Some Goodbyes Are Just Messy
It never feels good to say bye to someone. It’s a secret power to hide behind the tears, the type you keep hidden. When a beloved brother is felled, it can be a lot to take in. That’s why we have your Vampiric Council and in this penultimate episode of What We Do In The Shadows titled “A Farewell.”
We open in on the vampire residence. Though Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) is trying in vain to deprogram Nandor (Kayvan Novak), it’s been going kind of slogging along. Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch), however, is having a little too much fun with this captive. Nandor feels nothing, as his patience is growing thinner by the moment. Though Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) is convinced he’s still under the washing of the brains, he has seen the light and knows where he stands in the house. He continues to go all-in on the household, speaking truth to power inside of a cage. Guillermo isn’t spared either, as the guy is beautifully bellicose. Tired of all of the bullshit, Nandor’s decided to take a Super Slumber which may last from 50 years to 300.
As Nandor prepares for a long, deep sleep, Nadja prepares a statement as if he’s going to the long slumber from which he may not return. Colin Robinson seems distressed… but that’s for later. Laszlo (Matt Berry) has also writ something, but it couldn’t get beyond one word. Colin’s weeping because he thinks Nandor’s slumber is getting him out of attending his 100th birthday party and with that, everybody’s in a mood.
Guillermo guides his Master to an eternal slumber, blows out the candles, and continues onto the other living dead. In the main area, the Guide (Kristen Schaal) arrives, bearing news. The Supreme Worldwide Vampiric Council has invited them to a checking-in. Though a definite honor, this homestead is vastly underprepared as they are arriving tonight, at 8:30 on the dot. Having one of their own in a depressive state isn’t a good look. This prompts Guillermo to awaken his Master, who has already uncaringly said his piece.
Though Guillermo seals him up, the house has a visitor. Colin, in his white finery, looking all smooth answers the call. The Contessa Carmilla de Mornay (Khamli Alexander) is in attendance, with Dominkyas the Dreadful (David Cross) happening to make an appearance with his “human partner” Coco, and Quinn, aka Donal Logue. Hey, he’s still a vampire from Blade!
At the long table, Dominkyas resorts to requesting McDonald’s for his ‘consort’. Whilst Guillermo delivers Donal feasts on the help, with the Contessa wanting to meet Nadja’s insolent but cool as a cucumber co-leader. In keeping up with his feigned story to leave him be, Nadja admits to killing him for a shot at the throne, but Coco isn’t fine with just a few words talking about vanquishing. She wants to see the evidence. This leads Guillermo to wake up Master yet again, and though Nandor makes a decent point to just view him in simple death adjacent, this can never be simply passing.
As the Contessa, Donal, and Dominkyas toast to the passing of one of theirs, there is one last indignity to be had. Seeing as though the old boy is now pronounced ‘dead’, they take a peek under the hood to see if the ages’ old rumors are true. They find something of ‘average’ stature and though they go above and beyond to ‘feel things out’, Guillermo isn’t out of that dog house yet.
At the blood banquet, Nadja tries to comb things over with a toast but her lovely flank outdoes her with a toast to Colin, boring as he may be. There’s a reason for this. Laszlo knows Colin Robinson is perishing at an alarming rate. This is the reason in the entire season Lazzie has been so kind to the old chap. As it turns out, when Colin and Laszlo were in the library and he was searching up information on energy vampires, information was learned. Energy vampires have a life expectancy of exactly 100 years, and it’s irreversible.
Colin is unaware and Laszlo doesn’t have the non-beating heart to tell the poor bastard. He thinks it’s better he lives his entire life out being dull but happy and I guess it matters none, as Colin’s skipping out on the all-out orgy out for the sake of his tummy. Death has taken hold. Visiting him in his flatulence inflated sepulcher, Laszlo, Nadja, and Guillermo try to comfort the one who is not long for this world. All he wants is a diet ginger ale for what he thinks is about dyspepsia, but amid the awkward want for a proper goodbye, there is only stupidity.
This arrives in the form of Guillermo retrieving Master to pay his last respects and with one last nail in his coffin, accidentally punching a fucking hole in the dude’s face. Yeah, I think the guy is pretty in offal at this point, compliments of Nandor.
The fact that the series was about to merc the main character was pretty serious. There is no way of coming back from the scuttlebutt of getting ones’ face beaten in, and I want to see where this goes. Buttressed by his own, I want to see where Nandor will end up. Will we see a new addition to the group? Will one of the co-leaders be on the tribunal for a legitimate vampire-icide? The finale is next week…
