Recap
Guillermo (Harvey Guillén) is shacked up in a motel with the help of Derek (Chris Sandiford). It turns out he can soar for pretty long, but when a vampire that can go to fucking outer space is after you, there’s no rocket science behind not flying. Derek brings meat to Guillermo, but it ain’t raw, so he continues to starve. He grows hungrier with each passing moment and Nadja (Natasia Demetriou), dressed in her finest Detective garb needs to cut to the chase quickly with Guillermo. A.) He can’t simply be short with the person that turned him. B.) That sacred bond involves trust and respect, which only further gums up the pipeline between him and Nandor, believing the only handwritten missive of apology he’d accept would be a suicide note his Familiar made good on. I mean she’s being constructive, at least?
Perched on high like the Dark Knight, Nandor (Kayvan Novak) stakes (hiss) out Panera Bread until he spots his target. What he brings up to the light isn’t Guillermo but rather Patton-fucking-Oswalt who informs him that Staten Island is full of Panera Breads, not just his one spot. I proceed to evict any sense of space or time for but a fleet moment.
Colin (Mark Proksch) is the next to show up at Guillermo’s doorstep to wish him luck but more importantly to conduct the exit interview in his release from servitude and most likely life itself. With a half-assed parting gift and flesh press for the lens, Colin’s outie 5000. Laszlo (Matt Berry) shows up after but is easily distracted by the room’s smuttier amenities, giving Guillermo some time to ruminate and cogitate. He deeply regrets having Derek turn him and in taking the shortcut, he’s alienated himself. Good job, Gizmo. To be fair, I know what that’s like, so preach on.
After their talk, Patton shoots from the heart. He suggests Nandor not take the path of vengeance, but rather of forgiveness. It’s a wickedly harder path, but who knows? If the price of admission to eternal friendship costs but one Patton, his death was not in vain. Nor was it in “vein”. How hilariously and callously disrespectful.
The Guide shows up at Guillermo’s, animal family in tow but not even a Goethe quote could keep Guillermo from darting to his mother, Silvia (Myrna Cabello). Nandor’s waiting for his face-to-face with his Familiar one last time. Silvia seems to be welcoming of an honest-to-goodness vampire in her home and Guillermo is pissed. Nandor doesn’t want to kill Guillermo and even entrusts him and his wooden friend to do what is right.
They return to the residence as equals. Well, not quite yet. In order for Guillermo to fully transform, he must imbibe human blood. He does and for a glorious moment, he feels like a feelin’ super-sexy-Saiyan. Turns out, though, Guillermo’s eyes turned out to be bigger than his stomach. He’s not even able to nibble on a knocked-out restaurant patron as his Master lustfully feeds but a few feet away. This saddens Nandor so the last resort is the most honest one and the most intense: The Ceremony of Vampiric Transmogrification.
With all present, Guillermo must choose his path of either human or a vampire. The ceremony, which includes robes, candles, and compliments to the Guide is just a smoke screen. Guillermo chooses humanity but has Nandor slay Derek to make things right. Hold up. Nandor acknowledges the ‘sacrifice’, but does he really? Things were said that cannot be taken back. With Guillermo no longer wanting to be a vampire, is there any impetus to stay at the house?
He and Laszlo take Derek’s spiked body to Necromancer Wallace (Benedict Wong), basically breaking his Piggy bank for this one very important rainy day. Laszlo rags on the poor dude, but he brings the goods, turning his friend into a zombie. For a nominal fee, Derek can even kick it with Blast from the Past zombie Topher (Haley Joel Osment) among several other flesh-eating residents. Wallace accepts all forms of payment.
No, seriously, dude even takes Zelle.
Takeaway
We’ve arrived at the season five finale of What We Do In The Shadows (FX) entitled “Exit Interview”. The cobbled crochet of experiments gone awry, the tiptoeing around has culminated in what happens when the unthinkable happens: more unthinkable happens.
Guillermo’s journey of discovery was overall well done. My prediction for this season was faulty at best and codswallop at worst. I could look askant and say there’s still time or I can be grateful for what’s been presented to me. That being said, the rewards of Patton, Haley, the Djinn (Anoop Desai), and Benedict are enough for me to be mollified. The fears are allayed. Guest spots can be a very crass and gauche way of ramping up credibility, but no. Everybody in this world is real and just as vital as you or I. No. Everything has its place. The casting this season was impeccable, and I do believe it was money well spent.
The series has always stayed true to itself, reveling justly in the successes and dancing tribally in the failures. It takes risks because it holds that bond of trust sacred with its audience. On one hand, I imagine when you’re dealing with budgetary constraints, perhaps a desire to explore on a grander scale isn’t achievable. On the other hand, you want to stay true to your intimate nature. It’s a balancing act and most importantly it must be entertaining. With Guillermo’s journey as the propellor, I at first was a little bummed with them not taking the show on the road, so to speak.
Thrilling as that would be, it holds the risk of going off the rails in a very bad way. The spirit of the show is and has always been its intimate environs and anything caught too much in the unnecessary muck and mire would be anathema to its homey nature. We, the audience, are among their company. We, the audience, walk the night with them with a new day (hiss) upon them.
For now, from a script with a record number of writers on it for the series, this is the true turning point of the entire series. For now, I’ll happily wade into the deep end of the hope pool that maybe from here on out, Guillermo equals Nandor, if even for a fleet moment before the shit once again hits the fan. The bedrock of their friendship has been thus far solid enough. And what’s up with Guillermo sporting Nandor’s facial hair? With the camera as a central motif throughout hasn’t been fully revealed and if something truly bigger is at play, and this may just be the beginning. Something isn’t adding up and I have this foreboding feeling some math is about to crash. The optics look foggier than ever.
Guillermo got his old, shitty eyesight back. Having seen what was once and what could be is way more valuable than having better than 20/20 vision… and perhaps much more lethal.
5/5 Stars.
