to make people laugh and get saved. He says he wants to save people by making them laugh because that’s America. Paige likes his penis. Hogan’s “borderline”.
Daria comes to the ring and strips her coat. She has red underneath. Then she walks. Yay. Bryan calls this “better”. Paige says she no longer has “narcolepsy”.
Final pleas:
Daria – She has legitmacy. She can kick anyone’s ass.
ZZ – He likes making people laugh because that’s the type of guy he is. He looks at his own character through a child’s eye.
Sara Lee – She’s not the best. She isn’t giving up. She’s totally goofy. She’s so going home…
Who is going home?
Amanda thinks it’s gonna be Sara Lee. Mada agrees and everyone else falls in line.
Judges aren’t using their saves…
GOING HOME: Daria
That’s a shocker. And she’s stunned and on the verge of tears. The audience’s soul dies. ZZ, by the way, had the most votes to stay.
And we roll on to next week. A better show this week. Possibly, the best of the season so far.
…. and we’re back, kids. Last week’s episode of The Bachelorette left us off in Killaney, Ireland, which is “the perfect place to fall in love.” It’s also the perfect place to break the news to all of your TV potential husbands that you have already slept with one of them, behind everyone else’s back. Kaitlyn tells cameras this is her “hardest week yet”. Joe and his stupid hair tells cameras he is “not confident” after the sobbing dentist was sent home so suddenly. The men await the next date card, which reveals that Ben will get the next one-on-one date, and that 3 men will be eliminated by the next rose ceremony. Kaitlyn: “It’s scary going into today’s date knowing I’m already looking at these guys as my husband.” Huh? ALL of them? That doesn’t even make sense.
ROW ROW ROW YOUR DATE :
Ben and Kaitlyn begin their date in a rowboat on a beautiful lake, where Ben takes the manly duties of rowing his woman around the water. They go to a private island, and then they play hide and seek there. Yup, you read that right. Perhaps later they will partake in a game of Red Light,Green Light or Duck, Duck, Goose. Then the two snoozefests sit down outside and she purses her lips like always, and holds a glass of wine like always. I swear that wine glass is attached to her damn hand. And its the largest glass I’ve ever seen. She must pee 25 times a day. Anyway, they break into brilliant conversation.
Her: I think you are very good husband material. Do you think I am good wife material?
Him: Huh? Wha? Umm … yeah. Sure. Of course. Absolutely. It’s just .. you know … I fear being unloveable because of past relationships and such. I loved her, and hard to say if she ever loved me back.
Her: I feel like I am falling in love with you.
Him: I am falling in love with you as well.
“As well???” This is the most boring, formal conversation about LOVE I have ever heard in my life. These two must be a blast in bed together. “I am now going to remove your undergarments. Yes, this feels quite nice. ” “Thank you. You feel quite nice as well. I shall now take off my brassiere for your enjoyment.” Now comes the time on the date when they get the creepy Fantasy Suite card from Pimp Daddy Harrison, who personally writes each card out while sitting nude in the hot tub. Kaitlyn asks him what he thinks about using the Suite together, and Ben fumbles around saying that he would love to, but it’s perfectly okay if they use it to “just talk” all night. It gets awkwardly quiet, and then Kaitlyn asks Ben: “Are you a virgin?” There is a huge pause, he says no, and then she laughs like a maniac. We don’t really see much of their romantic time in the suite, but she tells cameras that Ben set the bar really high and she can see spending her life with him.
LET’S HAVE A THREESOME!!! :
Kaitlyn goes on a “3 on 1” date (yes, that’s really what this show calls it) with Nick, Shawn, and Joe. It is awkward and lame from minute one. They sit outside on benches and drink, because what the hell else do these people do? Drink, drink, drink. All the men are shivering cold once again, and sitting in these weird positions like they are freezing their balls off. How cold is this place? Kaitlyn and Shawn have their alone time first, and they do lots of kissing. She tells cameras that she is going to tell him that her and Nick slept together, because he deserves to know. “Shawn questions me a lot, and he has trust issues. I need to tell him things went too far with Nick.” Before she can do that, Nick interrupts them to get his own private time with her. They talk about their night together, and she says it all just happened so “fast.” Nick mumbles some damn thing, I think he may have told her he loves her but I can never understand him cuz he puts his damn jacket sleeve over his mouth every time he speaks words like an asshole. Stop doing that! And then he bends his mouse-like tiny body into a pretzel and curls up all weird and gets all giddy and giggly like a little girl when he expresses emotion to Kaitlyn. “Tee hee … its like, I think, like, I mean you know how I feel about you, like, you know I love you, mumble mumble.” They make out some more.
Lastly, it is Joe’s turn for private time, and as usual, he looks like he just had ten rounds bending over a toilet bowl. His eyes are bloodshot and he looks all a mess, and he also mumbles but his mumbling is worse because he has some wacky unidentifiable accent. Kaitlyn asks him if he is really ready for engagement when this whole thing ends. “Absolutely. I have a great time with you.” Right. Because having a great time and getting ENGAGED are pretty much the same thing. She asks him again. “It doesn’t worry you at all? Are you ready?” He responds by pushing his gross thick lazy tongue into her mouth again, like last week. He is the WORST kisser on earth, and I have this feeling that his breath smells like dog. She kisses him back at maybe 14%, and then gets really quiet. He mumbles something about being in love with her and how he could spend the next six years kissing her and be a very happy man. (Why 6 years? What happens after the 6 years?) She says nothing for a really long time . It’s awkward as fuck. She tells cameras that if she isn’t feeling it with someone, she needs to address it right away. So she does: “When you tell me you’re in love with me, it makes me think that maybe we aren’t on the same page. I mean, we had so many great times but I don’t know that we are in the same place.” He is a sore loser immediately and brushes her off. “That’s cool. Whatever. Its cool.” “Are you upset with me?” “Not at all. Its cool.” She asks for a hug, and he gives her the worst hug on earth. Worse than his kiss. He says “what do I do now? What am I supposed to do?” She tells him to do whatever he needs to do. “I just wanted to hug you and say goodbye”, she says. “I don’t wanna say shit to you right now”, he responds. Or something along those lines. Again, had to play it 3x and still couldn’t understand what the hell he was saying. Everyone mumbles on this show. Learn to speak, idiots. Move your mouth and enunciate.
Meanwhile, Nick and Shawn sit awkwardly together waiting for her to return. She comes back and tells them that she sent Joe home. They shiver from the cold and look like they might cry. She says she doesn’t feel right giving out a rose tonight, and tells Shawn to remain so she can have more time with him. Shawn is all happy because he thinks he is getting more time, but really she kept him so she could tell him that her and Nick did the nasty. Nick goes back to hotel and gossips to the other ladies about what happened. “She sent Joe home, she sent me here, and she’s with Shawn right now. That’s all I know.” Jared and Ben look frightened and forlorn.
SLEEPING WITH THE OTHER GUY:
Halfway through the episode, Shawn suddenly stops using Nick’s name when talking to camera / interview and instead, keeps referring to Nick as “the other guy” or “that other guy.” It’s really obnoxious, and he is such a whiny little baby. Kaitlyn sits him down and begins to tell him about her and Nick. First, she tells cameras that she “feels so sick right now” like always (MAYBE COOL IT ON THE WINE, GENIUS!).
Her: I do have something on my mind. I don’t even know how to say this. Okay. That night that Nick and I went back to my place, I feel like it went too far. It’s hard for me to admit it, but we had sex. (Had sex? Who calls it that? Wouldnt you say “I slept with him”? The way she spread out the word SEX was annoying.)
Him: (after nodding his head for literally 2 hours of silence) Do you regret it?
Her: I felt guilt. (I also felt his nasty slimy penis which was quite the turn-on)
Him: I’m just trying to figure out why you’re telling me this right now. I think I need to regroup, go to the bathroom, then come back. (he literally said it like that. Spelled out each thing that way. Does he really need to tell her he is going to the bathroom?)
Him: (from behind bathroom door) I’m so tense right now I can’t even piss. (Ewwww!!!!!)
He comes back out after leaving her sitting there forever, and he keeps adjusting and touching his pants and belt buckle. Really weird and a huge turn off. Just more evidence that he just peed. WHO CARES??? He tells her he is not happy, but he is gonna man up and deal with this because she is worth it. She says thank you.
Pimp Daddy Harrison shows up for his one line in the episode and tells the men that Kaitlyn’s mind is made up, and there wont be a cocktail party. Poor Jared, the only guy I actually like and who seems NOT like a total douche, wont get any time with her or get to even talk to her at all. He hasn’t seen her in 4 days, and he is worried he might be going home. During rose ceremony, she chooses Shawn first, and it is very over-dramatic for no reason. “Shawn, do you accept this rose?” He says “I need to talk to you.” They leave Shawn with “the other guy” and Jared and go talk. He says he has been doing some thinking. He says “I understand there are other relationships. I don’t understand why him. Why would you do something like that to us, after you told me I was the one.” She says it was a mistake telling him he was the one so early, and that she needs for him to trust her. He whines and cries some more and then they finally come back out and she asks him again if he will take the stupid rose, and he says yes.
Jared is sent home. He does not get a rose. What the fuck? That seems totally out of the blue, since their last dates we have seen all seemed like very close and very good dates. She walks him out and they sit on a bench, and he asks her if she wants to sit on his coat. He is a gentleman as she breaks up with him. He tells her “you’re a wonderful person and I want you to be happy. Make sure you find the man of your dreams because you deserve it.” They hug and she sobs all over him. He tells her its okay, and gets into the sad limo. She really doesn’t give much of a reason for letting him go. He is crying in the limo and says “It’s tough. I’m really going to miss her. I was falling in love. I know what we had was real.” Oh Jared, I’m sad too. You were the only one of these men I could stomach.
Next, we get to hear more of Shawn’s whining and pouting. “The other guy got a rose so that means he will be having one of the overnight dates. I’m having trouble dealing with that.” Oh shut up.
Nick gets the first one-on-one date. They start out in a cathedral. They light a candle and Kaitlyn realizes her connection with Nick is “spiritual.” They start talking about Shawn. Well, Nick does. “I just have zero respect for people who project insecurities and who brag about being eskimo brothers with famous country singers because they fucked the same girl on the same night but they were first.” Kaitlyn says: “Ewwww!!!” I’m still trying to figure out what the hell Nick was yammering on about. What a tacky story for Shawn to tell Nick, and then for him to repeat to Kaitlyn. She reads the creepy Fantasy Suite card from Pimp Daddy Chris, and then she takes Nick into one of the rooms in the jail they are in, telling him this is their suite. He goes with it and climbs into bed. She pranks him and starts laughing hysterically, then takes him to the actual suite. She says “I can see him as my husband. I got to know him so much more and we sat on the couch and ate chocolate, and I can see it.” They eat breakfast and discuss bacon vs. Canadian bacon. Nick tells cameras this was the best date he has ever been on, ever.
Meanwhile, Wittle Baby Shawn can’t handle the other guy being with his woman, so he calls the front desk and gets Nicks room number, and then shows up at his room later that night. Here is some of their genius conversation:
Shawn: Whats up
Nick: Whats up
Shawn: Got a few minutes?
Nick: Um yeah sure ….
Shawn: So I just wanna get this off my chest and not talk about you behind your back like some of the other guys are doing, and not be man enough to say it to your face. I don’t understand your reasons for being with Kaitlyn. I don’t think it’s why you’re here. I think you’re here for other reasons.
Nick: Well you can say what you want about me, but you don’t know me. And you havent spent any time trying to get to know me either.
Shawn: I don’t want to. Youre manipulative, arrogant, a cocky guy.
Nick: I could say the same things about you.
Shawn: You’re so oblivious maybe you just don’t give a fuck. It’s not a coincidence that all these guys hate you, man.
Nick: We don’t see eye to eye
Shawn: No, we don’t see eye to eye.
(Wouldn’t it be great if they both broke into that song together ….”and we can’t see eye to eye… there aint no good guy, there ain’t no bad guy … there’s only you and me and we just disagree…….” )
TO BE CONTINUED ……….
Next Week: More sobbing over things that seem more dramatic than they are. Chris Harrison writes more Fantasy Suite cards, ordering couples to go and make love while he creepily watches. Ben and Kaitlyn fall asleep during “sex” because they are so boring. The dentist is found on the side of a highway in New Jersey, pulling his teeth out one by one with a hacksaw and sobbing in the fetal position. The men are chilly and request jackets and scarves. Shawn whines that “the other guy” got 18 more seconds of air-time than him and ITS NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!
Legendary Digital Media and Contradiction Films are working together to bring Comcept Inc’s Mighty No. 9 to the Silver scre… to digital platforms in the form of a live action movie! Contradiction Films have proved themselves capable of bring video game properties to live action with the highly enjoyable Dead Rising: Watchtower.
Coincidentally enough, Dead Rising and Mighty No. 9 are both creations of developer Keiji Inafune. Speaking of the deal, Inafune stated “This collaboration will give our creation the ability to reach people all over the world. Thanks to all of your support, we have fulfilled another one of our dreams.”
Mighty No. 9 is a platformer in the vein of Mega Man (also created by Inafune), which revolves around an android named Beck. When a computer virus attacks all of the other electronics in the world, it is up to Beck to save the day! Beck becomes a lo-fi experimental musician, who goes on to have a Grammy award winning career (*Editor’s Note: Wrong Beck!).
Mighty No. 9 is set to release on September 15, 2015. No word yet on the movies release or exact platforms.
The Greek girl from Matt Murdock’s past will reappear as Marvel has cast Elodie Yung (“G.I. Joe: Retaliation,” “District 13: Ultimatum”) as Elektra in Season 2 of Daredevil.
From the press release:
Yung will play Elektra, a mysterious woman from Matt Murdock’s past whose dangerous and exotic ways may be more than he can handle. The first season of “Marvel’s Daredevil” made reference to Elektra, but now Yung will portray one of Daredevil’s fan-favorite characters. Elektra marks the most recent major addition to the Marvel Cinematic Universe, as she will join Jon Bernthal as Frank Castle in the upcoming season of the Netflix Original Series “Marvel’s Daredevil.”
Season 2 of Marvel’s Daredevil is coming only to NETFLIX in 2016.
Disney has announced Christopher Miller and Phil Lord will be directing the next Star Wars anthology film, which will center around Han Solo. The duo have directed hit films such as The LEGO Movie, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, 21 and 22 Jump Street, and recently had their Fox comedy series The Last Man on Earth renewed for a second season.
From the press release:
“This is the first film we’ve worked on that seems like a good idea to begin with. We promise to take risks, to give the audience a fresh experience, and we pledge ourselves to be faithful stewards of these characters who mean so much to us. This is a dream come true for us. And not the kind of dream where you’re late for work and all your clothes are made of pudding, but the kind of dream where you get to make a film with some of the greatest characters ever, in a film franchise you’ve loved since before you can remember having dreams at all” said Miller and Lord.
The screenplay is written by Lawrence Kasdan and Jon Kasdan. The story focuses on how young Han Solo became the smuggler, thief, and scoundrel whom Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi first encountered in the cantina at Mos Eisley.
Lawrence Kasdan, the writer and director known for Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Big Chill and Grand Canyon, is familiar to Star Wars fans for having co-written the screenplays for The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and The Force Awakens. His son Jon Kasdan wrote and directed The First Time, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival, and In the Land of Women, as well as writing for the television series Freaks and Geeks and Dawson’s Creek.
We start with The Price is Rollins from last week and, even for a two minute recap, it runs too long.
We are LIVE(!!!) in Chicago, Illinois for Monday Night RAW!!!
Cole, JBL and Saxton are the guys at the desk.
Brock is here with Paul Heyman to start us out. Paul does his usual intro and calls Brock “The Night Mayor of Suplex City”. Heyman says that Rollins and his “band of merrymen” still think Brock’s in Japan. He says that Rollins lucked his way into the championship. He says that Brock is the king of retribution: he destroyed and conquered The Undertaker’s streak and took Cena to Suplex City. He didn’t respect Cena at all — and he doesn’t respect Rollins. He says the only way that Brock could be beaten was because he succumbed to the pack of hyenas that was Rollins and his guys — but they left Brock alive and breathing — and that’s a mistake. He says Brock will take the title back at Battleground. The fight may be in St. Louis, but the beatings and suplexes begin tonight. He calls the All-State Arena “City Hall of Suplex City”. He says that Rollins will be here tonight and they will have their retribution. “The beatings begin TONIGHT.” Brock leaves the ring with Paul and they go backstage.
Cole and the guys talk about this and, hey, Kane’s in Hawaii and, holy shit, we get Kane with “pictures” showing him in Hawaii. Hoaxers who fake UFO and alien photos are more convincing than this.
And with irony firmly propped up and showing off, Big Show comes out for a match.
And when we come back, The Miz is at ringside and he has a mic. Am I seeing things or is this exactly what happened last week?
MATCH #1: Big Show vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Ryback (non-title) Immediately, Miz starts barking at the two of them. Show shoves Ryback to begin. Ryback comes back with a headlock but Show shoves him into the corner again. Show nails him with a chop to the chest and Miz cheers him on, getting the crowd into this. Miz tells Show to do it again. Show lunges at Miz and Ryback fights out of the corner. Ryback hits a press and kicks at Show but Show belts Ryback and begins beating on him in the corner. He lunges at Ryback but misses a body splash. Ryback climbs the buckle and punches at Show but Show grabs him and drops him on his face. Show has Ryback in a leglock when we come back from a break. Miz continues to yell and it’s at this point that I hope Brock Lesnar is serious about “beginning the beatings”. Ryback attacks Show who confronts Miz but Show STILL manages to fall on Ryback after his legs give out. Irish Whip by Show and Ryback clips Show’s knee. Ryback punches at Show and then tackles him. Miz tries a distraction but Ryback chases him off, spears Show and hits a big splash. Ryback misses a splash off the top rope and Show hits a Chokeslam. Show hits an elbow from the second rope — but Miz is here to fuck the whole thing up at around 10 minutes. WINNER: No contest
RATING: *1/2. The same as last week — only long, with a commercial break. Thanks for that.
Post-match, Show and Ryback gang up on Miz. Ryback hits Shell Shock. Show hits a Chokeslam, then gets taken out with a forearm by Ryback.
TONIGHT: United States Open Challenge with John Cena
Cole plugs Total Divas and calls it “the most controversial season ever”. I don’t even know anyone can tell one episode from the other.
J&J drive around in their new car. This, after we see pics of Kane in Hawaii.
And, now: a Bellas match just in case you were debating on this vs. Tanked on Animal Planet.
MATCH #2: Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella & Alicia Fox) vs. Paige Paige roughs up Brie in the corner. Brie elbows out and tosses Paige outside the ropes, then drops her neck on the ropes. She tosses Paige back in and a two count. Meanwhile, Naomi and Tamina watch backstage because they matter in this intense Divas Division. Paige breaks an armlock by pinning Brie for two, then clotheslines Brie on a charge. Brie backs Paige into Nikki and Fox who attack Paige with impunity. Brie runs at Paige for the running knee but misses and hits Nikki and Fox instead. Fox rolls her up for two, then hits a Superkick. She sets up for a PTO but Brie breaks out and it’s a fight in the corner. Brie misses her Missile Dropkick and Paige goes for the PTO again. Fox gets on the apron, so Paige tosses Brie at her, then kicks Nikki. Brie grabs Paige and hits the Bella Buster for the win at 3:13. WINNER: #BELLASWINLOL
RATING: *1/2. Same as the last few weeks. We’re just trading wins and losses at this point and hoping for a “story” to come to fruition.
Post-match, it’s Fox kicking Paige and Nikki hitting the Rack Attack.
We get a montage of the whole Reigns/Wyatt feud and Reigns hits the ring.
MATCH #3: Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus Reigns runs Sheamus over so Sheamus goes outside to regroup. After getting back in, he drops some shots over Reigns and puts on a side headlock. Sheamus hits a knee to Reigns’ gut and drops a knee to his head. He goes second rope but Reigns gets up and pulls him to the mat, then clotheslines him out of the ring. Reigns chases Sheamus and hits a nice forearm to his head. He puts Sheamus’s head into a barrier and rolls him back into the ring. Sheamus gets up and hits a Running Kneelift. The two exchange blows until Roman is knocked out of the ring. When we come back from a break, Sheamus has Reigns in a headlock, so the crowd gives us our first “CM PUNK” chant in about four months. Reigns breaks and hits falling faceslam. Sheamus runs at Reigns and flies out of the ring. He gets back in but Reigns clotheslines the shit out of him. Reigns goes for a Samoan Drop but it’s a series of counters as both men exchange move attempts. Finally, Reigns sends Sheamus to the bottom rope and hits the Hanging Missile Dropkick, then a Samoan Drop. He goes for the Superman Punch but Sheamus blocks and hits a backbreaker. Two count. Sheamus goes to the top rope and Reigns hits the Superman Punch on the way down. Spear attempt — and wouldn’t ya’ know it? Another Bray video spot because this act never gets old. Reigns isn’t waiting to get his ass handed to him and he attacks Bray on his way down to the ring. But it isn’t Bray. It’s some guy wearing a Bray wig, because now the backstage crew not only helps him with his video clips, they willingly dress up like Bray to get their asses kicked. Bray appears on the big screen saying, “Anyone but you, Roman,” then the ref counts out Reigns because and we’re done around 12 minutes. WINNER: Sheamus via countout
RATING: *1/2. Bored of this feud. Both this one and the fight between Sheamus and Reigns.
Post-match, Orton’s music hits and he beats the holy hell out of Sheamus, puts him in the ring and hits the RKO. He celebrates. That makes it all better, I guess.
Cole plugs the Network.
Rollins and J&J show up backstage and talk to Triple H. Triple H wants to talk to Rollins alone. Triple H wants to know what Rollins is gonna do about Lesnar. Rollins has no idea. Triple H says he wants to see Rollins be the champ after Battleground. Rollins says he has it in the bag. Triple H says that Rollins is cocky but he should do something nobody expects. Rollins says he doesn’t know what that means. Triple H says Heyman gave him a hint with the 11th Commandment: “Never intentionally antagonize The Beast”. Rollins says he’s gonna call out Lesnar and then he’s gonna beat up Lesnar which makes sense if you’re high.
Rusev is in the ring with Summer. Rusev would like to apologize about what happened last week. He calls Lana a “blonde snake” and for how much time he wasted with her. He calls Ziggler a weasel. Summer tries to help Rusev out but Rusev tells her not to waste her time. Out comes Ziggler with Lana. Ziggler says that he knows Rusev’s leg is broken but says his brain must be broken, too. Everything he’s gotten has been because of Lana. He says that Lana was the one who gave him everything. They make out. Summer is pissed and confronts Lana. Rusev blocks Summer. Ziggler holds Lana back. Suddenly, Rusev attacks with his crutch and beats Ziggler senseless and hits a Superkick. He removes the ankle boot from his right foot (DANIELLE: He’s healed! It’s a miracle! Man, JBL needs to study Heenan-isms.) and stomps at Ziggler. Ziggler fights back but Rusev clubs him with the crutch and then drops his throat on it. Refs and medics get into the ring but Rusev just keeps clubbing.
After the break, Cole shows us clips of Rusev’s wrath and informs us that Ziggler was wheeled to the back on a stretcher.
Bo Dallas hits the ring. He says that the attack on Ziggler was terrible. It just goes to show that bad things happen to BAD PEOPLE. Good things happen to good people. Good people, like him. All you have to do is BO-LIEVE!
MATCH #4: Bo Dallas vs. Dean Ambrose Crowd is hot as Bo Dallas attacks and locks in a headlock. Ambrose breaks but gets clotheslined. He does a victory lap and tries for a kneedrop. He misses. Ambrose gets up and clubs away. He hits lariats and a Bulldog. He goes top rope and hits an elbow drop. He tries a neckbreaker and Bo shoves him for the requisite Rebound Clothesline, followed by Dirty Deeds for the win at 3:00. WINNER: Dean Ambrose
RATING: N/A – squash – I can dig keeping Ambrose strong but he needs a real feud. Even against Dallas, though, the crowd is white hot for him.
When we come back from a break, R-Truth is wearing his bed sheet and has a plunger. Him and Barrett are gonna face off because this feud is just red velvet on a stick.
MATCH #5: King Barrett vs. R-Truth Truth hits a beautiful body scissors pin off an Irish Whip. Barrett kicks out and the fight spills to the corner. Barrett beats on Truth and yells “BOOM”. Truth retaliates and sends him over the top rope. Truth chases and Barrett runs Truth into the edge of the mat, then tosses him into the ring post. Barrett isn’t content and whips into another one, then rolls him into the ring for a two count. Barrett beats on Truth, then puts him in a side headlock. Truth fights out and kicks Barrett in the head. He charges again but Barrett just runs him over with a big boot. When we come back from a break (yes, even Truth’s matches get breaks now), Barrett puts Truth in a Surfboard. Truth breaks and hits a lariat. Barrett charges Truth in the corner but Truth hits a series of clotheslines and kick to the gut. He hits a Scissors Kick and Barrett just escapes a pinfall. Truth hits a splash in the corner and tries a suplex but Barrett counters. Truth pins Barrett for two but Barrett kicks out, kicks Truth and tries for the Bullhammer, missing. Truth rolls him up for a two count. Truth goes top rope but, on the way down, it’s a ROAL BULLHAMMER OUTTA NOWHERE MIGGAL to win this thing at 8:41. WINNER: Barrett via Bullhammer
RATING: **1/4. This is the match of the night thus far. Beautifully wrestled for what it was. Both guys looked good with none of the corny “King” bullshit or prop warfare getting in the way. I enjoyed this.
Backstage, Rollins and J&J walk to the ring.
Cole recaps Rusev beating the snot out of Ziggler earlier tonight.
Seth Rollins hits the ring, carrying an axehandle. J&J drive out in their Cadillac. Can’t imagine why. They also have axehandles. (DANIELLE: Brock’s out there. It’s a trick. Get an actual AXE.)
Rollins says that Lesnar was chosen to be his opponent at Battleground because they know that Rollins is the man and the Future of WWE — something the crowd “doesn’t understand”. He says he even proved it last week when him and The Authority beat up Brock Lesnar. Then Rollins shows us an actual montage which is confusing when he can just explain it. Rollins says that he has beaten everyone in his way and he will walk out of Battleground the champion. He tells Brock that he’s right there in the middle of the ring as the crowd chants “JUSTIN BIEBER”. He calls Brock “Paul Heyman’s bitch”, then stands tall.
Brock’s music hits as the heels stand there with their weapons and egg him on. Brock slowly approaches the ring…then stops and backs up to the car. He motions to Paul and Paul rolls a production crate over. Lesnar reaches into the crate and grabs an actual goddamn axe. He grins and “accidentally” backs up into the car, then starts wrecking the shit out of the car. He bashes all the windows and the crowd loves every second. He starts swinging at the rear of the car (DANIELLE: Oh shit…that’s the gas tank…and everyone’s afraid to tell Brock he’s about to die and take everyone in the entire first section with him…) and then takes the driver’s side rear door, rips it from the hinges and tosses it away, fan safety be damned. J&J come down to face him. Brock kicks Mercury, then puts him in the Kimura Lock and “breaks his arm”. Noble attacks but Brock just beats him and tosses him into the car’s front windshield. Rollins tells Brock to bring it on so Brock runs to the ring and hops in. Rollins bails from the ring and runs into the crowd. Brock gets into the ring and holds up the title belt that Rollins left behind. The crowd eats this up
TONIGHT: John Cena’s Open Challenge
TOMORROW: Both Tough Enough and Total Divas are on…jesus…and I thought I’d get some sleep.
MOMENTS AGO: Lesnar Street Fighter II’ed J&J’s new car.
The Prime Time Players are on the commentary side of things for the net match.
MATCH #6: Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara & Kalisto) vs. The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) (w. Xavier Woods) The New Day looks at the damage inflicted by Lesnar and dances down to the ring anyhow. Kofi and Cara starts off. Cara avoids a corner splash by Kofi and tags Kalisto. Kofi punches him and it’s E in on the tag. Kalisto hits a beautiful shoulderblock off an Irish Whip. Too bad E practically no-sells it. E is pushed from the ring anyhow. Kofi comes in but he’s sent from the ring. They go for a dive but Xavier gets in the way. They dropkick his ass, then do twin dives off the buckle. We actually get a commercial break after that. After the break, Kalisto breaks a hold by Kofi. E tags in and he takes out Cara, then belly to belly suplexes Kalisto. Abdominal Stretch by E and it’s a tag to Kofi as the commentary gets weird with Titus telling JBL he’s smarter than JBL. Hot tag to Cara and Cara knocks down Kofi and hits a springboard moonsault for two. Kofi tries to fly at Cara who grabs him and counters into a Northern Lights Suplex for two. Cara dumps Kofi from the ring and the two dive at the New Day. Cara misses and E hits a belly to belly on Kalisto. Back in the ring, it’s the 11th Hour for the win at 10:17. WINNERS: The New Day
RATING: **. Not bad at all. New Day and Lucha Dragons look great here.
New Day and PTP taunt one another after the match.
Cole plugs Dusty’s special on the WWE Network.
NEXT: John Cena’s Open Challenge
Out comes Cena. He stops to look at the destroyed car and smiles. Cole gives us clips of Beast in the East where Finn Balor beat Kevin Owens to become NXT Champ. Cena basically asks the crowd, “U MAD BRO?” after mentioning Owens losing the NXT Championship. He praises the Chicago crowd and says he wants them nice and loud. He issues the challenge and out comes…
KEVIN OWENS.
Owens says the worst part of RAW is when Cena comes out and talks. He’s sick of it, so he’s ending it. He needs the United States Title because, that way, Cena will finally shut up. He says he was content on waiting for Battleground but, no longer. As they’re about to get started, Cesaro’s music hits.
Cesaro says that nobody wants to see Owens whine about losing in Japan. He says that Cesaro is the only person who deserves the title shot. He says that he had Cena ready to tap out last week and Owens screwed it up. He did it because he was jealous. Owens wasn’t able to beat Cena at the last PPV and he won’t be able to do it at Battleground. He tells Owens to leave the ring or else the two of them will have a problem. Owens leaves.
MATCH #7: John Cena (champion) vs. Cesaro (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship Crowd is white hot for this match. After a break, Cena hits a side suplex and goes for the 5KS but Cesaro gets up and knocks him down, then taunts him. He hits a dropkick and tries to charge Cesaro but Cesaro moves and hits a Delayed Standing Suplex, showing off by squatting while holding him up. He tries another suplex but Cena counters and puts Cesaro on his shoulders, hitting an Electric Chair Drop. The two trade shots until Cena tries the AA. Cesaro counters with a DDT. Cesaro locks in a Cobra Clutch. After a break, Cena starts hitting shoulder tackles but Cesaro catches him in a backbreaker. Cesaro tries a splash in the corner but Cena moves and hits the Side Slam. He goes for the 5KS but Cesaro gets up. Cena grabs him for another Side Slam and another 5KS but Cesaro counters with a Crossface. Cena breaks it and locks in the STF but Cesaro breaks the hold with the bottom rope. Cesaro gets up and walks over to Cena who hits a back body drop. Cena goes for a suplex but Cesaro hits three straight Gut Wrench Suplexes. Two count. Cesaro hits uppercuts in the corner and then goes for the Swing. Cena pulls himself up, grabs Cesaro and hits a DDT to counter. Two count.
Cena goes top rope but Cesaro hits a dropkick, sending Cena out of the ring. Cesaro walks outside, then hits a running uppercut. Cesaro tosses Cena back into the ring and goes top rope with a cross body but Cena catches him and goes for the AA. Cesaro lands on his feet. Counter after counter and Cena hits a Frankensteiner and a Reverse Sitting Suplex. Two count! Cesaro gets to his feet and hits an uppercut! Two count! Both men are outside the ring ropes and Cesaro nearly powerbombs Cena to the outside. Cena kicks out but Cesaro pulls him into the barricade. Cesaro runs at Cena but Cena ducks and sends him into the timekeeper’s pit. Cesaro escapes and Cena rolls him into the ring. He goes top rope but Cesaro jumps up and hits a mean uppercut. Cesaro tries a Superplex but Cena breaks out with headbutts, then hits the Flying Legdrop for a close fall.
Cena runs at Cesaro but Cesaro pushes Cena up and hits the uppercut! Close fall! Cesaro calls for the Swing but Cena stands up and hits an AA for two. Cena runs at Cesaro but Cesaro hits the Swing, getting about 10 rotations before letting go. Cesaro hits a Sharpshooter and Cena starts dragging him to the ropes, so Cesaro drops the Sharpshooter and hits a Crossface. Cena rolls over but Cesaro keeps it locked. Finally, Cena kicks out and hits the STF. Cesaro gets to his feet and counters into a suplex that looks like it wrenches his neck. He gets two. Cesaro slings Cena into a corner but Cena tries the Stunner. Cesaro counters into the Neutralizer! Two count! Cena goes for a Tornado DDT but Cesaro counters into a Crossface! Cena drags Cesaro to the ropes and breaks the hold. Cena rolls outside the ring ropes — and Cesaro suplexes him back in as Cena stands up, getting two. Cena hits a Sitting Powerbomb on a rush and HE nearly gets a fall. Both men get to their feet. Cena hits some punches and puts Cesaro on his shoulders, climbing the buckle. Cesaro elbows out and goes for the Neutralizer but Cena punches out of it. The two exchange shots but Cena grabs Cesaro for an AA to retain! WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: John Cena via AA
RATING: *****. What a match. Beautifully wrestled by both guys and a hell of an effort.
Post-match, Kevin Owens attacks Cena but Cena fends him off and hits an AA. Owens flees. Cena celebrates as we go off the air.
OVERALL: Another show that started awful and got better as it went along. It’s nice to see the fans getting a payoff for sitting through Rollins giving gifts like it was Christmas. Brock destroying the car and the Cena/Cesaro epic were the reasons to watch and I can’t believe I’m gonna say that R-Truth and Barrett was a match worth watching.
This week’s Best of Monday Night Open Mic has some of the funniest comments I’ve ever read. Either that or I had too much wine last night:
The official Shadowhunters TV site has released our first look at the Silent Brothers, a special group of Nephilim that serve as medics and archivists. We first meet them in City of Bones when Clary was taken to the Silent City to be examined.
Don’t let their unsettling appearance fool you, they are fierce fighters, talented healers, and live for hundreds of years!
Creepy yet AWESOME! (source: Shadowhunters TV)
(source: Shadowhunters TV)
Based on the bestselling young adult fantasy book series The Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare, “Shadowhunters” follows 18-year-old Clary Fray, who finds out on her birthday that she is not who she thinks she is but rather comes from a long line of Shadowhunters – human-angel hybrids who hunt down demons. When her mother Jocelyn is kidnapped, Clary is thrown into the world of demon hunting with mysterious Shadowhunter Jace and her best friend, Simon. Now living among faeries, warlocks, vampires and werewolves, Clary begins a journey of self-discovery as she learns more about her past and what her future may hold.
“Shadowhunters” is produced by Constantin Film and executive produced by Ed Decter and McG. McG will also direct the first episode. The series stars Katherine McNamara as Clary Fray, Dominic Sherwood as Jace Wayland, Alberto Rosende as Simon, Emeraude Toubia as Isabelle Lightwood, Matthew Daddario as Alec Lightwood, Isaiah Mustafa as Luke Garroway, and Harry Shum Jr. as Magnus Bane.
Telltale Games has made some interesting choices along the way since their humble beginnings in 2004. They have worked on many different properties, including popular series such as Back to the Future, The Walking Dead, and Game of Thrones. They have also touched on the more obscure IP with games like Monkey Island, Homestar Runner, and Sam & Max. The amazing thing is that, aside from one misstep with Jurassic Park, Telltale Games has a nearly spotless record when it comes to point-and-click adventure games. However, even with a strong catalog of games behind them, when I heard that Minecraft was their next big game series, I must say that I had my doubts.
But have no fear! Telltales Games look like they have done it again! They said it couldn’t get done (*Editor’s Note: Only you said it couldn’t be done), but Telltale appears to have turned Minecraft into an exciting, courageous tale full of mystery, action, and adventure with Minecraft: Story Mode. See for yourself in the first trailer that was released in celebration of Minecon 2015:
While story details are somewhat thin, Telltale has given us a brief outline of the season through their website’s blog:
“You’ll control protagonist Jesse throughout the season, as portrayed by actor Patton Oswalt. Jesse and his group of friends revere the legendary Order of the Stone; four adventurers who slayed an Ender Dragon. The Order are the very best at what they do: Warrior, Redstone Engineer, Griefer, and Architect. While at EnderCon, Jesse and his friends discover that something is wrong… something dreadful. Terror is unleashed, and they must set out on a journey to find The Order of the Stone if they are to save their world from oblivion.”
The voice acting for this series will also be top notch. Alongside Patton Oswalt as the games main protagonist, it will also include: Brian Posehn, Ashley Johnson, Scott Porter, Martha Plimpton, Dave Fennoy, Corey Feldman, Billy West, and Paul Reubens. This is definitely a voice cast I can get behind!
A release date has not yet been set, however it is expected to find its way to consoles and PC sometime in 2015. It will follow a similar episodic path set by previous Telltale games, releasing a new episode every month to month and a half. I don’t know about you, but I am excited to see more from the talented team over at Telltale Games!
What famous property would you like to see Telltale cover in the future? Let us know in the comments down below!
Changes are on the way as Microsoft announced that Xbox Music and Xbox Video will be no more after the release of the much anticipated Windows 10 on July 29. Xbox Music will don the hip new title of “Groove,” while Xbox Video will now take on the much more “unique” moniker of “Movies & TV”. Premiering on Windows 10 PCs this summer, these service will make their appearances on other devices in the coming months, dovetailing into the release of the new Xbox One User Interface coming this fall.
“A very clean look, similar to Microsoft’s web apps.”
If you are an Xbox Music pass holder, have no fear! While the name may be changing, the services will be staying the same. You will automatically be upgraded to that new Groove Music pass, and the cost of $9.99 per month will remain the same.
Are you excited for the change or would you like things to stay the same? Let us know in the comments down below!
It was five years ago when we first met the adorable yellow creatures known as Minions in the animated hit Despicable Me and now after one sequel, a slew of shorts, a video game, and an amusement park ride, the little guys have gotten their own film! And you better believe said film was built solely for raking in the cash.
Starting out in prehistoric times, the simply titled Minions opens with a rollicking journey through time as the adorable (and seemingly immortal) dudes journey through time seeking out the most evil villains for whom to serve as henchmen. From t-rexes to cavemen and even Napoleon our heroes try their best to serve their masters but always manage to make a mess of it before moving on to their next doomed idol. But after one particularly long wait in a frozen cave for their next master to show his/her/its face, three brave minions named Kevin, Stuart, and Bob venture out in search their next boss in hopes of reviving their down and out tribe.
Their journey takes them to 1968 New York City and then Orlando for a Super Villain Convention where they encounter and come into the service of ultra villainess, Scarlett Overkill (Sandra Bullock) and her dimwitted husband Herb (Jon Hamm), in a plot to steal the Queen’s crown jewels. What follows is a heist film that turns into a wild chase adventure through the streets and skies of London with banana-crazed gags at every turn.
Is it fun? You bet your ass it is. If you’ve ever giggled at the antics of the minions in their previous adventures you’ll likely find yourself with a big, dumb smile on your face through most of this film’s brisk 90 minute running time. The jokes come fast and furious and the plot moves along like gangbusters in a way that will keep even the most easily distracted child entertained from start to finish. But those looking to be moved in any way are likely to find themselves walking away disappointed.
I hate to compare apples to oranges (or The Godfather to The Three Stooges for that matter) but watching this so soon after Pixar’s masterful Inside Out really is big leap downwards and shows a wide chasm in the possibilities of animated family entertainment. Where the Pixar film challenges viewers to think about the human condition and reflect on their own emotional development, Minions merely tries to make them laugh. There definitely isn’t anything wrong with that in a day and age when laughs are always welcome, but when it comes to pegging a film as memorable or worth spending your hard-earned money on, there really is no contest.
Minions is a handsomely produced flick with good 3D, a strong (if underused) cast of voice talent, and plenty of laughs for humans of all ages, but if you’re looking for something more you know where to turn instead.
