We’ve done it. We’ve arrived at the season finale of The Idol (HBO) unsurprisingly titled “Jocelyn Forever” and not a moment too soon. To be fair, even if it were, would it matter much? The Goodship Joss (Lily-Rose Depp) seems to be out from under Tedros’ (Abel Tesfaye) sweaty thumb for good. She’s down to clown… him right out of the studio in front of everybody.
But even when Tedros is exposed for the paper tiger he is, Magistrate Records honcho Nikki Katz (Jane Adams) uncharacteristically embraces the dude for his penchant for finding talent. The talent on display has her and Live Nation promoter Andrew Finkelstein (Eli Roth) changing their tunes in what really wasn’t an earned victory for anybody in the fucking household. The only one that truly was deserving may have been the criminally under-utilized Dyanne (Jennie Kim).
The only redeeming factor in this entire episode was the showcase of Chloe (Suzanna Son), Izaak (Moses Sumney), and Ramsey. Xander (Troye Sivan) served little purpose in the hour-plus than to be a part of the Showcase Showdown between him and Leia (Rachel Sennott) when news breaks of Rob’s rape accusation. Destiny (Da’Vine Joy Randolph) does channel a little Samuel L. Jackson when confronting the little boy behind Tedros, Mauricio Jackson and I ain’t mad at it. This is, of course, after Chaim (Hank Azaria) literarily castrates him by way of Vogue journalist Talia (Hari Nef) doing what she does best.
Post-recording, Norton informed me that my theory was correct and that the original run by Amy Seimetz was six episodes. Eighty percent of her original vision was in the can before being completely 86’d. Once it was overhauled by Sam and Abel, the run was cut down to five, hence the ramshackle result. I get it (drink); this shit is supposed to let us as the audience into the seedy peepshow that is the L.A. music industry, but it tries so hard, you couldn’t get more West Coast than the severed ghost head of the Black Dahlia blowing Anthony Kiedis as he sings “Light My Fire” in front of The Rainbow Room.
Join Norton and me as we dip our toes one last time into the putrid sewage of episode 5 (6? ‘Fix?’) and come out the other end with more dyspepsia than when we started this damn thing. The series tries to be more shocking than it really is. It’s not Euphoria. It’s Euphoria‘s D.U.F.F., surfeit with so much saccharine kink and danger, the FDA should place on ban on it nationwide. Its ingredients only seek to rot the brain and increase levels of cynicism, not dopamine.
1/5 Stars. (Press kits should’ve included a bottle of Pepto.)
