The problem with living with flatmates is there exists an overlap.
It’s fine and fun for the first few months, but when push comes to shove, boundaries can be crossed.
Welcome to the penultimate episode of What We Do In The Shadows (FX) titled “Freddie”.
We open in on Nadja’s nightclub. It’s been bringing in the big bucks and she couldn’t be happier… this extends to fucking Jim Jarmusch and Sofia Coppola!
Jim is super psyched about Colin’s performance, and why shouldn’t he be? I mean if the lead singer of Phoenix Thomas Mars can co-sign to the child’s gift, then what have we to fuck with but the voice of an angel?
It’s a three-top and Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) best be on delivering. There’s only one problem… Hollywood royalty is in our midst, which is a Celebrity Special.
It’s for only select guests and though they may be designed to request such, it may be the last thing you ask for.
Like, the ONLY thing you ask for, as Jim is convinced the draining of both Sofia and hubby is all smoke and mirrors. Even the literal ripping off of Sofia’s head isn’t a phased thing but rather a passing fad. Oh, indeed they passed it.
Hey, she never got to show Marie Antoinette’s lopped-off skull, so I guess this is her mea culpa?
Who is also passing?
Baby Colin (Mark Proksch)!
He now has a manager in Laszlo (Matt Berry) and they come load for bear. He’s drafted up the scoundrel’s contract. Hey, if you’re going to bring in big ducats, why not say fuck it and monetize what you have? This isn’t playing well with wifey.
Back at the Vampire Residence, Guillermo (Harvey Guillen) is finally out and proud to share that he’s bringing in his boyfriend from the UK from the time he spent with Nadja overseas.
He wants to bring him for the weekend to the city, but Lo, someone’s getting jealous.
Running down the contractual bullet points, The Guide (Kristen Schaal) also mentions things that Child Colin doesn’t care about. Nadja isn’t having any of it and thinks that the main attraction is replaceable. Famous last words.
Laszlo calls her bluff and wants to take the talent on the road. Albany. Binghamton.
She’s now without a husband and a show.
Back at the house, Guillermo shows his dashing British boyfriend Freddie (Al Roberts) about the abode. With Nandor (Kayvan Novak) traipsing along, thirsty is the operative word and not for blood.
Guillermo’s bf/junior associate at an auction house is rubbing off on Nandor in a very good way. Perhaps too well.
He rebuffs the Relentless at every corner and the poor erstwhile conqueror couldn’t feel more left out. The thing is he is called the Relentless for a reason and he always gets what he wants. Pillaging could be a silent thing, ya know.
It’s now consuming Nandor. He is all about Freddie. He wants what his familiar has and will stop at nothing to feel that excitement. Marwa (Parisa Fakhri) isn’t doing anything for him, so he’ll need to take it a step further…
My guy has but three wishes and he’s burning off one now to have his wife, newly betrothed to be transmogrified into a proxy of Freddie. He wants to feel what Guillermo finally achieved… happiness in this house of chaos.
It’s a fucked up wish, but then again, it is Nandor. He means well, but now we know if a man child became the undead what he’d want.
At the club, Nadja’s in a bad spot. She’s been drinking a ton of liquor blood and without her bae and her star, both of which are on the Major Deegan Expressway to stardom.
Though Child Colin is enamored with having his own tour bus, Laszlo thinks that striking out is the only way to make it. By way of Gloria Estefang, Bloody Holly, Batboy Slim, Hall and Throats, Tame Impaler, Beyond Dead Kennedys… you know, all of the greats.
At the club, auditions are underway and Nadja is drunk off of Sofia Coppola’s libation-heavy blood. Who cares at this point? She surely doesn’t.
This is exemplary when she basically boos vampire kids that are only trying to do their best… but is the club owner doing her best?
As Guillermo savors his time with his actual boyfriend in the city, so is Nandor. It’s almost sickening, as his fucking oafish and selfish ways are besmirching what would be a genuine moment betwixt two boyfriends meeting up.
Therein lies the irony.
Nandor is repeating the same mistake. He’s making a copy. Though the feelings may be real, the situation is fugazi, mirroring what his ‘supposed’ bestie is doing.
In her drunken stupor, Nadja has a moment of clarity. This ain’t a nightclub for kids. We’re bringing in the big guns in the form of Le Cirque Erotique. Basically, burlesque by way of vampirism.
At the Binghamton Value Plus Motel, Laszlo meets a surprise. It’s still Colin Robinson… only as a full-grown teenager. They grow just so quickly!
Not equipped to handle the teenage nature of newly formed walking hormones, they continue on to the Binghamton Vampire Nightclub.
Therein lies the catch.
Puberty hit quickly and Colin doesn’t realize he’s growing, so his kid schtick isn’t winning over new fans, especially with a fascinating vox.
It’s a fucking shit show and though literally killing him would be the proper and dignified thing (he’s already dying on stage), Laszlo goes to console him after he storms off. They came to see Baby Colin. He can’t help his changing body.
Back at the nightclub, Gustav LeRoy (Michael McDonald) has shown up. This is Nadja’s golden goose.
As Guillermo looks for his beau in the house, he happens across his boyfriend… with Nandor.
Guillermo knows this is not kosher in the least but before he can make sense of it, Freddie 1.0 enters, coming face to face with his doppelganger. Ostensibly, a freak-out ensues.
At the club, Nadja introduces the self-sucking guy and though he impressively goes for and nails it, even gaining the respect of a hypnotized Jim, the audience isn’t having it.
At her wit’s end, with no recourse, the promise of blood sprinklers keeps the crowd in high spirits and Nadja attempts to stanch the flow, so to speak.
That is until the pressure of it nearly kills one of the patrons. Not even her singing songs from the homeland would save the night.
They’re done.
At the house, Nandor did a bit of hypnosis to both Freddies for Guillermo’s entertainment… until it wasn’t.
The van Helsing gives him the third degree, reminding him the Master stomped on his happy weekend by selfishly cloning the only thing that gave him joy, effectively erasing his ‘perfect wife’ for a few hours of silly fun.
The sad thing is, he had it. Past tense being operative.
Freddie actual had to go back home and now Guillermo’s back to being a familiar, a nanny to Nandor and to the facsimile of his boyfriend… which means he has to tend to a vampire that is loving HIS boyfriend while he pines for his boyfriend.
To be fair, both Freddies are getting on well, as if they were cut from the same cloth. Oh, wait a minute.
Meanwhile, as Laszlo is trying to manage around canceled contracts, Colin is now hitting the teens hard. He’s surly towards Lazzo and doesn’t even know why.
The only thing he knows is that he’s not going on stage unless he’s crooning Papa Roach or Evanescence.
Ah, they grow up so fast.
Nandor, in a rarified moment of clarity, realizes that he might have done something fucked up.
Though he tried to offer up his Freddie to his familiar, the writing was on the wall. He had to let Freddie go whereby let Marwa as well go as well.
Though the departure was sad, he knew it was the right thing to do. To finally know what pain is outside the He finally knows what it’s like to feel the pain that isn’t at the groove of a sword.
Nadja, also coming to terms with the mortality of the club, has Colin’s back. New songs I hope!
We end with Guillermo surprising Freddie in London, but not surprisingly Freddie is now dating Freddie proper. Pobrecito.
Even when he’s won, he’s lost.
On the eve of what is the best season yet, I have questions.
The season has built up so much and I’m so excited, but where does Guillermo go with his relationship with Nandor? What does Nandor have to do with his now depression as he’s sent Marwa to the farm?
How will they now expect a solid income or moreover, pay for that sweet walk-in closet?
Will Colin go full Emo?
