Sometimes, when reality throws you a nice loop, it’s to hang yourself. Oppositely, when reality throws you a loop, it’s to improve yourself.
Episode 3 – “Mark and Mallory Go to Washington”
Though I’ve never been in a bid for a nickel, a dime, or a quarter except for Poker when I used to play as a kid… this is a different type of bid. One where you cannot get out of, no matter how many coins you can throw at it (which is a bail.) On this eight episode of Space Force title “Conjugal Visit”, we’ll realize there are some things that money, or even more costly, cannot buy.
We begin with Dr. Adrian Mallory (John Malkovich) reviewing with Dr. Chan (Jimmy O. Yang) as General Laird (Steve Carell) pumps his biceps. This assuredly isn’t helping other than onanism, which we all know a certain Prez knows how to do, by sadly through now help of Fuck Tony (Ben Schwartz).
General Naird is not about to let themselves be derailed by this fuckery and instead of above,his actual Aide-de-camp go on his instinct because the conjugal visit was rescheduled and heaven forbid this guy doesn’t get his nut while all the base is primed to overtake for something bigger. Honestly? Love et, uber-alles.
Though Dr. Chan is going to Denver as well (where his General is about to get his fuck on), Mark assigns Captain Ali (Tawny Newsome) to escort the guy on a ROAD TRIP. It’s because everybody but his staff that knows is acutely aware of his mission… except his daughter, Erin (Diana Silvers).
As Fuck Tony tries to narrow down the list of suspects on a corkboard like some type of fucking crackpot to Brad Gregory (Don Lake) and Dr. Mallory and though Gabe Ely was a potential to peg out, he wanted too much money and after a series of fuck you’s, he’s out of the running.
That leaves the trio with much to talk about but not before Mark and Erin take the heli to what is basically to get his nut off. Plus, after a few explanations through the din of winding down helicopter blades and disgust upon his daughter, they go their separate ways within the confines of… well, confines.
Speaking of confines, a conjugal visit is typically in a trailer gussied up like a nice room. Hey, it ain’t no fucking Bellagio! This is jail and you take what comfort you can afford… which in this case means it’s basically a living room with a bed… a trailer.
As Chan Kaifang’s SUV cruises down the road in his Chevy with Angela Ali, they find common ground in music choice. K-pop is always a common ground! Though he’s not Korean himself, Chan and Angela find super common ground through much more than that.
Their General is waiting though, rife with nerves until two knocks meet the door, and as he said ‘two bumps’ his wife Maggie (Lisa Kudrow) comes in and they embrace. It’s a very cute moment, as these are two people that seem in love still, after all that time.
Just as that moment which led to their undressing, Mark goes on a strategy which is his Military brain. Strategy, the operative word.
Their interaction is anything but sexy and more of a task. Even kissing is uncomfortable to watch, and that should be THE TOTAL LEAD IN! That would get anybody horny, right? Nope, not the audience?
Clearly, the disconnect underlines something way more significant… but as either tries to get their groove back, Erin explores the courtyard of the prison. The funny this is she finally finds friends in a group that knows her mother on the other side of the fence.
They may seem menacing at first, being more inside than the outside, Erin wants to know more about them and her mother as she’s not had a full family in a while. This dialogue might complete it, at least through stories while running with them through their free time.
Elsewhere in the free world, Chan is trying to guide Angela through Blind Glasses, which sticks them both together more intimately. At least they are cuter than…
Mark and Maggie, in contrast, sit on the bed, starkly and silently, fully clothed. They seem like two sexless muppets and technically, they are.
Meanwhile, though the Braintrust of Fuck Tony, Dale, and Adrian are running over thoughts that may run them into ruination or sprint them into the spirit, Adrian is freaking out. Nevermind the catastrophe of a well-respected, genius person… This is Space Force on the line! Brad may have an answer though.
Going the whole hog on their love of K-Pop, they cruise on down the road, both the couple, yeah, I said it, couple of Angela and Chan and though Angela cannot see through her Government provided Blinders, she can sense his movements, like Daredevil. She cares not, because she’s having a good time and goes with him on that.
Back at the prison, Erin outruns the other three on the other side out. She’s deserved an explanation and it’s all about respect, so he gets it that her mother’s inmates respect.
As always though, sometimes visits aren’t welcomed… at least with the same outcome.
This means that Mark thinks his life is still in love with him, but rather, in fact, the present speaks to the future. This means being in an open relationship while he’s on the outside and she’s on the inside while quoting the Airforce handbook. She’s found somebody and he’s not it.
It’s complicated and that should be the answer. Maggie’s not gay, but she’s not straight and to be in the clink for 40 years isn’t making it easier. For someone like Mark, it’s hard for him to accept.
Though Mark asks her just for a divorce at that point, Maggie states what is evident in all marriages behind bars. It’s about love and truth, especially if you have a kid. Mark actually embracing her and kissing her on the neck shows maturation and dismissing his pigheaded claims. Love is love.
As Angela and Chan also figure out what is Fullmetal Alchemist and the Brotherhood series, they are so fucking cute together! Their banter is beautiful, actually some of best to come out of this show.
Back in the ‘bunker’ after a great sex session, Mark wants to end her seeing another person, but Maggie doesn’t see it that way. He doesn’t want to ‘cheat’ on her, but he feels that he would be. Duty means loyalty and defection is punishable by death… of the corpus or by the soul. In his case, by the soul. She’s giving him a pass… because Erin isn’t in the business of that.
Once Erin gives the trio a run for their money, the only thing that’s said by the lead Prisoner (Nicole J. Butler) is running is freedom. This gives Erin pause, outside of catching her breath. So Erin runs more and more until it gives her happiness (since she quit track because of the move.)
Back in their Love Suite, Maggie shows Mark that being faithful is enough, but happiness is Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. Mark swore to being patriotic and that’s the most he can do for his wife. He agrees.
Dr. Mallory tells that in only three days’ time, they are about to embark on one of the most expansive, expensive and patriotic things the space crew can do. Go to the moon. There’s only one problem… it’s only Phella Bat (Aparna Nancherla) and Eddie (Chris Gethard). These are played well by both of my favorite comics the idiots on the flight, but they ask decent questions.
As Mark and Maggie depart their separate but richer ways, they see why they came together in the first place: Love… or their ‘love’ left in the first place, Erin, which her dad left behind in a morose state on his helicopter to the tune of “Daydream Believer.”
At the first viewing of this, I thought I would write it off as a simple building up to a finale, but on the second viewing, it truly hit home.
There are some relationships you can’t repair and have to repair before you can get to your goal. Sometimes, self-reflection comes from your better angels.
We’re rounding out the next two episodes and though I’m feeling happy to take on something that’s taken me this long to pen, through ‘uughh’ feeling because I wasn’t a fan the whole season, I may not be reviewing the next, since they were renewed… but this episode made me stand up to the relationships I may or may never had.
I give it 5 bars… sorry, Stars.
